Friday, June 10, 2011

Ya Habi-Get Me Out of Here

Happy Friday!

Who else is glad that Moroccan trip on the Real Housewives of New York is over? Ya Habibi!

This isn't going to be a recap, so if you haven't seen it, you may want to check it out first. I'll just give you some high(crazy)lights.

I can pretty much pick up where I left off with Jill and Ramona last week. Again, when you're not willing to listen or let the other person get a word in edgewise, chances are a reconciliation is not going to happen. I blame both of them. They're so similar, sometimes I feel like they're saying the exact same things about each other. They're too much alike. I'm not surprised they both thought the other was the problem. Then there's the obligatory smack-talking, followed by some consoling from their respective cliques. All par for the course. Until Luann gets involved.

Ya Habibi! Darling! (I refuse to call Luann "The Countess", just so you know.) Luann decides it's a great idea to storm into the room where Ramona is giving Alex and Sonja the deets on the fight with Jill and starts to demand answers from Ramona about why she's causing problems. Ya Habibi! That's right, Luann, how dare Ramona have a fight with Jill and not invite you! Luann always wants to be in the middle of the drama (as long as she's leaning towards Jill). Let's think back to last season when Ramona tried to get Jill and Bethenny to talk out their problems (in New York) and Luann physically escorted Jill out of the building.

I have to digress here and say that Jill's whole beef with Ramona is that she didn't do anything to help Jill make up with Bethenny in St. John and kicked her off the island. But Jill has NO problem with Luann, who throughout that whole season, drove the wedge between Jill and Bethenny further and further apart? No? Just asking.

Let's get off the Luann train and walk to Kellyland. Where the gummy bears always close their eyes and then open them to calm down. Wow. This woman is delusional. If Kelly was in my face screaming at me that I was weird and then telling me to close my eyes, I'd be like, "How about you close your eyes?" And then I'd smack her upside the head. (This blog is for entertainment purposes only and in no way condones or promotes violence against anyone for any reason).

Kelly is one of those people that got older but never grew up. Even when she tells Ramona she's not taking sides, the words come out of her mouth in such a way that you can tell she's just repeating what she heard some grown up say one time. Like I used to do when I was eight. But I was cute. And eight years old. This is an actual adult woman with kids. Oy vey. Ya Habibi!

I gotta give it to Alex, she tries to reason with these women, but unfortunately, you can't reason with an unreasonable person. On the up side, she gave us some amazing facial expressions to enjoy! I especially liked "Exasperated" and "I Cannot Believe I'm Closing My Eyes Because Kelly Told Me To But I'm Going to Do it Anyway Because I Want to Get My Point Across". Am I the only one who thought Alex was going to pass out at some point? Gurl, calm down, you know these ladies are crazy. Just roll with it like Sonja and Cindy do. But keep giving us face, huntee!

I did think it was funny that, while Alex is fighting Luann and Kelly ("You RUINED my TATTOO!!"), Ramona and Sonja are having a grand old time trying on their gowns. Hilarious.

On a lighter note, Jill's curly haired 'do and her self-depracating jokes about it were kind of endearing. She made me laugh in this episode. So that was nice.

All in all, the Moroccan trip was just that. A trip. A sort of funny nightmare with great scenery and Luann almost getting bounced off of a camel. I'll never get enough of that clip. Especially when Andy Cohen plays it in slow motion on Watch What Happens Live.

Speaking of Andy and Watch What Happens Live, Luann and Ana Gasteyer (one of my SNL heroes) were the guests last night. It was a pretty funny show, thanks to Ana. I would kill to see Ana impersonate any of the housewives, but I think she'd do a great Kelly. Then Luann had to make an idiot of herself by telling Ana who she should vote for in the "Weirdest Housewife" poll. No, Luann, Ana MEANT to say Kelly, and that's why she said it. No wonder Cat Ommanney hates your guts. Ya Habibi! (Ok that's the last time, I promise.)

You've gotta check out the ladies' blogs on They're all hilarious, but Alex's made me want to stand up and cheer. She's got these ladies pegged. Ya Habibi!( I couldn't help myself, sorry.)

Until next time! And tweet me @humorandspice!