Kathy!

The premiere of Kathy Griffin's new talk show, Kathy, was super funny. I really loved it, and I have high hopes for the rest of the season. Here's just a few things that I really loved about the show:

Maggie. She's back in our lives, and I'm so happy to see her again.

Tiffany. First of all, she looks amazing, and she still has a great laugh. She serves as a kind of Andy Richter, and she does an awesome job.

The civilian panel. Kathy has a panel of non-celebrities talk about celebrities with total abandon and no fear of getting banned or blacklisted. It's like the conversations we all have on Twitter happening on a couch with Kathy as the hilarious moderator.

The staff. Kathy has a whole new set of staff members to torture and it's going to be funny as hell. But, where's Tom?

The set. It's so beautiful and sparkly and fun. Totally perfect for our girl Kathy.

I'm really looking forward to next Thursday's show. Kathy is staying true to her comedy, which I love. I'm glad she's not being forced to conform to anyone else's ideas of what she should do or what she should say. Kathy does best when she's just flying by the seat of her pants. Speaking of pants, Kathy looked great on the episode. I want her glam squad.

What did you think of the premiere episode? Tweet me!

Oh, No She Didn't!

I hope everyone had an amazing holiday weekend! Spring is in the air, and we have flowers and sunshine to look forward to, which makes me the happiest girl on the block. How's the weather where you are? Just wondering. Anywhoo, last week was a Travel Channel-worthy roller coaster ride on Watch What Happens Live. There were as many low points as there were highlights, so you know I have some opinions. So let's jump right in. If you need to catch up, take your sweet bippy here and do your homework.

Sunday, April 1: Phaedra Parks and GG from Shahs of Sunset. GG was duh-runk! Gurl was tippin' it! Anyway, it was a fun show, and Phaedra gave us everything we want and need from her. I couldn't get over how wasted GG was on the After Show. Hilarious.

Monday, April 2: Shannen Doherty and Giuliana Rancic. Shannen was a hot mess, and by the way, was her eye always that wonky? And then she play-choked Andy ... for real. Giuliana was a doll and a sweetheart. I friggin' love her. I got to ask a question on the After Show, but I didn't advertise it very much because I had some problems with my phone on speaker and there was feedback and it totally ruined the moment. Anyway, Giuliana answered my question and couldn't have been nicer.

Tuesday, April 3: Tori Spelling and Chris Klein. Chris is so nice, it's almost odd. He's just a really nice guy. I loved his little guy-from-a-small-town attitude, also. Very cool. Tori was trying a little too hard, but I think we all expect that by now. But, she's a mogul and an empire, so I respect the hell out of her. Good show for the most part.

Wednesday, April 4: Bravo All-Star Party. This was half a disaster and half a science experiment. Seriously. The show was totally disjointed because it wasn't the real clubhouse, a lot of it was a commercial for upcoming shows, and a lot of the Bravolebrities clearly couldn't stand each other. That many wackos in a room together does not equal greatness. Highlights were Bethenny Frankel and Kathy Griffin, Jenni Pulos' performance at the top of the show, Randall's video naming the biggest Bravo bad-ass, and the record-breaking amount of screaming during the Housewives trivia game. The low points were both of the musical performances (I'm so disappointed in you, Melissa. LuAnn, no mas, por favor), the awkward chat/game with Tabatha, Madison from Million Dollar Listing, Jeff Lewis, and Rosie Pope from Pregnant in Heels, and oddly enough, the record-breaking amount of screaming during the Housewives trivia game. Andy, do us a favor, and never, ever combine the up-fronts with Watch What Happens Live ever again. It's not the same show when it's a room full of advertisers and a bunch of reality tv stars competing for attention.

Thursday, April 5: Kathy Griffin. And my faith in Bravo was renewed. Kathy took on the previous night's debacle with honesty as only she can. This was my favorite episode of the week. So much so, that I refuse to delete it from my DVR. And that's a big deal, because God knows I need the room. Kathy and Andy were great, and Tiffany was awesome as the bartender. Best show of the week, by far.

What did you think of Watch What Happens Live this week? Tweet me!

2012 is HERE!

I hope everyone is having a great year so far! I really enjoyed all of the NYE programming this year. To be fair, I have a special place in my heart for CNN's coverage with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin, so of course, that's always my favorite. And it was even better this year, because Kathy strutted around in her bra for us - but didn't swear AT ALL - which made for a very giggly Anderson, just like I like him. Lady Gaga's performance on ABC's Rockin' Eve (can they come up with a better name, please?!) was AMAZING! We got Heavy Metal Lover, Marry The Night, and Born This Way. I loved it. And her outfit for the ball drop??? OMG ... 2012 will be another year of Gaga domination. I'm telling you. CeeLo Green doing "Imagine" was oddly touching. I was impressed. I even checked out MTV's NYE special, and Demi Lovato's performance was the highlight for me. On NBC, The Roots killed it, not once, but twice. Those guys are ridiculously talented.

I guess I should tell you what my "resolution" is - although it's not much of a resolution, it's more of a declaration. I plan to take every single opportunity and do something with it. I plan to put myself out there with everything I have and let people see what I have to offer. I plan to team up with the best and the brightest I can find to make something truly magical happen. It's really up to me to change my life, and starting this blog almost a year ago was the first step. I want to thank every single person who has ever read my blog, because each of you gave me the encouragement to keep on writing.

Let's make 2012 an amazing year. Oh yeah, and screw the Mayan calendar. This year, it's not the end. It's just gettin' started!

BEST NIGHT EVER!

Ok - I'm going to cut right to the chase - I met Kathy Griffin tonight.

Let me repeat that. I met Emmy winner Kathy Griffin tonight.

It was so amazing!!! First of all, I have to thank Team Griffin and kathygriffin.net. I won the meet & greet through kathygriffin.net and it was honestly one of the most exciting moments of my life. So unbelievably cool ...

So I won the meet & greet and the email said to arrive an hour early and go to the box office to get our backstage passes. Which we did and we were informed that we were not going to be given backstage passes but once the doors opened we should go to the merch table and they would help us there. Doors opened, we went to the merch table and I politely said, "We were told to come here and check in for the meet & greet ..." The girl looked at me and said something about not knowing what I was talking about. So I go back to the box office and tell the gentleman behind the glass that the merch maidens are clueless, to which they responded (somewhat annoyed) to go wait *by* the merch table.

Finally a nice man came and gave us our wristband. It was all so exciting. Everyone was really friendly and it was like we were all part of some special club ... which we kind of were. A few minutes later we were being lead over to the dressing room. As we walked through the lobby area people were staring at our wristbands, seething with jealousy!

We end up backstage, and we all line up by couple (winner plus guest). My sister and I were in the middle of the pack and we could hear Kathy saying hello to the people who entered before us (and Tiffany's infectious, contagious laughter). Finally it was our turn, and I honestly thought I was going to cry.

(Let me just go on a little tangent here - Kathy is one of my heroes. She is truly an inspiration to me. I'll spare you the mushy stuff and just say that I really admire her and what she does.)

Kathy said hello and asked us our names. I told her and hugged her and thanked her for letting us meet her. I even hugged Tiffany! Tiffany then took some pictures of us with our cameras and we chatted quickly with Kathy as she signed my book and my sister's ticket stub. Kathy was so gracious, kind, and sweet. She asked us how we won the meet and greet, and asked me to post the pictures on her website (which I will be doing shortly - kathygriffin.net). Kathy told us to laugh at her jokes and said goodbye, and out the door we went. But not before I freaked out and thought I lost my camera, which was hanging from my wrist LOL! I think my words were, "Oh my god, I'm such a spaz!" And we went out to our seats.

The show was hilarious!! It's kind of a blur now, but she touched on several celebrity encounters, reality tv, silly politicians, and much much more. Kathy showed Fresno so much love! She talked about the drive from LA, shopping at one of the many Fresno Target stores, and eating beerrocks ... which are like meaty hot pockets. Kathy was warm, engaging, and totally inappropriate. I really enjoyed it.

Even if I hadn't won the meet & greet, I still would have had a great time. Kathy has a way of making you feel like we're all just hanging out having fun. She encourages the audience to let her know whether we're on board with her or not. Needless to say, we were all on board and prepared to take that 2 hour journey with her, no doubt about it.

Best show ever - Kathy is incredible! See her when she comes to your town!

Check out my twitter for pictures (twitter.com/humorandspice) ... I still can't stop smiling!

Toddlers & Tiaras - Can I Get an Ultimate Grand Supreme, Please?

Welcome back!

I should begin by saying my all-time favorite episode of Kathy Griffin's "My Life on the D-List" is called "Toddlers and Remodelers" (http://www.bravotv.com/kathy-griffin-my-life-on-the-d-list/season-6/toddlers-and-remodelers), where she "infilitrates" a child pageant. Ok, she's just one of the judges, but she makes it into an investigative report, complete with undercover shenanigans. The kids and parents who appeared on the show were funny and seemed to be in on Kathy's joke: that these pageants are crazy weird.

Cut to last night, after watching Basketball Wives (which I couldn't bring myself to blog about because the only exciting thing was Royce telling Evelyn to shut up, after which Evelyn threw a drink at her, and they almost fought - by the way, there's a lot of almost fighting on that show, can't they just throw down already?) and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon episodes on my DVR, sleep would not come, so I did what any rational person who has to work at 8 am the next day would do. Watch more TV. I stumbled upon "Toddlers & Tiaras", a show that I used to put on while visiting my mom with the sole purpose of making her mad. I would point at the TV and say, "See, Mom! I could have won all those pageants when I was little! I could have been a STAR!" Then I would come up with some clever play on words about her crushing my childhood dreams and get a rise out of her. "Turn that off! Those poor kids are miserable!" To which I would respond, "That girl that won seems pretty happy." Other than torturing my mother, the show really wasn't anything that I thought I would be invested in. Until last night.

Apparently, there are these two child pageant stars who are at the top of their game right now. One is a blonde, fun-size Barbie look-alike named Eden. Eden's mother is ... interesting. By interesting, of course, I mean scary. Eden hardly looks like a real child when she's in full pageant regalia, she looks like a perfect little porcelain doll. In her interviews, she says the normal pre-pageant stuff about liking pageants and wanting to win. But this little girl, at 6 years old, is already building an empire. She's got a CD coming out, she's filming music videos, and has plans to do a mall tour a la Tiffany. And, frankly, Mom looks more excited about it than anyone else.

Eden's competitor is a 5 year old from Louisiana named Makenzie. This girl is hilarious. Let me just say, they showed clips of her from last season - crying for her pacifier, throwing tantrums, and being a straight up brat. But that was last year. She's past all that now. Well, a little. There's no more pacifier. It seems she was embarrassed by the footage that was shown last season and quit that nasty habit. If only all young starlets would do the same. Makenzie is a year older and wiser, and she has a huge presence and sense of humor. They keep calling her "quirky" on the show. I call her entertaining. She is super cute, and genuinely funny. She cracks jokes and makes herself laugh, and seems like a happy kid. Makenzie's mom is much easier to tolerate. She's young and soft-spoken, and talks about letting Makenzie have fun while trying to keep her in line, which is not always easy with a pageant "diva". Mom bought a flipper (a denture-like apparatus that goes over your real teeth) for Makenzie, since the pacifier stage lasted a bit too long and has affected her bite and caused gaps in her teeth. The flipper is a little large and bright white, prompting Makenzie to cry and say she looks like a bunny. Mom consoles her and tells her it looks good. That damn pacifier! Good thing Makenzie broke the habit. Just hope she doesn't relapse.

The big pageant coming up is doing an 80's theme (these kids were born in the 2000s for crying out loud), so everyone is getting their leg warmers and crimpers ready to go. The pageant is broken up into age groups, and there are prizes within each age group. However, the big prizes are up for grabs no matter what age group you're in. First place is called Ultimate Grand Supreme and second place is called Supreme. The Ultimate Grand Supreme gets a crown, a princess canopy bed, and $1,000. Cha-ching!

It seems Eden and Makenzie won't be competing in the same age group, since Eden is 6 and Makenzie is 5. But they will be vying for that canopy bed, no doubt about it. At this point, I think Eden is pretty, but Makenzie is funny. And I'll take funny over pretty any day. Then Eden does the unthinkable. In an interview segment, she pulls out a pacifier with two big teeth (resembling a cartoon rabbit) and says, "This is what I have for Makenzie." Oh, no you DIDN'T!! I know you didn't just clown on my girl, Makenzie! Ooh, ok let me calm down. She's 6, and her mom probably put her up to that. But come on, Eden. Low blow, low blow.

So it's the day of the pageant and everyone is sizing up the competition. Beauty is first, and both girls do great. The judges interview that Eden is more elegant, while Makenzie is sassy. But they both get high scores. The 80s look is next and that's when the breakdowns start happening. Eden's costume didn't arrive on time, but it comes just before the competition. Makenzie's leather jacket ensemble seems to be uncomfortable because she cries and keeps trying to take it off. The 80s portion of the event is underway and Makenzie is still fighting with her costume. Drama! She finally makes it onto the stage and does her thing, although with not as much pizzazz. Eden tears it up. She really wowed the crowd. It's anyone's race, but Eden may have just sealed the deal.

Judging begins. Makenzie's age group is up first and Makenzie wins ... nothing. Not Most Beautiful. Not even Best Dressed. Nada. But there's still Supreme and Ultimate Grand Supreme. Eden's age group is next. Eden wins two trophies ... and Supreme! Some other chick we didn't even meet wins Ultimate Grand Supreme. What a shocker!!! I was honestly disappointed Makenzie didn't win anything. When she realizes what's happened, she's obviously upset. Mom is upset as well. The time, the energy, the hairspray ... Meanwhile, Eden is even more upset because she's not going home with that bed. But her mom still has hope that Hollywood will call any minute to give them a $2 million deal. I'm not kidding. That's what she said. Seriously.

When the episode ended, I thought back on my comments to my mom about crushing my dreams. Sure, I was a cute kid who liked to sing "What's Love Got To Do With It" for anyone who would listen. But the 5, 6, 7, even 8 year old me would have been much more crushed by a competition like that. I'll still give my mom a hard time about it, but I understand why she didn't try to make me a star as a child. She wanted me to have a childhood instead.

What do you think about child pageants? Do you watch "Toddlers & Tiaras"? Are you Team Eden or Team Makenzie? Let me know! Comment or tweet me @humorandspice!!