Wednesday, November 7, 2012

RHOBH Season 3 Premiere - Frenemies Strike Back

Well, my dear readers, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back! And I couldn't be more ready. After a summer of the East Coast, I'm excited to see my West Coast ladies with all their extravagance and opulence. This is how I like to see my 'wives. Filthy rich! LOL! Besides the money, Beverly Hills has a very different tone than the other series, not better, not worse, just different. It's a great change of pace, and actually, a very nice compliment to Real Housewives of Atlanta. With Atlanta, I get my life from all the shade, and with Beverly Hills, I get my life from all the quiet, reserved tension. With RHOBH, it's what's unspoken that creates the storylines. Except for Taylor's friend who read Adrienne for filth about the flowers! That was hilarious!

Let's get right into it - and hand out some grades!

Lisa: Disclaimer: I love you. I have always been Team Lisa. However, with this whole Adrienne situation, I'm going to wait and see what the season holds before making a final decision. I said last season that I don't think you would ever sell stories to tabloids, and I still don't. I mean, it took seconds for a "source" to rat on Teresa from RHONJ for selling stories, so if you had, I'm sure we would have heard about it by now. And, Villa Blanca is YOUR restaurant. You can invite or not invite whomever YOU want to the party. It's really your decision. And I understand, after all the accusations Adrienne launched at you on the reunion last season, why would you want her around? You haven't spoken since then, so there is no real resolution to the issue. That's why I'm not mad at you for not inviting her. Now, let's talk about your friendship with Brandi. As much as I despise her joking about having sex with your husband, I'm glad you and Brandi are closer now. It's good to see you joking and laughing with her. But at some point, the whole "I want your husband" thing has got to get old. Could you convince her to knock it off? I thought the Villa Blanca party was absolutely fantastic. I peeked inside the restaurant when I was in Beverly Hills earlier this year and it is amazing. We didn't stop and eat because, frankly, we were underdressed and when I go to Villa Blanca, I want to look stunning. When in Rome. Back to this episode. I thought you handled the flower (tree?) delivery from Adrienne well. You said nothing negative. You did not share the card with anyone (but you should have taken it with you). The nosy looky loos read it on camera (not cool). Bottom line, I don't see any malice from you, but you don't want to be close to Adrienne ever again. Understandable. And by the way, your new house is gorgeous. Lisa's grade for the week: B (because I'm waiting to see what happens, but I can't help it, I love me some Lisa).

Brandi: You grew on me last season and I ended up really liking you. However, this season, you're starting off on a not-so-great note with me. I still like you, but you gotta stop the sexual jokes. At least about other people's husbands. I mean, we all know you wouldn't ever act on it, but it's just ... uncomfortable to watch you tell Lisa all this stuff about Ken. The gifts were a nice gesture, and I think your friendship with Lisa is genuine. I think she understands you now, so that's really good for both of you. I will say that I think your competitiveness when it comes to being Lisa's friend is coming from a little bit of insecurity and a little bit of desperation. It's this need to be liked. You want to "win" at being Lisa's friend. Relax! She already likes you. You don't have to be in competition with anyone. And if so, who exactly are you competing against? It may have been a flippant comment on your part, but it spoke volumes to me. Let's talk about the Villa Blanca party. I understand that you want to try to fix things with Kim and Kyle - but they have their own stuff going on, so you have to just let them come to you. Except with Kim, she may not ever come around. You have to just accept that. Don't take it personally. Yolanda wasn't amused with your joke about how small Beverly Hills is, but she knew you were kidding. Like I said, the raunchiness isn't for everyone. And why did you have to bring up her ex??? I never understand why people have to bring up the one awkward/sensitive subject that the other person clearly doesn't want to talk about - at a party, no less. Who wants to talk about their ex at a party? I'm not saying you should change who you are, but you could tone it down in order to not offend people - at least when you first meet them. As for Taylor, I don't think you two will ever see eye to eye, and you did tell her about herself on the reunion. So that's a done deal. I'm interested to see how you make your way through this season. Brandi's grade for the week: C (because she's a nice girl, but she has no filter and it's already gotten her in trouble - it's barely the first episode!).

Kyle: First off, that Maserati is everything. So jealous. Second, you and your sister need to just agree to play nice. I can't go through another season of you two fighting. And I know you don't want to. So, stop with the 20 questions about her daughter and the boyfriend and all the other crap and just let her be. I get it, you're concerned about her, but you get into it when you try to tell her what to do. She's a grown up. You gotta let go. The scene with Portia was so adorable. She's such a doll. I thought it was nice of her to ask the ladies to her party. And you were quite gracious with Brandi, even though the look on your face told another story. All I'm saying is, if Brandi has two faces, then so do you. Because you were not happy to invite her, but you did it anyway to be nice. It is what it is. At the Villa Blanca party, you got into it with Kim again, and in your confessional, you talked about the fact that you still feel tension towards her even now that she's sober. Here's why. You never resolved the real issues. Yes, her addictions contributed to her behavior that hurt you in the past. But you never recovered. So now, she's sober and you're still mad. Again, let it go. That tension isn't hurting anyone but you. Kyle's grade for the week: C (because she's still trying to micromanage Kim and it's gonna get her nowhere).

Adrienne: It was a little strange seeing you and Paul on the show like nothing was wrong, now that we know you two have split. There's always been tension between the two of you and it comes through on the show every season. You were able to laugh it off in the past, but this season, it's no longer a laughing matter. This week, while you're having dinner with Paul, Taylor spills the beans about Lisa's party. Now, here's where we disagree. You think that just because you've been friends with Lisa for years (and you're still friends with her friends), you should have been invited. I think the only way you would have been invited is if you two had hashed out the whole selling-stories-to-tabloids thing, which, I'm assuming from what we saw on the show, never happened. So, how do you figure that Lisa would still invite you? It doesn't make sense. I know it sucks to be left out, but were you really that surprised? If someone had accused you of something pretty terrible, would you invite them to your next dinner party? Without some sort of sit-down? I think not. You and Lisa never resolved the issue, she moved, and the friendship is pretty much over. Until both of you can sit down and communicate about it. I have to talk about the flower arrangement. Part of me thinks it was a sincere gesture and you meant what you said in the card. But another part of me thinks you did that to highlight the fact that you weren't there and that you picked the most hideous thing you could find to send to the party. Because that arrangement was a holy terror. What in the world were you thinking? If you really wanted to extend an olive branch, you could have called Lisa and wished her well. Or just sent a card to her house. It was the presentation of this monstrosity that really makes it look like this was a dig. We'll have to see how you play it this season, but it's not looking good so far. Adrienne's grade for the week: C (because she is wrong to be surprised that Lisa wants nothing to do with her and that plant/flower arrangement was crazy!).

Yolanda: I like you a lot already. You're definitely an interesting addition to the cast. I love that you don't brag about your money (cough cough Dana cough cough) and you seem to be interested in the more important things in your life like your kids and husband. The part where you and your husband were talking about the love notes won me over completely. You're my kind of girl. At the Villa Blanca party, I was glad to see you buddy up to Kim. She needs a solid friend like you for sure. And you mentioned Brandi's joke, but quickly added that you knew she was kidding. Just don't take everything Brandi says to heart. And don't get caught up taking sides with the other ladies' drama. Yolanda's grade for the week: A (I think she's great so far!).

Kim: I'm glad you're doing well after rehab. You look a lot better. You even sound better! I think you just avoid Kyle (and her calls) because you don't want her to lecture you, which I can understand. But you have to speak up and let her know that. And not in a bickering way. You can use what you learned in rehab to communicate better with Kyle, and not run away from every uncomfortable situation, like when you ran away from Brandi at the party. It's time for you to stand up for yourself. Be assertive about what you want and what you don't want. Kim's grade for the week: C (because she needs to work on communicating and not falling back into the bickering pattern with Kyle).

Taylor: It's good to see you in such good spirits on the show, but, as you recall, I said last season that you shouldn't come back. But here you are, so I hope you make the best of it. I was not surprised when you told Adrienne about Lisa's party because, frankly, you have a big mouth. And you tell everyone everything! That's what you do. However, I was concerned when you were trying on clothes at the store with Adrienne. You kept saying you gained ten pounds and that certain clothes were more flattering, as if you were overweight. Which you're not. This kind of language is odd coming from you. I really don't know why you're concerned about clothes being forgiving - because you have nothing to "forgive", essentially. I'm keeping my eye on you, Taylor. I don't think you're well enough to participate in this show. Taylor's grade for the week: C (for referring to her weight in a negative way for absolutely no reason).

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