Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Stupid Pooper and Other Gems Courtesy of Milania

Things started off with a bang on the Real Housewives of New Jersey this week. This is probably one of the most anticipated seasons of the Housewives in the history of the franchise, thanks to the foreshadowing in the last reunion. Who knew taping the next season of a show while airing the previous one would be such a disaster? I'm thinking Bravo won't try that again any time soon.

And I have to shout out the star of the episode by far, Milania. She was hilarious. Hence, the title of this blog post. Congrats, Milania, and keep those shrieking outbursts of kiddy-profanity coming.

Jacqueline: I'm glad you and Chris finally kicked Ashley out. OMG, WTF did that girl do to her FACE???? Ok, I won't go into further detail, because that's how I got blocked by Jay Mohr (I asked the same question about his wife). But seriously, that was not a good look for Ashley at all. I'm glad to hear Caroline say on Watch What Happens Live that she's back to her previous look. The blown up lips are not where it's at, I'm just saying. Back to Jacqueline, I think we're seeing the beginning of your spiral down to the point where you were not emotionally ok enough to be at the reunion. So, I'm interested to see that path and where it leads. I honestly like you and your family a lot, and I think you get caught in the middle because you want to give everyone a fair shake. Let's see how this all plays out. Jacqueline's grade for the week: A (I got love for you, Jac!).

Melissa: I thought you were cool on this episode. When people wanted to talk about Teresa, you tried to diffuse the situation. You're right, the book's written, and you can't do anything about it. You could only take so much as it was, and then Joe (Gorga) had to tell you about the "richer man" comment that Teresa made. I would have flipped out. It seems you were still trying to be nice, even after that. I hope you're able to get through to Teresa that hurtful comments only make a bad situation worse. Melissa's grade for the week: A (she's on my good side so far).

Caroline: The menopause thing is tough, because it's a whole lot of changes all happening at the same time. From what I hear, I mean. I still have a while to go before I find out. I think it's funny that you're cranky this season. It's definitely going to make for a less diplomatic Caroline, and that could be fun. And menopause is known to make women a little ... nuts. So we'll see. I also think it's funny that your kids are still smarting from Teresa's cookbook comments. I didn't like what she said about you and your kids either, but it's time for them to let it go. I don't know how much (or how little) time had passed between the finale of last season and the first episode of this season. I think you were right to talk to Teresa and tell her that it's all good and that you're just going to let it go. I hope the kids follow your lead. Trying to reason with Teresa is pointless, so it's better to just forget it. I'm very interested to see how things go so wrong later. Caroline's grade for the week: B (because menopause is a bitch, and I'm gonna wait and see how she reacts to things as the season goes on).

Kathy: You are truly a beam of light on this show. I wish Teresa could look up to you and learn from your positivity sometimes. I think you have the right attitude about this whole thing, which you've had from the beginning. And I friggin' love Rosie! She is so right about everything. It's wonderful to see you enjoying life and your family, and all the while, you long for the same with Teresa. I can see it. I think we all can. Oh and by the way, that shore house is to die for, I'd love to vacation there. Kathy's grade for the week: A (I love this woman).

Teresa: I'm looking at you with a new set of eyes this season. Ok? Clean slate, I promise. I saw a lot that I didn't like, but I'm going to start by saying that I can't imagine how much stress you're under at this point in the season. I don't know why you're turning to tabloid magazines instead of your family (is it because they pay?), but you've got to get back to working it out with your brother. I saw Joe (Giudice) saying some not so great things, and your reactions were painful to watch. You're hurting. The talk that you had with your brother on the beach could have been the turning point, but you wouldn't allow yourself to be vulnerable and admit that you do need him. If he had told a magazine that you wouldn't be there for him, you would have been incredibly hurt by that. So, don't do that to him. Even if, at the time, you felt like it was the truth. Deep down, you know it's not. And deep down, you know where the true problem lies - the person that is driving the wedge deeper and deeper - I'll let you figure that one out on your own. And I have to say, your girls are beautiful and hilarious. Teresa's grade for the week: C (I'm giving her a chance this season, convince me, Tre).

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