Thursday, March 15, 2012

Body Made Wrong!

RuPaul's Drag Race always lifts my spirits and makes me laugh, but this week, I was LOL'ing like there was no tomorrow, hunty! My favorite of favorites, the Reading mini-challenge. Now, I recently watched Paris is Burning, the legendary documentary about all things drag, and let me tell you, I finally get most of RuPaul's references! Not all, but most. You have to watch it if you haven't yet, you can stream it on Netflix.

Now, let's get into that Reading mini-challenge, yes? Because READING IS FUNDAMENTAL! And funny! The winner was clearly Latrice, who annihilated the competition with lines like, "B.M.W. Body. Made. Wrong!", "Two words: Sideshow Freak", and "by the hairs of your chinny, chin, chin." That was some good reading right there. The other girls had bright spots too. I loved Chad's reading, especially her giving Jiggly her dentist's business card. Willam was funny - Phi Phi does "snag" the camera from a certain angle! And speaking of Phi Phi, you know, her, you know, reading was, you know, not good. Jiggly had some zingers, including her Forever 41 line (which she's said before just FYI) and telling Willam her face is marble, sh*t don't move. Dida's read on Jiggly being with child was cute, I thought. My girl Sharon hit it on the head when she said Jiggly smokes HAMS after sex! LOL! That mini-challenge gave me all kinds of life. Latrice, as the winner, doled out the magazine titles for the girls' main challenge. They have to design a cover for their magazine, complete with article headlines and a gorgeous cover photo of themselves.

The library is OPEN!

Chad: Your cover photo wasn't quite "Eleganza". I imagined a Vogue-type concept, but you wanted to show the judges you could be more raw and not always polished. You accomplished that. You had me laughing in the mini-challenge, and I loved your runway look. You always turn the party. Chad's grade for the week: B.

Dida: You had a hard time with your magazine, entitled "Tastes Like Chicken". You went literal with it, which wasn't a bad choice, but it wasn't a winner, either. I think you should have gone a totally different route. It should have been everything BUT chicken, but at the end of the day, it all "Tastes Like Chicken". You could have even gone a little dirty with it. But, I commend you for sticking to your guns and seeing it through your way. Your runway dress was fabulous, but you do need to work on your proportions. Give us body! Not just those luscious legs! We want it all! Your heart to heart with Jiggly on Untucked was really emotional. You were right to be honest with her and give her some tough love. You're a good friend. Dida's grade for the week: C.

Jiggly: I don't know if you forgot, but you're in a competition. Yes, some of the girls are friendly with you, but damn, you can't expect them to tell you how to win! Chad was the only one who was real with you about your magazine, and instead of listening to her, you chose to take Phi Phi's advice. Oy. Your humor is your sword, sweetie! I hope you've grown from the competition and gotten more confidence in yourself. The whining days are over and this is the beginning of the rest of your life. Now, sashay away. Jiggly's grade for the week: D.

Latrice: Condragulations on winning the mini-challenge! You were huh-larious. I loved every second of it. I don't care why you gave the magazine titles out the way you did. Who cares. It's a competition. Unfortunately, your cover wasn't really gossip rag, but I think at a certain point you forgot all about the magazine and just enjoyed your time with the pit crew. Oh well! Your runway dress was pretty and I liked the jewelry. I don't know where Santino got Rent-A-Center from. And your bracelet breaking was so not the business. You had an off night, but you're still in it to win it. Please, please make sure you call Santino a balding bitch next time he says something you don't like! That would make my year. Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Phi Phi: Shady, shady! I thought you were being nice from now on! Gurl, you put your shady ways to work for you when you convinced your "friend" Jiggly to go the serious route with her magazine. I hope you're proud of yourself because you won the main challenge! So, on one hand, good for you, on the other, I don't think you really want to win that way. Your runway look was cute and I think you're hitting your stride with the judges. Phi Phi's grade for the week: C.

Sharon: I love your sense of humor and you really went for it with your cat magazine. It was so funny. I loved your runway look, too. It was like Michelle Visage and you had a love child who became a Vegas stripper. I friggin' loved it. Your reading was so much fun, too. I truly enjoyed you this week! I do agree with the judges, I'd like to see your real eyes (no contacts) on the runway at least once. And thanks for owning up to the fart on stage. LOL! Sharon's grade for the week: A.

Willam: The interior design magazine should have been a home run for you but you decided that "sex sells." I think you should have been a Martha Stewart type and made it a real parody instead of an excuse to get naked. Anywhoo, you had to lipsynch for your life, and of course, you showed your ass. Really. Like we saw your ass cheeks again. I hope you start to take the judges' advice and paint your face better and go above and beyond in challenges. Show us why you're a big tv star! Willam's grade for the week: C.

Regina King and Pam Tillis were the guest judges. I love me some Regina King, with those beautiful braids! I was living for her. She seemed to have a lot of fun with the queens. Pam was a little quieter but her song for the lipsynch brought me back to the 90s and watching that music video on tv when I was little. Michelle's hair this week was ah-mazing in this sculptured updo. She looked gorgeous. Santino was his usual biting self. And RuPaul's runway look was a prom dress for the ages - perfection.