Friday, November 30, 2012

Deactivating Facebook

Flipping Out Season Finale

Lindsay Lohan

Patti Stanger, Halle Berry, Kenya Moore

Teen Mom 2 Jenelle and Barbara

RHOM - Fake Apology

Well, kids, I couldn't sleep last night, so I actually watched RHOM at like 2 am, which was actually kinda nice for some odd reason. I definitely want to slap myself for staying up so late, but hey, it is what it is. This week was a little off for me in regards to the Miami ladies. They weren't really giving me much to work with but their mothers made up for it. So we'll deal with the moms and then the key players in this episode. Sorry to those I omit, but them's the rules now.

Elsa (Marysol's Mother): Um, you have some explaining to do. I love you, but you calling PRESIDENT OBAMA an "animal" is ... just ... SO WRONG. What the hell do you mean by that? You know what? I don't even want to know. SO disappointed in you. Elsa's grade: F (I'm so mad at her right now).

Lenny's Mother (didn't catch her name): You made a not so great impression, let's be honest. You were bitchy to Lisa (which, by the way, do you KNOW what she's been through with the miscarriages and all???) And then you say you're "not sure about Obama" ... I don't like you. Lenny's mom's grade: F (not cool - that's all I'm gonna say).

Joanna's Mother (again, forgot her name and I'm too lazy to try to find it): I LOVE YOU! You seem like a super nice lady and you told Joanna the truth about herself and gave her awesome advice. I hope she listens to you. I loved that you opted out of the political conversation. Can you join the cast permanently? Joanna's mom's grade: A+ (she is my new favorite HW Mom).

Frederic's Mother (sorry ...): You are classy, elegant ... perfection. In vintage Dior, no less. Frederic's mom's grade: A+ (another new favorite).

Now let's address the ladies:

Adriana: I think we got to see a different side of you this week, at least a different side as far as this season is concerned. I'm glad you are working on your trust issues. Frederic does seem like a really good guy. I wasn't sure about him at first, but I think he's definitely in it for the long run. But you have to get over the stuff that's holding you back. So, take care of that ASAP. The 50th Anniversary party was awesome. I loved it. The Brazilian band and you dancing in costume at the end was hilarious. You looked really happy and that made me feel happy for you. Keep this happy vibe going! Adriana's grade for the week: A (she's making progress).

Karent: I felt sorry for you on this episode because Rodolfo is clearly not that into you. It's sad because you're not a bad person or a bad girlfriend, for that matter. You're just not seeing what's right in front of you. He doesn't want to have children with you, hun. I'm sorry but that's what it is. We know you're no longer with him, so I'm glad you're not still in that relationship. However, for the purposes of this blog, I have to judge based on what we saw. Karent's grade for the week: D (for being so clueless).

Lisa: I can't imagine how frustrating it is when you're constantly being pressured to have a child when you've already had such a hard time with that whole situation. I really felt for you with your mother in law. But, you were respectful (but you did let her know you noticed she didn't tell you she loved you) and you had a beautiful seder for your friends and family. I really like you and I thought your toast was cute. Lisa's grade for the week: A (I feel for her).

Marysol: I think you've been caught in a lie, my dear. Not that James doesn't lie, either, because he clearly does. But I think between you, James, and Lisa Pliner, we'll never get the real story about what happened. If Lisa didn't want to pay James, she should have told James that. You should have never said a word because you knew it would get back to James somehow. So, lesson learned. If you don't want it coming back to you, keep your mouth shut about James. I thought it was nice that you had James/Elaine over to your office to talk about things and apologize, until you revealed that you didn't even know what you were apologizing for. It just makes you look two-faced. Marysol's grade for the week: D (I didn't like her fake apology).

Ana: I just have two questions and two statements for you. Why does your ex have his laundry done at your house? Why do you feel like you need to comment on your ex's appearance? If I were your ex's girlfriend, I'd be afraid to meet you, too (no shade). And I just want to say I really like your daughters. But seriously, cut the cord from your ex and move on. This isn't healthy. Ana's grade for the week: C (I get it, moving on is hard, but this was just annoying this week).

That's it for this week, Lea doesn't get a grade but she does get a side-eye from me about her "Latin Time" comment.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

RuPaul's All Star Drag Race Finale - Hall of FAMAAAH!!!

We've come to the end of the road for Drag Race All Stars, and it was bittersweet for me. There'll be no grades this week, because these ladies are all winners. The Hall of Fame is a great prize, not to mention the money and the MAC and the trip. But, this All Stars season was really a gift to the audience, I think. We love these queens so much and we're so passionate about this show, and to be able to see some of our favorites compete again was a wonderful prize for all of us. I hope another All Stars season is coming soon (after Season 5 and Drag U, of course).

The finale challenge was hilarious, from beginning to end. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time. And Delta Work and Ongina as the drivers was GENIUS! The interview portion was really fun to watch, except when Jujubee kept getting interrupted. Don't feel bad, gurl, that happens to me all the time. Then, the Hamburger Mary's speech - they all did such a good job! And that burger looked deeelish! Then, my most favoritest part of all, the Comedy Store. You may not know this, but I did stand up for a little while not that long ago, and I can tell you from experience, it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. So, I was totally sympathetic to the ladies' jitters before doing their stand up sets. But they all did great and got a lot of laughs.

I have to give Michelle Visage some love, her reactions were everything! She was so focused on everything the gurls were saying - and I could see exactly what she was going to critique them about just by her facial expressions.

And RuPaul's laugh at the Comedy Store GAVE ME LIFE!!!

Cheri Oteri was a great comedy coach. I love her so much! She is one of my favorite SNL ladies :-), and Beth Ditto is so fun and such a delight. What a great pair of guest judges for the finale!

Of course, the winner is Chad, and I'm happy about that. She really shined this season - she dominated challenges and her looks were always on point. I'm sad that Raven didn't win but the truth is, she didn't win a lot of challenges and she just couldn't go above and beyond for whatever reason.

Jujubee didn't take the crown, but I'm sure she is the fan-favorite this season. Her personality and wit makes her such a joy to watch.

Shannel opened up and let us see some of the pain that drives her. That moment when she said she finally realized she was good enough brought tears to my eyes.

All in all, it was a great season, and Chad, the most deserving queen, won the first Hall of Fame spot. But I think there's room on that wall for a few more queens. Jujubee, Raven, and Shannel are all winners and will always be associated with the very first All Stars Drag Race, kinda like a Royal Court of fabulous queens, Drag Race Royalty, if you will.

What did you think of the finale? Tweet me!

RHOBH - Oh Hi, Ojai!

I hate these kinds of episodes, because you know they're just ramping up the the real drama that's gonna happen next week. It's all the setting up before the big party, you know? Anyway, Monday's RHOBH was a lot of prep work, not so much pay off. I mean, we did get the rest of Adrienne and Lisa's talk, which was good and we got the drama at dinner at the end. But it was a whole lot of filler in between. And these ladies know about filler. But, let's get to it. And from now on, I'm only addressing the key players in the episodes, so if someone isn't mentioned, they didn't make the cut. 

Let's grade these HW's!

Kim: This trip to Ojai was totally your idea, which is great, because in other seasons you were very anti-social. So, seeing you get everyone together was very refreshing to watch. You were an awesome hostess and you kept it together even when some of the girls were bitching about the bedroom situation. You looked calm and happy. I'm really happy for you. The moments with you and Brandi talking at dinner were really touching. You recognized that even though she's not your favorite person, you had to make an effort, and you did. When you two really came together in this totally genuine private moment, you got emotional, which is totally natural. Kim's grade for the week: A (I like her a lot and I think she's come a long way).

Kyle: You kind of got slammed by Lisa at dinner for imitating her. Here's what. It probably got old, and she told you so in her way. I don't know what it is about you and Lisa this season, but there's definitely a change. You being in the middle of the whole Adrienne/Lisa thing isn't working. And I have to point out that you do an awful lot of commenting about Lisa to Adrienne and the other ladies. Not sure what that's about. Why did you feel like you had to speculate about how Lisa felt about sharing a room with Brandi? I do agree with you about Brandi telling Adrienne to shut the f*ck up at dinner. You're right, she should have said something else. Kyle's grade for the week: C (I'm not sure why she feels like she has to imitate Lisa (or mock her) and then crack jokes about her, it's making her look like a crappy friend).

Brandi: Congratulations on the book, but that title is no bueno. I think you could come up with something much better. And unless your book is about cancer, you shouldn't put the word "cancer" in the title. That's just my opinion. I do like the idea of the book, though. You're telling us how you got through all the mistakes and ups and downs in your life; and I'll probably read it just because I do like how you tell it like it is. No matter the words you choose, you do tell it like it is. I loved your photo shoot for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine - you looked gorgeous, thumb wrinkle and all! But seriously, you can't be so hard on yourself when it comes to your looks. I really appreciated how sincere you were with Kim at dinner on the trip and I think you two were genuinely bonding at that table. When Kim got emotional, it was real. So, I understand why you were upset when Adrienne announced it to everyone. I don't agree with the way you said it, but you were almost protecting Kim in a way. You knew what Adrienne was doing by pointing out that Kim was crying and you weren't having it. Brandi's grade for the week: B (she says it like she means it, but I wish she could choose her words more wisely!).

Lisa: I loved that you thanked Adrienne for the flowers during your sit down. I just think you're super classy, and again, you can adopt me whenever you want. I get your humor. So when you say that you didn't mean to make Adrienne that nervous or refer to the whole "hoof" thing, I know you're making light of the bullsh*t because it's so ridiculous, how can you not make fun of it? But some people will take offense to it and say that you're mean. I think you can see the humor in those incidents and laugh them off. Your conversation with Adrienne was a success for you because you got the apology you wanted (finally). And I don't blame you for not wanting to be BFF with her again, or for keeping your distance. You accepted the apology and that's that. It helps you two be civil with each other, that's all. The trust was broken and it's probably never going to be repaired. But at least you're not at war - for now. I like your friendship with Brandi and the way you encourage her. It was so generous and nice of you to have her pose for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine - such a sweet gesture on your part. Now, as for the trip to Ojai - you did look perturbed about the roommate situation. And you are a little bit of a diva, that's why we love you! At dinner, you snapped at Kyle, which I wasn't really expecting. But when I stopped to think about it, I would be irritated by the whole accent thing too after a while. Lisa's grade for the week: A (she has her guard up with certain people, but I don't blame her, and she seems genuine to me).

Adrienne: I applaud you for apologizing to Lisa. You knew it was the right thing to do and you did it. I don't think you really meant it, though, because you had to remind us that Lisa didn't apologize to you. She didn't apologize because she didn't spread a vicious rumor about you, she made some stupid jokes that you took way too seriously. Unless I'm wrong, in which case, please correct me. And then in Ojai, you had to make a point of saying you're getting a "better bedroom" than Lisa. Petty, petty, petty. Do you hear Lisa talking about you like that? No, because she's an adult. Why are you constantly trying to prove how much better than Lisa you are? Let's talk about the dinner. You see Kim crying and immediately announce it to the group. Why? What were you really trying to accomplish by doing that? Were you trying to imply that Brandi must have done something wrong to make her cry? But you weren't counting on Brandi actually being on Kim's side and telling you to shut the f*ck up. So you ended up looking stupid. Because you inserted yourself into a conversation that had nothing to do with you and you made it awkward for everyone. It's time for you to focus on yourself and why you feel like you need to tattle on Brandi and one-up Lisa - because it's not about them, it's about what's going on with you. Adrienne's grade for the week: D (she is looking so childish right now).

Taylor: You say Brandi is toxic because you never know what she's going to say or do. Pot, meet kettle. Taylor's grade for the week: F (you better check yourself before you wreck yourself, gurl).

Camille: Give it a rest about Frasier Crane's privates, already! (No grade, I just wanted to tell her that!)

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RHOA - Lies and Complaints

Sunday's Real Housewives of Atlanta was not the best episode this season, by far. The best episode will be this coming up Sunday when Kim quits the show. Hallelujah!!! I will be praise dancing all up and down my living room for sure! But until then, let's talk about this pretty tame episode. It wasn't really that juicy at all. Phaedra's son's birthday party and her alleged butt dial conversation, Kim moving (how long does it really take to move? She's been moving since the first episode this season!), and Kenya's boyfriend meets her family. Nothing major here. So from now on, I'm only going to grade the key players in each episode. If you don't get a grade, that means you weren't on the show that week or your role was not relevant to what happened in the episode.

So, here we go.

Kim: Seriously, how long does it take to pack up a house? Even a huge house like that one? You had help! Anyway, you continued to have a sh*tty attitude which was then mirrored back to you by everyone in that house. I will leave that there, you can read into it what you will. You went back to your townhouse, which is perfectly fine for your family, by the way, and everything seems like it will be ok. But no. Where will you tan? Ummm, are you f*cking kidding me? I am just going to say again, I can't wait for you to leave this show. You contribute nothing, you complain constantly, and you're not one bit grateful for what you have. If you were, you wouldn't have that stank look on your face all the time. No one cares that you didn't go to Ayden's party because all you would have done there is complain anyway. Kim's grade for the week: F (I don't find her funny or charming, and she gets on every single one of my nerves).

Kandi: You are 100% right about Kim. She didn't move out quietly and do things like a grown, mature, adult woman, because she's NOT. But, I totally agree with you about that whole situation. I can see that Kim's comments about your house bothered you, so I say tell her to her face that you didn't like what she said. Put her in her place! Moving on, I think you could have had your mom live in the little guest house on your property, but if she has her own place and she's comfortable, that may not be necessary right now. I think if she ever needed to live with you, you would make sure that happened, but that's just my take on it. As for Ayden's party, it was hilarious when you said Phaedra's events are like marathons. Apparently! But hey, you showed up and I'm sure she appreciated it. Kandi's grade for the week: B (she needs to tell Kim how she feels).

Phaedra: Let's cut to the chase. You're a liar. When someone confronts you and you dodge the issue and change the subject? Ding ding ding! You've been caught, hun! If you would have just said, "Yes, Cynthia, I said that when I was in the middle of planning this party, and I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry", this whole thing would have been over. Just like when you refused to come clean about how far along you were in the pregnancy. Everybody knows when you're caught, you're caught. Making a fool out of yourself to get out of telling the truth is just stupid. I can't really understand why you went through so much foolishness just to avoid being real with Cynthia. Phaedra's grade for the week: F (she couldn't take responsibility for what she said, no matter what the reason for saying it, she should have just owned it).

Kenya: We get it. You want to get married. It just seems to me that if you have to do this much convincing, the guy may just not be that into you. Relax! I think you're used to bulldozing over people to get what you want and it's time to stop. Just be the best person you can be and let things happen. You're trying to force everything and it comes across as controlling and overbearing. Not a good look. Dropping hints is not gonna make a man propose any faster. Again, if you have to do this much work, is he really the one for you? Just saying. And I don't even care that you didn't cook that meal. No judgment on that from me. Lest I be judged. Kenya's grade for the week: D (she is forcing things to happen instead of letting them happen and I think that's a huge mistake).

Cynthia: The fury on your face when you heard Phaedra say that she didn't give a f*ck if you came to the party was priceless. I liked the fact that you confronted her about it and even told her you could play the message for her. Now, I don't know where that message came from, but for whatever reason (cough cough producers cough cough), you got a hold of it. And you sat Phaedra down and asked her point blank why she said it. Because you ladies were cool with each other. So it does seem odd that she would say that. I think you handled yourself well on this one. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (she went straight to Phaedra with her concerns, even though she got an absolutely idiotic response).

Nene: Your comedy this episode was on point, from the facial expressions to the jokes, I was LIVING. Nene-haters be damned, you are funny. Of course you had to show Cynthia the message from Phaedra (cough cough producers cough cough), so you did your job. Hey, if this is your last season, you might as well facilitate the drama and stand on the sidelines and watch with the rest of us. Nene's grade for the week: A (for bringing the comedy, I loved it).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

RHOBH - Let the Professionals Perform, Dammit!

I may need a Xanax after watching last night's RHOBH. I mean, the level of immaturity we're seeing this season is already blowing my mind. Just a quick couple of observations: People need to keep other people's names out of their mouths because it only reflects badly on them, more on this later. And don't always insist on being the center of attention, it's annoying. Yolanda threw a great dinner party at her luxurious home and although her husband was definitely a diva, I would gladly sit there and shut up if they ever invited me over, because it was essentially an ultra-exclusive concert. I'm in!

Let's get into the grades so I can read some of these ladies properly.

Yolanda: Your house is amazing. The fact that you designed it speaks to your excellent sense of style. I had asked Lisa to adopt me before, but you can adopt me, too and you two can share custody of me. Now that that's settled, let's talk about the party itself. You went to great lengths to prepare the house for your guests and it showed. I totally understand what kind of parties you throw (not that I've ever attended anything as fabulous, but I get it). You're giving your guests dinner and a show. They're just expected to enjoy it. Not to participate. I think your husband should have been a little more gentle with his delivery of that message. You have professional musicians performing, so anyone with half a brain would sit back and enjoy it and not insist on joining in. As far as David's "homemaker" comment, I think I understand what he was saying - maybe the majority of the women he knows and deals with don't spend the time to host things at their home and take care of most of the details, like we saw you do on this episode. I wasn't mad at that comment at all. I think you were a great hostess in spite of some of your guests' attitudes. Yolanda's grade for the week: A (because I think she's an elegant and sophisticated person who puts a lot of effort into whatever she's doing).

Kyle: I was so glad to see you get the hint when David stopped you from singing at the party. No tea, no shade, but it was best if you didn't. I liked that you hit it off with David and had such a great time at the party. You didn't let not being the center of attention bother you. That's what adults do, they surrender the spotlight when needed. Kyle's grade for the week: B (because she behaved herself at the party).

Kim: You impressed me this week. Of course, you're still quirky, but quirky is good. You had fun at the party and there were no cringey moments from you. I appreciate that. The whole prom scene was fun and sweet. But who was all that food for? LOL! Kim's grade for the week: A (because I see the actual Kim now, and she's pretty cool).

Adrienne: Can I just tell you my theory? Real quick? I think you and Paul were already having problems, so teaming up against Lisa was sort of a mask for those issues. I can't think of any other reason why you and Paul constantly bring her up and rattle of the list of what she's done to you. Actually, it's more Paul than you actually saying it, but you get my point. Paul was so pissed that Lisa ignored him at Yolanda's but then turns around and tells Kyle he's ignoring her? What the f*ck? It just seems like you and Paul are the ones who aren't letting this go. I get that some of Lisa's comments hurt you but you two have to grow up. This is getting ridiculous. The best thing for you would be to forget it and move on. But you both insist on staying mad. I'm glad you asked Lisa to meet up with you to work things out and I cannot wait to see what happens in next week's episode. Adrienne's grade for the week: C (because I think she's still too concerned with Lisa even though Paul is doing all the sh*t talking).

Lisa: I think you're right to keep your distance from Adrienne, because you already know that you will not be able to resume a friendship with her without an apology. Like I said before, I can't wait to see how you two handle each other in next week's episode. But you know, that comment about the meeting being as short as Adrienne is didn't go over well. You did walk away from Paul and Adrienne when they entered the party, but after that, you were polite enough. Maybe it would have been better to say hello, but I have a feeling no matter what you do, they will complain. At the party, you also had the good sense to not insist on singing. It was nice to see you laughing and joking with everyone. Lisa's grade for the week: B (because she was civil, which is all an adult needs to be with other adults).

Taylor: Um, I am embarrassed to say this, but I just heard your intro line and ... what the f*ck were you thinking saying that sh*t? You worked hard for that zip code? Ugh ... I can't with you. Let's just talk about the episode. First, you need to cool it with the booze. Like, now. Yolanda is totally right, drunk women are unattractive. You brought up Brandi - for God knows what reason because she wasn't there and no one was talking about her. It was unnecessary and juvenile. Then, you get all offended because David told you not to sing. No shade, but shade, yeah don't. Because, in all honesty, you were a guest to their party and they give parties differently than you do. Yes, David was rude about it. But you got overly offended. Your problem wasn't that he told you not to sing. Your problem was that he was taking the attention off of you and putting it on the professionals. You could not stand to not be the center of attention. And that's the real T. To make matters worse, you pouted and bitched during the remainder of the party. Here's a thought, there's the door. You don't like this party? See yourself out. I mean, how ungrateful can you be? Because you weren't allowed to sing? You're a mess. Taylor's grade for the week: F (for being such an attention-whore that she would rather sing instead of enjoy the exclusive concert right in front of her).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

RuPaul's All Star Drag Race & Untucked - Final FOUR!

I am LIVING over last night's Drag Race and Untucked!! OMG! Can we just talk about the lipsync for one second? Jujubee and Raven lost their sh*t before the song even started. It was so sad! I couldn't believe they didn't win the challenge. I loved all the gurls' looks, but I honestly thought Team Shad would lose and Shannel would go home. Good thing they don't pay me to make predictions.

Let's talk about the challenge a little bit. No grades this week because, really, these ladies are werking their asses off, and they're all 10s in my book. Now, the challenge was for each team to become a supervillain/superhero duo. But first, that mini challenge had me in stitches. That was hilarious. Kudos to whoever thought of that one. I was dying laughing. Back to the main challenge. The queens did a look for their characters in their version of day wear and in their characters' official comic book costume. They also had to perform choreography for a theme song "Good vs. Evil". Shannel was the villain for her team, and she really had fun with it on the runway. Her day wear look was this beautiful one sleeved gown and classic Shannel hair. The costume look was her S&M inspired look that we've seen before, complete with face mask. She rocked it out! Chad was the hero and both of her looks were great. She wore this beautiful red chiffon number with a long scarf which served as a sort of mini cape, while her costume look was a really cool bustier with a full cape, all in reds and yellows. Jujubee killed the day wear look, but her costume look was read for filth because of its simplicity. It was a white body suit with silver accents and bright red long hair with bangs. I thought she looked amazing! But, there was no cape, no belt, etc. I thought she looked like Scarlett Johansen in The Avengers, only more fierce. So, for me, her costume look was a winner. Raven blew me away with her costume look. It was this amazing black cloak with a blonde wig and clear plastic face mask that just took it to a whole other level. Her day look was this super cute summer dress with Mariah-esque hair and loads of body.

To me, they all rocked the challenge. But, one team had to win and it was Shad. I think the judges liked their version of comic book characters because they were so over the top. Raven and Jujubee had great looks, but maybe they were more subdued than what the judges were wanting. Although, Michelle Visage showed Rujubee a lot of love, and she was totally on point with what she said about them. They were totally Marvel-like. Santino, of course, had his two cents and that's no surprise. I honestly don't see Jujubee ever wearing that body suit to a club, though, for real. Wendi McLendon-Covey was awesome as a guest judge and her critiques were on point. Elvira was very adamant in her opinions and she was definitely going for Shad to win it.

Then the lipsync happened and I think we all held our breath. How in the world was this going to work out for anyone? I couldn't believe what was happening and as the lipsync ended, Raven hadn't moved from her mark the whole time and Jujubee was clearly distraught. Even Chad and Shannel were visibly upset. Not a dry eye at the judges' table. RuPaul, in her infinite wisdom, and perfect Catwoman-inspired regalness, uttered the words we all wanted to hear: "You both stay." That moment was one of the most perfect moments in Drag Race herstory.

F*ck it, it's a top four! Now, the question is, now that it's individual, who's your pick? For me it's a toss up between Raven and Chad.

On Untucked, Jujubee lost her shit due to stress and I was so relieved to see that it was just a brief outburst and not a full-on fight. Now, some of the viewers may be upset that Jujubee was commenting on Shannel's obvious kissing-up to Elvira. I say, let her kiss up. RuPaul makes the final decision in the end. And the Puerto Rican queens got a huge shout out! HOLLA!!! Chuletas, YAAASSSS, b*tch!!

I am so looking forward to the finale next Monday night. We'll have our All Stars Hall of FAM-AAAAHHHH!!!!!

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

RHOA - Introducing Porsha

Sunday's RHOA put me in two very different, very opposite moods. On one hand, I was in heaven while watching the New York scenes. In a couple of weeks, it'll be a year since I was there, and I miss it so much. I have never lived there, always just visited, but my heart has always belonged to New York. If you're interested in the backstory, let me know. On the other hand, some of these ladies make me want to take a sledgehammer to my poor old television. Why must some people always find a way to ruin everything?

Let's get to the grades, kids!

Nene: It is so cute to watch Greg try to win you back!! He wants those keys, dammit!! I don't know why, but it doesn't gross me out to see him woo you. I'm not sure why, and I'm not going to apologize for it. Watching you in New York was awesome - not because of you though, no offense. Just New York in general. You know you will probably never take the subway, but Cynthia is right, when you're in New York it's just something you have to experience. At least once! You were being a little snooty in the subway at first but then you met some fans, and I'll be honest. I thought you were going to be short with them. But you weren't! You were friendly and kind and really sweet to them. I guess us Twitter people aren't so bad after all? I'm so happy for all your success, and I think the success has changed you - but for the better. You're in a good place and it shows. You aren't bitter or mean or jealous and I am happy about that. Nene's grade for the week: B (for being happy and busy with her career).

Kim: I've been done with you, but you're still on the show so I have to address you. I am sorry you have to move out of your place and back into the townhouse. Maybe you shouldn't have spent money on landscaping for a house that wasn't yours yet. I'm very glad Kroy taught you how to use the fire extinguisher, he's a good man. Kim's grade for the week: F (because it's nothing but complain, complain, complain with her).

Kandi: We didn't see much of you this week, but I'm so excited to see how your house will look when you're all moved in. Your family members seem so nice and fun to be around. Kandi's grade for the week: N/A.

Phaedra: I would advise you to make Kenya sign all kinds of contracts before you commit to working with her production company. I don't trust her and neither should you. Phaedra's grade for the week: C (because she is not seeing the crazy in Kenya yet and she needs to).

Cynthia: I love love LOVE your enthusiasm about New York. You were a great tour guide and the perfect person to take Nene to see the real New York. And that hot dog looked delicious! I'm so glad you were there with Nene. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (because she was so positive and bubbly this week).

Porsha: Welcome to the madness! I hope you're ready! You did come off as a ditzy girl, but in my book, you redeemed yourself by the end of the episode. You seem like a nice girl who enjoys life and maybe isn't too deep, but is a genuinely good person. I'm not mad at that. You have a great backstory, a lovely family, and you seem really happy with your life. I don't think you're malicious or mean at all. And that's why I know it was an honest mistake when you called Kenya Miss America. You weren't being shady. Your charity event was very nice, from what I saw, but then again, I don't know anything about charity galas. So, I may not be the best critic on that. What I do know is behavior. And you handled Kenya so well. I was standing up applauding you. You didn't need more than one episode to figure out that she's a mess, so you put your foot down right then and there. And that "search engine" line? I was LIVING!!! I like you! Porsha's grade for the week: A (because despite her ditziness, she spotted Kenya's crazy and shut that sh*t DOWN!).

Kenya: You need to get off this show. This show isn't going to be any good for you. What you need is to continue therapy and get yourself together. I am so sorry your mother is suffering from mental illness, and I'm especially sorry that you suffered any kind of pain because of that. But you have to recognize that you are not mentally stable. You said you were hell on wheels before, but what do you think you are now? You fly off the handle for a simple mistake like Porsha saying you were Miss America? It was an honest mistake, and yes, she looked dumb for not saying the right title. You don't have to make it worse by being rude about it. When Porsha's husband came to the charity event with her gift and cake, your face told the story. You're jealous. You're bitter. You're not well. You created a whole scenario in your mind to be angry about and then you acted on it. You left the event and called Porsha names. I cannot condone you being on this show. Unless you go to therapy and show us that you're working on becoming emotionally stable. Kenya's grade for the week: F (because I will not condone her being on this show in her mental state).

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RHOM - Speak Your Mind, Accept the Response

Ok, so with RHOM back on Thursdays (this is getting confusing), it has taken me a minute to post this blog, so my apologies right up front. This episode was pretty funny, if you find confrontation funny, which (duh) I do. We got to see Thomas' house, which incidentally, we've seen before on RHOA and Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. So that was interesting! Elaine confronted Marysol, Thomas confronted Joanna, Ana, and Elsa, and Ana and Lea both confronted Marysol. Am I forgetting anyone? Probably. The point is this group is falling apart. And I can only hope the ladies can figure out who is really on their side and who isn't in time for the reunion. This season is flying by, and we'll be watching them go at it with Andy in no time. I gotta shout out Mama Elsa. Her shade towards Thomas' party was hilarious - after she was booted out, of course. It cracks me up that people can supposedly be friends for 30 years and then throw each other out of their homes because of some petty bullsh*t. Is that how friendship works in Miami?

Here come the grades:

Ana: I can understand why people will say that you were disrespectful to Thomas - because he asked you to be quiet and you weren't. And I actually get it, it's his home. But I think you were right on the money when you said people kiss Thomas' ass because he's rich. He said some pretty disgusting things, and everyone kind of just went along with it. You decided not to, you said so, and you left. I see nothing wrong with what you did, it just happened to occur after you had already had dinner and drinks! Hey, timing is everything, right? But seriously, you stood up for yourself and left willingly. No one had to throw you out. As far as Marysol, you're 100% right. Unfortunately, she is either not willing or not able to have your back the way you had hers. And that's a tough lesson to learn, but at least you learned it now. I am curious to know what you meant by Marysol's "dirty work". Could it be talking sh*t about people, or something more damaging? By the way, I don't really mind that you called your ex to pick you up. I think at this point, you were still very attached to him, so it's not a surprise to me that you would call him in that moment. Ana's grade for the week: B+ (because even though she got flack for it, she stuck to her convictions).

Marysol: This week was not great for you, let's be honest. You spent a lot of it talking sh*t about people and then being confronted for talking sh*t about people. I think you do speak your mind when asked, or when you're in a group where gossiping is happening. We all do it. People talk and you participate. It's not a crime. But, you have to back up what you say and own it. That's where you run into trouble. I have no doubt that you told Lisa Pilner something negative about Elaine and she ran and told her about it. That's what usually happens! So, when Elaine confronted you, all you had to do was say, "Yes, I said it. I was stating my opinion." And leave it at that. You can't run away from it anymore, Marysol. Do I think you were trying to get Elaine fired? No, but it made you look somewhat guilty when you wouldn't even admit that you were bad-mouthing him. I mean, we saw you do it. So, just own it. Believe me, it's the best thing you could ever do for yourself. Now, we have to talk about Ana. You did sort of sit there and let her get yelled at by Thomas - and you sat there and let him yell at your mom, too - but that doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad friend. It just means you didn't want to get involved. I get it. However, it hurt Ana's feelings and you have to take responsibility for that. Marysol's grade for the week: D (because she needs to own what she says and learn to reciprocate when friends defend her constantly).

Karent: You are a bit of a brown-noser, but maybe that's just your way of being friendly. In any case, it's annoying. You were all over Thomas, which got old real fast. But what I really want to talk to you about is when you had to (again) blab to Joanna about the joke Adriana made about flirting with Romain. Why do you feel you need to tell Joanna that? Adriana was not serious! It was a joke! And what did you accomplish with telling Joanna? Nothing. Sometimes, you have to discern what is important, and what isn't. And that joke Adriana made was not important. It wasn't important or relevant until you brought it up to Joanna. So, you essentially caused tension for no reason. There are certain times where you really need to just shut the f*ck up and keep it moving. Karent's grade for the week: D (for coming across as a tattle-tale kiss-ass, it's not a good look).

Joanna: I just want to know where you get all these figure skating outfits from, and why on Earth do you wear them to parties? Just saying. Save 'em for the ice, hunty. All kidding aside, you were very sweet to invite ALL of the ladies on vacation with you. That was a nice gesture. I just hope you don't drink on the trip (of course you're going to drink on the trip). I think you were actually right to be offended by what Thomas said about Romain leaving the dinner party. And really, Thomas is a sh*tty host for asking you if Romain was cheating on you. That is so out of line. So, for once, I really agreed with you getting angry about that. After almost blowing up at him, you decided to be the bigger person and not leave the party after all. I think you may have been intimidated by Thomas. He straight up yelled at you. If I were you, I would have just left. Thomas needs to realize that not everyone is going to think his "jokes" are funny. And yes, you were in his home, but that doesn't mean you have to take his inappropriate comments. You should have left with Ana like you were going to in the first place. And you are absolutely right, Karent was laughing at everything Thomas was saying. So, keep that in mind next time you want to jump in and defend her. Joanna's grade for the week: C (because she controlled her anger but I wish she would have left the party with Ana for solidarity's sake).

Lisa: Like I said before, I get the whole "it's his house, Thomas can say whatever he wants" theory. But, everyone has a right to their feelings and opinions, and if you don't take offense to what Thomas says, great. If someone else does, they have the right to say so and leave. That's exactly what Ana did and what Joanna almost did. I don't really care why you or your husband didn't get offended, because that's not my business. You getting on top of the table was a pretty creative way of diffusing the tension, so I'll give you credit for that. Lisa's grade for the week: B- (because she found a way to keep the party going, good for her).

Adriana: According to you, Thomas is misunderstood. You really weren't a big part of the drama (for once), so I applaud you for respecting your host and not getting involved in the fights. I can't wait to see the boat when it's finished. Adriana's grade for the week: A (because I want her to stay positive and not fight with anyone).

Lea: I love that you and Elsa get along. I think that's awesome. You and Marysol, on the other hand, well, that may be a little bit more difficult. I think you probably should have refrained from talking about the whole Elaine thing at Thomas' dinner. After the fights erupted and Thomas blew his stack, you admitted that Thomas overreacted. You definitely have no problem speaking your mind, and I appreciate that. You told Marysol exactly what you thought without any hesitation. I just wish she would listen and have a decent conversation with you about the issues between the two of you. And maybe don't defend James/Elaine so much - sounds like he's not the most reliable source of information. Lea's grade for the week: A (because she says what she means and means what she says).

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Thursday, November 15, 2012

RHOBH - It's Not Always About YOU

Monday's episode of RHOBH was actually very tame, and I don't mean that in a bad way, by any means. Tame is good sometimes! There was plenty of talking behind people's backs which will definitely affect future episodes. Paul and Mauricio walked at a domestic violence event as a favor to Taylor, which was super fun to watch. Portia's birthday party was a success, and Kyle did a great job putting it together. Of course, there was static between some of the ladies, but they had the decency to not let it get out of control. But I gotta admit, I can't wait to see what happens when Adrienne and Lisa meet up next week.

But the shade of the week goes to Bravo for telling us (via caption) who Dana was ("Taylor's friend") when she showed up to Portia's party! LOL! I got my life from that! If they did the same for Camille, let me know, because I probably missed it from laughing so hard.

It's report card time!

Yolanda: Your daughter is gorgeous! I mean, wow. I think you are a little bit of a stage mom, even though you try to control it. But you are gonna get backlash for the "Chinese eyes" comments. I know you were describing the shape of the eye makeup, but it was not the best choice of words. You will learn that the hard way. It was nice of you to send Portia a birthday gift, by the way. Yolanda's grade for the week: C (because she has to learn to not use some of those phrases anymore).

Taylor: Every time I want to like you, you make me mad. You really didn't have to sit there at Portia's party and tell Adrienne and Kim about Brandi's joke at the Villa Blanca party about sleeping with everyone in Beverly Hills. I'll give you a pass for not saying hi to Brandi when you clearly saw her sitting there, but come on. As soon as she leaves, you're talking sh*t. I don't care if you like her or not. A kid's birthday party wasn't the place for you to talk about some third-hand-gossip. And correct me if I'm wrong, but was your speech slurred at Portia's party? Mmmm hmmm. Taylor's grade for the week: D (for being stank for absolutely no reason).

Kyle: You did an awesome job with Portia's party and I have to commend you for not participating in the sh*t talking. You were totally right to try to get Brandi to stay and enjoy the party. I can see why you would want the ladies to be able to be civil and take steps toward resolving their issues. Especially, because the party was a neutral place. But, you can't force people, either. I was happy to see you and Kim getting along! I think when you sit back and relax and let people do their own thing, you're free to give your opinion without looking pushy. Kyle's grade for the week: B (because she was a great hostess, and she stopped pushing the ladies to make up just in time to not look controlling).

Brandi: It was nice of you to go to Portia's party. I think Kyle really appreciated that. And I think it was a smart move to try to stick it out even though Taylor made you feel uncomfortable. I wish you would have ignored it and had a good time instead of leaving early, though. I know why you left, don't get me wrong. And I really appreciate the fact that you didn't start any nonsense at the party. Brandi's grade for the week: B (because she did her best to be friendly, and when she got annoyed, she took herself out of the situation instead of letting it get worse).

Kim: You showed up to Portia's party, which was really nice. But I would have gotten so annoyed with all the boyfriend questions. You handled it nicely. And you do look really good. I'm proud of you. Kim's grade for the week: A (because I definitely see improvement!).

Camille: I was so happy to see you on this week's show! I think you were a very positive presence at Portia's party and you got along with everyone. But you were a little heavy on the questions with Kim. Kick back! Anyway, I hope we see you again on the show soon. Camille's grade for the week: B (because she is fun overall).

Lisa: I LOVED your outfit at Portia's party!!! Those green sunglasses were everything! And the llama scene was hilarious. You are so lucky that llama didn't tinkle in Kyle's house. I believe you did have a meeting to go to, and even if you didn't, it's no one's business. I just happen to think that you were telling the truth. But we don't know and really, it doesn't matter. You showed up for Portia and that's all that matters. Lisa's grade for the week: A (because she was delightful this week).

Adrienne: I need for you to tell Paul to get off of Lisa's jock! Well, you can't anymore, but I'll say it. Paul, get off Lisa's jock! Seriously. Paul was asking about Lisa more than anyone else. Am I the only one that sees a problem with this? Anyway, Adrienne, I really think you need to stop taking everything Lisa does or doesn't do so personally. Lisa doesn't want to speak to you because she's over you. It's not that serious. And the fact that Kyle doesn't want to get involved doesn't mean she's protecting Lisa. It means she doesn't want to get involved. Period. And Lisa wasn't at the party because she wasn't at the party. It's not always about you. It's not high school of Lisa to not be there, it's high school of you to think that she's not there because of you. Self-obsessed much? It is not always about you. You need to stop. Adrienne's grade for the week: D (because she is doing way too much with this Lisa thing).

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RHOM - So Familiar

Ok, so I just watched Sunday night's episode of RHOM, so it's fresh in my mind. Wow. This episode was a lot to take in, but I am officially hooked. Nice job, ladies. So, before I forget anything (who am I kidding? I always forget something), let's give out some grades.

Joanna: Listen to Romain!!! Stop drinking!! That was the best advice you could have ever received, and I hope you took it to heart. Although, by the looks of Alexia's dinner and your appearance on Watch What Happens Live, not so much. What a shame. Back to the episode, I think it was good for you and Adriana to shake hands and apologize, but it would have been much better if you both would have been sincere about it. You still feel you did nothing wrong, but by your own admission, you don't remember what you did/said. Again, no more alcohol for you. You kept saying you don't fight but if you did, you would hit Adriana. Just saying that is enough to start another fight! If you could just listen to other people without getting so upset, you may be able to understand where they're coming from. Marysol was talking to Karent, and once again, you had to insert yourself. Karent can defend herself. You really need to stop butting in to conversations that have nothing to do with you. Not surprisingly, I'm still not a big fan of yours. Joanna's grade for Sunday: D (I'll give her credit for showing up to Alexia's and apologizing, but her heart wasn't in it).

Adriana: It was nice to see you show up for Lea and Leroy, and I loved the hat, by the way. I'm glad you and Lea are so close. It's a sweet friendship. What's not so sweet is how you behaved at Alexia's. I like you a lot (I keep saying that because I want you to know that this is coming from a good place), but damn. You need to quit with the sh*t talking. Now, I love shade and reading and all that, but when your friend Alexia puts together a summit dinner to resolve the issues between you ladies, making snide remarks is not what you should be doing. It doesn't matter that Joanna came in a cocktail dress or whatever. You need to keep those thoughts to yourself at that point. Then, you both apologized (and neither of you meant it), but that didn't stop you from leaving in a huff. I gotta call you out on that. Why couldn't you have just cooled off for a moment and stayed for Alexia's sake? I feel that you will never forgive Joanna and no matter what happens, you will continue to bash her. And I can't condone that. I don't even like the girl, but you have to let it go and quit talking sh*t about her. You're keeping that bad blood flowing and it's only going to hurt you in the long run. Adriana's grade for Sunday: D (because she was too busy talking sh*t to really resolve anything).

Lea: I'm so sorry about Leroy. I respect your decision to not bring any additional dogs into the house. I think the pain of losing Leroy was enough to where you never want to feel that again. I don't blame you at all. I think you were great at Alexia's dinner. You were trying to get them to talk like adults but they had already gone too far off track. Lea's grade for Sunday: A (because she showed up to Alexia's dinner and tried to help the ladies communicate).

Alexia: When I watch you on the show, it's weird because I feel like I know you. I've been around Caribbean women all my life so I know every nuance, every gesture, every facial expression. And you were fed the f*ck up with Joanna. And I would have been, too. I think you had great intentions with this dinner, but unfortunately, when people get heated, there's no telling what can happen. It would have been great if there was some real communication happening. But you can't force people to listen to each other. Alexia's grade for Sunday: C (she had a great idea, but when it didn't go so well, she let her frustration get the better of her).

Marysol: I was so happy when you brought up the article, and I thought you were going to have a real conversation with Karent. Apparently not! I wish you could have let her finish speaking, and maybe then you both would have gotten some closure and this issue could have been put to bed. And, I have to read you for talking sh*t with Adriana. Not cool! For Alexia's sake, you both should have just kept it cute and put it on mute (shout out to Trina Braxton). Marysol's grade for Sunday: D (because she messed up at Alexia's dinner).

Lisa: I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I can't even imagine how painful that must be - not only in the moment when you're going through it, but the aftermath as well. And I'm sure you telling your story is going to be a comfort to a lot of women out there. Now, we gotta talk about Daisy. How did you not know about her other procedures? LOL! That moment was priceless. Maybe ask her a few more questions before you agree to give her surgery as a gift next time. But hey, you're a generous boss! I like it! I also liked how you kept your comments to a minimum at Alexia's dinner. You didn't add fuel to the fire but you did try to help at times. I think you could see the situation was out of control and you were better off keeping your mouth shut. Lisa's grade for Sunday: A (she opened up and we got to know her a lot better).

Ana: When you were crying at the office, I really felt for you. It didn't really seem like a big deal to move out of the office, but once I started thinking about it, it made more and more sense. That office was your security blanket and now it's being taken away. But you are gonna be fine. And I'm sure by now, you're glad you let that security blanket go. Your contribution to Alexia's party was definitely explosive, and I'm sure that's exactly what you were going for. I can't say I disagree with what you said about Karent - she is in the middle of all the drama - but it was kind of like throwing a grenade and walking away. Ana's grade for Sunday: C (I get where she's coming from, but she threw Karent under the bus when it wasn't really needed).

Karent: I'm starting to wonder if you're just a real optimist that can't handle confrontation, and that's why you seem so fake to everyone. I mean, you went to Alexia's with good intentions, and when Marysol confronted you, you were about to respond when Joanna decided to step in again. Tell her to stop it! Tell her you can speak for yourself! Why don't you put her in her place? I know you get along with her, but it's ok to tell her to back off. I really like your friendship with Lisa. You two seem to understand each other. I did cringe a little when you started talking about yourself when she was pouring her heart out to you. That's exactly what she didn't want! Oh, and the scene with your mom rubbed me the wrong way. You don't tell your mom she can't have ice cream because she needs to lose weight. No, no, no. That don't fly with me. Karent's grade for Sunday: C (she's still annoying but at least we can see that she may not have bad intentions).

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RuPaul's All Star Drag Race and Untucked - Beat My Mug the House DOWN!!!

Oh my Gah - we are down to the final two teams. Now, I've been hearing that Ru will bring one queen back (as is her custom) and that the competition will become individual. I can only hope that both of those are true. Although the whole team thing has been fun to watch, it's made for a lightning-fast season (which may have been Ru's intention). I know the fifth season of Drag Race starts in January, and I can't wait, but I would have loved a true full season of All Star greatness. However, I am extremely grateful for the All Star season, so please don't think I'm trying to be rude or whiny about it. I mean, we've been lucky enough to see all of our favorites plus some amazing guest judges. So, we all win.

This week, the final three teams had to do some reading as cheerleaders. This mini-challenge fell flat for me. But hey, that's just me, I just happen to love the traditional reading mini-challenges, that's all. But this one was fun - it was a lot more awkward than any other reading challenge because they had almost no time to become cheerleaders. Some of their looks were a KI!!!

The main challenge gave me so much life, I almost couldn't take it. Guests Kelly Osbourne (Ozzy and Sharon's daughter), Jillian Hervey (Vanessa Williams' daughter), and Kady Z (Pia Zadora's daughter - 80's icon realness!) joined the queens for a girl group challenge. A la Season One!!! One of my most favoritest episodes ever. When Akashia tore it up on the lipsynch after getting read by Michelle Williams (Destiny's Child) and Tammie Brown went home. Ah ... memories ... Anyway, the queens picked their RuPaul song, and that song was assigned to one of the guests. So, Yarlexis chose "Covergirl", which was Kelly's song. Shad chose "Glamazon", and they got Jillian. Rujubee picked their season's "Jealous of My Boogie", which was assigned to Kady. The ladies got to work, choreographing, rehearsing, getting on each others' nerves, and getting on each others' nerves even more. But, to be fair, they've been working hard, and they've got to be exhausted by now. In a major, MAJOR drag faux pas, Kady informs Rujubee that she doesn't want her makeup to be so extreme for the show. Um, say what now? You're on RUPAUL'S ALL STAR DRAG RACE!!! IN A GIRL GROUP CHALLENGE!!! YOU DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!!! If Raven wanted to give you full beat, why in the world would you not take it???!!!!! That pissed me off to no end. Seriously, Kady, when you're at Drag Race, you get in full drag. No questions asked. If I'm ever lucky enough to perform with drag queens, they betta beat my mug for the Gods!

Show time!! Each team performed their songs for the judges (including Mary Wilson of the Supremes and Rosie Perez, my girl!!) and a live audience. Ru was channeling a blonde Miss Ross in all her "Upside Down" glory and I was living for Michelle Visage's 60's half-up-do and girls at full attention. Magnificent. Oh and Santino was there, too.They all performed for their lives! I loved each performance so much. The one that made me the most hype was Yarlexis, partly because of Kelly's enthusiasm, but Jillian was spectacular as well. She is a dancer and so so gorgeous. She gave us everything in that performance. I hate to say it, but Kady lacked in the performance piece. I mean, the least she could have done was give an amazing performance to make up for the fact that she looked completely out of place with Rujubee. Mary Wilson and Rosie Perez were awesome guest judges and had a lot of praise and constructive criticism for the girls. And I could listen to Rosie talk all day. Just saying.

Unfortunately, the bottom two were Yarlexis and Rujubee, with Shad winning again. I was so devastated. They all worked so hard and did a great job. But it's down to the wire and a team has to go. Raven did the lipsync with Alexis and it was an even battle at first. Raven pulled out all the stops and got down to her skivvies, while Alexis was relying on her dance moves. Yara decided she needed to step in, so she hit the button and tried to outperform Raven, but in the end, Raven took the win, and Team Yarlexis was sent home.

I love Yara and Alexis so much and I love that we got to see them perform for another season. They are cherished. RuPaul's goodbye speech to them was heartfelt and genuine - I love when we can feel Ru's love for the girls. She brought all of them back for a reason. And even though there will be only one winner of All Stars, all of the queens are already superstars.

Now, let's grade the teams!

Team Yarlexis: You two were brilliant, and even though it didn't go your way, you handled it the right way. I loved when Yara put her picture up next to RuPaul's! classic! You two are already legends. And you made a friend for life with Kelly. I'm not really sure why you didn't win the lipsync, but I understand why Yara pushed the button. It was your last chance to try and win it, so you had to take that leap. We don't ever get to see the whole lipsync, so we just have to trust that Ru had her reasons. Team Yarlexis' grade for the week: A (for always giving 110% percent).

Team Rujubee: You definitely got the shaft this week. Your guest was not cooperating, but you both tried your hardest to make it work. Raven, you gave us signature Raven in that lipsync and made us all remember why you are the baddest bitch of them all. You turned it all the way up. Jujubee, in the performance you were absolutely glowing. I am still rooting for you to be the last team standing, but if it becomes an individual race, I will be truly torn about which one of you should win. Jujubee's partner made an appearance on Untucked, and it was so touching. Make sure to post those wedding pics, gurrr!!!!! Team Rujubee's grade for the week: A (they worked it out in spite of a dud guest).

Team Shad: The wins just keep coming for y'all! Your experience and professionalism are really shining through. I am so happy for both of you. The performance was on point and like the judges said, you let Jillian shine in the performance and it made the whole thing really take off. When you were talking about your past issues with each other, it made me really connect with both of you, and we saw how bonded you two really are. And that's beautiful. I can't wait to see what happens, and who wins this thing. But you two have truly made your mark on this show, and you should be extremely proud. Team Shad's grade for the week: A (because they are dominating these main challenges, WERK!).

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RHOA Season 5 Episode 2 - Mock Up

I'm back, kids! I hope you all had a great Veterans' Day weekend. Mine was pretty awesome, which explains how behind I am on blogging. I just want to thank you all for your patience with me. I'll try to stay on top of it from now on, but you know me, when I have a chance to get some time off, I usually go berserk and forget about everything else. Not an excuse, I know. But still. Anyway, I'm so glad I watched RHOA, because I have a question that need to be answered.

Why are we wasting so much time on Kenya? She isn't likable, she isn't interesting, and she isn't fun. At all. Maybe Bravo thinks they need to give us so much backstory on her because she causes major drama this season, but I'm here to tell you - ya don't. We're good. I was full on fed up with Kenya last week. I don't need to see her for almost half of the episode. Unnecessary, Bravo.

So why don't we give out some grades? This is gonna be fun.

Kenya: Like I said before, you're coming across as messy and unstable. Your scene with Walter was cringe-worthy at best. You had no reason (except insecurity) to get so pressed about Walter asking Kandi out on a date. I'm pretty sure he's dated a lot of women, and he was just trying to be honest with you like you asked him to. I also have to address the lies you told at your lunch with Kandi and Phaedra. You were not invited by Jet, you were invited by Cynthia, and your bodyguard didn't throw anyone out of anywhere. What world are you living in? I think you may be the most immature 41 year old in Housewives history (and that's saying a lot). Why would you mock Cynthia's speech at her party? Was it because she wasn't praising you? It seems to me that the only time you're happy is when it's all about you. How sad. Then you have the nerve to take the microphone and call it a clown show? You are the clown, honey. Are you not the least bit self aware? The only scene that made me not hate you was the scene with your aunt. Now, I like her. In that scene, you seemed real. You were open and honest. You weren't putting anyone else down. Why can't you be that girl with the rest of the cast? It makes me think you're faking the attitude and putting on an act so that you'll have more camera time. And I don't like that. Especially when you make it so painfully obvious. Round 2 with Cynthia was hilarious, because you are so eager to make sure Nene likes you, but two minutes before you were making fun of the entire event? Fake, fake, fake. Kenya's grade for the week: F (because she's acting like a nutbag).

Nene: I like that you're so calm and peaceful this season. Success agrees with you. I think the standout moment of this episode for you was when you were friendly and engaging with Kim and Sweetie and they clearly had no idea what to do. True, you've fought with cast members in the past, but I can see a change in you. In fact, last season, when you were in Africa, you were the peace maker. So, it isn't really new. You've been in the process of changing for a while, now. So, I think it's great that you are being so positive and uplifting this season. You were great with Phaedra and you were more than nice to Kim. I give you credit for that. You're not bringing up old sh*t - you're on to bigger and better things. The idea to make the party about all successful women was a great idea. And you look great this season, by the way. You handled Kenya well and I can't wait to see how you deal with the rest of the ladies now that you're in a much better place personally and professionally. Nene's grade for the week: A (because she's being super positive and I love it - and if it's all an act, may she win an Oscar!).

Kim: You continue to shock me with your foul language and behavior. Here's a thought. If you really don't want to go to an event, DON'T GO! You're not doing anyone any favors by showing up, having stank look on your face, and sneaking out early. Who does that? And Sweetie, you're a mess. How can you say that the event was boring when you weren't talking to anyone and you were glued to your phone? Come on. Back to Kim, I'm real happy for you that you got your bracelet from your wedding for your birthday. That was nice. But if I have to hear you say "We're homeless" one more time, I'm going to rip my eardrums out. It's always a complaint with you. Why can't you just be grateful for what you have? You have a townhouse. Great. You're going to look for a bigger home. Great. Why do we have to hear all this bullsh*t? When are you quitting the show again? Kim's grade for the week: F (because I'm over her and all her whining).

Kandi: I really like you, but you're gonna have to answer for a few things. Why would you laugh and entertain Kenya's insults about Cynthia at lunch? I thought you and Cynthia were cool? Did I miss something? Also, you laughed when Kenya was mocking Cynthia at the party, as well. I just didn't think you would play along with something like that. You usually speak up and defend your friends. So, I'm not sure what was going on there. Maybe you were just laughing to avoid getting Kenya on your bad side. But really, do you want to be friends with such a loose cannon? Well, you were friends with Kim - see where that got you? Maybe you're just too nice. You need to have some higher standards when it comes to picking friends. That's all I'm saying. I do like your friendship with Phaedra. You two are a much better fit when it comes to your personalities. I really like Todd, too. And Riley is so pretty! She's becoming such a beautiful young lady. Kandi's grade for the week: C (because I can't get behind her laughing with Kenya at everyone else's expense - I need to know where Kandi stands when it comes to Cynthia).

Cynthia: I am still on your side. You threw a great event in Nene's honor, and Kenya disrespected you, again. Who gave her the microphone? You have always been very supportive of Nene (some would say to a fault, but not me) and you've always praised her publicly. I don't know why that's so funny to Kenya. I think it's great for one woman to show another how much she respects her. When Kenya was trying to make sure Nene would give her a chance, you should have let them just finish their conversation. It was a little rude of you to jump in, but I understand why you did it. This was after Kenya disrespected you for the second time. So, in your mind, it could have been go time. At any rate, I loved the shade about when she won her crown. It's true! Before this show, I had no idea this girl even existed! And if she's going to dish it out, she better be able to take it. You keep saying it like you mean it, Cynthia, but I will say - be prepared for whatever Kenya the wackjob is going to do and say. And you're right. Her ugliness on the inside makes her ugly on the outside. You win! Cynthia's grade for the week: B (because she's still standing up for herself, but she should have stayed out of Nene and Kenya's conversation at the party - just to show she is the bigger person).

Phaedra: The scene with you, Nene, and Cynthia working out was hilarious! I think it's great that you can put the past behind you and have a good time with Nene. And I was so happy to see you laugh about "Fakedra"! This is what we love about you. You can take all of this with a grain of salt because this show isn't your whole world. You may want to teach Kenya a little about that. I really have no beef with you, other than what I already said to Kandi. You shouldn't be egging Kenya on when she makes fun of Cynthia (or anyone else for that matter). I'm wondering if she thinks it's ok because you and Kandi are laughing with her? Is that really the message you want to send? Especially now that you are getting along with everyone? I would nip this Kenya thing in the bud now. She's out of control and you don't want to support that. Phaedra's grade for the week: C (because I love how she's getting along with everyone but she needs to stop playing like she condones what Kenya is doing).

You may be hating that I'm Team Cynthia, but really - when you look at Kenya's behavior, how can you not be? Kenya has made herself look like a crazy person. She's done it to herself and I'm just calling it like I see it.

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Thursday, November 8, 2012

RuPaul's All Star Drag Race - Ever In Your Favor

Are you loving RuPaul's All Star Drag Race as much as I am? It really is a breath of fresh air for me. I love the fashion, the makeup, and the personalities on this show so much. This week, Rachel Dratch and Janice Dickinson were the guest judges and my, oh, my! Janice was on one! Rachel was sweet and funny - I just love her. And I gotta shout out My Main Mama Michelle Visage! Her look this week was EVERYTHING! I couldn't stop staring at that betwixt-the-breasticles tattoo she has ... if I wasn't such a wimp about needles ... yeah, never gonna happen.

The mini-challenge for the week required each queen to give their best manly man self-portrait, and it revealed a lot about how our girls see themselves when they're not in drag. And they are all hot guys in their own right, mind you! In drag, out of drag, they are all fierce. 

This week's main challenge consisted of the teams o' queens had to do a Girls Behaving Badly/Candid Camera/Punk'd-inspired turn on the streets of Los Angeles, and get random passersby to engage in hilarious activities with them. It was a lot of fun to watch each queen try to convince people to crack an egg on their own forehead or dance with them or let them spray whipped cream down their pants. And people did it! The power of drag, my friends. The crazier the stunt, the more points the teams accumulated.

For the runway, the category was ... Bad Girl Chic. Very hot! I'll get into the details later while giving the teams their grades. Team Shad won this week - very well-deserved, since they got the most points in the main challenge and rocked the runway look. Team Latrila and Team Rujubee were in the bottom 2 (isn't it crazy that we're already down to only 4 teams this week???). Manila and Jujubee stepped up to lipsync for their team's life. And Jujubee took it on home, sending Manila and Latrice packing. It was so sad, and all the girls were very emotional. But Latrice and Manila's positive attitude was really uplifting and their friendship was a great take-away from this whole experience. 

On Untucked, the teams start to look at who's carrying whom in the competition, and it gets very heated. A digital visit from Season 2's Tatiana does not make things any better, as she spills the tea (shade) on all the ladies. A lot of it was nonsense, but it clearly got under some of their skin. 

Now, let's grade these teams! 

Team Latrila: You both are such positive people, and such caring people, so while it sucks to see you go home, you both handled it with grace and a sense of humor. Latrice, I think you were amazing on the runway - but unfortunately, it wasn't the judges' favorite look from you. I loved that you channeled Divine! That was so perfect for this week! And Manila, your shoe hat was everything. I think if you had coordinated your runway looks and played off each other a little more, you would have been safe. But hey, you ladies did a fabulous job and you got a great song and video out of it! I LOVE "The Chop"! What a fantastic way to celebrate your time on All Stars. You two are brilliant. Team Latrila's grade for the week: A (for an amazing attitude and their strong friendship). 

Team Yarlexis: This week was tough for you both. On one hand, Yara didn't do so well in the challenge on the street, and on the other, Alexis was criticized for being the weaker one on the team. On the runway, Alexis took Yara's lead and you both were a cohesive unit as far as the look. I'm thinking that's what may have made it look like Yara was the stronger of the two, because Alexis let Yara dress her in Yara's style. Maybe if Alexis had done her own version of pageant bad girl, it would have made her stand out on her own more. It's tough when you're in a team, though. There's always going to be a compromise or else you'll be totally mismatched on the runway. Alexis, you were awesome in the main challenge and I loved it when you blew up on the runway. We saw that fire from you. You want to win! That's the passion you need! You two need to come together and find a way to highlight both of your strengths in your runway looks. Team Yarlexis' grade for the week: C (because they both had a hard time, but they got through it. They just have to figure out where to take it from here.)

Team Shad: Easily the best week for the two of you. You both killed the challenge on the street and your runway looks were on point. I was dying laughing when Chad was joking around with the guy self portrait mini challenge, though. I think it's gonna be an even closer race from now on. I loved Chad's continued Hunger Games references! Yes!!! Can we see you do Katniss or even Effie Trinket? That would be amazing. I'm very interested to see if you two can win this thing. Team Shad's grade for the week: A (because they nailed the challenge and the runway, congrats!).

Team Rujubee: I picked you two to win the whole thing, so don't let me down!! Jujubee, you were fierce in the lipsync, as always. And I loved your runway look as well. You were great in the challenge on the street. I can't believe you got so many people to do so many crazy things! I will say that I liked both of your runway looks, even though they weren't connected in any way. You both looked great and Raven, I happened to love your runway look. It was different and edgy and fun. Janice Dickinson is a moron. I want you to focus on improving your communication and stay on the same page with each other. It was kind of sad to hear that Tatiana has such a problem with Jujubee, because what Jujubee said wasn't that terrible at all. And it was way back in Season 2! Hold a grudge much, Tati? Or was it all for the show? I'm still Team Rujubee, so make me proud!!! Team Rujubee's grade for the week: C (because they have some work to do, but I think they can still win).

So, who knows when this competition goes individual? Because there can only be one winner, yes?

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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

RHOBH Season 3 Premiere - Frenemies Strike Back

Well, my dear readers, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back! And I couldn't be more ready. After a summer of the East Coast, I'm excited to see my West Coast ladies with all their extravagance and opulence. This is how I like to see my 'wives. Filthy rich! LOL! Besides the money, Beverly Hills has a very different tone than the other series, not better, not worse, just different. It's a great change of pace, and actually, a very nice compliment to Real Housewives of Atlanta. With Atlanta, I get my life from all the shade, and with Beverly Hills, I get my life from all the quiet, reserved tension. With RHOBH, it's what's unspoken that creates the storylines. Except for Taylor's friend who read Adrienne for filth about the flowers! That was hilarious!

Let's get right into it - and hand out some grades!

Lisa: Disclaimer: I love you. I have always been Team Lisa. However, with this whole Adrienne situation, I'm going to wait and see what the season holds before making a final decision. I said last season that I don't think you would ever sell stories to tabloids, and I still don't. I mean, it took seconds for a "source" to rat on Teresa from RHONJ for selling stories, so if you had, I'm sure we would have heard about it by now. And, Villa Blanca is YOUR restaurant. You can invite or not invite whomever YOU want to the party. It's really your decision. And I understand, after all the accusations Adrienne launched at you on the reunion last season, why would you want her around? You haven't spoken since then, so there is no real resolution to the issue. That's why I'm not mad at you for not inviting her. Now, let's talk about your friendship with Brandi. As much as I despise her joking about having sex with your husband, I'm glad you and Brandi are closer now. It's good to see you joking and laughing with her. But at some point, the whole "I want your husband" thing has got to get old. Could you convince her to knock it off? I thought the Villa Blanca party was absolutely fantastic. I peeked inside the restaurant when I was in Beverly Hills earlier this year and it is amazing. We didn't stop and eat because, frankly, we were underdressed and when I go to Villa Blanca, I want to look stunning. When in Rome. Back to this episode. I thought you handled the flower (tree?) delivery from Adrienne well. You said nothing negative. You did not share the card with anyone (but you should have taken it with you). The nosy looky loos read it on camera (not cool). Bottom line, I don't see any malice from you, but you don't want to be close to Adrienne ever again. Understandable. And by the way, your new house is gorgeous. Lisa's grade for the week: B (because I'm waiting to see what happens, but I can't help it, I love me some Lisa).

Brandi: You grew on me last season and I ended up really liking you. However, this season, you're starting off on a not-so-great note with me. I still like you, but you gotta stop the sexual jokes. At least about other people's husbands. I mean, we all know you wouldn't ever act on it, but it's just ... uncomfortable to watch you tell Lisa all this stuff about Ken. The gifts were a nice gesture, and I think your friendship with Lisa is genuine. I think she understands you now, so that's really good for both of you. I will say that I think your competitiveness when it comes to being Lisa's friend is coming from a little bit of insecurity and a little bit of desperation. It's this need to be liked. You want to "win" at being Lisa's friend. Relax! She already likes you. You don't have to be in competition with anyone. And if so, who exactly are you competing against? It may have been a flippant comment on your part, but it spoke volumes to me. Let's talk about the Villa Blanca party. I understand that you want to try to fix things with Kim and Kyle - but they have their own stuff going on, so you have to just let them come to you. Except with Kim, she may not ever come around. You have to just accept that. Don't take it personally. Yolanda wasn't amused with your joke about how small Beverly Hills is, but she knew you were kidding. Like I said, the raunchiness isn't for everyone. And why did you have to bring up her ex??? I never understand why people have to bring up the one awkward/sensitive subject that the other person clearly doesn't want to talk about - at a party, no less. Who wants to talk about their ex at a party? I'm not saying you should change who you are, but you could tone it down in order to not offend people - at least when you first meet them. As for Taylor, I don't think you two will ever see eye to eye, and you did tell her about herself on the reunion. So that's a done deal. I'm interested to see how you make your way through this season. Brandi's grade for the week: C (because she's a nice girl, but she has no filter and it's already gotten her in trouble - it's barely the first episode!).

Kyle: First off, that Maserati is everything. So jealous. Second, you and your sister need to just agree to play nice. I can't go through another season of you two fighting. And I know you don't want to. So, stop with the 20 questions about her daughter and the boyfriend and all the other crap and just let her be. I get it, you're concerned about her, but you get into it when you try to tell her what to do. She's a grown up. You gotta let go. The scene with Portia was so adorable. She's such a doll. I thought it was nice of her to ask the ladies to her party. And you were quite gracious with Brandi, even though the look on your face told another story. All I'm saying is, if Brandi has two faces, then so do you. Because you were not happy to invite her, but you did it anyway to be nice. It is what it is. At the Villa Blanca party, you got into it with Kim again, and in your confessional, you talked about the fact that you still feel tension towards her even now that she's sober. Here's why. You never resolved the real issues. Yes, her addictions contributed to her behavior that hurt you in the past. But you never recovered. So now, she's sober and you're still mad. Again, let it go. That tension isn't hurting anyone but you. Kyle's grade for the week: C (because she's still trying to micromanage Kim and it's gonna get her nowhere).

Adrienne: It was a little strange seeing you and Paul on the show like nothing was wrong, now that we know you two have split. There's always been tension between the two of you and it comes through on the show every season. You were able to laugh it off in the past, but this season, it's no longer a laughing matter. This week, while you're having dinner with Paul, Taylor spills the beans about Lisa's party. Now, here's where we disagree. You think that just because you've been friends with Lisa for years (and you're still friends with her friends), you should have been invited. I think the only way you would have been invited is if you two had hashed out the whole selling-stories-to-tabloids thing, which, I'm assuming from what we saw on the show, never happened. So, how do you figure that Lisa would still invite you? It doesn't make sense. I know it sucks to be left out, but were you really that surprised? If someone had accused you of something pretty terrible, would you invite them to your next dinner party? Without some sort of sit-down? I think not. You and Lisa never resolved the issue, she moved, and the friendship is pretty much over. Until both of you can sit down and communicate about it. I have to talk about the flower arrangement. Part of me thinks it was a sincere gesture and you meant what you said in the card. But another part of me thinks you did that to highlight the fact that you weren't there and that you picked the most hideous thing you could find to send to the party. Because that arrangement was a holy terror. What in the world were you thinking? If you really wanted to extend an olive branch, you could have called Lisa and wished her well. Or just sent a card to her house. It was the presentation of this monstrosity that really makes it look like this was a dig. We'll have to see how you play it this season, but it's not looking good so far. Adrienne's grade for the week: C (because she is wrong to be surprised that Lisa wants nothing to do with her and that plant/flower arrangement was crazy!).

Yolanda: I like you a lot already. You're definitely an interesting addition to the cast. I love that you don't brag about your money (cough cough Dana cough cough) and you seem to be interested in the more important things in your life like your kids and husband. The part where you and your husband were talking about the love notes won me over completely. You're my kind of girl. At the Villa Blanca party, I was glad to see you buddy up to Kim. She needs a solid friend like you for sure. And you mentioned Brandi's joke, but quickly added that you knew she was kidding. Just don't take everything Brandi says to heart. And don't get caught up taking sides with the other ladies' drama. Yolanda's grade for the week: A (I think she's great so far!).

Kim: I'm glad you're doing well after rehab. You look a lot better. You even sound better! I think you just avoid Kyle (and her calls) because you don't want her to lecture you, which I can understand. But you have to speak up and let her know that. And not in a bickering way. You can use what you learned in rehab to communicate better with Kyle, and not run away from every uncomfortable situation, like when you ran away from Brandi at the party. It's time for you to stand up for yourself. Be assertive about what you want and what you don't want. Kim's grade for the week: C (because she needs to work on communicating and not falling back into the bickering pattern with Kyle).

Taylor: It's good to see you in such good spirits on the show, but, as you recall, I said last season that you shouldn't come back. But here you are, so I hope you make the best of it. I was not surprised when you told Adrienne about Lisa's party because, frankly, you have a big mouth. And you tell everyone everything! That's what you do. However, I was concerned when you were trying on clothes at the store with Adrienne. You kept saying you gained ten pounds and that certain clothes were more flattering, as if you were overweight. Which you're not. This kind of language is odd coming from you. I really don't know why you're concerned about clothes being forgiving - because you have nothing to "forgive", essentially. I'm keeping my eye on you, Taylor. I don't think you're well enough to participate in this show. Taylor's grade for the week: C (for referring to her weight in a negative way for absolutely no reason).

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RHOA Season 5 Premiere – Don’t Come for Me

Can I just say how excited I am for this season of Real Housewives of Atlanta? Super excited! I love (most of) these ladies, and I think the additions to the cast will spice this season up for sure. I’m so glad we’re getting away from the same old Nene vs. Kim drama that we’ve been seeing for the past few seasons. (And who else didn’t even notice Sheree was gone? Me too. Shhh!) Although this first episode started off pretty tame, by the end of it, we saw fireworks between Cynthia and Kenya. I was LIVING!!! I cannot wait to see how the season plays out.

Let’s grade these gals, shall we?

Nene: You seem really happy this season! It’s great that you and Greg are focusing on each other (your words) and you’re not actively dating anyone else. I think it’s sweet that Greg is trying to win you back. I don’t know what his motives are, but I think you’re smart enough to know if he’s sincere or not. Congratulations on all your acting successes. Glee and The New Normal are huge accomplishments, and I’m proud of you for pursuing your dream of being an actress. Now, I was upset with you last season for speaking in a not-so-kind manner about your fans (aka “twitter people”), but I’m willing to give you a second chance. Mostly because you’re obviously in a better place personally and professionally, and I think we may get some of that fun Nene back that we fell in love with in season 1. You threw shade at Kim with the trailer comment, but that’s nothing new. You’ve been doing that since season 1. Nene’s grade for the week: C (I’m giving her another chance. She really disappointed me last season.)

Kandi: I’m so happy you’re in love! Todd seems like a great guy! Wishing you nothing but the best!!! On to the drama with Kim and Sweetie. First of all, your house (although it is unfinished – but you openly said that) is gorgeous! With a guest house! You know what that was? Jealousy and bitterness. Kim is PRESSED that you’re doing well. And Sweetie has no right to say anything about your house or what you do with it. Neither of them do, for that matter. You just keep doing your thing and keep your distance from Kim. She has nothing positive to offer you. This friendship is over. And not because of you, by the way. Kandi’s grade for the week: B (because she needs to enjoy this new chapter of her life and cut Kim out of it).

Kim: Although I am happy for all the wonderful things that are happening for you right now, your attitude still sucks. I can’t get over how you go into someone else’s (obviously unfinished) home and sh*t all over it for no reason. It’s her house, she’s your friend. You are supposed to be supportive. And what was with the indoor pool comment? If I were Kandi, I would have thrown you out right then and there. Come on, Kim. Then, you make it all about you and how much you’re CHOOSING to pay to move. You got yourself into a mess leasing that house, and now it’s everyone else’s fault but your own. Kim, please. You need to stop playing the victim while you put everyone else down with your stupid comments. It wasn’t cute on season 1 and it definitely isn’t cute now. Not to mention, talking sh*t about your own parents on national television. Wow. Even if they can’t afford nice things for your kid, why say it on camera? Don’t they deserve a little discretion from you as their daughter? I can’t wait till you quit this show. Amen!!! Kim’s grade for the week: F (for being a sh*tty friend and the most negative person I’ve ever seen).

Phaedra: I respect your hustle, but that veterinarian had no use for you in her office. I honestly can’t wait to see how you do a doggie funeral (and I know people who would pay for one), so I’m not hating. I just think it’s hilarious how you always try to play the part of this professional woman, but somehow, something just isn’t quite right about it and it never goes the way it’s supposed to. Can we say “awkward”? The scene with the kids riding their little tricycles was super cute. Aiden is a doll! Phaedra’s grade for the week: C (because she’s alright, but she still has that fake-ness about her that I don’t like).

Cynthia: I love you so much this season! I’ve always liked you but now, I love you. You put Kenya in her place while she was disrespecting those girls at your school. I am so glad you said something and it’s going to be delicious watching you two go at it. If anyone still thought you were a push-over, they better think again. You are proving that you have a backbone and a voice. I will be living for your shade towards Kenya, and I don't care what anyone says about that. Keep standing up for yourself, hun! The scene with Peter and Leon was a little less enjoyable for me, only because I didn’t feel that scene really had a purpose on the show, other than showing everyone on the same page except you. Which I found to be a little unflattering to you. But you are Noelle’s mom, and I’m sure you’re doing what’s best for her no matter what. Cynthia’s grade for the week: A (because she stood up for herself, her school, and her assistant and I loved every second of it).

Kenya: Well, you certainly made an impression. Too bad it was a terrible one. Besides talking about “bling”, and besides saying you always get what you want, and besides talking about how you’re an actor/producer/author/director/hustler/model/former Miss USA (that I’ve never heard of before this show), besides all of that … what made you unlikable was your attitude and your behavior. That made you ugly, which I know is the one thing you don’t want to be. But the inner you is not pretty. And that ugliness came through loud and clear when you disrespected Cynthia, her school, her assistants, Jet magazine, and the girls who were auditioning. Exactly who are you, Kenya, to tell anyone “what are you doing here?” at an open call? It’s an open call. That’s the whole point, is for people who aren’t signed to an agency to come and audition. You could have shown the girls that you, a former Miss USA, could still be an inspiration to them, but you tore them down instead. I don’t like you, and quite frankly, I don’t think you like yourself very much. Get some help with that, but not on camera. I’m not here for you in the slightest. Kenya’s grade for the week: F (quite possibly the worst debut episode for a cast member in Housewives history).

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