Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Turning Point

I was really surprised with the Real Housewives of New Jersey episode on Sunday, because I was all ready to go off on Teresa again. But now, I'm ready to go off on Jacqueline and Caroline, too. I watched the show yesterday and I'm still not sure what the hell happened. All I know is, it sucks to lose a friend. And it's even worse to lose a friend over rumors, gossip, and miscommunication. All of this could have been avoided, but I think the relationships had run their course, and the people involved were all too stubborn to see the other's side. The greatest mediator in the world couldn't have saved that mess of a conversation/confrontation. So let's get this over with. Because frankly, the whole thing just makes me sad.

Caroline: I definitely think you were wrong to barge in on Jacqueline and Teresa's conversation. It wasn't a matter of you bringing over the kids' clothes - you wanted to get in on the action. And even though some feel that Jacqueline told you to come over, I don't think she did. I don't think it was an ambush. I do think it was totally unnecessary for you to come and take over the conversation. You talked over both Jacqueline and Teresa and it was completely uncalled for. No matter what you thought you needed to say to Teresa, it should have been at another time and place. Not then and there. I know why you're frustrated with Teresa, hell, I am! But now, you're looking crazy for butting in and it's not helping your image. Back off! I told you this WEEKS ago. Of course, the show was filmed months and months ago, but still. I called this sh*t. In your blog this week, you kept it cute (and quiet) and I appreciate that. I don't know who's telling you to be quiet, but they're right, and don't stop listening to them. This isn't your deal anymore. Caroline's grade for the week: F (for getting in a conversation that had nothing to do with her).

Jacqueline: I really like you as a person, but you annoyed the hell out of me this week. You could have articulated your points with Teresa so much better! What happened? Were you just so angry that you couldn't control your approach with her? No judgment, it's happened to me, too. I'm just saying. You really could have handled it better. Knowing that you were on the brink of a breakdown explains a lot. And next week, we get to see it. I'm not looking forward to it. To me, this is all so sad. I believe you when you said in your blog that you didn't know what to believe anymore. But just like you wanted Teresa to be straight with you, you should have been straight with her from the beginning of the conversation. You did beat around the bush a lot at first. Then when you finally did make your points, Teresa was too angry to even hear them. And then, the infamous "let it go" moment regarding Danielle. I understood what you meant. If Teresa was really willing to fix things, she shouldn't have dignified Danielle's claims with a response. However, I'm pretty sure that if you were in her place, you would have responded too. And the problem was, you all were filming this season while last season aired. Note to Bravo: Don't ever do that again!!! (Makenzie Myers voice). But seriously, this was too much for you - between Caroline hating Teresa and Teresa flitting around like everything was fabulous and the magazines with HER face on them with QUOTES from HER ... no wonder you cracked. I honestly think you had reasons to be upset, it was your delivery that was off. If you had sat down with Teresa and asked her point blank if certain things were true or not, you could have then said "yes, I believe you" or "no, I don't". And when Caroline came over, you should have told her to go home. She didn't let you get a word in, and it just made you even more mad. Jacqueline's grade for the week: F (for botching the conversation).

Teresa: I read your blog, and while I do not agree with everything you wrote, I do have to say that you made a couple of good points. The whole Danielle thing is a huge mess - and I can understand why you were confused by what Jacqueline was trying to say. The thing is, you are terrible at interpersonal communication. You don't listen. Well, you only half-listen. You half-listen and then you react, which is great for reality tv, but it sucks in real life. And since you and Jacqueline were real life friends, it's really sad to see you two go at it. I'm glad you didn't flip the table on Caroline and Jacqueline and with the exception of the "friggin' jealousy" tirade, you actually weren't as off the chain as I thought you'd be. My advice to you is the same - learn how to communicate effectively, which includes listening. If you would have listened, you would have realized that Jacqueline was confused about how you were doing because of the magazines that YOU POSED FOR and GAVE INTERVIEWS TO. Then, she mentioned that you were upset with Melissa for talking to Danielle about you, and pointed out that you recently communicated with Danielle as well. And, it was a valid point. Why is it ok for you to contact Danielle? I'm not saying you did the same thing as Melissa. Far from it. But you should have focused on the real issue. You want things to get better, but until you take the time to see things from the other perspective, you're going to be constantly on the defensive. And that's not working out for you. Teresa's grade for the week: F (for not communicating effectively).

Melissa: I don't know what to believe, but if you really did conspire against Teresa with Danielle, I'm sure the proof is out there. I hope you are the level-headed person we see on the show, but I have a bad feeling that you're not totally innocent here. This show is getting uglier and uglier by the episode, so if you value the court of public opinion at all, you should lay the cards out on the table as soon as possible. Just tell the audience the truth and we'll respect you for it. Melissa's grade for the week: N/A (because I have too many doubts, but not enough proof).

Kathy: I understand why you're upset about the magazines, but Melissa was right to tell you to talk to Teresa personally. It is the best way to clear the air. And I think you can have a civil conversation with her (you did at the end of last season), but you just have to approach her in the right way. I know it sucks to have to worry about how she's going to react, but all this talking about the magazines is getting old. Get the answer straight from Teresa. And if she doesn't listen or if she isn't willing to talk, at least you tried. Kathy's grade for the week: C (because she needs to just talk to Teresa already).

This blog wasn't as brutal as I thought it was going to be. Maybe it's because I'm on my own path of trying to forgive others and myself for misunderstandings and mistakes from the past. But, I'm going to need these ladies to grow up - now.

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