Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Welcome to Haterville

The second episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta did not disappoint in the drama department! I am confident that this season will be amazing. I'm already totally invested, and we're only two episodes in.

The show opens with Nene, Kandi, and Cynthia having a girls weekend in Miami. They arrive at the hotel, which is gorgeous and they jump right into some girl talk - with the bellboy still in the room. Oops! It's nice to see Kandi and Nene getting along, they seem to be on much better terms now.

Over at Casa de Kim, Kroy and Sweetie plan Kim's birthday surprise party. I really do like Kroy - I just keep asking myself what he sees in Kim? Sweetie is still kind of annoying, in my opinion.

Phaedra goes to the funeral home to speak to the Funeral Guru himself, Willie, and gets some great advice on starting her own funeral home. Although I still can't stand Phaedra's over the top southern belle routine, she is a lot more likable so far this season. I do admire her business sense, even if she does lay it on a little thick sometimes. I think Willie actually saw dollar signs in Phaedra's eyes and put her in check at one point.

Back in Miami, over a lovely lunch, Kandi makes the mistake of bringing up Nene's fight with Sheree ("I am very rich" as it's now infamously known). Nene gets very defensive and proclaims again, "I am rich". Nene claims that Sheree and Kim are conspiring against her. I don't know about that one. I do think it's funny that Sheree and Kim are besties now, when a couple of seasons ago, Sheree was "shifting" Kim's wig, but that's par for the course with these ladies. Kim, Sheree, and Nene all do the frenemy thing - they're friends, they're best friends, then they fight, they hate each other, and then they make peace, then they're friends again. I will say Nene is right to be irritated with both Kim and Sheree. I wouldn't trust either of them as far as I could throw them. Let's get back to the lunch now. The ladies notice there are a lot of other ladies in town, and comment on how weird it is that there are no guys around. A lesbian couple approach them and let them know it's Pride week, so that explains it. Was it me, or were the ladies a little stank about Pride week? I understand they like men and they're not into swimming in the lady pond, but did they have to act so irritated that Gay Pride was happening while they were in Miami? Also, it's Miami! It's Gay Pride every single day! Get over it! Am I wrong?

Sheree takes her son, who is so adorable by the way, shoe shopping. Sheree tells us her son is shy, just like she was (key word: "was"), and that she wishes his father was in his life more. She also uses this opportunity to ask her son, on camera, if there are any girls after him. Because, you see, he's an athlete and girls will inevitably pursue him. I had to laugh at this. Newflash, Sheree, you were one of those girls. You bagged an athlete and had kids with him. Just because he doesn't pay his child support doesn't mean you didn't know what you were doing when you got with Mr. Whitfield in the first place. Oh, and you were also the one bragging about your seven-figure divorce settlement since season one. Get real. The best karma in the world would be if someone just like you got with your son. Just saying.

Nene takes the girls to see a $9 million home in Miami, since she's seriously considering relocating out of Atlanta, which she now calls "Haterville". Although I doubt she will really move, it's a fun excuse to see a fabulous modern home. Nene says, "When you set limits you limit yourself." Makes sense. I really don't think this is the home for Nene, even though she says she made good money on Celebrity Apprentice. I doubt she made $9 million on Apprentice, but maybe the exposure from the show, along with Housewives, drove up her appearance fees. That, I can understand. Kandi says she doesn't count other people's money, but she doesn't believe Nene has the type of money she's claiming to have. My opinion is, Nene is without a doubt the most popular of the Atlanta Housewives. Kandi made her money before Housewives, but Nene pulled a Bethenny and turned Housewives into a vehicle for her own brand. I commend her for that. Hi, haters! LOL!

Kandi, Cynthia, and Nene are hanging out on the beach in Miami, talking about Kandi's "playground". I think Kandi looks great, especially with the long hair. Sure, she has big hips and thighs, but that's a beautiful thing. Kandi shares that she's trying to lose 15 pounds, and laments the fact that she has to be on a beach with Cynthia, the super model. We understand, Kandi, but just know that you are beautiful, and don't let anyone tell you any different. The conversation turns to Kandi's celibacy, which lasted 10 months. There's some adult toy talk, and some adult activity talk, as well. These ladies aren't holding back. Well, maybe Cynthia is. There are finally some guys on the beach and the girls ask to play frisbee with them. They're almost too eager to let the girls play, and this is the first time I've seen Nene truly flustered. Nene confesses in her interview that she's not ready to date after all, and that she still has Greg on her mind.

Sheree and Kim meet up for dinner and of course, they talk about Kim's boyfriend and the baby. Kim paints a beautiful picture, that everything is so perfect and so wonderful. I have a feeling it's a little less fairytale-ish than what she's saying, but I'm sure we'll see it for ourselves this season. The new BFFs inevitably begin to trash Nene, saying she doesn't have a friend for over a month, that Celebrity Apprentice changed her, that she needs to humble herself. Seriously, these ladies need to take their own advice. Like I said, all three of them go through friends like Kleenex! Come on, it's all about convenience, anyway. Right now, it's convenient for Kim and Sheree to be friends because they have a common enemy. And let's think about it for a second. Why is Nene their enemy? Because according to them, her ego has gotten out of control. Could be. But I'm thinking it's more of a jealousy thing. They basically tore a page out of the Jill and Luann "Let's Pull This Girl Back Down to Our Level" book. Now, I'm not saying Nene is totally innocent, but at least she's doing her own thing and making her own money, and that's driving Kim and Sheree nuts.

Phaedra and Apollo take their gorgeous son out for a stroll and Phaedra excitedly tells Apollo about her funeral home business venture idea. He is less than thrilled. About as thrilled as I would be, to be honest. It's an uncomfortable idea for some of us! Phaedra says it'll be like the Saks Fifth Avenue of funeral homes, and that she needs her husband and brothers to help her out with it. Apollo says it's just not in his career path. When Phaedra tries to explain exactly what his career is, she runs out of steam halfway through and admits she doesn't really know. Well, isn't that special? Do I sense trouble in paradise?

I loved the scene in Miami when the girls are in the bar and they bring them the cake with the sparkler on it! Yes, it was beautiful, but very flammable. These girls are worried about their weaves, people! LOL

Kim's birthday arrives, and Kroy takes her to a nice dinner. Kim explains that this birthday is different because there's no partying or booze. Jeez, Kim, way to make yourself even less likable. Kroy is pretty much the nicest guy on tv right now - again, what the hell? You know what I've noticed? The worst women end up getting the nicest guys. It's true! I have no idea what he sees in her, but maybe she's different away from the cameras. Let's hope. Kim goes on and on about how she can't wait till the baby's born so she can drink and get botox. Oy. I can't take this right now. Kroy changes the subject and tells Kim he's going to teach their son to shoot and hunt and do outdoorsy type stuff. Kim says this isn't her thing because she's "booksmart". Um, ok. Let's just let that one go. Kroy gives Kim a stunning chocolate diamond bracelet, and my point is proven even more. They go back to the house and the surprise party commences. Kandi is there with her lovely daughter Riley, despite the weirdness between them about the whole song drama. Kandi fills the girls in on the Miami trip, and Kim and Sheree waste no time making fun of Nene. To be fair, Kandi opened the door, and they walked right through it. Although Kandi's joke about Nene was pretty tame compared to the really mean things Kim and Sheree were saying. Kandi admits in her interview, "If it's funny, I'll laugh", so I guess she is participating in the hateration. Kim and Sheree went after Nene's teeth, her finances, and her friends, including Cynthia. It was pretty brutal. They finally stop talking about Nene, and talk about their other favorite subject, sex. Apparently, Kim isn't getting any and neither is Phaedra (trouble in paradise, I tell you). Kroy tells the girls he wants to start his own business when he's done with football, probably something outdoorsy, and all of them fall in love with him. He really is a nice guy. Kandi tells him he's proof that good guys do exist. Kim brags that she found a good one. Again, what does he see in her???

I laughed out loud when Riley and Kim's daughter were talking about boyfriends. Hilarious!

Next week, Nene and Greg talk, Apollo breaks down, and Kim's baby shower is full of drama, including a fight between Peter and Apollo. DVR set!

On Watch What Happens Live, Nene and Tatyana Ali were the guests. Tatyana is SO sweet! Seriously, I really like this girl. You know her as Ashley from "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air". Well, she's all grown up now, and has a hit show on TVOne called "Love That Girl". Evidently it's a huge hit. I gotta catch it! Tatyana is definitely a housewives superfan, she knew all the clubhouse lingo, and she even sang a little. What a fun girl. Nene was a little defensive, especially when asked about her "haters", but I didn't expect anything different from her, to be honest. She has her walls up. Nene called out Kandi for playing both sides, and I can't help but agree a little bit. I know Kandi doesn't mean any harm, but Kim and Sheree are out for blood, so anything she gives up to them about Nene is gonna end up getting twisted up and thrown back in Nene's face. Nene addressed Kim and Sheree's hater-fest at Kim's birthday and asked why they were busy talking about her instead of opening gifts, LOL! Good point. Also, one of my favorite Twitter buddies, Mike (@OhHellYes) got his question read by Andy! And it cracked Nene up! You can watch it here. The Aftershow was more fun and loose, as always. Nene seemed a lot more relaxed. I liked that Tatyana and Nene seemed to be having a nice time together. It's a lot better when the guests get along, you know? Check out all the WWHL happenings here.

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