Wednesday, October 10, 2012

An Open Letter to Teresa Giudice

Dear Teresa Giudice,

I would like to first congratulate you on all your success, both on Real Housewives of New Jersey and your other business ventures. I admire your entrepreneurship and determination, as well as your ability to persevere through difficult times. On Seasons 1 and 2 of RHONJ, I was a fan of yours and thought you were funny and sweet. With some attitude, which I always enjoy.

However, things started to change when your family members came on the show on Season 3. Your demeanor and attitude changed, but not in a good way. You were visibly upset at the fact that your sister-in-law and cousin had joined the show, and on Parts 1 and 2 of the Season 4 Reunion, you explained that you saw it as an attack on you. Your stance is that they came on the show to destroy you. 

I understand where you're coming from. This is your perception of what happened. And that's fine. My question to you is, do you think you could have handled it differently? I believe you could have. But that's just my opinion.

The reality is, Season 3 and 4 were filled with arguments and fights, with only very few moments of peace interspersed throughout. And now, here we are, at the end of Season 4, and the Reunion episodes are airing. After the first part of the Reunion aired, your blog was the typical your-side-of-the-story blog, which I, as a viewer, enjoy. I happen to want to know what you think of how the episode was edited, what made it on air,  and any explanations you can give for your words and actions. That kind of explanation helps me, as a viewer, to understand your behavior on the show.

After the second part of the Reunion aired, you decided to post tweets and pictures with your captions on them. In your words: "So I went through my Twitter timeline and pulled out the comments that best say what I would say." Therefore, I have to assume that you agree with every single tweet that you quoted. 

Here's where we have a problem. I have been blogging (and tweeting) for weeks (possibly months), that you need a new PR team. You need better communication skills. Hell, I even volunteered to help you. Because your way of constantly blaming everyone else for your behavior is appalling. When you were on Anderson Cooper, you said you called Caroline fat (the infamous "blubber" comment) because she attacked you first. He told you, in so many words, that you were behaving like a 12 year old. He was absolutely right. However, because he realized that he came across as rude, he apologized to you.

Which brings me back to your blog. You didn't explain why you got on your knees in the middle of the set and prostrated about not being friends with Caroline and Jacqueline any more. You didn't explain why you accepted Kathy's apology. You didn't explain whether Jacqueline was telling the truth about your husband and your marriage. You didn't explain why you believe your husband was speaking to a coworker on the phone in Napa. You didn't explain anything. You merely regurgitated what your fans were saying on Twitter. And while that's a nice sentiment (giving your fans a voice on your blog is awesome), you just took everyone's attention elsewhere. 

I believe you posted that blog with the intention of changing the subject. Almost as if quoting your fans will make us forget what actually happened on Part 2 of the Reunion. If this is how you choose to give your side of the story, you can keep it. When I read someone's blog about a reunion show, I want to know what they were thinking and feeling on that reunion show. Not their fans' tweets. With all due respect, that's why I have a Twitter account and follow many different people - Teresa fans, Jacqueline fans, Caroline fans, Kathy fans, and Melissa fans. In all honesty, I had read almost all of those tweets before you posted your blog. 

That blog just proved to me how important it is for you to not have to answer for your behavior - good or bad. You showed me with that blog that you will pretty much do and say whatever you want and if you don't feel like taking responsibility for it that day, you won't. You don't take into consideration how arrogant that makes you look. You have become a caricature and a shadow of the funny, sweet Teresa we met in Season 1. Just think, if you had explained, or even just vented, about what happened on that episode of the Reunion, we would have your side of the story. Did you even watch the episode? If not, then I could maybe understand. But if you did watch, why would you not want to explain yourself? Are you above that?

I understand, you've been through a lot. And you've done an amazing job of making money for your family in the midst of a financial crisis. And as I said before, I respect you for that. But you have to wake up and realize that this new persona will destroy all of your success. Being the mean girl is only cute for so long. Ask Jill Zarin. 

I am only one person, and I only speak for myself. You have disappointed me as viewer, not with your behavior, but with your refusal to own up to it and take responsibility for it. I wanted an explanation from you about the Reunion, and now, I could not care less. I hope you achieve everything you want out of life and I hope you are successful in every business venture you embark upon. But I will not watch another television show that features you after Part 3 of the Reunion airs (I mean, come on, I have to watch Part 3). But in all seriousness, I cannot watch you continue to have blinders on when it comes to your own actions. 

I offered my help before, but I am now withdrawing that offer. I believe you are happy with your behavior and you will continue on this path for as long as it's convenient. One final word of advice: watch Iyanla Van Zant's show on OWN, she's amazing. You can learn a lot from her.

Best of luck to you.