Take That, Haters

This week's Bethenny Ever After was full of really important lessons. Like, don't pick the wrong toilet seat. Just kidding, there were some real gems, for real. And who knew bloggers were such a pain in the ass. Oh, wait ... Anyway, let's get into the episode, shall we?

The first lesson: success equals haters, but money equals even more haters. And it's not just fame we're talking about. Bethenny learns that when people know you have money, like serious Forbes-cover money, they can't wait to crush you. However, that's when your true fans and supporters come out in your defense. It's a tug of war and it has to be both frustrating and exhausting. This makes me wonder if I really want the success I think I want. Could I deal with all the hate being thrown at me? Could you?

Dwayne the Driver (aka @DtheDriver) gives our girl Bethenny some sound advice while driving to the toilet store. With each "Ma" that he throws out, he's letting her know that the only reason people are hating on her is because she's doing something special. Amen.

Next lesson: Always give your blogs a sweet ending, a la food blogger, Nick. Nick is looking very trim and slim these days! I love that Bethenny's reference to her book went right over his head. Nick is an amazing writer, and per his Twitter, he's studying improv. I love it. Check out his blog here.

Lesson number three: Cuss during therapy. Bethenny lets some "F" bombs loose in Dr. Amador's office regarding a certain "tow f***" who decided to tell the media the whole boat fiasco was a fake. Like I said last week, if that was a fake, they all deserve Emmys. That sh*t looked real to me. Anyway, Bethenny gets into why she has to keep her plate not just full, but overflowing, and she admits it's because she struggled before. She went through the anxiety of not having anything, so now that she has all this success, she wants to keep doing more and more and more before it goes away. Wouldn't you want to do as much as you could with that much success, too?

Fourth lesson: Bloggers are wrong sometimes. I want to say it was Perez Hilton who had to recant some of his posts about the Forbes cover and how much Skinnygirl actually sold for. But, let's be honest, there were a lot of bloggers running the same story around that time. I'm just glad Bethenny was able to clear her name and maintain her credibility, both of which are super important to her and her fans. And the dinner scene with Bethenny and Jason basking in the glow of being vindicated was so cute. Jason with his scruffy beard telling Bethenny to lose the jacket was priceless.

Lesson number five: Demolition is fun and a stress reliever!

Final lesson of the episode: Doing baby talk in front of anyone outside your circle is not a good look. Ellen straight clowned on Bethenny (in a hilarious and all-in-good-fun way) for trying to make her adorable daughter say "All the boats". Bethenny and Ellen are so much fun together, I can see why they wanted to do business together as well. And I can't wait for Bethenny's talk show.

Next week, Julie makes a "life decision". She still works for Bethenny, so what could it be?

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

My Ship Has Sailed

We finally got to see the infamous boat trip from hell on this week's Bethenny Ever After. It was pretty rough, but I'm glad to see Jason and Bethenny got through it without ripping each other to pieces. The episode picked up where we left off last week, Jason walks away from the dock in a huff after a verbal argument with Bethenny. She says she's going on the trip with or without him and asks him what he's going to do. He gets on the helicopter and I think that was the best decision he could have made. Can you imagine how bad it would have been if he hadn't went on the trip? Regardless of whether the boat would've gone off course or not, it would have symbolized that he's really not invested - or that when things get tough, he can't handle it.

Thankfully, while on the boat, Jason gets some one on one with Dr. Amador, and some revelations actually do happen. Like when Jason says he likes to push Bethenny's buttons because he loves her, Amador quickly replies that that's not why he pushes her buttons at all. He pushes her buttons because he's hurt about something and it's the easiest way to make it known. Very true.

Jason then gets sea sick and can't make dinner for the group as planned. Bethenny steps in and cooks the dinner while checking on Jason frequently. I think Bethenny behaved herself and was really patient with Jason. She didn't snap at him, although one under-the-breath comment did slip out at one point. But hey, she's not a saint, people.

Then, the real trouble starts when the trip is an hour behind schedule and Amador breaks the news that the GPS is broken. Really?! The other couple on the trip is asleep, since they were sleeping in shifts, so Jason and Bethenny are the lucky ones who get to be awake during this crisis. Amador, of course, is completely calm. I loved how Bethenny and Jason were able to discuss some of their issues while this is all going on.

The boat analogy really does apply to not only marriage, but relationships of all kinds. If you focus on the tiny problem right in front of you, you may miss the huge, beautiful bigger picture all around you.

Finally, after many, many hours of waiting, the towing boat arrives. Now this is the next day. Like, there's sunshine and it's not like early morning sunshine. We're talking noon, at least. Once everyone is off the boat, the lessons start to really sink in. Bethenny and Jason look happy to be on dry land - back with Brynn - and you can almost see them look at each other differently.

Let's hope Amador comes through on those discounts for upcoming therapy sessions.

Now, if this was fake, they should all get an Emmy, a Tony, and an Oscar, because it all seemed real to me. Even Amador walking in on Bethenny peeing. Who hasn't had that happen to them? It's horrible!

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!