Not Really Reality

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to blog about Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, but let's jump right into it. Now, I'm starting to feel the same as TheSkorpionShow and MuchLoveFromKY on YouTube (subscribe to both of them!!!), that this show is scripted, or at least semi-scripted. There really is nothing wrong with a semi-scripted show, it just shouldn't be that obvious to the viewers. Someone needs to do something about that. If we can tell it's scripted, that's a problem. Now, we got to know a couple of the other cast members a little bit better on this episode but the majority of it was all Stevie J, Mimi, and Joseline again. I'm sorry, but every episode better not be all about them. This storyline is going to go overboard real quick (if it hasn't already), so we need to make sure all of the cast members have their fair share of the camera time. I don't mind if the whole Stevie/Mimi/Jo story plays out over the whole season, just don't dedicate half of every episode to it. Spend a good 15 to 20 minutes of the episode on it and keep it moving. But let's talk about the episode itself. If you need to get caught up, click here.

K.Michelle wasn't on the episode this week, so no grade for her, but she is in next week's episode.

Arianne: I love your friendship with Mimi and I think you're right to want her to leave him. Unfortunately, it's not your choice to make. But you keep being a good friend to her and support her like you're already doing. And by the way, you are stunning! Gorgeous! Arianne's grade for the week: A (for being a good friend).

Karlie: Oh my God. You were hilarious in that scene with Joseline at the gym. I love how you weren't impressed with her insults. I say, stay on Mimi's side. Joseline isn't the boss. But I am in agreement with Kevin and Makael from The Skorpion Show, why are you so obsessed with working with Stevie J when you're man's father is LA Reid??? You should be working with HIM! Unless he said no to you? Hmm ... anyway, you really need to get yourself out of the middle and start working on your music. Be on Mimi's side but don't be the Suzie of this show. Please. Karlie's grade for the week: B (because she's alright, but she needs to start showing us her talent - and I don't mean her talent for stirring up drama).

Erica: I understand where you're coming from with Lil Scrappy. The truth is, you don't trust him and you do have a wall up. I don't think you two are going to get back together and have a real relationship. It's better if you agree to co-parent and be cool with each other. He obviously doesn't know how to fix the broken trust between you. And you need to let go of that anger so that you can meet someone else and trust them. Hopefully you will find that person who won't let you down. Erica's grade for the week: B (because she has a right to have that wall up, but eventually, she's going to have to break that wall down).

Rasheeda: I like you! You're feisty and fun, and a little crazy - but in a good way. I think you are going to be a fan favorite, for sure. And I love that you're putting your music out there on the show and you're showing us what you're all about. No hesitation, just: here it is! I love it. The fact that you work with your husband is a big part of your storyline, and I think it's going to work out well on the show. We'll get to see the drama, like we did on the set of the video, and we'll get to see the dynamics of your relationship all at the same time. The video shoot was a little messy - you were late and upset - but the point is, this is your career. Nina from Much Love From KY is right: you are the star. So what if you have to be your own stylist? Get it together and do what you have to do. Rasheeda's grade for the week: B (because I like her a lot, but she has to take charge of her career and not let anything slow her down).

Joseline: Where do I start? Well, the pregnancy test scene looked like a movie. I can honestly say, you did look beautiful in that scene. The lighting, the makeup, they made you look great peeing on that home pregnancy test. Now, as for the scene with Stevie J, or should I say Creepy J, ugh. I can't with that. He is the worst. Seriously, we all know it's his. Or at least that's what we've come to believe on the show. You confirmed that you are sleeping with him and that you're not with anyone else. I cannot believe he brought up the fact that you have photo shoots coming up! Really? I'm sorry, but whatever you decide to do, do not continue to see this man romantically. Work with him if you can, but even then, it's just creepy. In all honesty, I think you should run for your life (away from Creepy J) on this one. I do feel sorry for you in a small way, because you are a woman in love/infatuation, and it is a sad situation. But you put yourself there, and now it's time to get yourself out. And here's another bit of advice, don't go around telling people you're the boss and Creepy J will work with whoever you say. Because we all know that's not true. Know your role. You are the jump-off, nothing more. The proof is in that disgusting reaction Creepy J gave you when you told him you're pregnant. Joseline's grade for the week: D (even though I feel sorry for her, she needs to wake up and smell the coffee).

Mimi: Speaking of waking up, Mimi, when did this savvy businesswoman pop up out of nowhere??? Here's my thing, why did it take you 15 years to demand 10% of Creepy J's money? In reality, that should have been happening since day one, since you are his main chick, right? Was that whole contract negotiation scene scripted? Because it felt like it was. Especially with the piano interlude. Barf. I'm serious. The sight of Creepy J turns my stomach. I can't. But, Mimi, I hope you're going to play the role of the serious business partner the whole way through the season and just take that man's money and go on about your business. Hell, you should get a boyfriend! But please do not be all lovey dovey with Creepy J or even entertain his advances towards you. Mimi's grade for the week: C (because I like that she's getting into the business, but it should have been that way already, and I can't stand to see her fall for Creepy J's bulls*t). 


What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

The Friggin' Evil Eye

The season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County was one of the best I've seen in a long time. The backdrop was gorgeous (Heather, I still want you to adopt me) and the drama was EPIC! At every turn there was another crisis, walk out, toast, evil eye, or screaming match. It was absolutely unreal how entertaining this hour of television was. And it made me not regret watching so much tv. Because if you watch enough of it, something extraordinary like this comes along. All other Housewives, pay attention. All season finales must be as dramatic as a telenovela from now on. Get into it.

Let's go!

Heather: I'm starting with you because we're officially BFFs in my head. You can be as fancy as you want. When it's time to throw someone out of your house, you throw them out of your house! You were not playing with that looney bird, not one bit. I loved the diamond in the champagne glass idea - so incredibly out of my league, but I love it. And now, I'm only going to say "shamps" instead of champagne. So classy. The only thing I have to call you out on was interrupting Terry and Jim's conversation. We know Jim doesn't come around because he hates being around the Housewives, so the fact that he and Terry were making a little bit of progress was awesome. But as soon as you came up, he tensed up. They really should have talked another time, but it happened and that's that. I know you meant no harm by joining the conversation, but it really didn't help the situation at all. Terry is a little feisty, though! He's almost as catty as the girls sometimes! I really hope you come back next season and show us your restaurant! Can't wait for the reunion! Heather's grade for the week: B (her only mistake was interrupting Terry and Jim).

Alexis: I think this is your last season on the show. I think it's great you and Jim have such a tight bond and you have each other's back, but it was a little jarring to see him take off without telling you anything. And then you had to jump into the car at the last second before he sped off! To be honest, it looked a little "Pretty Woman", no? Ok, just saying. Anyway, you were way out of line for putting your hands in not only Heather's face, but Slade's face as well. And I'm not a Slade fan, per say, but it was really rude of you to do that. You weren't listening at all, and you were almost as whiny and annoying as Sarah. And here's a question: If Bravo put her in your limo and made you go to the party with her, then why were you defending her all night??? I'm just saying, again. Now, let's talk about this Jim thing and how he basically asked you if you wear the pants in the marriage in front of everyone. Um, the answer is no. You don't. And that's obvious. I'm sure it was meant in a joking manner, but seriously, Jim's never been super nice to you in social settings (on camera). So, really this remark didn't surprise me, but it did irk me. But hey, if you like it, I love it. Focus on your trampoline parks and say goodbye to the show. We're over you. Alexis' grade for the week: C (for standing by her man, but she's still annoying as hell).

Gretchen: I'm so glad you didn't get involved in the Tamra/Vicki disaster this week. You did the right thing and stayed out of it. I also want to say I totally agreed when you told Alexis to get her hand out of Slade's face, you were so right about that! I think your gift to Tamra was sincere and very nice. I hope you two remain friends. I think you should come back next season for sure - we want to see if you and Slade have babies and get married, of course. But also, you've been able to mend things with your arch enemy and it shows that people can bury the hatchet once and for all. And that's something to celebrate. Gretchen's grade for the week: A (for ending the season on a high note).

Tamra: Now, we all know you were half in the bag at this party. So, you were probably right on the edge. So when Brooks challenged you, you just took a swan dive right off of it. Not that I blame you, but it was ugly. The best thing would have been to ignore it, or just say "Yes, I rolled my eyes". However, there was a point where you could have stopped it. When you followed Vicki and Brooks out of the house, that was too much. It was way too much. Also, when you came up to Jim and Terry, you were not going to make that conversation any better. That's why Jim ran. I don't know if he's afraid of the "truth", but he's definitely not willing to speak to you. You can take that any way you want. I can't really defend you even going over there, because it had nothing to do with you. Jim was telling Terry what he heard and Terry and even Heather were setting the record straight because YOU misquoted him. So really, you should have only been there to say that you misspoke, which you weren't going to do. I actually like you a lot, and I'm glad you're engaged to Eddie and happy. But, you have to learn how to pick your battles. Not everything warrants a screaming match. It sucks to watch a friendship implode, but that spectacle between you and Vicki was disgusting. Tamra's grade for the week: F (because she could have handled all of that so much better).

Vicki: Can I just say, the screaming. The screaming was totally unnecessary and completely disgusting. I know you just want people to respect your choices and leave Brooks alone, but here's the thing. You don't respect other people's choices and you don't leave people alone when you don't like them. So, it's a little hard to feel sorry for you right now. I mean, the whole evil eye thing? Seriously? Like you haven't rolled your eyes before? Come on, now. I guess it was chivalrous of Brooks to stand up to Tamra for you, but I have to question a man who instigates an argument with a woman at a party over an eye roll. Kind of crazy, no? And then, he realizes he looks stupid when Briana tells you you're isolating yourself and then rushes back into the party with you. It's all very weird. Like he's trying to play a part or something. People are picking up on it and you're not. It doesn't mean they're right about him, it just means there's something you're not seeing. And that should make you think. Most of all, when it's your daughter telling you that something isn't right. She has no reason to lie to you. Listen to her. And for the record, you should be so grateful your new son in law has manners because any other guy would have told you to get lost. This should be your last season. I know you're the OC OG, but it's not working for you anymore. No more woo-hoos for you. Vicki's grade for the week: F (for not listening to anyone, and for being completely blind when it comes to Brooks).

What did you think of the season finale? Tweet me!

You're Uninvited

Well, everyone, keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times, because we are in full-fledged Ramonacoaster mode! This week's Real Housewives of New York was kind of a throwback to seasons gone by when it was all about parties and being on the right guest list. It reminded me so much of Jill and Ramona's big blow ups back in the first season in the Hamptons. Not much has really changed, I guess. I have to say, I'm happy things are getting interesting. I'm definitely going to keep watching.

Let's break it down!

Heather: I will give you one thing, when you make a decision, you stick to it. There was no way Ramona was going to get invited to London. In a way, I respect that, because it means you're not easily swayed. I still don't think you've been around long enough to have that kind of attitude (see my last RHONY blog), but hey, I guess it is what it is. If I were you, though, I'd check myself before I wreck myself. Holla! Heather's grade for the week: C (for sticking to her guns, but I don't think she's making the right moves).

Luann: You are the queen of trying to influence people, so I just think it's hilarious that you're so worried about Ramona having some kind of hold on Sonja. You're just pissed she's not under YOUR spell. Let's be clear on that. I didn't like how you were so overjoyed that Heather didn't invite Ramona to London. Isn't that poor etiquette? I just have a problem with you fighting so hard to get people on your side this season. I mean, you've always been that way, but damn. It really isn't that serious! You should just be happy you're still on the show, for Christ's sake! Why do you have to practically recruit people to be against Ramona with you? It's very strange. Luann's grade for the week: F (because she's so intent on destroying Ramona, it's sad).

Aviva: Please tell me Mario didn't really ruin the surprise about the ring you're buying for your husband. That would be really terrible. I thought it was funny when you had Heather hold your hand in the elevator. Some people were bothered by it, but seriously, I'll take a girl with some phobias over a raging egomaniac any day ... fill in the blank there. The whole gift bag thing with Ramona was a little catty - but I see your point. It was a nice gift bag, though, and you can always re-gift the products if you don't want to use them. You're still cool with Ramona at this point in the show's storyline, but we all know it's not going to last. I like that you went to bat for Ramona this week, because it shows you really liked her at first and whatever your problem is with her now  - it isn't because of someone else's influence. I think it's good you're not going to London, by the way. I see it as a coincidental symbol of solidarity with Ramona. I want to know what goes down between you two and what prompts you to call her white trash?! Aviva's grade for the week: B (for just being herself and for kindly defending Ramona).

Carole: I loved the scene with you and your friend at Occupy Wall Street, not to mention that you got your arm painted. I think we see that adventurous side of you and get to know you a little better in this episode. Still the coolest Housewife on the show by far. I can see you getting along with everyone - and that's a great place to be in on this show. You can just jump from party to party and have a good time, because I think you realize that none of this is that important. You're not concerned with gossip (that much), and even if you do talk about someone (like Heather), it's not anything terribly mean. You said she talks a lot. She does. It's not the end of the world. Maybe it's because you've seen real suffering that you can see this petty stuff for what it is. And you just don't let it get to you. You should teach a class. Carole's grade for the week: A (for taking all of this as seriously as needed: no more, no less).

Sonja: First of all, if you wake up looking like that, I'm the Queen of Spain. And second, it's not that hard to record an outgoing message. Some of this stuff you do just seems so rehearsed. I don't like it. However, you are right about the whole Ramona/Heather thing. It's Heather's choice to invite or not invite whoever she wants. It's not your fault that Ramona wasn't invited. I think if you had told Ramona from the beginning: "Look, I'm invited to this trip and I'm going. I realize it wasn't very nice of Heather to not invite you. I'm really sorry if this hurts you but I want to go on the trip. It isn't my place to invite you along. And I don't have a problem with Heather, so I don't see why I shouldn't go. I'm still your friend and I still care about you", or something to that effect, Ramona would not have been so upset with you. You have to understand, she just felt left out - which she was. You could have been a little preemptive and saved yourself a lot of heartache. But, then again, you stood Ramona up for lunch on purpose to hang with Luann. So are you really stuck in the middle? Or do you want out of the friendship with Ramona? Either way, just say it to Ramona's face and get it over with. I don't think it was cool of you to ditch Ramona for Luann. So not cool. Sonja's grade this week: D (for not telling Ramona that she didn't want to have lunch, then not giving her a heads up about London).

Ramona: I don't agree with you yelling at Sonja at her party and throwing a fit like a child. That was terrible. However, I can see where your frustration is coming from. You're used to Sonja behaving a certain way and she threw you for a loop with this London thing. The truth is, your beef is with Heather, not Sonja. And of course, Pinot had to be involved. You can't yell "Pinot on my head" without people calling you a drunk, ok? You have to know that. I thought it was nice of you to have a drink with Heather, and I could see you were just dying to ask her about London. However, this girl Heather is a totally different species than what you're used to. She didn't budge, she didn't waver. She wouldn't even let you call her your acquaintance. I think it's best for you and Heather to stay civil from afar. Just treat her like you treat Luann, really. Because you're not going to get anything from her. Don't waste your time. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for trying so hard to get invited to London, then taking it out on Sonja).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Time To Go

Hello, kids! I'm going to jump right into the latest Real Housewives of New Jersey because, let's face it, it was a doozey of an episode. Lots of drama and lots to talk about. I must say that all of this fighting needs to get resolved or else I probably won't watch next season. The reunion should be the last that we hear about all of this foolishness. I suggest bringing on a couple of new cast members who aren't related to any of the current Housewives. Just some new blood to get things going in a different (and hopefully, more fun direction). Just my opinion! Anyway, this week, Teresa made progress with Kathy, Melissa, and her brother, and Jacqueline essentially went off the deep end. I think I've made sense of everything (in my mind), so hold on tight, it's gonna be a windy road through Jersey ...

Kathy: I think you were very sweet to Teresa during your ladies lunch. It was nice of you to keep things on a positive note with her. I understand why you were cautious in your interviews regarding Teresa's motives, because, let's face it - it is kind of convenient that now that she and Jacqueline are not on good terms, Teresa is all of a sudden willing to go above and beyond with you. I say, keep your eyes open but also, embrace Teresa. She does need a friend, and it should be you. I think she can learn a lot from you. I don't have a problem with you being friends with Caroline and Jacqueline while mending things with Teresa. As long as none of them try to influence you against the other, there shouldn't be a problem. You can be a good friend to all of them. Kathy's grade for the week: A (because she's still being a positive influence on Teresa, and I appreciate that).

Melissa: Congrats on the success of "On Display"! And I do love that you and Joe Gorga will take any excuse to have a party. My kind of peeps! I have to commend you for coming clean about talking to Danielle. I'm not saying you had a good reason or anything, but you told the truth and you took responsibility for your mistake. I think you knew all along that it was going to come out eventually, anyway. But I give you credit for being honest with Teresa when she asked you about it. Now, I think you need to quit making comments like "Teresa never tweets me", because stuff like that is just unnecessary. We know who you're dealing with. Teresa is selfish and doesn't really reach out to other people unless it's convenient for her. Got it. Now, let's agree to not talk about it anymore. If you're going to make things better, don't sweat the small stuff. Or in this case, the stuff that always happens and will never ever change because it's pointless to keep bringing it up. Melissa's grade for the week: B (because she told the truth and took responsibility for her actions).

Caroline: I don't know how I feel about you right now. On one hand, your reasoning about not wanting to be around Teresa makes perfect sense. I can even see why you would tell Melissa and Kathy - so they know not to put you and Teresa together any time soon or to avoid any misconceptions about why you're not friends with Teresa anymore. I get that. But there's something about your demeanor that just isn't right. I'm wondering if it's the "change" like I thought before, or maybe just a deep-rooted anger and animosity towards Teresa, but this show isn't good for you. I think this should be your last season. Really, there's nothing really keeping you on the show now. It feels like you're done. We can sense it. So, it's not fun to watch you on the show anymore. Please don't take it the wrong way, but man ... if you're over it, we're over it. Caroline's grade for the week: D (because I don't want to watch someone who's so obviously over being on this show).

Teresa: I will give you credit for: 1) agreeing to go to therapy, 2) having a civil conversation with Melissa about her talking to Danielle, and 3) having a great lunch with Kathy. Now, if you can keep going in this direction, I feel like only good things will happen. I honestly don't care what your motives are. Therapy is going to help you communicate better, be more self-aware, and help you to see things as they truly are. The truth is, you kind of live in a fantasy world (TeresaLand), where everyone and everything is about you. But, that's not the real world. I think you have a long way to go when it comes to interpersonal relationships. I think you need to start empathizing with other people and practice seeing things from other people's perspectives. And I'm saying this to you coming from a good place. I did not like your conversation with Jacqueline at all because both of you had your walls up. Both of you were defensive and it was a waste of time. Granted, you left her alone and she sought you out. She found you and started the conversation. I really want you to be able to see where she was coming from - the anger and the hurt she was feeling over you - because maybe your heart will soften a little. Not now, but a few years down the road, I think you'll look back on this and wish you did things differently. I just want to address your husband for a second: Joe Giudice, I'm sure you're a real nice guy and all, but you're a real dick and you don't have the first clue about how resolve conflict. Oh, and Teresa, you definitely do not write your blog. This week you used the term "Nair and Napalm". If you don't know how to say the word "ingredients", you definitely can't come up with analogies like that. WHO IS YOUR GHOST WRITER??? Whoever it is, you should fire them because it's been really negative lately, and it's not helping you. Teresa's grade for the week: C (because she took positive steps with her family, but the conversation with Jacqueline was a bust, and her blogs have been horrible lately).

Jacqueline: You say you're impulsive and that's why you went to talk to Teresa. Honestly, I think you're a glutton for punishment in a way. You wanted to make Teresa understand your side of things once and for all, and big surprise, it didn't work. You know who you're dealing with here. Teresa isn't going to budge. Maybe it was the drinks that made you think you were going to get through to her, but it ended up making things worse. I believe you did have a major meltdown about the conversation with Teresa at your house, which we saw last week. I don't think you should have gone to Melissa's party at all. You needed space and peace and calm so you could see things clearly. Then, after some time had passed, then you could have possibly had another conversation with Teresa. But unfortunately, you went and the conversation was horrible. It was like you had so much to prove in that moment. You were going to change Teresa right then and there! Wrong! Teresa is not your problem. She never was. I think you're like me, in the sense that you feel a responsibility to care for and about your friends. Even when they don't want you to. Teresa wanted youto only care about the things that she told you. She wasn't banking on the fact that you'd take into consideration ALL of the other things - magazines, gossip, etc - that were floating around. I don't think you're crazy, but you definitely went overboard at the party. Your blog pretty much sums up your reasoning for everything, and I get where you're coming from. It may be time to say goodbye to this show, especially if it's going to affect you like this. Jacqueline's grade for the week: D (for seeking Teresa out at the party when she wasn't in the right frame of mind aka having a breakdown).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

You Say Ratchet, I Say Wretched

My friend at work told me I had to watch Love and Hip Hop Atlanta and all I can say is ... thank you. This show is going to give me laughs all summer long. The first episode was hilarious. This show is meant to be funny, right? Anyway, if you haven't seen it, check it out here. Let's briefly talk about these women one by one. No grades this week, since we're just getting to know them ...

Mimi: Now, you've been with your man Stevie J for 15 years and he wants to buy you a house way in the middle of nowhere so he can do whatever he wants in the city. Newsflash! He's doing whatever he wants RIGHT NOW! And her name is Joseline. But we'll get to her later. I think you're a good person and a good woman, but you need to leave him quick. There is no way you can't see that he's lying to you. Unless, you're willing to share and you don't care - but I don't think that's the case. You care too much. And he is never going to change. Know that.

Joseline: You should be ashamed of yourself. And I'm not even talking about being Stevie J's proud mistress (ain't that an oxy-f*cking-moron?). I'm talking about posting naked pics of yourself so we can see you're a real woman. Now, I don't doubt you're a woman. You just have very masculine features. And you're very muscular with big fake boobs. Like a tranny. And you dress like a broke down Rihanna-impersonating drag queen. So, that's where people's confusion comes in. Now, I found out you're one of mine (Puerto Rican), and I just need to apologize to all the viewers for your terrible display on this show. We're not all like this. I promise.

Erica: I'm really interested in your story with your baby's father Lil Scrappy. I like you so far!

Momma Dee: Trained to Go and In That Order! YES!! You're giving Mama Jones and Frankie a run for their money!

Karlie: I don't blame you for outing Stevie J and Joseline as having an affair to Mimi. It's the truth! They presented themselves to you a certain way and you assumed it was common knowledge. Not your problem. But, I will say I was annoyed with how you were acting SO thirsty at dinner with Stevie J. Calm down! Is it really that hard to get into the studio with him that you had to get up and show your ass?

K. Michelle: I really like you, too and I'm glad you weren't about to get in the middle of the Joseline/Karlie/Mimi mess. And I love your voice!

I know there are other cast members, but I haven't seen enough of them to have an opinion just yet. I cannot wait for the next episode! What did you think of the show? Tweet me!

Nip Slip and Bitten Bow

Part 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County finale was friggin' epic. There was so much going on, that I was actually sad that it wasn't a two hour episode. And that's saying a lot because there have been some snoozer episodes this season. Heather's naming party was so over the top amazing, I want to change my name to Dubrow, too. Thank you to ImaJustSaying on Twitter for showing us Kara's (Jeana's daughter) nip slip that I totally did not see while watching the show. Crazy! Maybe it was karma for her making such a big deal about being at the same party as Tamra (a poncho? Really?). And let's address Miss Sarah right now. Bitch, you were wrong. And even if your a raging diabetic, there is no reason you had to break of a piece off the cake. No sugar problem in the world warrants that kind of bullshit. Your problem is, you don't like Heather and for SOME reason (ahem, Bravo producers), you went to her party, and you wanted to steal a little of her shine. That was the dumbest, most unnecessary, passive aggressive move I've ever seen. And no, it does not give you Housewife status. So take that off your Twitter name immediately. Sober up and eat that friggin' Oreo Heather gave you, and sit down!

Alexis: You really need to rethink who's on your team. Get as far away from Sarah as possible and make up with Gretchen. I'm glad you wanted to defend Sarah and be a good friend to her, but she was wrong, wrong, wrong. And you telling everyone that it wasn't a big deal was super annoying. Also, if it's such a burden being on this show and dealing with these women, there's the door. Don't let it hit you on the way out. Alexis' grade for the week: F (because I'm sick of her whining all the time).

Gretchen: I loved that you were so happy for Tamra and Eddie getting engaged. That was really nice to see. I think you're a real, genuine friend and unfortunately, Alexis is just a brat who can't take advice. Bottom line, you were there for her enough to be real with her and she couldn't take it. I'm glad you're not in a hurry to get married. You're entitled to have your concerns and you shouldn't do it unless you're ready and all of your issues with Slade are worked out - or at least in the process of being worked out. I can't wait to see you react to Sarah on next week's episode. Get her out of there! Gretchen's grade for the week: A (because I think she's a good friend, regardless of what Alexis says).

Vicki: I don't know where Brooks got that fur coat (gross), but if he can't afford his own dental work, he can't afford a f*cking mink coat. Get real. Now, you're in LaLaLand at Heather's party and I was going to forgive all that, until I saw the preview for next week when you and Tamra have a screaming match. Good God, Vicki. Please do not come back next season. You refuse to listen to what anyone has to say. Your way is the only way. Do you know how frustrating that is to everyone else? I just hope you wake up and see that everyone's perception of Brooks is what it is for a reason. And you don't help matters by being so defensive. I did love how appalled you were with Sarah, though. We're on the same page there. Vicki's grade for the week: D (because she needs to get a grip, fast).

Tamra: I am really happy that you apologized for the wine incident with Jeana. I hope you are able to control your anger better in the future. But, according to the previews for next week, you and Vicki get into it and it's not pretty. I think you are a happier person now that you're with Eddie, but Angry Tamra is still in there. May I suggest therapy? Just a thought. You were also anti-Sarah and I totally agree with you on that. She was so wrong. Tamra's grade for the week: B (for apologizing to Jeana - I can't count next week's preview against her, gotta watch and grade that week on its own).

Heather: Your face was PUH-RICELESS when you were telling the girls about Sarah tearing off a piece of the bow on your cake and chowing down on it. So funny. I know you were pissed, but that was so hilarious to me. I don't think you overreacted at all. She should have apologized. Instead, she wanted to argue. You really should have asked her to leave right then and there and told her to take Alexis with her. Sarah got off easy, in my opinion, and you gave her an Oreo! For her sugar problem! I love it! Your party was gorgeous, by the way. I really hope you come back next season. Heather's grade for the week: A (for her facial expressions alone, you know I love me some facial expressions).

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Holla!

How I forgot to talk about Heather's tagline, I will never know. Let's chalk it up to being a scatterbrain. Now, the Real Housewives of New York this week was pretty entertaining. A lot of really funny moments - some more awkwardly funny, but hey I'll take it. This one is gonna be brief. If you want me to address something - or if I missed something - please let me know and I'll address it on Twitter.

Heather: I think you are a very capable businesswoman, and all of your advice to Sonja was great. However, you're too new to this game to be cut-throat. You are supposed to invite EVERYONE on these trips. You need to have at least two full seasons under your belt before you start excluding people. And I have to say, I think I know what it is that rubs me the wrong way about you. You are way too cocky and way too new. What I mean is, you have this attitude, like people are supposed to move out of the way for you. Like, Here comes Heather!, but we don't know you. You haven't given us a chance to warm up to you. It's like you've been shoved down our throats. And you say "Holla" in your tagline without realizing that it sounds phonier than Kim Zolciak's voice on "Tardy for the Party". I'm just saying, know your role. You're a newbie and it may be that you're coming on too strong for me, but I'm not feeling you. Ya heard? Heather's grade for the week: D (all I have to say is "Holla", am I right?).

Sonja: I admire you for wanting to make a new start with your finances and your businesses sound like really great ideas - just listen to Heather and Ramona. Heather's advice about branding was right on. And Ramona will show you how to be organized and on top of everything. You have great business resources with those two. I do think you need to stop bringing up Aviva's ex-husband. The whole subject is very cringey and off-putting. Plus, there are so many other interesting things that you all can talk about. I love that you're up for a ladies' trip at a moments' notice. That what makes you a great friend - you'll drop everything for a chance to have some fun. Sonja's grade for the week: B (because I'm proud of her ambitions for her new business ventures).

Luann: You're not serious about having a baby. Unless you adopt, or something feasible like that. You're like Sue Sylvester, and I'm Roz Washington here to tell you that you're baby is going to come out walking and talking with a briefcase. Please. And for the record, I don't know if Ramona is jealous of your friendship with Sonja, but it seems to me that you should have been a lot friendlier at the jewelry launch with Ramona. I understand being careful, but you made it obvious that you don't want to be around her and the agreement was to be civil and forget the past and make a new start. I didn't see that. I saw you get out of dodge. I will say, it was funny when you were on the skateboard, that made me laugh. Luann's grade for the week: C (for not really coming through on what she said at the park).

Ramona: I don't know why you apologized to Heather, but what you said was really nice. I think you were genuine, but I don't know what your motive was behind it. Maybe you thought she'd invite you on the trip? Not that I'm judging, I might have tried the same thing if I were you, but my thing is, do not let that trip bother you. You have been on that show since day one, and you know those trips are 90% drama anyway. I thought you handled Mario and Carole's flirtation the best way you could - you called it like you saw it and laughed it off. You've been laughing off Mario's flirting since season 1, so it didn't surprise me at all. I loved your advice to Sonja about business and I hope you two are still friends. The previews for next week have me scared that we have another Jill/Bethenny situation on our hands. Say it ain't so! Ramona's grade for the week: B (for apologizing and being a good friend to Sonja).

Carole: I love you, but you gotta watch the flirting. I know you said you only do it in front of the wife (because you don't have bad intentions), but not everyone is as cool with it as Ramona. I just don't want to see you get popped by some crazy lady at a party or something. I think it's great you have such a laid-back attitude when it comes to marriage, but not everyone feels the same way. I say, do what works for you. It seems to have served you well thus far. Carole's grade for the week: C (because the flirting might get her in trouble).

Aviva: I was laughing so hard when Sonja told your husband that he looked like a lumberjack. That was too much. But, yes, I agree, he needs to be wearing a wedding band. Also, I loved the scenes with your kids. I don't think it's that big of a deal that you changed your son's name when he was 4 months old. I think it would be weird if you changed it back to what you wanted it to be after your divorce! But you didn't, so no worries. I thought it was great that you talked about your phobias so openly. It sucks when people try to hide their crazy (we all have our crazy, let's be real). It's so much better when we just put it out there and say "take it or leave it". Aviva's grade for the week: A (for putting it all out there).

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Turning Point

I was really surprised with the Real Housewives of New Jersey episode on Sunday, because I was all ready to go off on Teresa again. But now, I'm ready to go off on Jacqueline and Caroline, too. I watched the show yesterday and I'm still not sure what the hell happened. All I know is, it sucks to lose a friend. And it's even worse to lose a friend over rumors, gossip, and miscommunication. All of this could have been avoided, but I think the relationships had run their course, and the people involved were all too stubborn to see the other's side. The greatest mediator in the world couldn't have saved that mess of a conversation/confrontation. So let's get this over with. Because frankly, the whole thing just makes me sad.

Caroline: I definitely think you were wrong to barge in on Jacqueline and Teresa's conversation. It wasn't a matter of you bringing over the kids' clothes - you wanted to get in on the action. And even though some feel that Jacqueline told you to come over, I don't think she did. I don't think it was an ambush. I do think it was totally unnecessary for you to come and take over the conversation. You talked over both Jacqueline and Teresa and it was completely uncalled for. No matter what you thought you needed to say to Teresa, it should have been at another time and place. Not then and there. I know why you're frustrated with Teresa, hell, I am! But now, you're looking crazy for butting in and it's not helping your image. Back off! I told you this WEEKS ago. Of course, the show was filmed months and months ago, but still. I called this sh*t. In your blog this week, you kept it cute (and quiet) and I appreciate that. I don't know who's telling you to be quiet, but they're right, and don't stop listening to them. This isn't your deal anymore. Caroline's grade for the week: F (for getting in a conversation that had nothing to do with her).

Jacqueline: I really like you as a person, but you annoyed the hell out of me this week. You could have articulated your points with Teresa so much better! What happened? Were you just so angry that you couldn't control your approach with her? No judgment, it's happened to me, too. I'm just saying. You really could have handled it better. Knowing that you were on the brink of a breakdown explains a lot. And next week, we get to see it. I'm not looking forward to it. To me, this is all so sad. I believe you when you said in your blog that you didn't know what to believe anymore. But just like you wanted Teresa to be straight with you, you should have been straight with her from the beginning of the conversation. You did beat around the bush a lot at first. Then when you finally did make your points, Teresa was too angry to even hear them. And then, the infamous "let it go" moment regarding Danielle. I understood what you meant. If Teresa was really willing to fix things, she shouldn't have dignified Danielle's claims with a response. However, I'm pretty sure that if you were in her place, you would have responded too. And the problem was, you all were filming this season while last season aired. Note to Bravo: Don't ever do that again!!! (Makenzie Myers voice). But seriously, this was too much for you - between Caroline hating Teresa and Teresa flitting around like everything was fabulous and the magazines with HER face on them with QUOTES from HER ... no wonder you cracked. I honestly think you had reasons to be upset, it was your delivery that was off. If you had sat down with Teresa and asked her point blank if certain things were true or not, you could have then said "yes, I believe you" or "no, I don't". And when Caroline came over, you should have told her to go home. She didn't let you get a word in, and it just made you even more mad. Jacqueline's grade for the week: F (for botching the conversation).

Teresa: I read your blog, and while I do not agree with everything you wrote, I do have to say that you made a couple of good points. The whole Danielle thing is a huge mess - and I can understand why you were confused by what Jacqueline was trying to say. The thing is, you are terrible at interpersonal communication. You don't listen. Well, you only half-listen. You half-listen and then you react, which is great for reality tv, but it sucks in real life. And since you and Jacqueline were real life friends, it's really sad to see you two go at it. I'm glad you didn't flip the table on Caroline and Jacqueline and with the exception of the "friggin' jealousy" tirade, you actually weren't as off the chain as I thought you'd be. My advice to you is the same - learn how to communicate effectively, which includes listening. If you would have listened, you would have realized that Jacqueline was confused about how you were doing because of the magazines that YOU POSED FOR and GAVE INTERVIEWS TO. Then, she mentioned that you were upset with Melissa for talking to Danielle about you, and pointed out that you recently communicated with Danielle as well. And, it was a valid point. Why is it ok for you to contact Danielle? I'm not saying you did the same thing as Melissa. Far from it. But you should have focused on the real issue. You want things to get better, but until you take the time to see things from the other perspective, you're going to be constantly on the defensive. And that's not working out for you. Teresa's grade for the week: F (for not communicating effectively).

Melissa: I don't know what to believe, but if you really did conspire against Teresa with Danielle, I'm sure the proof is out there. I hope you are the level-headed person we see on the show, but I have a bad feeling that you're not totally innocent here. This show is getting uglier and uglier by the episode, so if you value the court of public opinion at all, you should lay the cards out on the table as soon as possible. Just tell the audience the truth and we'll respect you for it. Melissa's grade for the week: N/A (because I have too many doubts, but not enough proof).

Kathy: I understand why you're upset about the magazines, but Melissa was right to tell you to talk to Teresa personally. It is the best way to clear the air. And I think you can have a civil conversation with her (you did at the end of last season), but you just have to approach her in the right way. I know it sucks to have to worry about how she's going to react, but all this talking about the magazines is getting old. Get the answer straight from Teresa. And if she doesn't listen or if she isn't willing to talk, at least you tried. Kathy's grade for the week: C (because she needs to just talk to Teresa already).

This blog wasn't as brutal as I thought it was going to be. Maybe it's because I'm on my own path of trying to forgive others and myself for misunderstandings and mistakes from the past. But, I'm going to need these ladies to grow up - now.

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Pinot Filled Ass

This week's Real Housewives of New York was all over the place. I'm really not sure what to make of this season yet. But, I'm still watching and giving it a chance, because I'm loyal like that. Hopefully, I won't regret it. And, yes, I know being "loyal" to a tv show is sad. Please, don't judge me.

I'm jumping right in, so here goes.

Ramona: I think you know exactly what you're doing when you speak to Luann. Because you make sure to get every last bullet out before she ends the conversation. I wish I could do that. I really admire that about you. Not that it's great for Luann, but hey, she can handle it. I thought it was hilarious when you "apologized" because you were denying ever saying anything about Luann's kids. We really don't know. Unless Luann recorded the conversation and pulls a Jill Zarin and plays it for us. I'm thinking you did say something because your defense was that everyone knew what happened at Luann's son's birthday. I'm just curious as to what happened. But that's neither here nor there. The point is, you are clear on what your mission is this season - destroy Luann - and you're not wasting any time. I don't particularly like what you're doing this season, but I must say your tenacity is absolutely amazing. Oh, and I'm hoping you just had a brain fart when you couldn't remember what LGBT stood for. Ramona's grade for the week: D (because she is hell-bent on bringing Luann down, and while sometimes it's funny, it's definitely not right).

Luann: I can't root for you or be on your side because you're still a condescending hypocrite. With that said, I don't condone Ramona saying negative things about your kids. I think you're lining up the new cast members to be on your team for when the real drama starts, because, let's be real, you are that calculating. Regardless, you'll play the role of the "classy" Countess this season just like every other season. But every once in a while you pull out a zinger (clearly rehearsed and pre-meditated), such as "What other tricks are you going to pull out of your Pinot filled ass?" and I remember what Bethenny said so long ago: you have another side to you (maybe the side that slept with Aviva's ex?) and we only see what you put on for the camera. Thanks, but no thanks. Luann's grade for the week: D (because she's right to defend her kids, but she's still as fake as ever).

Sonja: I really don't think you were lounging around while they were calling you to the stage on this episode. Shout out to Manila Luzon and Sahara Davenport! Werk! Anywhoo, you were fun and flirty on this episode, but it was a little MUCH, if you ask me. I'm all for flirting, especially when it's with humor, but that scene with the contractor was cringey. And then you reference your assistant/intern's breasts??? Why??? I couldn't figure that out to save my life! Not cool! I like you, Sonja, but you're going to have to start focusing on making sense and not so much on getting some random guy to think you're hot. Sonja's grade this week: D (for appearing to be late to her speech - who knows how late she really was - and for being inappropriate with the contractor).

Aviva: I still like you a lot. The scene at the vintage shop was a lot of fun, and you looked great in that jumpsuit! But, I totally get what you're saying - it's not like you could wear it and get use out of it, so it might as well go to someone who will rock it more than once a year. I think you're right to be skeptical of Luann and the fact that she told you and Heather and Carole all about Ramona's alleged threats. Keep your eye on the ball, and the ball is anything that comes out of Luann's mouth. Also, about your ex, let's just assume he's slept with about 50% of everyone you know. Then, you won't be surprised when people blurt it out to your face. Awkward! I was kind of taken aback when you said you wouldn't be able to live without your husband, but the more I thought about it, I realized that's a great feeling to have. You obviously love him a lot and you wouldn't ever want to be without him - which is how it should be. Mazeltov. Aviva's grade for the week: A (because I truly think she's a great person, and she's making sense - for now).

Heather: I'm really sorry about your dad's passing. I thought the scene with your family celebrating his life was very sweet. However, I'm afraid your personality is not my cup of tea. That's really all I want to say for now, because I don't want to come off as harsh (this time). Heather's grade for the week: N/A (until I can properly pinpoint what it is I don't like about her).

Carole: The award for coolest Housewife goes to you. I mean, rockstar-sometimes-boyfriend, killer taste in  vintage clothing, and no qualms about going up to gorgeous men and helping them pick out sweaters for their model girlfriends. I mean, at this point, you can really do no wrong with me. Please don't screw it up! Carole's grade for the week: A (by far, my favorite. Call me biased if you want).

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Worst Reunion Show EVER

I was so disappointed with Part 2 of the Basketball Wives reunion. It was all about Kesha vs. Tami and Evelyn vs. Jennifer AGAIN. Instead of really focusing on the other conflicts/storylines, they merely mentioned them and promptly circled back to old territory that was already covered in Part 1. I am really disappointed in Shaunie for allowing this. It was like a huge commercial begging the audience to watch Season 5. Which brings me to Shaunie's terrible acting at the end of the show, pretending there was any doubt that the show would be back next season. She tried to turn it into this suspenseful moment, when in reality, we all KNEW there would be a Season 5. That's all she's been saying since Season 4 started airing - that NEXT season would be better! Ugh. I am so over this show. I can't believe Basketball Wives' producers thought that this waste of time show would pass as a reunion. I won't even grade the ladies because I believe there was a lot we didn't see. So, I'll just list the things that were WRONG with this reunion:

1. Where does Tami and Royce's friendship stand? That was a MAJOR plot point and we NEED a resolution on that. The fact that Royce is rumored to be fired from the show is irrelevant. I want to know what really went on behind the scenes and whether or not they were able to repair their friendship. (I do want to thank VH1 for showing Royce in the play. She did great from the clips we saw. Congrats, Royce, and if you're not on the show anymore, consider yourself lucky. This is a sinking ship.)

2. John Salley is the worst host ever. We know what polygraph means, thank you very much. You snide, condescending jerk.

3. That stupid lie detector test fiasco was SO unnecessary. I'm all for hugging it out, but the whole thing just looked so awkward and staged. I'm not saying Evelyn and Jennifer weren't genuine - they both looked sincere about what they were feeling, and the hug looked real - but the setup was way too 90's daytime talk show for me. Oy vey.

4. Tami essentially taking back her apology to Kesha. Ugh!!! Tami! It was great when you apologized in Part 1 and then you had to ruin it by giving us some cockamamie explanation for why you were a bully to Kesha in Tahiti. And yes, you WERE a bully. You intimidated her, you called her names, and you threatened her. I don't know what else you would call that. And besides that, the whole purse thing was wrong, wrong, wrong. How you could even sit there and defend that is beyond me. I'm pretty much over you. I really liked you - I was Team Tami. But I can't be on someone's team that still can't admit when they were wrong. You apologized and it was all good, but when it came right down to it, you really only apologized for your "delivery". But you have so much more to take responsibility for! And then, you go back to being defensive! It doesn't make any sense. I'm really disappointed that you didn't own up to everything that happened in Tahiti. If you had, you would have been the comeback kid. This sucks.

5. VH1 really messed up with the format of the show. I wish they would take some lessons from Bravo and Andy Cohen and go DEEP into MOST of the plot points. Not beat a dead horse with some subjects, and gloss over others. At least SOME of the questions need to come from the viewers. We didn't get the kinds of answers we needed at all. It seemed like it was all shaped and molded to fit what the producers want - which is to get us to watch next season. And they need to give everyone equal time. If some cast members aren't going to speak, why have them there???

6. Which brings me to Suzie. You said a total of 2 sentences (I'm guessing) in Part 2. Why were you there? And then you had to lie on top of it all? The one time you speak, you use your time on the show to lie? In the Tahiti episodes, it's CLEAR that you were the one that told Tami what Kesha said because Tami CLEARLY says, 'Don't feel bad for telling me, Suzie' (paraphrasing). I mean, what is your deal? At least you have braces now, which is the only improvement I see in you. Because, frankly, you need to be worrying about the status of your inner beauty, not your appearance.

I'm really disgusted by this show, and I don't think I'll watch next season. It's sad, but true. And to be honest, I probably won't watch Evelyn's spinoff either. I'm feeling like this whole franchise is going downhill fast. I mean, if this season brought boycotts, I'm sure next season will, too. And if Shaunie keeps her promises about no physical altercations, some of the audience who enjoys that type of reality tv won't tune in. Either way, a big portion of the audience will go elsewhere. I, personally, don't think the show is being led in the right direction. And I certainly won't be watching the LA installment. So there you have it. Agree? Disagree? Tweet me!

Ridiculosity

This week's Real Housewives of New Jersey was basically a diagram of opposites. Beautiful wedding vs. selling stories to magazines for money. Love and happiness vs. looking like you want to tear someone's throat out. I'm not going to lie. Travelling with people you don't like sucks. Hard. I know first hand. But, sometimes you do have to just grit your teeth and get through the whole thing, especially if a celebration is taking place. The wedding was gorgeous and very emotional - and I liked that everyone was truly happy for Jaime and Rich. I love that we had that moment of all-around positivity, however brief. Oh, and Joe Gorga's impression of Joe Giudice made me laugh out loud!

But the show isn't all love and light (shout out to Danielle Staub - remember her?), so let's get into the cattiness, bitchiness, and sheer ridiculosity of this episode.

Teresa: I'm going make this short. I think it's wrong that you let a magazine write whatever they want around an interview with you and in essence, let the magazine misrepresent you in exchange for money. I think it's wrong that you won't even consider the idea of therapy. I think it's not such a great idea to listen to Joe Giudice about not going to therapy - because he probably knows that if you do go to therapy, you'll become a much more self-aware person and maybe not put up with as much bullsh*t from him. Just saying. I also think it was in poor taste to announce your book being on the best seller's list and then thank a bunch of people that you said some not so great things about in the book for their "support". I'll reserve the rest of my thoughts until I see your complete meltdown next week. And it's not going to be nice. So, get ready. Teresa's grade for the week: N/A (no grade needed because I want to wait until next week so I can really let loose).

Caroline: When people criticize you for being holier-than-thou and superior, I see where they're coming from. Let's be real. You looked like you wanted to jump out of that bus anytime Teresa and Joe Giudice spoke. Not that I blame you. But, I think you could definitely not let people get under your skin as much. If I were you, I would have paid for a separate car to take to the wedding. And who cares what anyone would have thought of it? You're the groom's sister and you want to take your own car, so what?! And by the way, where was Al? I though it was odd that your husband wasn't at the wedding. Did I miss something? Anyway, I think you gave way too much thought and energy to the tabloid article that came out about Teresa that day. At this point, you shouldn't even read them or be surprised by them. You know what it is. Your speech was very nice, but I would have picked something completely different for you to wear. Not that it matters. I'm just saying. The previews for next week are crazy, and I'm not sure how I feel about you crashing Jacqueline and Teresa's conversation. We'll see how that plays out. Caroline's grade for the week: D+ (because I liked her speech but she was WAY too grumpy for my taste).

Melissa: I didn't think you said anything out of line this week. You've been surprisingly calm throughout this whole Teresa-tabloid-mess. I say you're smart to play it cool. Others see it differently, but we can all agree to disagree. I don't know anything about you all except what I see on the show and what I occasionally read online, and I base my opinions on that. On the show, you're alright with me. I don't know if I like the new song, but I'm willing to listen to the finished product and give it a whirl. Melissa's grade this week: B (for not blowing up about the article and playing it cool).

Jacqueline: The fence is getting narrower and narrower and next week, we'll finally see you jump off of it. I've been waiting all season for this. Not that I'm happy about your friendship with Teresa ending, but it really is the turning point and it'll answer a lot of our questions. In this episode, you're still teetering on top of the fence. I think you're right to question Teresa's character. She's told you she gets money for being on the magazines, and she's told you she doesn't want to go to therapy - two things that are directly related to the problem not getting resolved. Then she tells you she doesn't hold grudges (which we all know she does). All of it is like white noise now. And I don't blame you for being frustrated. I thought you tried to help her see that therapy is a viable solution to her problem, which she promptly dismissed. If I were you, that would have been my breaking point. I would have had Buddha as my witness that I was done talking about this and that I couldn't take this bullsh*t anymore. I think we all need to watch what happens next week to see the actual fault lines open up between you and Teresa once and for all. Other than that, I thought you were on that fence long enough, and it's about time you picked a side. It really didn't matter to me which one you chose. I was just tired of seeing you trying to please everyone, meanwhile, you're completely exhausted. Jacqueline's grade for the week: C- (because she was still trying to get through to Teresa while having all of these doubts, and it's time to just put her cards on the table).

Kathy: You were having a blast at that pool party! I love seeing all of you have a good time. And Rosie was hilarious, as always. I can see how hurt you are about the articles, and how much you wish things were different. But we can all see that you are capable of honest communication. I love that Richie was helping Joe Gorga reach out to Teresa again. That was great. I really don't think anyone can knock you or Richie this season. You've done a lot to try to help the situation, but those tabloids are just making things worse. And you're right, those articles are trash. Now, I totally understand why you don't actively seek Teresa out because every time you do, it's a problem. And you don't need that kind of aggravation. Kathy's grade for the week: A (because what she said about the articles is absolutely 100% right on).

What did you think of the episode? Tweet me!

Overboard

I haven't been blogging about Real Housewives of Orange County lately, because it's either been super boring or super exhausting. But, I figured this week was just juicy enough for me to blog about it and address the entire storyline of the Costa Rica trip in one shot. I couldn't make myself sit and write about Alexis' whining for three weeks in a row. Oy vey. So let's get going!

Alexis: I know it's not easy to have people confront you. And it doesn't help when there's alcohol involved and the main culprit is someone you already had words with not too long ago (Tamra). However, I think you missed the point. (Shocking!) Tamra was basically asking you to be yourself around the group and drop all the pretense. Which is not a mean thing to say. It's actually quite nice - she wants you to be the real you. And I think Gretchen heard that. So, for you to automatically get defensive, while understandable because of Tamra's delivery, didn't do you any good. I think if you would have stopped and thought about it and maybe taken a minute to yourself to absorb what they were saying, you would have realized it wasn't exactly an attack, but a simple plea to get to know the real you. It really wasn't about what kind of bag you brought or your nose job. It's about the way you project yourself to other people. Something about you is coming across as phony, but that may not be who you really are. I think you need to value a friend like Gretchen who was trying to be real with you, not be mad at her for not agreeing with everything you say. I don't think the vacation was worth all the trouble and you probably should have just stayed home. I hope you can do some self-reflection so you don't lose another friend (Gretchen), but I'm afraid you already have. And be careful with Vicki - she likes you today, but it's not guaranteed she'll like you tomorrow. I did like that you stood up to Tamra, though. I think when you spoke up for yourself we got a glimpse of the real you. You just need to harness that spunk and sass and use it to your advantage. Alexis' grade for the week: C (because now I just feel sorry for her).

Gretchen: I think you did your best with Alexis but you knew she wasn't going to take your comments the right way. For her, if you're not totally 100% defending her, you're not a good friend. That's probably why Peggy had enough. I don't want your friendship with Alexis to end the same way, but if Alexis can't be more self-aware, I'm not sure how you're going to avoid that happening. Other than the Alexis fiasco, you had fun on the beach with the girls. Maybe a little too much fun. Is it me, or is the whole undressing each other and bumping booties thing kind of 10 years ago for you? I mean, let's be real, you're not in college anymore and just because there's champagne ... you know what, nevermind. But you know what I'm saying. It wasn't as funny as you and Tamra may have thought at the time. The rafting trip looked like a real adventure and I like that you were in it and took it on like a champ. Gretchen's grade for the week: B (for being a trooper).

Vicki: There's times I wanna hug you and other times I wanna smack you. I think you need professional help for all the mood swings and irrational behavior you're throwing around. I mean, you stayed quiet during Alexis' little intervention, and you were nice to her in her room, in your own way I guess, but the rest of the episode you were up and down. The thing with the trees? And talking about dying? And the Don conversation? All of it just adds up to you not being ok emotionally. And believe it or not, I don't like to see you sad or hurting. So, really, I want you to get some help. Also, don't be in a relationship right now. I don't think that's helping (no matter who it is). You have to get to a place where you're happy by yourself before you be happy with anyone else. I just don't think you're there. Vicki's grade for the week: D (because she has some major issues to work out).

Tamra: You were a little annoying this week, I'm not gonna lie. The whole pants-ing thing was just sad. I can't believe a couple sips of champagne make you spiral into Girls Gone Wild territory. I say, cool it with the booze, maybe? Anyway, the tension between you and Vicki is pretty bad, and I think you should focus on that instead of beating Alexis down with an intervention. I mean, you didn't say anything that wasn't true, but your delivery sucked. Big time. And it didn't really improve the situation. You're lucky Gretchen and Heather softened the blow a little. Your friendship with Vicki is really important to both of you, so I hope that's a priority. She needs a good friend right now. Tamra's grade for the week: D (because she could have said what she needed to say in a much less hurtful way).

Heather: I thought you did great this week. You were really gentle and kind with Alexis, which I appreciated. Even your tone of voice was gentle, and that said a lot to me. You weren't attacking, you were trying to communicate with her. She wasn't really receptive to it, but you tried. I would have been just as annoyed as you were with Gretchen and Tamra's beach antics, so we're on the same page there. You went on the raft and did your best, and I think you did a great job with it. You even looked like you were having fun. Heather's grade for the week: A (because she handled everything with a calm, cool demeanor and I like that).

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A Whole New World

I am going to make this blog quick, because I am short on time, so please don't be mad at me. I have to say, I don't even know if I'm going to continue to watch Real Housewives of New York this season, much less blog about it. It really is a whole new show - right down to the opening credits. In some ways, it's great. The beginning is really cool and modern, but I'm afraid the new cast members won't be enough to make me love the show again. I really miss the days of RHONY seasons 1 and 2. But it's a different world now and many moons have come and gone since then. So let's get started.

I have to talk about the newbies first:

Heather: You come off as a strange duck, first of all. I really don't understand why certain things come out of your mouth. I'm put off by you and your know-it-all attitude. I think you're up Luann's ass already and frankly, that turns me off. I think you do interrupt and railroad over people. And honey, if you're mad at Ramona now, when she's actually sort of sane, get ready, because you haven't seen Crazy Ramona yet. You're not for this show. I do like that you're a business woman, though. Heather's grade for the week: D (because she rubbed me the wrong way and I'm already over her attitude).

Carole: I love you. I think you're going to be the sane(r) one on the show this season. I love that you've been through so much and now you're on this whole new journey. You remind me of my sister in a way, because she also isn't very fond of hearing mother-talk all the time. Now that I think about it, neither am I. But, I totally related to you not wanting to be a part of the mommy group because you're not a mom and that's ok. I really like you and I think you have a great attitude. Carole's grade for the week: A (because she's cool).

Aviva: I really like you, too, but I can see how the drama is going to pull you in later on in the season. I'm a little bit on the fence with you, still. I love that you're so open about your prosthetic leg and you have no problem discussing it. It's great. And you seem to be a really fun person. However, I would drop the whole "this person slept with my ex" thing with Luann and Sonja. We really don't care and neither should you. I think you could be great on this show, I'm just wondering what sparks the drama between you and Ramona and Sonja later on in the season. Aviva's grade for the week: B (because there's something off about her but I just can't pinpoint it yet).

Now for the veterans:

Luann: I'm not even going to get into how ignorant you sounded when you said Aviva is so graceful and elegant, you would never know she was disabled. Or something to that effect. You know what? I am going to get into it. You, Miss Manners, should know that disabled people are perfectly capable of being elegant, graceful, beautiful, charming, sophisticated, and any other bougie words you want to throw out there. Secondly, Ramona told you she didn't want to talk to you at Sonja's house and you stood there and argued with her anyway. OMG. You really haven't learned anything. Then, you're all offended about the texts Ramona allegedly sent you about your kids. I agree the kids are off limits, but there is no reason to bring this stuff up to the new cast members except to get them on your side against Ramona. You basically poisoned the well. So, congratulations. I'm sure you graduated from the school of Jill Zarin for alienating fans and making yourself the most hated housewife this season. At least in my book. I have nothing else to say. I don't even know if I can watch this show if you keep up this idiocy. Luann's grade for the week: F (because she hasn't learned anything from the disaster that was last season and I just can't wrap my head around why she wouldn't at least try to improve her behavior this season. Maybe because she feels she doesn't have to. Which is just sad).

Ramona: Now, I like you, but I'm not letting you off the hook this season. You do drink too much. You do talk over people and you are butting heads with Heather because you're too much alike. But, I still love you. It's just that you're going to have to learn from last season, too. You should have never talked about Luann's kids. That was not acceptable. If you did do it, because really, we just have to take Luann's word for it. Please, turn it around this season and show us you can get along with everyone. I don't expect you to be everyone's best friend, but don't cross any more lines. Luann is just waiting for you to slip up so she can shout it from the rooftops. Ramona's grade for the week: D (because the texts about Luann were out of line and she's already in a couple of feuds on the show - it's just too soon for all that).

Sonja: You may be the glue that holds this show together. And I'm happy that you're back. I would have been tempted to not even watch the show if you weren't on it this season. I'm hoping you can be the voice of reason and get these ladies to coexist without it turning into a complete mess like last season. You have to keep Luann and Ramona in check and also let the new cast members get comfortable. If this season is anything like last season, it's going to be really ugly, and none of us real fans want that. It's a lot of pressure for you, but I think you can handle it. You've got that charm that we love so much. I will say I did feel Ramona was too hard on you about calling your ex your "husband", and I really do think it was out of habit. I didn't read anything more into it. And you decide who you date. Don't let Ramona push you into anything. Sonja's grade for the week: A (because I think she'll be the one to keep the peace for the most part, and right now, she's the most likable of the veterans).

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Speechless

There were a lot of great family dynamics on the Real Housewives of New Jersey this week, but of course, a certain someone and her idiot husband had to ruin it for everyone. Sorry if that makes me "biased", but I'm sorry. You couldn't PAY me to be on a bus with Joe and Teresa Giudice for an hour. Never in a million years. Lucky for me, that'll never happen. But let's get back into the episode. This week, we saw Rosie have a wonderful moment with her niece and nephew, the Giudice kids were hilarious as always, and Caroline's brother Jaime prepares for his wedding. Get caught up here.

Jacqueline: I can see you inching farther and farther away from Teresa in every episode. It's painful to watch, really. But, I'm just waiting to see what finally snaps between you two. As for the Ashley situation, I'm not surprised she didn't come through on her promises while staying with her dad. It's sad. I just hope she's grown up by now. If not, I can't imagine how exhausted you must be over this situation. Jacqueline's grade for the week: C (because she's hanging back and observing still, and I'm waiting for her to finally erupt).

Melissa: I loved that you supported Joe Gorga in asking Teresa to go to therapy. I'm not privy to your intentions or motivations for doing so, but I thought it was a nice gesture. You and Joe Gorga seemed to have a blast at Kathy and Richie's beach house. And for this occasion, your outfit was perfect. I thought you were a lot of fun on this episode. I do think your "acting" needs work (haunted house? horror movie? Um, no). Melissa's grade for the week: A (because she was having a great time and not causing problems).

Caroline: You should just get a tattoo on your forehead that says "OVER IT". Because you are. I'm starting to think this show isn't for you anymore. You can barely contain your feelings for Teresa and Joe Giudice. Not that I blame you. I had a migraine after watching those bus scenes. So, believe me, I get it. I do have to give you credit for not blurting out anything hurtful, but you're going to hit your limit soon, I can tell. And when you do, it's not going to be pretty. Now, for the whole Dina mess - I really don't understand it. Teresa and Dina are friends and so Dina's taking Teresa's side against you and doesn't want to be around you. Odd. Something doesn't add up. Hopefully we'll get clarification as the season moves on. Caroline's grade for the week: C (because she's barely holding it together at this point).

Kathy: You definitely are the hostess with the mostest. Your parties are now the stuff of Housewives legend. All I'll say is, Rosie got more than she bargained for with your friend. I love me some Rosie. The talk she had with your kids was very emotional, as was your interview about her coming out. I think it's great your kids love their aunt for who she is - and everything else is secondary to that. I love your family. Kathy's grade for the week: A (because she's a real sweetheart, and I like that).

Teresa: Please tell me you go to therapy with your brother. Here, let me suggest a few topics for your therapy sessions. (1. Communication skills. (2. Sensitivity training. (3. Forgiveness. I could go on and on and on. But seriously, let's cut to the chase. You were making an effort to be friendly with Caroline on the bus - awesome! I mean it! I loved that. Unfortunately, she wasn't having it. Not your problem, though. You tried. I loved that you were so nice and friendly with Caroline's brother Jaime. I could see that he was genuinely happy to see you - great! You're doing good so far! It started to fall apart when - you guessed it - Joe Giudice got into the mix. His comment to Gregg was not only insensitive and insulting, it was completely inappropriate. There is no excuse for that kind of "joke". The look on Gregg's face said it all. It wasn't funny, and you were laughing your head off. I don't care if it was a nervous laugh or whatever. You could have heard a pin drop on that bus - that's how not funny that joke was. But let me guess, Joe was kidding, Gregg shouldn't have taken it personally, blah blah blah. Whatever. I hate to say this - but as a wife, I think it's your responsibility to either tell Joe he's being inappropriate or just DON'T BRING HIM AROUND THIS GROUP ANYMORE. The previews of his behavior for next week already have me with knots in my stomach. Teresa's grade for the week: C (because she was really trying to get along with everyone, but she lets Joe ruin everything).

On a side note, Jaime, can you design my dream house and my dream wedding??? I can't wait to see the wedding next week, and congratulations on everything!!!

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Waste of Time

Part 1 of the Basketball Wives Reunion was very disappointing, although there were some good moments. Overall, though, it was a big waste of time. Seriously, I was able to get through the entire thing in less than 30 minutes without the commercials, the recap clips, and the stuff I've already seen on VH1.com. There really wasn't anything new or exciting in this part of the reunion, and unfortunately, it looks like Part 2 is going to be a dud as well. The preview didn't really do anything for me. And! Let's just state facts: Only Shaunie, Tami, Evelyn, and Jennifer said more than a few sentences the whole show! This is not the kind of reunion we need! And please get John Salley out of the host's chair. He's not funny and he's not at all charming. I can't stand the way he asks the questions - almost as if he's above the show. (If you're not into the show or don't enjoy it, then don't host the damn reunion!!!) They need to get a real host in there, maybe a female (preferable a comedienne) who can at least relate to each of the ladies. You know what I suggested to Shaunie in my last blog - she shouldn't be on the show anymore and just take over hosting the reunions. But that's just me. And the way they edited the show was really choppy in parts. No bueno, VH1.

So let's address the ladies (the ones who actually spoke):

Kesha: I'm going to commend you on standing your ground about your problems with Tami. I wish we could have heard you speak more. Maybe in Part 2? Kesha's grade for the week: A (based on the little bit that she was allowed to say).

Kenya: I still don't like you. I did appreciate when you said that anyone can achieve their dream no matter how old they are. However, I'm still not convinced you're being real with us (the audience). There is something very artificial about you, and it makes everything you say sound fake. Kenya's grade for the week: C (because she's still acting).

Royce: You barely spoke!!! Please, tell me you let loose on Part 2!!! Royce's grade for the week: N/A (Stupid John Salley just kept telling her not to cry!!! Lame joke, John!!!)

Shaunie: I think your speech about doing better next season was very nice. But that's all it was. You made it sound like things got out of control this season, like the first three seasons of the show weren't at all violent. They were! I'm happy you want to make a change to the show now, but in reality, this change should have come after season 2 when Tami and Evelyn got physical. But, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you when you say you're committed to making this a more positive show. All I ask is that you not be a cast member anymore. That's the last time I'm going to say it. Shaunie's grade for the week: C (because time will tell if her promises are kept or not).

Tami: I really appreciated you apologizing for the way you treated Kesha and for promoting therapy and anger management. I think most people have anger problems and unresolved issues that they need professional help with - they may just not know what to do about them. So, you coming out and saying that therapy and anger management is working for you is a major thing. I truly wish you the best on your journey and I hope that we see the sweet, funny, kind Tami that we know and love next season. Show us you're over the fighting. Can't wait to see if you and Royce patch things up in Part 2. Also, kudos to you for telling Jennifer where to go. The way you spelled it out for her was perfect. Hopefully, she was listening to you. Tami's grade for the week: A (because she owned her mistakes and called it like she sees it).

Suzie: Thank you for not speaking. Suzie's grade for the week: N/A (as it should be).

Evelyn: We've now heard the reasons why you're upset with Jennifer for the 80th time. I think we get it by now. Please don't tell the story anymore. I don't even want you two to be friends after this is all over. I want you to get married and MOVE ON. Anyway, I liked that you got emotional and apologized for the bottle throwing incident. I love that you said it wasn't funny and that you regret doing that. This is what we want to see from you - remorse and recognition for the shady and inappropriate things you've done. And make sure you're not up to the same antics next season. The way you spoke to Jennifer was good, too. You were calm and didn't get out of line that I could see. The lie detector test was a bit much, though. Kind of bordering on ridiculous. Evelyn's grade for the week: B (for taking responsibility for her actions, but a lot of her segments were repetitive as hell. We'd heard all this before.)

Jennifer: Why you had to be sequestered and brought out by security like you're Jackie O is beyond me. You're ego needs a seat of its own in Part 2. You really don't do anything but make excuses for everything you said and did on this season. And you didn't address the fact that you continued to be on the show, so you must not have really feared for your life and/or safety. The questions you were asked were valid questions, but it seemed like you were annoyed to be asked anything. That's what a reunion is for! If you really didn't want to be there, you should have stayed home. Please, do not come back next season. This is no longer your show. Jennifer's grade for the week: D (for acting like she was annoyed by the questions and like she didn't want to be there).

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