Thursday, March 15, 2012
Just Talk About It
Bethenny Ever After picks up right where the drama left off last week. There is so much going on - the renovation is still underway, with the contractor butting heads with the design team, Bethenny butting heads with Jason, and Julie having a moment. Oh, and Bethenny's planning the boat trip with the therapist, since Jason apparently finally agreed to go.
The helicopter scene was no friggin' joke. The entire episode was basically leading up to that fight on the tarmac. Here's what I think went down: the birthday weekend Bethenny planned for Jason was amazing. He loved it, and then, suddenly, he didn't. Because his parents weren't there. However, Bethenny states she made it so that Jason would have a couple of days with his parents before the big weekend. Somewhere along the line, someone (his mom? or dad) put a bug in his ear that they should have been at the actual birthday festivities. Long story short, Jason was no longer happy with the arrangements. Ok. I would have probably blown a gasket. We have to remember Bethenny is not a big family get together person, and she doesn't feel the need to have family around all the time. That's why she can go two months without seeing her in-laws and it doesn't phase her. It's not that she doesn't like them, she just doesn't need to be around them all the time. Jason should have clearly stated what he wanted for his birthday and made it happen. Bethenny should have just assisted in making his birthday exactly what he wanted. Period. No more surprises, no more getaways. You get what you get and that's it.
But of course, it's not about the birthday itself. As they say, it's never about what it's about. The tension was already there, the birthday was just the occasion that brought it out in the open. Jason seems to be frustrated and not exactly thrilled about being merely a consultant on the Skinnygirl brand and the apartment renovation. He wants his career back. And who can blame him? However, after being SO supportive in the beginning, it is a little disappointing that he would just now realize he wants to be more than just Bethenny's husband. And we all know he's so much more than that. He's a successful guy in his own right. I just don't understand why he's being so passive aggressive in some of these scenes. I say, pull back from Skinnygirl and do your own thing.
The fight before the boat trip is intense. I hate the fact that Bethenny brings it up as their waiting to go on this workshop designed to help them work out their issues. But I have been there. You feel something, you try to hold it in, and the next thing you know, the words are coming out of your mouth. And then, it's out there. You can't take it back. So, she asks for an apology for some pretty hurtful comments from Jason ("you're going to end up alone" - yeah, that one deserves some kind of apology), and she doesn't get one. They have a brief moment of maybe getting it resolved and Bethenny says she does have a problem with people thinking Jason is the perfect husband (because NO ONE is perfect), and Jason says he's done and bolts. We know he comes back because somehow he ends up on the boat with her, but in that moment, he's left. Just like everyone else in her life. It's hard not to think that Bethenny's just repeated the cycle of pushing people away or having people leave her when she needs them the most.
What I took away from this exchange is that there is no point in trying to communicate with someone who has already shut down completely. Jason was against the boat trip in the first place, then decided to go, then found an excuse to leave. At this point, I would say Jason needs therapy the most out of the two of them. He really needs to learn to open up and be able to see his actions objectively instead of getting defensive. Bethenny's statements weren't terrible and she was telling him how she felt when he said certain things. She said she needed an apology before moving forward. Instead of looking at it from her perspective, he threw his walls up.
They're apparently doing a lot better now, but incidents like this are wake up calls. Don't let it get any worse. Be open with each other. This is serious. Talk about it NOW. And if you can't talk about it, at least let the other person know that you WILL talk about it once you've calmed down.
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