Thursday, December 20, 2012

RHOBH - Careful What You Ask

Happy Thursday, kids! I know this is SO late, but I wanted to hurry up and blog about RHOBH before another week slips by. Thanks again for being so patient with me, by the way. I'm back in the swing of things, and excited to share my opinions about what's been going on with the Beverly Hills ladies.

First, let's talk about these husbands, shall we? I felt so bad for Ken when he went into his surgery, but I was happy to see he made a great recovery - and had a good time bugging Lisa in the meantime. Mauricio's business is a huge success, I mean, some of those numbers he was throwing around blew my mind. That is so great. I know I could never be in real estate, I just don't have the sales gene, but anyone who is in real estate and makes a career out of it has my utmost respect. Congrats, Mauricio! Paul - well, he didn't come off so well these last few episodes. From back hair to calling Brandi a bitch at Mauricio's event, let's just say this isn't exactly Paul's finest hour.

For the record, this blog will cover the last three episodes (Episode 5, 6, and 7). So, I wanted to touch on the rest of the girls' Ojai trip before we get into the grades. Can I just say, that whole spa towel fight would have driven me crazy. I know that would have pissed me off if I was there. I get it, they were being playful and it was all in good fun. But if we're having a spa day (and this is just me), I want a friggin' spa day. We can play Capture the Flag later. I was so happy that the trip ended on a positive note and the only negativity after the Shut-the-Fuck-Up incident was on the party bus ride back to Beverly Hills. Otherwise, the drunken arm wrestling matches and gymnastics were pretty harmless - except to Yolanda's sleep that night. That would have pissed me off, too. Aren't they in a huge mansion? Why the hell couldn't they have partied in some other wing of the place? They have to do it directly above Yolanda's room? I don't understand ...

I also want to welcome Marissa Zanuck to the mix!!! I really like her!

I was going to grade Faye along with Kyle, but I want to keep Faye separate. Um, Faye, sweetheart, you went to Kyle's dinner knowing exactly what you were going to say to Brandi. Let's get that out of the way first. Now, I'm not saying you were wrong with anything you said to Brandi - but it wasn't your place to come out swinging like that. In all honesty, I think Brandi does say outlandish things and exaggerate sometimes. But you weren't at the tasting, and you weren't in on any of the conversations Brandi had with Adrienne that lead to all this. You really are just guessing and speculating. So, this is all your perception of Brandi. Which is fine, but you can't sit there and judge her when you don't really know her and you haven't really ever had interactions with her for yourself. You're taking other people's word for it, and while you say you know Adrienne and she's not a liar, that's just your experience with her. Brandi seems to have a different experience. Lisa has a different experience. But you are right, Brandi is probably going to talk about you because you've now inserted yourself in a situation that had nothing to do with you. So, congrats, I guess? Oh, and I almost died when you said "send an orchid". Bitch, really?! LOL!

Alright, now let's get down to brass tacks. I'm going in order of least controversy to most, so the first few grades are going to be pretty self-explanatory.

Yolanda: I loved seeing your playful and competitive side in Ojai, and I'm completely in awe of your healthy routine. Yeah, I woke up at 5:30 am to watch RHOBH when I should have been working out. I am a mess. Back to you. It was hilarious when you told the ladies at the table to talk like normal women - um, newsflash, this is normal to them. And we finally got to hear you say that there's nothing more classless than a drunk woman, or something to that effect. Um, bingo! LOL! You do realize you're on a Housewives franchise, right? You'd lose your shit if you were on RHOOC, just saying. We didn't see much of you on Episode 7, except for more working out - so, kudos to you, and I still really enjoy you on this show. I want you to keep giving us that playful, competitive edge so you don't become the one on the sidelines. Yolanda's grade for the week: A (she's shaming me into wanting to work out, that's a big deal).

Camille: I am so glad we finally got to see your boyfriend! But again, we do not need to hear about how he stacks up against your ex. In any way, shape, or form. It's annoying. Anyway, you were there for Kim and Kyle after Paul and Adrienne confronted Brandi at Mauricio's event, but you really didn't take a definitive side. You seemed to be letting Kim vent to you - maybe to be a buffer for her and avoid her having to face Brandi? That's just what I'm thinking you were doing. In fact, you were pretty close with Kim in Ojai, too. It was also interesting to see your reaction to Taylor comparing that situation to what happened between you two last season. I would've laughed in her face, but you were very polite about it. And I appreciated the fact that you talked about your surrogacy experience and how you can't really relate to some of the ladies on that front. Camille's grade for the week: B (no more ex talk, let's focus on that hot Greek piece!).

Taylor: Despite your best efforts, you really didn't piss me off that much over these last three episodes. I mean, you really tried it when you were "meditating" at the dinner table when Brandi announced her book deal. Two words: passive aggressive. Oh, and seriously, her divorce and your situation are two totally different things - and your book was out immediately after we learned about your late husband's suicide. You have to recognize that there is a difference there. Brandi did criticize you about it, and you took SO much offense to that, but it's ok for you to turn around and do it to her? Sounds like a hypocrite to me. Anyway, you got over it pretty fast because next thing you know it's a slumber party and you and Brandi are buddy buddy. Not sure what changed but hey, I'm fine with it. Cut to Mauricio's business event and Paul confronting Brandi. Now, hun, you know you tried it. You wanted some attention so you got all upset and flustered. I get that it was an ugly scene but you were very much trying to get the spotlight on you - not to mention you had to tell Camille that this group likes to bring up private issues in public - referencing the whole intervention the ladies had with you last season. Here's the difference. That was a private meeting of all you ladies because you were in a bad place and Camille was the only one who had the balls to come out and say what everyone already knew and what you wouldn't admit to on camera. What Paul did was at a public social event for someone's business. Again, two totally different things. I think you just like to compare everything to your own experiences because it's a chance to talk about yourself. Narcissistic much? I did appreciate you asking Brandi if she was ok after Paul left, though. That was nice of you. Taylor's grade for the week: C (because she does bring everything back to her, but at this point it's harmless).

Lisa: I don't know about anyone else, but I don't have a problem with you defending Brandi. I think you are a motherly figure to her - for example, at Shut-the-Fuck-Up-Gate, you told Brandi to apologize over and over again. I think you see something in Brandi that most people don't, and regardless of what anyone else thinks about it, you two have become close and you're going to defend her when you see fit. I don't have any issue with that. It will get you into trouble with the other ladies, but I'm sure you don't care. I'm so glad Ken is ok after his surgery and the scenes with you having to cater to him were hilarious. I love how you and Ken are with each other - the love is so easy going. There's no forcing it or anything. Which I find really comforting. I thought it was very smart of you to tell Scheana that she could not stay to talk to Brandi. No good would have come out of Brandi showing up to your house and having Scheana standing there. It would have appeared that you orchestrated it, so good for you for telling her to leave. The tasting looked like a dream. It was so beautiful and the food looked amazing. I wish you would have told Brandi to put a cork in it when she went on her Adrienne rant, but then again, maybe you did and we just didn't see it. The way it was edited made it seem like Brandi had the floor and no one told her to stop. So, that's all we have to go on - what we see on the show. As for Kyle's dinner party, I understood what you were trying to say. Kyle just wouldn't let you say it or finish your thought. That was a little disturbing, and it was even more disturbing when she brought up your problems with Adrienne. I think you handled it well, though. You didn't blow up, you just simply stated that you have moved on from your problem with Adrienne, which you have. Lisa's grade for the week: A (Lisa's been pretty fair with everyone and even though she defends Brandi, she tells her when she's wrong as well).

Kim: You were so great in Ojai, like, really great. I was hoping you would carry that peaceful, cool attitude throughout the season but I guess I was wrong. WTF? Ok, let me back up. I get that you were thrown by Brandi's anti-Adrienne PSA and big secret revelation at Lisa's tasting. I get that you wanted to give Adrienne a heads-up. I totally understand all that. But if you were so concerned, you should have called Adrienne that same day. You don't wait until she and Paul arrive at Mauricio's event and immediately tell her before she's even had a chance to sit down or have a friggin' hors d'oeuvre. That was your bad, Kim. How did you think Paul and Adrienne were going to react? It just blew my mind that you thought that that exact moment was the time and that that exact venue was the place. You clearly didn't think it through. Then, when Kyle tells you the truth, that you were wrong to do that, you snap at her. Really? I really don't care about the whole Vegas thing because whether you did invite Kyle or not - I just really don't care. I think you know that going to Vegas is a bad idea and it's bad for your sobriety but you're going to do it anyway for your son. Who, by the way, probably should have taken your whole just-got-out-of-rehab situation into account before inviting you to Vegas. Just saying. Kim's grade for the week: F (I gotta give her an F, not the time or the place, and she was so wrong to think otherwise).

Kyle: I would have been just as pissed at Kim if I were you, so I'm with you there. That's that. I'm so happy that Mauricio's doing so well. That's awesome. And I'm not mad at your daughter's new car! A Mercedes at 16 ... must be nice. But I'm not mad! LOL! You had a lot of fun in Ojai and I was happy for that, but you really gave Lisa the business for defending Lisa. Which we now know is going to be a trend with you. At the tasting, you were the one who asked Brandi what her problem was with Adrienne. So, some might say that you lit the match on that one (cough cough Kim cough cough). I don't really know what possessed you to ask Brandi that, especially if you don't want to keep the drama going. Were you asking for your own personal knowledge or was it for the cameras? I understand that when you're on a reality show, sometimes you have to discuss things on camera to facilitate the storyline at the time. It's not exactly stirring the pot, but it's just getting the conversation to go to the issue at hand. I have no problem with that if that was your intention. However, Kim is right, we all know that Brandi will say what's on her mind if you ask her. And you asked, and she told - more than anyone ever thought she would. It's definitely not your fault that she said what she said, but some would ask why you even brought it up in the first place. Moving on to your dinner party, I said before that I found it disturbing that you would bring up Lisa's problems with Adrienne. I mean, of all the things to bring up at that point. I just think it would have been better to drop the whole Adrienne topic in general. Obviously, Lisa is defending Brandi because she sees some merit in Brandi, and for some reason, that burns you up. Then, Faye gets involved, partly because you fed her your perception of the story beforehand. It's a lose-lose situation you've created. I'm glad Adrienne didn't show up to the party, but she might as well have been there because she was all over that conversation - and for no reason, really. People who like her, like her and those that don't, don't. No one is changing anyone's mind about her. But, it was disheartening to see you shut Lisa down the moment she wasn't going to chastise Brandi along with you and Faye. And it just seemed so unnecessary. Again, I don't care about the whole Vegas thing because you wouldn't have gone anyway, and if you had, you would've complained the whole time. Kyle's grade for the week: D (I don't know why she's fanning the flames between Adrienne and Brandi, or why she's so worried about Lisa defending Brandi, but it doesn't look good at all).

Adrienne: I don't know what your secret is and I don't want to know. All I need to know is what I saw - your reaction. It could have been the reaction of someone who has just been lied about or the reaction of someone who has something to hide. You tell me. It was interesting that you immediately started accusing Brandi of being a bad mother, a drug addict, and sleeping until 3 pm. Don't you think that's a little telling? Kind of like you were trying to get the spotlight off of you? We'll come back to this later. I think you were trying to draw attention to Kim at the restaurant in Ojai - I think you were signaling the other ladies to attack Brandi for making Kim cry - which was your perception of what was going on. But it backfired. I think you were enjoying Taylor's meditation bullshit at that same dinner because you wanted everyone to see Brandi as this annoying person who warranted someone having to meditate to deal with her. Did that make sense? I hope so. Anyway, I also feel that you brought up your book deal to try to one up Brandi - that's how it sounded to me. Let's go back to Mauricio's event. Now, when Kim told you and Paul what Brandi said, you both had two choices. Make a scene or don't make a scene. I think you didn't want to make a scene at first because you were laughing it off. Paul was the one who said, within Brandi's earshot, "that bitch" on purpose so she would hear. Paul was the one who set that whole fight in motion with his reaction. I don't know what Brandi said, and I don't care - Paul wanted to make a scene. I honestly don't think you wanted to, until Brandi and Paul were already screaming at each other. I totally understand you stepping in at that point, of course, because that's your husband. Where it falls apart for you, in my opinion, is when you make all these allegations against Brandi in the middle of this heated argument (about her telling this lie/secret/whatever). Isn't the "crime" here that she is accusing you of something? So your response is to accuse her of something worse and then say you're going to sue her? All I know is, your response seemed to be one of someone who has something to hide. That's all. Adrienne's grade for the week: D (I can't make heads or tails of this whole secret thing, but her reaction spoke volumes and she had been gunning for Brandi for quite some time).

Brandi: Well, you've certainly become the centerpiece of the show, haven't you! Not that it's all wine and roses, but hey, you are the hot topic. Now, I will say you should definitely have not used the F word in Shut-the-Fuck-Up-Gate. We all agree on that. You apologized and it seemed to be over. On the bus ride back to Beverly Hills, you were smart to not tell the group all the details about why you were upset with Adrienne. And I can't for the life of me remember who asked you about your issue with Adrienne? Was it Kyle? Honestly, someone tell me because I can't remember. Anyway, you held your tongue at that moment. At the tasting, though, you let it fly. I just want to know if your tirade was worthy of the hilarious fade in/fade out treatment that the Bravo editors gave it. How long was it? 10 minutes? 20? Just asking. Anyway, you said what you said and you felt like it was justified in order to prove that Adrienne is a liar. You asked about her birth experiences in Ojai and for some reason, it made it into the show. Was it just so Camille could tell us about how she can't relate because she had a surrogate? Or does that have something to do with this lie/secret/whatever? There's theories and rumors about what it is but I'll wait and see what ends up coming out on the show. At Mauricio's event, you really were a sitting duck. I think you could see the storm brewing and were absolutely powerless to stop it. Kim was spilling the beans right in front of your eyes. And you reacted to Paul's reaction. That's what happened. You took Paul's (and then Adrienne's) attacks for exactly what they were. I have to say, you could have done a lot worse. You ended up having a verbal altercation and yes, it was embarrassing. But you didn't call them out when Paul was in your face. You said "you don't want to know", which, to me, showed at least a shred of restraint on your part. And Taylor was nice enough to ask if you were ok, so there was another unexpected surprise. At Kyle's dinner party, again, you were asked about the whole Adrienne situation and you answered. Of course, Faye had to give you her analysis, which I'm sure you didn't appreciate. It was unsolicited and unnecessary! I thought it was interesting that you talked about Adrienne wanting you to take her side at last season's reunion. That does sound accurate based on what ended up happening. I truly want to know what Paul and Adrienne have done to you besides ask you to do things and say things for them. Have they threatened you? We saw the article they allegedly put out about you after Mauricio's event. But I just want to know if there's anything else that would make you so furious that you would go after them so vehemently. You were right to tell Faye that it was none of her business, by the way. You're right, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone, but you have opened the door with everything you're saying about Adrienne. So now, you are subject to the same kind of scrutiny you're putting her through. What's good for the goose and all that ... I'm anxious to see how this all plays out. Brandi's grade for the week: C (she's gotta make sure this secret/lie thing is big enough to justify all this drama she's creating but I think she definitely knows something).

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