Friday, July 13, 2012

Feel Her Hair!

Part 1 of the Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion was SPEC-F*CKING-TACULAR. I am so glad this reunion is as dramatic and loud as it is. I needed this!!! And let's just say the birds weren't the only ones launching attacks on the set (which were hilarious), each of the ladies got to fire their missiles at each other. The main targets were on the same couch, coincidentally, Vicki and Alexis. No surprise there. It is kind of sad that Tamra and Vicki hate each other now, but isn't that the way it always goes? You can only team up against other people for so long until you turn on each other. Any Housewives/Basketball Wives/Mob Wives watcher knows this. So let's jump in, oh and make sure to tease your weave and gloss your lip implants!

Alexis: Here's the thing. You know you're fake. Just like you know you say words incorrectly, you know how you behave. Just own it! Be that bitch, and say, "Yes, I like talking about my things and I do think I'm the sh*t." Then, at least, people could say you're real about it. But you want to have it both ways, and it doesn't work. And I don't doubt for one second that you are rude to the crew and to anyone else you consider beneath you. I found it very telling that you would "out" Gretchen's weave and lip injections just to make yourself look more real. Gretchen never outed you on anything - she pointed out things that people were already saying about you. You need to get yourself together, Alexis. You are in desperate need of a reality check and I'm here to give it to you (not that you'll listen). Stop trying to play like you're not a bitch who's full of herself. Because you are. The worst part is how childish you are about it: "Don't call me fake! Look! She has hair extensions and she's been lying about it!" Please. That's not the kind of fake we're talking about. Although that was good shade. I'll give you credit for that. Alexis' grade for the week: D- (she gets credit for the shade, but that's it!)

Heather: You are my friggin' hero this week! You got Alexis together! I agreed with everything you said and you said it perfectly. We all heard you, too bad Alexis didn't. You tried with her multiple times. You did your part. Now, it is what it is. I hope the other Housewives are taking notes. You were prepared, you were eloquent, you were logical. THIS is how you do it, ladies. I can't imagine anyone being able to find a flaw in your arguments. For those who say you were being mean, I don't think so at all. You have to state your case and get your points out there and that's exactly what you did. I thought you did great on this part of the reunion. Can't wait for next week. Heather's grade for the week: A+ (Awesome job!)

Vicki: I have to say I do feel sorry for you - not because you're a victim, but because you're on the receiving end of what you used to dish out to other people. The fact is: you had no problem judging others and putting others down. That's the truth. It sucks that your former BFF is now judging you and putting you down. It really does. And I'm not even saying it's right. But you do have to admit that what goes around comes around. If you would just say, "I treated people badly in the past and now I know how it feels", I guarantee you people would lay off. I swear. But, you get more and more defensive and try to minimize what you used to do. But we remember! Gretchen remembers! You were not nice to her! Now, I give you credit for telling Brooks to pay his child support, but that's no different than what Gretchen was/is doing with Slade. YOU and TAMRA both accused Gretchen of supporting Slade's decision not to pay child support, which we now know is false. But to hear you tell it, you're in a totally different boat. And you're not. I can't wait to see Briana on the show next week, and I hope you listen to what she has to say. She's your daughter, for crying out loud! Vicki's grade for the week: F (because what goes around, comes around, unfortunately for Vicki).

Gretchen: Thank you for trying to be the voice of reason on this first part of the reunion. Too bad it didn't really work out. But you tried! I agreed with pretty much everything you said, especially what you said to Alexis. And gurl, that was not right of her to throw you under the bus about your weave and lip injections! I thought Andy was going to jump up and feel them both! You really handled it well, though. You really didn't get mad about it, which was the best thing because Alexis just wanted a reaction. My only question is, why not tell us about the extensions/injections in the first place? That I just don't understand. We wouldn't have judged you for it, you know. I'm just curious as to why you didn't want to share it, that's all. Gretchen's grade for the week: C (for giving us straight talk, but what's with hiding the enhancements from us?)

Tamra: I, personally, don't think your hair was that heinous, but hey, I like big hair. Now that we've settled that, let's talk about your performance on part 1 of the reunion. I was glad to hear you say you missed Vicki. I know you do. I think you're just not willing to have the same type of friendship with her anymore. Where you both just hate on people. You have a different life now. My advice to you now is to drop the whole Brooks thing. If you keep going after Vicki, you're going to look majorly crazy. You have to let it go and wish her well. That's the only way to keep your sanity at this point. Look at how you've had to apologize to Jeanna and Gretchen for going after them in the past! Stop the cycle! Just realize that while you may be outraged about something that someone else is doing, it's their life. Focus on yours. Hopefully, Vicki will learn her lesson and you two can build your friendship back up again. I am glad you and Gretchen are still cool. It shows you can put the past behind you. Tamra's grade for the week: C (because she's right about Vicki, but she doesn't need to go after her so hard).

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