RHONY Lost Footage - Where's The Drinks?

I have to say, the Lost Footage episode of Real Housewives of New York was kind of ... boring. I'm being honest, so I have to tell it like it is. It wasn't that great! There were no particularly special moments, but there were a few that were just ok. If anything, they fleshed out some storylines, but that's about it. I think these Lost Footage episodes should be reserved for only the craziest/most controversial moments that we don't get to see the entirety of in the regular season. For example, show the entirety of the Aviva shouting match in St. Barts. That's a perfect example, since that scene was chopped and diced up on the original episode.

Anywhoo, let's get to the scenes. I don't have much to say about them, so don't be mad at me for being brief (for once in my life).

Scene 1: Aviva tells Ramona about her prosthetic leg in front of Sonja and Carole. I thought we saw this already? I guess not, but Ramona gave us the same exact reaction as we saw in the shoe store. Nothing new here.

Scene 2: Carole with her neighborhood mail guy, Lenny. This scene was SO Sex & The City/Carrie Bradshaw to me. Carole is Carrie Bradshaw here and I loved it.

Scene 3: Sonja's date with Richard. Um, barf. The whole thing was one big gross out for me. Don't get me wrong, I like that Sonja is flirty and fun, but there's something about the guys that she goes out with that just ... doesn't agree with me. Richard seemed like a nice enough guy, but did he really have to talk about how cute their kids would be? I think not. I did love it when Sonja told him she has to keep some things behind closed doors and then proceeded to tell him she was going to shit her pants. Classic Sonja.

Scene 4: Reunion clip about Harry Dubin. Why are we still talking about this guy? And why is Sonja so upset that Heather said he told her he slept with her and Luann? It's the truth and Luann and Sonja both said it, so why is it so unbelievable that Harry said it. And to be fair, Heather heard Harry tell someone else that. Bottom line, the words came out of his mouth. Who f*cking cares?

Scene 5: Luann's meeting with the apparel company. Did you do any preparation for this meeting at all, Luann? Seriously! You were stuttering and stammering like you had no idea what you were doing there. Nothing was accomplished at this meeting and you still don't have an apparel line in stores. Enough said.

Scene 6: Aviva confides in Carole about her mom's alcoholism. I really think this should have been part of the actual season, because it sets up Aviva's aversion to Sonja and Ramona's partying. She explained most of this on the reunion, but it could have given insight during the season as well. Carole was right when she said Aviva's history with her mom explains all the phobias and controlling behavior.

Scene 7: Speaking of Aviva, we're back on the reunion talking about George getting 86'd from Ramona's charity event. Heather was totally right when she said Aviva should have just sent in the check, and George should have never showed up there. And it's true there were no security guards escorting him out, it was a waiter - and it was actually Carole who walked him out after all. Aviva maintains that she never would have treated any of the other ladies' family members that way, but really, when is that ever gonna happen? But, nice sentiment, though.

Scene 8: Sonja has Ramona meet with her business partner. Ramona takes over the meeting and bulldozes the business partner. No surprise. This poor man was completely taken aback, probably because Ramona didn't give him a chance to get a word in until the very end. By then, he was clearly dizzy from being on the Ramona-coaster too long. There's no doubt Ramona is business-savvy, but the professor of Business 101 to Infinity (her words)??? I don't know about that one.

Scene 9: Carole on the phone talking about her book. I love that apartment. That's where I want to live when I move to New York (wishful thinking, I know). The characters in her book sound like so much fun. I actually can't wait to read it.

Scene 10: Ramona's Pinot Grigio appearance. She meets with the fans and actually is very good with them. Spoiler alert: She brings her own wine glass ... yup, you read that correctly. And we get another Ramona-ism: Water off a duck's ass.

Scene 11: Luann with her kids, and those kids couldn't be more annoyed with her. I'm leaving that one alone.

Scene 12: Ramona packs for St. Barts with Sonja. These two could debate about what color the sky is. Doesn't mean it's entertaining for me. Next.

Scene 13: At the Reunion, Andy asks Luann about her persona and whether or not it's a true reflection of who she is. Luann says she's many different women. Really? Or is it that you just change depending on who you're around? Not that there's anything wrong with that! But just once, I would love for Luann to admit that she plays up the Countess bit when it's convenient/makes her money, but she's truly a party girl at heart, which is what she really is.

Scene 14: Luann gets stood up at the park by Sonja and Ramona. Why did we need to see this?

Scene 15: Ramona unpacks in St. Barts. Another unnecessary scene. Loud as f*ck. Annoying.

Scene 16: Luann bonds with Cat's parrots in St. Barts. I thought this was actually a cute scene. But Luann's island accent is as bad as her French.

Scene 17: Heather talks about being friends with the likes of Sean Combs (AKA Diddy, AKA P.Diddy, AKA Puff Daddy, AKA Puffy), Beyonce, JLO and Carole talks about her friend Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. I would have liked to have heard more about their friendships, but this was a very short clip.

Scene 18: Aviva apologizes for the 8,000th time on the reunion. But I love that she prefaced it by telling Andy (re: Ramona), "She's so f*cking rude, I can't take it." LOL! Ramona brought up the fact that Aviva has said some not so nice things in her blog and on Twitter but as I've said before, in my opinion, if Aviva is explaining how she felt at the time, it's not going to be rainbows and unicorns. Simple as that. Aviva called herself ungracious and trashy on the show, which prompted Sonja to say that she is too hard on herself. Which surprised me, because Sonja was attacking Aviva the entire reunion. But, Sonja continued to tell Aviva to love herself in order to love others (which reminds me of RuPaul's famous line: "If you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen in here?"). Words to live by.

Scene 19: Discussion at the reunion re: best and worst of the season.

Ramona's best was St. Barts with most of the ladies, and her worst was her tea date with Aviva.
My best moment for Ramona was at Luann's Christmas party because she was super funny on that episode and my worst moment for Ramona was "TAKE A XANAX, CALM DOWN!" for obvious reasons. 

Sonja says her best was becoming friends with Heather, and her worst was making Heather feel unappreciated.
My best for Sonja was her tolerating George's advances and being a good sport about it, and my worst for her was all the falling-down-drunk (literally) moments. 

Luann's worst moment was her issues with Jacques and her best was the fact that she has a strong relationship with him.
Ho, please. Your best was making peace with Ramona early in the season and your worst was your "Italian friends" trainwreck of an alibi. 

Aviva said the best thing about the season was reaching people that need prosthetics, and the worst thing about it was her behavior in St. Barts.
I say her best was her charity events, including the soulcycle class and giving the little boy his prosthetics. And the worst, besides St. Barts, was her hammering the ladies with her complaints about Ramona and Sonja's behavior after St. Barts. 

Carole's best was the fact that her memoir got back on the best seller list and her worst was getting up early to film.
My best moment for Carole was actually a montage of all her hilarious interviews/confessionals, and the worst would have to be her tension with Luann because even though it was hilarious, it was unnecessary.

Heather's best was the platform the show gave her for organ donation awareness. The worst for her was not being able to solidify a business plan for Sonja, oh and the broken nose.
I say her best was the way she handled Sonja and put her in her place and the worst was not inviting Ramona to London. I know it was a business trip, but it rubbed me the wrong way and caused a lot of tension in the group for no reason. Plus she was the new kid and that was the wrong move at the time, in my opinion. 

And that's a wrap! In Ramona's words (seriously), "Where's the drinks?" Here's to not being an alcoholic!

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RHONY Reunion Part 2 - Honesty is the Best Policy

I am so sorry it's taken me this long to write my RHONY Reunion Part 2 Blog! But, as I said in my Jill Zarin blog, I wanted to give you a thorough account of what I thought of the episode, not a half-assed blog. You all deserve the best, plus if I half-ass it some of you call me out on it! But I love it, because you lovelies keep me on my toes. So, thank you, for pushing me to give you my best.

Now, as for the episode, well it was certainly eye-opening! I'm glad we got some resolution and some clarity. Of course, some grudges will be held but that's to be expected. RHONY is so different than other Housewives entities, the poise, the grace, the digs. Ah, those subtle digs are everything.

Get out your report cards, because I'm about to hand out some grades!

Luann: You gave us your story about Tomas NOT spending the night with you and I have to say, it doesn't make too much sense, but I'm gonna let it go. Whatever you did or didn't do, it's on you. And I'm glad you admitted that you panicked and lied about it. Because it was totally obvious and totally unnecessary. As for your "franglish" phone call with Cat, hey, I don't speak French, so I don't know the difference. But I think you meant a lot more than you let on with that, "I never change" line. It would be nice for you to own the fact that you may be a bit of a freak, but that's for you to decide. You've made your Countess bed, and you've chosen to lie in it. I am happy that you and Jacques are still together, though. Mazel. I found it hilarious that you have such a distaste for Carole. Despite what your ego is telling you, she's not out to get you. It's called a sense of humor. Look into it. You took me back to the days of seasons 1 and 2 when you and Ramona were threatening to out each others' deep, dark secrets - I say, you both spill the beans and get it over with. Neither of you are innocent angels, so why not? And your comment about Ramona being able to hold more wine than anyone was classic Luann - a compliment-covered-insult. Ah, can't you just taste the shade? I thought it was nice of you to back Heather up regarding Toaster-Gate, by the way. You didn't annoy me as much on this episode, and if you do come back next season, I say let the real Luann loose - just not around any Pirates. Luann's grade for the week: C (because she owned her mistakes (the ones she admitted to), but she still needs to be less sensitive and get a thicker skin).

Heather: You did a superb job on this episode, once again! I was so happy that you didn't allow Sonja's ridiculous props get the better of you. We all saw the work you did for her. And as I've said before, I think there was a true miscommunication between you and Sonja about what she was actually asking for. I think you gave her way more than a brandstamp. You gave her a campaign to use as a jumping off point. Which she didn't appreciate at all. You were right to not comment on the designs Sonja brought in from the viewers. By the way, there's nothing wrong with getting designs from the viewers. It was just not the right place or time. That's why you did the right thing and told her to go do whatever she wants. It's not your product or your business. If she wants to work with someone else, so be it. You're absolutely right about Sonja being in her own way - and you can't help her with that. I loved it when you said Sonja wouldn't know hard work if it bit her in the ass, and although we don't know if that's true or not, it was a great line. The point is, you win the Toaster-Gate war, hands down. And I'm so glad you set the record straight on Ramona and Sonja partying in St. Bart's. Of course they partied! They flaunted it! Why are they trying to say they were home at midnight? Lies! Heather's grade for the week: A (for serving Truth with a capital T).

Ramona: First of all, thank you for giving us season 1 and 2 realness with your not-so-subtle digs at Luann and her secret-slutty ways. That was priceless. However, we know you're not so innocent yourself. I love how you get so offended with Andy for asking about your drinking, or with Aviva for being mad at your behavior in St. Bart's and for throwing her dad out of your charity event, but you have no problem basically throwing Luann under the bus about Tomas. The truth is, you weren't there. None of us were, so you have no idea what happened between Tomas and Luann. I don't believe Luann, either, but she's sticking to her story, so we have no choice but to drop it. I say, if you're going to go after Luann so hard, do not be so up-in-arms when people come for you. You should have the balls to take whatever Aviva, George, Andy, and anyone else has to say about you. I just hate when you get that clutching-your-pearls look on your face. And seriously, what Aviva said to you and Sonja is nothing compared to what you've said to some of your castmates over the years. Real talk. Plus, you came for Aviva at the end of this episode when you dropped the bomb about her alleged prenups! So, please, don't play the victim and then attack like that. Anyway, I don't believe you and Sonja are lovers (barf) but you are mighty touchy-feely. Which really doesn't bother me, but it raises eyebrows with some for some reason. Now, regarding George - no matter how old he behaves or how inappropriate he is - he's Aviva's blood. Of course she's going to defend him. You are totally right when you said Aviva has a double standard for you, Sonja, and her father. BECAUSE THAT'S HER FATHER! That's the man that stood by her side while her leg was being chewed up by a machine. Is it really that surprising that you asking him to leave your event would upset Aviva so much? And yes, George grabbed your arm and wouldn't shut up about Aviva, I agree with you there. No one is disputing that. You just shouldn't have been so shocked that Aviva would have a problem with it. Here's another problem: Aviva claims she spoke to you and asked you if it was ok to bring Reid to St. Bart's and you said yes. If this is true, then, I'd say you pulled a Jill Zarin and purposely fought with Aviva to secure your place on the show. Which is always a bad move. If you want to come back next season, drop the victim act and make sure you can take it while you're dishing it out. Oh and that lipstick scene was hilarious. Do you ladies not bring makeup artists to the reunions? The Jersey girls do! Ramona's grade for the week: D (for throwing Luann under the bus and throwing shade at Aviva while playing the victim at the same time, not a good look).

Carole: I don't think you have a malicious bone in your body, but it was hilarious when you called out Luann for bringing Tomas home. It's true! Maybe it wasn't your "turn" to say anything but in all honesty, she needed to be called out. And you're all there to discuss the show, so it's fair game. I never understood why some of the Housewives get all upset when a castmate has something to say about something that happened on the show. It's a reunion! You're supposed to participate! Whatever. You gave us some great lines this week, but your portion of the reunion had already been addressed in Part 1. Except for the George Clooney part. I'm impressed you two are still friends. Again, cool points for you. I definitely hope you come back next season, but you'll have to make sure you tell these ladies - to their faces - all the snarky comments you'll be making in your interviews so they don't get offended *sarcasm*. Carole's grade for the week: A (because she gets how hilariously ridiculous this show is and doesn't take it, or herself, too seriously).

Sonja: I'm so glad we got a straight answer on the whole Tomas/garden situation, oh wait, we didn't. That's right, no one cares. You flirt, we get it. It's just not entertaining to me. Some people think it's cute. I just don't care for it. No problem. I do think that shirt Andy gave you was super cute. That "Stir the Drink" line is probably what you should go with, not the toaster oven/cookware line. Speaking of the toaster oven, you know you were wrong for bringing those designs out. What in the world did you think that would accomplish? Just let it go. Why keep beating that dead horse??? All you had to do was thank Heather for the work she did and then go do whatever you wanted (like Bethenny did with Alex). Please, let's never speak of Toaster-Gate again. I liked that you said that George wasn't coming from a bad place and that you went along with the setup for Aviva's sake. That's the Sonja we love, the one that goes with the flow and has a good time with people. No one ever expected you to seriously date him. Not even Aviva, I imagine. I'm glad things are better with your ex and that your financial situation is getting resolved. And please accept my condolences for Milu. I think we can all relate to a pet becoming a family member, especially after 18 years, and losing him must have been tragic. It was no surprise to me that you would have Ramona's back, and hey, you're her bestie, that's what besties do. I actually like that you're so loyal to her. I honestly wish you the best with your cooking appliance/accessory line and if you do come back, we want to see you working hard as well as partying hard. Sonja's grade for the week: C (despite her bringing out those designs, she let us know she's doing better and that was nice to see).

Aviva: I loved how you opened up even more on this episode and let us know why you had such a visceral reaction to Ramona and Sonja in St. Bart's. Aside from the allegation that Ramona knew ahead of time that Reid was coming, you explained that your mother passed away from a burst ulcer caused by alcoholism and that you are extremely sensitive to "partying". You openly admitted that you overreacted and apologized again for yelling at Ramona and Sonja. When you said that when you were yelling at them you were actually yelling at your mother, that really made an impact on me. The fact that your mom isn't with you anymore and that you reacted that way shows that you're still in a lot of pain. I can relate to the overreacting and it makes me realize that we all have triggers that can make us take our pain out on the wrong person. I appreciate you telling the truth about this. It doesn't make what you did right, but at least we know why it happened. You're maybe the most honest Housewife this franchise has ever seen. I don't think we've seen a castmate be as open about her flaws. I, for one, appreciate it immensely. And on a lighter note, I'll take the "we vacay differently" as a shout out because I said that in my blog! Shout out! I think it was smart of you to tell Ramona that she needs to quit with the "verbal abuse" schtick because it's getting old, and as I stated before, she really has no room to talk. And thank you for putting her in her place about the prenup business. It was shady of her to even go there with you. You were so right when you said that when you and Ramona and Sonja were getting along, you kept a lot bottled up, and when you stopped getting along, you exploded all over them. It was your chance to get it all out. So, if you come back next season, which I hope you will, just deal with things as they happen. Don't let them bottle up. And choose your words wisely. Aviva's grade for the week: A (for being totally honest and taking responsibility, while at the same time not letting anyone disrespect her).

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RHONY Reunion Part 1 - New Girls vs. Veterans

It truly was a war this week on Part 1 of the Real Housewives of New York Reunion. On this side, veterans Luann, Sonja, and Ramona. On that side, new girls Aviva, Carole, and Heather. Can I just say, though, I LOVED the location (Museum of American Finance). It was so ... money. Ah, I could smell the currency through the tv. All joking aside, it was a tense first installment for sure. Not a scream-fest by any means, but definitely full of drama. It was a nice break from the chaos of RHONJ, to be honest. These ladies occasionally let each other finish their sentences! What a concept!

I will be grading the ladies this week, so get your report cards ready!

Ramona: I have to say your leather top/chiffon bottom number was mesmerizing. I wanted you to get up and let me see the dress in all its glory. Maybe in Part 2? Let's talk about your exchange with Heather. You have a big problem with her not telling you to your face that she had a problem with you, but I seem to remember her telling you to your face - several times - how she felt about you, good or bad. Maybe I'm missing something? Hopefully, you two can end up being friendly again, because it was fun to watch when you were getting along. As for you and Luann being cautious of each other, that's probably for the best. I wouldn't trust either one of you as far as I could throw you. And of course, you're both card-carrying members of the throw-people-under-the-bus club. We have to talk about you and Aviva. She apologized about 10 different times and while you have every right to still be hurt and upset about what happened, I don't think you were really listening to her. You took your cues from Sonja who was not budging, and pretty much stalemated the conversation. I understand, she was aggressive towards you, and for you, that amounted to verbal abuse. And you had every right to rake Aviva through the coals for it - once. Not, in your words, again and again and again and again ... and again. It's time to bury the hatchet with her and if need be, just treat her like you do the Countess. I mean, if you can play nice with Luann, I'm sure in time you could do the same with Aviva. You may be right, once Aviva saw the response she got from the viewers she may have decided to make it right. That's none of your concern. You're getting your apology NOW. Regarding the whole blog thing, I would even venture to say that your blogs aren't always complimentary to everyone all the time, either. And my take on it is that you blog about the episode and how you were feeling at the time. So, if Aviva hated your guts at the time that you filmed the episode, it's not gonna be a love-fest, now is it? Not that I condone the insults either in her blog or on Twitter, but let's be real. There is a certain level of thick skin that you have, and you of all people know this. I can't believe you're that hurt over Aviva's words when you have absolutely no problem saying whatever you want (or as you put it "what everyone else is thinking"), no matter how hurtful it may be. So, my advice to you is, forgive and forget and stop being the victim. You give just as good as you get, and there's no reason to drag this out any longer. Ramona's grade for the week: D (because she's being stubborn and hypocritical, especially when she's said and done rude things all season).

Sonja: Wow. You had your aim set squarely on the other couch for the entire episode. And I'm really not sure why. Let's start with your buddy, Harry Dubin (aka Aviva's ex). It's not totally strange that you would side with Harry and not Aviva, but you can't expect Aviva to be happy about it. I think it would be best to not talk about her ex (or anyone else's) from now on. You don't want to be in the middle of someone else's divorce. And for the record, everyone brought Harry up in conversation, not just Aviva. Whether Aviva talked bad about her ex or not, you need to remember, you don't know what really went on in their marriage, just like we don't know what really happened in yours. If you just don't like her, that's fine. But leave the whole Harry thing out of it. You were a bit of a mean girl when you made that comment about Aviva's phobias renewing by the minute. We get it, you don't like her. You and Ramona are both upset by what Aviva has said on her blogs and on Twitter. I'm going to give you the same advice as I gave Ramona. Forgive and forget. No one's saying you ever have to deal with Aviva again, but just let it go. You've told her how you feel about her, and that should be the end of it. I don't want to hear about this grudge against Aviva anymore. You've made it clear how you feel about her, and I think it's time to drop it and move on. Sonja's grade for the week: C (because she said what she needed to say, but she said it in a pretty hateful way. I don't like this Sonja, but at least she got everything off her chest).

Luann: Well, you needed to create a stir to keep you on the show and you certainly accomplished that. The whole Countess vs. Princess thing was so laughable, partly because it was all a big joke to begin with. But we all know that when it comes to you, you have no sense of humor. I'm wondering if you just hate the fact that Carole turned out to be the fan favorite, and maybe you're just jealous? I mean, let's look at the facts. You admitted to doing the whole American Indian thing after Carole asked you not to, just to make her mad. You took offense to the fact that someone may not jump at the chance for you to wear their clothes in such a prestigious publication as LIFE&STYLE, for Christ's sake ... seriously?! Also, let's not forget: you talk about people behind their backs ALL THE TIME! That's all you do! Since Season 1!!!! And you accused Carole of borrowing clothes, when, if we're being honest, you don't know that for a fact and more importantly, it's none of your business. And then you pull the victim card with Heather. You are a grown ass woman, Luann, you don't need anyone to defend you. Heather was giving her opinion, which Andy asked for, and you had to be snotty to her. For no reason. This is why you should leave the show. You have a great story - the Countess thing, Jacques, the baby plans - but you waste your platform on this show by being a DRAG. And not in a good way. Regarding St. Bart's (Barths whatever), you did stir the pot and you did kind of throw the grenade and walk away. You knew Ramona and Sonja were half in the bag when they were saying Reid should stay in a hotel and the only reason you created a diversion was because you had to get the heat off you and Tomas. Fact. And one last thing, what do you really gain by being pissy with Aviva? The whole "I'm sure it was a bad joke" thing was so unnecessary. Way to kick the lady while she's down and defending a comment her husband made, Countess. I always expect you to be the most respectful person in the room, and every single time, you let me down. Luann's grade for the week: F (for being so goddamned sensitive and for not having even a shred of a sense of humor about herself).

Heather: Holla! I actually love the fact that you had to explain to Luann what that means, by the way. Classic. I couldn't blame you for being totally confused by Luann's attitude towards you on this episode, it was nutty. I, personally, enjoyed you point of view as a designer that it's a pain in the ass to lend out clothes. Of course, she jumped down your throat about it, and you very astutely called her out on the fact that she dismisses you if you don't tell her what she wants to hear. I loved how you talked about smiling through it when Ramona was in your face screaming at you this season, that concept is clearly a new one on this show. And it was great to hear you say that now that you and Ramona have a better rapport with each other that you would take her on a business trip in the future. Even though I got on your case about not inviting her in the first place, you made your decision and stuck to it. I can respect that. I really loved when you said that we see what we don't like in ourselves in others. We should all take those personality clashes as a sign that we need to work on something within ourselves. That's so true. Also, you were right about the takeaway: name calling is totally unnecessary and does absolutely no good whatsoever. I hope the ladies (from all the Housewives shows) were listening. Thank you for being one of the few voices of reason on this episode. Heather's grade for the week: A (because she was speaking TRUTH!)

Carole: Someone should have mentioned to you that, since you're the coolest Housewife, you were bound to get static from Luann - who thinks she's the coolest, but really isn't. I think it's laughable that the Veterans would be so offended by your interviews/confessionals. Those interviews/confessionals were A) hilarious, B) YOUR opinions on what was going on, and C) HONEST! There was not one interview where you told some tremendous lie or were out of line in any way. The Veterans have been on reality tv for quite some time, now, and I would think their skin would be a lot thicker than this. Or could it be that they don't like it that one of the New Girls is the It Girl of this season? Whatever the case may be, you win. And not just because I like you. You admitted the fact that you're quiet and you observe and then you gave your take on what happened during filming in the interview segments. Big deal! The fact that you told Luann to her face that you heard she asked to borrow clothes just shows you didn't go behind her back. You confronted her about it and you thought that was the end of the conversation. You obviously weren't planning on her throwing it back in your face. And like you said, she was offering to wear Naeem's clothes in f*cking LIFE&STYLE. "It's not VOGUE, honey" is right! Good for you! I'm glad you didn't fall for Luann's "poor me" bullshit. Aviva said you came across as territorial over your friends Naeem and Ranjana. Well, I should hope you would be territorial over your dear friends with people like Luann just itching to get a little wholesale/free action. I'm just saying. It's not entirely a bad thing to be protective over close friends. I appreciate you saying that nothing you said was meant in a malicious way. We, the viewers, know that. Anyone with half a brain and a sliver of a sense of humor knows that. And I want a GIF of you telling Luann to shut up because that was one of the most glorious moments in television history. I thought you were fair with Aviva when you said she did owe Ramona and Sonja an apology - which has been your stance all along. I think your only diva moment was when Ramona was complaining that it was too hot and you said "lower it by one degree." Burn! Carole's grade for the week: A (because she owned up to everything she said and explained herself when it really wasn't even necessary.)

Aviva: You were the main topic of discussion on this episode, and I'm glad you were able to get a lot off your chest. Let's start with Harry. No one knows what is really going on with your situation with Harry, and it's no one's business. Even if you're on friendly terms with him, it's not Sonja's or anyone else's place to say that you knew what you were getting into or not. I wouldn't have counted on Sonja to take your side, because she has pretty much proven that she'll take whatever side is more convenient for her. And right now, she doesn't like you, so Harry it is. I'm sick of talking about him, so I'll move on. I want to thank you for opening up and telling the world about the day you lost your leg. I can't even imagine the excruciating physical and emotional pain you experienced that day, or even the pain the comes with talking about it in such detail. I can see why you are afraid of getting hurt again, and why you protect yourself so much. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. It was so honest of you to admit that you projected your anxiety onto your castmates this season. You took responsibility for it and apologized for it genuinely and sincerely. Now, this apology was different than the others we saw on the show this season. On the show, you were almost combative with your apology. This time, you said what you had to say and left it there. No demands, no expectations. You just simply apologized and promised never to do it again. Regarding your blogs and Twitter activity, I am of the opinion that when you blog about something that happened almost a year ago, you're essentially letting us in on how you felt AT THE TIME. However, that doesn't mean I condone name calling in the blogs or Reid's comment about "overweight girls gone wild". Those were unnecessary insults, and they did more harm to an already rotten situation. You admitted that during the season, you became unhinged, which is a pretty accurate assessment. With that said, I don't know if I would recommend coming back next season. This may just be too stressful of an environment for you. But I'm proud of you for being open and honest and taking responsibility for your words and actions. Which is really, all anyone can ask of you. Aviva's grade for the week: B (for taking responsibility, no matter what the reaction was, and for apologizing, regardless of whether it was accepted or not).

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RHONY Season Finale - It Is What It Is

Well, kids, here we are, at the end of another season of the Real Housewives of New York. It's kind of funny to think, this particular franchise started out with Jill Zarin, Bethenny Frankel, and Alex McCord. Seems like a lifetime ago, doesn't it? Sigh ... but let's get back to the current crop of New York ladies, shall we? The best thing about this finale is the fact that there were three parties/events back to back. This is how I like my reality TV. One fabulous event after another, no matter who's screaming at each other, just make sure the entertainment is good and the drinks are cold. The finale really didn't resolve anything at all. It's more like a "To Be Continued" and the Reunion is going to be a cliff-hanger where we have to wait till next season to see who's friends and who's not (or who's on the show and who's not).

Enough speculating, let's get to the grades.

Ramona: It truly cracks me up how ADHD you are. Or maybe it's bipolar. Menopausal? Something! Because one minute you're in tears about how George pulled your arm and the next you're apologizing profusely to Heather then you're complaining about Sonja's pictures (which have nothing to do with you) then you have to whine about how dirty the wine glasses but before that you have to talk through the fashion show and berate the poor photographer about a photo shoot you weren't even involved in ... you're behavior is literally a run on sentence. I suggest you take your own advice and CALM DOWN! You're pretty much spinning out of control. I don't even think it's the booze. I think it's you. Slow down and pick your battles. You've said what you needed to say about George and Aviva. Fine. But the Heather/Sonja thing is none of your business. And then you yell at Carole? Saint Carole? Of all people? I am just kidding now, but seriously. You have to get your priorities in check. Ramona's grade for the week: D (because she really turned me off this season, get it together!)

Sonja: I was glad to see you tell Heather that you appreciated her time and efforts with your toaster oven campaign. Maybe you saw the rage on her face and decided it was time to back off and quit complaining? It does seem that there was a lot of miscommunication - logo vs photo shoot, hot guy vs no hot guy, favor from a friend vs being a client - but the bottom line is, Heather did work for you and didn't ask to be paid. You got some great material for your product. It was wise of you to thank her and tell her you appreciated it. Because if I had walked up on your conversation with Ramona and heard what you two were clucking about, I would have lost my shit, too. And from now on, PAY for whatever work you want done, mmmkay? Sonja's grade for the week: C (because she apologized but she should have never gotten Ramona involved in the toaster oven saga).

Luann: You've been sort of in the background after the St. Bart's episodes, and especially in this episode, so I really can't grade you. You've been a good in-between person for all the ladies and I give you credit for that. I'm just wondering if Bravo is diminishing your role on the show on purpose? Just saying ...

Carole: I loved your ping pong tournament and your book shower. In fact, I love the book shower so much, I'm stealing the idea and planning my own (except mine will be sometime in the distant future when someone decides to give me a book deal, you're totally invited, by the way!). As for you being the unofficial referee, you're the best at it. You are calm, rational, and very clear about what needs to happen. I, for one, love your interview/confessional segments because you're telling the truth! Every single time! For example, Ramona and Sonja do draw attention to themselves - fact! I really hope you come back next season, oh, and you're still the coolest housewife, just so you know. Carole's grade for the week: A (because she's real and honest and I have a feeling she'll get some flack for telling it like it is).

Heather: I almost stood up and cheered when you finally gave it to Sonja about the goddamn photo shoot. Holla! Yes, you won me over. It's official. And your fundraiser for the Kellner Pediatric Liver Foundation was awesome. I loved the venue and the fashion show. You really know how to put an event together and your passion for your business and the charity really shone through. I'm glad you accepted Ramona and Sonja's apologies and decided to "keep it movin'" because, really, enough is enough. I would have had a few words with Aviva for not wearing the damn blazer, but that's just me. And your husband is awesome! Heather's grade for the week: A (because she spoke up when she needed to and didn't sweat the small stuff).

Aviva: Well, you didn't wear the jacket and although you looked great, there was a purpose for you wearing it. Namely, to get me (and everyone else watching) to buy it! But hey, Heather is willing to overlook it, so who am I to talk? I didn't enjoy all the Ramona talk but I think you were still riled up from your little sit down we saw last week. The point is, you were right when you said some people just aren't meant to be friends. And it was so interesting how just a few short weeks ago, you were defending Ramona up and down. Funny how things change. But, it is what it is, and you both need to stay away from each other - until the Reunion, of course. If you do come back next season, we want to see more laughs and smiles from you! Aviva's grade for the week: D (because she beat the dead horse till the very end, but I still like her).

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RHONY Have Some Respect - Gowns are Present

I can't believe next week is the season finale of Real Housewives of New York. The season has really flown by. I can't say it was my favorite season, because it isn't, but we got a lot of drama plus some laughs. This is what I want from my Housewives - drama AND fun. Got that, Andy? (Cough cough New Jersey cough cough). Now, as for this week's episode, it was a huge mess. George, Aviva's dad, was wrong, wrong, wrong to ask Ramona to apologize. He needed to drop off those checks and bounce. But of course, he had to get involved. I really don't understand why Aviva would "send" him to the charity, because it makes absolutely no sense to do so. She could have sent the checks with Heather or Carole. Anywhoo, George was out of line and needed to be stopped. He would have had Ramona in the awkward ass conversation all day. And hello??? There's a fashion show going on!!!! Aint nobody got time for that conversation while gowns are present.

It's time to grade the ladies ...

Aviva: It may be the lawyer in you, but I really wish you would stop with these sit downs. You present your case but - may I approach the bench? - enough already. I love that you own everything you do and say and you admit when you're wrong, but the group of women you're dealing with play a whole other ball game. They don't want to hear how they offended you. They don't want to hear your analysis of them. And really, who would? I mean, there is nothing outrageous about what you're saying. It's the delivery that they can't take. You could call Ramona a crazy drunk, but if you do it the right way, she'll laugh and give you a hug. I love that you feel the need to state your case, but the problem is, it doesn't mesh with the show that you're on. I hate to say this, but this may not be the gig for you. Unless you're willing to just play nice and keep the closing arguments to yourself? I really do like you, though. Aviva's grade for the week: F (because her meetings with the ladies are not working and her cross examinations aren't exactly Housewives-friendly).

Ramona: No one is saying you can't party or vacation the way you want. It would be nice, though, if you could realize that not everyone parties or vacations the way you do. We're all different, and it's ok. Now, I think you knew exactly how that meeting with Aviva would go down and you were ready to skeedaddle as soon as it got rough. Maybe that's your defense mechanism, to walk away, but you have to know that Aviva is going to call you out on it. It is a little funny that you walk away as soon as it gets uncomfortable for you, just saying. But hey, if that's how you roll, maybe you shouldn't even entertain the idea of having a sit down/confrontation with anyone. Regarding George, he should not have put his hands on you. Point blank and the period. It was obvious you weren't trying to fight with him at first, but he did keep insisting that you apologize to Aviva, which you're clearly never going to do. I don't know if he required a full blown escort out the door, but you made a judgement call when you were upset, so it's understandable. Ramona's grade for the week: D (for always running away from a sticky situation instead of just hashing it out and being done with it, nothing gets resolved that way!)

Sonja: I truly felt for you with the whole settlement thing. I can see this is affecting you in a major way, not just financially, but emotionally, and my heart goes out to you. Sonja's grade for the week: Pass (she's going through a lot on this episode, so I'm gonna lay off - until next week).

Luann: It was nice of you to be there for Sonja in her time of need and you were really nice to George. I like this Luann a lot. Luann's grade for the week: A (for being a good friend).

Carole: First of all, that gold lame blouse is my new obsession. I must have it. Now, we can move on. I love that you continue to be the voice of reason on this show - you're pretty much on the money in all your confessional/interview segments. And you were smart to take George out of the charity function. That was very kind of you. Oh, and smart move not accepting his offer for a date, by the way! Carole's grade for the week: A (another stellar week for my fave).

Heather: I can't wait to see your fashion show next week and I can't wait for you to put Sonja in her place about the goddamn photo shoot that will never die. Jeez, how many more conversations can you two have about it? I guess we'll find out. Anyway, you were great at Ramona's charity function and again, you have won me over. Heather's grade for the week: A (whodathunk??)

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Not So Hot Mess

I don't know about you, but throughout this week's Real Housewives of New York, all I kept thinking was: Whaaaaa????? Seriously, the level of crazy was turned up - all the way up. I want off this friggin' island already, and I wasn't even there. I'm officially never going to St. Bart's - people go bonkers and show you their kookas for no reason. Another theme I'm noticing is: "If it's not my idea, I don't like it and I'm going to throw a fit". And my personal favorite, "If I drink excessively in front of you, don't call me out on it, no matter what." Now, I could end the blog right here, but what's the fun in that?! You know what time it is! Grades time!

Carole: I think you need to wear a sign around your neck that says: "IT'S NOT A GIRLS' TRIP!" Maybe the confusion would die down, no? You were absolutely right when you said that there were other men around - chef, butler, Tomas - and no one had a problem with that, did they? Now, about your breakdown at lunch. It was totally understandable for you to have a moment with all the plane talk. And at first I wasn't surprised no one went to console you, but then Aviva stepped up and you were able to relax with the creepy pedicure fish. As for your conversation with Heather on the beach, I think you handled it perfectly. Of course the trip changed when Aviva and Reid came - because some of the ladies took it upon themselves to get angry and change it. I think you were an awesome host - mani/pedi/massage on the last day on top of the amazing house - I'll go on vacation with you anytime. And I don't blame you for being upset with Ramona and Sonja for not showing up to the concert. They're the ones saying you all have to be together and then they ditch you the night your boyfriend is performing (the whole purpose of the trip)? You were very clear about what the trip entailed and they totally ignored you on that. By dinner, you'd definitely had enough, and it showed. Next time, just take the ladies to dinner and leave it at that. Carole's grade for the week: B (she did her best with this bunch, and no good deed goes unpunished).

Aviva: You were in full-blown ass-kicking mode this episode! And I loved it! I appreciate the fact that you didn't back down, you didn't talk behind anyone's back, and you put it all out there in the open. I really do admire that about you. You said what was on your mind and you were totally right. The trip was all about Ramona and Sonja for Ramona and Sonja. And when you had a difference of opinion with Ramonja, you defended yourself. And when I say you READ Sonja, you read her like a book, cover to cover. And if you know me, you know I love me some good reading. Although, I will say it wasn't a good idea to bring up Sonja's daughter, and I'm glad Sonja let that go. That could have been disastrous. I think we saw that you were up for having fun, just not the kind of drunken idiocy that Ramonja were involved in. Which brings us to the Anna Nicole comparison - I see where you're going with that, but damn, kinda harsh! Anywhoo, I like you and I like that you stuck to your guns the whole time. Aviva's grade for the week: B (for not taking sh*t from any of the ladies).

Heather: I think you were overwhelmed with all the bullsh*t flying around you, because there's no other explanation for you getting so upset about Carole and Aviva's double date. It was towards the end of the trip and I'm sure your nerves were frayed to say the least. I'm glad you and Carole worked it out and instead of throwing a huge fit (it was more of a tiny tantrum), you just went off on your own to calm down. Grown ups do this! Take note, ladies! And thank you for lightening the mood by jumping into the pool. At that point everyone just had to laugh, so thank you for that. Heather's grade for the week: A (for handling her stress like a grown up in the end).

Luann: You've got some nerve saying Aviva likes to talk about herself! Pot, meet kettle. You stayed in the background a lot during the episode, which is fine with me. Luann's grade for the week: C (for not being as self-aware as she should be by now).

Sonja: While I don't think you're exactly Anna Nicole Smith, I have to say I did NOT appreciate having to see your ass hanging out throughout the episode. Good Lord. I agree that Aviva was not spending time with you and the girls, but you have to understand why. Her first night was a nightmare! Of course she's not going to want to be around you and your bosom buddy! Far be it from me to tell a grown ass woman what to do, but you can't fall all over every man you see on this trip and then be surprised that people have something to say about it. I get it. This is how you have fun. Not everyone does that. You and Ramona do that. So now you know, you and Ramona vacation together and that's it. Done. I do like the fact that you stand up for yourself and say what you gotta say, but you have to be a little bit more aware of how you're coming across. The fact is, you had no problem with men being around, in the house, and pardon my language, in you. So, let's be honest. You didn't want Reid around because he's someone's husband and not a boy toy. And I know you thanked Reid and everyone knows you did. No problem there. The problem is you have no limits - and it goes beyond fun and just becomes sad. I'm not sure what you meant when you said Aviva will see where her ass ends up, but we certainly knows where yours does. Sonja's grade for the week: F (for not controlling herself).

Ramona: You've always had a problem with women who bring their husbands along unexpectedly, we get it. I even get that you knew the trip's dynamic would change and you weren't happy about it. However, you and Sonja totally embarrassed yourselves in your quest for "fun". You ladies took a perfectly wonderful vacation (note: vacation, NOT girls gone wild trip), and turned it into a drunken mess. And for you to sit there and say to Aviva that you're never drunk? Please! Maybe your tolerance for Pinot Grigio is so high that you don't think you're drunk, but you are. How could you not be! I have to address the fact that you and Sonja didn't go to the concert, which was so childish and annoying. You both did whatever you wanted the whole trip and you couldn't suck it up and go to the concert for Carole, who had been an amazing hostess? That's so wrong. I will say, at the last dinner you were more together than Sonja but not by much. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for being totally selfish and rude).

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Bad Vibes

Someone hold me because this week's Real Housewives of New York has got me all kinds of upset. Let's just start with this - travelling with people you don't know very well is a nightmare. Everyone has their own idea of what the trip should be, and most of the time, no one is on the same page. You'd think in a place as gorgeous as St. Bart's it would be a breeze to just let the drama go and have a good time, but not with this bunch. It's a shame, really, because they're bickering over nothing. And a little common courtesy would have resolved this whole mess. Let's begin. 

Aviva: I empathize with you for some reason, even though I don't suffer (as many) phobias (that I know of). And I totally understand why you needed your husband there for you - you're afraid of planes! You deal with your phobias your own way. I don't even mind that you brought your husband because his intentions were to get you there and get some work done, not ruin the girls' trip. It is insulting that some of the ladies were making plans to rid themselves of your husband before he even had a chance to tell them he wanted nothing to do with them. And I don't think you were even mad about the whole topless thing - it was the hotel thing. That's what did it. You made all this effort to come and then you find out that Ramona and Sonja were plotting to ask your husband to leave??? Not cool. Now, I don't know why you called them "white trash", because that part of the scene seemed very chopped up (what the eff with the editing, Bravo?!), so it didn't quite make sense when we saw it. I would love to know what prompted you to say that - or at least what the conversation was before that comment came out. Either way, you stood up for yourself and your husband and frankly (my new favorite word, thanks to you), if I were you I would have gone to a resort with my husband and flipped Ramonja the bird on my way out. But you stayed and went to dinner and even called Ramona out on wanting to move your seat. LOL! Aviva's grade for the week: B (for dealing with her phobias and for going toe to toe with Ramonja). 

Luann: You do have a way of saying the one thing that's going to incite an argument, you know that, right? I mean, you could have stayed out of Aviva and Ramonja's conversation all together, but that would have been no fun for you. Plus, you had to keep the focus off of you and your whole Tomas/Italian friends fiasco. So, you diverted the attention elsewhere and threw the grenade. It was smart, I'll give you that. Necessary? Not really. Because Ramona was going to keep having an attitude about Reid being there no matter what and Aviva was going to defend him being there no matter what. But good job getting the heat off you. Luann's grade for the week: B (for making sure she wasn't in the hotseat anymore).

Carole: I don't blame you for telling Carole that you can't ask Ramonja to leave. If you played into that, it'd be a whole Scary Island Part II up in this bitch and you don't need that. Seriously, you handled it the best way possible. And it sucks you missed Russ' rehearsal because of all the back and forth. I LOVED when you piped up on the stairs and yelled out that you could hear everything! So funny, but I'm sure it was very annoying at the time. This'll teach you to plan a girls' trip with these ladies. Maybe Heather was on to something in London after all ... Carole's grade for the week: A (for keeping calm and carrying on).

Heather: I really have begun to enjoy you. These last few episodes you've made a lot of sense and you haven't been super annoying at all. I love it. Just keep doing what you're doing. You really didn't have anything to do with the fight and you were a good friend to Carole. Nice job. Heather's grade for the week: A (because I like her now!)

Sonja: I hope you realize how ... sad this whole persona is that you've created for yourself. No one's saying you can't be saucy and fun and flirty, but you threw yourself at Tomas. After Luann allegedly had him the night before. Barf. Seriously, no wonder you two had no problem swapping Harry back in the day. That is so disgusting - and so unnecessary. You're lonely. We get it. But this whole swinging singles thing you're doing is beneath you. You're a gorgeous, smart, funny lady. Why can't you treat yourself with some dignity and not fall all over every cute boy you see? It's really confusing to me. Now, let's talk about your conversation with Aviva. I understood why you wanted to smooth things over with her and help her understand that you and Ramona actually wanted to get a hotel room for the two of you - not for him. But, let's be real, at one point you WERE talking about how to ask him to leave. That's true. At this point, if I were you I would look around and ask myself: "Is this really how I want to present myself to the world?" I'm all for fun, but you and Ramona take fun and turn it into an excuse to be completely out of control. And that is not sexy. Sonja's grade for the week: D (for trying to play both sides when it's obvious she's just lost).

Ramona: So disappointed. Really. I understand you got the hotel for you and Sonja - and that's what you should have lead with. You should have been at your hotel when Aviva and Reid got to Carole's house. You should have come to Carole's when you were all done with your topless antics. Because no one needed or wanted to see that. But you were making a point. This was a girls' trip - according to you. Carole made no secret about the fact that Russ was going to be around. You could have asked Mario to come along but you didn't want to - maybe because you wanted alone time with Sonja (no problem!), but again, YOUR CHOICE. I'm pretty sick of hearing you say that Reid was going to ruin the vibe of the trip because here's what: YOU are ruining the vibe of the trip. Between you and Sonja not keeping your hands off each other, you constantly running your mouth about every little thing, including Luann and Tomas, and let's not forget drinking and drinking and drinking ... you're no picnic! Did you ever stop to think that maybe it's none of your business who brings their boyfriends or husbands along for the trip? First of all, it's not your trip - you didn't organize it. Second, you can invite your husband to join you. And third, you can leave. Which you should have done. You and Sonja go to your other hotel/resort/whatever, and have your own girls trip and shut the eff up already. Also, I would commend you for apologizing to Aviva but then you had to say in your confessional/interview that you just did it to placate her and then you wanted to move her seat at dinner. So none of it was genuine. You weren't sorry and you still aren't. I don't think you're white trash, Ramona, but I do think you're extremely rude and selfish. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for so many things, it's not even funny).

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Johnny Depp, Ahoy!

Well, this trip to St. Bart's is certainly different than any other we've seen on the Real Housewives of New York before! All I can think of is how hilarious it would be if Jill Zarin showed up and asked to use the bathroom. (You RHONY fans know what I'm talking about!) So, the trip is off to a rip-roaring start. Ramona and Sonja are apparently a couple, Carole invites her boyfriend over and Ramona tries to contain her rage, the girls have a wild night dressed up as Pirate Wenches, and Luann brings a Johnny Depp look-alike home. Oooh-weee!!!

Let's get into this episode without any further adieu (that's pretty much as French as I can get)!

Luann: You make yourself look SO bad. I know you say "nothing happened" with Tomas, but the fact that you lied, covered up, and schemed like a high school girl trying to sneak back into the house after a night of partying is just pathetic! Own it! You brought the man back to the house! It's a fact. Now what you did with him is a totally different story. I really don't care. It was completely inappropriate. And then you lied about it. It's not ok for a woman in a committed relationship to bring a man home who she's clearly lusting after. You do the math. Gurl, please. Luann's grade for the week: F (but it should be C for CHEATER!)

Ramona: I'm really getting tired of your tipsy antics this season. Turtle Time was fun, but it's time to cool it (wow just had deja vu with my advice to the Jersey 'Wives). I will say, you're having fun and that's what vacay is all about so ... I guess I can't fault you too much. Oh, and nice job trying to get the details out of Tomas. Ramona: C (because she's enjoying her vacation, but I'm over drunk Ramona).

Sonja: I hope you find a real relationship soon because this whole Samantha Jones thing you're working right now isn't working at all. It's coming across as sad and uncomfortable. Everything is sex with you. But not in a funny, naughty way, like it used to be. Time for a new routine, hun. Sonja's grade for the week: D (because I'm sick of her talking about sex all the time).

Heather: I felt so bad when you smacked into the glass door (the same thing happened to my Dad recently). I can just imagine how embarrassed you were. Now, about the Luann thing. You should NOT lie for her. I'm so glad you aren't perpetuating her BS story about all these Italian friends coming over. I don't blame you for talking about it (everyone else was), but I also understand why you didn't blow up Luann's spot, either. She's the one that's lying, not you. Stay out of it. Heather's grade for the week: A (because she's telling the truth).

Carole: I love your relationship with Russ! I was really happy to see him sort of rescue you from the craziness at dinner. Once again, you were spot on with all of your observations this week (duh, Luann, Tomas was speaking French, not Italian). And who knew you dated George Clooney? More cool points for you! Carole's grade for the week: A (I'm starting to think she's our new Bethenny in the commentary department - in a good way).

Aviva: I am not looking forward to seeing the blow up between you and the Pinot twins next week. On the other hand, it looks like you put them in their place, so it could be quite entertaining! Aviva's grade this week: N/A (I'll wait to see how it all plays out next week).

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Only When Convenient

I was pretty irritated after watching this week's Real Housewives of New York, partly because my eyes will never recover from Ramona booty popping on that table and my ears are still hurting from Luann talking about masturbating. Jeez Louise, ladies! Did someone at Bravo ask the OGs to ratchet it up or what? I don't watch RHONY for this! I'm supposed to see good old fashioned digs and gossiping, for crying out loud. In my Sarah Winchester voice: "Is this the world we live in?!" Sadly, yes. So let's get into the episode, shall we?

Luann: I'm keeping it short with you because I cannot WAIT to see you deny that you brought a strange man back to your vacation home with you in St. Bart's. Sacre bleu! As I mentioned before, I don't ever need to hear about your private moments ever again. Enough said. But I did like how you were getting along with Ramona. Not sure it'll last, though. Oh and the outfits you tried on at the store were really nice. Points for that. Luann's grade for the week: C (because she was ok in this episode, but a little TMI for me).

Ramona: If I were that taxi driver, I would have pulled over and kicked you out after the third time you said to write the address down. Um, seriously?! If you're so high maintenance, why not have a driver? Why not drive yourself? It makes no sense!! I was really annoyed with you this whole episode. I hope it's menopause or hormones or something because your level of irritating is off the charts. Although I did appreciate you trying to calm Sonja down when Aviva was giving her that (well deserved) smackdown. And it was nice of you to donate to the charity in lieu of you being at the event. Now, one question. Is the doctor's appointment we saw the same one that prevented you from going to the event? Or did the editors just conveniently put it together so it appeared that way? Ramona's grade this week: C (because she's getting more and more annoying as the season goes on).

Sonja: I'm not sure how to feel about you breaking down about your dog at lunch. Really, all you should have said was, "My dog is very ill and I thought it was better for me to take him to his appointment just in case it was serious. However, I'm sorry I did not go to your event, I know it was important to you, and I'm sorry." Done! End of discussion! I really don't know why you felt it was necessary to go on and on about it. And if Aviva was asking you to explain, you should have politely told her you didn't want to talk about it because it's a sensitive subject for you. Anyway, I'm just saying it really didn't need to be blown so far out of proportion. I mean, bottom line is, you didn't go to her event and her feelings were hurt. Your reasons for not going are valid, by all means. Sonja's grade for the week: C (because she had a meltdown and at the time, it was unnecessary).

Carole: I love that you're able to diffuse a tense situation, such as the lunch with Aviva, Ramona, and Sonja. That skill is going to take you far on this show. You're still the fan favorite, no secret there! The scene where Aviva's charity gave Jake his running legs was so great, and it was nice that you were there and you appreciated that experience. It just shows you have substance. You supported Aviva's cause because you truly cared about the kids. I did think it was hilarious when you said you hate to work out. You are lucky! Because you have an amazing body for someone who doesn't work out ... ok I'm jealous. Now, I don't know why it doesn't bother me to hear you talk about your love life, but I can't stand to hear Luann talk about hers. I don't have any kind of point to make, I'm just saying ... anyway, I can't wait to see how you react to all the craziness in St. Bart's. Carole's grade for the week: A (because she's awesome!)

Heather: I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns, but let's be real, you said "your crazy wife" to Mario about Ramona. Own it! Anyway, it was great of you to show up for Aviva, despite your little tiff about Ramona/Jacques. I think you two should be friendly because you really don't have a reason not to be. Ramona shouldn't be a factor at all. Heather's grade for the week: B (for not backing down to Ramona, even though she did call her crazy, but then again who hasn't?)

Aviva: I totally understand why you were so upset with Sonja and Ramona for not coming to your event. But here's what. Are you really that surprised? Let's be real. Sonja and Ramona are pretty much all about themselves. I just don't see them bending over backwards for ANYONE. And you're probably right, if it was a party with wine flowing, yeah, they probably would have been there. That's just more their speed. But, you definitely shouldn't take it personally that they didn't show up. It has much more to do with them (and their selfishness, let's be honest) than it does with you and your charity. That's why they couldn't understand why you were so hurt by them not coming. To them, it wasn't that big of a deal. Now, once you started grilling them (which I loved), then they had to defend themselves. Ramona made a nice gesture by giving you a check, and Sonja, well, started crying about her dog. It is what it is. Now you know, certain people will not come through for you unless it's convenient for them. Your charity, One Step Ahead, is amazing and the world is now seeing the great work that you're doing for child amputees. That's the most important thing right there. Let's move on to the fear of flying thing. It's common! A lot of people are afraid of flying. And it's your choice whether or not to go on this trip. By the looks of the previews, you probably would have had a better time back in New York. Aviva's grade for the week: B (because I'm glad she called Ramona and Sonja out, but she shouldn't have taken their absence from her event personally).

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White Elephant (and Green Lizard) in the Room

The Real Housewives of New York was a classic bitch-fest if I ever saw one. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy it - because I did - but damn, some of these ladies need to get their happy back. And it seems the first step in doing that is to stay away from each other. But we all know that's not going to happen, so bring on St. Barts! By the way, don't you get this terrible flashback from past seasons when you hear the words "St. Barts"? I do. And I'm pretty sure it's going to be a total disaster once again. Now, for the episode at hand ...

Sonja: One question: did you purposely put Heather and her team out or did it just happen by accident. Whether you care to admit it or not, Heather put in work, as well as the rest of her team. It's not so much about you not paying for their services (which is bad enough), it's about you acting like you were entitled to their services, as if you were doing them some kind of favor. In reality, all of that was a favor to you, and you weren't very grateful at the end of it. If you disagreed with their vision, you should have cancelled the entire project at the second meeting. However, you looked great and the pictures were awesome. I'm really disappointed that you allowed yourself to be in the middle of Heather and Ramona again. If you really don't want drama, stop telling Ramona bad things about Heather that she can then throw in her face. You're just as wrong as Ramona is for all of this foolishness. And for the love of all that is holy, I never want to hear about your torrential period ever again. Sonja's grade for the week: D (because she blew it big time).

Carole: I liked your White Elephant party. I thought it was really nice and the game was fun. And of course, I love your commentary throughout the episode via your confessionals/interviews. It's pretty much the only way to make sense out of what's happening half the time. Thank you for being our NY Housewives spirit guide. Oh and that lizard was too cute! Carole's grade for the week: A (for making the most sense consistently since the season began).

Luann: You were a good sport with George, but hearing you dirty talk gives me major dry heaves. Sorry! I don't blame you for being over the whole wine party conversation. We all are. Especially since you and Ramona ALREADY FRIGGIN' TALKED ABOUT IT! Everyone needs to just let it go. And I have no doubt Jacques is French and his accent is real. Luann's grade for the week: C (because even though she's the worst, she wasn't too bad this week).

Ramona: You were so EXTRA this week. And what I mean by that is EXTRA ANNOYING. First of all, why do you care so much about Sonja and Heather's relationship? There was no reason for you to get all fired up about it. Second, it was YOUR party, and you were willing to ruin it by beating this dead horse in front of everyone. You weren't invited to the shoot. Get over it. Then, at the socialite's party (can't remember her name, don't judge me), you pulled a hit and run on Heather. There's a difference between calling someone out and taking a cheap shot and what you did was a cheap shot. Instead of standing there and saying what you wanted to say and hearing Heather out, you bolted, turned, yelled at her, and bolted again. What sense does that make? You reacted so immaturely that yes, it did look a little crazy. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for making a fool out of herself for no reason).

Aviva: I have no idea why you would bring up the wine game incident to Luann after she had already worked it out with Ramona, other than maybe you didn't know that they had spoken? At any rate, you explained how you felt about it and left it at that. The problem is, everyone else didn't. You never said Jacques' accent was fake, Ramona and Mario did. And you didn't agree or go along with that. Then, you heard Heather out and Ramona blew up at her. So, all things considered, I don't blame you for wanting nothing to do with Ramona anymore. Aviva's grade for the week: B (because she brought up a sore subject, but I don't think  her intentions were bad at all).

Heather: I have come out in your defense throughout this entire blog! Who'd have thunk it, right? But you were totally right on this one. Sonja was a nightmare, Ramona was acting crazy, and the entire mess is exhausting. Now, should you refer to Ramona as "your crazy wife" while talking to Mario? Probably not. But hey, we all say things when we're angry. Heather's grade for the week: A (for not backing down, kudos to her).

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Everyone Loves A Freebie

Last night's Real Housewives of New York really made me appreciate the fact that I'm not a New York socialite ... yet. I mean, think about it. You'd have to do favors for people who won't say thank you, put up with insensitive comments, talk about your prosthetic leg when you don't want to, and listen to some punk band at a Christmas party. Count me out! Now, don't get me wrong, there's a lot about these ladies' lives that I would be more than happy to experience. Just not on camera and not around some of the ladies on this cast. No, thank you. Let's get into the episode and hand out some grades, dammit!

Aviva: Now I see why your friendship with Ramona had to end. You can't say two words (rather, one word: "Harry") without her jumping down your throat. In all honesty, yes, it is a little annoying to always have his name brought up, but to be fair, you were in the place where you married him, so I had no problem with you telling the group and mentioning what a special place it is to you. I loved the scene with your son Harrison creating the character and putting the concept together. That's really cool that he's in on the project and that Harry and his associates are involving him. What better way to find out what the kids are going to respond to? And don't worry about knowing the words to "Jingle Bells". You didn't ask to be up there, you were roped into it and if I were you, I probably would have said no and sat down to watch with everyone else. Aviva's grade for the week: A (this lady is getting points with me all over the place!)

Carole: I think it's great that you're looking for an intern/assistant. I'm kind of surprised you don't already have one. Now, for Indian-Gate. I totally agree with you, the term American Indian is not appropriate for what Luann was trying to say. She has always said American Indian - I think, since season one - and that I know of, no one has ever corrected her. And you didn't even do it in a mean-spirited way, but you did "read" her when you said anyone older than a third grader knows to say Native American. But that was good shade, so I'm not mad at you. Seriously, though, you're absolutely right, the term American Indian does have negative connotations that come with it, and it doesn't matter if Luann is ok with it - she made you and probably others at the table uncomfortable. But I'll deal with Luann later. I'm just glad you said something. Obviously, others aren't as brave. Carole's grade for the week: A (for saying it like she means it).

Heather: You are slowly (SLOWLY) winning me over. I thought you handled Sonja and that whole mess really well, and you made your concerns known. Now, the fact that Sonja wasn't having it is a whole different story. You are bending over backwards for this project and you're not getting paid, which in my book, is one hell of a favor. There should be some kind of compensation coming your way for all this time and energy you're putting in, but let's be real, if you're gonna offer, some people are gonna take advantage. That's just how it is. That'll teach you to help a cast mate out with their business in the future. As for you and Ramona, there is no solution. I say, be polite and don't engage anymore. You've tried to be nicey nice and it didn't work. You've tried to confront her and it didn't work. In the previews for next week, it looks like you've finally had enough. I honestly don't blame you. But I will say this, do not hitch your wagon to Luann. You shouldn't have had her step in at the photo shoot at all. Let her play with the pretty jewelry instead. You don't want to be on Team Luann. Believe me. Heather's grade for the week: B (for STILL helping Sonja even AFTER their conflict).

Sonja: I hate to even say this, but damn, you love yourself a freebie, don't you? I mean, let's be real, everyone does. But to say that you're someone's CLIENT, when you haven't paid them for services, is kind of ridiculous. And not true. You're not a client, you're a friend who asked another friend for a favor, and now it's turning into a nightmare. The truth is, you needed help, and Heather came through. I know you asked Ramona for help, too, but there had to be some reason that she wasn't as involved as Heather was - whether it be that she didn't have time, or that she wasn't interested until she realized Heather was helping you, it really doesn't matter. You essentially were in a business relationship with Heather and her associates and then you bring Ramona in. For what reason, exactly? When you know these two don't get along? Did you think Ramona was going to be anything other than bratty through that entire meeting? Well, if you did, you were wrong. And it made you look bad. Also, for the record, you did point out that you wanted a different "j" in the previous meeting, but then you picked a font that you liked better. So, you and Heather are both right. Now, for Luann's situation. How you didn't laugh in her face is beyond me, but we're gonna move on. I think that whole spiel about Jacques not being 100% in the relationship with Luann was probably more accurate than they both care to admit, but it was not appropriate at that place or time. You should have said all of that at lunch with Luann when you two were alone. But, I understand the wine got the better of you. It just wasn't right to say it there. And what was Jacques going to say? "You're right, I'm leaving"??? Of course not. But I will say, you were hilarious when that band played their "song". Best reaction ever. Sonja's grade for the week: F (and it hurts me to do this to her, but come on. Fail, all the way around).

Luann: First of all, I don't care what you're comfortable calling yourself. American Indian, Native American, so on and so forth. It's not about you. When you talk about scalping and you mock the "Indian" battle cry and you pretty much say that you don't care if you offend anyone else, it's rude and obnoxious. I don't know where you get this idea that because you're YOU, you get to say whatever you want. It's very ... off-putting. About the baby, for the love of all that is sacred, stop talking about it. Make a decision with Jacques and do whatever it is that you both want to do. But, I am sick of you acting like you want other people's advice, when clearly, you're going to do whatever you want in the end anyway. As for the band, you probably should have Googled/YouTubed them to see what their overall sound was like before asking them to play a holiday party. Who does the thinking for you? That's what I want to know. Luann's grade for the week: F (because I'm tired of her ego).

Ramona: Shout out to Mario! Good for him, he had something to say, and he said it. Now, let's never mention the damn wine game ever again. But I did like how you were over it and didn't want to rehash the whole thing. I don't think you should have been at Sonja's meeting with Heather because you weren't in on this project from the beginning. You weren't privy to the other conversations that they'd had, and therefore, were of no use whatsoever at that meeting. And, you were a total brat. I don't even know why you would agree to go to the meeting, if not to just derail the whole process. At Luann's holiday party, I totally appreciated your reaction to the band, as well. Classic! Ramona's grade for the week: D (for wanting to move past certain things, but not others).

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Too Much

This week's Real Housewives of New York was gag-inducing. I almost turned it off a couple of times. I'm all for bawdy humor and naughty jokes, but man, this was not enjoyable for me at all. For those of you who didn't see it, thank your lucky stars. Some of the ladies were in Miami with Aviva and her ... less than charming dad, George. And Ramona was on one! I've traveled with people who drove me nuts before, but this was something else entirely. So let's get into the episode before I lose my nerve (or my lunch).

Ramona: Thank you for showing us all why no one should ever travel with you ever. Your brand of crazy just intensifies with travel, I'm guessing. Better you stay in the Tri-State area, or better yet, on Manhattan proper. And I was so annoyed with you and the leg - Aviva's to be exact. Why in the world were you so concerned with it? Did you not get the memo that Aviva is not into drawing attention to the leg? I hate seeing you like this. Last season you were one of my favorites, but now ... I'm just disappointed. I will say, you know how to have fun and party it up, which I guess is positive. Not sure about the bathing suit and minidress, but hey, not my problem. You do have an amazing figure, so far be it from me to tell you to cover it up. I do feel your friendship with Sonja is genuine, and Sonja's right, there's no filter big enough in the world for your mouth. You do say what's on your mind, for better or for worse, and that's why we still put up with you. Ramona's grade for the week: D (for the whining and for not shutting up about the goddamn leg).

Aviva: I love you, but your dad is too much for me. I won't even talk about all the wrong things that came out of that man's mouth. Bottom line, you're basically a saint at this point. I do want to congratulate you on the shade you threw at Ramona's bathing suit! That was some good shade and I love me some good shade. However, you shouldn't try matchmaking again any time soon. Sonja and your dad did not mesh at all. I say call up the Love Broker and let her take care of it. And did he really say "fememorone"? All in all, you kept your cool, which I wouldn't have been able to do, so you get major points in my book. And I don't think you set out to exclude anyone, but I would like to know how the trip came about and why it wasn't mentioned to Heather/Luann? Aviva's grade for the week: A (for putting up with all of that crazy).

Carole: Still the sanest person on the show. And the coolest. You were smart to leave Miami early, although, Miami is amazing and I probably would never want to leave ever. And I love Ranjana. What an amazing woman! If some of the ladies would have stopped yapping long enough to listen to her, they could have learned a lot. I think you were right to talk to Luann about the whole dress thing. If you got a weird vibe from it, it's better to just get it out there. You already have tension with her (because she pretty much created it), so you definitely have a right to say what's on your mind. Besides, you were calm about it and totally open to hearing her side. Carole's grade for the week: A (for handling the situation with Luann gracefully).

Sonja: I really think you play to whoever is around, so if you're with Ramona, you two are the Bopsy twins all of a sudden. Then, when you're with Luann, you're very "dahling". Just something I noticed. I wasn't surprised that Aviva's dad wasn't your cup of tea and if I were you, I would have slapped him a couple of times. But he probably would have liked that, so never mind. I mean, when you have to tell someone they're being inappropriate, that's bad! You were definitely not having any of his antics, but you weren't mean about it, which I'm sure Aviva appreciated. I have to say - you understand Ramona better than anyone else and that's why your friendship is real. So mazel for that. Sonja's grade for the week: B (for dealing with Mr. Handsy better than I would have).

Luann: I really don't know what you did or did not ask for from Carole's friend, but something about it wasn't right. I mean, she felt the need to bring it up to you, and she's not a drama queen, so there had to have been something wrong there. I appreciate that you explained the situation and all, but you looked very uncomfortable and almost taken aback by the whole thing. I don't think you know what to make of Carole. You just know you want her on your side, and I don't blame you! Luann's grade for the week: C (for answering for the dress debacle).

Heather: I was going to be very snide about your date night and your caviar but now that I think about it, good for you! I'm the last person to begrudge someone a nice dinner with their husband to celebrate all their hard work. I may not be a fan of yours, but dammit, enjoy that caviar to the fullest. And in all sincerity, I don't think Aviva purposely didn't invite you to Miami. I just didn't get that impression. Heather's grade for the week: B (because she's doing her own thing and I do respect that).

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Exhausting

This week's Real Housewives of New York left me completely exhausted. With a couple of exceptions, all of the scenes were pretty maddening. Now, I know all of the Housewives shows are catty and obnoxious (that's why I love them), but something about this group takes the cake. They take the cake, throw it in each other's face, then smear it all over each other, essentially. You get where I'm going with this. Sometimes it's just TOO MUCH. The only saving grace is that Jill isn't there to join in. I don't even want to picture how she'd be behaving with this crew right now.

Back to the episode. The ladies are in London, well, most of them are, and it's ... a disaster.

Luann: Do you ever get tired of tooting your own horn? Because I'm sure as hell sick of it. Carole's right. Everything someone else does, you've done bigger and better. Now, maybe you're just carrying on a conversation the only way you know how, but this is not the first time people have said this about you. I did enjoy you breaking your own etiquette rules and eating some of your dinner before the other ladies came back to the table. You rebel, you! (Sarcasm) Anywhoo, in addition to calling people Pumpkin Head and Groucho Marx (how are either of those endearing, by the way), you still have this superiority complex that I just can't wrap my head around. I can't believe you really buy into the Countess thing, after all these years, so what the hell is it? Do you really think you're that much better than everyone else? Luann's grade for the week: F (because if she called me Pumpkin Head, I would have popped her in her Pineapple Face).

Sonja: I usually love your free spirit but you were kind of annoying on this London trip, too. Did the plane ride make you go kookoo? (Shout out to Kellamity Bensimon!) But seriously, you were all over the place. I know if I was there, it would have driven me nuts. Oh, and give Carole a break! You and Luann were giving her the business the whole episode. What gives? Not to mention Heather's glasses. Not cool. Sonja's grade for the week: D (for being almost as annoying as Luann).

Heather: If I have to hear friggin' Yummy Tummy one more time, I swear on my glasses ... seriously. I'm glad your business is doing so well and I love that you have all these international partners (including a wonderful Queen), but it's becoming overkill at this point. If you're not talking bad about Ramona, you're shoving Yummy Tummy down our throats. I really didn't even care that you made people stand up at the dinner and introduce themselves. If I was on the trip, I would have eaten as soon as I got off the plane. That's just me, though. I did think it was lame that some of the ladies were complaining at your function. That wasn't cool. And as you read before, I think it was harsh to call you Groucho Marx. Please tell me you caught that shade! And why didn't you give it right back to Sonja and Luann??? Where was your "Holla!" then??? Heather's grade for the week: C (because she should have put Sonja and Luann in their place when they threw that shade at her).

Carole: You have my utmost sympathy for going on a trip with quite possibly the most irritating people on Earth (I've been there). You handled it well, though. Every time Luann one-upped you or Sonja made a comment about you not wearing a bra, you were cool and calm. And believe me, it drove them nuts. I can't wait till next week, though, when you crack a little and give Luann some of her own medicine. That is going to be fantastic. I understand why you didn't want to stand up during the dinner, because it wasn't what you signed up for. Sure, Luann had to rub it in by making a show of standing up right after you, but you don't follow the crowd. You do your own thing. It's why you're the coolest Housewife. Carole's grade for the week: A (because she handled that group better than I would have).

Aviva: I also felt a little sorry for you this week - for having to deal with Ramona. And you know, I love me some Ramona. But you handled it like a pro. Maybe because you're a mom, you went into mommy mode, and chances are you can calmly explain the whole prosthetic leg thing in your sleep by now. It must be tiring to have to explain it over and over to everyone who asks. Or maybe it's the kind of people who demand an explanation who are tiring. Either way, you were great with Ramona even though she was over the top about the whole thing. I can see where you and Ramona are going to drift apart pretty soon. Although I'm not particularly happy about it, I definitely understand it. Aviva's grade for the week: A (for not smacking Ramona upside the head like I would have wanted to).

Ramona: You are just out of it this season! What the eff??? I can't condone your over the top behavior with Aviva. I mean, come on. I can't believe you've never seen a prosthetic before (on tv or in person). And in Giuseppe Zanotti? A crime to behave that way. I would never. As for your Learning Annex appearance, you really went overboard. They're getting the damn table! What's so hard to understand about that? Like I said, exhausting. I would tell you to have some Pinot and relax, but I won't. Instead, how about a Xanax? Ramona's grade for the week: F (for being even more over the top than usual).

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You're Uninvited

Well, everyone, keep your arms and legs inside the car at all times, because we are in full-fledged Ramonacoaster mode! This week's Real Housewives of New York was kind of a throwback to seasons gone by when it was all about parties and being on the right guest list. It reminded me so much of Jill and Ramona's big blow ups back in the first season in the Hamptons. Not much has really changed, I guess. I have to say, I'm happy things are getting interesting. I'm definitely going to keep watching.

Let's break it down!

Heather: I will give you one thing, when you make a decision, you stick to it. There was no way Ramona was going to get invited to London. In a way, I respect that, because it means you're not easily swayed. I still don't think you've been around long enough to have that kind of attitude (see my last RHONY blog), but hey, I guess it is what it is. If I were you, though, I'd check myself before I wreck myself. Holla! Heather's grade for the week: C (for sticking to her guns, but I don't think she's making the right moves).

Luann: You are the queen of trying to influence people, so I just think it's hilarious that you're so worried about Ramona having some kind of hold on Sonja. You're just pissed she's not under YOUR spell. Let's be clear on that. I didn't like how you were so overjoyed that Heather didn't invite Ramona to London. Isn't that poor etiquette? I just have a problem with you fighting so hard to get people on your side this season. I mean, you've always been that way, but damn. It really isn't that serious! You should just be happy you're still on the show, for Christ's sake! Why do you have to practically recruit people to be against Ramona with you? It's very strange. Luann's grade for the week: F (because she's so intent on destroying Ramona, it's sad).

Aviva: Please tell me Mario didn't really ruin the surprise about the ring you're buying for your husband. That would be really terrible. I thought it was funny when you had Heather hold your hand in the elevator. Some people were bothered by it, but seriously, I'll take a girl with some phobias over a raging egomaniac any day ... fill in the blank there. The whole gift bag thing with Ramona was a little catty - but I see your point. It was a nice gift bag, though, and you can always re-gift the products if you don't want to use them. You're still cool with Ramona at this point in the show's storyline, but we all know it's not going to last. I like that you went to bat for Ramona this week, because it shows you really liked her at first and whatever your problem is with her now  - it isn't because of someone else's influence. I think it's good you're not going to London, by the way. I see it as a coincidental symbol of solidarity with Ramona. I want to know what goes down between you two and what prompts you to call her white trash?! Aviva's grade for the week: B (for just being herself and for kindly defending Ramona).

Carole: I loved the scene with you and your friend at Occupy Wall Street, not to mention that you got your arm painted. I think we see that adventurous side of you and get to know you a little better in this episode. Still the coolest Housewife on the show by far. I can see you getting along with everyone - and that's a great place to be in on this show. You can just jump from party to party and have a good time, because I think you realize that none of this is that important. You're not concerned with gossip (that much), and even if you do talk about someone (like Heather), it's not anything terribly mean. You said she talks a lot. She does. It's not the end of the world. Maybe it's because you've seen real suffering that you can see this petty stuff for what it is. And you just don't let it get to you. You should teach a class. Carole's grade for the week: A (for taking all of this as seriously as needed: no more, no less).

Sonja: First of all, if you wake up looking like that, I'm the Queen of Spain. And second, it's not that hard to record an outgoing message. Some of this stuff you do just seems so rehearsed. I don't like it. However, you are right about the whole Ramona/Heather thing. It's Heather's choice to invite or not invite whoever she wants. It's not your fault that Ramona wasn't invited. I think if you had told Ramona from the beginning: "Look, I'm invited to this trip and I'm going. I realize it wasn't very nice of Heather to not invite you. I'm really sorry if this hurts you but I want to go on the trip. It isn't my place to invite you along. And I don't have a problem with Heather, so I don't see why I shouldn't go. I'm still your friend and I still care about you", or something to that effect, Ramona would not have been so upset with you. You have to understand, she just felt left out - which she was. You could have been a little preemptive and saved yourself a lot of heartache. But, then again, you stood Ramona up for lunch on purpose to hang with Luann. So are you really stuck in the middle? Or do you want out of the friendship with Ramona? Either way, just say it to Ramona's face and get it over with. I don't think it was cool of you to ditch Ramona for Luann. So not cool. Sonja's grade this week: D (for not telling Ramona that she didn't want to have lunch, then not giving her a heads up about London).

Ramona: I don't agree with you yelling at Sonja at her party and throwing a fit like a child. That was terrible. However, I can see where your frustration is coming from. You're used to Sonja behaving a certain way and she threw you for a loop with this London thing. The truth is, your beef is with Heather, not Sonja. And of course, Pinot had to be involved. You can't yell "Pinot on my head" without people calling you a drunk, ok? You have to know that. I thought it was nice of you to have a drink with Heather, and I could see you were just dying to ask her about London. However, this girl Heather is a totally different species than what you're used to. She didn't budge, she didn't waver. She wouldn't even let you call her your acquaintance. I think it's best for you and Heather to stay civil from afar. Just treat her like you treat Luann, really. Because you're not going to get anything from her. Don't waste your time. Ramona's grade for the week: F (for trying so hard to get invited to London, then taking it out on Sonja).

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Holla!

How I forgot to talk about Heather's tagline, I will never know. Let's chalk it up to being a scatterbrain. Now, the Real Housewives of New York this week was pretty entertaining. A lot of really funny moments - some more awkwardly funny, but hey I'll take it. This one is gonna be brief. If you want me to address something - or if I missed something - please let me know and I'll address it on Twitter.

Heather: I think you are a very capable businesswoman, and all of your advice to Sonja was great. However, you're too new to this game to be cut-throat. You are supposed to invite EVERYONE on these trips. You need to have at least two full seasons under your belt before you start excluding people. And I have to say, I think I know what it is that rubs me the wrong way about you. You are way too cocky and way too new. What I mean is, you have this attitude, like people are supposed to move out of the way for you. Like, Here comes Heather!, but we don't know you. You haven't given us a chance to warm up to you. It's like you've been shoved down our throats. And you say "Holla" in your tagline without realizing that it sounds phonier than Kim Zolciak's voice on "Tardy for the Party". I'm just saying, know your role. You're a newbie and it may be that you're coming on too strong for me, but I'm not feeling you. Ya heard? Heather's grade for the week: D (all I have to say is "Holla", am I right?).

Sonja: I admire you for wanting to make a new start with your finances and your businesses sound like really great ideas - just listen to Heather and Ramona. Heather's advice about branding was right on. And Ramona will show you how to be organized and on top of everything. You have great business resources with those two. I do think you need to stop bringing up Aviva's ex-husband. The whole subject is very cringey and off-putting. Plus, there are so many other interesting things that you all can talk about. I love that you're up for a ladies' trip at a moments' notice. That what makes you a great friend - you'll drop everything for a chance to have some fun. Sonja's grade for the week: B (because I'm proud of her ambitions for her new business ventures).

Luann: You're not serious about having a baby. Unless you adopt, or something feasible like that. You're like Sue Sylvester, and I'm Roz Washington here to tell you that you're baby is going to come out walking and talking with a briefcase. Please. And for the record, I don't know if Ramona is jealous of your friendship with Sonja, but it seems to me that you should have been a lot friendlier at the jewelry launch with Ramona. I understand being careful, but you made it obvious that you don't want to be around her and the agreement was to be civil and forget the past and make a new start. I didn't see that. I saw you get out of dodge. I will say, it was funny when you were on the skateboard, that made me laugh. Luann's grade for the week: C (for not really coming through on what she said at the park).

Ramona: I don't know why you apologized to Heather, but what you said was really nice. I think you were genuine, but I don't know what your motive was behind it. Maybe you thought she'd invite you on the trip? Not that I'm judging, I might have tried the same thing if I were you, but my thing is, do not let that trip bother you. You have been on that show since day one, and you know those trips are 90% drama anyway. I thought you handled Mario and Carole's flirtation the best way you could - you called it like you saw it and laughed it off. You've been laughing off Mario's flirting since season 1, so it didn't surprise me at all. I loved your advice to Sonja about business and I hope you two are still friends. The previews for next week have me scared that we have another Jill/Bethenny situation on our hands. Say it ain't so! Ramona's grade for the week: B (for apologizing and being a good friend to Sonja).

Carole: I love you, but you gotta watch the flirting. I know you said you only do it in front of the wife (because you don't have bad intentions), but not everyone is as cool with it as Ramona. I just don't want to see you get popped by some crazy lady at a party or something. I think it's great you have such a laid-back attitude when it comes to marriage, but not everyone feels the same way. I say, do what works for you. It seems to have served you well thus far. Carole's grade for the week: C (because the flirting might get her in trouble).

Aviva: I was laughing so hard when Sonja told your husband that he looked like a lumberjack. That was too much. But, yes, I agree, he needs to be wearing a wedding band. Also, I loved the scenes with your kids. I don't think it's that big of a deal that you changed your son's name when he was 4 months old. I think it would be weird if you changed it back to what you wanted it to be after your divorce! But you didn't, so no worries. I thought it was great that you talked about your phobias so openly. It sucks when people try to hide their crazy (we all have our crazy, let's be real). It's so much better when we just put it out there and say "take it or leave it". Aviva's grade for the week: A (for putting it all out there).

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