Saturday, February 4, 2012


This week on Jersey Shore, Mike explores the difference between being the nice guy and being the villain. Which one will he actually choose? Hmmm! Yeah, we all know. Anyway, Snooki battles a UTI and gets a visit from her father, who seems like an awesome guy. Jenni has problems with Roger. Vinny's still getting used to being back at the Shore House. Deena gets electrocuted, too, by the way. So much more happened, so let's get into it right now.

Snooki: I don't know whether to believe that you were being nice to Mike this week out of the goodness of your heart, or if you were trying to get in his head and play mind games with him. At first, I thought you were being sincere, and all you really said was that Mike should confront whoever he thinks is talking about him, but there was more to that conversation, apparently. Mike said on the Hook Up that you specifically said that Pauly was talking about him, and Deena pretty much confirmed it. Now, I understand, you were being real with the kid and probably told him everyone talks about him, including Pauly. Because they do! Everyone talks about him. What I don't understand is why Mike is so fixated on bringing you down. Maybe he's upset you two didn't end up together and your success is at a much higher level than his. Whatever the reason, I love that you just keep it moving. You are yourself and you don't apologize for it - UTI, peeing yourself, forgetting your dad's visit, whatever it is. Not that any of that is particularly admirable, but it is funny and makes for good tv, which is why I love you! Snooki's grade for the week: B-.

JWOWW: I'm so glad you had a storyline this week that didn't include playing mommy to the other girls in the house. Roger is playing games with you and I don't like it one bit. I read your book (The Rules According to JWOWW), and in the book you said you and Roger had a rough patch and that you two were trying to work it out. I don't think this was during this season just because of the timing of it, but every couple has their ups and downs. I'm glad you two are still together, but I definitely want you to work it out. I love you and Roger together. He better have a good excuse for being such a jerk. I can't wait for you to give him the business on next week's show. You go, girl! Jenni's grade for the week: A.

Sammi: You had a pretty tame week this week, but that doesn't mean I forgot about you. You're being a good friend to the girls, you're getting along with everyone, including Ron, and so far, so good. I'm glad we haven't seen bratty Sam come out. Keep it up! You're so likable this season. You and Deena talking about electricity was one of the funniest conversations ever on reality tv. Hilarious. Sammi's grade for the week: A.

Deena: It's called electricity, not electronics. But I'm not judging you, sweetheart. There's something so childlike about you - I just can't get mad at you when you say some of the things you say on the show. I think you're hilarious. I loved the bunny costume pranks you did with Snooki, too, by the way. You bring joy to the house where some of the roommates can sometimes get sucked into the drama too much. Just keep being you, because I enjoy every minute of it. And be careful with those blow dryers from now on! Deena's grade for the week: B+.

Ronnie: Forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but your facial expressions are everything. You've been super funny on every episode this season, and I love it. Happy Ronnie is the best ever. Ronnie's grade for the week: A.

Pauly: You are such a typical guy. When Mike confronts you about talking about him (or having a problem with him), you smile and say everything is fine. You know you make fun of him with the other guys! But of course, you don't say that. You just laugh it off. Now, I'm not saying that's bad, I'm just saying that could have been a great moment for you to call Mike out on his foolishness and let him know he does get on everyone's nerves, not just Snooki. But maybe you were just trying to be nice and avoid making him feel worse. I get it, but seriously, it would have been nice if you would have just been real with Mike for a second. Pauly's grade for the week: C.

Vinny: You're still adjusting to being back in the craziness that is the Jersey Shore, and by adjusting, I mean, making out with random girls in da club. You're still kind of moody, so check that. And just have fun! I hope your anxiety is better. Vinny's grade for the week: B-.

Mike: I left you for last because I want to put off talking about you as long as possible. You're exhausting! You're up, you're down, you're back up ... Oy vey! Just get over the petty sh*t and grow up. I definitely like you better when you're nice. But everyone can see it's not sincere. Work on yourself and see how people react differently to you. I'm so glad this is the last season of Jersey Shore. Maybe after the show is over you'll find your true self and leave this "Situation" bullsh*t in the past forever. Mike's grade for the week: F.

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