This Bitch Done Lost It - Nene Leakes - RHOA

First of all, sorry for the delay, kids. Life is trying to drag me down again but I will not be deterred from giving you my blog about RHOA. Now, it may be brief, but I'm gonna tell these ladies what I came to tell them. I have my Mountain Stream white noise on in my earphones so nothing is going to distract me from getting these blogs posted today. Thank you for all your support, by the way. It means more to me than you know.

Let's get right into the drama - Kenya's stunt at the ShoeDazzle event. PRICELESS! FUNNY! But totally unnecessary. I did pause the DVR and laugh my ass off, though. I appreciate absurdity especially in reality tv and that was about as absurd as it gets. Everyone's reactions were hilarious to me, so this episode makes it into my top 10 easily. Thank you, ladies, for the laughs. Now let's hand out some grades.

Kenya: Let's start with your lunch date with Porsha. I think it's telling that you are so worried about what Phaedra is telling Porsha about you - I honestly didn't think Porsha meant that much to you, much less Phaedra. Your real target was Phaedra, so you might as well have had her there, too. But you knew you would be confronting her at Nene's event later, right? The way you spoke to Porsha was pretty shitty, I mean, the girl was letting you know she still had beef with you regardless of anything Phaedra had to say and you dismissed all of that and got rude. No surprise. There is no talking to you, unless of course, it's to tell you you're right. Never gonna happen with Porsha so that's done and done. But the name calling needs to stop. Just saying. You got your revenge with Phaedra and made your point, and while it was funny as hell - I will never say it wasn't funny because it was - it was over the top for sure. You not only made your point, you highlighted it then circled it in red sharpie. We get it, Kenya! But it honestly only made you look crazier. Not the effect you were hoping for. I don't think you're necessarily an alcoholic, I just think you are attention-hungry and possibly in need of anger management. And that's putting it nicely. Kenya's grade for the week: D (she made me laugh but damn, she really let this bullshit get to her and it's not attractive).

Phaedra: So, it's been reported that you really don't know Tyler Perry, but I'm not really shocked that you told another fib. I like you but you do have a way of stretching the truth. Speaking of stretching, your photoshoot for the Donkey Booty DVD was hilarious and very entertaining. And of course, pretty raunchy. I think you ended up with a great cover for it, though. It makes sense that you would shop around for a distribution deal, I just wish you would have made that more clear to Kenya before so we wouldn't have had to endure her wrath. I was proud of you for telling Kenya exactly what you thought of her to her face at the ShoeDazzle event. Regardless of how much she was making fun of you, you stood your ground and said everything to her face. It wasn't worth it to get into who is relevant and who isn't. You two are both on the same show so there's no reason to discuss who's doing who a favor. At this point, you're both in the spotlight so just leave it at that. Phaedra's grade for the week: B (she's more concerned with her business which is how it should be, but she should have spelled everything out for Kenya much sooner and to her face instead of behind her back).

Cynthia: I hate to say it but you pissed me off this week. First, let me congratulate you on the pageant. It's a brilliant idea and I know it'll be super successful. But, why on Earth would you ask Porsha to help you and then do nothing but complain about her? I mean, it's clear you wanted the sponsorship from Porsha's charity, but I'd like to think that wasn't your only motive. Surely you saw something of value in Porsha to ask her to help you out. But the digs you were throwing in your interviews were just not necessary (it's not like she has a job, she's already confused, this isn't dress up, if I wanted a singer I would've asked Kandi). All this leads me to believe you wanted her to be a silent assistant - which you should have made clear to her before she showed up to the venue with you and Cy (who's adorable, by the way). If Porsha isn't bringing anything to the table, let her know and cut her loose. Period. Now, let's talk about the dinner with the girls. Here's where I have an issue with you. YOU ASKED PHAEDRA ABOUT KENYA. Ok? You asked Phaedra about Kenya, then you got so offended when the girls started talking shit about her. WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN??? Stop asking about shit and then complaining when people answer you! The golf date with Kenya was just another opportunity to tell her what the others said about her, which seemed kind of staged to me, but whatever. I still love you, but the comments in your interviews and the going back and forth between Kenya and the other ladies is not going to end well. Just know that now. If you answer for it and own it at the reunion, it'll all be fine. Don't make excuses, just own it and stand behind everything you said. Cynthia's grade for the week: D (she should have just taken Porsha's sponsorship without involving her in the planning of the pageant, and she should not be the middle-man between Kenya and the rest of the cast. That's the worst possible place to be, and she put herself there).

Porsha: I was proud of you for standing up for yourself with Kenya at that almost-lunch you two had. Good for you! It spiraled out of control very quickly but at least you were able to get some funny parting words in (Bye, Ashy!), LOL! You were having lots of fun at the pageant venue with Cynthia, but you gotta remember that it's her event and if she asked you for help, you gotta come through for her. Hopefully you do, because it didn't sound like she had much faith in you. Sorry 'bout it. Now, you know you were saved by the sitar at that restaurant. If you say your voice is a Beyonce/Mary J/Rihanna "congloberation", WE ARE GONNA WANT TO HEAR IT!! You cannot be shy about singing when you bill yourself like that! So, I want to hear you sing and I want to hear it soon. Lastly, your reaction to Kenya's mockery of Phaedra was priceless. Can I get some wine??? YAAASSSS!!!! Porsha's grade for the week: C (she held her own with Kenya but she should have belted for those ladies at dinner!)

Nene: Shout out to Interior Illusions!!! You Drag Race fans know what I'm talking about. You and Gregg were hilarious in the store. Gregg has such an old man sense of humor, I swear. Your acting coach is bad ass! I love her! I'm glad you're taking acting to the next level, and I hope we do see you win some awards in the future! I honestly think it would be so cool for a HW to make it to that point. Your ShoeDazzle event was going great until Kenya busted in (and busted out if you know what I mean), and your reaction gave me my title for this week's blog, so thank you. I hope you took Kenya aside and read her for bringing her shenanigans to your party. Not cool. Nene's grade for the week: A (she's staying busy and keeping her cool despite Kenya's antics).

Kandi: Thank you for once again trying to explain to Kenya why it was wrong of her to go after Phaedra's product. Not that she listened to you, AGAIN. But you tried. As for your comments about Porsha's singing, maybe give her a chance to show you what she can do. I understand why you're skeptical, though. It cracked me up when Bravo showed us that you and Todd had picked Cash for your future son's name - because that's how you pay for everything (bloop!) ... especially because Kim decided to name her son Kash. But hey, there's nothing wrong with two kids having similar names. I LOVED that you and Nene were so friendly at her charity event and that you left the Talls vs. Smalls stuff in the past. It's probably a lot easier to get along with the cast without certain people pulling you towards their side for their own selfish reasons. Kandi's grade for the week: B+ (she is not backing down with Kenya and I love that).

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RHOA - You Damn Lyin' - Kandi Burruss

Happy Friday and thanks again for starting your weekend with my judgmental ass! Now, my ass has a say in this blog (when does it not?), because this week on RHOA we had the battle of the booties. Yes, this argument was on broadcast television nationwide. Thank you, Bravo. The question remains: would you rather have a donkey booty or a stallion booty? Here's my take on it. Donkey booty is Phaedra's thing - she made it into her trademark of sorts. She's been talking about her donkey booty since she arrived on RHOA and it's a running joke that's garnered a lot of attention and love from the viewers. She owns that. Kenya, on the other hand, is still brand new here. We don't know her. We really don't know her because she's made it so difficult to like her with all of her extra behavior. So, we're not exactly ready for her to come at us with any sort of product, to be perfectly honest. Plus, the name Stallion Booty or Stallion Work Out, whatever it is, is a direct attack on Phaedra's original product. Why on Earth would Kenya come for Phaedra with that name? More on this later, but if I had to choose, I'd have to go with the original, the Donkey Booty, because I appreciate originality and taking something that belongs to you and capitalizing on it. The word stallion never came out of Kenya until this week's show. Just saying. Enough about that. Let's start the weekend and give these girls their grades for the week.

Cynthia: I LOVED the scene where you were rehearsing with the kids for the fashion show!!! That was such a great scene and all those kids were awesome. Not many people know this, but I was in a fashion show when I was little - probably like 7 or 8 - and it was so much fun. Alas, that's where my modeling career began and ended, but enough about me. The fashion show was a complete success, which is a great reflection on your business, so I'm super happy for you. When you and Phaedra were talking in spell-talk I was cracking up, you two are way too good at that! Hilarious! Cynthia's grade for the week: A (I'm so proud of her modeling agency's success!).

Kenya: I understand you couldn't just let a juicy distribution deal go to waste, but seriously, you came for Ms. Parks with your Stallion work out video. Let's be all the way real, you wanted to take her idea and top it. Which didn't necessarily need to be a bad thing, but you turned it into a bad thing with your approach, your attitude, and your whole demeanor. Once again, your negativity ruined any good you could have accomplished. Why not call it the Miss USA Work Out? Something that has to do with YOU??? But like I said before, you did it to spite Phaedra and you will learn that the majority of the viewers do not like that sort of behavior. Really, spite doesn't get you far with us. Kenya's grade for the week: F (despite the fact that she clearly had a good distribution deal, she did not have to go after Phaedra so hard, it was ugly).

Phaedra: I like the way you handled yourself, and more than anything, how you reacted on the phone with Kandi! That was hilarious! That's the Phaedra I want to see/hear all the time!!! I think I'm more on your side now because you made it clear that you're not going down without a fight and you will take Miss Kenya to task for trying to bite your idea. I like that. Phaedra's grade this week: A (she is sassy and I love it!).

Kandi: I was going to tell you that calling Phaedra right after Derek J told you about Kenya's video was kinda childish, but you explained on Watch What Happens Live that you felt like you owed it to her to give her the scoop, since you're closer to her than you are to Kenya. Fair enough. Your scene with Kenya was hilarious, because you kept trying to explain to Kenya where she was wrong and she just kept missing the point over and over again. Talk about exhausting. I just want you to put her in her place one good time! Kandi's grade for the week: B (once she explained why she called Phaedra right away, it made a lot more sense to me).

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RHOA - "Ladies, Gentlemen, Girls, and Queens" - Kenya Moore

Happy Friday! As most of you know, I will be posting ALL blogs (about all shows) on Fridays from now on. So, just think of it as your weekly recap of all things ridiculous and reality show related. If there are any show you want me to watch/blog about, please let me know!

So, this week's RHOA centered around, what else, the donkey booty workout dvd. I love that Phaedra keeps calling it a "tape". That's a throwback and it makes me laugh. Anyway, I would just give my take on the Kenya vs. Phaedra mess, but of course I have to give my two cents on some of the other ladies who were featured in this episode. Reminder time, if your favorite gal is not in the blog this week, it just means she didn't make an impression on me.

By the way, is it just me or does every single episode start with Nene? I think Bravo is making sure she stays on for another season!

Nene: I love the Hollywood storyline and especially the behind the scenes look at what it's like to work on a sitcom. I've been very vocal all season about how much I like you on the show this season and that has not changed. I do think it's a wise decision to delegate some things to Gregg, but he's right, you've got to let go of the control so he can prove to you that he can actually take care of things. I learned that from the movie Date Night. Nene's grade for the week: A (keep working hard and PS I LOVED your Golden Globe outfit, courtesy of Carolina Herrera).

Kenya: Besides the whole Walter is gay thing, which I have no idea whether to believe or not, I really like your cousin!!! She needs to be on the show! I need to get to know her better. Anyway, let's just jump into the Phaedra/Donkey Booty debacle. First of all, we get it! You secured a distribution deal! No need to keep repeating yourself. Having said that, I agree with you. You deserve some compensation for securing that deal. However, did you really do all that work without securing a contract for yourself first? I'm just not sure why you would jump into all this work for a "friend" and not cover your ass before doing so. Seems a little naive to me. Especially because you claim to be such a business savvy professional. I'm just saying. Secure your check first before you go doing anyone any favors. But I'm sure you've learned that lesson by now. I have to clock you for approaching Todd about this bullshit at his birthday party. No, no, no. Kandi was right to shut that conversation down asap. You shouldn't have even bothered with that at that moment. You should have told Phaedra, "Ok, work with Todd. I'll cancel this distribution deal and we'll forget this ever happened." But no, you had to make another scene at the Bailey Agency (by the way, I am LOVING that you and Cynthia are good girlfriends now) and tell Phaedra that this made you sick and you're out. I think what's exhausting about you is that you are just a DRAMA QUEEN. Everything has to be a huge production with you! Hun, it's not that serious. You could have dealt with all this in a much more mature manner, because frankly in this episode, you were whiney as hell. And what sucks is, you were actually right! But your attitude made me forget that! I must give you credit for your exit from the Bailey Agency, which gave me the perfect title for this week's blog, so thank you. Kenya's grade for the week: C (you were right about the distribution deal - now you got me repeating it - but you really needed to let it go and stop talking about it).

Phaedra: Here's the issue. You think you're doing Kenya a favor, and she thinks she's doing you a favor. Take a page from my book: "THERE ARE NO FAVORS!" You are absolutely right about not asking for a fee to connect one person to the other, and I agree, you did not actually partner with Kenya in any way, shape, or form. But, you did accept her help and you did tell her that money was no object. So, WHY would you freak out over her budget? You should have told her that since no contract had been signed, you wanted to shop around, and that her distribution deal could still be on the table if she wanted to wait and see what other offers you got. The whole thing was just handled completely wrong from what we saw on the show. Furthermore, if you were going to talk to Todd and get a bid from him, you should have made it crystal clear to Kenya from the beginning that you were entertaining other offers. Or was that implied? It's so hard to tell on the show what other conversation have taken place before the drama. I actually respect the fact that you want to negotiate, but you needed to clue Kenya in because she actually thought she was the only game in town. You were absolutely right when you said you had defended Kenya in the past and that's why it's so odd to me that you wouldn't let her know that she wasn't your only choice. Phaedra's grade for the week: C (I feel the Kenya thing was mishandled and there was a lot of miscommunication because you said money was no object in last week's episode).

Kandi: I mentioned Riley this week, so I feel compelled to compliment you on letting her know how LUCKY she is and how out of touch she is with how most kids live. I think it would be good for her to do some charity work with underprivileged kids, homeless kids, etc so she can have that appreciation for everything she has. At any rate, I thought you put her in her place and I had to give you credit for that. Todd's birthday surprises were great, and I could tell he really appreciated all of the sweet things you did for him. And that dress! Those shoes! The hair!! You looked amazing!! I'm so happy you found your teammate, we're all so happy for you. Now, let me just give you a digital high five and YES GAWD! for shutting Kenya down when she wanted to talk about the Donkey Booty bullshit. I was LIVING for you telling her to basically get lost and get her life and have several seats all at the same time. YAAAASSSSS!!!!!! Kandi's grade for the week: A (you were giving me LIFE this week!)

Cynthia: Kudos to you for cancelling the casting call and putting Phaedra in her place for advertising something she didn't pay for. LOL! I just had to give you a shout out for that. I also respect the fact that you can be cool with Kenya and actually be impartial about the whole Donkey Booty situation. Cynthia gets an Honorable Mention instead of a grade this week!

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RHOA - Who Mistakes Kenya for Beyonce?

This week’s RHOA was another snooze-fest. Honestly, I don’t even think it warrants a blog, but I’m going to give you one anyway, just because I promised you I would. I don’t like to break my promises. But, Bravo, seriously, this show is getting BORING. I don’t want these girls at each other’s throats but damn. I want some excitement. Some laughs! A little drama at the very least! Let’s grade these ladies (who made an impression on me this week) and get on with our lives, shall we?

Kenya: Walter, Walter, Walter. That’s all you’re about and it’s also what’s killing you on this show. Yes, he was a dick to you on the fishing trip. So much so that I wanted you to hook that fishing line right in his eyeball. But I digress. I’m not sure if you’re loving that Walter is making you look like the victim right now, or if you’re just pissed because he’s not playing along with your engagement storyline. Either way, it’s old. Your Beyonce comment was hilarious and while I’m sure someone has told you that you resemble her (I want to meet this person and get them some glasses), I highly doubt that EVERY DAY there is someone mistaking you for her. Please. I also have to call you out for recycling Nene’s buzzing re: Bedroom Kandi. You really need someone to help you be original on this show. Kenya’s grade for the week: C (only because Walter made her look sympathetic – for now).

Kandi: I know I may get into trouble for saying this, but if I spoke on an adult’s relationship like Riley did in this episode when I was her age, I would have had my ass handed to me. Now, I know I grew up in a different time and kids are heard AND seen nowadays, but when I was a kid, I was NEVER heard (hence, why I’m in therapy). But seriously, Riley is clearly comfortable enough to express herself with you and Todd, and that’s great, but I would say, in the future, it should NOT happen on camera. Riley is a sweet girl and very smart but it just came across a little disrespectful for her to tell you about your relationship in such a blunt manner. Moving on, I totally agree with you about your choice to have a prenup, especially in your case. You are so smart for thinking ahead about that kind of stuff. I gotta shout out my girl Issae Rae (“Awkward Black Girl”) because when I saw your outfit at Nene’s party I instantly thought of her song “Booty Shawts”! Glittery ones, at that! It was so cool to see you be sincerely happy for Nene and Gregg. I liked that a lot. Kandi’s grade for the week: B (she’s still fun and positive and I really do appreciate that).

Nene: Congratulations on becoming a Glam-Mother! LOL, I love that expression. And your Glam-Baby is so adorable. I really loved that you said even though you’re going to Hollywood, you’re a Georgia Peach forever. Nene’s grade: A (she’s doing great and I love it).

Porsha: I gotta clear up one thing, Tina kept Ike’s last name. Ok, now that I got that out of my system, I love that you don’t look at price tags when you shop. I would love to be that way, but me and Kandi are on the same page – gotta look at the price tag. I don’t even mind your stance on prenups. In your situation, you and your husband came to an agreement that you didn’t need one, and that’s perfectly fine. And no one else’s business, by the way. Your facial expression when Kenya said she gets mistaken for Beyonce was PUH-RICELESS. And when you said you look like Solange, I was like Yeah! You do! But that was a great way to bring everyone back from Kenya’s wacky comment. Still loving you on the show! Porsha’s grade for the week: B (other than mixing up the What’s Love Got to Do With It reference, it was all good this week).

Cynthia: It was really nice of you to give Nene a goodbye party and I’m sure she appreciated it. I almost fell off the couch laughing when you asked her if she was going to have a Sip & See for the baby! LOL! You were full of quips this episode, which was great – for example, when you said Walter won’t put a ring on it with Kenya/Beyonce and then flashed YOUR ring. YAAASSSSS!!!!! And who knew Peter dated Nia Long back in the day? Speaking of Peter, it was hilarious when you two reenacted the Phaedra/Apollo makeout scene, funny but still gross. Cynthia’s grade for the week: A (she made me laugh, and you know what that means!).

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RHOA - Spoiled Plotlines

I know, I know, I'm late with this blog. But in all honesty, this episode was nothing to write home about. So, this blog is going to be short and not so sweet. Come on, Bravo, we understand where you're going with all of these plotlines. Never mind the fact that Phaedra and Apollo announced they're expecting another baby this week - CONGRATULATIONS, by the way! - we know they're not breaking up. And the Kenya/Walter storyline is officially ruined. You should have re-edited the whole rest of the season after Walter spilled the beans. There's no suspense left in this show! Everything has been revealed and put out there, pretty much. However, we did get some laughs, which I'm thankful for. So, I'll just be addressing the key players in this episode. Sorry if your fave doesn't get a grade this week.

Kenya: I have to give you credit where credit is due. You knew your stuff when you met with Phaedra and Apollo about the workout dvd. However, how dare you call Phaedra unprofessional! How professional is it to ask a married couple, IN THEIR PLACE OF BUSINESS, if they like to role play? Sit down, hun. I have to talk about how you shut Porsha down at the Moscato party. First of all, you should be able to speak to someone in a calm and polite manner and listen to what they're saying without being condescending and rude. You could have resolved things that very night, but instead you chose to shoot Porsha down and not even hear her out. Believe me, she didn't want to be your BFF, she just wanted to be able to be cool with you. But now, you can pretty much kick rocks. And I am sick and tired of all this Walter nonsense. Even if the relationship wasn't fake, this is just stupid. You should have picked a better actor, because the scenes with you and Walter are painful to watch. Kenya's grade for the week: D (the little bit of good I saw this week was completely overshadowed by the inappropriateness, the mean girl attitude, and the idiocy of her relationship with Walter).

Cynthia: You are going to get so much flack for saying your marriage will outlast some other marriages. I'm sure you meant it as a joke, but anytime you make a broad statement like that, people are going to be up in arms. I also wanted to address how bothered you were by Kordell at the Moscato party - you have to realize he was intoxicated and probably sick of hearing about Kenya, and maybe that's where the shushing and talking over Porsha was coming from. We'll have to watch and see if he's the same way when he's sober. About the strip club you picked, you know you did that on purpose! LOL! I could see that your intentions were to make sure everything was ok with Phaedra and her husband and although you had no problem talking about what you had heard, you didn't jump to conclusions and you wanted to meet with them and find out for yourself. Cynthia's grade this week: B (I like that she's speaking up and in the middle of everything this season, but some of her jokes may be offending some of her cast mates).

Phaedra: You were too funny at the strip club - shouting out your Alma Mater! I loved it! I think you handled the Apollo outbursts well, and we know he's not going anywhere. Whatever people said about your marriage, you and Apollo going strong and have another baby on the way. CONGRATULATIONS again!! I am really happy for you. And the dvd looks great! You definitely worked out whatever differences you and Apollo had regarding the workout and what the content of the dvd would be. I actually can't wait to try it. Speaking of the dvd, your conversation with Kenya was actually really positive. Even though you didn't have all the details ready for her, you still managed to have a pretty productive meeting. Like I mentioned before, you handled all of Apollo's comments about your marriage really well. He's still very young and has no filter when tequila is involved, apparently. As long as you know that and can reign him in when needed, I don't think you two will have any major blow ups. Just don't do the whole make-out-in-front-of-people-with-sound-effects thing ever again. Phaedra's grade for the week: C (took points away for all that nasty sloppy kissing in public, gross).

Porsha: Good for you for trying to clear the air with Kenya. Too bad she was too immature to make things right with you, but hey, you tried. About Kordell, unfortunately the camera caught him talking over you and shushing you, not a great look, but I think it was the shots, to be honest. Porsha's grade for the week: A (she tried with Kenya and that's more than I would have done, so good for her).

That's it for this week's blog! What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

RHOA - How to Lose a Guy in 1 Vacation

Well, my lovelies, we're back with Real Housewives of Atlanta, still in the beautiful island paradise that is Anguilla. We return with Miss Kenya Gone With the Wind Fabulous Moore, and honeeeeyyyyy, this episode was not to my liking. This blog is going to be brief, just like this episode should have been. I swear, they give us one jam packed episode then one that's all fluff.

I'm just saying, I needed a bit more in this episode because really, nothing actually happened. Everything that occurred was already known, implied, and/or assumed. So, we really just got a big platter full of "we already knew that". But let's get into the grades anyway.

Kenya: I felt pity for you on this episode. That's all I can really say. You were too much giving Cynthia the book, as if she didn't already know Ms. Vanessa Williams' importance. I don't know if you thought it would be funny, but Cynthia gave it right back to you and you had no choice but to stay seated. Now, as for the Walter stuff. None of it makes sense. What kind of man do you know that would want to be dragged into a proposal? You were expecting it (allegedly) because he was playing along with you on the beach in that previous conversation. This is why I believe you did manufacture this relationship. You wanted to have sympathy points. You knew he would flip out at all the marriage talk and that way you could sit there looking pitiful and get us to come around and be on your side. Not gonna happen. We viewers are way too smart for that. Kenya's grade for the week: F (that's a fail for trying to pull one over on us).

Porsha: I was dying laughing when Kordell asked you like three times what you did to Kenya! Like he knew you had to have pushed her buttons somehow. Which you kind of did but it didn't warrant her out of control response, as I stated in my last RHOA blog. This episode, you really kept it together and didn't call her out again - partly because she wouldn't let you get a word in. I think you're absolutely right about that "pageant apology" - it was not an apology at all. And you did what you had to do to make the trip palatable for you and everyone else. You let it go. The raisin face comments? A little below the belt, but it made me laugh, so I can't be mad. Porsha's grade for the week: B (she behaved on the trip but got her digs in on her interviews).

Cynthia: Once again, you stood up for yourself, spoke up for yourself, and put Kenya on the ground, literally! I was SO happy when you put her in her place. Kenya has now learned not to fuck with you and that makes me so proud. You have really planted your flag on this season! I'm just happy you were able to end the whole Kenya conversation with a hug and a laugh. Because that's what it should be on this show - the shade and the laughs. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (she said what she needed to say and she was able to get her point across without any unnecessary drama).

Kandi: I love that you and Nene talked about your differences in the past and got to a good place on this trip. That was way overdue. And I think you were partial to siding with Kim in the past. But you have seen the light - Kim is not a true friend and anything she told you to dissuade you from being cool with Nene is now irrelevant. So, I'm happy you two reconnected and expressed your feelings for each other. Nene is a much better person now and we all see that. And I loved that Todd was working on the vacation. I don't know why but that just made me like him even more. Kandi's grade for the week: A (she is all about the positive so far this season and I'm loving it).

Phaedra: You were really there for Kenya and I appreciate that. You're a better woman than I could have been. Especially after the shenanigans she was pulling with Apollo at the beginning of the vacation. I loved when you said she was out in the forest without a stun gun! You better work that product placement, Phaedra! And on a serious note, you were telling the truth when you said people who want to get engaged haven't been married. It's so true. I'm not married but I know marriage is not the answer to anyone's problems, nor does it fix anything. It's work and it's not easy. So, thank you for putting real knowledge out there for us to benefit from. Phaedra's grade for the week: A (she was so sweet to take care of Kenya, because I know I would have left her out in the forest).

Nene: You had so many good lines this week, it was hard to keep track, so keep that going all season please! I loved the Zen/Yoga/Booty Popping class on the beach. That was hilarious. You know we're watching Housewives of Atlanta when there's booty involved! But seriously, I think your conversation with Kandi was great. I loved that you were real and honest with her and you both came to a nice reconciliation. The whole trip you were just having fun and making it a great time for everyone. At the dinner where Walter set the record straight, you were telling the truth about asking for an engagement for sure. Your advice was spot on. I hope Kenya listens to you for her next relationship. And I think it's nice that you and Greg are so in love again. Nene's grade for the week: A (she had JOKES this week, some more raunchy than others, but she was really fun this week).

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RHOA - Angst, Anguish, and Anguilla

Hello again, kids! I'm all caught up on RHOA and I have A LOT to say. But first, let me just clarify that although I watched the last three episodes of RHOA, I'll mostly just cover what happened in last night's episode, just because that's where we're at in the season. So I won't be getting into too much of what happened in the other two episodes, with the exception of Kim's exit. I will be going deep about that.

So let's get started!

Kim: Your exit was welcomed, expected, and overdue. I could not believe you sat there at that table and made up lie after lie after lie just to finally quit the show. For that, you should have just walked in, said, "I'm not going on the trip" and walked back out again. You straight up said Kroy was going with you to Anguilla and then ten seconds later, said you were not going to Anguilla after all. And I have to call you out on something. You kept saying in interviews that the reason you left the show was that the ladies were being violent towards you and you couldn't stay on a show like that. NO ONE was being violent or threatening you in the slightest. So, what exactly are you talking about? Lies! You don't want to be on this show anymore. You want your spinoff (which you have, God knows why) and you want to leave RHOA behind. Great! Good for you! But here's the problem. You think you're going to have spinoff success (a la Bethenny) but I honestly do not see that happening. I don't see you as a Bethenny type of personality - besides the fact that she's at least likable to most of the viewers. Sure, your spinoff has a following, but it will not last. Mark my words. You alienating the RHOA cast will be the worst decision you ever made - for your career. Believe it or not, you will need those contacts someday. I'm glad you're off the show and I never have to watch you and your stank attitude ever again. Kim's grade for the week: A+ (for leaving the show, of course!)

Porsha: I am still liking you a lot. You really are just a normal, sweet girl. I'll forgive you for the 265 days a year thing because I think you were starstruck with Nene and Cynthia. I think that was all nerves but it was funny. It's not a crime to be a little ditsy, anyway. I give you major credit for letting Cynthia know about Kenya dropping it in front of Peter (and yes, she did shake it, but you kept that part to yourself). I feel like you had Cynthia's back on that. As for your blow up with Kenya - you did get heated when you were explaining the whole charity event incident to Nene. I think that's what got Kenya all fired up. Then, when Kenya was taken away from you, you went after her and started it up again. You should have just went to your villa and left Kenya alone. You going after her was a mistake. Oh, and he was Filipino, not Chinese. Porsha's grade for the week: C (she kept the fight going and that was unnecessary).

Nene: You gave me EVERYTHING these last few episodes. This is the Nene we love. You raised your voice for just a moment at Kim and then composed yourself just in time to see her flee the scene. She knew you were about to let her have it and she just couldn't take it. I loved you and Greg together in Anguilla, and I think you two are definitely falling back in love with each other. Yay! You were hilarious calling Kenya out on her shenanigans, too, by the way. I just love that you're giving us COMEDY now. And you stepped in and tried to keep Kenya and Porsha from physically fighting with each other, so I give you credit for that, too. Nene's grade for the week: A (for making me laugh again).

Kandi: I have a major bone to pick with you. Why on Earth would you invite Kenya to that brunch knowing this was Peter and Cynthia's trip? It wasn't up to you to invite anyone else, unless you talked to Peter and Cynthia first. Or maybe someone (cough cough producers cough cough) put you up to it? Anyway, I really like you and Todd together and you seemed like you were having a great time in Anguilla. I don't think the little hot air balloon not taking off on the beach was an omen at all, by the way. You and Todd have great chemistry. Kandi's grade for the week: B (because bringing Kenya to the brunch so she could invite herself on the trip was wrong as hell).

Phaedra: I have to give you a lot of credit. You made sure EVERYONE knew you were NOT having Kenya's bullshit. And I don't blame you! You made it clear that her antics were not appreciated, so hopefully she respects that and leaves Apollo alone. Now, it's also a little bit on Apollo, too, because he did not have to engage in the flirtation with her. He could have been polite and quiet with her, not participate in all that pool play. That was totally unnecessary and I'm sure you told him so. Keep putting Kenya in her place! And I am so happy you 'fessed up to Cynthia and apologized. Well done. Phaedra's grade for the week: A (I am loving Phaedra right now).

Cynthia: I'll say it again, you are my GIRL right now! I am really enjoying you this season. You're having fun but also giving the drama without being out of control. You were irritated with Kenya's little stunt (dancing with Peter) but you let it go for the sake of the trip, and you recognized everyone was in the party mood and it may not have been malicious. But you're keeping your eye on her and with good reason. The vow renewal was beautiful! It is so nice to see you and Peter being lovey dovey and so into each other. Congratulations on the renewal of your vows! Cynthia's grade for the week: A (for spicing it up this season!).

Kenya: Gurl. You are out of control. And not in a good way. Now that we know Walter was playing the role of your boyfriend to give you a storyline on this show, all of the foolishness you're giving us is just sad. We can't even laugh at you because what you did to be on this show was so desperate and unnecessary. If you're that successful, why even bother lying about your relationship status? You should have been the single one on the show! There is nothing wrong with that, and it would have given us some variety since all the ladies are now either married or in serious relationships. You are so dumb for this, Kenya. Really. But let's talk about all the ho shit - I mean, flirting you did in the last three episodes. First of all, the flirting is a real turn off. You're talking to a married man in front of his wife and your "boyfriend" like there's no one else around. See? This is why you can't be trusted. If you do this shit when people are around, what are you capable of when there's no one watching? Then the pool thing. Stupid and made you look so common. Like a trashy, common slut. Then dropping it in front of Peter. You are lucky Cynthia didn't see it. Then, you verbally accosted the nice Filipino man and practically threw yourself at him. Not cute. Walter was right to ask you if you took your meds. Which reminds me, you weren't even supposed to be on this trip, and you have the balls to complain about your room?? I can't. I just can't. Now, let's just touch on you acting like Nene isn't totally right about you and Walter. You're caught. Deal with it. As for your fight with Porsha, you really must have been drunk to take what she said and turn it into a screaming match. Yes, she was explaining her side of the story so it was favoring her. But you could have easily stated your case and done it in a classy way, since you say you're so classy and educated. You showed your true colors, Kenya. You're desperate for attention on a reality show and you'll make a fool out of yourself to get it. Kenya's grade for the week: F (for being fake, phony, desperate, and for being a liar).

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RHOA - Lies and Complaints

Sunday's Real Housewives of Atlanta was not the best episode this season, by far. The best episode will be this coming up Sunday when Kim quits the show. Hallelujah!!! I will be praise dancing all up and down my living room for sure! But until then, let's talk about this pretty tame episode. It wasn't really that juicy at all. Phaedra's son's birthday party and her alleged butt dial conversation, Kim moving (how long does it really take to move? She's been moving since the first episode this season!), and Kenya's boyfriend meets her family. Nothing major here. So from now on, I'm only going to grade the key players in each episode. If you don't get a grade, that means you weren't on the show that week or your role was not relevant to what happened in the episode.

So, here we go.

Kim: Seriously, how long does it take to pack up a house? Even a huge house like that one? You had help! Anyway, you continued to have a sh*tty attitude which was then mirrored back to you by everyone in that house. I will leave that there, you can read into it what you will. You went back to your townhouse, which is perfectly fine for your family, by the way, and everything seems like it will be ok. But no. Where will you tan? Ummm, are you f*cking kidding me? I am just going to say again, I can't wait for you to leave this show. You contribute nothing, you complain constantly, and you're not one bit grateful for what you have. If you were, you wouldn't have that stank look on your face all the time. No one cares that you didn't go to Ayden's party because all you would have done there is complain anyway. Kim's grade for the week: F (I don't find her funny or charming, and she gets on every single one of my nerves).

Kandi: You are 100% right about Kim. She didn't move out quietly and do things like a grown, mature, adult woman, because she's NOT. But, I totally agree with you about that whole situation. I can see that Kim's comments about your house bothered you, so I say tell her to her face that you didn't like what she said. Put her in her place! Moving on, I think you could have had your mom live in the little guest house on your property, but if she has her own place and she's comfortable, that may not be necessary right now. I think if she ever needed to live with you, you would make sure that happened, but that's just my take on it. As for Ayden's party, it was hilarious when you said Phaedra's events are like marathons. Apparently! But hey, you showed up and I'm sure she appreciated it. Kandi's grade for the week: B (she needs to tell Kim how she feels).

Phaedra: Let's cut to the chase. You're a liar. When someone confronts you and you dodge the issue and change the subject? Ding ding ding! You've been caught, hun! If you would have just said, "Yes, Cynthia, I said that when I was in the middle of planning this party, and I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry", this whole thing would have been over. Just like when you refused to come clean about how far along you were in the pregnancy. Everybody knows when you're caught, you're caught. Making a fool out of yourself to get out of telling the truth is just stupid. I can't really understand why you went through so much foolishness just to avoid being real with Cynthia. Phaedra's grade for the week: F (she couldn't take responsibility for what she said, no matter what the reason for saying it, she should have just owned it).

Kenya: We get it. You want to get married. It just seems to me that if you have to do this much convincing, the guy may just not be that into you. Relax! I think you're used to bulldozing over people to get what you want and it's time to stop. Just be the best person you can be and let things happen. You're trying to force everything and it comes across as controlling and overbearing. Not a good look. Dropping hints is not gonna make a man propose any faster. Again, if you have to do this much work, is he really the one for you? Just saying. And I don't even care that you didn't cook that meal. No judgment on that from me. Lest I be judged. Kenya's grade for the week: D (she is forcing things to happen instead of letting them happen and I think that's a huge mistake).

Cynthia: The fury on your face when you heard Phaedra say that she didn't give a f*ck if you came to the party was priceless. I liked the fact that you confronted her about it and even told her you could play the message for her. Now, I don't know where that message came from, but for whatever reason (cough cough producers cough cough), you got a hold of it. And you sat Phaedra down and asked her point blank why she said it. Because you ladies were cool with each other. So it does seem odd that she would say that. I think you handled yourself well on this one. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (she went straight to Phaedra with her concerns, even though she got an absolutely idiotic response).

Nene: Your comedy this episode was on point, from the facial expressions to the jokes, I was LIVING. Nene-haters be damned, you are funny. Of course you had to show Cynthia the message from Phaedra (cough cough producers cough cough), so you did your job. Hey, if this is your last season, you might as well facilitate the drama and stand on the sidelines and watch with the rest of us. Nene's grade for the week: A (for bringing the comedy, I loved it).

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RHOA - Introducing Porsha

Sunday's RHOA put me in two very different, very opposite moods. On one hand, I was in heaven while watching the New York scenes. In a couple of weeks, it'll be a year since I was there, and I miss it so much. I have never lived there, always just visited, but my heart has always belonged to New York. If you're interested in the backstory, let me know. On the other hand, some of these ladies make me want to take a sledgehammer to my poor old television. Why must some people always find a way to ruin everything?

Let's get to the grades, kids!

Nene: It is so cute to watch Greg try to win you back!! He wants those keys, dammit!! I don't know why, but it doesn't gross me out to see him woo you. I'm not sure why, and I'm not going to apologize for it. Watching you in New York was awesome - not because of you though, no offense. Just New York in general. You know you will probably never take the subway, but Cynthia is right, when you're in New York it's just something you have to experience. At least once! You were being a little snooty in the subway at first but then you met some fans, and I'll be honest. I thought you were going to be short with them. But you weren't! You were friendly and kind and really sweet to them. I guess us Twitter people aren't so bad after all? I'm so happy for all your success, and I think the success has changed you - but for the better. You're in a good place and it shows. You aren't bitter or mean or jealous and I am happy about that. Nene's grade for the week: B (for being happy and busy with her career).

Kim: I've been done with you, but you're still on the show so I have to address you. I am sorry you have to move out of your place and back into the townhouse. Maybe you shouldn't have spent money on landscaping for a house that wasn't yours yet. I'm very glad Kroy taught you how to use the fire extinguisher, he's a good man. Kim's grade for the week: F (because it's nothing but complain, complain, complain with her).

Kandi: We didn't see much of you this week, but I'm so excited to see how your house will look when you're all moved in. Your family members seem so nice and fun to be around. Kandi's grade for the week: N/A.

Phaedra: I would advise you to make Kenya sign all kinds of contracts before you commit to working with her production company. I don't trust her and neither should you. Phaedra's grade for the week: C (because she is not seeing the crazy in Kenya yet and she needs to).

Cynthia: I love love LOVE your enthusiasm about New York. You were a great tour guide and the perfect person to take Nene to see the real New York. And that hot dog looked delicious! I'm so glad you were there with Nene. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (because she was so positive and bubbly this week).

Porsha: Welcome to the madness! I hope you're ready! You did come off as a ditzy girl, but in my book, you redeemed yourself by the end of the episode. You seem like a nice girl who enjoys life and maybe isn't too deep, but is a genuinely good person. I'm not mad at that. You have a great backstory, a lovely family, and you seem really happy with your life. I don't think you're malicious or mean at all. And that's why I know it was an honest mistake when you called Kenya Miss America. You weren't being shady. Your charity event was very nice, from what I saw, but then again, I don't know anything about charity galas. So, I may not be the best critic on that. What I do know is behavior. And you handled Kenya so well. I was standing up applauding you. You didn't need more than one episode to figure out that she's a mess, so you put your foot down right then and there. And that "search engine" line? I was LIVING!!! I like you! Porsha's grade for the week: A (because despite her ditziness, she spotted Kenya's crazy and shut that sh*t DOWN!).

Kenya: You need to get off this show. This show isn't going to be any good for you. What you need is to continue therapy and get yourself together. I am so sorry your mother is suffering from mental illness, and I'm especially sorry that you suffered any kind of pain because of that. But you have to recognize that you are not mentally stable. You said you were hell on wheels before, but what do you think you are now? You fly off the handle for a simple mistake like Porsha saying you were Miss America? It was an honest mistake, and yes, she looked dumb for not saying the right title. You don't have to make it worse by being rude about it. When Porsha's husband came to the charity event with her gift and cake, your face told the story. You're jealous. You're bitter. You're not well. You created a whole scenario in your mind to be angry about and then you acted on it. You left the event and called Porsha names. I cannot condone you being on this show. Unless you go to therapy and show us that you're working on becoming emotionally stable. Kenya's grade for the week: F (because I will not condone her being on this show in her mental state).

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RHOA Season 5 Episode 2 - Mock Up

I'm back, kids! I hope you all had a great Veterans' Day weekend. Mine was pretty awesome, which explains how behind I am on blogging. I just want to thank you all for your patience with me. I'll try to stay on top of it from now on, but you know me, when I have a chance to get some time off, I usually go berserk and forget about everything else. Not an excuse, I know. But still. Anyway, I'm so glad I watched RHOA, because I have a question that need to be answered.

Why are we wasting so much time on Kenya? She isn't likable, she isn't interesting, and she isn't fun. At all. Maybe Bravo thinks they need to give us so much backstory on her because she causes major drama this season, but I'm here to tell you - ya don't. We're good. I was full on fed up with Kenya last week. I don't need to see her for almost half of the episode. Unnecessary, Bravo.

So why don't we give out some grades? This is gonna be fun.

Kenya: Like I said before, you're coming across as messy and unstable. Your scene with Walter was cringe-worthy at best. You had no reason (except insecurity) to get so pressed about Walter asking Kandi out on a date. I'm pretty sure he's dated a lot of women, and he was just trying to be honest with you like you asked him to. I also have to address the lies you told at your lunch with Kandi and Phaedra. You were not invited by Jet, you were invited by Cynthia, and your bodyguard didn't throw anyone out of anywhere. What world are you living in? I think you may be the most immature 41 year old in Housewives history (and that's saying a lot). Why would you mock Cynthia's speech at her party? Was it because she wasn't praising you? It seems to me that the only time you're happy is when it's all about you. How sad. Then you have the nerve to take the microphone and call it a clown show? You are the clown, honey. Are you not the least bit self aware? The only scene that made me not hate you was the scene with your aunt. Now, I like her. In that scene, you seemed real. You were open and honest. You weren't putting anyone else down. Why can't you be that girl with the rest of the cast? It makes me think you're faking the attitude and putting on an act so that you'll have more camera time. And I don't like that. Especially when you make it so painfully obvious. Round 2 with Cynthia was hilarious, because you are so eager to make sure Nene likes you, but two minutes before you were making fun of the entire event? Fake, fake, fake. Kenya's grade for the week: F (because she's acting like a nutbag).

Nene: I like that you're so calm and peaceful this season. Success agrees with you. I think the standout moment of this episode for you was when you were friendly and engaging with Kim and Sweetie and they clearly had no idea what to do. True, you've fought with cast members in the past, but I can see a change in you. In fact, last season, when you were in Africa, you were the peace maker. So, it isn't really new. You've been in the process of changing for a while, now. So, I think it's great that you are being so positive and uplifting this season. You were great with Phaedra and you were more than nice to Kim. I give you credit for that. You're not bringing up old sh*t - you're on to bigger and better things. The idea to make the party about all successful women was a great idea. And you look great this season, by the way. You handled Kenya well and I can't wait to see how you deal with the rest of the ladies now that you're in a much better place personally and professionally. Nene's grade for the week: A (because she's being super positive and I love it - and if it's all an act, may she win an Oscar!).

Kim: You continue to shock me with your foul language and behavior. Here's a thought. If you really don't want to go to an event, DON'T GO! You're not doing anyone any favors by showing up, having stank look on your face, and sneaking out early. Who does that? And Sweetie, you're a mess. How can you say that the event was boring when you weren't talking to anyone and you were glued to your phone? Come on. Back to Kim, I'm real happy for you that you got your bracelet from your wedding for your birthday. That was nice. But if I have to hear you say "We're homeless" one more time, I'm going to rip my eardrums out. It's always a complaint with you. Why can't you just be grateful for what you have? You have a townhouse. Great. You're going to look for a bigger home. Great. Why do we have to hear all this bullsh*t? When are you quitting the show again? Kim's grade for the week: F (because I'm over her and all her whining).

Kandi: I really like you, but you're gonna have to answer for a few things. Why would you laugh and entertain Kenya's insults about Cynthia at lunch? I thought you and Cynthia were cool? Did I miss something? Also, you laughed when Kenya was mocking Cynthia at the party, as well. I just didn't think you would play along with something like that. You usually speak up and defend your friends. So, I'm not sure what was going on there. Maybe you were just laughing to avoid getting Kenya on your bad side. But really, do you want to be friends with such a loose cannon? Well, you were friends with Kim - see where that got you? Maybe you're just too nice. You need to have some higher standards when it comes to picking friends. That's all I'm saying. I do like your friendship with Phaedra. You two are a much better fit when it comes to your personalities. I really like Todd, too. And Riley is so pretty! She's becoming such a beautiful young lady. Kandi's grade for the week: C (because I can't get behind her laughing with Kenya at everyone else's expense - I need to know where Kandi stands when it comes to Cynthia).

Cynthia: I am still on your side. You threw a great event in Nene's honor, and Kenya disrespected you, again. Who gave her the microphone? You have always been very supportive of Nene (some would say to a fault, but not me) and you've always praised her publicly. I don't know why that's so funny to Kenya. I think it's great for one woman to show another how much she respects her. When Kenya was trying to make sure Nene would give her a chance, you should have let them just finish their conversation. It was a little rude of you to jump in, but I understand why you did it. This was after Kenya disrespected you for the second time. So, in your mind, it could have been go time. At any rate, I loved the shade about when she won her crown. It's true! Before this show, I had no idea this girl even existed! And if she's going to dish it out, she better be able to take it. You keep saying it like you mean it, Cynthia, but I will say - be prepared for whatever Kenya the wackjob is going to do and say. And you're right. Her ugliness on the inside makes her ugly on the outside. You win! Cynthia's grade for the week: B (because she's still standing up for herself, but she should have stayed out of Nene and Kenya's conversation at the party - just to show she is the bigger person).

Phaedra: The scene with you, Nene, and Cynthia working out was hilarious! I think it's great that you can put the past behind you and have a good time with Nene. And I was so happy to see you laugh about "Fakedra"! This is what we love about you. You can take all of this with a grain of salt because this show isn't your whole world. You may want to teach Kenya a little about that. I really have no beef with you, other than what I already said to Kandi. You shouldn't be egging Kenya on when she makes fun of Cynthia (or anyone else for that matter). I'm wondering if she thinks it's ok because you and Kandi are laughing with her? Is that really the message you want to send? Especially now that you are getting along with everyone? I would nip this Kenya thing in the bud now. She's out of control and you don't want to support that. Phaedra's grade for the week: C (because I love how she's getting along with everyone but she needs to stop playing like she condones what Kenya is doing).

You may be hating that I'm Team Cynthia, but really - when you look at Kenya's behavior, how can you not be? Kenya has made herself look like a crazy person. She's done it to herself and I'm just calling it like I see it.

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RHOA Season 5 Premiere – Don’t Come for Me

Can I just say how excited I am for this season of Real Housewives of Atlanta? Super excited! I love (most of) these ladies, and I think the additions to the cast will spice this season up for sure. I’m so glad we’re getting away from the same old Nene vs. Kim drama that we’ve been seeing for the past few seasons. (And who else didn’t even notice Sheree was gone? Me too. Shhh!) Although this first episode started off pretty tame, by the end of it, we saw fireworks between Cynthia and Kenya. I was LIVING!!! I cannot wait to see how the season plays out.

Let’s grade these gals, shall we?

Nene: You seem really happy this season! It’s great that you and Greg are focusing on each other (your words) and you’re not actively dating anyone else. I think it’s sweet that Greg is trying to win you back. I don’t know what his motives are, but I think you’re smart enough to know if he’s sincere or not. Congratulations on all your acting successes. Glee and The New Normal are huge accomplishments, and I’m proud of you for pursuing your dream of being an actress. Now, I was upset with you last season for speaking in a not-so-kind manner about your fans (aka “twitter people”), but I’m willing to give you a second chance. Mostly because you’re obviously in a better place personally and professionally, and I think we may get some of that fun Nene back that we fell in love with in season 1. You threw shade at Kim with the trailer comment, but that’s nothing new. You’ve been doing that since season 1. Nene’s grade for the week: C (I’m giving her another chance. She really disappointed me last season.)

Kandi: I’m so happy you’re in love! Todd seems like a great guy! Wishing you nothing but the best!!! On to the drama with Kim and Sweetie. First of all, your house (although it is unfinished – but you openly said that) is gorgeous! With a guest house! You know what that was? Jealousy and bitterness. Kim is PRESSED that you’re doing well. And Sweetie has no right to say anything about your house or what you do with it. Neither of them do, for that matter. You just keep doing your thing and keep your distance from Kim. She has nothing positive to offer you. This friendship is over. And not because of you, by the way. Kandi’s grade for the week: B (because she needs to enjoy this new chapter of her life and cut Kim out of it).

Kim: Although I am happy for all the wonderful things that are happening for you right now, your attitude still sucks. I can’t get over how you go into someone else’s (obviously unfinished) home and sh*t all over it for no reason. It’s her house, she’s your friend. You are supposed to be supportive. And what was with the indoor pool comment? If I were Kandi, I would have thrown you out right then and there. Come on, Kim. Then, you make it all about you and how much you’re CHOOSING to pay to move. You got yourself into a mess leasing that house, and now it’s everyone else’s fault but your own. Kim, please. You need to stop playing the victim while you put everyone else down with your stupid comments. It wasn’t cute on season 1 and it definitely isn’t cute now. Not to mention, talking sh*t about your own parents on national television. Wow. Even if they can’t afford nice things for your kid, why say it on camera? Don’t they deserve a little discretion from you as their daughter? I can’t wait till you quit this show. Amen!!! Kim’s grade for the week: F (for being a sh*tty friend and the most negative person I’ve ever seen).

Phaedra: I respect your hustle, but that veterinarian had no use for you in her office. I honestly can’t wait to see how you do a doggie funeral (and I know people who would pay for one), so I’m not hating. I just think it’s hilarious how you always try to play the part of this professional woman, but somehow, something just isn’t quite right about it and it never goes the way it’s supposed to. Can we say “awkward”? The scene with the kids riding their little tricycles was super cute. Aiden is a doll! Phaedra’s grade for the week: C (because she’s alright, but she still has that fake-ness about her that I don’t like).

Cynthia: I love you so much this season! I’ve always liked you but now, I love you. You put Kenya in her place while she was disrespecting those girls at your school. I am so glad you said something and it’s going to be delicious watching you two go at it. If anyone still thought you were a push-over, they better think again. You are proving that you have a backbone and a voice. I will be living for your shade towards Kenya, and I don't care what anyone says about that. Keep standing up for yourself, hun! The scene with Peter and Leon was a little less enjoyable for me, only because I didn’t feel that scene really had a purpose on the show, other than showing everyone on the same page except you. Which I found to be a little unflattering to you. But you are Noelle’s mom, and I’m sure you’re doing what’s best for her no matter what. Cynthia’s grade for the week: A (because she stood up for herself, her school, and her assistant and I loved every second of it).

Kenya: Well, you certainly made an impression. Too bad it was a terrible one. Besides talking about “bling”, and besides saying you always get what you want, and besides talking about how you’re an actor/producer/author/director/hustler/model/former Miss USA (that I’ve never heard of before this show), besides all of that … what made you unlikable was your attitude and your behavior. That made you ugly, which I know is the one thing you don’t want to be. But the inner you is not pretty. And that ugliness came through loud and clear when you disrespected Cynthia, her school, her assistants, Jet magazine, and the girls who were auditioning. Exactly who are you, Kenya, to tell anyone “what are you doing here?” at an open call? It’s an open call. That’s the whole point, is for people who aren’t signed to an agency to come and audition. You could have shown the girls that you, a former Miss USA, could still be an inspiration to them, but you tore them down instead. I don’t like you, and quite frankly, I don’t think you like yourself very much. Get some help with that, but not on camera. I’m not here for you in the slightest. Kenya’s grade for the week: F (quite possibly the worst debut episode for a cast member in Housewives history).

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