Thursday, September 27, 2012

RHONY Have Some Respect - Gowns are Present

I can't believe next week is the season finale of Real Housewives of New York. The season has really flown by. I can't say it was my favorite season, because it isn't, but we got a lot of drama plus some laughs. This is what I want from my Housewives - drama AND fun. Got that, Andy? (Cough cough New Jersey cough cough). Now, as for this week's episode, it was a huge mess. George, Aviva's dad, was wrong, wrong, wrong to ask Ramona to apologize. He needed to drop off those checks and bounce. But of course, he had to get involved. I really don't understand why Aviva would "send" him to the charity, because it makes absolutely no sense to do so. She could have sent the checks with Heather or Carole. Anywhoo, George was out of line and needed to be stopped. He would have had Ramona in the awkward ass conversation all day. And hello??? There's a fashion show going on!!!! Aint nobody got time for that conversation while gowns are present.

It's time to grade the ladies ...

Aviva: It may be the lawyer in you, but I really wish you would stop with these sit downs. You present your case but - may I approach the bench? - enough already. I love that you own everything you do and say and you admit when you're wrong, but the group of women you're dealing with play a whole other ball game. They don't want to hear how they offended you. They don't want to hear your analysis of them. And really, who would? I mean, there is nothing outrageous about what you're saying. It's the delivery that they can't take. You could call Ramona a crazy drunk, but if you do it the right way, she'll laugh and give you a hug. I love that you feel the need to state your case, but the problem is, it doesn't mesh with the show that you're on. I hate to say this, but this may not be the gig for you. Unless you're willing to just play nice and keep the closing arguments to yourself? I really do like you, though. Aviva's grade for the week: F (because her meetings with the ladies are not working and her cross examinations aren't exactly Housewives-friendly).

Ramona: No one is saying you can't party or vacation the way you want. It would be nice, though, if you could realize that not everyone parties or vacations the way you do. We're all different, and it's ok. Now, I think you knew exactly how that meeting with Aviva would go down and you were ready to skeedaddle as soon as it got rough. Maybe that's your defense mechanism, to walk away, but you have to know that Aviva is going to call you out on it. It is a little funny that you walk away as soon as it gets uncomfortable for you, just saying. But hey, if that's how you roll, maybe you shouldn't even entertain the idea of having a sit down/confrontation with anyone. Regarding George, he should not have put his hands on you. Point blank and the period. It was obvious you weren't trying to fight with him at first, but he did keep insisting that you apologize to Aviva, which you're clearly never going to do. I don't know if he required a full blown escort out the door, but you made a judgement call when you were upset, so it's understandable. Ramona's grade for the week: D (for always running away from a sticky situation instead of just hashing it out and being done with it, nothing gets resolved that way!)

Sonja: I truly felt for you with the whole settlement thing. I can see this is affecting you in a major way, not just financially, but emotionally, and my heart goes out to you. Sonja's grade for the week: Pass (she's going through a lot on this episode, so I'm gonna lay off - until next week).

Luann: It was nice of you to be there for Sonja in her time of need and you were really nice to George. I like this Luann a lot. Luann's grade for the week: A (for being a good friend).

Carole: First of all, that gold lame blouse is my new obsession. I must have it. Now, we can move on. I love that you continue to be the voice of reason on this show - you're pretty much on the money in all your confessional/interview segments. And you were smart to take George out of the charity function. That was very kind of you. Oh, and smart move not accepting his offer for a date, by the way! Carole's grade for the week: A (another stellar week for my fave).

Heather: I can't wait to see your fashion show next week and I can't wait for you to put Sonja in her place about the goddamn photo shoot that will never die. Jeez, how many more conversations can you two have about it? I guess we'll find out. Anyway, you were great at Ramona's charity function and again, you have won me over. Heather's grade for the week: A (whodathunk??)

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

RHONJ Finale and Reunion Previews

Well kids, here we are at the end of another shit-tastic season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I have to say the grand finale fell completely flat for me. I kept waiting for the "set up" and, like Kelly Ripa said on Watch What Happens Live on Sunday, it never came. So what, a guy at a party says hi to Melissa and asks if she remembers him. That I know of, he didn't lunge at her and grab the mic and proclaim to the crowd that she was a stripper, did he? Did I miss that part? I mean, when someone says "set up", I'm picturing Goodfellas/Godfather caliber stuff. This wasn't even Goodfeathers. You 90s kids know what I'm talking about.

I hate to even entertain this ridiculous "set up" bullshit because here's what, I have a terrible feeling that this was all some idiot producer's idea. Seriously. It is so convenient that they dug up Angelo the Asshole and partnered him with halfwit Kim D - probably the only two people on Earth stupid enough (or desperate enough for camera time) to agree to this. As for Teresa being in on it, who knows. She looked genuinely confused (not uncommon for her, let's be real) and really didn't seem to enjoy any of this. I do think she should have called Melissa as soon as Angelo talked to her at the salon and warned her that this guy was talking about her like that. With that creepy smile no less. Teresa said all the right things, "Don't talk about my family", for example. But that's really as far as she went with it. I saw her walking around trying to find people to confront, but again, conveniently, they weren't there.

That's why I think this wasn't Teresa's deal. Clearly, if it was, she wouldn't be able to contain her joy over some guy talking bad about her sister in law. Wait, wasn't she already doing that? So, what's the payoff again? Maybe something got screwed up and the plot didn't go as planned. I just want to see the blueprints. Because someone f*cked up.

Moving on to the other ladies (we'll get back to Teresa later), Melissa seemed way too calm when Teresa told her about her conversation with Angelo. Was it just me? Because I think I would have been a little more animated about that. In fact, she seemed almost annoyed that Teresa was sharing this information with her. Maybe because by that time, she had already been embarrassed? I don't know. That whole bathroom scene was so odd to me. I hate to say this, but what if - WHAT IF - Melissa already knew exactly who Angelo was and what he was saying??? Something about her response was so ... prepared. And THEN, she coaches Joe Gorga on what to say to his sister??? SO STUPID!!! I lost a lot of respect for her after that.

As for Caroline, it does not surprise me that she was jumping at the chance to blame Teresa for everything. Honestly, it makes sense. She and Lauren were having a blast reciting all the proof they had as to why Teresa had to have been behind this. And you know what? Fine. If it makes them feel better, go for it. I have no doubt in my mind that Teresa said Melissa was a stripper. She called her every other name in the book, so why not? It's not that far-fetched. However, I'm not sure Teresa is capable of pulling off this whole elaborate "set up". No shade, but shade. I will say, Caroline should have never showed Melissa the texts on Jacqueline's phone. First of all, she says she has no time for drama, but then she becomes an active participant in it by showing Melissa texts on someone else's phone. So, Caroline should actually say, "I choose when and how to be involved in drama". That's more accurate.

Jacqueline should have just come out and read the texts to everyone. I was getting so annoyed with all the texting and looks and little comments. JUST SAY IT!! I don't care who Jacqueline's "source" was, she should have asked them if they intended for the set up to be so goddamn boring. That's what I want to know. I don't know who Teresa pissed off, but it just seemed like it was all orchestrated to make her look like this evil mastermind (which she's not - a mastermind, I mean - evil, maybe). The face off between Jacqueline and Teresa may have been the realest part of the show, because Teresa looked truly bewildered and Jacqueline had already decided that she wanted nothing to do with Teresa. I will commend Jacqueline on not turning it into a full blown catfight, because that's what it really could have turned into. Instead, she stood her ground and Teresa went back inside the party. Now, I can't be sure if the scenes of Teresa smiling and hugging people were filmed before or after the "set up". I don't trust Bravo and their editing anymore. This whole season has been marred by hack job editing. If the fashion show happened before Teresa's Fabellini party, show us that! It makes so much more sense!

A final word on Kim D. Which "big boys" are you talking about? Angelo? Because, he seems like a big nobody, just like you.

I watched the previews of the Reunion and it just made me sad. In a way, I want the ladies to get it all out on the table, no matter how ugly it is so we can all move on. But, on the other hand, I am not looking forward to how ugly it's going to be. Teresa is obviously going after everyone just like last season's Reunion, and they're all coming for her. I would say it's time for all of the ladies to forgive, but that isn't reality. The reality is, they went on a reality show together and it ruined their relationships with each other forever.

I'm begging Bravo, Andy Cohen, and everyone reading this - get new New Jersey Housewives. Let Teresa have her cookbooks and her Fabellinis. Let Caroline have her radio show. Let Jacqueline be an Autism advocate. Let Melissa have her dance songs. Let Kathy have her dessert line. All of these ladies have accomplished something on this show. It's time to say goodbye for good to this cast. We need all new ladies who aren't mired in decades-long grudges, who can have arguments, but come back together and have fun as a group. We need the light to balance out the dark. If it's all dark, it's not entertaining, it's sad. The drama is only good when there's real friendships there to lift us back up. This is the basis of the entire Housewives franchise. Get back to that.

What did you think of the finale? Tweet me!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Not So Hot Mess

I don't know about you, but throughout this week's Real Housewives of New York, all I kept thinking was: Whaaaaa????? Seriously, the level of crazy was turned up - all the way up. I want off this friggin' island already, and I wasn't even there. I'm officially never going to St. Bart's - people go bonkers and show you their kookas for no reason. Another theme I'm noticing is: "If it's not my idea, I don't like it and I'm going to throw a fit". And my personal favorite, "If I drink excessively in front of you, don't call me out on it, no matter what." Now, I could end the blog right here, but what's the fun in that?! You know what time it is! Grades time!

Carole: I think you need to wear a sign around your neck that says: "IT'S NOT A GIRLS' TRIP!" Maybe the confusion would die down, no? You were absolutely right when you said that there were other men around - chef, butler, Tomas - and no one had a problem with that, did they? Now, about your breakdown at lunch. It was totally understandable for you to have a moment with all the plane talk. And at first I wasn't surprised no one went to console you, but then Aviva stepped up and you were able to relax with the creepy pedicure fish. As for your conversation with Heather on the beach, I think you handled it perfectly. Of course the trip changed when Aviva and Reid came - because some of the ladies took it upon themselves to get angry and change it. I think you were an awesome host - mani/pedi/massage on the last day on top of the amazing house - I'll go on vacation with you anytime. And I don't blame you for being upset with Ramona and Sonja for not showing up to the concert. They're the ones saying you all have to be together and then they ditch you the night your boyfriend is performing (the whole purpose of the trip)? You were very clear about what the trip entailed and they totally ignored you on that. By dinner, you'd definitely had enough, and it showed. Next time, just take the ladies to dinner and leave it at that. Carole's grade for the week: B (she did her best with this bunch, and no good deed goes unpunished).

Aviva: You were in full-blown ass-kicking mode this episode! And I loved it! I appreciate the fact that you didn't back down, you didn't talk behind anyone's back, and you put it all out there in the open. I really do admire that about you. You said what was on your mind and you were totally right. The trip was all about Ramona and Sonja for Ramona and Sonja. And when you had a difference of opinion with Ramonja, you defended yourself. And when I say you READ Sonja, you read her like a book, cover to cover. And if you know me, you know I love me some good reading. Although, I will say it wasn't a good idea to bring up Sonja's daughter, and I'm glad Sonja let that go. That could have been disastrous. I think we saw that you were up for having fun, just not the kind of drunken idiocy that Ramonja were involved in. Which brings us to the Anna Nicole comparison - I see where you're going with that, but damn, kinda harsh! Anywhoo, I like you and I like that you stuck to your guns the whole time. Aviva's grade for the week: B (for not taking sh*t from any of the ladies).

Heather: I think you were overwhelmed with all the bullsh*t flying around you, because there's no other explanation for you getting so upset about Carole and Aviva's double date. It was towards the end of the trip and I'm sure your nerves were frayed to say the least. I'm glad you and Carole worked it out and instead of throwing a huge fit (it was more of a tiny tantrum), you just went off on your own to calm down. Grown ups do this! Take note, ladies! And thank you for lightening the mood by jumping into the pool. At that point everyone just had to laugh, so thank you for that. Heather's grade for the week: A (for handling her stress like a grown up in the end).

Luann: You've got some nerve saying Aviva likes to talk about herself! Pot, meet kettle. You stayed in the background a lot during the episode, which is fine with me. Luann's grade for the week: C (for not being as self-aware as she should be by now).

Sonja: While I don't think you're exactly Anna Nicole Smith, I have to say I did NOT appreciate having to see your ass hanging out throughout the episode. Good Lord. I agree that Aviva was not spending time with you and the girls, but you have to understand why. Her first night was a nightmare! Of course she's not going to want to be around you and your bosom buddy! Far be it from me to tell a grown ass woman what to do, but you can't fall all over every man you see on this trip and then be surprised that people have something to say about it. I get it. This is how you have fun. Not everyone does that. You and Ramona do that. So now you know, you and Ramona vacation together and that's it. Done. I do like the fact that you stand up for yourself and say what you gotta say, but you have to be a little bit more aware of how you're coming across. The fact is, you had no problem with men being around, in the house, and pardon my language, in you. So, let's be honest. You didn't want Reid around because he's someone's husband and not a boy toy. And I know you thanked Reid and everyone knows you did. No problem there. The problem is you have no limits - and it goes beyond fun and just becomes sad. I'm not sure what you meant when you said Aviva will see where her ass ends up, but we certainly knows where yours does. Sonja's grade for the week: F (for not controlling herself).

Ramona: You've always had a problem with women who bring their husbands along unexpectedly, we get it. I even get that you knew the trip's dynamic would change and you weren't happy about it. However, you and Sonja totally embarrassed yourselves in your quest for "fun". You ladies took a perfectly wonderful vacation (note: vacation, NOT girls gone wild trip), and turned it into a drunken mess. And for you to sit there and say to Aviva that you're never drunk? Please! Maybe your tolerance for Pinot Grigio is so high that you don't think you're drunk, but you are. How could you not be! I have to address the fact that you and Sonja didn't go to the concert, which was so childish and annoying. You both did whatever you wanted the whole trip and you couldn't suck it up and go to the concert for Carole, who had been an amazing hostess? That's so wrong. I will say, at the last dinner you were more together than Sonja but not by much. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for being totally selfish and rude).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Out of Order

I'm not going to blog about Watch What Happens Live every week, but Sunday's episode with Perez Hilton and Teresa Giudice warrants a blog.

Here's why:

Teresa said Joe Giudice was talking to his driver on the phone in the Napa episode where he called her a "bitch" and another disgusting word I won't repeat. Then she said he was talking to a worker. Oh my God. Can we say "DENIAL"??? Let's be real. He was NOT talking to his driver or a worker or anyone work-related. That was clearly a conversation with a woman. His tone, his choice of words, all of it points to the fact that it was a woman on the other end of that phone call. And I have a big problem with her stating that it was anyone other than a woman because the fact is - she has no idea who it was. None of us do. Joe Giudice is not going to tell her the truth, so she shouldn't have said anything about it. Now, she looks terribly dumb for believing her husband A) couldn't remember calling her those names and B) somehow remembers exactly who he was talking to at the time. Come the f*ck on. And, to top it off, she says he "made up for it" with diamonds. Barf. Teresa, why must you infuriate me so???

I was glad to see Perez apologize to Sarah Jessica Parker as requested by Andy because he was really brutal with her back in the day. I think Perez does see where he was wrong in the past, and he has changed his website a lot. It is still gossip, but not nearly as mean-spirited as before. I like that Andy had him on and they were able to have a good conversation even though they don't see eye to eye on everything. See, this is how adults behave.

Back to Teresa. She was slamming Lauren and Al Manzo for having lap band surgery while congratulating Perez on losing weight naturally. Period. It was a "joke", but again, it was clearly a dig at people that she's no longer friends with. WHY??? Why even go there??? Why not just congratulate Perez and leave it at that? This is exactly why people can't stand Teresa. The horse is dead and buried and she digs it up and beats it again. Get over the Manzos, Teresa. Stop talking about them and then pretending you didn't - we've all been to high school. This kind of bullsh*t just shows that you're still not 100% over the Manzos and you will continue to slam them every chance you get. Not very mature, huh?

The After Show was not great, but if you want to check it out, here you go.

And a quick note about the Real Housewives of New Jersey: Bravo, WTF??? How dare you show these shows out of order and purposely give the audience a skewed view of how all of these events unfolded??? How are we supposed to have a clear picture of the cast when you deliberately air portions of footage that happened out of sequence? This is not fair to your cast or your audience. We deserve to see things as they truly happened, not in the order that best serves your "storylines". This is crazy. And if you continue to shoot/film/air the show like you did this season, I cannot and will not watch.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Fabellini Fallout

This week's Real Housewives of New Jersey was a nice change of pace in the sense that there was no direct fighting, just lots of talking behind each other's backs. Which is more fun, anyway! I loved the scenes of the kids' first day of school. That was really cute, and I loved seeing the Giudices and Gorgas in parent mode. I have to say those were very lovely scenes, probably because they were focused on the kids and not the parents. I also thought the mani/pedi outing with the girls and Melissa was super cute. These light-hearted scenes really help me get through the episode without getting a migraine. Also, the college tour with the Wakiles was nice. I can't believe they didn't recognize the White House, though. Really? Let's get into the real meat and potatoes of the episode, shall we?

Caroline: I really can't understand why you say Teresa is to blame for all the pain in your life at this point and the fact that you and Dina don't talk. It takes two to tango, and if Dina doesn't talk to you, it's because she doesn't want to. I don't buy this whole Teresa-is-driving-a-wedge-between-myself-and-family-members stuff. Teresa can say whatever she wants, if your family members believe it, it's just as much their doing as it is hers. They have a choice in the matter. So, I can't be on your side with this. I say, deal with Dina and get things figured out, and leave Teresa completely out of it. By including her in your falling out with Dina, you keep the bad blood flowing between everyone. It's time to stop. I was really happy for you when you went to do your Sirius radio show. However, it didn't seem like you had specific topics prepared so you went straight for the camping trip, knowing people would call in asking how it went and who you had problems with. I'm assuming you couldn't give details because you were still filming, so why even bring up the camping trip? You had your husband and your kids there, why not talk about running a family business or sibling rivalry (your kids)? Regarding your talk with Melissa, I think you should listen to her. You went after Teresa pretty hard the last night of the California trip, now it's time to let the chips fall where they may and not say another word about it. Caroline's grade for the week: D (because the radio show (what we saw) fell flat and I don't think she's being completely honest with herself about her real problems with Dina).

Jacqueline: I totally understand where you're coming from regarding the Fabellini launch party. You and Teresa had made up, you didn't get involved in the Caroline fight, and you stayed out of Teresa's way when she left. You didn't do anything or say anything to make her not invite you. So, it is confusing that she would purposely not invite you. Not to mention hurtful. You also said she didn't talk to you after the California trip. Could it be because you didn't defend her against Caroline, you were automatically on the outs again? If so, you're better off not being friends with her at all. It seems as if Teresa only wants friends who A) tell her what she wants to hear, B) defend her no matter what, whether she's right or wrong, or C) agree with everything she says and does. Let Teresa be Teresa and you just be you. Your conversation with Melissa pretty much said it all. Jacqueline's grade for the week: B (because at this point she was dealing with her son's autism and that's why she was over all of the drama).

Kathy: I loved the scenes with you and your family discussing Victoria's college plans. It was very cool to see all of you supporting her together. No matter where she goes to school, I have a feeling you won't have to worry too much about her. She's got her head on straight. I was glad to see your conversation with Teresa went well, you vented to her, she vented with you, and no one got hurt. I think you two are improving your communication skills. It just seems like the conversation has to be just the two of you without anyone else around for it to be effective. Don't know how long it'll last, but hey, progress is progress. Kathy's grade for the week: B (for having a decent conversation with Teresa).

Melissa: I'm not sure why you found it necessary to go on a grand tour and talk to all of the ladies about the fight between Caroline and Teresa, but you made some great points along the way. I commend you for defending Teresa (somewhat) with Caroline, but again, I'm not sure why you had to go to everyone's house just to talk about that. Were you trying to make sure everyone knew you were on Teresa's side? I mean, you left with her, so it was pretty obvious. I'm confused ... Melissa's grade for the week: C (because I can't figure out why she's doing all this campaigning).

Teresa: Ok, here we go. Why not invite Jacqueline to your Fabellini party? You had just made up on the California trip and it would have been a great sign of good faith that you were in this friendship for real. If you had doubts about the friendship, you should have said so. Period. As for Dina, I'm glad you are still friends with her. She's an adult and can do whatever she wants. However, it is a little sad that all you talked about (that we saw) was Caroline. Stop talking about it. I told her the same thing. If everyone would just let it go, you'd all be a lot happier. I don't think you mean to hurt anyone's feelings, but you do just blurt stuff out without even thinking how the other person is going to feel when they hear it (they always do). I say, own it. Own the fact that what you said in the cookbook was not cool. I've said this in a million other blogs, so I won't repeat myself. But you know what I mean. Listen to Dina and stop all the fighting. Maybe she's the only one who can get through to you. Teresa's grade for the week: C (because she keeps this stuff going and then acts like she has no idea why things are shitty).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

My Watch What Happens Live Essay

Why I am WWHL’s biggest fan: I've watched Watch What Happens Live since night one, with Danielle Staub, her massive green skirt, and sweet white wine - with a straw. I love the whole fun, quirky vibe of the clubhouse, and of course, Mr. Andy Cohen. I've been told I'm the female Andy Cohen, which was a major compliment. I believe Andy and I would have an amazing time in the clubhouse together. We have a similar sense of humor and I really enjoy him. I've never missed an episode of WWHL or an After Show. I've called in numerous times and actually got to talk to SJP, Giuliana Rancic, and Mark Ruffalo. Each time has been absolutely wonderful. I am a complete Bravo-holic (I've read at least four Housewife-penned books - now, that's dedication), and I blog and tweet about several Bravo shows. But don't worry, I'm not one of the mean bloggers who spread rumors. I just comment on the shows (with love and sass). If I'm chosen, I won't just be serving drinks. I'll be serving feisty, fabulous banter along with immense gratitude and appreciation for this opportunity - and a side pony, just for Andy.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

No Love Lost

The conclusion of the Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Reunion this week was really more of the same, but entertaining as hell. What are we gonna do? Just sit back and enjoy the ridiculousness.

I just have to laugh about the whole Shay exchange with Lil Scrappy. Did she really expect him to treat her better than he treats his baby's mother??? Stop it, boo.

I loved that Joseline put it out there that she does not want Stevie as a boyfriend. She's using him just as much as he uses her. Hey, it's f*cked up, but at least it's honest. That scene with Joseline's parents was really sad and it makes me believe even more that she just acts the way she does as a defense mechanism. Stevie J is a disgusting human being. I have no sympathy for anything that happens to him. Mimi - you better just co-parent with him and leave it at that. And I don't think you need him at all.

Momma Dee made a huge fool out of herself, especially with that ridiculous crown. And how did Mona not call her out on not knowing how to spell "bitch"???

Erica accepted Scrappy's proposal. Why? Just ... WHY???

Karlie Redd called Benzino "A Polygamous" ... ummm ... someone needs to get her hooked on phonics with Momma Dee and Mama Jones at this point. Oy vey.

I will be watching next season for sure because believe it or not, this show makes me laugh. Don't judge me.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Bad Vibes

Someone hold me because this week's Real Housewives of New York has got me all kinds of upset. Let's just start with this - travelling with people you don't know very well is a nightmare. Everyone has their own idea of what the trip should be, and most of the time, no one is on the same page. You'd think in a place as gorgeous as St. Bart's it would be a breeze to just let the drama go and have a good time, but not with this bunch. It's a shame, really, because they're bickering over nothing. And a little common courtesy would have resolved this whole mess. Let's begin. 

Aviva: I empathize with you for some reason, even though I don't suffer (as many) phobias (that I know of). And I totally understand why you needed your husband there for you - you're afraid of planes! You deal with your phobias your own way. I don't even mind that you brought your husband because his intentions were to get you there and get some work done, not ruin the girls' trip. It is insulting that some of the ladies were making plans to rid themselves of your husband before he even had a chance to tell them he wanted nothing to do with them. And I don't think you were even mad about the whole topless thing - it was the hotel thing. That's what did it. You made all this effort to come and then you find out that Ramona and Sonja were plotting to ask your husband to leave??? Not cool. Now, I don't know why you called them "white trash", because that part of the scene seemed very chopped up (what the eff with the editing, Bravo?!), so it didn't quite make sense when we saw it. I would love to know what prompted you to say that - or at least what the conversation was before that comment came out. Either way, you stood up for yourself and your husband and frankly (my new favorite word, thanks to you), if I were you I would have gone to a resort with my husband and flipped Ramonja the bird on my way out. But you stayed and went to dinner and even called Ramona out on wanting to move your seat. LOL! Aviva's grade for the week: B (for dealing with her phobias and for going toe to toe with Ramonja). 

Luann: You do have a way of saying the one thing that's going to incite an argument, you know that, right? I mean, you could have stayed out of Aviva and Ramonja's conversation all together, but that would have been no fun for you. Plus, you had to keep the focus off of you and your whole Tomas/Italian friends fiasco. So, you diverted the attention elsewhere and threw the grenade. It was smart, I'll give you that. Necessary? Not really. Because Ramona was going to keep having an attitude about Reid being there no matter what and Aviva was going to defend him being there no matter what. But good job getting the heat off you. Luann's grade for the week: B (for making sure she wasn't in the hotseat anymore).

Carole: I don't blame you for telling Carole that you can't ask Ramonja to leave. If you played into that, it'd be a whole Scary Island Part II up in this bitch and you don't need that. Seriously, you handled it the best way possible. And it sucks you missed Russ' rehearsal because of all the back and forth. I LOVED when you piped up on the stairs and yelled out that you could hear everything! So funny, but I'm sure it was very annoying at the time. This'll teach you to plan a girls' trip with these ladies. Maybe Heather was on to something in London after all ... Carole's grade for the week: A (for keeping calm and carrying on).

Heather: I really have begun to enjoy you. These last few episodes you've made a lot of sense and you haven't been super annoying at all. I love it. Just keep doing what you're doing. You really didn't have anything to do with the fight and you were a good friend to Carole. Nice job. Heather's grade for the week: A (because I like her now!)

Sonja: I hope you realize how ... sad this whole persona is that you've created for yourself. No one's saying you can't be saucy and fun and flirty, but you threw yourself at Tomas. After Luann allegedly had him the night before. Barf. Seriously, no wonder you two had no problem swapping Harry back in the day. That is so disgusting - and so unnecessary. You're lonely. We get it. But this whole swinging singles thing you're doing is beneath you. You're a gorgeous, smart, funny lady. Why can't you treat yourself with some dignity and not fall all over every cute boy you see? It's really confusing to me. Now, let's talk about your conversation with Aviva. I understood why you wanted to smooth things over with her and help her understand that you and Ramona actually wanted to get a hotel room for the two of you - not for him. But, let's be real, at one point you WERE talking about how to ask him to leave. That's true. At this point, if I were you I would look around and ask myself: "Is this really how I want to present myself to the world?" I'm all for fun, but you and Ramona take fun and turn it into an excuse to be completely out of control. And that is not sexy. Sonja's grade for the week: D (for trying to play both sides when it's obvious she's just lost).

Ramona: So disappointed. Really. I understand you got the hotel for you and Sonja - and that's what you should have lead with. You should have been at your hotel when Aviva and Reid got to Carole's house. You should have come to Carole's when you were all done with your topless antics. Because no one needed or wanted to see that. But you were making a point. This was a girls' trip - according to you. Carole made no secret about the fact that Russ was going to be around. You could have asked Mario to come along but you didn't want to - maybe because you wanted alone time with Sonja (no problem!), but again, YOUR CHOICE. I'm pretty sick of hearing you say that Reid was going to ruin the vibe of the trip because here's what: YOU are ruining the vibe of the trip. Between you and Sonja not keeping your hands off each other, you constantly running your mouth about every little thing, including Luann and Tomas, and let's not forget drinking and drinking and drinking ... you're no picnic! Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's none of your business who brings their boyfriends or husbands along for the trip? First of all, it's not your trip - you didn't organize it. Second, you can invite your husband to join you. And third, you can leave. Which you should have done. You and Sonja go to your other hotel/resort/whatever, and have your own girls trip and shut the eff up already. Also, I would commend you for apologizing to Aviva but then you had to say in your confessional/interview that you just did it to placate her and then you wanted to move her seat at dinner. So none of it was genuine. You weren't sorry and you still aren't. I don't think you're white trash, Ramona, but I do think you're extremely rude and selfish. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for so many things, it's not even funny).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!