Go, Lisa!

Sunday's Celebrity Apprentice was back down to 2 hours (still too long, honestly), but it was actually a really good episode.

I'll keep this blog brief because, frankly, not that much happened.

Lisa was vindicated because Lou totally did nothing important on the task at all. He whined and complained and made suggestions way too late in the game. And what's with his need to always be the star of the show? Stop it! Also, if their commercial starred Lou and Dayana, that story should have been a grandfather and granddaughter, not a romantic couple, please. Lou really needs to work on his approach with people. He has a very off-putting way of presenting his ideas - instead of being helpful it comes across as annoying. So, work on that, Lou. Incidentally, Lisa and Dayana worked very well together and I'm glad to see Lisa be open and honest about her change of heart about Dayana. They're both talented, but they just happen to be talented in different ways and it was nice to see them finally work together instead of against each other.

Aubrey and Arsenio also made peace with each other, which was nice to see. Aubrey finally tried to keep her mouth shut, but she wasn't totally successful. I found it hilarious that Ivanka pointed out that Aubrey chimed in when it wasn't exactly her turn to talk. But at least Aubrey's trying to tone it down a little. Teresa ended up winning the challenge as project manager, but not without squealing and squawking during the whole commercial shoot.

Can we just put all the celebs on one team and have them all fight for the win individually, like when the tribes merge on Survivor? I just want to see Lisa and Clay have a bitchy exchange more than anything I've ever wanted to see ever. Oh and speaking of Lisa, she totally shut Lou down in the boardroom after Lou said he'd throw her through the wall if she was a man. Thank you, Lisa, for putting the Hulk in his place and showing him where to go and how to get there.

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Three Hours!!!

I'm enjoying Celebrity Apprentice as much as the next reality tv obsessed person, but damn, this week's episode almost broke me! Three hours??? What the hell is Trump thinking? The two hour episodes are bonkers enough. No more three hour episodes, Donald. I mean it. 

Not that it wasn't entertaining. The first half was another astonishing failure from the women's team, who don't need hardly any excuse to turn on each other. I loved their guide book and thought it was the better product, as did Regis Philbin, but the boys made more money. Plain and simple. And The Blue Man Group is a bunch of douches for not handing over the cash like normal people. Blowing money in the air in New York City, when it's supposed to be for charity, is a douche move. With that said, Debbie Gibson got her walking papers, courtesy of an enraged Teresa Giudice, for no apparent reason, by the way. But whatever, Lisa Lampanelli's still in it, and that's all I care about. 

The second half was way more interesting. Seeing that the women's team is doomed, Trump switched up the teams. Aubrey and Teresa went to Unanimous, with Paul, Clay, and Arsenio, and Penn, Lou Ferrigno, and Dee Snider went to Forte, with Lisa and Dayana. This brought about some fascinating group dynamics. 

Lisa ends up being the driving force behind the challenge, again, with some strong support from Penn. But Penn has to leave mid-challenge for a performance that couldn't be rescheduled. Dee seems to be on the ball, but his idea for the "box" a kit designed for the Walk with Walgreens campaign falls flat. The presentation, given mostly by Lou, who's the project manager, goes over really well. Penn, just back from his performance and on just a couple hours' sleep, blurts out WalMart instead of Walgreens. Big mistake. Dayana saves it with some comedy (in her crown and bathing suit), but it's not enough to save the team. Dee is sent packing at the end of the show. 

The most explosive moments had nothing to do with who was being fired, surprisingly. It was all about Arsenio vs. Aubrey. Now, Arsenio's been talking smack about Aubrey since day one (or at least that's what it looks like to us, the viewers). So, he has some resentment towards her and of course, doesn't want her on his team. She didn't do herself any favors by being overbearing, whiny, and just plain annoying throughout the challenge. She insisted on doing things her way, even after Arsenio objected. They won the challenge, but Arsenio had enough of her "selfishness" and went off on her in the boardroom. He made some good points, like how she takes credit for things that aren't necessarily all her doing. She cried and pouted and tried to fight back, but ended up looking like a bigger brat than ever. When they won, she went to the elevator instead of back to the war room. 

Here's the deal, Aubrey. You helped create a certain environment in this game, along with Lisa and whoever else was agreeing with you on any given day. The tables have turned. Deal with it. You're on a team with a guy who clearly doesn't respect how you do business. And he's right about you using your sexiness to get what you want. I think you'll even admit that. But you have to know that not everyone is going to be on board with your style all the time. So you have to back off. You have to let other people get a word in. You have to stop trying to control everything. If you're as strong a player as you say you are, you won't quit. You'll stick it out and learn from your mistakes. Now, you've had a lot of bad things to say about almost everyone else in this game. Maybe this is what you need to learn some humility and some compassion. Just saying. 

And Arsenio? Dude. Take a chill pill. It's really not that serious. 

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The Claws are Out!

This week's Celebrity Apprentice was especially catty, thanks to Aubrey O'Day. She really brought the shade this week and she was not afraid to use it. Although I don't agree with everything she said, it was pretty damn funny.

The challenge was to make a viral video for a glorified Swiffer, except it wasn't a Swiffer. These tasks are getting more and more annoying as the show goes on. Let's have some fun ones, like serving lunch at a crowded diner or cleaning hotel rooms! Just kidding. Sort of.

The men's project manager was Lou Ferrigno, and he had to prove himself this week. After complaining about not being used to his full potential, all eyes were on him to hit this one out of the park. Lucky for him, the men won. Penn Jillette was a little hesitant to back up Lou on all of his ideas, but it's just a difference of opinion. I really didn't see him sabotaging or screwing up the task in any way. Clay and Penn had a heart to heart which really went nowhere, but Clay made his point that Penn wasn't being a team player in some instances. But none of that matters because they won.

The ladies were a total mess as usual. This sucks so bad. I hate that these women are self destructing. Here's what went down. Tia volunteered to be project manager, but really didn't make any decisions or come up with any ideas on her own. She had the "group" decide everything together, which really just means one person does all the work and everyone else agrees with it. Lisa took the lion's share of the work on the video and although Tia did a lot with the production, she had no control over the group. Dayana was complaining that she wasn't in the presentation enough, and that set Lisa off on a rant about egos. Lisa's right, but the girls set Dayana up to think she was always going to be the face of all the presentations. She doesn't come up with good ideas, so there's really no other use for her. She can't even order flowers without help. Come on. So they lose the challenge because their concept is just not right for the product, and Tia and Aubrey get into it. Aubrey states Tia can't handle it because she's so much younger than her and is so much better than her. Really?! Wow! Hilarious ... Tia is a graceful swan and tells Trump she wants to take responsibility for the loss as long as he won't fire anyone else. He doesn't and fires Tia. She couldn't be more relieved. All of the people coming off of this show are so happy to be sent home I'm starting to wonder if it could possibly be more of a nightmare than it appears to be on tv.

I really want Lisa to put Aubrey in her place (lovingly, since they're buddies) and tell her to calm down. That would be great.

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Celebrity Apprentice Cast Announced

The official list of cast members on this season's Celebrity Apprentice was released today, and there are a few potential firecrackers that I'm really excited about.

We all know that Victoria Gotti and Teresa Giudice get into it, since Ms. Gotti pretty much spilled the tea on the Wendy Williams show late last year.

Here are the rest:

Adam Carolla: He honestly just makes everything better. I love how he ridicules celebrities right to their faces, and since they're celebrities, they have no idea what to do about it. I'll never forget when Adam was on Watch What Happens Live with Jill Zarin and he completely annihilated her, and it was spectacular.

Lisa Lampanelli: A killer comic with a razor sharp wit and more dirty jokes than you can even imagine, and one of my all time favorite funny ladies. She is actually a very nice person, so I don't think she'll get into fights with anyone, but her one liners alone are enough for me.

George Takei: Legendary actor from Star Trek. He is going to be hilarious on this show. He's got a really good sense of humor and he's used to working with divas (ahem, William Shatner).

Clay Aiken: Please tell me he's going to go toe to toe with George Takei at some point. That's just good tv. But seriously, I'm expecting a lot of attitude from the Clayster and I'll be disappointed if I don't get it. Gurl.

Tia Carrere: We always think we're done with this girl, but she keeps popping up randomly for no reason. I predict that she'll be gone within the first three episodes. Nothing against her, but she's not a very interesting person. UNLESS, she brings the crazy. Then, all bets are off. Because there's no crazy like pretty girl crazy.

Michael Andretti: I know he was a race car driver. Meh.

Debbie Gibson: Super annoying! She's so hellbent on being a superstar again that she's just grating. She'll definitely get into some screaming matches. I'm surprised she didn't bring her bestie Tiffany with her.

Lou Ferrigno: I love this man. He's the best. I don't see him winning, but he'll be the nice, gentle giant with the positive attitude that everyone will throw under the bus to save themselves. But don't make him angry.

Dayana Mendoza: Former Miss Universe, so she better be crazy. Or else you know she'll be fired on the first episode.

Penn Jillette: Extremely smart magician guy. I can see him winning. He's really charming, not a pushover, and he'll have no problem defending himself in the boardroom.

Aubrey O'Day: We know this one is crazy, so I predict her nemesis will be Debbie or Tia and her BFFs will be Clay and Dayana.

Dee Snider: Really irritating, super egotistical, so that means he's just like The Donald with a ponytail. I know he's an intelligent man, but just not the kind of guy you want to be stuck on the same team with.

Cheryl Tiegs: An iconic, classy lady. She doesn't stand a chance.

Paul Teutul, Sr.: This guy is hilarious - I just want him to start yelling at his teammates like he used to yell at his kids (who happened to not talk to him anymore) on the OCC show. Oh, and I want him and Lou Ferrigno to arm wrestle.

Patricia Velasquez: Venezuelan model/actress, so I'm obligated to root for her, since my mother believes we're related to all Venezuelans (and Puerto Ricans).

Who are you rooting for? Tweet me!