Friday, February 1, 2013

This Bitch Done Lost It - Nene Leakes - RHOA

First of all, sorry for the delay, kids. Life is trying to drag me down again but I will not be deterred from giving you my blog about RHOA. Now, it may be brief, but I'm gonna tell these ladies what I came to tell them. I have my Mountain Stream white noise on in my earphones so nothing is going to distract me from getting these blogs posted today. Thank you for all your support, by the way. It means more to me than you know.

Let's get right into the drama - Kenya's stunt at the ShoeDazzle event. PRICELESS! FUNNY! But totally unnecessary. I did pause the DVR and laugh my ass off, though. I appreciate absurdity especially in reality tv and that was about as absurd as it gets. Everyone's reactions were hilarious to me, so this episode makes it into my top 10 easily. Thank you, ladies, for the laughs. Now let's hand out some grades.

Kenya: Let's start with your lunch date with Porsha. I think it's telling that you are so worried about what Phaedra is telling Porsha about you - I honestly didn't think Porsha meant that much to you, much less Phaedra. Your real target was Phaedra, so you might as well have had her there, too. But you knew you would be confronting her at Nene's event later, right? The way you spoke to Porsha was pretty shitty, I mean, the girl was letting you know she still had beef with you regardless of anything Phaedra had to say and you dismissed all of that and got rude. No surprise. There is no talking to you, unless of course, it's to tell you you're right. Never gonna happen with Porsha so that's done and done. But the name calling needs to stop. Just saying. You got your revenge with Phaedra and made your point, and while it was funny as hell - I will never say it wasn't funny because it was - it was over the top for sure. You not only made your point, you highlighted it then circled it in red sharpie. We get it, Kenya! But it honestly only made you look crazier. Not the effect you were hoping for. I don't think you're necessarily an alcoholic, I just think you are attention-hungry and possibly in need of anger management. And that's putting it nicely. Kenya's grade for the week: D (she made me laugh but damn, she really let this bullshit get to her and it's not attractive).

Phaedra: So, it's been reported that you really don't know Tyler Perry, but I'm not really shocked that you told another fib. I like you but you do have a way of stretching the truth. Speaking of stretching, your photoshoot for the Donkey Booty DVD was hilarious and very entertaining. And of course, pretty raunchy. I think you ended up with a great cover for it, though. It makes sense that you would shop around for a distribution deal, I just wish you would have made that more clear to Kenya before so we wouldn't have had to endure her wrath. I was proud of you for telling Kenya exactly what you thought of her to her face at the ShoeDazzle event. Regardless of how much she was making fun of you, you stood your ground and said everything to her face. It wasn't worth it to get into who is relevant and who isn't. You two are both on the same show so there's no reason to discuss who's doing who a favor. At this point, you're both in the spotlight so just leave it at that. Phaedra's grade for the week: B (she's more concerned with her business which is how it should be, but she should have spelled everything out for Kenya much sooner and to her face instead of behind her back).

Cynthia: I hate to say it but you pissed me off this week. First, let me congratulate you on the pageant. It's a brilliant idea and I know it'll be super successful. But, why on Earth would you ask Porsha to help you and then do nothing but complain about her? I mean, it's clear you wanted the sponsorship from Porsha's charity, but I'd like to think that wasn't your only motive. Surely you saw something of value in Porsha to ask her to help you out. But the digs you were throwing in your interviews were just not necessary (it's not like she has a job, she's already confused, this isn't dress up, if I wanted a singer I would've asked Kandi). All this leads me to believe you wanted her to be a silent assistant - which you should have made clear to her before she showed up to the venue with you and Cy (who's adorable, by the way). If Porsha isn't bringing anything to the table, let her know and cut her loose. Period. Now, let's talk about the dinner with the girls. Here's where I have an issue with you. YOU ASKED PHAEDRA ABOUT KENYA. Ok? You asked Phaedra about Kenya, then you got so offended when the girls started talking shit about her. WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN??? Stop asking about shit and then complaining when people answer you! The golf date with Kenya was just another opportunity to tell her what the others said about her, which seemed kind of staged to me, but whatever. I still love you, but the comments in your interviews and the going back and forth between Kenya and the other ladies is not going to end well. Just know that now. If you answer for it and own it at the reunion, it'll all be fine. Don't make excuses, just own it and stand behind everything you said. Cynthia's grade for the week: D (she should have just taken Porsha's sponsorship without involving her in the planning of the pageant, and she should not be the middle-man between Kenya and the rest of the cast. That's the worst possible place to be, and she put herself there).

Porsha: I was proud of you for standing up for yourself with Kenya at that almost-lunch you two had. Good for you! It spiraled out of control very quickly but at least you were able to get some funny parting words in (Bye, Ashy!), LOL! You were having lots of fun at the pageant venue with Cynthia, but you gotta remember that it's her event and if she asked you for help, you gotta come through for her. Hopefully you do, because it didn't sound like she had much faith in you. Sorry 'bout it. Now, you know you were saved by the sitar at that restaurant. If you say your voice is a Beyonce/Mary J/Rihanna "congloberation", WE ARE GONNA WANT TO HEAR IT!! You cannot be shy about singing when you bill yourself like that! So, I want to hear you sing and I want to hear it soon. Lastly, your reaction to Kenya's mockery of Phaedra was priceless. Can I get some wine??? YAAASSSS!!!! Porsha's grade for the week: C (she held her own with Kenya but she should have belted for those ladies at dinner!)

Nene: Shout out to Interior Illusions!!! You Drag Race fans know what I'm talking about. You and Gregg were hilarious in the store. Gregg has such an old man sense of humor, I swear. Your acting coach is bad ass! I love her! I'm glad you're taking acting to the next level, and I hope we do see you win some awards in the future! I honestly think it would be so cool for a HW to make it to that point. Your ShoeDazzle event was going great until Kenya busted in (and busted out if you know what I mean), and your reaction gave me my title for this week's blog, so thank you. I hope you took Kenya aside and read her for bringing her shenanigans to your party. Not cool. Nene's grade for the week: A (she's staying busy and keeping her cool despite Kenya's antics).

Kandi: Thank you for once again trying to explain to Kenya why it was wrong of her to go after Phaedra's product. Not that she listened to you, AGAIN. But you tried. As for your comments about Porsha's singing, maybe give her a chance to show you what she can do. I understand why you're skeptical, though. It cracked me up when Bravo showed us that you and Todd had picked Cash for your future son's name - because that's how you pay for everything (bloop!) ... especially because Kim decided to name her son Kash. But hey, there's nothing wrong with two kids having similar names. I LOVED that you and Nene were so friendly at her charity event and that you left the Talls vs. Smalls stuff in the past. It's probably a lot easier to get along with the cast without certain people pulling you towards their side for their own selfish reasons. Kandi's grade for the week: B+ (she is not backing down with Kenya and I love that).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!