Thursday, February 23, 2012


This week's Real Housewives of Orange County was busting at the seams with the green eyed monster I like to call JEALOUSY. Are we really going here at this age, ladies? The immature meter may have shattered with this episode. We have Vicki and Alexis jealous of Gretchen and Tamra's friendship, Tamra jealous of Eddie and Vicki high-fiving, and Alexis jealous of Heather's whole existence. Pitiful.

Let's go.

Heather: I'm still not sure how to feel about you. You admit you're very picky, but you blame it on being from New York. You send food back at restaurants 90% of the time, according to your husband. I just can't with that. You know you're getting your food back with spit on it, right? Anyway, I thought you were super nice to the girls by having that painting party. That's something I would have enjoyed. And it wasn't like they were painting the side of a house or anything. They were being taught to draw a cute picture by a professional. I love it! I think the ladies were just thrown because they're not used to activities where drinking is not the main event. I was put off by your little tantrum at the end of the party, though. Sure, your husband is annoying, but do you have to react like a total child about it? No one chased after you to find out what was wrong, so take that as a hint that the theatrics have no effect on these women. Like I said, I'm still on the fence about you. Heather's grade for the week: C.

Alexis: Wow. I didn't think you could possibly be more childish, but apparently, you are! Just because Gretchen and Tamra are friends doesn't mean she loves you any less. But seriously, how old are we that we even need to be having this conversation? Soooo stupid. Alexis' grade for the week: F.

Vicki: You should be the most mature of the bunch, but you're acting like the biggest brat of them all. It's so disappointing to see you literally cringe at the sight of Tamra being nice to Gretchen. Then you diss Tamra at the painting party and don't even say goodbye to her. That's just wrong. Instead of trying to control everyone and everything, why don't you focus on yourself and see why you feel so jealous in the first place? This is not the Vicki we love. Vicki's grade for the week: F.

Tamra: I'm glad you apologized to Eddie for Boob-gate. Seriously, how many times did Eddie say "boob" in the last two episodes? 50? Anyway, you have no reason to be insecure about Eddie and Vicki, so calm down. And you're right, alcohol had everything to do with it. From now on, keep your hands and boobs to yourself. I still like your friendship with Gretchen, despite Vicki's daggers being thrown at you. Maybe you should ask yourself why you want to be friends with someone who can't let go of the past and insists on holding grudges. Just saying. Tamra's grade for the week: B (for boobs, just kidding.)

Gretchen: You handled the whole Alexis and Vicki vs. Tamra and Gretchen thing well at the painting party, and you're right, it was a bit competitive. I truly don't know how you're gonna keep your friendship with Alexis after this, but if you do, please tell us how you did it. She seems so needy and immature. You couldn't hide your skepticism over Slade's comedy debut, and from the previews, you're right to be skeptical. However, as someone who has done stand-up (4 times at open mic nights, nothing special), you can't judge a set by just a couple seconds. I thought I saw "Housewives Hunter" on his shirt, in which case, I'm assuming there's a whole set up behind the "BOOM BOOM" he's doing on the preview. I'm willing to have an open mind, since Slade is a clever guy and has good timing. We'll see how he does next week. As for Vicki and her alleged deadbeat dad boyfriend, you really couldn't win either way - whether you told Slade or not - because he would have found out eventually. Better he hears it from you. And his reaction is justified given what Vicki's said about him in the past. You're definitely in the middle this season. Gretchen's grade for the week: B+.

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