Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Friggin' Evil Eye

The season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County was one of the best I've seen in a long time. The backdrop was gorgeous (Heather, I still want you to adopt me) and the drama was EPIC! At every turn there was another crisis, walk out, toast, evil eye, or screaming match. It was absolutely unreal how entertaining this hour of television was. And it made me not regret watching so much tv. Because if you watch enough of it, something extraordinary like this comes along. All other Housewives, pay attention. All season finales must be as dramatic as a telenovela from now on. Get into it.

Let's go!

Heather: I'm starting with you because we're officially BFFs in my head. You can be as fancy as you want. When it's time to throw someone out of your house, you throw them out of your house! You were not playing with that looney bird, not one bit. I loved the diamond in the champagne glass idea - so incredibly out of my league, but I love it. And now, I'm only going to say "shamps" instead of champagne. So classy. The only thing I have to call you out on was interrupting Terry and Jim's conversation. We know Jim doesn't come around because he hates being around the Housewives, so the fact that he and Terry were making a little bit of progress was awesome. But as soon as you came up, he tensed up. They really should have talked another time, but it happened and that's that. I know you meant no harm by joining the conversation, but it really didn't help the situation at all. Terry is a little feisty, though! He's almost as catty as the girls sometimes! I really hope you come back next season and show us your restaurant! Can't wait for the reunion! Heather's grade for the week: B (her only mistake was interrupting Terry and Jim).

Alexis: I think this is your last season on the show. I think it's great you and Jim have such a tight bond and you have each other's back, but it was a little jarring to see him take off without telling you anything. And then you had to jump into the car at the last second before he sped off! To be honest, it looked a little "Pretty Woman", no? Ok, just saying. Anyway, you were way out of line for putting your hands in not only Heather's face, but Slade's face as well. And I'm not a Slade fan, per say, but it was really rude of you to do that. You weren't listening at all, and you were almost as whiny and annoying as Sarah. And here's a question: If Bravo put her in your limo and made you go to the party with her, then why were you defending her all night??? I'm just saying, again. Now, let's talk about this Jim thing and how he basically asked you if you wear the pants in the marriage in front of everyone. Um, the answer is no. You don't. And that's obvious. I'm sure it was meant in a joking manner, but seriously, Jim's never been super nice to you in social settings (on camera). So, really this remark didn't surprise me, but it did irk me. But hey, if you like it, I love it. Focus on your trampoline parks and say goodbye to the show. We're over you. Alexis' grade for the week: C (for standing by her man, but she's still annoying as hell).

Gretchen: I'm so glad you didn't get involved in the Tamra/Vicki disaster this week. You did the right thing and stayed out of it. I also want to say I totally agreed when you told Alexis to get her hand out of Slade's face, you were so right about that! I think your gift to Tamra was sincere and very nice. I hope you two remain friends. I think you should come back next season for sure - we want to see if you and Slade have babies and get married, of course. But also, you've been able to mend things with your arch enemy and it shows that people can bury the hatchet once and for all. And that's something to celebrate. Gretchen's grade for the week: A (for ending the season on a high note).

Tamra: Now, we all know you were half in the bag at this party. So, you were probably right on the edge. So when Brooks challenged you, you just took a swan dive right off of it. Not that I blame you, but it was ugly. The best thing would have been to ignore it, or just say "Yes, I rolled my eyes". However, there was a point where you could have stopped it. When you followed Vicki and Brooks out of the house, that was too much. It was way too much. Also, when you came up to Jim and Terry, you were not going to make that conversation any better. That's why Jim ran. I don't know if he's afraid of the "truth", but he's definitely not willing to speak to you. You can take that any way you want. I can't really defend you even going over there, because it had nothing to do with you. Jim was telling Terry what he heard and Terry and even Heather were setting the record straight because YOU misquoted him. So really, you should have only been there to say that you misspoke, which you weren't going to do. I actually like you a lot, and I'm glad you're engaged to Eddie and happy. But, you have to learn how to pick your battles. Not everything warrants a screaming match. It sucks to watch a friendship implode, but that spectacle between you and Vicki was disgusting. Tamra's grade for the week: F (because she could have handled all of that so much better).

Vicki: Can I just say, the screaming. The screaming was totally unnecessary and completely disgusting. I know you just want people to respect your choices and leave Brooks alone, but here's the thing. You don't respect other people's choices and you don't leave people alone when you don't like them. So, it's a little hard to feel sorry for you right now. I mean, the whole evil eye thing? Seriously? Like you haven't rolled your eyes before? Come on, now. I guess it was chivalrous of Brooks to stand up to Tamra for you, but I have to question a man who instigates an argument with a woman at a party over an eye roll. Kind of crazy, no? And then, he realizes he looks stupid when Briana tells you you're isolating yourself and then rushes back into the party with you. It's all very weird. Like he's trying to play a part or something. People are picking up on it and you're not. It doesn't mean they're right about him, it just means there's something you're not seeing. And that should make you think. Most of all, when it's your daughter telling you that something isn't right. She has no reason to lie to you. Listen to her. And for the record, you should be so grateful your new son in law has manners because any other guy would have told you to get lost. This should be your last season. I know you're the OC OG, but it's not working for you anymore. No more woo-hoos for you. Vicki's grade for the week: F (for not listening to anyone, and for being completely blind when it comes to Brooks).

What did you think of the season finale? Tweet me!