Success Smells

So, it's getting down to the wire in Celebrity Apprentice. There's only a handful of contestants left, and it's kind of sad, actually. Just to remind all of you, this is NOT a recap blog. I will be giving you my opinions, plain and simple. I look at each episode and weigh in the entire season, but in NO way will I recap the episode, much less the season. I talk about what stands out to ME. I hate having to put a disclaimer like this on my posts, but some people don't seem to understand where I'm coming from, so I need to explain it.

I was not impressed with Aubrey's display for Trump's cologne. The buildings looked cheap, and the silhouette cutout was way too small. I thought she was going to have Eric stand with his back to her and then have the cutout be the outline of his head and shoulders, which could have worked better. Anyway, one of the only things that I liked about Aubrey's display was the pamphlets and the scent sticks. I also liked that there were little shelves for the cologne to be displayed all up and down the building cutouts. Aubrey did a pretty good job with the presentation, and I think she impressed the executives with her verbal prowess.

Teresa impressed me by running around and painting the display. She really worked hard, and it showed. Arsenio resisted the urge to fight with Aubrey, which was nice for a change.

Clay was too hesitant with his choices, I felt. Penn's ideas weren't bad, necessarily, but Clay should have come up with a better tagline. I loved the picture that Dayana took, which was also Penn's idea. I thought it was a great photo and I thought it was an awesome reflection of the brand and the cologne. It looked like Dayana was smelling her man and loving it. LOL! Lisa was a good sport this week (no meltdowns), even though she did spy on the other team. But she didn't see much other than the skyline in the making. But really, the displays couldn't have been more different.

I was surprised that Aubrey won, but when it came down to it, unfortunately, I could see Penn's firing coming from a mile away. Clay made sure to let Trump know that Penn came up with the tagline that the executives hated so much. And it was just that simple, as it sometimes can be on Celebrity Apprentice. Trump gets fixated on one thing, and that's all it takes.

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Queen of Mean

Last night on Celebrity Apprentice, we got some puppet action, which is always a good time. Again, this is not a recap blog, this is an opinion-based blog. So if I leave things out, it's just because they weren't that interesting. Sorry!

This one is actually going to be a little short, because frankly, this show is getting old. Not because of the people on it, necessarily, but because there aren't that many people left, and the teams are starting to dwindle down to practically nothing.

First, Lisa lived up to her nickname, "Queen of Mean". I like her a lot but I was not happy with Lisa on this episode. She flipped out at Dayana for wanting to be involved, again, and that was wrong. Dayana wanted something to do, and that came across pretty clearly. Lisa took it as Dayana just wanting to be on stage and threw a fit. However, we never know the whole story when it comes to these reality shows, so there may have been more to it. But, from what we saw, Lisa was wrong on this one. Good thing her team won. She did redeem herself somewhat in the end, and stated if they did lose, she would consider going home. She stated she wasn't here to make other people cry, so maybe that was her way of apologizing? I'm just hoping she gives Dayana some slack next week. As for this week's challenge, they did an amazing job, and I have to give Clay a lot of credit. He's my new favorite to win the whole thing.

Teresa showed her range as a performer, which I think we can all agree is minimal. She's clearly not an actress, and I think she would have been better as the host, and Aubrey would have done a better job with the puppet. Paul checked out from the beginning and deserved to be fired.

So, next week, it's all about Trump's fragrance. Yawn. I truly believe the teams should be eliminated and each player fend for themselves. Who's with me?

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Go, Lisa!

Sunday's Celebrity Apprentice was back down to 2 hours (still too long, honestly), but it was actually a really good episode.

I'll keep this blog brief because, frankly, not that much happened.

Lisa was vindicated because Lou totally did nothing important on the task at all. He whined and complained and made suggestions way too late in the game. And what's with his need to always be the star of the show? Stop it! Also, if their commercial starred Lou and Dayana, that story should have been a grandfather and granddaughter, not a romantic couple, please. Lou really needs to work on his approach with people. He has a very off-putting way of presenting his ideas - instead of being helpful it comes across as annoying. So, work on that, Lou. Incidentally, Lisa and Dayana worked very well together and I'm glad to see Lisa be open and honest about her change of heart about Dayana. They're both talented, but they just happen to be talented in different ways and it was nice to see them finally work together instead of against each other.

Aubrey and Arsenio also made peace with each other, which was nice to see. Aubrey finally tried to keep her mouth shut, but she wasn't totally successful. I found it hilarious that Ivanka pointed out that Aubrey chimed in when it wasn't exactly her turn to talk. But at least Aubrey's trying to tone it down a little. Teresa ended up winning the challenge as project manager, but not without squealing and squawking during the whole commercial shoot.

Can we just put all the celebs on one team and have them all fight for the win individually, like when the tribes merge on Survivor? I just want to see Lisa and Clay have a bitchy exchange more than anything I've ever wanted to see ever. Oh and speaking of Lisa, she totally shut Lou down in the boardroom after Lou said he'd throw her through the wall if she was a man. Thank you, Lisa, for putting the Hulk in his place and showing him where to go and how to get there.

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Three Hours!!!

I'm enjoying Celebrity Apprentice as much as the next reality tv obsessed person, but damn, this week's episode almost broke me! Three hours??? What the hell is Trump thinking? The two hour episodes are bonkers enough. No more three hour episodes, Donald. I mean it. 

Not that it wasn't entertaining. The first half was another astonishing failure from the women's team, who don't need hardly any excuse to turn on each other. I loved their guide book and thought it was the better product, as did Regis Philbin, but the boys made more money. Plain and simple. And The Blue Man Group is a bunch of douches for not handing over the cash like normal people. Blowing money in the air in New York City, when it's supposed to be for charity, is a douche move. With that said, Debbie Gibson got her walking papers, courtesy of an enraged Teresa Giudice, for no apparent reason, by the way. But whatever, Lisa Lampanelli's still in it, and that's all I care about. 

The second half was way more interesting. Seeing that the women's team is doomed, Trump switched up the teams. Aubrey and Teresa went to Unanimous, with Paul, Clay, and Arsenio, and Penn, Lou Ferrigno, and Dee Snider went to Forte, with Lisa and Dayana. This brought about some fascinating group dynamics. 

Lisa ends up being the driving force behind the challenge, again, with some strong support from Penn. But Penn has to leave mid-challenge for a performance that couldn't be rescheduled. Dee seems to be on the ball, but his idea for the "box" a kit designed for the Walk with Walgreens campaign falls flat. The presentation, given mostly by Lou, who's the project manager, goes over really well. Penn, just back from his performance and on just a couple hours' sleep, blurts out WalMart instead of Walgreens. Big mistake. Dayana saves it with some comedy (in her crown and bathing suit), but it's not enough to save the team. Dee is sent packing at the end of the show. 

The most explosive moments had nothing to do with who was being fired, surprisingly. It was all about Arsenio vs. Aubrey. Now, Arsenio's been talking smack about Aubrey since day one (or at least that's what it looks like to us, the viewers). So, he has some resentment towards her and of course, doesn't want her on his team. She didn't do herself any favors by being overbearing, whiny, and just plain annoying throughout the challenge. She insisted on doing things her way, even after Arsenio objected. They won the challenge, but Arsenio had enough of her "selfishness" and went off on her in the boardroom. He made some good points, like how she takes credit for things that aren't necessarily all her doing. She cried and pouted and tried to fight back, but ended up looking like a bigger brat than ever. When they won, she went to the elevator instead of back to the war room. 

Here's the deal, Aubrey. You helped create a certain environment in this game, along with Lisa and whoever else was agreeing with you on any given day. The tables have turned. Deal with it. You're on a team with a guy who clearly doesn't respect how you do business. And he's right about you using your sexiness to get what you want. I think you'll even admit that. But you have to know that not everyone is going to be on board with your style all the time. So you have to back off. You have to let other people get a word in. You have to stop trying to control everything. If you're as strong a player as you say you are, you won't quit. You'll stick it out and learn from your mistakes. Now, you've had a lot of bad things to say about almost everyone else in this game. Maybe this is what you need to learn some humility and some compassion. Just saying. 

And Arsenio? Dude. Take a chill pill. It's really not that serious. 

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I'm Torn

This week's Celebrity Apprentice was a real doozy for me. On one hand, I was proud of Aubrey for standing up for herself and saving her ass from getting fired. But on the other, I can see why she's alienated some of her team mates. First of all, I have probably made the same mistakes Aubrey has, which any woman in her 20s makes when she's in a professional environment with people who are all older than her. We pop off, we shoot out a million ideas without being asked, we take it upon ourselves to be ambassador to all things modern and new. But with that, comes a lot of criticism. We are emotional most of the time. We're not seasoned in our field yet. We have passion, but not enough life experience to back that passion up. So, sometimes we make mistakes, but our intentions are always to succeed.

Having said that, Aubrey did a great job as project manager. She didn't sweat the small stuff, she delegated, and she played to each team member's strengths. Unfortunately, the issue with the branding was too big for the sponsors to ignore. Aubrey made sure to make it clear the sponsors' only issue was with the signage, which was Patricia's task and it was clear on the show, she didn't come through with what Aubrey had requested. Now, I've been to the Adam Carolla school of reality tv, so I was skeptical that some of that footage may have been edited out of sequence for the sake of the storyline. But, it all looked legit to me. So I agree with Patricia going home.

Dayana is contributing more to the tasks, but she needs to be project manager next to prove herself, just like Lou did last week.

Now, for the touchiest subject of them all for me: Lisa and Aubrey's alliance. Clique. Friendship. Whatever you want to call it. I like that two strong ladies are working together and getting things done. That's great. However, I've been on both sides of this. I've been part of the railroaders and I've been a railroadee. Being part of the railroaders, you think you're just getting things done and those who aren't on board must be the ones who have the problem, since you're clearly on the right track. When you're the one being railroaded, it's one of the worst experiences ever. The good thing is, Lisa isn't mean, even when she could be. She saves all the mean for her interviews, which aren't mean at all, but they're funny in her insult comic way. Her imitation of Patricia was priceless. I don't even think Patricia should be mad about it because she was hiding her work - or at least it appeared that way. Anyway, I'm on the fence about Lisa and Aubrey because they're not really mean about what they do. They're up front, and Lisa is honest with everyone and super candid in the boardroom. So, Lisa saves it from being a Mean Girls situation for me.

Clay was an awesome project manager too, and I love his quips about the girls - Aubrey in particular. I think those two queens need to go at it immediately. Werk!!

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The Claws are Out!

This week's Celebrity Apprentice was especially catty, thanks to Aubrey O'Day. She really brought the shade this week and she was not afraid to use it. Although I don't agree with everything she said, it was pretty damn funny.

The challenge was to make a viral video for a glorified Swiffer, except it wasn't a Swiffer. These tasks are getting more and more annoying as the show goes on. Let's have some fun ones, like serving lunch at a crowded diner or cleaning hotel rooms! Just kidding. Sort of.

The men's project manager was Lou Ferrigno, and he had to prove himself this week. After complaining about not being used to his full potential, all eyes were on him to hit this one out of the park. Lucky for him, the men won. Penn Jillette was a little hesitant to back up Lou on all of his ideas, but it's just a difference of opinion. I really didn't see him sabotaging or screwing up the task in any way. Clay and Penn had a heart to heart which really went nowhere, but Clay made his point that Penn wasn't being a team player in some instances. But none of that matters because they won.

The ladies were a total mess as usual. This sucks so bad. I hate that these women are self destructing. Here's what went down. Tia volunteered to be project manager, but really didn't make any decisions or come up with any ideas on her own. She had the "group" decide everything together, which really just means one person does all the work and everyone else agrees with it. Lisa took the lion's share of the work on the video and although Tia did a lot with the production, she had no control over the group. Dayana was complaining that she wasn't in the presentation enough, and that set Lisa off on a rant about egos. Lisa's right, but the girls set Dayana up to think she was always going to be the face of all the presentations. She doesn't come up with good ideas, so there's really no other use for her. She can't even order flowers without help. Come on. So they lose the challenge because their concept is just not right for the product, and Tia and Aubrey get into it. Aubrey states Tia can't handle it because she's so much younger than her and is so much better than her. Really?! Wow! Hilarious ... Tia is a graceful swan and tells Trump she wants to take responsibility for the loss as long as he won't fire anyone else. He doesn't and fires Tia. She couldn't be more relieved. All of the people coming off of this show are so happy to be sent home I'm starting to wonder if it could possibly be more of a nightmare than it appears to be on tv.

I really want Lisa to put Aubrey in her place (lovingly, since they're buddies) and tell her to calm down. That would be great.

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No Brainer

This week, Celebrity Apprentice was a total disaster. The teams had to put together a presentation for the new Buick Verano and in my opinion, they both did a pretty good job with the task. But I have a few issues with this episode. Let's begin:

The men's team was lead my one of my favorite people, Adam Carolla. Now, being that Michael Andretti is a race car driver, you would think he would be the project manager. Guess what. He didn't want to be project manager. Fine. Michael basically passed on it because he heard the word "presentation", and decided he doesn't talk so good, so he let the tv and radio personality have a shot at it. Honestly, Adam seemed kind of full of himself and took the leadership role and ran with it. Even when his team disagreed with his "heckler" concept. However, the presentation itself wasn't bad. Adam was funny (he always is) and he knew the car inside and out. Michael stood up there and tried to put words together for a little bit, then was mercifully dismissed. Penn got into the trunk of the car!

Let's talk about the women for a bit, now. Debbie was project manager and as expected, found a way to sing in the presentation. Barf. I loved Aubrey's line about how the audience was going to hear Debbie sing whether they bought a ticket or not. Debbie's an accomplished singer, we get it. I don't know why she wants to ram it down our throats all the time. Not to say Aubrey's any better. She's a fountain of ideas and is quick on her feet, but gurl has major attitude. The women's presentation went along smoothly until the question/answer portion, where Tia couldn't answer the very first question about safety ratings. Lisa was hilarious and Teresa brought Juicy Joe and the kids to be a part of the presentation, which I thought worked well with the overall concept. Debbie's leadership was questioned in the boardroom and Tia and Teresa expressed that Debbie has a tendency to be condescending. You don't say!

Bottom line, the women won and now it was time for Adam to decide who to bring back into the boardroom. Adam said he wouldn't bring anyone back because he was project manager, and he lost the challenge. Trump was not happy, so he fired Adam and Michael, but not before beating the dead horse named "Michael Andretti is a race car driver and this was a car challenge so he should have been project manager". Here's what: Michael isn't presentation-giver! If you have a chance, listen to Adam's podcast from  Monday where he explains how over the show he was at this point and why he decided on the concept for the men's team. Seriously, he got some serious misinformation, still gave a really good presentation, lost and went home for it. But it's reality tv. No one said it would be fair.

Oh My ...

Sunday's Celebrity Apprentice was an Ivanka Extravaganza - basically a big commercial for her apparel/jewelry/shoe/purse line(s). But, score, because her stuff is gorgeous. The assignment: create two different window displays at Lord & Taylor's featuring Ivanka's wares. The women's team was led by Dayana - who couldn't wait to make her project manager debut - and the men picked George, well, because he's gay.

I think Dayana got overwhelmed very quickly, especially when the window space turned out to be smaller than anticipated. She really relied on Debbie and Aubrey to get things done, not to mention Lisa, who was also a huge help. I noticed Teresa and Tia were in the background, but that doesn't mean they weren't working diligently on the task. I realize there's a lot we, the audience, don't see. Wasn't it hilarious when Teresa wanted to be project manager and she essentially got shut down by her team?! Oh and Debbie was DENIED from being one of the models because of her age?! Oh, the shade of it all (Trademark: Latrice Royale). I loved the women's concept in the beginning, and it would have been great if they could have pulled it off. Sadly, there were too many roadblocks to actually get it off the ground. Who knew it was that hard to get some damn photos? But their plan B was a winner, and finally, the women could relax with their first win of the season. Let's keep this going, ladies!

The men's team was a hot mess. Their display was dull, the clothes weren't used to their full potential, and the only redeeming thing about it was the signage. Other than that, it looked exactly like a bunch of guys putting together a window display for a women's line. I'm not saying they COULDN'T have done a great job, there was just a lot that was left undone. They could have done so much more with their space. I was so disappointed in Adam because he didn't want to really run things by George as the project manager, and we all know why. Everyone thought he wasn't the best manager, but no one would really come out and say it, except Lou. I think the guys need to use Lou more, because ... you won't like him when he's angry. Sorry, I couldn't resist. But seriously. Lou has good ideas, he's just not being heard. Ironic, no? I was happy to see Trump acknowledge that Arsenio messed up on the wardrobe choices and Clay's performance was subpar. Ultimately, George just wasn't as strong of a leader as he should have been.

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Bad Cop

You should know, I am a Bethenny fan. I bought her books and I watch her show. That does not mean that I think she's perfect or that she's right all the time. By the way, neither does she. She'll be the first to say when she messes up or overreacts. Which just makes her more likable. So, the second season of Bethenny Ever After aired this week (her very first spin off was Bethenny Getting Married? which was only one season), and the episode pretty much prepared viewers for a roller coaster season. Like giant, Travel channel special episode, freak me out and give me nightmares type of roller coaster. Let me explain.

In this episode, Bethenny is still working hard on her empire, Skinnygirl, which includes cocktails, fitness dvds, books, cleanses, and most recently a skincare line. Not to mention, trying to buy a new apartment, raising a baby, and going through the ups and downs of the second year of marriage. On the Skinnygirl front, it's go, go, go. Not a moment's rest at all. If it's not a Sangria launch, it's a Health Magazine photo shoot. Brynn is gorgeous and really well behaved, at least from what we saw in the first episode. She is really adorable. And Jason is a typical husband - supportive, loving, and wants more sex.

Bethenny is still the same person we met on the Real Housewives of New York, just more mature, more focused, and a lot more stressed. She's worried about being a good wife and mother. She's worried about her business. She's worried about everything. I'm so glad they're still showing us the therapy sessions. I love them. I think they show real insight into what's going on with Bethenny in a different - and maybe more personal - way than the rest of the show. I think Bethenny uses humor, like a lot of us do, as an armor of sorts, a way to appear stronger than we really are. I think a lot of women out there are just as worried that they're the "bad cop" in the relationship. And no one likes the bad cop.

But, overall, things are going well. Bethenny's got great friends, like one of my all time favorite ladies, Lisa Lampanelli. Their lunch together was one of the funniest scenes ever. And if you don't know Lisa, please do not be offended by her salty humor. She's an insult comic! Google her! And quit being so sensitive. Bethenny also has a great team behind her, Julie, her Coordinator of Chaos, and also, Veronica, a makeup artist and nanny, Jackie the intern, Maggie the intern, Nick the food blogger (hilarious), and Gina the baby nurse (who didn't appear on the first episode but will be on the show, can't wait! Love her!). I'm sure I'm forgetting someone here. Suffice it to say the team is growing just as quickly as the business is.

Some are annoyed with Bethenny's take on fame and celebrity. I see it as someone finally being honest about what it's like being famous. Which is a totally different thing than being successful or rich. Plenty of rich people aren't famous, and vice versa. Bethenny is letting us in on how invasive it can be to live this life - paparazzi, lawsuits, there are two big downsides right there. Also, the toll it takes on your relationship. We're going to see big fights between Jason and Bethenny this season according to previews.

I can't wait to watch the rest of this season. Bethenny, love her or hate her, is an inspiration. She made her dreams come true. But no one ever said it was going to be a fairytale.

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Celebrity Apprentice Cast Announced

The official list of cast members on this season's Celebrity Apprentice was released today, and there are a few potential firecrackers that I'm really excited about.

We all know that Victoria Gotti and Teresa Giudice get into it, since Ms. Gotti pretty much spilled the tea on the Wendy Williams show late last year.

Here are the rest:

Adam Carolla: He honestly just makes everything better. I love how he ridicules celebrities right to their faces, and since they're celebrities, they have no idea what to do about it. I'll never forget when Adam was on Watch What Happens Live with Jill Zarin and he completely annihilated her, and it was spectacular.

Lisa Lampanelli: A killer comic with a razor sharp wit and more dirty jokes than you can even imagine, and one of my all time favorite funny ladies. She is actually a very nice person, so I don't think she'll get into fights with anyone, but her one liners alone are enough for me.

George Takei: Legendary actor from Star Trek. He is going to be hilarious on this show. He's got a really good sense of humor and he's used to working with divas (ahem, William Shatner).

Clay Aiken: Please tell me he's going to go toe to toe with George Takei at some point. That's just good tv. But seriously, I'm expecting a lot of attitude from the Clayster and I'll be disappointed if I don't get it. Gurl.

Tia Carrere: We always think we're done with this girl, but she keeps popping up randomly for no reason. I predict that she'll be gone within the first three episodes. Nothing against her, but she's not a very interesting person. UNLESS, she brings the crazy. Then, all bets are off. Because there's no crazy like pretty girl crazy.

Michael Andretti: I know he was a race car driver. Meh.

Debbie Gibson: Super annoying! She's so hellbent on being a superstar again that she's just grating. She'll definitely get into some screaming matches. I'm surprised she didn't bring her bestie Tiffany with her.

Lou Ferrigno: I love this man. He's the best. I don't see him winning, but he'll be the nice, gentle giant with the positive attitude that everyone will throw under the bus to save themselves. But don't make him angry.

Dayana Mendoza: Former Miss Universe, so she better be crazy. Or else you know she'll be fired on the first episode.

Penn Jillette: Extremely smart magician guy. I can see him winning. He's really charming, not a pushover, and he'll have no problem defending himself in the boardroom.

Aubrey O'Day: We know this one is crazy, so I predict her nemesis will be Debbie or Tia and her BFFs will be Clay and Dayana.

Dee Snider: Really irritating, super egotistical, so that means he's just like The Donald with a ponytail. I know he's an intelligent man, but just not the kind of guy you want to be stuck on the same team with.

Cheryl Tiegs: An iconic, classy lady. She doesn't stand a chance.

Paul Teutul, Sr.: This guy is hilarious - I just want him to start yelling at his teammates like he used to yell at his kids (who happened to not talk to him anymore) on the OCC show. Oh, and I want him and Lou Ferrigno to arm wrestle.

Patricia Velasquez: Venezuelan model/actress, so I'm obligated to root for her, since my mother believes we're related to all Venezuelans (and Puerto Ricans).

Who are you rooting for? Tweet me!