If Anyone Is Gonna Stab Someone ... - GG - Shahs of Sunset

Well, when it comes to this week's Shahs of Sunset, there's really only one thing to discuss (ok maybe a couple but one really big thing) - THAT DINNER! THE KNIFE! OMG! I can't believe next week is the season finale and there are so many unresolved issues with this group. The Reunion cannot get here fast enough. So let's jump into the grades.

GG: I LOVED your scene with the therapist. This is the kind of scene I want to see from you every single week. With that being said, why did you go get that knife at dinner? Were you thinking it would shock Omid into calming down? I need clarification. I'm also mystified as to why you would blatantly ignore Asa like that. All you had to do was say hello and be civil. As a sign of good faith that you were there to make peace. By you ignoring her like that it set a negative tone between you and her, and as we saw on the preview for next week, your conversation with her does not go well. GG's grade for the week: D (she did great in therapy but I need to know why she ignored Asa and then pulled the knife out).

MJ: The scenes with your mom were so emotional, but also ended up being very uplifting. I really hope you two are in a better place now. The therapist spelled it out for your mother in such a beautiful way - I just loved all of that communication. The boot camp scene with Mike and Reza was hilarious! And you look awesome - don't let anyone tell you that you don't. Women would kill to have a bust like yours (and mine) - big busted girl power! LOL! I gotta talk about the dinner - you really stepped up and tried to stop the insanity. I'm proud of you for being such a good friend. MJ's grade for the week: A (this is the MJ I love!).

Lilly: First of all, I am so sorry that Ali's friend found it necessary to come into YOUR place of business and tell YOU why you're not married. It was complete bullshit. You're a successful businesswoman and you have nothing to be ashamed about. If Ali can't tell you to your face that your business embarrasses him, that's a huge red flag. I say, walk away from Ali and cut ties with "friends" that don't support you. You're doing nothing wrong by pursuing your goals. If other people have a problem with it, it's exactly that - THEIR problem. It was cool of you to come to the dinner and it looked like you were getting along with everyone, so that made me happy. Lilly's grade for the week: A (stay strong, sister!).

Asa: I felt for you in the scene at the studio, I can't even imagine how nervous you were. But hopefully the song comes out great and Persiapalooza is a success. I can't wait to see how your performance goes next week. Regarding GG, you were standing there and she totally ignored you. That would have pissed me off, too. Some people just aren't meant to be friends. Life goes on. You're smart to focus on what you're doing and leave all that in the past. Asa's grade for the week: A (she's justified in not caring to associate with GG anymore).

Mike: You actually kind of scared me this week because I could see the rage you had for Omid. It was crazy. I'm glad you didn't fight him because nothing good would have come of it. You two would have continued to talk shit about each other after anyway. I hated seeing you that angry, Omid's not worth it. Moving on, it was cool of you to be Reza and MJ's personal trainer for the day. Maybe you should do a workout DVD!!! Mike's grade for the week: C (he let his anger get the best of him, but at least it didn't get physical).

Reza: No good deed goes unpunished, and you found that out firsthand this week. I mean, you did great getting everyone together. But no one would have guessed that good old Omid was gonna be the one to fuck everything up. I'm proud of you for communicating with GG and letting her know that you're there for her. It could have ended up so much better if Omid hadn't been there. Reza's grade for the week: A (he really tried to get things back on track).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Shahs of Sunset - Sorry, Not Sorry - Mercedes Javid

Happy Friday, my friends! I'm so excited to do these blogs that by Friday, I'm like bursting with energy, so I hope that comes through in today's posts. Let's talk about Shahs of Sunset - I loved this episode. Everyone was getting along for the most part and we got a lot of quality family time, which is always great. I forgot to mention Omid's hair feathers last week, but thank the fad gods, there they were again this week! Is this a thing for guys? I didn't think so. GG, fix that, please. Anyway, the episode was a lot of fun so let's judge these reality stars!

GG: Thanks to Twitter, we know you and Omid have slowed down and you're not marching down the aisle any time soon. I have to wonder if his player ways haven't subsided? I liked the scene with you and MJ because you two were able to listen to each other and air your grievances without getting crazy. Which is awesome. I agree with you, it is annoying for someone to uninvite you to a trip and then bug you about how bad the trip is going. I hope you ignored her texts! At least for a few hours! Honestly, you were right to not want to hear about anything that happened on the trip at all. Now, you know I'm gonna flip out on you next week for waving that knife around (watch the preview here), but don't worry, this week's grade won't reflect that. GG's grade for the week: A (for actually COMMUNICATING!!!).

MJ: It's hard to watch these episodes with you and Reza getting along because we know things are not ok in real life right now. When you were on Watch What Happens Live, you spilled all the tea and let us know - especially on the Aftershow - that you feel wronged by Reza and his crew. And I honestly don't blame you. So, forgive me if I can't separate what's on the episode from what's happening now. With that being said, you were an awesome friend to Reza on this episode and it made me wish that you two would work out your issues and make up for good already. You were hilarious in the go kart race, by the way! As for your conversation with GG, you were wrong to blow up her phone about the trip and Asa and all of the Cabo stuff because it was insult enough to uninvite her in the first place. You just added insult to injury, so to speak, when you decided to give her the play by play of a vacation that she was so unceremoniously excluded from. However, you stated your case to GG and communicated with her - which, in my book, counts for a lot. MJ's grade for the week: B (she was a good friend this week and had an honest exchange with GG).

Mike: Congratulations on your girlfriend meeting your family, it went well! That's awesome! I have to ask, what's the deal with the teeth whitening? Isn't that dangerous? Anyway, you were very good with Reza's family and it looks like you got along with everyone in New York. No surprise there. Mike's grade for the week: B (I like Mike, but damn, those teeth are white enough!).

Reza: I'm so glad everything went well with your family and especially with your grandmother. There seems to be so much secrecy going on, so that definitely doesn't help you to make peace with all these things that happened when you were younger. I love that you forgave your dad and also, your grandmother, because you're absolutely right. You can't hold on to that stuff. You weren't there for all the problems between your grandparents, and no one is going to reveal what happened, so you just have to leave all of it in the past and trust that the love you have for your family is enough to move things forward from now on. You were on good terms with MJ this week on the show, but like I told MJ, it sucks that we know you two are on the outs again. You guys really need to work this out. Reza's grade for the week: A (the family stuff really spoke to me).

Asa: Ok, I hate saying this, but ... I'm a little tired of this whole diamond water thing. I'm not saying it's not a good idea, because it is. But you really just go overboard with this whole energy thing. I'm pretty sure the diamond was beautiful but you tried it when you said it was vibrating and giving you energy. Come on, gurl. Then, you had this whole ceremony thing in the warehouse ... I was just over it. I like you and respect you but that just got on my nerves. Having said that, if you like it I love it, do your thing. It's just not for me. And ... I have to point out that your Harlem comment was a little inappropriate. Just saying. Asa's grade for the week: D (I am over the diamond water at this point, sorry).

Lilly: Oh my God. You are the blind date from hell. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??? Lilly's grade for the week: FAIL (that date was terrible! Come on!)

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Shahs of Sunset - "Better to Be a Red Hot Mess" - Reza Farahan

Happy Friday, everyone! I just want to let you all know that all blogs will be posted on Fridays from now on, so check in with me on Friday for all your reality tv happenings and of course, grades and rants. I really enjoyed this week's Shahs of Sunset episode, partly because I now feel like I know what it is to have a Cabo vacation, which I've never had. I also now realize I've never been on a yacht or anything resembling a yacht and now I can say I lived vicariously through my Persian princes and princesses on the show. But it wasn't all fun and games, so let's give out some grades.

MJ: I love that you proved that you're the life of the party and you don't care what anyone thinks of it. That just made me love you more. I love that you hugged it out with Asa, but the look on your face told me you do not trust her. It was hilarious when you said in your interview "I win" when Lilly left. Is that what it was about, really? That you can hang with Reza (and vice versa) and she can't? I'm just wondering why you were even threatened by Lilly in the first place. You know she is not going to take anything away from you. But then again, I know what it's like to be wary of new people, so I'm just going to leave it at that. And you're right, being a skinny bitch ain't everything. I do want to know why you had your dog's pills with you in Cabo, though? WTF? MJ's grade for the week: B (you did your thing and had fun, but I can't help but worry about those pills ...)

Reza: You are a shit-talker, but I can't stay mad at you. You definitely talk shit about everyone, so I'm thinking you're one of these equal-opportunity offenders. Not that it makes it any better. But this thing with MJ is really blowing up in your face. Really? Showing her ID and taking those pills out? Her reaction was great, because she really couldn't care less, but it just sucks that you air her personal info like that and really for no reason. I'm sure that because you're so close to her and you love her so much, you think it's ok, but it really isn't. I was happy to hear you admit that Lilly is indeed a buzzkill. She is. Was your statement that it's better to be a red hot mess than fake perfect directed at Lilly, perhaps? Because Bravo sure made it look that way. Reza's grade for the week: D (I love you, but you really embarrassed your best friend and I can't be ok with that).

GG: Congratulations on the event going so well. Even your sister had to admit that it was great, and she said she was proud of you, which really made me happy for you. That's awesome. I wasn't into all the games with Omid and Alex, but hey, whatever floats your boat. GG's grade for the week: A (you pulled the launch party off and you seemed genuinely happy).

Asa: I think you're on to something when you say MJ will not be cool with you because of your friendship with Reza - although she accepted your apology and really didn't do anything to you after that, even after the purse thing. I appreciate you apologizing for saying those things about her and for admitting that you don't even know if it's the truth. So, at least you came clean, and that's worth a lot in my book. I love that you laughed off all the jokes about your ass in that tiny bikini. Hey, that's a normal size ass where I'm from! I don't know what those people were talking about! But, then again, next to Lilly, my ass probably looks like a planet. Ya feel me? Speaking of Lilly, I'm with you. I want to see what's beneath the mask and the facade. Asa's grade for the week: B (you apologized and had a great time but there's still tension with MJ).

Lilly: I've been so on your side all these weeks, but this week, I cannot cosign you on this episode. Wow. How many times can you say you're grossed out? Why the fuck would you take a Birkin to a club? Why are you talking about your thighs and laser treatments and then asking Asa to go with you (that was the real shade)? We get it, you don't like drunk people. But seriously, you should have left Cabo after the second night if that were the case. MJ said on Watch What Happens Live that you USED to party but now you don't because you're on the show. I understand not wanting to be on camera all tipsy, but damn, you set yourself up now. It's just like when the Countess (Luann) started all that etiquette bullshit on RHONY. She painted herself into a corner and then she couldn't be herself. Don't let that happen to you. I like you but I don't ever want to hear you talk about how gross drunk people are ever again. And believe me, having a drink isn't going to make you look bad. It's how you handle it. Lilly's grade for the week: F (it pains me to do this, but you were a total vibe killer this week).

Mike: You made me laugh the entire episode. You were right on the money with your analysis of Lilly and your MJ impression was hilarious. You get the Honorable Mention this week!

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Shahs of Sunset - Let the Girl Apologize

This week's Shahs of Sunset made me really sad, I don't like seeing this group fracture off into cliques. It's not cool and although I understand where everyone is coming from, it's not fun to watch. This week, the gang (minus GG) heads to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and even though GG is not there, a fight erupts between MJ and pretty much everyone else. Sammy was there to back MJ up, at least. The issues within this group of friends are getting deeper and deeper, and each one is getting more and more entrenched in their own point of view. The communication skills on display this week were atrocious.

Let's get into the grades and brace ourselves for next week's episode.

Asa: Ok, hun, I gotta call you out. You know I love you. But it was a weak move not going to speak to GG and MJ. You had no idea where the conversation would go, and you could have always gotten up and walked out if the situation got out of control. When GG attacked you at the pool party, you laughed it off, but now, you seem to use it as an excuse to blacklist her from every event you go to. I'm not saying to give her a free pass, but you could have let her apologize to you, and THEN kept your distance. I see what you're saying about consequences, but seriously, not being a part of MJ's birthday party really shook GG up. Now, let's move on to Cabo. I'm hoping you're the victim (one of many) of shitty Bravo editing (probably not), but tell me that scene where you were laughing while MJ was talking wasn't as bad in real life as it looked on TV. Because it looked really bad. You may not have thought it was a big deal to laugh MJ's speech off, but it was kinda rude. And then, when she starts to get pissy with you, you pull out the big guns and out her for being a pill popper. I really don't know what you were trying to accomplish with that accusation, but it only made matters worse. You were supposed to be the calm, rational one! Asa's grade for the week: D (didn't agree with her not showing up to talk to GG and the way she treated MJ at dinner was uncalled for and unnecessary).

GG: I give you a lot of credit for wanting to apologize to Asa and for going back to therapy. It shows you're growing and learning from your mistakes. When Mike told you over the phone that you were uninvited to Cabo, you were upset but you didn't freak out, and that spoke volumes to me. It means you CAN control yourself, and therefore, sometimes you just don't want to. One of those times being when you attacked Asa. You were absolutely right when you said your friends should support you, not exclude you. At least not forever! Once or twice to prove a point, ok, but you wanted to apologize and Asa couldn't be bothered to even hear you out. Believe it or not, I'm with you on this one, and you know how hard I've been on you in the past. About the business meeting with your sister, you were once again more in control of yourself and didn't blow up at her when she made her rather nasty comments about you and the business. The problem is, you two don't agree on what your role is. If you're advertising and marketing, she should let you do that. She needs to back off and let you do this party and if she's so worried about it, she should work with you instead of against you. I was proud to see you preparing for the launch party and wish you well with it. I can't wait to see how it turns out. GG's grade for the week: B (she's trying to get better and no one is really giving her credit for that).

MJ: You were straight up with GG and told her like it was and that's why I feel you are a good friend to her at this point. You did not agree with Asa not showing up and you told her so. You did not agree with uninviting GG to Cabo and you made your opinion known. Some might say you shouldn't have gone to Cabo to show GG some solidarity, but hey, that was your choice to make. You immediately objected to having Lilly on the trip, but as usual, you were overruled. I totally agreed with you when you asked who made Asa and Reza the bosses of this group! What the hell? I don't see Lilly quite the same way you do, but not everyone has to like each other. It's not the end of the world as long as you're able to be civil and not cause problems. Speaking of Lilly, I do think her gifts were sincere. That white bathing suit didn't do you any favors at the pool party and it still didn't in Cabo. Lilly told you to wear the other suit in a very kind way and she was VERY kind to you. She could have been MUCH cattier and she wasn't. So, don't be so suspicious of her. Those gifts were given from a positive place. Now, regarding dinner, I could see where you were going with the conversation and it went terribly wrong because that group was not about to listen to your therapy breakthroughs. Just like you were annoyed with Lilly for not drinking on the trip, the rest of the group was annoyed with your chosen topic of conversation because it was ... for lack of a better term, killing their buzz. Now, when you started mocking Asa and her pop priestess persona, she fired back harder than you anticipated. You lashed out and cussed her out. It wasn't even about whether or not you said those things about Lilly anymore. PS - we all know now that you have talked shit about her. So, although I reprimanded Asa for bringing up the pill thing, you went after her first and she retaliated. It was harsh and we don't know if it's true or not, but you really went off on her and I didn't like that it went to such a bad place so fast. MJ's grade for the week: C (she was great with GG but the fight with Asa escalated way too quickly and got way too ugly).

Reza: I'm so disappointed in the way things have gone down on this episode. You and Asa have become like the Mean Girls in the sense that you feel you can pull rank and force people to do what you want no matter what. That's just not cool with me. It was so sad to hear you make Mike choose between you and GG, because you knew that wasn't a fair choice. Of course, Mike's going to choose you, and you win and GG loses. Not only that, but then, you have to order Mike to call GG and "do it", "uninvite her". I just don't understand why you couldn't have a conversation with GG and let her apologize and see how you felt after that. I have to address the "dark" comment about how you don't like your men dark. Look, you're attracted to what you're attracted to and that's no one's business but your own. Which is why you shouldn't make jokes like that when there's a camera in your face. Just saying. It was fun watching you have a good time with MJ and I really hope she doesn't mind you crowning her as the reigning expert on penises. At dinner, you did ask her to lighten up the conversation but when she wouldn't you joined in with the others and outed her for talking shit about Lilly. Yes, you were telling the truth, and yes, you have a point - MJ should address her issues with Lilly to Lilly's face - but you know MJ was not about to do that and especially not after being antagonized. Reza: D (I don't know why he's being so mean at certain times during this season, but I don't like it. I don't mind him being feisty, but the whole vibe I'm getting from him right now is very negative).

Mike: I so have an issue with you appeasing Reza and Asa. Again, if GG was allowed to apologize, things would have been different, but Asa didn't give her the opportunity. Why did you let Reza run over you like that? You could have said, "This is my trip and everyone is invited. Whoever wants to come can come." You should have totally taken yourself out of it at that point. If Reza and Asa weren't going to go, that's on them. In Cabo, you had a drunken blast but you clearly paid for it the next day. And I was dying laughing when you stared straight into Lilly's boobs. Hilarious! Another funny moment was you referencing the fact that MJ was lucky it wasn't warm when she saw your "business". LOL! Mike's grade for the week: C (I didn't agree with how he handled the whole Asa/Reza/GG thing, but he's hilarious and I can't stay mad at him).

Lilly: Gurl, I love you, but why on Earth would you go on a vacation with people that like to drink (you knew this going into it) when you aren't about that? Don't get me wrong, I totally respect you for not drinking and not needing to drink to have fun. I actually love that. And you're right, alcohol makes people do stupid things. Absolutely. But why would you put yourself in a place where that's all you're going to be surrounded by? Doesn't quite make sense, unless Reza ordered - I mean, asked - you to go. I feel like you were pretty miserable the whole time and uncomfortable to say the least. I loved that you gave the girls gifts, though. That was a really nice gesture and I think you were sincere about it. You were totally nice to MJ and didn't say anything mean to her when she was asking about her bathing suit. I mean, if you wanted to be mean to her at that moment she left the door wide open for you to do so, but you didn't. That says a lot. You toasted to MJ and encouraged her to open up to you even though you two have had your differences, and unfortunately, that's when other people got involved in the conversation and blew it up out of proportion. You did speak up and let MJ know that you realize that she just doesn't like you, but I didn't think you were being mean about it. You were just stating facts and letting her know it doesn't bother you. I did think it was funny when you said MJ told you she took an Ambien, I have to admit that. Lilly's grade for the week: C (she should have never went on this trip, but she tried to be cool with MJ and I give her credit for being honest at dinner).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Shahs of Sunset - Too Mean?

This episode of Shahs of Sunset made me a little sad, actually. I can't say I don't understand where each cast member is coming from - but it's kind of becoming a bit mean for my taste. Don't get me wrong, I love shade and cattiness, but there's something about real friends (not just people thrown together for a reality show) fighting that makes me sad. It's kind of Jill/Bethenny all over again, except this time it's Reza/MJ and I'm not sure who is who in this scenario.

But can I just express my love for Tehran, the half black, half Persian prince in this episode? I freaking love him!!! And Sammy makes an appearance, if only to defend MJ for a moment, which really didn't bother me at all and didn't make much of an impression on Reza, apparently.

So let's get to the grades and hopefully next week we'll get some resolutions for these friendships.

Lilly: I know you were not the one to start the drama with MJ, but you do have the upper hand in this situation. You are skinnier, prettier, younger, and you have Reza. Did you really have to chop MJ down in front of everyone by saying she shouldn't have worn that dress? Yes, it was too small. We can all see that. But you had already won before MJ even walked into the room. It's so obvious that she is jealous of you - the best thing for you to do when she said you should have worn the dress your sister was wearing is say "I like that dress, too!" and keep it moving. But, I can understand why you had enough and it's not like you said anything too cutthroat. It was not nice, though. And then, in Reza's office, you went IN, sweetheart!! I know, I know you were just joking but damn. I would never want to be on your bad side. You kept up with Reza in the shit talking department, and that's not an easy thing to do. You are right about one thing, if you can dish it out, you better take it. And I think you can, which is the only reason I'm not mad at you for all this. Lilly's grade for the week: C (she slammed MJ pretty hard, but she didn't start all this).

MJ: I feel bad for you - but only to a certain point. I think you hit below the belt just as much as Reza did in last week's episode. You know that you can be hurtful, just like he can be, so why not contact him after you had calmed down? Was moving out of your office truly necessary? I think you needed and wanted an excuse to abandon the office and this was the perfect time to do it. I don't think calling Mike dumb is going to be good for you down the road, especially with him being cool with you after the fight. And you have to remember, everyone is different in business. Mike may be great at residential, you don't know what he may have that you don't have. And that desk. That poor desk. Gurl ... I just ... I can't. It was such a crystal clear metaphor for you on this show right now. A mess. Now, at the party, you really didn't need to go up to Lilly and comment on her or her sister's dress. I don't think you were purposely trying to say anything too fucked up, but you wanted to give her a little dig. And you ended up getting more than a dig back. It was a friggin' gouge. But you opened the door for all of this when you met Lilly. Maybe you should have been nicer? MJ's grade for the week: D (I can't with her right now).

GG: Oh my God. You are out of your mind. I hope when you watched this episode you booked a year's worth of therapy and found your local AA chapter. Because this shit was cray. That's all I can say. GG's grade for the week: F (GET HELP!)

Mike: I laughed so hard when you brought punching bags with you to GG's house. I bet you needed to punch something by the time your conversation with her was over. Jeez Louise! The scene with your family was pretty rough - but I honestly think you can succeed at anything you put your mind to. Your dad has a point, don't forget everything you learned doing commercial real estate. But, I'm sure there's a way for you to eventually take residential and commercial jobs. That would really be the ideal. I think you can prove all the naysayers wrong, just stay focused. Mike's grade for the week: A (he really tried with GG and he has a lot to prove to his family but I think he can do it).

Reza: My dear, sweet Reza ... you're getting into dangerous territory this week. I don't mind you venting about MJ but what you did at the party was especially dick-ish. And I like you! I do think you're funny, but damn, you knew MJ was listening for her name in that toast. I just feel like the vindictive look is not a good one for you. At least you admitted that you were being mean on purpose. You wanted to teach her a lesson because she hurt you. I get it. But the only way you're really going to resolve it is to sit down and calmly talk things out. Just going back for more and more digs is not the way to go if you ever want to be friends again. If not, then hey, do you need to kick the girl when she's down? Probably not. I would be really hurt if my best friend sided with someone who said those things about me but I'd have to have a conversation with them alone - I wouldn't be able to hold that in for very long. I'd have to confront it with tears and emotions and all that fun best friend stuff. I'm just saying, the whole "teach her a lesson" thing is just masking the hurt, it's not curing it. Maybe some mediation would be good, a joint therapy session. Reza's grade for the week: C (I get where he's coming from, but it's gonna get old real fast if he doesn't take steps to resolve it).

Asa: Well, we finally got to meet your love, Jermaine Jackson, Jr. which is a huge deal, so thank you for sharing that with us. I think it's terrible that you experience such hatred because of your interracial relationship, but sadly, that mentality is still alive and strong in some people. It really is sad. But I wish you and your love the best because you two are DEFINITELY into each other. But, can I just tell you, the "daddy" thing ... maybe not so much? It's a little creepy! I loved the segment with your mom driving, that was hilarious. And I'm so sorry the fashion week gig didn't work out. Are you at liberty to say why? We want to know! At the party you gave your two cents which I didn't have a problem with. I think at some point you need to resolve your issues with MJ and GG, just make sure there's no alcohol present. Asa's grade for the week: B (I'm glad she introduced us to her man, but I want to know what's going to happen with her career).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Shahs of Sunset - Oh Snap! PS - I'm Back!

Well, kids, I'm back! And of course, my first blog back has to be about Shahs of Sunset. I'm not saying I won't be blogging about Real Housewives, but I needed to ease myself back into the blogging scene, and the thought of some of the shenanigans on RHOA and RHOBH were a little too much for me to take right now. I will be blogging about them, though. I just want to catch up and give you my best snark possible for those HWs, ya know? As for myself, I feel 100% better and the little week-long sabbatical from all things reality-tv related was just what I needed. Sometimes I just have to step back and make sure I'm ok before I hand out grades (judgment) on these lovely people who let us watch their crazy amazing (for the most part) lives. I feel super grateful and super positive and I feel like Shahs was the perfect show to re-launch the blog (after a week, LOL seriously, I am such a drama queen).

But, enough about me, let's talk Shahs! I AM LOVING THIS SEASON. Episode 1 - winner. It gave me everything I needed - family drama, partying drama, friend drama, and of course, luxuriousness for days. Episode 2 popped off even more than I expected and I feel like we are seeing the true dynamics of this group - they've grown and changed, in ways we didn't really imagine. Who knew all this was going to happen in the first two episodes? Bravo, Bravo! You've outdone yourselves.

Before I give out grades, um ... what happened to Sammy? Just asking.

MJ: You have opened up your soul so far this season, and I honestly feel for you. The whole situation with your mother is heart breaking, but I have to side with your aunt and tell you to leave your mother alone. At least for now. I love that you're in therapy (I will always advocate for therapy, especially when it comes to reality stars), and I think you know exactly why you and your mom have issues. You have to take the time to pull yourself out of this rut you're in - trying to get your mother's approval, because it will not happen right now. Once you free yourself from her expectations and opinions, and do what is truly right for you, she will not respect you. You have to use that pain to propel you forward. I'm rooting for you. However, you have to stop babying GG. Because it's making you look bad at this point. Let GG make her mistakes and stay out of the fights with her and Asa. You can't win being in the middle, regardless of how much you can appreciate both sides. This isn't your fight. Focus on yourself - I mean it. MJ's grade for the week: C+ (for working on herself, but she has to quit the mommy stuff with GG).

GG: Are you and Joanna Krupa related? Because I think you both suffer from the same delusion. Don't get me wrong, I see a much more likable side to you this season. You are softer but you still have that hair trigger. Not cute. Seriously, get off the booze and take a lesson from MJ. Get yourself some therapy and figure out why you want to lash out at people every single time you drink. It's not a coincidence. It's a problem. And sorry, but Obid was super inappropriate at Asa's dinner. You actually weren't that bad at the dinner, but you made up for it at the pool party. You were drunk and horrible. You were ok in the beginning when you were telling Asa why you got offended, but you let your anger take over and it totally negated every good point you would have made. Now, let's talk about the whole business/sister thing. I can see that you're overwhelmed but if you know your sister isn't going to be sensitive to your situation, ASK SOMEONE ELSE for help. Call MJ or some other friend who has a background in business. Ask Reza! The point is, don't come to your sister with this whole "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" bit and then be all sad because she tells you the truth about yourself. I think you definitely need an internship somewhere so you can realize how fortunate you are to just start off a business without any kind of experience. You are in such a blessed position and you don't even appreciate it. GG's grade for the week: F (she's got her head up her ass at this point).

Asa: I can see why GG was offended at what you said - and I think you would have responded differently if she had spoken to you in private before the pool party. The fact is, your comment about Obid's nose was insensitive and rude. But it didn't warrant such a violent reaction from GG. I'm glad you didn't back down, though. No matter what was said, her running towards you in a drunken rage was totally uncalled for. You moved on and didn't engage her at all. Regarding MJ, I think you weren't out of line telling her that she takes GG's side, especially when she hadn't approached you about it until after the fight. I can totally relate to you not wanting to deal with bullshit, but I have to say, you have to watch yourself, too. You can't say inappropriate things and not expect someone (GG) to react. In her case, it was an overreaction, but the point is, lead by example. If you wanted to applaud Obid for not getting a nose job, there was a much better way to say it, and maybe not at a table full of people. You could have told him you love his profile and talked about your profile art. Something like that, something not so ... incendiary as "cheers to your big nose". Asa's grade for the week: C+ (because she did make a rude comment but at least she didn't play into GG's violent behavior).

Lilly: I love you. Seriously. I didn't think I was going to dig you as much as I do. You're super nice, super sweet, and super cool. Of course, you think a lot of yourself but I'm actually willing to overlook it because you're so damn likable. When you stood up to Obid, I was like, YES! I like this girl! I love your friendship with Reza, too. The bikini business is definitely promising - and business will boom with you being on this show, which makes me think you're a smart business lady, and that makes me like you even more. Lilly's grade for the week: A (she really impressed me!).

Reza: You're still my favorite, boo! I love that you're even more fabulous this season. I didn't think that was possible, honestly, but you are. I'm excited to see your relationship with Adam develop on the show. And you are a genius for bringing Lilly on, by the way. The business relationship between you and Mike would be awesome, so I hope you two pursue that. I just love you, that's all. Reza's grade for the week: A (for being himself - and keeping it real with everyone so far this season).

Mike: I love you this season, too! The Italian girlfriend, the partnership with Reza, the whole thing. I love what you're bringing. I also loved that you tried to calm GG down. You're still her friend throughout all her craziness. I just hope she appreciates that. You're a good guy and I think you're gonna do great things. You've got a much better attitude and you just seem to be in a much better place emotionally. Mike's grade for the week: A (he's the new and improved Mike!).

What are you loving or hating about Shahs of Sunset this season? Let me know! Tweet me!