Friday, December 28, 2012

RHOM Reunion Part 1 - Reunions are a Team Sport

First, I think I need to reiterate that I can only comment on what I see and hear on the show. I don't personally know any of these ladies, although if any of them want to hang out, HOLLA!!! Anyway, I have to call these shows as I see them and I sincerely try to be as objective and fair as possible. However, there are some personalities that are more pleasing to me than others, I'm only human. Also, there's a whole lot of editing and chopping up scenes over at Bravo. So, I'm not going to fault anyone for apparently speaking out of turn, because for all we know, Andy gave that person the floor and they weren't interrupting anyone.

Now that we got that out of the way, RHOM's Reunion started off with a bang, a clang, and a whammy! These ladies are not playing around, y'all! And as much as it entertains me, and you of course, I think it's safe to say that we don't think it's ok to scream and yell at other women in real life. But this is a Bravo Housewives Reunion (AKA An Alternate Universe Where Screaming and Yelling are Acceptable Forms of Communication), so I'm all in and not afraid to admit that I love this shit. If only every reunion were like this. I love that these ladies brought it - cleavage, diamonds, curse words, and lots of insults. Again, I don't condone this type of drama in real life ... it's entertainment, kids!

It's important to note that the couches were clearly set up for the two teams: Ana, Marysol, and Adriana vs. Joanna, Lisa, Karent, and Lea. Later, Alexia will join the former.

And let me just remind everyone, I am the child of a hot tempered Latina mother. Maybe that's why I have a soft spot for some of these ladies. The Latin Fire burns within me so I'm not the least bit phased by the fast talking, loud voices, hand gestures, and everything that comes along with a Latin Woman who is pissed off. That's essentially my birthright. And I'm damn proud of it. 

With all that in mind, let's hand out some calificaciones!

Ana: You had your sights set on Lea and you came out swinging. I have to give you a little bit of credit for having all that ammunition ready to go right off the bat, but damn! Geritol in the Lea Kool Aid? Harsh! But, if you honestly feel that you're unmasking the Lea that you know, then hey, go for it. You definitely had some facts to throw out there to make your argument. I don't know if selling cold cream out of a car in Texas is a crime, though. And it didn't really prove anything, except that Lea potentially worked really hard for herself in the past? Then you threw in the whole "on her back" comment, which even by my standards was a low blow. She very well may have taken advantage of rich men but it was such an explosive statement, I'm wondering if you should have just kept that to yourself. Maybe you should have just explained that Lea is not the person she claims to be and left it at that. I do have to commend you for telling the ladies to stop throwing the word "bully" around. You're absolutely right, there is no bullying between grown ass women who can all defend themselves. Thank you for saying that. And when you said Rodolfo is a simpleton and the Miami version of Slade, I almost died laughing. Hilarious. Ana's grade for the week: C (although I love the fire she was bringing, she did a little too much on this part of the reunion for me. She should have built up to exposing Lea, not jumping into it so quickly).

Marysol: THANK YOU for finally telling Lea how her comments have affected you. This is what we needed all season. You finally let it out instead of trying to be polite about it. Sometimes you have to just come out and say it, no matter how it comes across. I think during the season, you were be cautious and it came across as you not responding to the allegations Lea was directing towards you. I wanted to see you defend yourself on the reunion and you did that. You came out and said that you need to protect your business and that's why you didn't want to keep talking about the gala, which makes perfect sense. It's in the past, after all. And you and Lea will never agree as to what happened, so I don't think it should ever be brought up again. Also, you referenced your marriage briefly before getting cut off and we all saw Lea make her jokes about it, which I never liked. Hopefully, you will let her know in part 2 that her comments about your marriage were not ok. Even though I commented on it in my last blog, I was referencing the fact that on the couch, Phillipe was saying that divorce was the best choice (and he said it more than once), that's why I wanted you to get the divorce and move on. Regarding Adriana, I was glad you stuck by her even though she is friendly with Lea. You said she was funny and intelligent, and I agree with you. Marysol's grade for the week: B (I was so happy she spoke up and got all of that off her chest, because bottling it up was not working).

Adriana: I still think you are hilarious, and I don't care what anyone says. I've already explained why you getting so hype doesn't really upset me. I do think it's funny (but then again, that says more about me than it does about you). Let's just say you let Joanna/Hoanna have it. And with good reason! It's not like she's backing down from you at all. I would say, though,  in light of the fact that you're a mother, you should probably not waste your time on going back and forth with her anymore. You've said what you needed to say. You called her out for starting the fight at the lingerie party and for the "slums of Rio" comment. You apologized for the Polish comment - and explained that you were essentially paraphrasing what Joe Francis had said earlier that night. All in all, you put it all out on the table with the one person who you were in a constant battle with all season. So, I can't be mad at that. And I need a "Beat Me to the Tweet" shirt in my life. Just saying. I gotta address you basically staying out of the Lea fight and letting us know that because Lea helped you many moons ago, you're not going to cross her. At least you were up front about it. Adriana's grade for the week: B (she was straightforward and said what she came there to say and I loved it, yes, she was mean to Joanna but ... I'm not worried about Joanna at all).

Joanna: Well, here's where people may bust me for being biased. I just don't like you. Even when you're being halfway sincere, it's just ... annoying. But, that doesn't mean I can't give you credit for not backing down. Just like I told Adriana, you got it all out in the open and you said what you wanted to say. I'm actually ok with that. I think it's great that you recognize the need to cut back on the drinking, especially in social situations with people you don't like. I think that's a universally wonderful idea. Everyone should take that one to heart. I think you should have accepted Adriana's apologies for the Polish comment, seeing as how you essentially said the same thing about the slums of Rio. But, instead, you said Romain was the one that said it first, then added that the slums are too good for Adriana. Come on. Along with the shade there has to be some light. It's called balance. And you missed a great opportunity to accept Adriana's apology and also apologize for what you said. But with you, it seems to be all or nothing. I just don't like that. Joanna's grade for the week: D (she was dishing it out, but I need her to give me some real moments of self-awareness, and she didn't give me anything but anger).

Lisa: I was kind of shocked that you defended yourself very well when Joanna started to go in on you. I loved that you were honest about how you felt about Lea - good and bad. Even though you didn't have a huge role on this part of the reunion, you held your own. Lisa's grade for the week: A (So far, so good - can't wait to see if she'll have more to say on part 2).

Karent: Good for you for standing up for yourself, however, I don't think you understood why the girls disliked you so much in the beginning. You were trying way too hard and it was obnoxious. By the time the season was over, you had pretty much dropped the act, but by then, the damage was done. So, I'm just saying, you can't be surprised that these girls still don't like you. I'm glad you're done with Rodolfo and I'm very very happy that you're dad is doing better. Karent's grade for the week: B (she's doing her best to stay positive even though she still gets static from half the cast).

Lea: First of all, you gotta stop jumping up like a well dressed Jack in the Box toy every time someone says something you don't like. That's number one. Even Andy had to tell you to have a seat. Beyond that, you defended yourself. You do take a lot of pot shots at the ladies, so you knew you were going to have to answer for them now. I think you prepared for this reunion a lot - and maybe had some help with certain lines, because you did sound a little rehearsed at times. The whole 'mean is not the new relevant' line landed like a stone ... sorry. I'm glad you were able to address the fact that you had digs for the ladies all season long. You pretty much laughed it off and said everyone else should, too, and we're just gonna have to agree to disagree on that. I think you should probably sacrifice telling your "jokes" to maybe spare people's feelings once in a while. Let's talk about Ana. I don't know why she's so mad at you but gurl, she was gunning for you the whole time, and your reactions didn't help. If you really wanted to make an impact you should have calmed down and stated your case - while seated - and you definitely shouldn't have shown her that she got to you. Your reactions were so funny, though, seriously. Over the top and dramatic but funny. However, Ana is not the reason why you and Marysol will not see eye to eye. You couldn't see eye to eye last season either. Lea's grade for the week: D (she defended herself but she was overreacting so much that it made me think Ana may have been hitting a little too close to home).

What did you think of this episode? Who's team are you on? Tweet me!