Friday, February 1, 2013

If Anyone Is Gonna Stab Someone ... - GG - Shahs of Sunset

Well, when it comes to this week's Shahs of Sunset, there's really only one thing to discuss (ok maybe a couple but one really big thing) - THAT DINNER! THE KNIFE! OMG! I can't believe next week is the season finale and there are so many unresolved issues with this group. The Reunion cannot get here fast enough. So let's jump into the grades.

GG: I LOVED your scene with the therapist. This is the kind of scene I want to see from you every single week. With that being said, why did you go get that knife at dinner? Were you thinking it would shock Omid into calming down? I need clarification. I'm also mystified as to why you would blatantly ignore Asa like that. All you had to do was say hello and be civil. As a sign of good faith that you were there to make peace. By you ignoring her like that it set a negative tone between you and her, and as we saw on the preview for next week, your conversation with her does not go well. GG's grade for the week: D (she did great in therapy but I need to know why she ignored Asa and then pulled the knife out).

MJ: The scenes with your mom were so emotional, but also ended up being very uplifting. I really hope you two are in a better place now. The therapist spelled it out for your mother in such a beautiful way - I just loved all of that communication. The boot camp scene with Mike and Reza was hilarious! And you look awesome - don't let anyone tell you that you don't. Women would kill to have a bust like yours (and mine) - big busted girl power! LOL! I gotta talk about the dinner - you really stepped up and tried to stop the insanity. I'm proud of you for being such a good friend. MJ's grade for the week: A (this is the MJ I love!).

Lilly: First of all, I am so sorry that Ali's friend found it necessary to come into YOUR place of business and tell YOU why you're not married. It was complete bullshit. You're a successful businesswoman and you have nothing to be ashamed about. If Ali can't tell you to your face that your business embarrasses him, that's a huge red flag. I say, walk away from Ali and cut ties with "friends" that don't support you. You're doing nothing wrong by pursuing your goals. If other people have a problem with it, it's exactly that - THEIR problem. It was cool of you to come to the dinner and it looked like you were getting along with everyone, so that made me happy. Lilly's grade for the week: A (stay strong, sister!).

Asa: I felt for you in the scene at the studio, I can't even imagine how nervous you were. But hopefully the song comes out great and Persiapalooza is a success. I can't wait to see how your performance goes next week. Regarding GG, you were standing there and she totally ignored you. That would have pissed me off, too. Some people just aren't meant to be friends. Life goes on. You're smart to focus on what you're doing and leave all that in the past. Asa's grade for the week: A (she's justified in not caring to associate with GG anymore).

Mike: You actually kind of scared me this week because I could see the rage you had for Omid. It was crazy. I'm glad you didn't fight him because nothing good would have come of it. You two would have continued to talk shit about each other after anyway. I hated seeing you that angry, Omid's not worth it. Moving on, it was cool of you to be Reza and MJ's personal trainer for the day. Maybe you should do a workout DVD!!! Mike's grade for the week: C (he let his anger get the best of him, but at least it didn't get physical).

Reza: No good deed goes unpunished, and you found that out firsthand this week. I mean, you did great getting everyone together. But no one would have guessed that good old Omid was gonna be the one to fuck everything up. I'm proud of you for communicating with GG and letting her know that you're there for her. It could have ended up so much better if Omid hadn't been there. Reza's grade for the week: A (he really tried to get things back on track).

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This Bitch Done Lost It - Nene Leakes - RHOA

First of all, sorry for the delay, kids. Life is trying to drag me down again but I will not be deterred from giving you my blog about RHOA. Now, it may be brief, but I'm gonna tell these ladies what I came to tell them. I have my Mountain Stream white noise on in my earphones so nothing is going to distract me from getting these blogs posted today. Thank you for all your support, by the way. It means more to me than you know.

Let's get right into the drama - Kenya's stunt at the ShoeDazzle event. PRICELESS! FUNNY! But totally unnecessary. I did pause the DVR and laugh my ass off, though. I appreciate absurdity especially in reality tv and that was about as absurd as it gets. Everyone's reactions were hilarious to me, so this episode makes it into my top 10 easily. Thank you, ladies, for the laughs. Now let's hand out some grades.

Kenya: Let's start with your lunch date with Porsha. I think it's telling that you are so worried about what Phaedra is telling Porsha about you - I honestly didn't think Porsha meant that much to you, much less Phaedra. Your real target was Phaedra, so you might as well have had her there, too. But you knew you would be confronting her at Nene's event later, right? The way you spoke to Porsha was pretty shitty, I mean, the girl was letting you know she still had beef with you regardless of anything Phaedra had to say and you dismissed all of that and got rude. No surprise. There is no talking to you, unless of course, it's to tell you you're right. Never gonna happen with Porsha so that's done and done. But the name calling needs to stop. Just saying. You got your revenge with Phaedra and made your point, and while it was funny as hell - I will never say it wasn't funny because it was - it was over the top for sure. You not only made your point, you highlighted it then circled it in red sharpie. We get it, Kenya! But it honestly only made you look crazier. Not the effect you were hoping for. I don't think you're necessarily an alcoholic, I just think you are attention-hungry and possibly in need of anger management. And that's putting it nicely. Kenya's grade for the week: D (she made me laugh but damn, she really let this bullshit get to her and it's not attractive).

Phaedra: So, it's been reported that you really don't know Tyler Perry, but I'm not really shocked that you told another fib. I like you but you do have a way of stretching the truth. Speaking of stretching, your photoshoot for the Donkey Booty DVD was hilarious and very entertaining. And of course, pretty raunchy. I think you ended up with a great cover for it, though. It makes sense that you would shop around for a distribution deal, I just wish you would have made that more clear to Kenya before so we wouldn't have had to endure her wrath. I was proud of you for telling Kenya exactly what you thought of her to her face at the ShoeDazzle event. Regardless of how much she was making fun of you, you stood your ground and said everything to her face. It wasn't worth it to get into who is relevant and who isn't. You two are both on the same show so there's no reason to discuss who's doing who a favor. At this point, you're both in the spotlight so just leave it at that. Phaedra's grade for the week: B (she's more concerned with her business which is how it should be, but she should have spelled everything out for Kenya much sooner and to her face instead of behind her back).

Cynthia: I hate to say it but you pissed me off this week. First, let me congratulate you on the pageant. It's a brilliant idea and I know it'll be super successful. But, why on Earth would you ask Porsha to help you and then do nothing but complain about her? I mean, it's clear you wanted the sponsorship from Porsha's charity, but I'd like to think that wasn't your only motive. Surely you saw something of value in Porsha to ask her to help you out. But the digs you were throwing in your interviews were just not necessary (it's not like she has a job, she's already confused, this isn't dress up, if I wanted a singer I would've asked Kandi). All this leads me to believe you wanted her to be a silent assistant - which you should have made clear to her before she showed up to the venue with you and Cy (who's adorable, by the way). If Porsha isn't bringing anything to the table, let her know and cut her loose. Period. Now, let's talk about the dinner with the girls. Here's where I have an issue with you. YOU ASKED PHAEDRA ABOUT KENYA. Ok? You asked Phaedra about Kenya, then you got so offended when the girls started talking shit about her. WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN??? Stop asking about shit and then complaining when people answer you! The golf date with Kenya was just another opportunity to tell her what the others said about her, which seemed kind of staged to me, but whatever. I still love you, but the comments in your interviews and the going back and forth between Kenya and the other ladies is not going to end well. Just know that now. If you answer for it and own it at the reunion, it'll all be fine. Don't make excuses, just own it and stand behind everything you said. Cynthia's grade for the week: D (she should have just taken Porsha's sponsorship without involving her in the planning of the pageant, and she should not be the middle-man between Kenya and the rest of the cast. That's the worst possible place to be, and she put herself there).

Porsha: I was proud of you for standing up for yourself with Kenya at that almost-lunch you two had. Good for you! It spiraled out of control very quickly but at least you were able to get some funny parting words in (Bye, Ashy!), LOL! You were having lots of fun at the pageant venue with Cynthia, but you gotta remember that it's her event and if she asked you for help, you gotta come through for her. Hopefully you do, because it didn't sound like she had much faith in you. Sorry 'bout it. Now, you know you were saved by the sitar at that restaurant. If you say your voice is a Beyonce/Mary J/Rihanna "congloberation", WE ARE GONNA WANT TO HEAR IT!! You cannot be shy about singing when you bill yourself like that! So, I want to hear you sing and I want to hear it soon. Lastly, your reaction to Kenya's mockery of Phaedra was priceless. Can I get some wine??? YAAASSSS!!!! Porsha's grade for the week: C (she held her own with Kenya but she should have belted for those ladies at dinner!)

Nene: Shout out to Interior Illusions!!! You Drag Race fans know what I'm talking about. You and Gregg were hilarious in the store. Gregg has such an old man sense of humor, I swear. Your acting coach is bad ass! I love her! I'm glad you're taking acting to the next level, and I hope we do see you win some awards in the future! I honestly think it would be so cool for a HW to make it to that point. Your ShoeDazzle event was going great until Kenya busted in (and busted out if you know what I mean), and your reaction gave me my title for this week's blog, so thank you. I hope you took Kenya aside and read her for bringing her shenanigans to your party. Not cool. Nene's grade for the week: A (she's staying busy and keeping her cool despite Kenya's antics).

Kandi: Thank you for once again trying to explain to Kenya why it was wrong of her to go after Phaedra's product. Not that she listened to you, AGAIN. But you tried. As for your comments about Porsha's singing, maybe give her a chance to show you what she can do. I understand why you're skeptical, though. It cracked me up when Bravo showed us that you and Todd had picked Cash for your future son's name - because that's how you pay for everything (bloop!) ... especially because Kim decided to name her son Kash. But hey, there's nothing wrong with two kids having similar names. I LOVED that you and Nene were so friendly at her charity event and that you left the Talls vs. Smalls stuff in the past. It's probably a lot easier to get along with the cast without certain people pulling you towards their side for their own selfish reasons. Kandi's grade for the week: B+ (she is not backing down with Kenya and I love that).

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Y'All Can't Handle Me - Roxxxy Andrews - RuPaul's Drag Race Season V

Hello, my lovelies! It's Friday and you know what that means! I'm so happy RuPaul's Drag Race is back. There is something so magical about this show, I'm telling you. It brings me so much joy to see what the queens come up with for the challenge and also for their runway looks. Not to mention the SHADE OF IT ALL! Ah, the shade is magnificent. Glorious, really. But I digress. Let's talk about the premiere episode for just a moment. The queens had to do an underwater photoshoot with the YUMMY Mike Ruiz. I'll mention the specifics later when I rate the queens individually, but it reminded me of season 1 when the girls got doused with hoses while washing cars in the first episode. Memories! The main challenge was super cute - a tour bus ride through Bev Hills (complete with a cameo from Camille Grammer, HOLLA!) followed by dumpster diving for fashion. The gurls mopped everything they could get their hands on returned to the workroom to turn their trash into red carpet couture.

I have to talk about this season's cast - SUCH A FUN GROUP!! I love most of the personalities, all of the drama, and I get to be in awe of all the fishiness. There's something for everyone - there are serious queens, mean queens, annoying queens, funny queens, kooky queens, and of course, drama queens. I honestly love each and every one of them. So, I won't be giving grades, but simply assessing whether or not I think they'll last in the competition. Once we get down to a smaller number of queens, the more traditional grades will be handed out.

This week's guest judges were Camille Grammer and Mike Ruiz, which Mike should just be on the panel permanently (Santino can go, sorry not sorry). And my mutha Michelle Visage was radiant this week, as always. I love her speaking Spanish, too! Que bella, indeed!

RuPaul, as always, was a delight. I can't tell you how much I love RuPaul for bringing us this show, so I'll just leave it at - Ru is EVERYTHING. Enough said.

In alphabetical order:

Alaska (Thunderfuck): Personality-wise, you made a great impression in my opinion. You were personable, you poked fun at yourself, you were the first one naked (and per Coco, you're well endowed, so points for that), and you pulled it together for the runway quite nicely. The one thing that bugged me was when you gave up in the tank. That pissed me off, as did your whining. How dare you give up like that??? At that moment I was like, disqualified! BUT, you proved that you're still in this thing. Just don't ever quit like that again. If you focus up, you will most likely stay in the competition. I'm predicting at least top 5 for you.

Alyssa Edwards: Well, you certainly bring drama and intrigue, that's for sure! I was not impressed with your runway look, but I'm hoping you have more to show us as the show goes on. I don't doubt you have major performance skills so I'm looking forward to seeing that, too. The whole thing with Coco is already getting old, so you might as well bite the bullet and have the big argument and get it over with. Delaying it isn't gonna help anyone. As far as you taking from the other girls' styles for runway, it didn't really bother me that much, surprisingly - I'm guessing you were nervous and kind of panicked and tried to incorporate everything you could so you would make it through. Just don't make a habit out of it. I'm predicting at least top 10 for you.

Coco Montrese: You cracked me up on this episode. You had awesome one liners and very clever quips, which as everyone knows, if you make me laugh, I'm pretty much gonna love you. I loved your runway look because it was one of the more off beat looks of the bunch. The tension with Alyssa needs to be resolved right away so we can see other storylines develop throughout the season. You are obviously a talented queen, so I'm predicting at least top 7 for you.

Detox: Definitely one of the best queens of life, much less this show. Your resume speaks for itself and I am a fan. I love your looks and your attitude - even though it can be shady, I love it. I want to see shade, I want to see claws coming out, and that's exactly what you're giving me. Your runway look was great, but I know you will be showing us major glamour all season. I cannot wait. You were the winner of the mini-challenge, which was no surprise because that pic was flawless. I'm predicting top 3 for you.

Honey Mahogany: I fell in LOVE with you on this episode! I LIVED for your entrance look (and even though Detox said it wasn't polished, I think it was). Your runway was great and your underwater photo was very good. I know you can give us more and I'm just hoping you excel above and beyond because I'm just in awe of you at this point. I'm predicting at least top 4 for you.

Ivy Winters: Can I just say, the way Ru says your name is EVERYTHING!!! Now, you are the Mistress Seamstress this season. Please use that to your advantage! I don't want to see you get lost in the crowd, but I'm super afraid that it's going to happen. Come hard next week, lady! I'm predicting at least top 12 or you.

Jade Jolie: You made a big impression on the premiere for sure. Not only did you shut it down with Serena, but your runway look caused a lot of ruckus with the judges. I love your bubbly personality and your bluntness when it comes to stating your opinion, but I want you to stay focused on getting as far as you can in this competition. You don't want to be known for going back and forth with Serena - you want to be known for giving us eleganza extravaganza! I'm predicting at least top 8 for you.

Jinkx Monsoon: My GURL! I am LOVING you this season!!! I was so proud of you for surviving the underwater photoshoot even though it was clear you couldn't swim AND you lost BOTH of your contacts. You are so friggin' likable, it's crazy. I love that you're so open with your narcolepsy because it is part of your life and you're honest about it. Again, likable! I cannot wait to see you doing Edie from Grey Gardens in Snatch Game - I can already tell you're gonna hit it out of the park. Your runway look wasn't super exciting, but I'm hoping you have better looks coming. I'm predicting at least top 9 for you.

Lineysha Sparx: My Puerto Rican Queen!!! You are living up to all the standards set by your sisters Nina Flowers, Jessica Wild, Alexis Mateo, Yara Sofia, and many more. I am loving everything you're bringing this season. Your underwater photo was sickening and your runway look was gorgeous. The personality is there and the shade is there. You are the total package, just like the judges said. I predict top 3 for you!

Monica Beverly Hillz: With a Z! LOL! I am really looking forward to seeing you blossom this season. You have great style and of course, great face, but there is something holding you back. I want you to kick whatever doubts you have to the curb and give us everything. I believe in you! I'm predicting at least top 11 for you.

Penny Tration: I was so sorry to see you go first, but I know you had a lot more to give us. It's a shame that things went down like that. But, you showed us a lot of personality and style and we love you for it. The runway look was harsh in some ways and your padding was a little off, and in all honesty, I know in my heart you could have done better. We just don't know why you made some of the choices you did for your runway look. Hopefully you can come back a la Shangela? You made it to the show and that's awesome because so many more people got to know you. You were gracious and humble and your attitude as you were leaving is one of the best we've ever seen.

Roxxxy Andrews: You are giving me face, FACE, FACE! And I love it! You also gave me this week's title, so thank you! LOL! Your makeup dress is fab, hunty, and don't you let these bitches forget it! I'm so excited to see what you give us every week. I haven't been this taken with a queen since probably Yara Sofia. Honestly. You are stunning. The runway look - bangin'. And the side cut-outs, super hot. I loved the makeup, and I'm not a big fan of black lips, but your mug was beat for the gods. I'm expecting big wins from you from now on. I'm predicting top 3 for you, my dear.

Serena Cha Cha: Well, you didn't give us much to enjoy about you, but you are super young. So, congrats on getting here at the tender age of 21. That is a huge accomplishment. Your attitude, not so much. You came across as full of yourself and to be frank, disrespectful. The erratic and annoying behavior in the workroom was very unnecessary. I don't know what actually led to you screaming/singing, but it was not cute, hun. Your runway look was not as great as it could have been. And your underwater photo was just your legs (I think Mike called them "frogs legs" - not good). I hate to be negative, because your face is so pretty, but I don't think you will continue after next week. I may be wrong.

Vivienne Pinay: Gorgeous! And fierce! I really loved your Bettie Page entrance look, which worked amazingly well with the underwater photo. And your runway look was really cute. I loved that you gave it to Serena and let her know exactly what you were thinking about her behavior. You have an amazing look and I really can't wait to see what you do in the upcoming challenges. I'm predicting top 6 for you.

So, there you have it! Here's the list in order of my rankings:

Roxxxy Andrews - Top 3
Lineysha Sparx - Top 3
Detox - Top 3
Honey Mahogany - Top 4
Alaska Thunderfuck - Top 5
Vivienne Pinay - Top 6
Coco Montrese - Top 7
Jade Jolie - Top 8
Jinkx Monsoon - Top 9
Alyssa Edwards - Top 10
Monica Beverly Hillz - Top 11
Ivy Winters - Top 12
Serena Cha Cha - Top 13

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