RHOM Reunion Part 1 - Reunions are a Team Sport

First, I think I need to reiterate that I can only comment on what I see and hear on the show. I don't personally know any of these ladies, although if any of them want to hang out, HOLLA!!! Anyway, I have to call these shows as I see them and I sincerely try to be as objective and fair as possible. However, there are some personalities that are more pleasing to me than others, I'm only human. Also, there's a whole lot of editing and chopping up scenes over at Bravo. So, I'm not going to fault anyone for apparently speaking out of turn, because for all we know, Andy gave that person the floor and they weren't interrupting anyone.

Now that we got that out of the way, RHOM's Reunion started off with a bang, a clang, and a whammy! These ladies are not playing around, y'all! And as much as it entertains me, and you of course, I think it's safe to say that we don't think it's ok to scream and yell at other women in real life. But this is a Bravo Housewives Reunion (AKA An Alternate Universe Where Screaming and Yelling are Acceptable Forms of Communication), so I'm all in and not afraid to admit that I love this shit. If only every reunion were like this. I love that these ladies brought it - cleavage, diamonds, curse words, and lots of insults. Again, I don't condone this type of drama in real life ... it's entertainment, kids!

It's important to note that the couches were clearly set up for the two teams: Ana, Marysol, and Adriana vs. Joanna, Lisa, Karent, and Lea. Later, Alexia will join the former.

And let me just remind everyone, I am the child of a hot tempered Latina mother. Maybe that's why I have a soft spot for some of these ladies. The Latin Fire burns within me so I'm not the least bit phased by the fast talking, loud voices, hand gestures, and everything that comes along with a Latin Woman who is pissed off. That's essentially my birthright. And I'm damn proud of it. 

With all that in mind, let's hand out some calificaciones!

Ana: You had your sights set on Lea and you came out swinging. I have to give you a little bit of credit for having all that ammunition ready to go right off the bat, but damn! Geritol in the Lea Kool Aid? Harsh! But, if you honestly feel that you're unmasking the Lea that you know, then hey, go for it. You definitely had some facts to throw out there to make your argument. I don't know if selling cold cream out of a car in Texas is a crime, though. And it didn't really prove anything, except that Lea potentially worked really hard for herself in the past? Then you threw in the whole "on her back" comment, which even by my standards was a low blow. She very well may have taken advantage of rich men but it was such an explosive statement, I'm wondering if you should have just kept that to yourself. Maybe you should have just explained that Lea is not the person she claims to be and left it at that. I do have to commend you for telling the ladies to stop throwing the word "bully" around. You're absolutely right, there is no bullying between grown ass women who can all defend themselves. Thank you for saying that. And when you said Rodolfo is a simpleton and the Miami version of Slade, I almost died laughing. Hilarious. Ana's grade for the week: C (although I love the fire she was bringing, she did a little too much on this part of the reunion for me. She should have built up to exposing Lea, not jumping into it so quickly).

Marysol: THANK YOU for finally telling Lea how her comments have affected you. This is what we needed all season. You finally let it out instead of trying to be polite about it. Sometimes you have to just come out and say it, no matter how it comes across. I think during the season, you were be cautious and it came across as you not responding to the allegations Lea was directing towards you. I wanted to see you defend yourself on the reunion and you did that. You came out and said that you need to protect your business and that's why you didn't want to keep talking about the gala, which makes perfect sense. It's in the past, after all. And you and Lea will never agree as to what happened, so I don't think it should ever be brought up again. Also, you referenced your marriage briefly before getting cut off and we all saw Lea make her jokes about it, which I never liked. Hopefully, you will let her know in part 2 that her comments about your marriage were not ok. Even though I commented on it in my last blog, I was referencing the fact that on the couch, Phillipe was saying that divorce was the best choice (and he said it more than once), that's why I wanted you to get the divorce and move on. Regarding Adriana, I was glad you stuck by her even though she is friendly with Lea. You said she was funny and intelligent, and I agree with you. Marysol's grade for the week: B (I was so happy she spoke up and got all of that off her chest, because bottling it up was not working).

Adriana: I still think you are hilarious, and I don't care what anyone says. I've already explained why you getting so hype doesn't really upset me. I do think it's funny (but then again, that says more about me than it does about you). Let's just say you let Joanna/Hoanna have it. And with good reason! It's not like she's backing down from you at all. I would say, though,  in light of the fact that you're a mother, you should probably not waste your time on going back and forth with her anymore. You've said what you needed to say. You called her out for starting the fight at the lingerie party and for the "slums of Rio" comment. You apologized for the Polish comment - and explained that you were essentially paraphrasing what Joe Francis had said earlier that night. All in all, you put it all out on the table with the one person who you were in a constant battle with all season. So, I can't be mad at that. And I need a "Beat Me to the Tweet" shirt in my life. Just saying. I gotta address you basically staying out of the Lea fight and letting us know that because Lea helped you many moons ago, you're not going to cross her. At least you were up front about it. Adriana's grade for the week: B (she was straightforward and said what she came there to say and I loved it, yes, she was mean to Joanna but ... I'm not worried about Joanna at all).

Joanna: Well, here's where people may bust me for being biased. I just don't like you. Even when you're being halfway sincere, it's just ... annoying. But, that doesn't mean I can't give you credit for not backing down. Just like I told Adriana, you got it all out in the open and you said what you wanted to say. I'm actually ok with that. I think it's great that you recognize the need to cut back on the drinking, especially in social situations with people you don't like. I think that's a universally wonderful idea. Everyone should take that one to heart. I think you should have accepted Adriana's apologies for the Polish comment, seeing as how you essentially said the same thing about the slums of Rio. But, instead, you said Romain was the one that said it first, then added that the slums are too good for Adriana. Come on. Along with the shade there has to be some light. It's called balance. And you missed a great opportunity to accept Adriana's apology and also apologize for what you said. But with you, it seems to be all or nothing. I just don't like that. Joanna's grade for the week: D (she was dishing it out, but I need her to give me some real moments of self-awareness, and she didn't give me anything but anger).

Lisa: I was kind of shocked that you defended yourself very well when Joanna started to go in on you. I loved that you were honest about how you felt about Lea - good and bad. Even though you didn't have a huge role on this part of the reunion, you held your own. Lisa's grade for the week: A (So far, so good - can't wait to see if she'll have more to say on part 2).

Karent: Good for you for standing up for yourself, however, I don't think you understood why the girls disliked you so much in the beginning. You were trying way too hard and it was obnoxious. By the time the season was over, you had pretty much dropped the act, but by then, the damage was done. So, I'm just saying, you can't be surprised that these girls still don't like you. I'm glad you're done with Rodolfo and I'm very very happy that you're dad is doing better. Karent's grade for the week: B (she's doing her best to stay positive even though she still gets static from half the cast).

Lea: First of all, you gotta stop jumping up like a well dressed Jack in the Box toy every time someone says something you don't like. That's number one. Even Andy had to tell you to have a seat. Beyond that, you defended yourself. You do take a lot of pot shots at the ladies, so you knew you were going to have to answer for them now. I think you prepared for this reunion a lot - and maybe had some help with certain lines, because you did sound a little rehearsed at times. The whole 'mean is not the new relevant' line landed like a stone ... sorry. I'm glad you were able to address the fact that you had digs for the ladies all season long. You pretty much laughed it off and said everyone else should, too, and we're just gonna have to agree to disagree on that. I think you should probably sacrifice telling your "jokes" to maybe spare people's feelings once in a while. Let's talk about Ana. I don't know why she's so mad at you but gurl, she was gunning for you the whole time, and your reactions didn't help. If you really wanted to make an impact you should have calmed down and stated your case - while seated - and you definitely shouldn't have shown her that she got to you. Your reactions were so funny, though, seriously. Over the top and dramatic but funny. However, Ana is not the reason why you and Marysol will not see eye to eye. You couldn't see eye to eye last season either. Lea's grade for the week: D (she defended herself but she was overreacting so much that it made me think Ana may have been hitting a little too close to home).

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Shahs of Sunset - Too Mean?

This episode of Shahs of Sunset made me a little sad, actually. I can't say I don't understand where each cast member is coming from - but it's kind of becoming a bit mean for my taste. Don't get me wrong, I love shade and cattiness, but there's something about real friends (not just people thrown together for a reality show) fighting that makes me sad. It's kind of Jill/Bethenny all over again, except this time it's Reza/MJ and I'm not sure who is who in this scenario.

But can I just express my love for Tehran, the half black, half Persian prince in this episode? I freaking love him!!! And Sammy makes an appearance, if only to defend MJ for a moment, which really didn't bother me at all and didn't make much of an impression on Reza, apparently.

So let's get to the grades and hopefully next week we'll get some resolutions for these friendships.

Lilly: I know you were not the one to start the drama with MJ, but you do have the upper hand in this situation. You are skinnier, prettier, younger, and you have Reza. Did you really have to chop MJ down in front of everyone by saying she shouldn't have worn that dress? Yes, it was too small. We can all see that. But you had already won before MJ even walked into the room. It's so obvious that she is jealous of you - the best thing for you to do when she said you should have worn the dress your sister was wearing is say "I like that dress, too!" and keep it moving. But, I can understand why you had enough and it's not like you said anything too cutthroat. It was not nice, though. And then, in Reza's office, you went IN, sweetheart!! I know, I know you were just joking but damn. I would never want to be on your bad side. You kept up with Reza in the shit talking department, and that's not an easy thing to do. You are right about one thing, if you can dish it out, you better take it. And I think you can, which is the only reason I'm not mad at you for all this. Lilly's grade for the week: C (she slammed MJ pretty hard, but she didn't start all this).

MJ: I feel bad for you - but only to a certain point. I think you hit below the belt just as much as Reza did in last week's episode. You know that you can be hurtful, just like he can be, so why not contact him after you had calmed down? Was moving out of your office truly necessary? I think you needed and wanted an excuse to abandon the office and this was the perfect time to do it. I don't think calling Mike dumb is going to be good for you down the road, especially with him being cool with you after the fight. And you have to remember, everyone is different in business. Mike may be great at residential, you don't know what he may have that you don't have. And that desk. That poor desk. Gurl ... I just ... I can't. It was such a crystal clear metaphor for you on this show right now. A mess. Now, at the party, you really didn't need to go up to Lilly and comment on her or her sister's dress. I don't think you were purposely trying to say anything too fucked up, but you wanted to give her a little dig. And you ended up getting more than a dig back. It was a friggin' gouge. But you opened the door for all of this when you met Lilly. Maybe you should have been nicer? MJ's grade for the week: D (I can't with her right now).

GG: Oh my God. You are out of your mind. I hope when you watched this episode you booked a year's worth of therapy and found your local AA chapter. Because this shit was cray. That's all I can say. GG's grade for the week: F (GET HELP!)

Mike: I laughed so hard when you brought punching bags with you to GG's house. I bet you needed to punch something by the time your conversation with her was over. Jeez Louise! The scene with your family was pretty rough - but I honestly think you can succeed at anything you put your mind to. Your dad has a point, don't forget everything you learned doing commercial real estate. But, I'm sure there's a way for you to eventually take residential and commercial jobs. That would really be the ideal. I think you can prove all the naysayers wrong, just stay focused. Mike's grade for the week: A (he really tried with GG and he has a lot to prove to his family but I think he can do it).

Reza: My dear, sweet Reza ... you're getting into dangerous territory this week. I don't mind you venting about MJ but what you did at the party was especially dick-ish. And I like you! I do think you're funny, but damn, you knew MJ was listening for her name in that toast. I just feel like the vindictive look is not a good one for you. At least you admitted that you were being mean on purpose. You wanted to teach her a lesson because she hurt you. I get it. But the only way you're really going to resolve it is to sit down and calmly talk things out. Just going back for more and more digs is not the way to go if you ever want to be friends again. If not, then hey, do you need to kick the girl when she's down? Probably not. I would be really hurt if my best friend sided with someone who said those things about me but I'd have to have a conversation with them alone - I wouldn't be able to hold that in for very long. I'd have to confront it with tears and emotions and all that fun best friend stuff. I'm just saying, the whole "teach her a lesson" thing is just masking the hurt, it's not curing it. Maybe some mediation would be good, a joint therapy session. Reza's grade for the week: C (I get where he's coming from, but it's gonna get old real fast if he doesn't take steps to resolve it).

Asa: Well, we finally got to meet your love, Jermaine Jackson, Jr. which is a huge deal, so thank you for sharing that with us. I think it's terrible that you experience such hatred because of your interracial relationship, but sadly, that mentality is still alive and strong in some people. It really is sad. But I wish you and your love the best because you two are DEFINITELY into each other. But, can I just tell you, the "daddy" thing ... maybe not so much? It's a little creepy! I loved the segment with your mom driving, that was hilarious. And I'm so sorry the fashion week gig didn't work out. Are you at liberty to say why? We want to know! At the party you gave your two cents which I didn't have a problem with. I think at some point you need to resolve your issues with MJ and GG, just make sure there's no alcohol present. Asa's grade for the week: B (I'm glad she introduced us to her man, but I want to know what's going to happen with her career).

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RHOA - How to Lose a Guy in 1 Vacation

Well, my lovelies, we're back with Real Housewives of Atlanta, still in the beautiful island paradise that is Anguilla. We return with Miss Kenya Gone With the Wind Fabulous Moore, and honeeeeyyyyy, this episode was not to my liking. This blog is going to be brief, just like this episode should have been. I swear, they give us one jam packed episode then one that's all fluff.

I'm just saying, I needed a bit more in this episode because really, nothing actually happened. Everything that occurred was already known, implied, and/or assumed. So, we really just got a big platter full of "we already knew that". But let's get into the grades anyway.

Kenya: I felt pity for you on this episode. That's all I can really say. You were too much giving Cynthia the book, as if she didn't already know Ms. Vanessa Williams' importance. I don't know if you thought it would be funny, but Cynthia gave it right back to you and you had no choice but to stay seated. Now, as for the Walter stuff. None of it makes sense. What kind of man do you know that would want to be dragged into a proposal? You were expecting it (allegedly) because he was playing along with you on the beach in that previous conversation. This is why I believe you did manufacture this relationship. You wanted to have sympathy points. You knew he would flip out at all the marriage talk and that way you could sit there looking pitiful and get us to come around and be on your side. Not gonna happen. We viewers are way too smart for that. Kenya's grade for the week: F (that's a fail for trying to pull one over on us).

Porsha: I was dying laughing when Kordell asked you like three times what you did to Kenya! Like he knew you had to have pushed her buttons somehow. Which you kind of did but it didn't warrant her out of control response, as I stated in my last RHOA blog. This episode, you really kept it together and didn't call her out again - partly because she wouldn't let you get a word in. I think you're absolutely right about that "pageant apology" - it was not an apology at all. And you did what you had to do to make the trip palatable for you and everyone else. You let it go. The raisin face comments? A little below the belt, but it made me laugh, so I can't be mad. Porsha's grade for the week: B (she behaved on the trip but got her digs in on her interviews).

Cynthia: Once again, you stood up for yourself, spoke up for yourself, and put Kenya on the ground, literally! I was SO happy when you put her in her place. Kenya has now learned not to fuck with you and that makes me so proud. You have really planted your flag on this season! I'm just happy you were able to end the whole Kenya conversation with a hug and a laugh. Because that's what it should be on this show - the shade and the laughs. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (she said what she needed to say and she was able to get her point across without any unnecessary drama).

Kandi: I love that you and Nene talked about your differences in the past and got to a good place on this trip. That was way overdue. And I think you were partial to siding with Kim in the past. But you have seen the light - Kim is not a true friend and anything she told you to dissuade you from being cool with Nene is now irrelevant. So, I'm happy you two reconnected and expressed your feelings for each other. Nene is a much better person now and we all see that. And I loved that Todd was working on the vacation. I don't know why but that just made me like him even more. Kandi's grade for the week: A (she is all about the positive so far this season and I'm loving it).

Phaedra: You were really there for Kenya and I appreciate that. You're a better woman than I could have been. Especially after the shenanigans she was pulling with Apollo at the beginning of the vacation. I loved when you said she was out in the forest without a stun gun! You better work that product placement, Phaedra! And on a serious note, you were telling the truth when you said people who want to get engaged haven't been married. It's so true. I'm not married but I know marriage is not the answer to anyone's problems, nor does it fix anything. It's work and it's not easy. So, thank you for putting real knowledge out there for us to benefit from. Phaedra's grade for the week: A (she was so sweet to take care of Kenya, because I know I would have left her out in the forest).

Nene: You had so many good lines this week, it was hard to keep track, so keep that going all season please! I loved the Zen/Yoga/Booty Popping class on the beach. That was hilarious. You know we're watching Housewives of Atlanta when there's booty involved! But seriously, I think your conversation with Kandi was great. I loved that you were real and honest with her and you both came to a nice reconciliation. The whole trip you were just having fun and making it a great time for everyone. At the dinner where Walter set the record straight, you were telling the truth about asking for an engagement for sure. Your advice was spot on. I hope Kenya listens to you for her next relationship. And I think it's nice that you and Greg are so in love again. Nene's grade for the week: A (she had JOKES this week, some more raunchy than others, but she was really fun this week).

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RHOM - Bimini and Beyond

Hello again, kids! First of all, my apologies for giving you this RHOM blog this late. The holidays really took me to a fun and relaxing state of mind so I got a little lazy and decided to wait to post any blogs. But I'm glad I did because I have a lot to say and this blog will be chock full of fun stuff for you.

First, let's talk about the Bimini trip. Wow! Honestly, the Real Housewives franchise is taking us to some beautiful places so far. I can't wait to see where the OC girls take their vacation. Oh and New York better give us a girls' trip, too. Anyway, the Bimini experience was a little under the weather, literally, so that made for some hilarious wardrobe moments. I will say the trip ended beautifully, and yes, I cried. Don't judge me. And let me just give props to the musical director of these last three episodes. The music was phenomenal. You deserve an Emmy, whoever you are.

I cannot wait for the Reunion!!! I swear, these ladies are bringing it from what I've seen on the previews.

For the record, this blog will cover Episodes 13, 14, and 15 (the season finale). So, let's get cracking and please, Bravo, don't ever show me the conch penis again.

Adriana: Even though the ladies left you while you went to get your passport, you didn't make a huge deal out of it, which I appreciated. You got along with everyone on the trip and personally, I couldn't have cared less how many suitcases you brought. I don't know why anyone would even worry about it. I'm pretty sure the plane can handle your 5 suitcases or whatever it was. I have to talk about the piano scene. That was so lovely. I love seeing that side of you. I do believe you're cultured and talented, it's just that Real Housewives doesn't always have room to showcase that. I wish they would feature these kinds of scenes more often. And congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Please let the cameras be rolling, because I think it will be a gorgeous event. It was so great to see your son give his blessing (somewhat) to you marrying Frederick. And he's right, you're already a family now. I think the wedding and the marriage is a bigger deal for you because that means you're truly breaking down those walls and trusting Frederick totally. Which is huge, so I'm truly happy for you. I think you ended the season on a wonderful note - especially your healing speech at the beach. I hope that you are back next season and we have more fun moments with you. Let's leave the ugliness and fighting in the past. Adriana's grade for the week: A (she finished up the season with some great heartfelt moments).

Lea: Although your voice was piercing my eardrums in Bimini, I understood your point. I'm not sure I agree with that evil plot you have if your husband ever cheats on you (was that psycho or what?), in fact, I'm absolutely sure I don't agree with it. Wow! Anyway, you made some great points with Karent but she's not you and you have to accept that she wants to learn things the hard way. You can't force her to feel what you feel. I really enjoyed your talk with Lisa about having a child. You were really sweet with her and gave her wonderful advice. And you gave her career advice which was above and beyond - so I appreciate that. I have to address the blow up in Bimini with Marysol. It was like a merry go round at times, but you stated facts. You had evidence. You really put it all on the table. The bottom line was you were affected by what Marysol did and you wanted and deserved an apology. I'm still not sure if you got one, but you were right to let it go and hug it out. I'm not even mad at you for saying you only have time for Marysol in social situations. I think that's more than sufficient. You don't owe her anything and vice versa. But I will ask you to calm down and stop expressing an opinion when it hasn't been asked for. Seriously, what business was it of yours how much luggage Adriana brought??? And why did you have to announce your stance on it 15 different times??? Enough already!!! Lea's grade for the week: C (she annoyed me to a certain point, but she had some redeeming moments).

Joanna: You really don't ever learn, do you. I have to commend you for getting along with everyone on the trip, especially Adriana, but why on Earth would you blurt out the rumor about Alexia's husband when it had absolutely no place in the conversation? That was just stupid. I know, I know, you say what's on your mind. But sometimes, it doesn't need to be said. You have to think before you speak. But that's always been a challenge for you so I'm not expecting much from you in that department. I do think it was smart of you to separate the women in Bimini and it actually helped the trip in the end, so good on you for that. I have to call you out on jumping on Marysol's back and bringing up Elaine when no one was talking about that situation. I don't care how relevant you thought it was - the conversation was about Alexia and Karent, and Marysol was saying that everyone has to apologize and then you butted in and started something else. I don't want to say you're a shit stirrer, you're more like a shit thrower. You throw the shit for no apparent reason. As for your relationship with Romain, the last scene of the finale said you're not engaged, but you and Romain are clearly still together according to your social media activity. I'm just saying, if you come back next season, show us you're working on your relationship (therapy), your drinking (therapy), and your attitude (therapy). If not, I don't want to see the spoiled brat we watched all season all over again. Joanna's grade for the week: C (still not a fan but she did behave herself at the end of the season).

Marysol: Well, you didn't do yourself any favors in Bimini when Lea came at you with solid facts. All you could say is "I didn't know that". Are you serious??!! Ugh, it got to be so bad that I just wanted you to admit to everything just to get it over with. I'm glad you and Lea buried the hatchet at the end of it. Just make sure it stays buried, because I don't ever want to hear about that bullshit ever again. Regarding Phillipe, I'm glad you finalized the divorce. I think it's the best thing for you both. I'm not going to say it was a sham of a relationship but it was clear Phillipe was done done done. Do not hold onto someone who clearly cannot wait to leave. The idea of the healing hole was a good one and it turned out great. Like I said, each lady expressing themselves and exposing the hurt they were going through brought me to tears. It's true, we all have something we're battling. So it was a very unifying experience to see in Bimini and I thank you for bringing that to us this season. Your 10 year company anniversary party was a wonderful success and I was not surprised Elaine showed up to perform. The real T is, did you pay her? Just kidding! If you come back next season, I need to see you with a man who actually pays attention to you and I need more comedy with Mama Elsa. And no more mean girl stuff. Marysol's grade for the week: C (she was a disaster in Bimini but she pulled it together for the finale so I give her credit for that).

Alexia: Well, that whole article was a major bust and I'm wondering now if that was some idiot producer's idea to mix up the drama on the trip. All that to flush the damn article away? Mama Elsa was right, you dragged stupid drama into the vacation for no reason. And why? Why? Why did you have to ask 8 different people if you should tell Karent when you knew you were gonna tell her in front of everyone anyway? That was the dumbest thing ever. Again, I don't know if you were following Bravo orders or what but it was so pointless. I wish your role on the show could have been more than just trashing Karent the whole time. If you come back next season, I want to see more of you at work and at home - of course we want to know how your son is progressing. I really do like you, I just think this scaled back role on the show didn't do you justice. Alexia's grade for the week: D (I have to be honest, her role in the last few episodes didn't impress me, but I still like her as a person a lot).

Lisa: Here's another one that I like a lot but I have to call you out as well. I will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER understand someone that gets a great trip to an exotic locale and the first thing they do is complain about the accommodations. WTF??? Honey badger, no. Brat, yes. I understand, they were little sailboat beds but um ... I'm sure there's a Hilton or a Marriott around and you can pay for your own damn room. Just saying. That really irked me. Anyway, your talks with the ladies all pretty much showed you're a goodhearted woman who really wants to be a mom. Great, I love it. I hope you do have a child very soon. If you're on next season, show us what you're doing to stack the odds in your favor like Lea said. I won't really go in on Daisy's surgery because it was what it was and I didn't think it added to your storyline at all. Lisa's grade for the week: C (she really pissed me off with the whole bed thing but she is a likable cast member and she should return next season).

Karent: Praise the Lord, you got rid of Rodolfo's trifling ass! I'm just SAYING! I was waiting ALL SEASON for you to dump him, and we get it in the ending segment of the finale??? Anyway, you handled the whole article thing your way, which is not my way but that's just a matter of personality. You did want to act like everything was ok because you didn't want to be embarrassed by this group, which is understandable. And in reality, I think you were mislead by Rodolfo. I think he lied to you from day one. So you obviously couldn't have the girls throw that in your face so you chose to pretend like it didn't bother you. But of course it did. Lea didn't need to scream it in your face for you to get it. And your impersonation of her was PERFECT! Good for you for giving her a taste of her own medicine. I'm just saying. The fact that you left to go be with your father really spoke to me. I think I speak for all the viewers when I say you made the right choice and I hope your father is doing better. The scenes with you and your mother really made me feel like that was the real you. And the Karent we met at the beginning of the season was trying way too hard to make us like her. You're a fantastic person - and when you're just being yourself and talking to your mom - that finally shows. No Rodolfo, no spokesperson, no over-the-top antics, just Karent. Karent's grade for the week: B (she finally revealed who she is and I feel like she should have just been herself this whole time).

Ana: Gurl, why are you still doing Robert's laundry??? Please tell me Bravo put that in the finale for laughs only. On the trip, you were trying the best you could to stay out of the drama, but you had a breakthrough when you realized you were not the Ana in question when Karent confronted you in the beginning of the season. So you were vindicated, which I loved. Now, about Robert. I think you were waaaayyyy too attached and maybe a little codependent, which sucks because you have a boyfriend. So, as hard as it was to break that bond and no longer be Robert's wife on paper, you had to do it. I'm glad you did and I hope you're a million miles away from that person who was still holding on to something that was already over. I know you were worried about your girls, but they are truly stand up kids. They're lovely young ladies and they're gonna be fine. I really liked how you admitted you thought the healing hole was going to be ridiculous but it ended up being really good for you. And you took that conch penis like a champ! I do want to see you back next season but I want to see how your relationship is going and I want to see you working on your chef game - a restaurant of your own, perhaps? Ana's grade for the week: B (she made me laugh and I think she brought some much needed commentary to the show).

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RHOBH - Careful What You Ask

Happy Thursday, kids! I know this is SO late, but I wanted to hurry up and blog about RHOBH before another week slips by. Thanks again for being so patient with me, by the way. I'm back in the swing of things, and excited to share my opinions about what's been going on with the Beverly Hills ladies.

First, let's talk about these husbands, shall we? I felt so bad for Ken when he went into his surgery, but I was happy to see he made a great recovery - and had a good time bugging Lisa in the meantime. Mauricio's business is a huge success, I mean, some of those numbers he was throwing around blew my mind. That is so great. I know I could never be in real estate, I just don't have the sales gene, but anyone who is in real estate and makes a career out of it has my utmost respect. Congrats, Mauricio! Paul - well, he didn't come off so well these last few episodes. From back hair to calling Brandi a bitch at Mauricio's event, let's just say this isn't exactly Paul's finest hour.

For the record, this blog will cover the last three episodes (Episode 5, 6, and 7). So, I wanted to touch on the rest of the girls' Ojai trip before we get into the grades. Can I just say, that whole spa towel fight would have driven me crazy. I know that would have pissed me off if I was there. I get it, they were being playful and it was all in good fun. But if we're having a spa day (and this is just me), I want a friggin' spa day. We can play Capture the Flag later. I was so happy that the trip ended on a positive note and the only negativity after the Shut-the-Fuck-Up incident was on the party bus ride back to Beverly Hills. Otherwise, the drunken arm wrestling matches and gymnastics were pretty harmless - except to Yolanda's sleep that night. That would have pissed me off, too. Aren't they in a huge mansion? Why the hell couldn't they have partied in some other wing of the place? They have to do it directly above Yolanda's room? I don't understand ...

I also want to welcome Marissa Zanuck to the mix!!! I really like her!

I was going to grade Faye along with Kyle, but I want to keep Faye separate. Um, Faye, sweetheart, you went to Kyle's dinner knowing exactly what you were going to say to Brandi. Let's get that out of the way first. Now, I'm not saying you were wrong with anything you said to Brandi - but it wasn't your place to come out swinging like that. In all honesty, I think Brandi does say outlandish things and exaggerate sometimes. But you weren't at the tasting, and you weren't in on any of the conversations Brandi had with Adrienne that lead to all this. You really are just guessing and speculating. So, this is all your perception of Brandi. Which is fine, but you can't sit there and judge her when you don't really know her and you haven't really ever had interactions with her for yourself. You're taking other people's word for it, and while you say you know Adrienne and she's not a liar, that's just your experience with her. Brandi seems to have a different experience. Lisa has a different experience. But you are right, Brandi is probably going to talk about you because you've now inserted yourself in a situation that had nothing to do with you. So, congrats, I guess? Oh, and I almost died when you said "send an orchid". Bitch, really?! LOL!

Alright, now let's get down to brass tacks. I'm going in order of least controversy to most, so the first few grades are going to be pretty self-explanatory.

Yolanda: I loved seeing your playful and competitive side in Ojai, and I'm completely in awe of your healthy routine. Yeah, I woke up at 5:30 am to watch RHOBH when I should have been working out. I am a mess. Back to you. It was hilarious when you told the ladies at the table to talk like normal women - um, newsflash, this is normal to them. And we finally got to hear you say that there's nothing more classless than a drunk woman, or something to that effect. Um, bingo! LOL! You do realize you're on a Housewives franchise, right? You'd lose your shit if you were on RHOOC, just saying. We didn't see much of you on Episode 7, except for more working out - so, kudos to you, and I still really enjoy you on this show. I want you to keep giving us that playful, competitive edge so you don't become the one on the sidelines. Yolanda's grade for the week: A (she's shaming me into wanting to work out, that's a big deal).

Camille: I am so glad we finally got to see your boyfriend! But again, we do not need to hear about how he stacks up against your ex. In any way, shape, or form. It's annoying. Anyway, you were there for Kim and Kyle after Paul and Adrienne confronted Brandi at Mauricio's event, but you really didn't take a definitive side. You seemed to be letting Kim vent to you - maybe to be a buffer for her and avoid her having to face Brandi? That's just what I'm thinking you were doing. In fact, you were pretty close with Kim in Ojai, too. It was also interesting to see your reaction to Taylor comparing that situation to what happened between you two last season. I would've laughed in her face, but you were very polite about it. And I appreciated the fact that you talked about your surrogacy experience and how you can't really relate to some of the ladies on that front. Camille's grade for the week: B (no more ex talk, let's focus on that hot Greek piece!).

Taylor: Despite your best efforts, you really didn't piss me off that much over these last three episodes. I mean, you really tried it when you were "meditating" at the dinner table when Brandi announced her book deal. Two words: passive aggressive. Oh, and seriously, her divorce and your situation are two totally different things - and your book was out immediately after we learned about your late husband's suicide. You have to recognize that there is a difference there. Brandi did criticize you about it, and you took SO much offense to that, but it's ok for you to turn around and do it to her? Sounds like a hypocrite to me. Anyway, you got over it pretty fast because next thing you know it's a slumber party and you and Brandi are buddy buddy. Not sure what changed but hey, I'm fine with it. Cut to Mauricio's business event and Paul confronting Brandi. Now, hun, you know you tried it. You wanted some attention so you got all upset and flustered. I get that it was an ugly scene but you were very much trying to get the spotlight on you - not to mention you had to tell Camille that this group likes to bring up private issues in public - referencing the whole intervention the ladies had with you last season. Here's the difference. That was a private meeting of all you ladies because you were in a bad place and Camille was the only one who had the balls to come out and say what everyone already knew and what you wouldn't admit to on camera. What Paul did was at a public social event for someone's business. Again, two totally different things. I think you just like to compare everything to your own experiences because it's a chance to talk about yourself. Narcissistic much? I did appreciate you asking Brandi if she was ok after Paul left, though. That was nice of you. Taylor's grade for the week: C (because she does bring everything back to her, but at this point it's harmless).

Lisa: I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have a problem with you defending Brandi. I think you are a motherly figure to her - for example, at Shut-the-Fuck-Up-Gate, you told Brandi to apologize over and over again. I think you see something in Brandi that most people don't, and regardless of what anyone else thinks about it, you two have become close and you're going to defend her when you see fit. I don't have any issue with that. It will get you into trouble with the other ladies, but I'm sure you don't care. I'm so glad Ken is ok after his surgery and the scenes with you having to cater to him were hilarious. I love how you and Ken are with each other - the love is so easy going. There's no forcing it or anything. Which I find really comforting. I thought it was very smart of you to tell Scheana that she could not stay to talk to Brandi. No good would have come out of Brandi showing up to your house and having Scheana standing there. It would have appeared that you orchestrated it, so good for you for telling her to leave. The tasting looked like a dream. It was so beautiful and the food looked amazing. I wish you would have told Brandi to put a cork in it when she went on her Adrienne rant, but then again, maybe you did and we just didn't see it. The way it was edited made it seem like Brandi had the floor and no one told her to stop. So, that's all we have to go on - what we see on the show. As for Kyle's dinner party, I understood what you were trying to say. Kyle just wouldn't let you say it or finish your thought. That was a little disturbing, and it was even more disturbing when she brought up your problems with Adrienne. I think you handled it well, though. You didn't blow up, you just simply stated that you have moved on from your problem with Adrienne, which you have. Lisa's grade for the week: A (Lisa's been pretty fair with everyone and even though she defends Brandi, she tells her when she's wrong as well).

Kim: You were so great in Ojai, like, really great. I was hoping you would carry that peaceful, cool attitude throughout the season but I guess I was wrong. WTF? Ok, let me back up. I get that you were thrown by Brandi's anti-Adrienne PSA and big secret revelation at Lisa's tasting. I get that you wanted to give Adrienne a heads-up. I totally understand all that. But if you were so concerned, you should have called Adrienne that same day. You don't wait until she and Paul arrive at Mauricio's event and immediately tell her before she's even had a chance to sit down or have a friggin' hors d'oeuvre. That was your bad, Kim. How did you think Paul and Adrienne were going to react? It just blew my mind that you thought that that exact moment was the time and that that exact venue was the place. You clearly didn't think it through. Then, when Kyle tells you the truth, that you were wrong to do that, you snap at her. Really? I really don't care about the whole Vegas thing because whether you did invite Kyle or not - I just really don't care. I think you know that going to Vegas is a bad idea and it's bad for your sobriety but you're going to do it anyway for your son. Who, by the way, probably should have taken your whole just-got-out-of-rehab situation into account before inviting you to Vegas. Just saying. Kim's grade for the week: F (I gotta give her an F, not the time or the place, and she was so wrong to think otherwise).

Kyle: I would have been just as pissed at Kim if I were you, so I'm with you there. That's that. I'm so happy that Mauricio's doing so well. That's awesome. And I'm not mad at your daughter's new car! A Mercedes at 16 ... must be nice. But I'm not mad! LOL! You had a lot of fun in Ojai and I was happy for that, but you really gave Lisa the business for defending Lisa. Which we now know is going to be a trend with you. At the tasting, you were the one who asked Brandi what her problem was with Adrienne. So, some might say that you lit the match on that one (cough cough Kim cough cough). I don't really know what possessed you to ask Brandi that, especially if you don't want to keep the drama going. Were you asking for your own personal knowledge or was it for the cameras? I understand that when you're on a reality show, sometimes you have to discuss things on camera to facilitate the storyline at the time. It's not exactly stirring the pot, but it's just getting the conversation to go to the issue at hand. I have no problem with that if that was your intention. However, Kim is right, we all know that Brandi will say what's on her mind if you ask her. And you asked, and she told - more than anyone ever thought she would. It's definitely not your fault that she said what she said, but some would ask why you even brought it up in the first place. Moving on to your dinner party, I said before that I found it disturbing that you would bring up Lisa's problems with Adrienne. I mean, of all the things to bring up at that point. I just think it would have been better to drop the whole Adrienne topic in general. Obviously, Lisa is defending Brandi because she sees some merit in Brandi, and for some reason, that burns you up. Then, Faye gets involved, partly because you fed her your perception of the story beforehand. It's a lose-lose situation you've created. I'm glad Adrienne didn't show up to the party, but she might as well have been there because she was all over that conversation - and for no reason, really. People who like her, like her and those that don't, don't. No one is changing anyone's mind about her. But, it was disheartening to see you shut Lisa down the moment she wasn't going to chastise Brandi along with you and Faye. And it just seemed so unnecessary. Again, I don't care about the whole Vegas thing because you wouldn't have gone anyway, and if you had, you would've complained the whole time. Kyle's grade for the week: D (I don't know why she's fanning the flames between Adrienne and Brandi, or why she's so worried about Lisa defending Brandi, but it doesn't look good at all).

Adrienne: I don't know what your secret is and I don't want to know. All I need to know is what I saw - your reaction. It could have been the reaction of someone who has just been lied about or the reaction of someone who has something to hide. You tell me. It was interesting that you immediately started accusing Brandi of being a bad mother, a drug addict, and sleeping until 3 pm. Don't you think that's a little telling? Kind of like you were trying to get the spotlight off of you? We'll come back to this later. I think you were trying to draw attention to Kim at the restaurant in Ojai - I think you were signaling the other ladies to attack Brandi for making Kim cry - which was your perception of what was going on. But it backfired. I think you were enjoying Taylor's meditation bullshit at that same dinner because you wanted everyone to see Brandi as this annoying person who warranted someone having to meditate to deal with her. Did that make sense? I hope so. Anyway, I also feel that you brought up your book deal to try to one up Brandi - that's how it sounded to me. Let's go back to Mauricio's event. Now, when Kim told you and Paul what Brandi said, you both had two choices. Make a scene or don't make a scene. I think you didn't want to make a scene at first because you were laughing it off. Paul was the one who said, within Brandi's earshot, "that bitch" on purpose so she would hear. Paul was the one who set that whole fight in motion with his reaction. I don't know what Brandi said, and I don't care - Paul wanted to make a scene. I honestly don't think you wanted to, until Brandi and Paul were already screaming at each other. I totally understand you stepping in at that point, of course, because that's your husband. Where it falls apart for you, in my opinion, is when you make all these allegations against Brandi in the middle of this heated argument (about her telling this lie/secret/whatever). Isn't the "crime" here that she is accusing you of something? So your response is to accuse her of something worse and then say you're going to sue her? All I know is, your response seemed to be one of someone who has something to hide. That's all. Adrienne's grade for the week: D (I can't make heads or tails of this whole secret thing, but her reaction spoke volumes and she had been gunning for Brandi for quite some time).

Brandi: Well, you've certainly become the centerpiece of the show, haven't you! Not that it's all wine and roses, but hey, you are the hot topic. Now, I will say you should definitely have not used the F word in Shut-the-Fuck-Up-Gate. We all agree on that. You apologized and it seemed to be over. On the bus ride back to Beverly Hills, you were smart to not tell the group all the details about why you were upset with Adrienne. And I can't for the life of me remember who asked you about your issue with Adrienne? Was it Kyle? Honestly, someone tell me because I can't remember. Anyway, you held your tongue at that moment. At the tasting, though, you let it fly. I just want to know if your tirade was worthy of the hilarious fade in/fade out treatment that the Bravo editors gave it. How long was it? 10 minutes? 20? Just asking. Anyway, you said what you said and you felt like it was justified in order to prove that Adrienne is a liar. You asked about her birth experiences in Ojai and for some reason, it made it into the show. Was it just so Camille could tell us about how she can't relate because she had a surrogate? Or does that have something to do with this lie/secret/whatever? There's theories and rumors about what it is but I'll wait and see what ends up coming out on the show. At Mauricio's event, you really were a sitting duck. I think you could see the storm brewing and were absolutely powerless to stop it. Kim was spilling the beans right in front of your eyes. And you reacted to Paul's reaction. That's what happened. You took Paul's (and then Adrienne's) attacks for exactly what they were. I have to say, you could have done a lot worse. You ended up having a verbal altercation and yes, it was embarrassing. But you didn't call them out when Paul was in your face. You said "you don't want to know", which, to me, showed at least a shred of restraint on your part. And Taylor was nice enough to ask if you were ok, so there was another unexpected surprise. At Kyle's dinner party, again, you were asked about the whole Adrienne situation and you answered. Of course, Faye had to give you her analysis, which I'm sure you didn't appreciate. It was unsolicited and unnecessary! I thought it was interesting that you talked about Adrienne wanting you to take her side at last season's reunion. That does sound accurate based on what ended up happening. I truly want to know what Paul and Adrienne have done to you besides ask you to do things and say things for them. Have they threatened you? We saw the article they allegedly put out about you after Mauricio's event. But I just want to know if there's anything else that would make you so furious that you would go after them so vehemently. You were right to tell Faye that it was none of her business, by the way. You're right, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, but you have opened the door with everything you're saying about Adrienne. So now, you are subject to the same kind of scrutiny you're putting her through. What's good for the goose and all that ... I'm anxious to see how this all plays out. Brandi's grade for the week: C (she's gotta make sure this secret/lie thing is big enough to justify all this drama she's creating but I think she definitely knows something).

What do you think of the RHOBH drama? Tweet me!

Shahs of Sunset - Smile Through the Shade

Wow! This week, Shahs of Sunset was turned all the way up! I am really enjoying this season. I think this may be one of Bravo's best shows by far. I'm very invested in the cast and the interactions so far are giving me life! So, let's discuss the episode a little bit. MJ and Reza are on the outs, GG has a disastrous meeting with her father and sister, Mike interviews at Reza and MJ's office, Asa explores some business opportunities, and Lily's bikini line is taking off! I'm ready to hand out some grades ...

Reza: It makes me a little sad that you and MJ are fighting but you did tell MJ how you felt to her face. None of this gossiping behind her back bullshit. You said your peace/piece (I never know which one it is) and left it at that. You two are so close that you both know how to hurt each other and I think both of you got in some low blows. I love to see you in work mode, though, I have to say. If Mike ends up being your partner, I want to see some Persion Million Dollar Listing realness from both of you. I hope you patch things up with MJ eventually. But sometimes, you have to take a break from certain people once in a while. I think you two are overdue for a little space. The fact that MJ is defending GG after she said such horrible things to you is what's really driving all of this. Until MJ realizes this and makes it right, you should probably stay away from both of them. Reza's grade for the week: B (he is justified in his anger towards MJ, and he told her exactly what he was upset about, so I respect that).

MJ: First of all, I still like you. I want you to know that. But you are wrong when it comes to GG. I told you last week, stop defending her. Especially now that we know the awful things she said to Reza. You have to take yourself out of the equation. Instead, you're inserting yourself even further in between Reza and GG's beef. You cannot win in this situation. Get out now! This whole fight with you and Reza is so unnecessary. And I have to comment on the fact that you were not "working from home" in this episode. Maybe you were before the cameras got to your place, but what we saw was some major primping. No work there. I mean, no judgment for keeping yourself looking good. Absolutely no judgment there. But, do not say you're working from home and that's why you stroll into work whenever you want. Own the fact that you make your own pace - just like you said in your interview/confessional. And maybe it is time for you and Reza to part ways professionally. I think that will help your friendship ultimately survive. You two are not compatible as work partners. You have a totally different style. So just be friends and let the work be a separate entity. Regarding Lily, you were very harsh with her at dinner. You know you were wrong for bringing up that photo with her dog. You know you were grasping for anything negative at that point. You just don't like her. It's ok, not everyone clicks. Everyone doesn't have to be BFFs. I think you should have gotten to know her before writing her off, but that's just me. I have to say there is a little bit of jealousy there. It's natural. MJ's grade for the week: D (she is still in the middle of GG's bullshit and it's affecting everything else, plus she was rude to Lily for no reason).

Asa: I love your entrepreneurial spirit! But making diamond water is gonna be one tough gig, my friend! I hope it works out, but at this point, you're better off focusing on your music and art to make money. The diamond water idea is a good one, you just don't have that kind of cash to invest in it. And if you do it, it's gotta be 100% right. I loved the scene with your dad and mom. They are such wonderful people - it really shines through. And I love that you and Lily like each other. It shows that you aren't intimidated by someone who is the exact opposite of you. You seem like you really get to know the person and don't judge a book by its cover. Asa's grade for the week: B (she's still shaky with business but her personality is engaging and real).

GG: I'm not going to say you're crazy, but ... let me just start with your sister. Of course you butt heads, you're sisters. The fact is, she has her facts straight. When you say you just have to market the product, not sell it, you're giving yourself away. You are selling the product. If you're the name and face of the product, you're selling it all day every day. So, you gotta get that right before anything else. I'm kind of blown away at how much animosity there is between the two of you. How did either one of you ever agree to work with the other? It makes no sense. I think you should work with an existing extension/hair company to launch your product. You're not ready for your own business. It's not enough to throw a party. That's really the least of it, actually. So, listen to your sister for what it's worth. Because she's telling you the truth. As for your dad, he adores you. Just get it together, GG. Seriously. I have to touch on what Reza said you called him, and I have to say it's despicable. Now, I'm sure he threw you some digs and hurtful comments right back. But, if what Reza's saying is true, you've gone way too far. GG's grade for the week: F (she really needs to grow up).

Mike: I am SO glad you're going to work with Reza!!! I cannot wait to see what you two achieve together. And you were really good with MJ. I liked how you kept it real with her but you weren't hurtful to her at all. You're really coming into your own this season! Mike's grade for the week: A (he's really impressing me this season).

Lilly: You handled the whole dinner scene with MJ really well. I don't know if I could have kept my composure as much as you did. And you honestly inspired me when you said that haters make you realize how fabulous you are. It's true - why would someone pre-judge you based on nothing more than your appearance? Because you exude something they don't. Maybe it's self-confidence or self-esteem or just looking a certain way. If someone is not happy with themselves, they will tear you down to make themselves feel better. And I've been guilty of that in the past. There's always going to be someone who has something you don't. But that's ok. It's not a reason to hate them. It should inspire us to go get what we want or at the very least push ourselves to be better. All we can be is the best person we can possibly be. No matter what anyone else is doing. So, thank you for being a walking, talking reminder that other people's opinions do not define us as women. We have to build each other up, not tear each other down. Like I said, this is a lesson I have to really put into practice. Because it's so easy to be negative. It's a challenge to be positive and smile even when someone is trying to hurt our feelings. So, thank you. I'm so glad you're on this show!! Lily's grade for the week: A (I just love her personality and how she is always smiling no matter what. She is so happy all the time, it's an inspiration to me).

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RHOA - Angst, Anguish, and Anguilla

Hello again, kids! I'm all caught up on RHOA and I have A LOT to say. But first, let me just clarify that although I watched the last three episodes of RHOA, I'll mostly just cover what happened in last night's episode, just because that's where we're at in the season. So I won't be getting into too much of what happened in the other two episodes, with the exception of Kim's exit. I will be going deep about that.

So let's get started!

Kim: Your exit was welcomed, expected, and overdue. I could not believe you sat there at that table and made up lie after lie after lie just to finally quit the show. For that, you should have just walked in, said, "I'm not going on the trip" and walked back out again. You straight up said Kroy was going with you to Anguilla and then ten seconds later, said you were not going to Anguilla after all. And I have to call you out on something. You kept saying in interviews that the reason you left the show was that the ladies were being violent towards you and you couldn't stay on a show like that. NO ONE was being violent or threatening you in the slightest. So, what exactly are you talking about? Lies! You don't want to be on this show anymore. You want your spinoff (which you have, God knows why) and you want to leave RHOA behind. Great! Good for you! But here's the problem. You think you're going to have spinoff success (a la Bethenny) but I honestly do not see that happening. I don't see you as a Bethenny type of personality - besides the fact that she's at least likable to most of the viewers. Sure, your spinoff has a following, but it will not last. Mark my words. You alienating the RHOA cast will be the worst decision you ever made - for your career. Believe it or not, you will need those contacts someday. I'm glad you're off the show and I never have to watch you and your stank attitude ever again. Kim's grade for the week: A+ (for leaving the show, of course!)

Porsha: I am still liking you a lot. You really are just a normal, sweet girl. I'll forgive you for the 265 days a year thing because I think you were starstruck with Nene and Cynthia. I think that was all nerves but it was funny. It's not a crime to be a little ditsy, anyway. I give you major credit for letting Cynthia know about Kenya dropping it in front of Peter (and yes, she did shake it, but you kept that part to yourself). I feel like you had Cynthia's back on that. As for your blow up with Kenya - you did get heated when you were explaining the whole charity event incident to Nene. I think that's what got Kenya all fired up. Then, when Kenya was taken away from you, you went after her and started it up again. You should have just went to your villa and left Kenya alone. You going after her was a mistake. Oh, and he was Filipino, not Chinese. Porsha's grade for the week: C (she kept the fight going and that was unnecessary).

Nene: You gave me EVERYTHING these last few episodes. This is the Nene we love. You raised your voice for just a moment at Kim and then composed yourself just in time to see her flee the scene. She knew you were about to let her have it and she just couldn't take it. I loved you and Greg together in Anguilla, and I think you two are definitely falling back in love with each other. Yay! You were hilarious calling Kenya out on her shenanigans, too, by the way. I just love that you're giving us COMEDY now. And you stepped in and tried to keep Kenya and Porsha from physically fighting with each other, so I give you credit for that, too. Nene's grade for the week: A (for making me laugh again).

Kandi: I have a major bone to pick with you. Why on Earth would you invite Kenya to that brunch knowing this was Peter and Cynthia's trip? It wasn't up to you to invite anyone else, unless you talked to Peter and Cynthia first. Or maybe someone (cough cough producers cough cough) put you up to it? Anyway, I really like you and Todd together and you seemed like you were having a great time in Anguilla. I don't think the little hot air balloon not taking off on the beach was an omen at all, by the way. You and Todd have great chemistry. Kandi's grade for the week: B (because bringing Kenya to the brunch so she could invite herself on the trip was wrong as hell).

Phaedra: I have to give you a lot of credit. You made sure EVERYONE knew you were NOT having Kenya's bullshit. And I don't blame you! You made it clear that her antics were not appreciated, so hopefully she respects that and leaves Apollo alone. Now, it's also a little bit on Apollo, too, because he did not have to engage in the flirtation with her. He could have been polite and quiet with her, not participate in all that pool play. That was totally unnecessary and I'm sure you told him so. Keep putting Kenya in her place! And I am so happy you 'fessed up to Cynthia and apologized. Well done. Phaedra's grade for the week: A (I am loving Phaedra right now).

Cynthia: I'll say it again, you are my GIRL right now! I am really enjoying you this season. You're having fun but also giving the drama without being out of control. You were irritated with Kenya's little stunt (dancing with Peter) but you let it go for the sake of the trip, and you recognized everyone was in the party mood and it may not have been malicious. But you're keeping your eye on her and with good reason. The vow renewal was beautiful! It is so nice to see you and Peter being lovey dovey and so into each other. Congratulations on the renewal of your vows! Cynthia's grade for the week: A (for spicing it up this season!).

Kenya: Gurl. You are out of control. And not in a good way. Now that we know Walter was playing the role of your boyfriend to give you a storyline on this show, all of the foolishness you're giving us is just sad. We can't even laugh at you because what you did to be on this show was so desperate and unnecessary. If you're that successful, why even bother lying about your relationship status? You should have been the single one on the show! There is nothing wrong with that, and it would have given us some variety since all the ladies are now either married or in serious relationships. You are so dumb for this, Kenya. Really. But let's talk about all the ho shit - I mean, flirting you did in the last three episodes. First of all, the flirting is a real turn off. You're talking to a married man in front of his wife and your "boyfriend" like there's no one else around. See? This is why you can't be trusted. If you do this shit when people are around, what are you capable of when there's no one watching? Then the pool thing. Stupid and made you look so common. Like a trashy, common slut. Then dropping it in front of Peter. You are lucky Cynthia didn't see it. Then, you verbally accosted the nice Filipino man and practically threw yourself at him. Not cute. Walter was right to ask you if you took your meds. Which reminds me, you weren't even supposed to be on this trip, and you have the balls to complain about your room?? I can't. I just can't. Now, let's just touch on you acting like Nene isn't totally right about you and Walter. You're caught. Deal with it. As for your fight with Porsha, you really must have been drunk to take what she said and turn it into a screaming match. Yes, she was explaining her side of the story so it was favoring her. But you could have easily stated your case and done it in a classy way, since you say you're so classy and educated. You showed your true colors, Kenya. You're desperate for attention on a reality show and you'll make a fool out of yourself to get it. Kenya's grade for the week: F (for being fake, phony, desperate, and for being a liar).

What did you think of RHOA? Tweet me!

Shahs of Sunset - Oh Snap! PS - I'm Back!

Well, kids, I'm back! And of course, my first blog back has to be about Shahs of Sunset. I'm not saying I won't be blogging about Real Housewives, but I needed to ease myself back into the blogging scene, and the thought of some of the shenanigans on RHOA and RHOBH were a little too much for me to take right now. I will be blogging about them, though. I just want to catch up and give you my best snark possible for those HWs, ya know? As for myself, I feel 100% better and the little week-long sabbatical from all things reality-tv related was just what I needed. Sometimes I just have to step back and make sure I'm ok before I hand out grades (judgment) on these lovely people who let us watch their crazy amazing (for the most part) lives. I feel super grateful and super positive and I feel like Shahs was the perfect show to re-launch the blog (after a week, LOL seriously, I am such a drama queen).

But, enough about me, let's talk Shahs! I AM LOVING THIS SEASON. Episode 1 - winner. It gave me everything I needed - family drama, partying drama, friend drama, and of course, luxuriousness for days. Episode 2 popped off even more than I expected and I feel like we are seeing the true dynamics of this group - they've grown and changed, in ways we didn't really imagine. Who knew all this was going to happen in the first two episodes? Bravo, Bravo! You've outdone yourselves.

Before I give out grades, um ... what happened to Sammy? Just asking.

MJ: You have opened up your soul so far this season, and I honestly feel for you. The whole situation with your mother is heart breaking, but I have to side with your aunt and tell you to leave your mother alone. At least for now. I love that you're in therapy (I will always advocate for therapy, especially when it comes to reality stars), and I think you know exactly why you and your mom have issues. You have to take the time to pull yourself out of this rut you're in - trying to get your mother's approval, because it will not happen right now. Once you free yourself from her expectations and opinions, and do what is truly right for you, she will not respect you. You have to use that pain to propel you forward. I'm rooting for you. However, you have to stop babying GG. Because it's making you look bad at this point. Let GG make her mistakes and stay out of the fights with her and Asa. You can't win being in the middle, regardless of how much you can appreciate both sides. This isn't your fight. Focus on yourself - I mean it. MJ's grade for the week: C+ (for working on herself, but she has to quit the mommy stuff with GG).

GG: Are you and Joanna Krupa related? Because I think you both suffer from the same delusion. Don't get me wrong, I see a much more likable side to you this season. You are softer but you still have that hair trigger. Not cute. Seriously, get off the booze and take a lesson from MJ. Get yourself some therapy and figure out why you want to lash out at people every single time you drink. It's not a coincidence. It's a problem. And sorry, but Obid was super inappropriate at Asa's dinner. You actually weren't that bad at the dinner, but you made up for it at the pool party. You were drunk and horrible. You were ok in the beginning when you were telling Asa why you got offended, but you let your anger take over and it totally negated every good point you would have made. Now, let's talk about the whole business/sister thing. I can see that you're overwhelmed but if you know your sister isn't going to be sensitive to your situation, ASK SOMEONE ELSE for help. Call MJ or some other friend who has a background in business. Ask Reza! The point is, don't come to your sister with this whole "I don't know what I'm supposed to do" bit and then be all sad because she tells you the truth about yourself. I think you definitely need an internship somewhere so you can realize how fortunate you are to just start off a business without any kind of experience. You are in such a blessed position and you don't even appreciate it. GG's grade for the week: F (she's got her head up her ass at this point).

Asa: I can see why GG was offended at what you said - and I think you would have responded differently if she had spoken to you in private before the pool party. The fact is, your comment about Obid's nose was insensitive and rude. But it didn't warrant such a violent reaction from GG. I'm glad you didn't back down, though. No matter what was said, her running towards you in a drunken rage was totally uncalled for. You moved on and didn't engage her at all. Regarding MJ, I think you weren't out of line telling her that she takes GG's side, especially when she hadn't approached you about it until after the fight. I can totally relate to you not wanting to deal with bullshit, but I have to say, you have to watch yourself, too. You can't say inappropriate things and not expect someone (GG) to react. In her case, it was an overreaction, but the point is, lead by example. If you wanted to applaud Obid for not getting a nose job, there was a much better way to say it, and maybe not at a table full of people. You could have told him you love his profile and talked about your profile art. Something like that, something not so ... incendiary as "cheers to your big nose". Asa's grade for the week: C+ (because she did make a rude comment but at least she didn't play into GG's violent behavior).

Lilly: I love you. Seriously. I didn't think I was going to dig you as much as I do. You're super nice, super sweet, and super cool. Of course, you think a lot of yourself but I'm actually willing to overlook it because you're so damn likable. When you stood up to Obid, I was like, YES! I like this girl! I love your friendship with Reza, too. The bikini business is definitely promising - and business will boom with you being on this show, which makes me think you're a smart business lady, and that makes me like you even more. Lilly's grade for the week: A (she really impressed me!).

Reza: You're still my favorite, boo! I love that you're even more fabulous this season. I didn't think that was possible, honestly, but you are. I'm excited to see your relationship with Adam develop on the show. And you are a genius for bringing Lilly on, by the way. The business relationship between you and Mike would be awesome, so I hope you two pursue that. I just love you, that's all. Reza's grade for the week: A (for being himself - and keeping it real with everyone so far this season).

Mike: I love you this season, too! The Italian girlfriend, the partnership with Reza, the whole thing. I love what you're bringing. I also loved that you tried to calm GG down. You're still her friend throughout all her craziness. I just hope she appreciates that. You're a good guy and I think you're gonna do great things. You've got a much better attitude and you just seem to be in a much better place emotionally. Mike's grade for the week: A (he's the new and improved Mike!).

What are you loving or hating about Shahs of Sunset this season? Let me know! Tweet me!

Deactivating Facebook

Flipping Out Season Finale

Lindsay Lohan

Patti Stanger, Halle Berry, Kenya Moore

Teen Mom 2 Jenelle and Barbara

RHOM - Fake Apology

Well, kids, I couldn't sleep last night, so I actually watched RHOM at like 2 am, which was actually kinda nice for some odd reason. I definitely want to slap myself for staying up so late, but hey, it is what it is. This week was a little off for me in regards to the Miami ladies. They weren't really giving me much to work with but their mothers made up for it. So we'll deal with the moms and then the key players in this episode. Sorry to those I omit, but them's the rules now.

Elsa (Marysol's Mother): Um, you have some explaining to do. I love you, but you calling PRESIDENT OBAMA an "animal" is ... just ... SO WRONG. What the hell do you mean by that? You know what? I don't even want to know. SO disappointed in you. Elsa's grade: F (I'm so mad at her right now).

Lenny's Mother (didn't catch her name): You made a not so great impression, let's be honest. You were bitchy to Lisa (which, by the way, do you KNOW what she's been through with the miscarriages and all???) And then you say you're "not sure about Obama" ... I don't like you. Lenny's mom's grade: F (not cool - that's all I'm gonna say).

Joanna's Mother (again, forgot her name and I'm too lazy to try to find it): I LOVE YOU! You seem like a super nice lady and you told Joanna the truth about herself and gave her awesome advice. I hope she listens to you. I loved that you opted out of the political conversation. Can you join the cast permanently? Joanna's mom's grade: A+ (she is my new favorite HW Mom).

Frederic's Mother (sorry ...): You are classy, elegant ... perfection. In vintage Dior, no less. Frederic's mom's grade: A+ (another new favorite).

Now let's address the ladies:

Adriana: I think we got to see a different side of you this week, at least a different side as far as this season is concerned. I'm glad you are working on your trust issues. Frederic does seem like a really good guy. I wasn't sure about him at first, but I think he's definitely in it for the long run. But you have to get over the stuff that's holding you back. So, take care of that ASAP. The 50th Anniversary party was awesome. I loved it. The Brazilian band and you dancing in costume at the end was hilarious. You looked really happy and that made me feel happy for you. Keep this happy vibe going! Adriana's grade for the week: A (she's making progress).

Karent: I felt sorry for you on this episode because Rodolfo is clearly not that into you. It's sad because you're not a bad person or a bad girlfriend, for that matter. You're just not seeing what's right in front of you. He doesn't want to have children with you, hun. I'm sorry but that's what it is. We know you're no longer with him, so I'm glad you're not still in that relationship. However, for the purposes of this blog, I have to judge based on what we saw. Karent's grade for the week: D (for being so clueless).

Lisa: I can't imagine how frustrating it is when you're constantly being pressured to have a child when you've already had such a hard time with that whole situation. I really felt for you with your mother in law. But, you were respectful (but you did let her know you noticed she didn't tell you she loved you) and you had a beautiful seder for your friends and family. I really like you and I thought your toast was cute. Lisa's grade for the week: A (I feel for her).

Marysol: I think you've been caught in a lie, my dear. Not that James doesn't lie, either, because he clearly does. But I think between you, James, and Lisa Pliner, we'll never get the real story about what happened. If Lisa didn't want to pay James, she should have told James that. You should have never said a word because you knew it would get back to James somehow. So, lesson learned. If you don't want it coming back to you, keep your mouth shut about James. I thought it was nice that you had James/Elaine over to your office to talk about things and apologize, until you revealed that you didn't even know what you were apologizing for. It just makes you look two-faced. Marysol's grade for the week: D (I didn't like her fake apology).

Ana: I just have two questions and two statements for you. Why does your ex have his laundry done at your house? Why do you feel like you need to comment on your ex's appearance? If I were your ex's girlfriend, I'd be afraid to meet you, too (no shade). And I just want to say I really like your daughters. But seriously, cut the cord from your ex and move on. This isn't healthy. Ana's grade for the week: C (I get it, moving on is hard, but this was just annoying this week).

That's it for this week, Lea doesn't get a grade but she does get a side-eye from me about her "Latin Time" comment.

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RuPaul's All Star Drag Race Finale - Hall of FAMAAAH!!!

We've come to the end of the road for Drag Race All Stars, and it was bittersweet for me. There'll be no grades this week, because these ladies are all winners. The Hall of Fame is a great prize, not to mention the money and the MAC and the trip. But, this All Stars season was really a gift to the audience, I think. We love these queens so much and we're so passionate about this show, and to be able to see some of our favorites compete again was a wonderful prize for all of us. I hope another All Stars season is coming soon (after Season 5 and Drag U, of course).

The finale challenge was hilarious, from beginning to end. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time. And Delta Work and Ongina as the drivers was GENIUS! The interview portion was really fun to watch, except when Jujubee kept getting interrupted. Don't feel bad, gurl, that happens to me all the time. Then, the Hamburger Mary's speech - they all did such a good job! And that burger looked deeelish! Then, my most favoritest part of all, the Comedy Store. You may not know this, but I did stand up for a little while not that long ago, and I can tell you from experience, it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. So, I was totally sympathetic to the ladies' jitters before doing their stand up sets. But they all did great and got a lot of laughs.

I have to give Michelle Visage some love, her reactions were everything! She was so focused on everything the gurls were saying - and I could see exactly what she was going to critique them about just by her facial expressions.

And RuPaul's laugh at the Comedy Store GAVE ME LIFE!!!

Cheri Oteri was a great comedy coach. I love her so much! She is one of my favorite SNL ladies :-), and Beth Ditto is so fun and such a delight. What a great pair of guest judges for the finale!

Of course, the winner is Chad, and I'm happy about that. She really shined this season - she dominated challenges and her looks were always on point. I'm sad that Raven didn't win but the truth is, she didn't win a lot of challenges and she just couldn't go above and beyond for whatever reason.

Jujubee didn't take the crown, but I'm sure she is the fan-favorite this season. Her personality and wit makes her such a joy to watch.

Shannel opened up and let us see some of the pain that drives her. That moment when she said she finally realized she was good enough brought tears to my eyes.

All in all, it was a great season, and Chad, the most deserving queen, won the first Hall of Fame spot. But I think there's room on that wall for a few more queens. Jujubee, Raven, and Shannel are all winners and will always be associated with the very first All Stars Drag Race, kinda like a Royal Court of fabulous queens, Drag Race Royalty, if you will.

What did you think of the finale? Tweet me!

RHOBH - Oh Hi, Ojai!

I hate these kinds of episodes, because you know they're just ramping up the the real drama that's gonna happen next week. It's all the setting up before the big party, you know? Anyway, Monday's RHOBH was a lot of prep work, not so much pay off. I mean, we did get the rest of Adrienne and Lisa's talk, which was good and we got the drama at dinner at the end. But it was a whole lot of filler in between. And these ladies know about filler. But, let's get to it. And from now on, I'm only addressing the key players in the episodes, so if someone isn't mentioned, they didn't make the cut. 

Let's grade these HW's!

Kim: This trip to Ojai was totally your idea, which is great, because in other seasons you were very anti-social. So, seeing you get everyone together was very refreshing to watch. You were an awesome hostess and you kept it together even when some of the girls were bitching about the bedroom situation. You looked calm and happy. I'm really happy for you. The moments with you and Brandi talking at dinner were really touching. You recognized that even though she's not your favorite person, you had to make an effort, and you did. When you two really came together in this totally genuine private moment, you got emotional, which is totally natural. Kim's grade for the week: A (I like her a lot and I think she's come a long way).

Kyle: You kind of got slammed by Lisa at dinner for imitating her. Here's what. It probably got old, and she told you so in her way. I don't know what it is about you and Lisa this season, but there's definitely a change. You being in the middle of the whole Adrienne/Lisa thing isn't working. And I have to point out that you do an awful lot of commenting about Lisa to Adrienne and the other ladies. Not sure what that's about. Why did you feel like you had to speculate about how Lisa felt about sharing a room with Brandi? I do agree with you about Brandi telling Adrienne to shut the f*ck up at dinner. You're right, she should have said something else. Kyle's grade for the week: C (I'm not sure why she feels like she has to imitate Lisa (or mock her) and then crack jokes about her, it's making her look like a crappy friend).

Brandi: Congratulations on the book, but that title is no bueno. I think you could come up with something much better. And unless your book is about cancer, you shouldn't put the word "cancer" in the title. That's just my opinion. I do like the idea of the book, though. You're telling us how you got through all the mistakes and ups and downs in your life; and I'll probably read it just because I do like how you tell it like it is. No matter the words you choose, you do tell it like it is. I loved your photo shoot for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine - you looked gorgeous, thumb wrinkle and all! But seriously, you can't be so hard on yourself when it comes to your looks. I really appreciated how sincere you were with Kim at dinner on the trip and I think you two were genuinely bonding at that table. When Kim got emotional, it was real. So, I understand why you were upset when Adrienne announced it to everyone. I don't agree with the way you said it, but you were almost protecting Kim in a way. You knew what Adrienne was doing by pointing out that Kim was crying and you weren't having it. Brandi's grade for the week: B (she says it like she means it, but I wish she could choose her words more wisely!).

Lisa: I loved that you thanked Adrienne for the flowers during your sit down. I just think you're super classy, and again, you can adopt me whenever you want. I get your humor. So when you say that you didn't mean to make Adrienne that nervous or refer to the whole "hoof" thing, I know you're making light of the bullsh*t because it's so ridiculous, how can you not make fun of it? But some people will take offense to it and say that you're mean. I think you can see the humor in those incidents and laugh them off. Your conversation with Adrienne was a success for you because you got the apology you wanted (finally). And I don't blame you for not wanting to be BFF with her again, or for keeping your distance. You accepted the apology and that's that. It helps you two be civil with each other, that's all. The trust was broken and it's probably never going to be repaired. But at least you're not at war - for now. I like your friendship with Brandi and the way you encourage her. It was so generous and nice of you to have her pose for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine - such a sweet gesture on your part. Now, as for the trip to Ojai - you did look perturbed about the roommate situation. And you are a little bit of a diva, that's why we love you! At dinner, you snapped at Kyle, which I wasn't really expecting. But when I stopped to think about it, I would be irritated by the whole accent thing too after a while. Lisa's grade for the week: A (she has her guard up with certain people, but I don't blame her, and she seems genuine to me).

Adrienne: I applaud you for apologizing to Lisa. You knew it was the right thing to do and you did it. I don't think you really meant it, though, because you had to remind us that Lisa didn't apologize to you. She didn't apologize because she didn't spread a vicious rumor about you, she made some stupid jokes that you took way too seriously. Unless I'm wrong, in which case, please correct me. And then in Ojai, you had to make a point of saying you're getting a "better bedroom" than Lisa. Petty, petty, petty. Do you hear Lisa talking about you like that? No, because she's an adult. Why are you constantly trying to prove how much better than Lisa you are? Let's talk about the dinner. You see Kim crying and immediately announce it to the group. Why? What were you really trying to accomplish by doing that? Were you trying to imply that Brandi must have done something wrong to make her cry? But you weren't counting on Brandi actually being on Kim's side and telling you to shut the f*ck up. So you ended up looking stupid. Because you inserted yourself into a conversation that had nothing to do with you and you made it awkward for everyone. It's time for you to focus on yourself and why you feel like you need to tattle on Brandi and one-up Lisa - because it's not about them, it's about what's going on with you. Adrienne's grade for the week: D (she is looking so childish right now).

Taylor: You say Brandi is toxic because you never know what she's going to say or do. Pot, meet kettle. Taylor's grade for the week: F (you better check yourself before you wreck yourself, gurl).

Camille: Give it a rest about Frasier Crane's privates, already! (No grade, I just wanted to tell her that!)

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

RHOA - Lies and Complaints

Sunday's Real Housewives of Atlanta was not the best episode this season, by far. The best episode will be this coming up Sunday when Kim quits the show. Hallelujah!!! I will be praise dancing all up and down my living room for sure! But until then, let's talk about this pretty tame episode. It wasn't really that juicy at all. Phaedra's son's birthday party and her alleged butt dial conversation, Kim moving (how long does it really take to move? She's been moving since the first episode this season!), and Kenya's boyfriend meets her family. Nothing major here. So from now on, I'm only going to grade the key players in each episode. If you don't get a grade, that means you weren't on the show that week or your role was not relevant to what happened in the episode.

So, here we go.

Kim: Seriously, how long does it take to pack up a house? Even a huge house like that one? You had help! Anyway, you continued to have a sh*tty attitude which was then mirrored back to you by everyone in that house. I will leave that there, you can read into it what you will. You went back to your townhouse, which is perfectly fine for your family, by the way, and everything seems like it will be ok. But no. Where will you tan? Ummm, are you f*cking kidding me? I am just going to say again, I can't wait for you to leave this show. You contribute nothing, you complain constantly, and you're not one bit grateful for what you have. If you were, you wouldn't have that stank look on your face all the time. No one cares that you didn't go to Ayden's party because all you would have done there is complain anyway. Kim's grade for the week: F (I don't find her funny or charming, and she gets on every single one of my nerves).

Kandi: You are 100% right about Kim. She didn't move out quietly and do things like a grown, mature, adult woman, because she's NOT. But, I totally agree with you about that whole situation. I can see that Kim's comments about your house bothered you, so I say tell her to her face that you didn't like what she said. Put her in her place! Moving on, I think you could have had your mom live in the little guest house on your property, but if she has her own place and she's comfortable, that may not be necessary right now. I think if she ever needed to live with you, you would make sure that happened, but that's just my take on it. As for Ayden's party, it was hilarious when you said Phaedra's events are like marathons. Apparently! But hey, you showed up and I'm sure she appreciated it. Kandi's grade for the week: B (she needs to tell Kim how she feels).

Phaedra: Let's cut to the chase. You're a liar. When someone confronts you and you dodge the issue and change the subject? Ding ding ding! You've been caught, hun! If you would have just said, "Yes, Cynthia, I said that when I was in the middle of planning this party, and I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry", this whole thing would have been over. Just like when you refused to come clean about how far along you were in the pregnancy. Everybody knows when you're caught, you're caught. Making a fool out of yourself to get out of telling the truth is just stupid. I can't really understand why you went through so much foolishness just to avoid being real with Cynthia. Phaedra's grade for the week: F (she couldn't take responsibility for what she said, no matter what the reason for saying it, she should have just owned it).

Kenya: We get it. You want to get married. It just seems to me that if you have to do this much convincing, the guy may just not be that into you. Relax! I think you're used to bulldozing over people to get what you want and it's time to stop. Just be the best person you can be and let things happen. You're trying to force everything and it comes across as controlling and overbearing. Not a good look. Dropping hints is not gonna make a man propose any faster. Again, if you have to do this much work, is he really the one for you? Just saying. And I don't even care that you didn't cook that meal. No judgment on that from me. Lest I be judged. Kenya's grade for the week: D (she is forcing things to happen instead of letting them happen and I think that's a huge mistake).

Cynthia: The fury on your face when you heard Phaedra say that she didn't give a f*ck if you came to the party was priceless. I liked the fact that you confronted her about it and even told her you could play the message for her. Now, I don't know where that message came from, but for whatever reason (cough cough producers cough cough), you got a hold of it. And you sat Phaedra down and asked her point blank why she said it. Because you ladies were cool with each other. So it does seem odd that she would say that. I think you handled yourself well on this one. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (she went straight to Phaedra with her concerns, even though she got an absolutely idiotic response).

Nene: Your comedy this episode was on point, from the facial expressions to the jokes, I was LIVING. Nene-haters be damned, you are funny. Of course you had to show Cynthia the message from Phaedra (cough cough producers cough cough), so you did your job. Hey, if this is your last season, you might as well facilitate the drama and stand on the sidelines and watch with the rest of us. Nene's grade for the week: A (for bringing the comedy, I loved it).

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