Johnny Depp, Ahoy!

Well, this trip to St. Bart's is certainly different than any other we've seen on the Real Housewives of New York before! All I can think of is how hilarious it would be if Jill Zarin showed up and asked to use the bathroom. (You RHONY fans know what I'm talking about!) So, the trip is off to a rip-roaring start. Ramona and Sonja are apparently a couple, Carole invites her boyfriend over and Ramona tries to contain her rage, the girls have a wild night dressed up as Pirate Wenches, and Luann brings a Johnny Depp look-alike home. Oooh-weee!!!

Let's get into this episode without any further adieu (that's pretty much as French as I can get)!

Luann: You make yourself look SO bad. I know you say "nothing happened" with Tomas, but the fact that you lied, covered up, and schemed like a high school girl trying to sneak back into the house after a night of partying is just pathetic! Own it! You brought the man back to the house! It's a fact. Now what you did with him is a totally different story. I really don't care. It was completely inappropriate. And then you lied about it. It's not ok for a woman in a committed relationship to bring a man home who she's clearly lusting after. You do the math. Gurl, please. Luann's grade for the week: F (but it should be C for CHEATER!)

Ramona: I'm really getting tired of your tipsy antics this season. Turtle Time was fun, but it's time to cool it (wow just had deja vu with my advice to the Jersey 'Wives). I will say, you're having fun and that's what vacay is all about so ... I guess I can't fault you too much. Oh, and nice job trying to get the details out of Tomas. Ramona: C (because she's enjoying her vacation, but I'm over drunk Ramona).

Sonja: I hope you find a real relationship soon because this whole Samantha Jones thing you're working right now isn't working at all. It's coming across as sad and uncomfortable. Everything is sex with you. But not in a funny, naughty way, like it used to be. Time for a new routine, hun. Sonja's grade for the week: D (because I'm sick of her talking about sex all the time).

Heather: I felt so bad when you smacked into the glass door (the same thing happened to my Dad recently). I can just imagine how embarrassed you were. Now, about the Luann thing. You should NOT lie for her. I'm so glad you aren't perpetuating her BS story about all these Italian friends coming over. I don't blame you for talking about it (everyone else was), but I also understand why you didn't blow up Luann's spot, either. She's the one that's lying, not you. Stay out of it. Heather's grade for the week: A (because she's telling the truth).

Carole: I love your relationship with Russ! I was really happy to see him sort of rescue you from the craziness at dinner. Once again, you were spot on with all of your observations this week (duh, Luann, Tomas was speaking French, not Italian). And who knew you dated George Clooney? More cool points for you! Carole's grade for the week: A (I'm starting to think she's our new Bethenny in the commentary department - in a good way).

Aviva: I am not looking forward to seeing the blow up between you and the Pinot twins next week. On the other hand, it looks like you put them in their place, so it could be quite entertaining! Aviva's grade this week: N/A (I'll wait to see how it all plays out next week).

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"Yes, GAWD, Nessa gurl" - Funky Dineva

Judge me if you must, but Part 1 of the Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Reunion was hilarious. From Joseline's Mardi Gras mask to Funky Dineva's appearance to Rasheeda being escorted off the stage to Scrappy's unintelligible ramblings, it was all ratchet and all entertaining. This show gives me life, and I'm not ashamed to say it.

I won't give grades, because, let's face it, why bother? So let's just send out our thoughts to the ladies.

Joseline: You are always entertaining. I love how you own everything you've done - ratchet, ratcheter, or ratchetest. You never deny it. I don't agree with 99.9% of the things coming out of your mouth, but I respect that you are real about everything you do. There's no doubt what you're on this show for, and what you're with Creepy J for. I don't think it's going to bring you love and happiness in the long run, though. I hope you have a change of heart real soon. Until then, enjoy the limited fame and fortune a VH1 reality show brings. Ask Somaya about that.

Mimi: I don't think anyone is judging you because you got cheated on. You're getting judged because you keep talking to Creepy J and letting him back into your life. We saw it all season. So, don't get all hype now, acting like you're this strong, independent woman when you were back and forth with him all season. I like you, I really do, but this whole on again off again thing with Creepy J needs to be terminated permanently.

Erica: I love that you wore a nightie to the reunion. LOL! But seriously, I love your whole vibe and I believed it when you were about to give Joseline a piece of your mind. You're still my favorite.

Rasheeda: This whole thing with you and K.Michelle is so stupid. You don't believe her story. Fine. But you're talking about something that's in the past and that shouldn't be the case. You should be telling us what's happening with you NOW. Leave all that other bullsh*t in the past and keep it moving.

K.Michelle: You are funny, but what was going on with your hair??? Fire that hair stylist IMMEDIATELY! Your jokes were on point, but that's about it. I don't want you to continue talking about the abuse you suffered in the past, you should be talking about the work you're doing for your charity from now on. You should also be more focused on your career and getting yourself back in the public eye for your music.

Karlie: I have no interest in you or how old you are. That is all. Oh and you're not funny, either.

Momma Dee: I love how you see yourself as the Queen and Scrappy as the Prince - oh and YOU'RE the authority on keeping dignity in your "castle". LOL over and over again.

Ariane: I love that you're not afraid to put Stevie J/Creepy J in his place. Good for you.

I can't wait till next week!!! Part 2 with Buckey herself! Good job, Mona, you know what we want to see.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Enough with the Wine Already

It took me a few days to finally watch the latest Real Housewives of New Jersey, and my lovely Twitter friends filled me in on a few morsels in the meantime, so I was all excited to see some sparks fly in this last leg of the Napa trip. However, the more I watched, the more sick to my stomach I became. This isn't the show I want to see. This isn't what I signed up for. I mean, RHONJ has always been a hot mess (Danielle, anyone?), but at least there were redeeming moments and some silliness to balance things out. Sunday's episode was a disaster. On all levels. Oh, and by the way, my stupid DVR didn't record Watch What Happens Live (Not So Live - Actually, Taped Interviews To Be Exact) with Caroline and Teresa, but I caught a couple clips online, and it was more of the same. We know how Caroline and Teresa feel about each other. I'm actually glad I didn't waste my time watching the whole thing. I read every single cast member's blog this week, just so I could make sure I considered everyone's point of view before writing this blog. Just so you know. 

Let's just get into the episode and get it over with (sorry, but the enthusiasm I once had for this show is completely gone, thanks to all the negativity. You know what they say, it's contagious).

Teresa: I want you to understand that I get where you're coming from. I would hate it for someone (Caroline) to dismiss me and tell me I'm a liar and that I'm this terrible person. No one would enjoy that. However, you were getting a little erratic towards the end of the conversation. It may have been your anger manifesting itself, which is understandable, but you have to understand, it made you look crazy. It may have been the wine, also. In fact, I think everyone on this show needs to cool it with the wine from now on. Fabellinis too. All alcohol, actually. Because that conversation with Caroline was definitely prolonged because of your Joe (who was intoxicated), Kathy (who was also drinking), and you (with the wine glass in your hand the whole time). I get that you're all in "Wine Country", but Good God, put it down and have a sober conversation for once. Now, as far as the magazine articles, you pretty much admitted to getting paid to put the stories out there and even made a deal that no more negative articles would come out about your family members (as long as no more negative articles came out about you). I think this is where we all need to come clean. If EVERYONE is putting out articles, then NO ONE should be upset about them. If this is the way it is, then it comes with the territory, and everyone should do their own thing. No one should be offended or upset. But, if not everyone is doing this, you have to understand how shady it all sounds. I don't know who else besides you puts out articles and I honestly don't care. All I care about is that you came out and said that you do. And your husband confirmed it. I have no more advice for you. You're on your own. You have pretty much exhausted my advice giving abilities. You're going to do and say what you want and no one (not even me) can convince you that you might want to do things differently. Just think about this. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting. And can I just say, your squeal when Joe said you were leaving early is one of the most unpleasant sounds I've ever heard. Teresa's grade for the week: N/A (I'm done giving her a grade because Teresa truly believes she is never wrong and she will continue to dig herself deeper and deeper into her own trenches, which is fine for her, but I'm no longer interested or invested).

Caroline: For the life of me, I don't know why you are taking all this Teresa stuff so personally. I am really disappointed to see you go at it with her in this round and round argument. There was no resolution. You two are exactly where you started. So, in essence, that whole blow up was a complete waste of time. I wish you could have just accepted her apology (whether you thought she was sincere or not) and just kept it moving. I say it all the time, there is no getting through to Teresa. So, why even bother asking her point blank questions? Why ask her to tell you what she really thinks of you? Would it really have helped you to hear it from her? No! You wanted her to say it on camera so that you would be vindicated in how you've been acting all season. Not that I blame you. But you have to know that Teresa is never going to admit to any wrongdoing, ESPECIALLY on camera. Again, total waste of time and energy. Can you honestly say you felt better after the confrontation? It may have felt good to blast her and say all the things you've been holding back, but that satisfaction only lasts so long. The hatred you have for her is still eating away at you no matter what. And it's not pretty. Even Lauren got in on it and it wasn't pretty on her either. I'm glad you're drama free now, and part of the reason you are is because you have no contact with Teresa. That should have been your first and only move. Then you wouldn't have had to have any of these uncomfortable moments (Jaime's wedding, the wine tour, your birthday, etc) and you could have just moved on. I don't know how much of what you said about Teresa is true (what you allegedly heard her say), but it really doesn't matter. She's not your problem anymore. Do us all a favor (including yourself) and do not participate in this show anymore. Caroline's grade for the week: F (for even allowing herself to fight with Teresa because it was pointless and stupid). 

Jacqueline: You were smart not to get involved. Period. Jacqueline's grade for the week: A (fake sleep is the new black).

Kathy: I don't think you intentionally instigated the fight between Caroline and Teresa, but you definitely put the bug in Teresa's ear, whether you meant to or not. How many times do I have to say this??? Teresa does not take advice! Teresa will just get defensive! Teresa will not listen to anyone! You should know this better than anyone!!! I do think you had a right to tell her not to touch your face, though. If you don't want to be touched, that's that. And she kept doing it, like that was supposed to make it better??? Kathy's grade for the week: D (for starting this ball rolling, and what a ball it was).

Melissa: You were also smart to not involve yourself. Melissa's grade for the week: A (for keeping her mouth shut). 

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Only When Convenient

I was pretty irritated after watching this week's Real Housewives of New York, partly because my eyes will never recover from Ramona booty popping on that table and my ears are still hurting from Luann talking about masturbating. Jeez Louise, ladies! Did someone at Bravo ask the OGs to ratchet it up or what? I don't watch RHONY for this! I'm supposed to see good old fashioned digs and gossiping, for crying out loud. In my Sarah Winchester voice: "Is this the world we live in?!" Sadly, yes. So let's get into the episode, shall we?

Luann: I'm keeping it short with you because I cannot WAIT to see you deny that you brought a strange man back to your vacation home with you in St. Bart's. Sacre bleu! As I mentioned before, I don't ever need to hear about your private moments ever again. Enough said. But I did like how you were getting along with Ramona. Not sure it'll last, though. Oh and the outfits you tried on at the store were really nice. Points for that. Luann's grade for the week: C (because she was ok in this episode, but a little TMI for me).

Ramona: If I were that taxi driver, I would have pulled over and kicked you out after the third time you said to write the address down. Um, seriously?! If you're so high maintenance, why not have a driver? Why not drive yourself? It makes no sense!! I was really annoyed with you this whole episode. I hope it's menopause or hormones or something because your level of irritating is off the charts. Although I did appreciate you trying to calm Sonja down when Aviva was giving her that (well deserved) smackdown. And it was nice of you to donate to the charity in lieu of you being at the event. Now, one question. Is the doctor's appointment we saw the same one that prevented you from going to the event? Or did the editors just conveniently put it together so it appeared that way? Ramona's grade this week: C (because she's getting more and more annoying as the season goes on).

Sonja: I'm not sure how to feel about you breaking down about your dog at lunch. Really, all you should have said was, "My dog is very ill and I thought it was better for me to take him to his appointment just in case it was serious. However, I'm sorry I did not go to your event, I know it was important to you, and I'm sorry." Done! End of discussion! I really don't know why you felt it was necessary to go on and on about it. And if Aviva was asking you to explain, you should have politely told her you didn't want to talk about it because it's a sensitive subject for you. Anyway, I'm just saying it really didn't need to be blown so far out of proportion. I mean, bottom line is, you didn't go to her event and her feelings were hurt. Your reasons for not going are valid, by all means. Sonja's grade for the week: C (because she had a meltdown and at the time, it was unnecessary).

Carole: I love that you're able to diffuse a tense situation, such as the lunch with Aviva, Ramona, and Sonja. That skill is going to take you far on this show. You're still the fan favorite, no secret there! The scene where Aviva's charity gave Jake his running legs was so great, and it was nice that you were there and you appreciated that experience. It just shows you have substance. You supported Aviva's cause because you truly cared about the kids. I did think it was hilarious when you said you hate to work out. You are lucky! Because you have an amazing body for someone who doesn't work out ... ok I'm jealous. Now, I don't know why it doesn't bother me to hear you talk about your love life, but I can't stand to hear Luann talk about hers. I don't have any kind of point to make, I'm just saying ... anyway, I can't wait to see how you react to all the craziness in St. Bart's. Carole's grade for the week: A (because she's awesome!)

Heather: I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns, but let's be real, you said "your crazy wife" to Mario about Ramona. Own it! Anyway, it was great of you to show up for Aviva, despite your little tiff about Ramona/Jacques. I think you two should be friendly because you really don't have a reason not to be. Ramona shouldn't be a factor at all. Heather's grade for the week: B (for not backing down to Ramona, even though she did call her crazy, but then again who hasn't?)

Aviva: I totally understand why you were so upset with Sonja and Ramona for not coming to your event. But here's what. Are you really that surprised? Let's be real. Sonja and Ramona are pretty much all about themselves. I just don't see them bending over backwards for ANYONE. And you're probably right, if it was a party with wine flowing, yeah, they probably would have been there. That's just more their speed. But, you definitely shouldn't take it personally that they didn't show up. It has much more to do with them (and their selfishness, let's be honest) than it does with you and your charity. That's why they couldn't understand why you were so hurt by them not coming. To them, it wasn't that big of a deal. Now, once you started grilling them (which I loved), then they had to defend themselves. Ramona made a nice gesture by giving you a check, and Sonja, well, started crying about her dog. It is what it is. Now you know, certain people will not come through for you unless it's convenient for them. Your charity, One Step Ahead, is amazing and the world is now seeing the great work that you're doing for child amputees. That's the most important thing right there. Let's move on to the fear of flying thing. It's common! A lot of people are afraid of flying. And it's your choice whether or not to go on this trip. By the looks of the previews, you probably would have had a better time back in New York. Aviva's grade for the week: B (because I'm glad she called Ramona and Sonja out, but she shouldn't have taken their absence from her event personally).

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No Surprises Here

So, Love and Hip Hop Atlanta ended with not so much of a bang this week. Of course, we have the Reunion to look forward to, but in all honesty, the season finale was a big yawn for me. Therefore, this blog will be kinda brief!

Karlie: So you're no longer with Benzino. Whoopteydoo. I hope you're not on the show next season, but if you are, I want to see you actually WORKING ON YOUR CAREER. Not just going out on dates and playing house with men. Girl, please. Karlie's grade for this week: F (she was a major FAIL this entire season).

Erica: I loved your conversation with Scrappy. You told him that you just want to be co-parents, which (ahem) I said!! I know, I know, this show was already wrapped when I said that. I'm just saying ... Anyway, I'm glad you're dating other people. Even though the rumor is that you and Scrappy are together (I'm kinda hoping that's not true), I'll believe it when I see it. You're still one of my favorites on the show! You have to come back next season. Erica's grade for the week: A (for staying true to herself).

Rasheeda: Your vow renewal was really beautiful. I wish we could have seen a little bit more of it. I hope you come back next season so we can see the progress that you and Kirk are making, and hopefully see your album come out! That would be awesome. As for the whole K.Michelle mess, you have your opinion, and she has hers. It really isn't worth it to keep going around and around about it. It's a shame this has gotten in between your friendship with her, but in all honesty, you should stay as far away from this subject as possible. You're a likable lady, and I don't want to see you fighting with anyone. We wanna see you working on your music, not arguing over someone's past. Rasheeda's grade for the week: C (because I love her storyline, but I hate that she's fighting with K.Michelle).

Mimi: I'm so glad this season ended with you breaking up with Creepy J, and I hope it's for good. But unfortunately with you, we never know. So, I definitely want to see you on the show next season, but on the condition that you are just co-parenting with Creepy J. Nothing more. I want to see you take your business to the next level, and possibly branch out and expand your business. That would be great. I also want to see you interact with the ladies more and do things with them like vacations, parties, charity events, etc. Mimi's grade for the week: B (for ending it with Creepy J).

K.Michelle: I'm not going to dispute whether you're telling the truth about your past or not. That's not for me to judge or speculate about. However, I think you need to either put the evidence out there and end this debate once and for all, or drop it and leave it in the past. We should be talking about your music and your career, not the past. I want you to come back next season and show us your concerts, promotion, shooting music videos, all the work you're putting into your career. K.Michelle's grade for the week: C (because I want her to focus on her future).

Joseline: Welp, you're an international superstar (really???) but all joking aside, you're living your dream. You're performing, and I can't knock you for being happy about that. I do wish you success in your career, but I want you to get out from under Creepy J's control. No good will come of that. Also, is your music on iTunes for sale? Are you releasing any videos? If Creepy J is going to manage you, the least he can do is put your music out there now that you have some notoriety. Just saying. And believe it or not, I want you to come back next season, just so we can get some more classic Joseline moments. You made the season interesting, to say the least, and you're a funny lady. Just don't fight over Creepy J, that's old news. Joseline's grade for the week: B (for making me laugh, in spite of all the ratchetness).

What did you think of the season finale? Tweet me!

Turning 30

Turning 30 has been on my mind since 2012 began. And although the actual day was just last weekend, it's still there. I think this milestone is truly unique in that I'm not only getting older, but becoming more aware of what lies ahead. I asked my Facebook and Twitter friends to tell me what lessons they learned when they turned 30. Here are a few of my favorites:

"I didn't start living my life for myself until this year. I stopped enabling others and started working on what truly makes ME happy." 

"I think the most important thing I learned was who my real friends were & that my family is my rock. Mind you I'm still learning everyday. I learned to let go of the notion you have to achieve this by this time! That only inhibits you from living & learning."

"30 is just like being in your 20s - but you're more confident, less naive and pretty much done dealing with unnecessary BS!"

"In all honesty 30's are just practice for your 40's which are awesome!"

"Money doesn't make the person, it's what the person does with it that makes the person."

"Everyone has a gift: words of wisdom, knowledge to share with you, etc. But only if you listen."

"People spend a lot of energy trying to be perfect. Some of the most memorable times in life will come from an imperfect moment". 

Here's what I've learned ... the number 30 in itself doesn't mean anything. I know a lot of 30+ year olds who don't act any more mature than they did in their teenage years. However, I believe for most of us, especially in my generation, 30 is a turning point. For a lot of us, our 20s are spent getting freedom and learning how to deal with it. Or maybe that was just me. Mistakes and failures were the theme of my 20s, with some accomplishments sprinkled in randomly. But mostly, my 20s were about figuring out who I was - and trying to decide if I wanted to continue to be that, or if I wanted to change. A lot about me has stayed the same. But I can honestly say, by 29, I had worked on different aspects of myself and made strides towards being a better person. 

Now that I'm officially 30, I feel like I've just stepped into another world. Once again, I feel like I have a clean slate. And now it's up to me to blaze a new trail. I'm still working on myself - I'm a work in progress like everyone else - but at least now I feel like I have the fundamentals taken care of. I know what I want. I know I have to work hard. I know where I want to end up. I just have to get there. That's part of why this blog exists. This blog is my banner, waving back and forth from my little flagpole - screaming out to the universe. Read me! 

This blog has opened my world up to the possibility of actually achieving my biggest dreams. So, in my thirtieth year, the blog will be expanded and more publicized. Hopefully, it will garner more attention and someone will notice it and give me a chance to be a real writer/personality/commentator/entertainer. And if not, it will continue to be my outlet and my hobby. Which is fine. I'd just really like to be all that other stuff I mentioned before. 

In conclusion, 30 is just a number. But so far, I really like it. 

What do you think about turning 30? What lessons did you learn? Tweet me!

Un-f*cking-necessary

Ok, so I just finished watching last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey episode, and I'm pretty much livid. With one Joe Giudice. Here's the thing. We get that you're "rough around the edges", we even get that you say some inappropriate things and get drunk and chip your tooth while doing gymnastics in the living room. You're an odd duck! We get it. But you were either so drunk, or so careless (I don't know which is worse) that you took that call WHILE WEARING A MICROPHONE AND WHILE BEING FILMED. You're an idiot. You're rude, insensitive, selfish, and mean. You're miserable and you use alcohol and insults to cover it up. Well, the cat's out of the bag. It's officially out there. And I never want to see you on my television ever again. Now, let's address the ladies.

Caroline: I was really happy for you when the kids were toasting you for your birthday. That was really sweet and it was a very nice surprise dinner. Any mom would love that kind of celebration. I wasn't too crazy about how you kept harping on the whole Teresa thing with Kathy and Jacqueline. The bottom line is: Teresa was on the trip and everyone was dealing with her in their own way. Like Chris said, you choose not to have anything to do with her. Fine. It's time to stop talking about it. But, of course, you don't stop and next week we get to see round 2 between you and Teresa. Not that I'm looking forward to it. Also, the Giudices, Wakiles, and Gorgas should have never been at the business meeting in the first place. It was Chris' mistake to ask them to come. If it was really a business meeting, then it should have been only for those who were involved in the business part of the trip. To be honest, Caroline, I think you're done on this show. Think about it. You can't get past this hatred you have for Teresa, and for the record, you are completely free to hate her, it's your business. But this show is never going to get out of this dysfunctional cycle because there is just too much animosity between you and Teresa. And it sucks. It pulls the whole show down. For example, Teresa's toast. It's ok to be upset about it for Kathy's sake, but you were overly outraged about it. It's almost as if you take any excuse to be mad at Teresa and just run with it, even if it has nothing to do with you. It's frustrating because I think there's a lot of great sides to you. But all we're seeing now is the side that hates Teresa. And that's a drag. I've said it before. This show isn't for you anymore. Caroline's grade for the week: D (because she's allowing her feelings toward Teresa turn her into something we don't like).

Jacqueline: We didn't hear much from you on this episode, so I'll keep it brief. I must say, you really thought you were getting back to a good place with Teresa. It sucks to know exactly how your friendship with her actually ends up. Damn Bravo for filming so soon and airing the season so late. I'll never forgive them for this jacked up season. I liked seeing you laugh and have fun, and if you do come back next season, that's exactly what I want to see from you. The scene where you were doing Teresa's hair felt like we were back in season one. Jacqueline's grade for this week: A (because at this point, she was doing her part and keeping things in a good place).

Kathy: You know I love you, but when it comes to Teresa - you cannot take her seriously. In this case, I agree with Richie, what comes out of her mouth most of the time is complete nonsense. I really don't think she meant to leave you out of the toast intentionally, to be honest. I think she just wanted to acknowledge a few people at the table. It would have been different if she said something about every single person and then decided to not say anything about you. Would it have been nice if she had said something nice to you in her toast? Absolutely! But that's giving Teresa way too much credit. We all know Teresa is all about Teresa. And what was in her head at that moment was exactly what she said. End of story. I really don't think there was any malice behind it. I will say, you handled it well. You didn't throw a fit, you didn't turn and scream at her, you just went on about your business. Which is the best way to handle Teresa. Because you know if you would have started a fight, she wouldn't have listened to a word you said. So, you're smart to be the bigger person. However, like I said before, I don't think she did it on purpose. But it hurt your feelings and you have a right to feel how you feel. Now, next week, I hope you don't let her put her hands on you ... you better stand up for yourself and let her know where she can go. Kathy's grade for the week: C (for keeping calm at the table but she should not have let Teresa's toast get to her).

Melissa: You were shady this week! You were throwing shade left and right! And I enjoyed it, to be quite honest. It made me laugh, sue me. I could tell you were joking about the sex tape thing, but I can see how comments like that don't win you any points with Teresa. Granted, you were absolutely right about her giving interviews in magazines and then being shocked when people ask her about her personal life. But the sex tape/fame whore comment was a low blow (no pun intended). Teresa's definitely hustling to make money and capitalizing on her small degree of fame, but what you said wasn't cool. Joke or no joke. And let's be real, no one wants to see that. Ever. Melissa's grade for the week: C (for the excellent shade, but she went too far with some of her comments).

Teresa: First of all, I'm so sorry you have to see your husband's phone conversation on this week's episode, I can't imagine how devastating that was to watch. His comments about you were completely unnecessary and out of line. I can't believe he would speak about you that way to anyone. I truly feel for you right now. And what makes it even worse for me is that you tried to seduce him in the vineyards after that and he called you a whore. To your face. I don't know how that's supposed to be ok, because it's not. I hate the way he talks to you. I can see you trying to force him into being happy - you're asking him to smile for the picture, telling him to make love in the vineyard, etc. He's not happy, Tre. He's miserable. And you don't have to take it. In your blog this week, you seemed really sincere (it actually sounded like you), and you say that you didn't know about the phone conversation until you saw the episode. You also say Joe has apologized. But, he didn't tell you about it - you had to watch the show to find out. You know what Joe is sorry about? He's sorry he got caught. He's sorry he forgot he had a mic on when he called you a bitch and that other disgusting name and he's sorry you found out about it. Worse, he's sorry you heard him obviously talking to another woman and he's sorry you saw him lie to your face about it. Teresa - you know I'm not your biggest fan, but as a woman, I am begging you. Get out. Immediately. You don't need this bullsh*t. And I've told you in this blog more times than I can remember that Joe Giudice is the biggest problem in your life. He is the poison in your life right now. You can obviously get along with people and forgive and forget. Look at the progress you made with Melissa. Now, it's time to stand up and walk away. That's how I see it. As for the toast, I don't think you meant to leave Kathy out. Like I told her, I think you were focused on certain people at the table and that was the extent of it. I do think you're selfish and I do think you're all about yourself. And truthfully, that's not even always a bad thing. The problem is, you're on the defense with Kathy (and still bringing up the recipe bullsh*t) and you're on the defense with Caroline. It's time to stop fighting, Teresa. And the first step is getting away from the person who encourages you to fight with everyone. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the reason Joe encourages you to fight with people is so that then you'll be too distracted to catch him doing his dirt? Just saying. Teresa's grade for the week: N/A (because at this point, I feel like Teresa is drowning and just trying to stay above water - in an ocean full of negativity called Joe Giudice).

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White Elephant (and Green Lizard) in the Room

The Real Housewives of New York was a classic bitch-fest if I ever saw one. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it - because I did - but damn, some of these ladies need to get their happy back. And it seems the first step in doing that is to stay away from each other. But we all know that's not going to happen, so bring on St. Barts! By the way, don't you get this terrible flashback from past seasons when you hear the words "St. Barts"? I do. And I'm pretty sure it's going to be a total disaster once again. Now, for the episode at hand ...

Sonja: One question: did you purposely put Heather and her team out or did it just happen by accident. Whether you care to admit it or not, Heather put in work, as well as the rest of her team. It's not so much about you not paying for their services (which is bad enough), it's about you acting like you were entitled to their services, as if you were doing them some kind of favor. In reality, all of that was a favor to you, and you weren't very grateful at the end of it. If you disagreed with their vision, you should have cancelled the entire project at the second meeting. However, you looked great and the pictures were awesome. I'm really disappointed that you allowed yourself to be in the middle of Heather and Ramona again. If you really don't want drama, stop telling Ramona bad things about Heather that she can then throw in her face. You're just as wrong as Ramona is for all of this foolishness. And for the love of all that is holy, I never want to hear about your torrential period ever again. Sonja's grade for the week: D (because she blew it big time).

Carole: I liked your White Elephant party. I thought it was really nice and the game was fun. And of course, I love your commentary throughout the episode via your confessionals/interviews. It's pretty much the only way to make sense out of what's happening half the time. Thank you for being our NY Housewives spirit guide. Oh and that lizard was too cute! Carole's grade for the week: A (for making the most sense consistently since the season began).

Luann: You were a good sport with George, but hearing you dirty talk gives me major dry heaves. Sorry! I don't blame you for being over the whole wine party conversation. We all are. Especially since you and Ramona ALREADY FRIGGIN' TALKED ABOUT IT! Everyone needs to just let it go. And I have no doubt Jacques is French and his accent is real. Luann's grade for the week: C (because even though she's the worst, she wasn't too bad this week).

Ramona: You were so EXTRA this week. And what I mean by that is EXTRA ANNOYING. First of all, why do you care so much about Sonja and Heather's relationship? There was no reason for you to get all fired up about it. Second, it was YOUR party, and you were willing to ruin it by beating this dead horse in front of everyone. You weren't invited to the shoot. Get over it. Then, at the socialite's party (can't remember her name, don't judge me), you pulled a hit and run on Heather. There's a difference between calling someone out and taking a cheap shot and what you did was a cheap shot. Instead of standing there and saying what you wanted to say and hearing Heather out, you bolted, turned, yelled at her, and bolted again. What sense does that make? You reacted so immaturely that yes, it did look a little crazy. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for making a fool out of herself for no reason).

Aviva: I have no idea why you would bring up the wine game incident to Luann after she had already worked it out with Ramona, other than maybe you didn't know that they had spoken? At any rate, you explained how you felt about it and left it at that. The problem is, everyone else didn't. You never said Jacques' accent was fake, Ramona and Mario did. And you didn't agree or go along with that. Then, you heard Heather out and Ramona blew up at her. So, all things considered, I don't blame you for wanting nothing to do with Ramona anymore. Aviva's grade for the week: B (because she brought up a sore subject, but I don't think  her intentions were bad at all).

Heather: I have come out in your defense throughout this entire blog! Who'd have thunk it, right? But you were totally right on this one. Sonja was a nightmare, Ramona was acting crazy, and the entire mess is exhausting. Now, should you refer to Ramona as "your crazy wife" while talking to Mario? Probably not. But hey, we all say things when we're angry. Heather's grade for the week: A (for not backing down, kudos to her).

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Spell Check

I have to start with Momma Dee. Really? What little charm you had in the beginning of this season is completely gone now. What is it with these Love and Hip Hop moms not knowing how to spell (Mama Jones' "Phsychotic" and now this????) Momma Dee needs to sit down and be quiet for the remainder of the season. And by the way, encouraging your son to be a player is not cute. Just saying. Let's get to the cast, shall we?

Joseline: You were actually really funny this week. Not that I condone anything you do. Like, not one thing at all. Except rock climbing. I would do that. I must say you turned this whole situation around to where we like you, as much as we hate to admit it. You are charming. You are funny. And you may be talented (I haven't seen/heard enough of you performing to know for sure). That's what makes this so frustrating. You chained yourself to Creepy J once again and you're letting him control your life. But you deserve so much more. I don't think you're an evil person. I think you're lost. And that's just the way Creepy J wants to keep it. Joseline's grade for the week: C (because she made me laugh, plain and simple).

Mimi: All I can say to you is: I hope you mean it when you say you're done. Mimi's grade for the week: N/A (because I want to see what she does next week first).

Rasheeda: I'm so relieved you didn't tell K.Michelle what the previews implied! You were actually just trying to make her see the other side of the story. You weren't accusing her of lying, which is how she probably took it. I think you're torn because you're friends with both sides. From now on, stay out of it. As for keeping your husband as your manager, I admire the sentiment, but this can't end well. Rasheeda's grade for the week: B (for supporting K.Michelle, even though her comments were not received well).

Erica: You were right to confront Scrappy about Shay, and you're even more right to not believe a word he says about that whole situation. I think you're better off as co-parents. It was cool of you to support K.Michelle, but that's no surprise because you've proven yourself to be a good friend on this show since day one. Erica's grade for the week: A (for being a stand up lady, I respect her a lot).

Karlie: I'm over you and your fake storyline. It can't be that hard to break up with someone you've only been seeing for a reality show. Karlie's grade for the week: F (because there's nothing real about her storyline).

K.Michelle: I don't doubt that you're telling the truth about your past. And you're right, you don't need to explain it to anyone. But if you are going to talk about it, be prepared for people to be skeptical or want proof. Whether you do release that proof is on you. But that's your right and your decision. Your story is going to help a lot of girls out there, regardless. K.Michelle's grade for the week: A (because whether you believe her or not, it takes a lot of courage to open up and talk about your past).

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Napalicious

This week's Real Housewives of New Jersey was kind of like the calm before the storm. Or should I say, the little tiny storm before the huge scary storm. The upcoming episode features Joe Giudice being an absolute jerk to Teresa (again) and the phone call that is supposedly breaking up their marriage. I don't know how true all of that is, but it's definitely going to be a crazy episode. And for once, I'm not looking forward to the drama. I can't stand the sight of Joe Giudice and the fact that he's talking like that about his wife, WHILE HE'S MIC'D AND HAS A CAMERA POINTED AT HIM is just so infuriating. But, let's get back to this week's episode, where a much more friendly vibe prevailed - for the most part.

I gotta talk about Lauren's outburst. Seriously, part of me sympathized with her, because I've been in that spot before. But on the other hand, she's an adult. Not some poor 14 year old being picked on by her mean brothers. In fact, all three of them (plus Gregg) are way too old for this stuff. It can be funny at times when they're ribbing each other but I've officially had enough. GROW UP! ALL OF YOU!

Caroline: I don't have much to say to you this week. At least you're consistent. You're as over-protective as ever, which I'm not even mad at. You did say some not-so-great things about Lauren, and I have to disagree with you. Lauren was not the only one being a bit of an a**hole. All the "kids" (aka grown ass adults who happen to be your children) were being a**holes. Caroline's grade for the week: C (because love her or hate her, she's consistent).

Kathy: I like that you are so up for anything, canoeing, surfing, whatever. It's this positive attitude and energy (for the most part) that keeps me on Team Kathy. I can't wait for next week, though, because it's going to be interesting to see how you handle Teresa excluding you from her toast at dinner. Will you speak up or let it go? Kathy's grade for the week: B (for having fun on the trip and not instigating anything).

Melissa: You are Drama Queen Number 1, but somehow, I don't think that's an insult in your eyes. I mean, you were in a stream for crying out loud. It sounded like a Freddy Kreuger movie when you fell out of that boat. But it was funny, I'll give you that. I'm wondering if all of that was just for show - I mean, were you really that scared? It came off a little phony to me. I did like how buddy buddy you're being with Teresa this whole time, though. Melissa's grade for the week: C (because she's being sweet to Tre but all that screaming was unnecessary).

Jacqueline: I'm not sure why you burst into tears when you were having your heart to heart with Teresa, but the only thing I can think of is that you were trying to really figure out if she was being sincere or not. And you've been confused by this very thing with her before. At this point, you believe she's sincere and you make up. But we all know it's temporary. I honestly don't know whether to applaud you for forgiving and forgetting on this trip, or chastise you for falling for Teresa's words again. The truth is, Teresa wants you to be her backup, which isn't always a bad thing, but you want a friend who can take criticism. Which, clearly, Teresa can not. So in the end, you two are just not meant to be friends. Jacqueline's grade for this week: N/A (because I'm torn here - she made up with her friend, which is awesome, but it turned out to not even matter in the end).

Teresa: I felt for you when you hurt your ankle. I know that pain and it sucks. As for the rest of the episode, you kind of perplexed me a little bit. It almost seemed like you were annoyed with Jacqueline for getting emotional during your conversation, but then you got emotional as well. The point is, you two don't want the same things from a friendship, period. So, you were right to say that you should go your separate ways. But of course, you two decided to make up instead. I'm not sure what's going to happen next week, but I beg of you to listen to me. I've been saying this for months if not longer. Joe Giudice is your problem. The root of all of the petty bullsh*t emanates from him. Look at my old blogs and tell me I haven't told you this all along. He is the reason you can't move forward. Teresa's grade for the week: N/A (again, I can't even grade her because we know that her friendship with Jacqueline is over).

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Hit Him Again ... Hit Him for Me

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta was ah-may-zing this week! One of the best episodes of the entire season!!! I am beyond excited for the rest of the season. So let's get right into the episode and chop it up with the ladies.

Erica: You are so much better off without Scrappy, and I'm glad K. Michelle was the one to tell you. I think you're absolutely right about Scrappy. He's going to keep doing what he's doing regardless, because he never changed from the get-go. Leave him alone and let him play with Buckey/Shay - oh, and make sure he pays his child support. I will be so disappointed if you get back together with him after all of this. Oh, and just so it's clear - his behavior is the reason why you were not affectionate with him. How could you open your heart and your arms to him and be all lovey dovey when he's hurt you so much? His behavior caused you to constantly be on the defense. You're essentially always waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's why you couldn't be this affectionate person - he took that from you. Until he realizes that, he's just going to keep hurting every single woman he's with. But that doesn't mean you have to take it anymore. Erica's grade for the week: A (for not flipping out about the Shay stuff, she's too strong for that).

Rasheeda: I'm only gonna speak on this week's episode, because that preview got me heated about you, girl! But anyway, I think it was smart to talk to the girls about the whole Scrappy/Shay situation and sure enough, they were at the mixtape release party together, and K. Michelle was able to see it for herself and tell Erica what she saw with her own eyes. Now, about your management situation, I'm glad Kirk is finally seeing things from your perspective. It is time to think bigger and move forward. I think Deb is the perfect fit for you. I'm not even mad at her for not wanting Kirk in the studio. It's a new chapter and this is the best thing for everyone. By Kirk not being there, it will set up those boundaries that the two of you need to save your marriage. Rasheeda's grade for the week: A (because she's handling everything really well ... this week).

K. Michelle: I love you, girl! I think you're a great friend. One that will tell it like it is, but in the best way possible, until you get heated (which we'll see next week). I'm very happy with the way you talked to Erica about Scrappy/Shay. It was calm and you took her feelings into consideration. You told her what you saw and nothing more (at least from what we saw on the show). K.Michelle's grade for the week: A (for having Erica's back).

Karlie: I'm still unimpressed with you, but I think it's nice that you and Joseline are getting along. Both of you need a friend right now. I'm kind of mad at Benzino for wanting to buy you that ring, though. How long have you two been together? A couple of months? Really??? Karlie's grade for the week: B (for being friends with Joseline and falling ass-backwards into a ring from Benzino).

Mimi: I am so happy for you. That therapy session was everything you predicted and more. Who would have guessed that Creepy J was going to sink his own ship so fast? It was hilarious. Now, listen to me. DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK AGAIN. Just co-parent with him, and leave it at that. I was cracking up when you said in your confessional/interview, "hit him again, hit him for me". Beautiful! And I hope you saw what Creepy J's intentions are - to control both you and Joseline. RUN. Run away from that man as fast as you can, Mimi. He is a nutcase. Mimi's grade for the week: A (for proving her point and being the bigger person, I just hope she doesn't fall for that man again).

Joseline: Now, I understand you've probably never stepped foot in a therapists' office before. But physical altercations during therapy are usually a no-no. But I had to stand up and cheer when you beat the hell out of Creepy J. That was too great. I'm not condoning violence, but that was great, I'm sorry. You really should have known that his intentions were to get back together with Mimi, though. He's never told you (as far as we've seen on the show) that he doesn't want to be with her. And now, you heard it for yourself in his confessional/interview that his plan is to control the both of you. So not cool. I know you're still with him (from the Q & A session I linked on my last LHHA blog), so I'm not even going to tell you to run away. I'm gonna tell you to watch your back. I feel sorry for you because it's almost like you don't even think you deserve to be treated better. And that's the real tragedy. Joseline's grade for the week: F (for fighting at therapy, who does that?! Joseline does that!!)

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Everyone Loves A Freebie

Last night's Real Housewives of New York really made me appreciate the fact that I'm not a New York socialite ... yet. I mean, think about it. You'd have to do favors for people who won't say thank you, put up with insensitive comments, talk about your prosthetic leg when you don't want to, and listen to some punk band at a Christmas party. Count me out! Now, don't get me wrong, there's a lot about these ladies' lives that I would be more than happy to experience. Just not on camera and not around some of the ladies on this cast. No, thank you. Let's get into the episode and hand out some grades, dammit!

Aviva: Now I see why your friendship with Ramona had to end. You can't say two words (rather, one word: "Harry") without her jumping down your throat. In all honesty, yes, it is a little annoying to always have his name brought up, but to be fair, you were in the place where you married him, so I had no problem with you telling the group and mentioning what a special place it is to you. I loved the scene with your son Harrison creating the character and putting the concept together. That's really cool that he's in on the project and that Harry and his associates are involving him. What better way to find out what the kids are going to respond to? And don't worry about knowing the words to "Jingle Bells". You didn't ask to be up there, you were roped into it and if I were you, I probably would have said no and sat down to watch with everyone else. Aviva's grade for the week: A (this lady is getting points with me all over the place!)

Carole: I think it's great that you're looking for an intern/assistant. I'm kind of surprised you don't already have one. Now, for Indian-Gate. I totally agree with you, the term American Indian is not appropriate for what Luann was trying to say. She has always said American Indian - I think, since season one - and that I know of, no one has ever corrected her. And you didn't even do it in a mean-spirited way, but you did "read" her when you said anyone older than a third grader knows to say Native American. But that was good shade, so I'm not mad at you. Seriously, though, you're absolutely right, the term American Indian does have negative connotations that come with it, and it doesn't matter if Luann is ok with it - she made you and probably others at the table uncomfortable. But I'll deal with Luann later. I'm just glad you said something. Obviously, others aren't as brave. Carole's grade for the week: A (for saying it like she means it).

Heather: You are slowly (SLOWLY) winning me over. I thought you handled Sonja and that whole mess really well, and you made your concerns known. Now, the fact that Sonja wasn't having it is a whole different story. You are bending over backwards for this project and you're not getting paid, which in my book, is one hell of a favor. There should be some kind of compensation coming your way for all this time and energy you're putting in, but let's be real, if you're gonna offer, some people are gonna take advantage. That's just how it is. That'll teach you to help a cast mate out with their business in the future. As for you and Ramona, there is no solution. I say, be polite and don't engage anymore. You've tried to be nicey nice and it didn't work. You've tried to confront her and it didn't work. In the previews for next week, it looks like you've finally had enough. I honestly don't blame you. But I will say this, do not hitch your wagon to Luann. You shouldn't have had her step in at the photo shoot at all. Let her play with the pretty jewelry instead. You don't want to be on Team Luann. Believe me. Heather's grade for the week: B (for STILL helping Sonja even AFTER their conflict).

Sonja: I hate to even say this, but damn, you love yourself a freebie, don't you? I mean, let's be real, everyone does. But to say that you're someone's CLIENT, when you haven't paid them for services, is kind of ridiculous. And not true. You're not a client, you're a friend who asked another friend for a favor, and now it's turning into a nightmare. The truth is, you needed help, and Heather came through. I know you asked Ramona for help, too, but there had to be some reason that she wasn't as involved as Heather was - whether it be that she didn't have time, or that she wasn't interested until she realized Heather was helping you, it really doesn't matter. You essentially were in a business relationship with Heather and her associates and then you bring Ramona in. For what reason, exactly? When you know these two don't get along? Did you think Ramona was going to be anything other than bratty through that entire meeting? Well, if you did, you were wrong. And it made you look bad. Also, for the record, you did point out that you wanted a different "j" in the previous meeting, but then you picked a font that you liked better. So, you and Heather are both right. Now, for Luann's situation. How you didn't laugh in her face is beyond me, but we're gonna move on. I think that whole spiel about Jacques not being 100% in the relationship with Luann was probably more accurate than they both care to admit, but it was not appropriate at that place or time. You should have said all of that at lunch with Luann when you two were alone. But, I understand the wine got the better of you. It just wasn't right to say it there. And what was Jacques going to say? "You're right, I'm leaving"??? Of course not. But I will say, you were hilarious when that band played their "song". Best reaction ever. Sonja's grade for the week: F (and it hurts me to do this to her, but come on. Fail, all the way around).

Luann: First of all, I don't care what you're comfortable calling yourself. American Indian, Native American, so on and so forth. It's not about you. When you talk about scalping and you mock the "Indian" battle cry and you pretty much say that you don't care if you offend anyone else, it's rude and obnoxious. I don't know where you get this idea that because you're YOU, you get to say whatever you want. It's very ... off-putting. About the baby, for the love of all that is sacred, stop talking about it. Make a decision with Jacques and do whatever it is that you both want to do. But, I am sick of you acting like you want other people's advice, when clearly, you're going to do whatever you want in the end anyway. As for the band, you probably should have Googled/YouTubed them to see what their overall sound was like before asking them to play a holiday party. Who does the thinking for you? That's what I want to know. Luann's grade for the week: F (because I'm tired of her ego).

Ramona: Shout out to Mario! Good for him, he had something to say, and he said it. Now, let's never mention the damn wine game ever again. But I did like how you were over it and didn't want to rehash the whole thing. I don't think you should have been at Sonja's meeting with Heather because you weren't in on this project from the beginning. You weren't privy to the other conversations that they'd had, and therefore, were of no use whatsoever at that meeting. And, you were a total brat. I don't even know why you would agree to go to the meeting, if not to just derail the whole process. At Luann's holiday party, I totally appreciated your reaction to the band, as well. Classic! Ramona's grade for the week: D (for wanting to move past certain things, but not others).

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Too Much

This week's Real Housewives of New York was gag-inducing. I almost turned it off a couple of times. I'm all for bawdy humor and naughty jokes, but man, this was not enjoyable for me at all. For those of you who didn't see it, thank your lucky stars. Some of the ladies were in Miami with Aviva and her ... less than charming dad, George. And Ramona was on one! I've traveled with people who drove me nuts before, but this was something else entirely. So let's get into the episode before I lose my nerve (or my lunch).

Ramona: Thank you for showing us all why no one should ever travel with you ever. Your brand of crazy just intensifies with travel, I'm guessing. Better you stay in the Tri-State area, or better yet, on Manhattan proper. And I was so annoyed with you and the leg - Aviva's to be exact. Why in the world were you so concerned with it? Did you not get the memo that Aviva is not into drawing attention to the leg? I hate seeing you like this. Last season you were one of my favorites, but now ... I'm just disappointed. I will say, you know how to have fun and party it up, which I guess is positive. Not sure about the bathing suit and minidress, but hey, not my problem. You do have an amazing figure, so far be it from me to tell you to cover it up. I do feel your friendship with Sonja is genuine, and Sonja's right, there's no filter big enough in the world for your mouth. You do say what's on your mind, for better or for worse, and that's why we still put up with you. Ramona's grade for the week: D (for the whining and for not shutting up about the goddamn leg).

Aviva: I love you, but your dad is too much for me. I won't even talk about all the wrong things that came out of that man's mouth. Bottom line, you're basically a saint at this point. I do want to congratulate you on the shade you threw at Ramona's bathing suit! That was some good shade and I love me some good shade. However, you shouldn't try matchmaking again any time soon. Sonja and your dad did not mesh at all. I say call up the Love Broker and let her take care of it. And did he really say "fememorone"? All in all, you kept your cool, which I wouldn't have been able to do, so you get major points in my book. And I don't think you set out to exclude anyone, but I would like to know how the trip came about and why it wasn't mentioned to Heather/Luann? Aviva's grade for the week: A (for putting up with all of that crazy).

Carole: Still the sanest person on the show. And the coolest. You were smart to leave Miami early, although, Miami is amazing and I probably would never want to leave ever. And I love Ranjana. What an amazing woman! If some of the ladies would have stopped yapping long enough to listen to her, they could have learned a lot. I think you were right to talk to Luann about the whole dress thing. If you got a weird vibe from it, it's better to just get it out there. You already have tension with her (because she pretty much created it), so you definitely have a right to say what's on your mind. Besides, you were calm about it and totally open to hearing her side. Carole's grade for the week: A (for handling the situation with Luann gracefully).

Sonja: I really think you play to whoever is around, so if you're with Ramona, you two are the Bopsy twins all of a sudden. Then, when you're with Luann, you're very "dahling". Just something I noticed. I wasn't surprised that Aviva's dad wasn't your cup of tea and if I were you, I would have slapped him a couple of times. But he probably would have liked that, so never mind. I mean, when you have to tell someone they're being inappropriate, that's bad! You were definitely not having any of his antics, but you weren't mean about it, which I'm sure Aviva appreciated. I have to say - you understand Ramona better than anyone else and that's why your friendship is real. So mazel for that. Sonja's grade for the week: B (for dealing with Mr. Handsy better than I would have).

Luann: I really don't know what you did or did not ask for from Carole's friend, but something about it wasn't right. I mean, she felt the need to bring it up to you, and she's not a drama queen, so there had to have been something wrong there. I appreciate that you explained the situation and all, but you looked very uncomfortable and almost taken aback by the whole thing. I don't think you know what to make of Carole. You just know you want her on your side, and I don't blame you! Luann's grade for the week: C (for answering for the dress debacle).

Heather: I was going to be very snide about your date night and your caviar but now that I think about it, good for you! I'm the last person to begrudge someone a nice dinner with their husband to celebrate all their hard work. I may not be a fan of yours, but dammit, enjoy that caviar to the fullest. And in all sincerity, I don't think Aviva purposely didn't invite you to Miami. I just didn't get that impression. Heather's grade for the week: B (because she's doing her own thing and I do respect that).

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The L Word

This week's Love and Hip Hop Atlanta was really, really good. I was very satisfied with all the drama and the storylines, although I still feel some are manufactured, they're all coming along really well. I'm glad this show is expanding to more topics than just Joseline and Stevie J (still Creepy as Hell J). Not that it isn't a major plotline, because it is, I'm just glad there's more going on with everyone else. And we're seeing it all unfold, which I love. Let's jump right in, shall we?

Mimi: After the therapy session, all I can say is, now I get it. I finally see where you're coming from and why you continue to let that man back into your life. My hope for you is that after watching the show, you're able to see him for what he really is - not the family man he's promising to be - and move on. You can co-parent with him, but you don't have to subject yourself to more lies in the future. And how much do I love Dr. Jeff Gardere??? He is amazing!! Love him!! Mimi's grade for the week: C (for going to therapy and opening up, but I'm afraid she's still too close to that man).

Rasheeda: I think you're absolutely right to want to separate your marriage from your business. Your husband cannot carry this workload anymore. So, yes, someone else does need to come in and get things moving in the right direction. I'm totally Team Rasheeda on this one. Rasheeda's grade for the week: A (because she's trying to do right by her career and her marriage, and I respect that).

Erica: We didn't see you on this episode, but we did see Scrappy and Shay/Buckey. Enough said. I'm sorry, but it's not your problem that Scrappy wanted to manipulate the child support system. He should be giving you child support. End of discussion. Team Erica all the way. Erica's grade for the week: A (for taking care of her business, and not being drunk in a pool hall somewhere).

Joseline: I really don't understand the love/hate relationship you have with Creepy J, but I think you love the fact that he tries to control you. Maybe that's due to the childhood you had. I honestly feel sorry for you at times, because I feel like you're trying to liberate yourself from certain things (da stricklub) by shackling yourself to others (the studio). Either way, you're someone's property. I hope you can see one day that being under any man's thumb is no way to live. Joseline's grade for the week: D (for still playing into Stevie J's bullsh*t).

Karlie: Your entire storyline seems way too fake for me, but I'll go ahead and comment on it. Your management doesn't want you dating Benzino. I say, go for it because that's the most noteworthy thing you've done that I can think of. Controversy is going to be your best friend, honey, because we haven't heard not one track of yours on the show. So get it together. And Benzino's right. You're not that hot right now anyway. Karlie's grade for the week: F (for being fake).

K.Michelle: I liked seeing you on a date this week! I thought that was really cute. Hopefully we'll see how things play out with whats-his-name. I still really like you! K.Michelle's grade for the week: A (because she's cool).

I have to shout out Kevin (TheSkorpion) and Makael (Makael86) from The Skorpion Show for asking some amazing questions to the cast of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta just this past week. Check it out here, and make sure to follow them on Twitter and subscribe to their YouTube channel. They are the best!!

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Middle of Somewhere

This week's Real Housewives of New Jersey was far less infuriating than last week's, for sure. There were still moments of irritating behavior, mind you - we ARE talking about the New Jersey cast, after all. But so far, they're taking my advice (I know they filmed this last year, I'm being facetious) and trying to get along in the great outdoors in California. I don't even really mind that none of them know how to rough it - I'm not an outdoorsey person myself. It was hilarious to see them buy up the whole supplies store (decorations!), though. I do have to clarify that to my knowledge you park your RV in the parking lot, and set up camp nearby, right? That's what you're supposed to do? Like I said, not outdoorsey. But, let's get into the episode without any further ado.

Teresa: I'm starting with you because I'm glad you talked to Kathy and Melissa and played nice with everyone. I'm starting to think you're really trying, which is great. I'm not so sure you're going to be able to patch things up with Jacqueline - but I guess we'll see what happens in the coming episodes. Your reaction to the RV experience was definitely annoying. I think it's not such a great idea to tell your fellow RV'ers that you hate the place that you - and they - are RV'ing. But I could be wrong. The whining was over the top, even for you. The scene on the beach with Melissa was actually really great, because it seemed like you truly listened to Melissa and got all your frustrations out. You essentially blame Caroline for the demise of your friendship with Jacqueline. Fine. Understandable. Now, leave all that "in the past" (your favorite expression) and don't harp on it. But, I have a serious warning for you - be careful what you say in your interviews/confessionals. Those interviews have a way of undermining any progress you're making while filming, which many other 'Wives can attest to. Teresa's grade for the week: C (because she did good with her cast mates, but her whining was too much).

Jacqueline: I appreciate that you gave Teresa credit for being nice on the trip. And I think you really wanted to patch things up with her at this point in the trip. We'll see how it all unfolds. But for now, you were cool on this episode. I like seeing you happy. Jacqueline's grade for the week: A (for having fun on the trip so far).

Kathy: I loved your conversation with Teresa about the cookies - and I'm so glad that case is closed once and for all. I'm glad you're so into the trip and having fun with it. And by the way, I thought that hat in the supply store was cute! Now, about Richie, he's definitely a wild man and he needs to cover up a little more, if you know what I mean! OMG! How many boners can we fit into one episode? Ridiculous. I guess it's a good sign that you and Richie are still frisky with each other. Not all of your cast mates can say the same. Just saying. Kathy's grade for the week: A (because I love her).

Caroline: I am so glad you told Kathy to not let your issues with Teresa interfere with them getting close again. Good for you. But, I have to point out that when Chris and Jacqueline were talking about reconciling with Teresa, you were right there to say that people need to admit to "their wrongs". It's really not your decision what Jacqueline does, and even though what you said is totally right, you should probably stay far, far away from Jacqueline and Teresa's friendship. Caroline's grade for the week: C (because she needs to apply the same logic she has with Kathy to Jacqueline).

Melissa: You certainly looked like you were having fun on this episode! I loved seeing you and Teresa bond - on the beach, in the RV, touching boobs, whatever. Although the whining in stereo was a little off putting, I must say. I can appreciate that you were trying to put on a nice face for the other RV'ers but not long before that, you had been less than kind about the parking lot/RV camp as well. But nice try. I'm so glad you talked to Teresa on the beach. You two walked away looking like friends, which was really nice to see. I think you've learned how to adapt to Teresa and maybe you're one of the few people who can get through to her. I think that's great. Melissa's grade for the week: B (for being nice to Teresa and having a good time with her).

And just so you know I'm fair, the Manzo kids whined too much on this episode, too! But Greg is still my favorite.

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