Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Not So Hot Mess

I don't know about you, but throughout this week's Real Housewives of New York, all I kept thinking was: Whaaaaa????? Seriously, the level of crazy was turned up - all the way up. I want off this friggin' island already, and I wasn't even there. I'm officially never going to St. Bart's - people go bonkers and show you their kookas for no reason. Another theme I'm noticing is: "If it's not my idea, I don't like it and I'm going to throw a fit". And my personal favorite, "If I drink excessively in front of you, don't call me out on it, no matter what." Now, I could end the blog right here, but what's the fun in that?! You know what time it is! Grades time!

Carole: I think you need to wear a sign around your neck that says: "IT'S NOT A GIRLS' TRIP!" Maybe the confusion would die down, no? You were absolutely right when you said that there were other men around - chef, butler, Tomas - and no one had a problem with that, did they? Now, about your breakdown at lunch. It was totally understandable for you to have a moment with all the plane talk. And at first I wasn't surprised no one went to console you, but then Aviva stepped up and you were able to relax with the creepy pedicure fish. As for your conversation with Heather on the beach, I think you handled it perfectly. Of course the trip changed when Aviva and Reid came - because some of the ladies took it upon themselves to get angry and change it. I think you were an awesome host - mani/pedi/massage on the last day on top of the amazing house - I'll go on vacation with you anytime. And I don't blame you for being upset with Ramona and Sonja for not showing up to the concert. They're the ones saying you all have to be together and then they ditch you the night your boyfriend is performing (the whole purpose of the trip)? You were very clear about what the trip entailed and they totally ignored you on that. By dinner, you'd definitely had enough, and it showed. Next time, just take the ladies to dinner and leave it at that. Carole's grade for the week: B (she did her best with this bunch, and no good deed goes unpunished).

Aviva: You were in full-blown ass-kicking mode this episode! And I loved it! I appreciate the fact that you didn't back down, you didn't talk behind anyone's back, and you put it all out there in the open. I really do admire that about you. You said what was on your mind and you were totally right. The trip was all about Ramona and Sonja for Ramona and Sonja. And when you had a difference of opinion with Ramonja, you defended yourself. And when I say you READ Sonja, you read her like a book, cover to cover. And if you know me, you know I love me some good reading. Although, I will say it wasn't a good idea to bring up Sonja's daughter, and I'm glad Sonja let that go. That could have been disastrous. I think we saw that you were up for having fun, just not the kind of drunken idiocy that Ramonja were involved in. Which brings us to the Anna Nicole comparison - I see where you're going with that, but damn, kinda harsh! Anywhoo, I like you and I like that you stuck to your guns the whole time. Aviva's grade for the week: B (for not taking sh*t from any of the ladies).

Heather: I think you were overwhelmed with all the bullsh*t flying around you, because there's no other explanation for you getting so upset about Carole and Aviva's double date. It was towards the end of the trip and I'm sure your nerves were frayed to say the least. I'm glad you and Carole worked it out and instead of throwing a huge fit (it was more of a tiny tantrum), you just went off on your own to calm down. Grown ups do this! Take note, ladies! And thank you for lightening the mood by jumping into the pool. At that point everyone just had to laugh, so thank you for that. Heather's grade for the week: A (for handling her stress like a grown up in the end).

Luann: You've got some nerve saying Aviva likes to talk about herself! Pot, meet kettle. You stayed in the background a lot during the episode, which is fine with me. Luann's grade for the week: C (for not being as self-aware as she should be by now).

Sonja: While I don't think you're exactly Anna Nicole Smith, I have to say I did NOT appreciate having to see your ass hanging out throughout the episode. Good Lord. I agree that Aviva was not spending time with you and the girls, but you have to understand why. Her first night was a nightmare! Of course she's not going to want to be around you and your bosom buddy! Far be it from me to tell a grown ass woman what to do, but you can't fall all over every man you see on this trip and then be surprised that people have something to say about it. I get it. This is how you have fun. Not everyone does that. You and Ramona do that. So now you know, you and Ramona vacation together and that's it. Done. I do like the fact that you stand up for yourself and say what you gotta say, but you have to be a little bit more aware of how you're coming across. The fact is, you had no problem with men being around, in the house, and pardon my language, in you. So, let's be honest. You didn't want Reid around because he's someone's husband and not a boy toy. And I know you thanked Reid and everyone knows you did. No problem there. The problem is you have no limits - and it goes beyond fun and just becomes sad. I'm not sure what you meant when you said Aviva will see where her ass ends up, but we certainly knows where yours does. Sonja's grade for the week: F (for not controlling herself).

Ramona: You've always had a problem with women who bring their husbands along unexpectedly, we get it. I even get that you knew the trip's dynamic would change and you weren't happy about it. However, you and Sonja totally embarrassed yourselves in your quest for "fun". You ladies took a perfectly wonderful vacation (note: vacation, NOT girls gone wild trip), and turned it into a drunken mess. And for you to sit there and say to Aviva that you're never drunk? Please! Maybe your tolerance for Pinot Grigio is so high that you don't think you're drunk, but you are. How could you not be! I have to address the fact that you and Sonja didn't go to the concert, which was so childish and annoying. You both did whatever you wanted the whole trip and you couldn't suck it up and go to the concert for Carole, who had been an amazing hostess? That's so wrong. I will say, at the last dinner you were more together than Sonja but not by much. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for being totally selfish and rude).

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