Monday, August 29, 2011

2011 VMAs - Introducing Jo Calderone

I just wanted to blog a little bit about the VMAs, since I watched and tweeted about it. Check out my tweets at:

First, I love how people are hating on Lady Gaga's new character, Jo Calderone. I'm sure they're all pissed off because they wanted another meat-dress-type of costume for them to make fun of. Well, Gaga kind of pissed on their parade, didn't she! LOL! I LOVE that she did something TOTALLY unexpected. At first, it was like a play, this guy giving his soliloquy for this audience of somewhat stunned stars. (Did you see the look on Bieber's face?! Total confusion. Loved it.) As the performance went on, I just couldn't help but be proud of Gaga. She doesn't HAVE to dress sexy. She doesn't HAVE to wear designer gowns. She CAN. But she doesn't HAVE to in order to give an amazing performance. She was in character throughout the entire show. Some celebs can't even master one character and this broad has 2 alter egos: Lady Gaga and now, Jo Calderone. Whether you liked it or not, Jo/Gaga gave an amazing performance full of heart, passion, and pure talent. No wonder Biebs had that scared look on his face - he was probably reaching for his pacifier and his mommy! LOL! Seriously, though, if you're hating on Gaga for not being glam for the VMAs, just think of it this way: she gave you something different. And you gotta appreciate that.

Also at the VMAs, Beyonce's stunt, I mean pregnancy announcement. Now, I may be a little cynical. But popping out your baby bump at the VMAs just seemed a little ... stunt-ish to me. I don't know how else to describe it. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her and Jay, and I am a fan of theirs. It's just - it seemed SO calculated. Maybe that's what rubbed me the wrong way about it. Anyway, congrats to them! Oh and just so you know, I think the jokes about the baby looking like Jay are mean and unnecessary. Just so you know.

Adele gave a classy and lovely performance. I love that she is so old-school glam. From the hair to the wardrobe, even her nails are just so perfectly 60s soul diva. I love that. Her voice was on point and she showed that you don't have to booty pop or fly through the air to touch people with your performance. She is super amazing, and I love her.

I thought the rest of the performances were pretty good. Standard VMA stuff. Pitbull and NeYo killed it, and brought a lot of energy to the show. Jay Z and Kanye were great, as usual. Chris Brown gave us Cirque du Soleil realness. Lil Wayne was very energetic, to say the least. But I gotta give it up to my girl Jessie J who sang with the house band throughout the show. With a busted leg she still killed it. Her voice is crazy good!

Finally, I want to say how touched I was by the Amy Winehouse tribute. I was in tears, especially when they showed her in the studio with Tony Bennett in March of this year. I loved Russell Brand's speech. I loved Bruno Mars' performance of "Valerie". I thought it was appropriate and sweet. I understand why they didn't have female performers singing her songs - it would have been awkward, I think. Better to let someone like Bruno make it fun and festive, which is what it ended up being. Even though I was crying through the whole performance. I miss her so much.

All in all, it was a great show and I was pleasantly surprised. As you can see, I don't pay much attention to who won, because for me, it's not about that at all. These artists are all winners and the show is more fun if you focus on the performances anyway!

Tweet me @humorandspice and give me your take on the VMAs!!

Deja Jersey/Miami/Jersey All Over Again

Welcome back, friends! Hope everyone had an amazing weekend and that all of my east coast readers are safe and sound.

Jersey Shore was an absolute MESS last night, but in the best way possible. I gotta talk about the "fight" between Ron and Mike. Um, did Mike actually bang his head against the concrete wall on purpose? Yes, yes he did. And then he said it wasn't the first time he's done that? Yup. Wow, Mike's more of a psycho than I thought. I have to say a small piece of me did feel bad for him when he was crying by himself with his neckbrace on. However, Mike, this is important: You cannot expect people to feel sorry for you anymore. You decided to play the "villain" (your words, Mike, not mine), so now you have to be willing to take it when no one wants to be around you, much less nurse you back to health. You may be a nice person outside of the show, but your actions are what landed you where you are. Take a break from being the house jackass, and just be yourself. I bet you'll get a lot more love from your roommates.

And as for the fight itself ... I think confusing is the best word for it. Let's be real. They didn't really fight at all. They wrestled and threw each other around but that was about it. We know Ronnie can throw a punch (remember: "one shot! one shot", anyone?), but something was a little off about this "fight". Maybe they were really intoxicated and just couldn't land any punches?

Now, the whole reason these two went at it, supposedly, is that Sam finally told Ron that Mike spilled the beans about his little "5 girls" comment. Honestly, I think Sam could have said Mike didn't like Ron's new chain and Ron would have snapped. These two just really can't stand each other. Mix in a little Sam drama and you got yourself a recipe for disaster, and head trauma.

Of course, Sam had to make it all about her, even as Mike was being taken away in a friggin' stretcher. If I have to hear Sam wail "STAAAAAAPPPP-uh!!" one more time, I may have head trauma myself. This girl is truly delusional. It's not always about you, Sam! Yes, you essentially caused the "fight", but at a certain point (when someone is on a stretcher going to the hospital, perhaps), it stops being about you.

Sam and Ron continue to argue and Jenni almost falls to her knees begging Sam to leave the room. But Sam cannot let Ron and Jenni be in the same room together, because ... well ... that's right she has no good reason to not let them speak. Sam hated Jenni for the whole anonymous letter mess, and has always been jealous of JWOWW. Let's be honest here, Sammi. If Ronnie wanted Jenni, he would have pursued her and not you. So, grow up and let the adults speak.

Sam then decides it's a great idea to put all of the gifts that Ron bought her on his bed. You know, because she doesn't want them anymore, because they're "done". Ron sees this and throws everything in the garbage. Sam freaks out ("those are diamond earrings") and takes the stuff out of the garbage. Make a decision honey. Either you want the stuff or you don't. And seeing as how there's always a 50/50 chance you're going to give it another try with this dude, you definitely want this stuff. Sam takes the stuff and sulks in her room like the overgrown baby we've all come to see her as.

Sam - I'm going to be real with you. Your approach to men sucks. You have no idea how crazy you're making yourself look. Seriously. Stop with the whining and the complaining and the crazy accusations and jealousy. No man is going to put up with that forever. Not even Ronnie. Every season, I hope you watch yourself and learn something. And every season, you come back and say you've grown up. But you haven't. For the love of spray tan, get a self-help book, get some self-esteem, and get some therapy.

Oh, but the drama's not over, folks! Ron actually buys this girl roses on his way home from the club with the boys (where Pauly D almost got in a fight! What?!). She immediately asks if he brought a girl home. Um ... really??? I can't with this girl. I said it before and I'll say it again. Sam: you are the new Angelina. Someone please help this girl. The episode ends with Sam fishing the roses out of the garbage, since Ron threw them away in disgust.

There was, of course, more going on in this episode, but not much else, to be honest. What were your thoughts on this episode? Tweet me @humorandspice!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Hello, all! I have to apologize for not blogging lately. I think it's the Summertime Blues creeping up on me again.

Well, let me just say that the Basketball Wives Reunion left me cold ... and irritated. Not only was it a total waste of time (except Tami's moments of pure comedy), but it was utterly pointless. I think my biggest problem with it is that it did not need to be 2 hours and it did not need to be split up into 2 episodes. They filled most of it with clips from the show that we've already seen. They also wasted a lot of time talking about things that just weren't that interesting (where Meeka gets her earrings). Really, VH1??? You couldn't actually have the ladies talk about their core issues with each other? I feel bad for John Salley, he tried to ask relevant questions, but some of the ladies thought it would be cool to ice each other out or just ignore the questions completely. Take a lesson from the Real Housewives, ladies! Reunions are MUCH better when you answer the questions that the fans actually want to know the answers to! Royce hardly got any screen time and when she did, she had to speak to Jenn. Ugh. Then we had to re-live all of Meeka's lies. Oy vey. Maybe I'm just over the show. Like I said, Tami was entertaining and gave us some great moments, mostly at Meeka's expense. But I'm ok with that. I guess I just wasn't blown away by this reunion. It was very tame and all the ladies seemed to be holding themselves back, with the exception of Tami. Please, VH1, give Tami her own show! She knows how this entertainment thing works! Anyway, the preview for Basketball Wives LA was way more entertaining than most of the reunion. These ladies are going to bring it.

Needless to say, I was underwhelmed by the reunion and can only hope that season 4 will be as exciting and juicy as season 3. Without Meeka, of course. I'd like to see a lot more of Tami, and I'd like to see Royce bring some of her friends into the show. It could be like two "circles", maybe with some interaction between the two. But I have a feeling Shaunie won't allow that. Speaking of Shaunie, I feel her role on the show should just be producer. She doesn't need to be on tv. She contributes nothing. Unless like she said at the reunion that they're going to bring more positivity to the show. As in showing their charitable works and professional lives. It should be more than just parties and fights. I agree with her on that. Here's what: Shaunie should just be a producer and recruit a couple of really interesting girls to round out the cast. They need to be fun and entertaining. There should be a couple that are loyal to Royce and a couple that are on team Evelyn/Jenn so there's some balance. Oh and you can get rid of Suzie too. Well, she could be on once in a while. Anyway, that's my take on it.

Until next time, honeys! And tweet me @humorandspice and let me know how YOU feel about the BBW reunion!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Dressing Up and Flipping Out

Good Afternoon, all! It's nice and scorching hot outside where I am, how about you? I'm bummed the summer is almost over, though. Still need to go to the beach ... how could I have not found time to go to the friggin' beach yet?!

Dressing Up:

Well, this week's episode of RuPaul's DragU brightened my summer day even more. This week, family members came to get "dragulated". Raven's mom, who is a devout Mormon, came on the show and was nothing but sweet, lovely, and a little sassy. Jujubee's sister was super shy but very cute and friendly, and made an amazing transformation. Manila's sister was bubbly and full of personality, and used that to her advantage in the competition.

What struck me about this episode is the very real family dynamics we got to see. Normally, the drag professors are fun and over the top, doing as much as they can to help their students "draguate" with top honors. This time, there's a very personal and emotional connection, since the queens are essentially schooling their family members in the drag culture. Although each family member is completely accepting of their queen's lifestyle (why else would they be there), there's a deeper understanding that's being gained here. They get to really see their queens at work, in their element, which some of them have never been able to do before.

For example, Raven's mom had never even seen her in drag in person. For her to see Raven all done up with red Bettie Page hair and vixen makeup must have been somewhat of a shock. Even though she's seen pictures, and probably the shows she's been on, it must be a different story in person. I thought she handled it beautifully, but she did ask to call Raven "David", which Raven gladly allowed.

I love the relationship between Jujubee and her sister. You can tell Jujubee is the bigger personality. Her sister is admittedly very shy and reserved, but can't help but giggle and laugh with her older sister. They both have been affected deeply by the passing of their father, and shared a moment in the workroom talking about how much they miss him. Jujubee's sister says she is uncomfortable being confident, but that's all about to change.

Manila also has a great relationship with her sister. But her sister does reveal to RuPaul that they don't spend as much time together anymore, and when they do, it's usually drag-related. Sounds like Manila needs to make more of an effort to just hang out with her sister like they used to. Manila's sister says she wants to show the world that Manila's not the only one in the family with talent.

The guest judge this episode was Shirley Jones, of the Partridge Family and one of my favorites, the original The Parent Trap. She looks amazing, by the way!

This was a really fun episode and there was plenty of shade throwing (all in good fun, of course). I especially loved when Jujubee told Raven's mom that she was going to "pee on her pillow"! LOL! I won't ruin the ending for you but I called the winner halfway through the show. But really, on this show, everyone wins. I love RuPaul's DragU! Watch the episode on, you'll be glad you did.

Flipping Out:

Can I just say: I LOVE JENNI PULOS! Classy, funny, supportive, professional, and super duper ultra patient. This woman is pretty much a saint. Let me explain. Jeff Lewis has a nightmare client named Stacey Farish (a mean, insecure, and catty woman), who has chosen to torture Jenni about pretty much everything from her hair to her clothes to her voice. Now, I understand, some people just don't click. But this bizzle is taking things too far.

First, let's remember that this is the woman who had an unusual, almost fatal-attraction-type affinity for Sarah, who has since been let go from Jeff Lewis' office. She even went as far as to beg Jeff to only bring Sarah to the worksite and to never bring Jenni. Crazy, right? Anyway, now that Sarah and Trace are both gone, Jenni is the full-time assistant, and goes with Jeff to every single project. That doesn't sit well with Miss Stacey.

In fact, Sarah and Stacey still (in this episode) have a relationship. Stacey tells (brags) to Jeff that she helped Sarah with her resume and gave her some interviewing tips. This is not ok with Jeff, since he knows Sarah's a gossip and is probably saying some not-so-great things to Stacey, who is still his client. He tells Stacey that this is inappropriate, and she disagrees. But that's not the best part.

After weeks of watching Stacey rip Jenni a new one in every episode, finally (FINALLY), Jenni gets her revenge. It seems that Jeff was humoring or at least tolerating Stacey's behavior because, let's face it, he does like giving Jenni a little bit of a hard time, and this is a paying client with a potential for more work down the line. But this episode, even Jeff had enough. He told Stacey that she needs to stop with all of the insults toward Jenni and that she is his employee and she's not going anywhere. Jenni was then given the floor where she laid a verbal smackdown on Stacey ending with: "and I don't really like your necklace, now that we're being honest." BOOM! Love it! Stacey apologized and realized she had just been put in her place. Let's hope she remembers to watch it with our girl, Jenni!

However, all is not well for Jeff Lewis, as he has been informed he won't be doing Chaz Dean's New York salon after all. Chaz did ask him to do the VIP room where all press will be done, all celebs will be taken care of, and a lot of other VIP things will take place. Jeff, understandably, wants to do the entire salon, not just one room (even if it is VIP). Jenni tries to convince him that this is a compliment, since it's pretty much the one room that will be publicized out of the whole salon. But Jeff needs more convincing. Namely, the right price. More on that in upcoming episodes.

My girl Zoila is back on full duty after her birthday makeover, and she is not too happy that Jeff keeps talking about her fill-in, Lupe. Zoila is hilarious and I love everything that comes out of her mouth. Who knew she loved jury duty so much, by the way? Now, I would tell you to watch the episode on, but for some reason, the full episode is not up on their site. They do have clips and exclusive unaired videos. But I do know Flipping Out is on Comcast On Demand. Catch this episode!

As always, tweet me @humorandspice and comment below!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Reality Check, Please!

Good Afternoon, friends! I'm so happy to blog about last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey, believe me, I have A LOT to say about it.

First up: Teresa's "Fabulicious" photo shoot. Am I the only one who felt instantly stressed out watching this scene? To borrow a line from Andy Cohen: Here's what. I think Teresa's kids are beyond stressed. You can see the tension on their faces. I can only assume that they must hear/see/feel the tension that's going on with their parents' financial situation. Kids know what's going on, even if it looks like they don't. And even if they don't know the cause of the uncomfortableness, they feel it, and they begin to act out as a result. Exhibit A: Milania. Teresa tries to give a heartfelt thank you speech, but oozes stress. I think she's beyond overwhelmed, and probably barely holding it together. If I were her, I'd drop the feuds and pick up some therapy sessions, and maybe some time away from her husband. He isn't exactly a calming influence, let's just put it that way.

Kathy and Richie have a talk about having "the talk" with their daughter Victoria. Richie seems to think there's plenty of time for that, but Kathy knows better. The time is now, Rich. Victoria is a beautiful girl and guys are going to be lining up to ask her out soon. Come on, you don't want to have to rough them up like you did the perv at the New Year's party, right? Better she talks to her mom and keeps that great communication going.

We then catch up with Chris Manzo, who's bartending in Hoboken. I love that! This is the same kid who wanted to open a strip club/car wash. He's definitely a hard worker and I commend him for doing what he has to do to keep Toy Story on his On Demand. Good guy. I have a couple questions, though. Why is Ashley there? In a bar? When she's 20? Unless it's a bar and grill, she shouldn't be there. Maybe I missed something. Anyway, Ashley's dad and stepmom show up at the bar and surprise Ashley. She looks genuinely happy to see them as opposed to her usual bored reaction to everything. (Please tell me I wasn't like this when I was 20.) Ashley's handsome dad Matt says they need to talk and Ashley says she's worried. Really? Maybe he should show up more often!

Next scene is Melissa talking to her sisters, who look like identical twins. She tells them about the playdate with Teresa and all of Teresa's digs at her. I totally understand Melissa's frustration. The least Teresa can do is TRY to be nice and not insult the person who's obviously trying to make the situation better. Melissa can be annoying, but I don't think she's a mean or bad person. When she speaks to Teresa, you can tell she's thinking before she speaks, which is more than we can say for Teresa, who pretty much blurts out whatever she's thinking. And with Melissa, it's usually rude.

Now we're with Caroline and Lauren talking about weight and self esteem. Lauren seems to think she'll never like her appearance even if she does lose weight. Come on, girl, give yourself a chance! We all have body image issues, but when we stop obsessing and stop comparing ourselves to other people, it's a whole new ball game. Let yourself off the hook and quit putting yourself down. Lauren is a beautiful girl with a personality to match. She needs to see that and be proud of it.

Over at Jacqueline's house, Ashley tells her mom she wants to move to California. I say GO! GO RIGHT NOW! Do you need help packing?! Sorry, I got excited. Ashley (I refuse to spell her name Ashlee since that's not her name and it reminds me of a certain Simpson sister), says she needs to go to California and focus on herself and get away from toxic people. Um, first of all, all she seems to do is focus on herself. And second, who exactly is she calling toxic? She better be talking about her friends because I don't see one person in her family who could be described as "toxic". Especially not Jacqueline.

Kathy and Victoria go prom dress shopping and Kathy takes the opportunity to have a little talk with Victoria. I think it was an appropriate conversation for where they were (in public) and Kathy was very calm and open with her daughter. I love how she interacts with her kids. Victoria was a little shy and embarassed, but that's normal for a 16 year old. She showed her mother respect and love. I love that Victoria says she'll be ok because she has a black belt! That's right, Victoria! Never forget that you are a strong woman and NO means NO. Or else the guy will have to see those karate moves and end up in the ER.

Back at Melissa's, we get to see her record her single "On Display". I'm looking forward to hearing the whole song, because right now I only know the first verse and the chorus. I need to know the rest of the song. Don't ask me why. I just do. The vocals are shaky at first, but Melissa finds her groove and sounds pretty good. I know this is asking for a lot, but could they not autotune her to within an inch of her life on this track? Leave the autotune for Kim Zolciak and Luann De Lessepps, guys. This girl can actually carry a tune.

Lauren, her brothers, Greg, Jacqueline, and Caroline all hit the gym with a hot guido kickboxing instructor, oh my! I could do without the facial hair stylings he has going on, though. Anyway, they all kick some major booty, with the exception of Caroline who doesn't seem to be as into it. I loved the way she barely kicked the punching bag. So funny to see Caroline not give something her all for once. Jacqueline and Lauren were not playing around, though! Good for them. A good workout buddy is hard to find. Not as hard to find? Greg's balls.

And now the moment we've all been waiting for: Ashley's intervention. And of course, she's late. What did you expect? She probably can sense the lectures coming. Her lazy senses are tingling and she has to drag herself out the door with her Hills inspired outfit - all ready for California, I see. Before Ashley makes an appearance, her four loving parents compare notes on her behavior: underage drinking, partying, no job or money of her own, the list goes on and on. Her dad, who I'm now really liking, says she texted him "I'm moving to California, are you going to pay for it or not?" Wow! Really? When the next Heidi Montag finally shows up, she says she wants to go to beauty school. She says she has the money to go to California but no money for the school. Hmmm, sounds like a problem to me. When her parents calmly tell her that that's not a real plan since she hasn't taken into account certain details, she says they're against her and shooting her down. No, honey, they're not shooting you down. This is a reality check. And if you don't like it coming from people who love you, you're really not gonna like it when it comes from people who don't give a crap about you - aka everyone else in the entire world. Her dads both tell her she needs to act like she gives a sh*t, and I totally agree. This girl seems to think she's above it all. And why does she think that, you ask? Per Ashley, because she's 20 and hasn't had a kid yet. Well. Good for you, Ashley. You managed to not get pregnant/not have a child. Where's the medal? Has the parade been scheduled? Please! Get over yourself! Not having a kid doesn't excuse acting like a complete brat and disrespecting your parents! Jacqueline, understandably, went OFF on Ashley and told her to get out of her house. She then leaves the table and goes to what looks like a downstairs hallway to cry. My heart breaks for Jac. She is truly done with this situation. The best thing to do is let Ashley go. Let her make her mistakes and learn the lessons the hard way. It is what it is. One day, hopefully Ashley will ask for forgiveness for all the pain she's caused her family. Upstairs, Ashley is defending herself by putting her mom down. That's not as effective as she would hope, since both dads and her stepmom tell her it doesn't matter how mad she is at her mom, she still has to respect her. Word. Ashley interviews that since her mom chose to "keep" her, she took on the responsibility of raising her, and she shouldn't blame Ashley for any sacrifices she's made for her. Um, I don't think she does. But it's important to understand that our parents did make sacrifices for us because that should make us APPRECIATE and RESPECT them. A concept that Ashley just doesn't understand. Jacqueline crying made me so sad. I hate that she is in so much pain. I only hope Ashley has learned from this and is currently making better choices.

Do yourself a favor and read Jacqueline's blog on called "An Eye Opener". She makes some really great points about her relationship with Ashley and completely OWNS Teresa for some of the comments Tre made in her last blog. You have to read it yourself . You go, Jacqueline! You are 100% right about Teresa and I hope she owns up to everything you referenced in your blog. #teamjacqueline

Tweet me @humorandspice and let me know how YOU feel!!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Tension Times Ten

Well, hello again, readers! I can't get over all of the tension on Basketball Wives and Real Housewives of New Jersey! Let's go ...

First up, Basketball Wives. We gotta talk about the drink toss heard 'round the world. Now, you all know I'm not a Jenn fan, but that was painful to watch. Jeez! Eric was definitely out of line for that, but I will say Jenn started the drink throwing (even if it was behind his back as he walked away). He should have just kept on walking. My assessment is that they're both proud, selfish, immature people, and that conversation wouldn't have ended well no matter what the circumstances were. They need to only speak with a lawyer/mediator present.

I found it interesting that Evelyn said that the drink toss happened before the divorce party, not after, but VH1 switched it around for the show. I think they should have left it chronological, maybe that would have explained Jenn's weird vibe before the party - and also why she felt she needed to "drink up". Speaking of the divorce party, I felt a little uncomfortable with it. Here's why: first off, I've never been divorced (or married for that matter), but it seems to me that a divorce is painful in most cases. I understand having a party to celebrate the beginning of a NEW chapter, but the divorce (as far as we know when the episode was filmed) was not final. So Jenn was celebrating being in the middle of a divorce? I don't know if it was for drama or to make sure her party made it into the show, but the party really shouldn't have even happened until the divorce was final. Also, the visuals were a little creepy. The cake was overkill in my opinion and so was the pinata (although the bump on Eric's cake head was hilarious). It just seemed to be more about bashing (literally) Eric than anything.

Let's talk about Royce's one scene in the finale. I swear VH1 is stupid for not including her in the rest of the finale. This girl speaks the TRUTH! I loved how she actually read Jenn's tweets - Jenn has never done that - to prove who's talking about who on Twitter. Let's see if Jenn gets the hint and brings some actual proof with her to the reunion. Also, did anyone else notice Jenn bring up Royce at dinner with Eric? Again with this? Jenn - no one cares that Royce talked to Eric about his movie project. It's not like they were making out drunk at a party in front of a bunch of people. No, boo boo, that was you. My girl Royce is many things, but shady is not one of them. She says it like she means it, whether you like it or not. I really hope Royce brings it to the reunion, some of these bizzles need to get TOLD.

My other favorite on the show, Tami, was hilarious this episode. I love her when she's happy and laughing. Her facial expressions during the divorce party were great. But, I'm a little sad we didn't see more of her and her daughters on the finale. What happened to their record deal? What's Tami's next career move? On you can see a deleted scene of her entering the radio/DJ/host world. I would have loved to see more of that on the finale.

On to Evelyn and Mr. Ochocinco. I really don't care about their relationship, but it was refreshing to see Evelyn mad at someone other than the ladies on the show. My only question is why didn't she throw a drink? Must not have had one close by. Next time!

Overall, I didn't enjoy the finale very much. It all centered around Jenn, who again, is not my favorite. I wish the finale were more about ALL of the ladies. VH1 should have tied up some loose ends and given us an ending (or cliff-hanger) for all of the cast members. Just my opinion. The reunion is next Monday! Can't wait!

Now, let's dish about the latest episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. Oh my God. I feel like writing an open letter to Teresa right now. You need help! The woman is not only the most self-centered person on Earth, but also the most overly-sensitive and quick-tempered. Not to mention, just plain dense. I swear, every single person who tries to have a conversation with Teresa ends up with the same look on their face. Frustration. Caroline said it best: "It's like talking to a brick wall."

Teresa not only gets mad for every little thing Joe, Melissa, Kathy, and Richie say, but she also twists their words and actions to make herself look like the victim. Teresa needs to watch it, because she's looking really crazy this season. Especially when she makes mean comments in her interviews. Just look at what happened to Jill Zarin, Tre. You wanna end up like her?

Seriously, the arguments between Teresa and Melissa and Teresa and Joe and Teresa and Kathy all come back to the same thing - Teresa doesn't listen. She doesn't listen to what anyone else has to say. She doesn't even listen to herself. She says things like she's all about family and family comes first, but then talks to her family as if they were dogs. I just can't stand it.

Now, Melissa's not really my cup of tea, either. She's got her issues, too. And if Danielle Staub is telling the truth (and we all know how iffy that is), Melissa was contacting Danielle to help her "expose" Teresa. In a way, I kind of understand it, since Melissa and Joe's names were brought up at the last reunion by Danielle. That's when Teresa freaked out and pushed Andy, remember? Ah, we liked you so much more when we didn't know you that well, Teresa. Back then you were funny, now you're just sad. Like I said, this whole Danielle/Melissa conspiracy could be true, I really wouldn't put it past Melissa. She's already got plenty of reasons to want to hurt Teresa and Teresa just adds to the list every time she opens her mouth.

I still love Kathy. I think she's got her head on straight, and unlike Teresa and Melissa, she isn't all about herself. She seems to genuinely care about other people. I loved that she gave Caroline a thank-you basket at the New Years party. I love that! Kathy continues to show that she's the Gorga's Caroline - level-headed, sweet, nurturing, and a little tough. I think Caroline and Kathy will become good friends if they haven't already.

I really felt for Jacqueline in this episode. Ashley's attitude is only getting worse. My question is: how much are Chris and Jacqueline supposed to take? I mean, I understand that Jacqueline raised her alone for the most part, and I'm sure she did the best she could, but damn! When does a parent say enough is enough! I don't have kids, but I know that when it was time for me to leave my parents' house - we all knew it. It was painful and it wasn't under the best circumstances, but I left because I knew it was the best thing for everyone. And now things are a lot better. Ashley should wake up and realize how lucky she is to have parents who do so much for her. Some of us weren't/aren't that lucky, sweetie! Some of us had to drive crappy cars and pay our own insurance and our own repairs and our own gas ... ugh. I can't with this girl. I have to admit she's very talented with her drawings. She really should do something with them, whether it's sell them online or even work with tattoo shops or maybe have someone display them in a gallery. The possibilities are there, she just doesn't see them. And no one can make Ashley grow up. They've been trying for 3 seasons, and so far, nothing has worked. I say, let her go and fall on her face, and then let her pick herself back up. That's how most of us had to do it, am I right?

The New Year's party looked gorgeous. The Brownstone really is a landmark. It looks like everyone had a great time and there was no Kim G! Best New Year's ever! I loved that Chris was telling Ashley she was stupid for wanting to drink. And Richie "bonding" with Joe was a little scary, I'm not gonna lie. But they laughed at the end of it. Not that either one of them were kidding. I'm sure they meant every word, they just played it off like it was all a big joke. Kathy tried to make nice with Teresa again, and Teresa again, shut her down. I say Kathy did her part. Now it's Teresa's turn. I cannot wait for the vacation to the tropics, and my beloved "KOO KOO!" line from Kathy!!!

Let's hope someone is able to get through to Teresa during the trip, although, judging by Sunday's Watch What Happens Live, she's just as deluded as ever.

Oh well.

Tweet me @humorandspice and give me YOUR take on this week's reality shows!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Jersey Shore - En Italia!

Hello, friends! Well, I am still giddy after watching the premiere of Jersey Shore in Italy last night. Let's discuss, shall we?

The show was hilarious! The airport, the traveling, the house in Italy, the whole vibe was really fun and exciting. I'm glad the girls are all getting along and my favorites: Jenni, Snooki, and Deena are in top form. These girls are charming, funny, and just plain entertaining. I'm not a Sammi fan, but she behaved herself in the first episode, and didn't get on my nerves too much. Sammi says she will not be getting back together with Ronnie (and Ronnie says the same), but we all know it's just a matter of time.

My boys Pauly and Vinny were cracking me up as well. These two really make the show fun. With catchphrases galore, they really add a lot to the show. Although Ronnie can be an absolute idiot at times, I think deep down he has a good heart, and as long as he's not caught up in drama, he's a fun, sweet guy. Let's hope he stays away from Sammi long enough to have some laughs with the group. Oh, and not break anything. Wait - he already did! Did you see him break that chair! LOL - by the way, that poor little chair didn't have a chance. That guy is massive.

On to my least favorite of the bunch, Mike. Can we vote this guy off, please? He's now the Angelina of the group. It's obvious no one likes him and no one wants him around. The guy is (please excuse my use of a Jill Zarin word) toxic. Seriously, you can see the BS coming out of his pores. It's disgusting. First, he implies that he and Snooki will be hooking up in Italy, then he comes out and says they did hook up a few months ago. Something just doesn't add up about his story, plus he has a history of exaggerating and stretching the truth, AKA lying. So I don't believe it.

Then, he practically mauls Snooki in the club! Gross! Come on, Sitch! Is this your "game"? Just bear hugging a girl and shoving your tongue in her mouth? You are a mess, and not the hot kind.

This season looks like it's going to be super entertaining. I really hope there are more fun times than fights. However, I am kind of looking forward to Ronnie knocking Mike out. Don't judge me.

I'm not looking forward to Snooki and Jenni getting into an argument in the street. That is going to suck big time.

What did you all think of the first episode in Italy? It's going to be a BLAST! Oh and "I'm a blast in a bra!" was the best line of the night for me!!

Tweet me @humorandspice!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Back to Reality

Hello again! I've been out of town and without my laptop, so please forgive my absence.

So what I'm going to do is just give my quickest assessment possible on all the craziness that went on over the last few days on our favorite reality shows.

I have to start with the Real Housewives of New York Reunion Part 2 - what struck me the most is how truly crazy Kelly is. In a way I almost think she's playing a part, and she thinks it's going to get her more camera time. Her constant incoherent babbling/unfounded insults are beyond annoying. Sometimes I tell myself that if she's on the show next season, I refuse to watch. At least Jill can form sentences, even if they are mean. I'd much rather watch Jill and Ramona fight and bicker than watch Kelly try to spit out some mumbo jumbo about authenticity. And Cindy, bless her heart, she's just not a good fit for this show. Even her drama with Sonja and Ramona is boring. Alex was clearly frustrated and was not going to let the brunettes get away with dismissing her, and I'm proud of her for that. The brunettes continued to try to shut Alex up, but they were unsuccessful. Alex always tells the truth, and she has since season 1. I respect that a lot, and I'm officially Team Alex. I felt for Ramona when they spoke about her husband, but she defended herself with a lot of confidence. Mario is not my favorite person on the show (he comes off as creepy), but the brunettes jumping all over that was just mean. Not that the blondes were nice, by the way! I just wish the brunettes would let go of their superiority complex and get real. Luann and Jill are the original bullies and the viewers know it. Careful ladies, we may not want to see this kind of behavior next season. There's rumblings that some viewers will actually boycott the show all together. Bethenny was brought up again, and Jill says she hopes they can rebuild their friendship one day. I say, don't hold your breath, Jill. Bethenny's doing fine without you, and after watching her on the Housewives and her own show, once she's done with someone, she's DONE.  You did it to yourself, so move on.

Now let's jump into Basketball Wives - Jennifer is a mess. I can't stand her self-righteous attitude this season. Why in the world would she expect Royce to give her a heads up about anything? Even if it does involve Jenn's ex? The truth is Jenn is jealous that Eric is even talking to Royce in the first place. But that's her problem. I don't think the movie is legit, but I do think Royce is smart enough to get out of it when she realizes it's a sham. Evelyn's daughter looks like a sweet and smart girl. I really like her. I wish Evelyn would behave this way more with all of the ladies on the show. When she's around her family, she's actually quite likeable. Unfortunately, I don't feel the same about Chad - ugh - this guy comes off as attention-seeking and desperate. I hope their relationship is real, but something about it does seem very rehearsed. Just my opinion. Tami is still my girl and I love her - smacking people and all - don't judge me. She makes me laugh. Deal with it. Miss Suzie is still a motormouth, and it's gonna get her right back where she was last season - the curb. Some things should not be said, gurl! Calm down, or we'll have to start calling you Meeka Jr.

On to Real Housewives of New Jersey. Teresa is so childish. Melissa and Joe take the time to attend her party but they want to leave early to attend Kathy's party as well. It happens. People have other plans sometimes. She should be grateful they even showed up. Technically, since they're ALL family, they should have all been together. But since Teresa's still angry with Kathy (for no good reason), that's not happening. Teresa honestly needs to take a step back and ask herself who she's really mad at - but I think she's not ready for that. In my opinion, her husband is lazy, not supportive, rude, disrespectful, and just plain obnoxious. If I were Teresa, he'd be gone. Just saying. Caroline and Albert were really sweet this episode, and I was happy to see Alexa Ray Joel on the show. I have heard her music in the past, and I think she's really talented. Hopefully Albie got over his shyness and at least went on a couple dates with her. I'm not surprised Ashley doesn't give her mom gifts for the holidays - why should she? Her presence is enough right? Wrong! What a jerk this girl is - let's hope she's grown up a bit since taping. Jeez, her selfishness is so infuriating. I don't know how Jacqueline puts up with it. Ashley is so lucky to have what she has. It's wasted on someone so immature and ungrateful. Kathy and Richie are amazing. They are my favorites this season. Their family is awesome, and I love their sense of humor. The New Year's party is coming up and I can't wait. Should be very entertaining.

I don't usually watch the Bachelorette, but I caught a little bit of it and of course, she went for the hotter guy. I give it 6 months.

Kathy Griffin was on CBS' new show Same Name, and it was SO funny. She really makes good tv and I really hope she gets a network deal out of this. The premise is that celebrities swap lives with people who have the same name. It was an awesome episode, and Kathy really looked like she was having fun. I wasn't too fond of her name-sharing co-star, but hey, you can't win em all.

I didn't watch Flipping Out last night but I will tonight. I wonder if Sarah got fired!! Aw, cutesies.

Later friends! And don't forget to follow me on twitter!!