Friday, August 31, 2012

Johnny Depp, Ahoy!

Well, this trip to St. Bart's is certainly different than any other we've seen on the Real Housewives of New York before! All I can think of is how hilarious it would be if Jill Zarin showed up and asked to use the bathroom. (You RHONY fans know what I'm talking about!) So, the trip is off to a rip-roaring start. Ramona and Sonja are apparently a couple, Carole invites her boyfriend over and Ramona tries to contain her rage, the girls have a wild night dressed up as Pirate Wenches, and Luann brings a Johnny Depp look-alike home. Oooh-weee!!!

Let's get into this episode without any further adieu (that's pretty much as French as I can get)!

Luann: You make yourself look SO bad. I know you say "nothing happened" with Tomas, but the fact that you lied, covered up, and schemed like a high school girl trying to sneak back into the house after a night of partying is just pathetic! Own it! You brought the man back to the house! It's a fact. Now what you did with him is a totally different story. I really don't care. It was completely inappropriate. And then you lied about it. It's not ok for a woman in a committed relationship to bring a man home who she's clearly lusting after. You do the math. Gurl, please. Luann's grade for the week: F (but it should be C for CHEATER!)

Ramona: I'm really getting tired of your tipsy antics this season. Turtle Time was fun, but it's time to cool it (wow just had deja vu with my advice to the Jersey 'Wives). I will say, you're having fun and that's what vacay is all about so ... I guess I can't fault you too much. Oh, and nice job trying to get the details out of Tomas. Ramona: C (because she's enjoying her vacation, but I'm over drunk Ramona).

Sonja: I hope you find a real relationship soon because this whole Samantha Jones thing you're working right now isn't working at all. It's coming across as sad and uncomfortable. Everything is sex with you. But not in a funny, naughty way, like it used to be. Time for a new routine, hun. Sonja's grade for the week: D (because I'm sick of her talking about sex all the time).

Heather: I felt so bad when you smacked into the glass door (the same thing happened to my Dad recently). I can just imagine how embarrassed you were. Now, about the Luann thing. You should NOT lie for her. I'm so glad you aren't perpetuating her BS story about all these Italian friends coming over. I don't blame you for talking about it (everyone else was), but I also understand why you didn't blow up Luann's spot, either. She's the one that's lying, not you. Stay out of it. Heather's grade for the week: A (because she's telling the truth).

Carole: I love your relationship with Russ! I was really happy to see him sort of rescue you from the craziness at dinner. Once again, you were spot on with all of your observations this week (duh, Luann, Tomas was speaking French, not Italian). And who knew you dated George Clooney? More cool points for you! Carole's grade for the week: A (I'm starting to think she's our new Bethenny in the commentary department - in a good way).

Aviva: I am not looking forward to seeing the blow up between you and the Pinot twins next week. On the other hand, it looks like you put them in their place, so it could be quite entertaining! Aviva's grade this week: N/A (I'll wait to see how it all plays out next week).

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