Monday, December 17, 2012

RHOA - Angst, Anguish, and Anguilla

Hello again, kids! I'm all caught up on RHOA and I have A LOT to say. But first, let me just clarify that although I watched the last three episodes of RHOA, I'll mostly just cover what happened in last night's episode, just because that's where we're at in the season. So I won't be getting into too much of what happened in the other two episodes, with the exception of Kim's exit. I will be going deep about that.

So let's get started!

Kim: Your exit was welcomed, expected, and overdue. I could not believe you sat there at that table and made up lie after lie after lie just to finally quit the show. For that, you should have just walked in, said, "I'm not going on the trip" and walked back out again. You straight up said Kroy was going with you to Anguilla and then ten seconds later, said you were not going to Anguilla after all. And I have to call you out on something. You kept saying in interviews that the reason you left the show was that the ladies were being violent towards you and you couldn't stay on a show like that. NO ONE was being violent or threatening you in the slightest. So, what exactly are you talking about? Lies! You don't want to be on this show anymore. You want your spinoff (which you have, God knows why) and you want to leave RHOA behind. Great! Good for you! But here's the problem. You think you're going to have spinoff success (a la Bethenny) but I honestly do not see that happening. I don't see you as a Bethenny type of personality - besides the fact that she's at least likable to most of the viewers. Sure, your spinoff has a following, but it will not last. Mark my words. You alienating the RHOA cast will be the worst decision you ever made - for your career. Believe it or not, you will need those contacts someday. I'm glad you're off the show and I never have to watch you and your stank attitude ever again. Kim's grade for the week: A+ (for leaving the show, of course!)

Porsha: I am still liking you a lot. You really are just a normal, sweet girl. I'll forgive you for the 265 days a year thing because I think you were starstruck with Nene and Cynthia. I think that was all nerves but it was funny. It's not a crime to be a little ditsy, anyway. I give you major credit for letting Cynthia know about Kenya dropping it in front of Peter (and yes, she did shake it, but you kept that part to yourself). I feel like you had Cynthia's back on that. As for your blow up with Kenya - you did get heated when you were explaining the whole charity event incident to Nene. I think that's what got Kenya all fired up. Then, when Kenya was taken away from you, you went after her and started it up again. You should have just went to your villa and left Kenya alone. You going after her was a mistake. Oh, and he was Filipino, not Chinese. Porsha's grade for the week: C (she kept the fight going and that was unnecessary).

Nene: You gave me EVERYTHING these last few episodes. This is the Nene we love. You raised your voice for just a moment at Kim and then composed yourself just in time to see her flee the scene. She knew you were about to let her have it and she just couldn't take it. I loved you and Greg together in Anguilla, and I think you two are definitely falling back in love with each other. Yay! You were hilarious calling Kenya out on her shenanigans, too, by the way. I just love that you're giving us COMEDY now. And you stepped in and tried to keep Kenya and Porsha from physically fighting with each other, so I give you credit for that, too. Nene's grade for the week: A (for making me laugh again).

Kandi: I have a major bone to pick with you. Why on Earth would you invite Kenya to that brunch knowing this was Peter and Cynthia's trip? It wasn't up to you to invite anyone else, unless you talked to Peter and Cynthia first. Or maybe someone (cough cough producers cough cough) put you up to it? Anyway, I really like you and Todd together and you seemed like you were having a great time in Anguilla. I don't think the little hot air balloon not taking off on the beach was an omen at all, by the way. You and Todd have great chemistry. Kandi's grade for the week: B (because bringing Kenya to the brunch so she could invite herself on the trip was wrong as hell).

Phaedra: I have to give you a lot of credit. You made sure EVERYONE knew you were NOT having Kenya's bullshit. And I don't blame you! You made it clear that her antics were not appreciated, so hopefully she respects that and leaves Apollo alone. Now, it's also a little bit on Apollo, too, because he did not have to engage in the flirtation with her. He could have been polite and quiet with her, not participate in all that pool play. That was totally unnecessary and I'm sure you told him so. Keep putting Kenya in her place! And I am so happy you 'fessed up to Cynthia and apologized. Well done. Phaedra's grade for the week: A (I am loving Phaedra right now).

Cynthia: I'll say it again, you are my GIRL right now! I am really enjoying you this season. You're having fun but also giving the drama without being out of control. You were irritated with Kenya's little stunt (dancing with Peter) but you let it go for the sake of the trip, and you recognized everyone was in the party mood and it may not have been malicious. But you're keeping your eye on her and with good reason. The vow renewal was beautiful! It is so nice to see you and Peter being lovey dovey and so into each other. Congratulations on the renewal of your vows! Cynthia's grade for the week: A (for spicing it up this season!).

Kenya: Gurl. You are out of control. And not in a good way. Now that we know Walter was playing the role of your boyfriend to give you a storyline on this show, all of the foolishness you're giving us is just sad. We can't even laugh at you because what you did to be on this show was so desperate and unnecessary. If you're that successful, why even bother lying about your relationship status? You should have been the single one on the show! There is nothing wrong with that, and it would have given us some variety since all the ladies are now either married or in serious relationships. You are so dumb for this, Kenya. Really. But let's talk about all the ho shit - I mean, flirting you did in the last three episodes. First of all, the flirting is a real turn off. You're talking to a married man in front of his wife and your "boyfriend" like there's no one else around. See? This is why you can't be trusted. If you do this shit when people are around, what are you capable of when there's no one watching? Then the pool thing. Stupid and made you look so common. Like a trashy, common slut. Then dropping it in front of Peter. You are lucky Cynthia didn't see it. Then, you verbally accosted the nice Filipino man and practically threw yourself at him. Not cute. Walter was right to ask you if you took your meds. Which reminds me, you weren't even supposed to be on this trip, and you have the balls to complain about your room?? I can't. I just can't. Now, let's just touch on you acting like Nene isn't totally right about you and Walter. You're caught. Deal with it. As for your fight with Porsha, you really must have been drunk to take what she said and turn it into a screaming match. Yes, she was explaining her side of the story so it was favoring her. But you could have easily stated your case and done it in a classy way, since you say you're so classy and educated. You showed your true colors, Kenya. You're desperate for attention on a reality show and you'll make a fool out of yourself to get it. Kenya's grade for the week: F (for being fake, phony, desperate, and for being a liar).

What did you think of RHOA? Tweet me!