Hottest Househusband

Monday's Watch What Happens Live was a Beverly Hills Umansky-fest with Kyle and Mauricio. They flew in from the Golden Globes, where Kyle said she hid from Kelsey Grammer on the red carpet! The bartender was "Slutty Sigmund Freud", and boy, was he slutty. I think I saw his Oedipus Complex.

Kyle mentioned how difficult it was to watch this week's episode. She even said Kim didn't watch the episode at all. Kyle confirmed that Kim and Ken are not together anymore, which she had previously stated on the Wendy Williams show. Kyle also said that Kim is doing well and feeling strong - and that is truly great to hear.

Andy showed Kyle and Mauricio's original casting tape, which was hilarious. They're pretty much the same as they are now, though. Kyle talked about her friendship with Camille - oh! and Kyle did the splits at the clubhouse per a caller's request! Haha!

Andy played a game with the hottie couple where Kyle chooses who Mauricio gets a free pass with - awkward! But somehow fun at the same time - Betty White wins, by the way. Kyle revealed that the ladies went to Sur after the reunion taping, which I thought was a little odd, but I would have loved to hear the conversation over drinks that night.

The poll question was "Who's the biggest drama queen?", and Kim wins.

On the After Show, Slutty Sigmund Freud makes a move on Andy, so cute! Kyle and Mauricio tell the story of how they got together, too. Kyle talks about her book, and her advice to "fake it 'til you make it", no matter what the situation is. I really want to read her book, gotta get my hands on it. The Umanskys talk about keeping the love alive in a marriage. Their secrets include: making time for each other, having fun, and respecting each other. Good advice, for sure.

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Losing It

Lanai is full of beautiful scenery, fun activities, and tense dinners on last night's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Kim and her boyfriend Ken show up - a day late - and all hell breaks loose during Mauricio's birthday getaway. Back in Beverly Hills, Taylor and Dana spend some quality time together. 

Now that we're all up to speed, let's dish!

Taylor: Let's start with you. I liked your scene with Dana, although some of it seemed a little staged. I'm thinking you may have had to tape some scenes after the fact to have some continuity in your storyline for the show. I'm glad Dana was there for you - she seems very loyal. I don't blame you for being bummed that your BFFs were in Hawai'i while you were going through such a tough time, but I'm sure Kyle and Lisa wanted to be there for you more than anything. Taylor's grade for the week: A. 

Dana: I liked the softer side of you that we saw this week. You were supportive, kind, and loyal. Keep that up, and you'll win back a lot of Housewives watchers. Dana's grade for the week: A. 

Brandi: You toned down your flirting and took the time to actually hang out with the girls. You made Lisa laugh, so you just got 1,000 extra points in my book. I liked that you were more careful with your choice of words regarding Kim, and you didn't engage her at all, which was the best thing to do in that situation. Brandi's grade for the week: B.

Camille: I love that you throw yourself into every situation on the show. Snorkeling? Sure! Shots at dinner? Why not! You've proven that you're much more than the slightly kookoo Camille from season one. I think you're a great friend to the ladies on the show, and you know how to have a good time. Camille's grade for the week: A. 

Adrienne: I really enjoyed seeing you and Paul be affectionate with each other on this episode. We don't see that much - we usually see you two acting like the Bickersons - it was really nice to see you two being lovey dovey. I wish Ken hadn't come up on your totally innocent conversation with Kim, which was completely uncalled for, but you and Paul handled it well. Adrienne's grade for the week: B.

Lisa: You had fun on this episode and bonded with Brandi, of all people! Who'd have thought?! I'm glad you were there for Kyle with the whole Kim situation, and you're 100% right - Kim needed to learn her lesson. More on that later. I thought your advice to Kyle was "spot on", as the Brits like to say. Lisa's grade for the week: A. 

Kyle: I can't even imagine how frustrated you must have been throughout the entire Lanai vacation. Kim certainly knows how to get under your skin, and you let her do it to you every time. What would happen if you just not invite her to anything? I know she's out of rehab now, but hypothetically, at the time that you were planning Mauricio's birthday vacation, what would have happened if you just didn't invite Kim? I'm guessing you have a lot of guilt when it comes to her - that's why you feel the need to baby her and take care of her. But Kim's a grown woman who's making her own choices. I know there's more here than meets the eye. You don't like to be disrespected and you kept feeling like Kim was doing just that. And Ken wasn't helping. I say now that Kim's out of rehab, give her some space, don't take on the mother role, and resist the urge to include Kim in all of your functions. Especially if timeliness is a factor. Kyle's grade for the week: C. 

Kim: I know you've just gotten out of rehab, but I just want to reiterate what was so irritating about your behavior on this episode. Granted, you were drinking (I saw at least one beer), so you obviously weren't in the best mindset on this trip. First of all, why even show up? I think you know how Kyle is by now, and even if you weren't aware of how upset she was that you were late, were you not paying attention to the million and a half calls that went on between you two just the day before? Why would you come in and act like everything is ok - better yet, not even acknowledge Kyle at all when you arrived? Then, you make some stupid excuse for not getting to the island sooner, and then you get mad because people see right through your lies. Wow. And Ken. Ken is not a winner. More on that later, but just so you know, I'm so glad you're not with him anymore. Kim's grade for the week: D. 

Mauricio: Your toasts and roasts of Kim and Ken were understandable, but they didn't quite accomplish what you probably were hoping. Instead, Kim and Ken rallied together and dug their heels in. I, personally, wonder if it would have been better to send them packing as soon as the lies started the first night. But maybe you didn't want to uninvite two different couples in one season. Mauricio's grade for the week: C. 

Ken (Kim's Boyfriend): Seriously, Ken? I'm sure you had good intentions, but you are one creepy S.O.B. All I can say is: I'm glad that you don't care about hurting anyone else's feelings (re: your comment to Kyle at dinner), because we couldn't care less about you. Especially when your paranoia kicks in. Have fun on match.com. Ken's grade for the week: F. 

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Spa Day

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills just keeps chugging along, and I have to say, this episode was actually a welcome break from the tension, although there were plenty of catty moments.

The scene with Lisa and Adrienne and their twin chickens was hilarious. I'm so glad Adrienne has her lovely chef Bernie. His facial expressions are on the Alex McCord level of entertaining. Lisa's one liners were classic, and I almost died when Adrienne put her hand soap on the raw chicken carcass. You gotta be kidding me.

On to the main event, the spa day at Adrienne's mansion. Can I just say, I want to be adopted by Adrienne SO bad. I just want to live every day of the rest of my life in that house. I take that back. I want to have shared custody between Adrienne and Lisa. That way I can just run across the street and have my pick of fabulousness and luxuriousness in two different mansions. But enough about me. I love how Adrienne says she bought the spa equipment the same way I say I bought a new bra. Like, why not? It's just practical. It needed to be done, no big deal. Well, she did a great job because the spa inside her house looks ten times nicer than any spa I've ever been to.

All the ladies are in attendance, even Kim, which is nice. I love seeing Kyle and Kim act like teenagers together. They are pretty cute. Even if they are a bit bratty. All in all though, they're on good behavior as the spa scene begins. They're just mischievous. Yeah, let's go with that.

Brandi hobbles in (seriously, when is that ankle gonna heal, already?!), and the tension goes through the roof. Honestly, I do feel for the girl. No one wants to be singled out and ostracized in a group setting like she was at game night, but she got a couple jabs in herself. And her saying Kim was doing crystal meth was totally uncalled for. Even Brandi admits she pulled that one out of her ass.

Adrienne does her best to play peacemaker but only ends up looking like a meddler. I swear, sometimes you just have to let people handle things in their own time. After about what seemed like 20 minutes going back and forth between Brandi and the Richards sisters, Kyle finally speaks to Brandi. It goes about as well as expected. Brandi apologizes for the way things went down at game night, and Kyle bashes Brandi about her meth comment like 50 times. We get it, Kyle, don't make accusations like that. We know. The whole thing was wrong from the start. Brandi does have a point, the Richards sisters did start the rudeness, and she overreacted. Best thing would have been a mutual apology with no explanations or excuses and just move on. But you can't do that if you don't really think you were wrong. Which means, you shouldn't be apologizing in the first place!

Kim is upset that Kyle is even speaking to Brandi, even if it is only to pound her over the head about the meth accusation. In Kim's interviews she seems ... relaxed? Loopy? Paula Abdul-esque, shall we say? Bottom line, Kim doesn't do herself any favors by being so ... off the rails.

Lisa's friend wants to give Pandora an Arabian Nights engagement party in his house, which is ridiculously over the top Aladdin-ed out. Dress me up like Jasmine and let's party! Just kidding. His child-girlfriend is beautiful and of course, super quiet and obedient. Just like the mail order bride catalog promised.

My favorite moment of the show had to be Mauricio's pool time. He's scrumptious.

Watch What Happens Live wasn't so scrumptious, I'm afraid. Brandi and Dana seemed to be kind of at odds with each other and it was distracting. I love that the whole show focused on Brandi with Dana sort of chiming in for no reason. Kinda sad. Dana really doesn't bring anything to the table except $25,000 sunglasses, and even then, it's a disappointment because the glasses are more interesting than she is. The After Show was boring as well. If you want to catch up, check it out here. Although, Jeremiah from the Rachel Zoe Project was funny (too bad I don't watch that show). By the way, same thing happened on the Wendy Williams Show. A lot of Brandi, not so much Dana.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me! Or comment below! I mean it, I wanna know what you think, for real!