Monday, August 15, 2011

Reality Check, Please!

Good Afternoon, friends! I'm so happy to blog about last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey, believe me, I have A LOT to say about it.

First up: Teresa's "Fabulicious" photo shoot. Am I the only one who felt instantly stressed out watching this scene? To borrow a line from Andy Cohen: Here's what. I think Teresa's kids are beyond stressed. You can see the tension on their faces. I can only assume that they must hear/see/feel the tension that's going on with their parents' financial situation. Kids know what's going on, even if it looks like they don't. And even if they don't know the cause of the uncomfortableness, they feel it, and they begin to act out as a result. Exhibit A: Milania. Teresa tries to give a heartfelt thank you speech, but oozes stress. I think she's beyond overwhelmed, and probably barely holding it together. If I were her, I'd drop the feuds and pick up some therapy sessions, and maybe some time away from her husband. He isn't exactly a calming influence, let's just put it that way.

Kathy and Richie have a talk about having "the talk" with their daughter Victoria. Richie seems to think there's plenty of time for that, but Kathy knows better. The time is now, Rich. Victoria is a beautiful girl and guys are going to be lining up to ask her out soon. Come on, you don't want to have to rough them up like you did the perv at the New Year's party, right? Better she talks to her mom and keeps that great communication going.

We then catch up with Chris Manzo, who's bartending in Hoboken. I love that! This is the same kid who wanted to open a strip club/car wash. He's definitely a hard worker and I commend him for doing what he has to do to keep Toy Story on his On Demand. Good guy. I have a couple questions, though. Why is Ashley there? In a bar? When she's 20? Unless it's a bar and grill, she shouldn't be there. Maybe I missed something. Anyway, Ashley's dad and stepmom show up at the bar and surprise Ashley. She looks genuinely happy to see them as opposed to her usual bored reaction to everything. (Please tell me I wasn't like this when I was 20.) Ashley's handsome dad Matt says they need to talk and Ashley says she's worried. Really? Maybe he should show up more often!

Next scene is Melissa talking to her sisters, who look like identical twins. She tells them about the playdate with Teresa and all of Teresa's digs at her. I totally understand Melissa's frustration. The least Teresa can do is TRY to be nice and not insult the person who's obviously trying to make the situation better. Melissa can be annoying, but I don't think she's a mean or bad person. When she speaks to Teresa, you can tell she's thinking before she speaks, which is more than we can say for Teresa, who pretty much blurts out whatever she's thinking. And with Melissa, it's usually rude.

Now we're with Caroline and Lauren talking about weight and self esteem. Lauren seems to think she'll never like her appearance even if she does lose weight. Come on, girl, give yourself a chance! We all have body image issues, but when we stop obsessing and stop comparing ourselves to other people, it's a whole new ball game. Let yourself off the hook and quit putting yourself down. Lauren is a beautiful girl with a personality to match. She needs to see that and be proud of it.

Over at Jacqueline's house, Ashley tells her mom she wants to move to California. I say GO! GO RIGHT NOW! Do you need help packing?! Sorry, I got excited. Ashley (I refuse to spell her name Ashlee since that's not her name and it reminds me of a certain Simpson sister), says she needs to go to California and focus on herself and get away from toxic people. Um, first of all, all she seems to do is focus on herself. And second, who exactly is she calling toxic? She better be talking about her friends because I don't see one person in her family who could be described as "toxic". Especially not Jacqueline.

Kathy and Victoria go prom dress shopping and Kathy takes the opportunity to have a little talk with Victoria. I think it was an appropriate conversation for where they were (in public) and Kathy was very calm and open with her daughter. I love how she interacts with her kids. Victoria was a little shy and embarassed, but that's normal for a 16 year old. She showed her mother respect and love. I love that Victoria says she'll be ok because she has a black belt! That's right, Victoria! Never forget that you are a strong woman and NO means NO. Or else the guy will have to see those karate moves and end up in the ER.

Back at Melissa's, we get to see her record her single "On Display". I'm looking forward to hearing the whole song, because right now I only know the first verse and the chorus. I need to know the rest of the song. Don't ask me why. I just do. The vocals are shaky at first, but Melissa finds her groove and sounds pretty good. I know this is asking for a lot, but could they not autotune her to within an inch of her life on this track? Leave the autotune for Kim Zolciak and Luann De Lessepps, guys. This girl can actually carry a tune.

Lauren, her brothers, Greg, Jacqueline, and Caroline all hit the gym with a hot guido kickboxing instructor, oh my! I could do without the facial hair stylings he has going on, though. Anyway, they all kick some major booty, with the exception of Caroline who doesn't seem to be as into it. I loved the way she barely kicked the punching bag. So funny to see Caroline not give something her all for once. Jacqueline and Lauren were not playing around, though! Good for them. A good workout buddy is hard to find. Not as hard to find? Greg's balls.

And now the moment we've all been waiting for: Ashley's intervention. And of course, she's late. What did you expect? She probably can sense the lectures coming. Her lazy senses are tingling and she has to drag herself out the door with her Hills inspired outfit - all ready for California, I see. Before Ashley makes an appearance, her four loving parents compare notes on her behavior: underage drinking, partying, no job or money of her own, the list goes on and on. Her dad, who I'm now really liking, says she texted him "I'm moving to California, are you going to pay for it or not?" Wow! Really? When the next Heidi Montag finally shows up, she says she wants to go to beauty school. She says she has the money to go to California but no money for the school. Hmmm, sounds like a problem to me. When her parents calmly tell her that that's not a real plan since she hasn't taken into account certain details, she says they're against her and shooting her down. No, honey, they're not shooting you down. This is a reality check. And if you don't like it coming from people who love you, you're really not gonna like it when it comes from people who don't give a crap about you - aka everyone else in the entire world. Her dads both tell her she needs to act like she gives a sh*t, and I totally agree. This girl seems to think she's above it all. And why does she think that, you ask? Per Ashley, because she's 20 and hasn't had a kid yet. Well. Good for you, Ashley. You managed to not get pregnant/not have a child. Where's the medal? Has the parade been scheduled? Please! Get over yourself! Not having a kid doesn't excuse acting like a complete brat and disrespecting your parents! Jacqueline, understandably, went OFF on Ashley and told her to get out of her house. She then leaves the table and goes to what looks like a downstairs hallway to cry. My heart breaks for Jac. She is truly done with this situation. The best thing to do is let Ashley go. Let her make her mistakes and learn the lessons the hard way. It is what it is. One day, hopefully Ashley will ask for forgiveness for all the pain she's caused her family. Upstairs, Ashley is defending herself by putting her mom down. That's not as effective as she would hope, since both dads and her stepmom tell her it doesn't matter how mad she is at her mom, she still has to respect her. Word. Ashley interviews that since her mom chose to "keep" her, she took on the responsibility of raising her, and she shouldn't blame Ashley for any sacrifices she's made for her. Um, I don't think she does. But it's important to understand that our parents did make sacrifices for us because that should make us APPRECIATE and RESPECT them. A concept that Ashley just doesn't understand. Jacqueline crying made me so sad. I hate that she is in so much pain. I only hope Ashley has learned from this and is currently making better choices.

Do yourself a favor and read Jacqueline's blog on called "An Eye Opener". She makes some really great points about her relationship with Ashley and completely OWNS Teresa for some of the comments Tre made in her last blog. You have to read it yourself . You go, Jacqueline! You are 100% right about Teresa and I hope she owns up to everything you referenced in your blog. #teamjacqueline

Tweet me @humorandspice and let me know how YOU feel!!!