Y'All Can't Handle Me - Roxxxy Andrews - RuPaul's Drag Race Season V

Hello, my lovelies! It's Friday and you know what that means! I'm so happy RuPaul's Drag Race is back. There is something so magical about this show, I'm telling you. It brings me so much joy to see what the queens come up with for the challenge and also for their runway looks. Not to mention the SHADE OF IT ALL! Ah, the shade is magnificent. Glorious, really. But I digress. Let's talk about the premiere episode for just a moment. The queens had to do an underwater photoshoot with the YUMMY Mike Ruiz. I'll mention the specifics later when I rate the queens individually, but it reminded me of season 1 when the girls got doused with hoses while washing cars in the first episode. Memories! The main challenge was super cute - a tour bus ride through Bev Hills (complete with a cameo from Camille Grammer, HOLLA!) followed by dumpster diving for fashion. The gurls mopped everything they could get their hands on returned to the workroom to turn their trash into red carpet couture.

I have to talk about this season's cast - SUCH A FUN GROUP!! I love most of the personalities, all of the drama, and I get to be in awe of all the fishiness. There's something for everyone - there are serious queens, mean queens, annoying queens, funny queens, kooky queens, and of course, drama queens. I honestly love each and every one of them. So, I won't be giving grades, but simply assessing whether or not I think they'll last in the competition. Once we get down to a smaller number of queens, the more traditional grades will be handed out.

This week's guest judges were Camille Grammer and Mike Ruiz, which Mike should just be on the panel permanently (Santino can go, sorry not sorry). And my mutha Michelle Visage was radiant this week, as always. I love her speaking Spanish, too! Que bella, indeed!

RuPaul, as always, was a delight. I can't tell you how much I love RuPaul for bringing us this show, so I'll just leave it at - Ru is EVERYTHING. Enough said.

In alphabetical order:

Alaska (Thunderfuck): Personality-wise, you made a great impression in my opinion. You were personable, you poked fun at yourself, you were the first one naked (and per Coco, you're well endowed, so points for that), and you pulled it together for the runway quite nicely. The one thing that bugged me was when you gave up in the tank. That pissed me off, as did your whining. How dare you give up like that??? At that moment I was like, disqualified! BUT, you proved that you're still in this thing. Just don't ever quit like that again. If you focus up, you will most likely stay in the competition. I'm predicting at least top 5 for you.

Alyssa Edwards: Well, you certainly bring drama and intrigue, that's for sure! I was not impressed with your runway look, but I'm hoping you have more to show us as the show goes on. I don't doubt you have major performance skills so I'm looking forward to seeing that, too. The whole thing with Coco is already getting old, so you might as well bite the bullet and have the big argument and get it over with. Delaying it isn't gonna help anyone. As far as you taking from the other girls' styles for runway, it didn't really bother me that much, surprisingly - I'm guessing you were nervous and kind of panicked and tried to incorporate everything you could so you would make it through. Just don't make a habit out of it. I'm predicting at least top 10 for you.

Coco Montrese: You cracked me up on this episode. You had awesome one liners and very clever quips, which as everyone knows, if you make me laugh, I'm pretty much gonna love you. I loved your runway look because it was one of the more off beat looks of the bunch. The tension with Alyssa needs to be resolved right away so we can see other storylines develop throughout the season. You are obviously a talented queen, so I'm predicting at least top 7 for you.

Detox: Definitely one of the best queens of life, much less this show. Your resume speaks for itself and I am a fan. I love your looks and your attitude - even though it can be shady, I love it. I want to see shade, I want to see claws coming out, and that's exactly what you're giving me. Your runway look was great, but I know you will be showing us major glamour all season. I cannot wait. You were the winner of the mini-challenge, which was no surprise because that pic was flawless. I'm predicting top 3 for you.

Honey Mahogany: I fell in LOVE with you on this episode! I LIVED for your entrance look (and even though Detox said it wasn't polished, I think it was). Your runway was great and your underwater photo was very good. I know you can give us more and I'm just hoping you excel above and beyond because I'm just in awe of you at this point. I'm predicting at least top 4 for you.

Ivy Winters: Can I just say, the way Ru says your name is EVERYTHING!!! Now, you are the Mistress Seamstress this season. Please use that to your advantage! I don't want to see you get lost in the crowd, but I'm super afraid that it's going to happen. Come hard next week, lady! I'm predicting at least top 12 or you.

Jade Jolie: You made a big impression on the premiere for sure. Not only did you shut it down with Serena, but your runway look caused a lot of ruckus with the judges. I love your bubbly personality and your bluntness when it comes to stating your opinion, but I want you to stay focused on getting as far as you can in this competition. You don't want to be known for going back and forth with Serena - you want to be known for giving us eleganza extravaganza! I'm predicting at least top 8 for you.

Jinkx Monsoon: My GURL! I am LOVING you this season!!! I was so proud of you for surviving the underwater photoshoot even though it was clear you couldn't swim AND you lost BOTH of your contacts. You are so friggin' likable, it's crazy. I love that you're so open with your narcolepsy because it is part of your life and you're honest about it. Again, likable! I cannot wait to see you doing Edie from Grey Gardens in Snatch Game - I can already tell you're gonna hit it out of the park. Your runway look wasn't super exciting, but I'm hoping you have better looks coming. I'm predicting at least top 9 for you.

Lineysha Sparx: My Puerto Rican Queen!!! You are living up to all the standards set by your sisters Nina Flowers, Jessica Wild, Alexis Mateo, Yara Sofia, and many more. I am loving everything you're bringing this season. Your underwater photo was sickening and your runway look was gorgeous. The personality is there and the shade is there. You are the total package, just like the judges said. I predict top 3 for you!

Monica Beverly Hillz: With a Z! LOL! I am really looking forward to seeing you blossom this season. You have great style and of course, great face, but there is something holding you back. I want you to kick whatever doubts you have to the curb and give us everything. I believe in you! I'm predicting at least top 11 for you.

Penny Tration: I was so sorry to see you go first, but I know you had a lot more to give us. It's a shame that things went down like that. But, you showed us a lot of personality and style and we love you for it. The runway look was harsh in some ways and your padding was a little off, and in all honesty, I know in my heart you could have done better. We just don't know why you made some of the choices you did for your runway look. Hopefully you can come back a la Shangela? You made it to the show and that's awesome because so many more people got to know you. You were gracious and humble and your attitude as you were leaving is one of the best we've ever seen.

Roxxxy Andrews: You are giving me face, FACE, FACE! And I love it! You also gave me this week's title, so thank you! LOL! Your makeup dress is fab, hunty, and don't you let these bitches forget it! I'm so excited to see what you give us every week. I haven't been this taken with a queen since probably Yara Sofia. Honestly. You are stunning. The runway look - bangin'. And the side cut-outs, super hot. I loved the makeup, and I'm not a big fan of black lips, but your mug was beat for the gods. I'm expecting big wins from you from now on. I'm predicting top 3 for you, my dear.

Serena Cha Cha: Well, you didn't give us much to enjoy about you, but you are super young. So, congrats on getting here at the tender age of 21. That is a huge accomplishment. Your attitude, not so much. You came across as full of yourself and to be frank, disrespectful. The erratic and annoying behavior in the workroom was very unnecessary. I don't know what actually led to you screaming/singing, but it was not cute, hun. Your runway look was not as great as it could have been. And your underwater photo was just your legs (I think Mike called them "frogs legs" - not good). I hate to be negative, because your face is so pretty, but I don't think you will continue after next week. I may be wrong.

Vivienne Pinay: Gorgeous! And fierce! I really loved your Bettie Page entrance look, which worked amazingly well with the underwater photo. And your runway look was really cute. I loved that you gave it to Serena and let her know exactly what you were thinking about her behavior. You have an amazing look and I really can't wait to see what you do in the upcoming challenges. I'm predicting top 6 for you.

So, there you have it! Here's the list in order of my rankings:

Roxxxy Andrews - Top 3
Lineysha Sparx - Top 3
Detox - Top 3
Honey Mahogany - Top 4
Alaska Thunderfuck - Top 5
Vivienne Pinay - Top 6
Coco Montrese - Top 7
Jade Jolie - Top 8
Jinkx Monsoon - Top 9
Alyssa Edwards - Top 10
Monica Beverly Hillz - Top 11
Ivy Winters - Top 12
Serena Cha Cha - Top 13

Do you agree? Disagree? Tweet me!

RuPaul's All Star Drag Race Finale - Hall of FAMAAAH!!!

We've come to the end of the road for Drag Race All Stars, and it was bittersweet for me. There'll be no grades this week, because these ladies are all winners. The Hall of Fame is a great prize, not to mention the money and the MAC and the trip. But, this All Stars season was really a gift to the audience, I think. We love these queens so much and we're so passionate about this show, and to be able to see some of our favorites compete again was a wonderful prize for all of us. I hope another All Stars season is coming soon (after Season 5 and Drag U, of course).

The finale challenge was hilarious, from beginning to end. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time. And Delta Work and Ongina as the drivers was GENIUS! The interview portion was really fun to watch, except when Jujubee kept getting interrupted. Don't feel bad, gurl, that happens to me all the time. Then, the Hamburger Mary's speech - they all did such a good job! And that burger looked deeelish! Then, my most favoritest part of all, the Comedy Store. You may not know this, but I did stand up for a little while not that long ago, and I can tell you from experience, it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. So, I was totally sympathetic to the ladies' jitters before doing their stand up sets. But they all did great and got a lot of laughs.

I have to give Michelle Visage some love, her reactions were everything! She was so focused on everything the gurls were saying - and I could see exactly what she was going to critique them about just by her facial expressions.

And RuPaul's laugh at the Comedy Store GAVE ME LIFE!!!

Cheri Oteri was a great comedy coach. I love her so much! She is one of my favorite SNL ladies :-), and Beth Ditto is so fun and such a delight. What a great pair of guest judges for the finale!

Of course, the winner is Chad, and I'm happy about that. She really shined this season - she dominated challenges and her looks were always on point. I'm sad that Raven didn't win but the truth is, she didn't win a lot of challenges and she just couldn't go above and beyond for whatever reason.

Jujubee didn't take the crown, but I'm sure she is the fan-favorite this season. Her personality and wit makes her such a joy to watch.

Shannel opened up and let us see some of the pain that drives her. That moment when she said she finally realized she was good enough brought tears to my eyes.

All in all, it was a great season, and Chad, the most deserving queen, won the first Hall of Fame spot. But I think there's room on that wall for a few more queens. Jujubee, Raven, and Shannel are all winners and will always be associated with the very first All Stars Drag Race, kinda like a Royal Court of fabulous queens, Drag Race Royalty, if you will.

What did you think of the finale? Tweet me!

RuPaul's All Star Drag Race & Untucked - Final FOUR!

I am LIVING over last night's Drag Race and Untucked!! OMG! Can we just talk about the lipsync for one second? Jujubee and Raven lost their sh*t before the song even started. It was so sad! I couldn't believe they didn't win the challenge. I loved all the gurls' looks, but I honestly thought Team Shad would lose and Shannel would go home. Good thing they don't pay me to make predictions.

Let's talk about the challenge a little bit. No grades this week because, really, these ladies are werking their asses off, and they're all 10s in my book. Now, the challenge was for each team to become a supervillain/superhero duo. But first, that mini challenge had me in stitches. That was hilarious. Kudos to whoever thought of that one. I was dying laughing. Back to the main challenge. The queens did a look for their characters in their version of day wear and in their characters' official comic book costume. They also had to perform choreography for a theme song "Good vs. Evil". Shannel was the villain for her team, and she really had fun with it on the runway. Her day wear look was this beautiful one sleeved gown and classic Shannel hair. The costume look was her S&M inspired look that we've seen before, complete with face mask. She rocked it out! Chad was the hero and both of her looks were great. She wore this beautiful red chiffon number with a long scarf which served as a sort of mini cape, while her costume look was a really cool bustier with a full cape, all in reds and yellows. Jujubee killed the day wear look, but her costume look was read for filth because of its simplicity. It was a white body suit with silver accents and bright red long hair with bangs. I thought she looked amazing! But, there was no cape, no belt, etc. I thought she looked like Scarlett Johansen in The Avengers, only more fierce. So, for me, her costume look was a winner. Raven blew me away with her costume look. It was this amazing black cloak with a blonde wig and clear plastic face mask that just took it to a whole other level. Her day look was this super cute summer dress with Mariah-esque hair and loads of body.

To me, they all rocked the challenge. But, one team had to win and it was Shad. I think the judges liked their version of comic book characters because they were so over the top. Raven and Jujubee had great looks, but maybe they were more subdued than what the judges were wanting. Although, Michelle Visage showed Rujubee a lot of love, and she was totally on point with what she said about them. They were totally Marvel-like. Santino, of course, had his two cents and that's no surprise. I honestly don't see Jujubee ever wearing that body suit to a club, though, for real. Wendi McLendon-Covey was awesome as a guest judge and her critiques were on point. Elvira was very adamant in her opinions and she was definitely going for Shad to win it.

Then the lipsync happened and I think we all held our breath. How in the world was this going to work out for anyone? I couldn't believe what was happening and as the lipsync ended, Raven hadn't moved from her mark the whole time and Jujubee was clearly distraught. Even Chad and Shannel were visibly upset. Not a dry eye at the judges' table. RuPaul, in her infinite wisdom, and perfect Catwoman-inspired regalness, uttered the words we all wanted to hear: "You both stay." That moment was one of the most perfect moments in Drag Race herstory.

F*ck it, it's a top four! Now, the question is, now that it's individual, who's your pick? For me it's a toss up between Raven and Chad.

On Untucked, Jujubee lost her shit due to stress and I was so relieved to see that it was just a brief outburst and not a full-on fight. Now, some of the viewers may be upset that Jujubee was commenting on Shannel's obvious kissing-up to Elvira. I say, let her kiss up. RuPaul makes the final decision in the end. And the Puerto Rican queens got a huge shout out! HOLLA!!! Chuletas, YAAASSSS, b*tch!!

I am so looking forward to the finale next Monday night. We'll have our All Stars Hall of FAM-AAAAHHHH!!!!!

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

RuPaul's All Star Drag Race - Ever In Your Favor

Are you loving RuPaul's All Star Drag Race as much as I am? It really is a breath of fresh air for me. I love the fashion, the makeup, and the personalities on this show so much. This week, Rachel Dratch and Janice Dickinson were the guest judges and my, oh, my! Janice was on one! Rachel was sweet and funny - I just love her. And I gotta shout out My Main Mama Michelle Visage! Her look this week was EVERYTHING! I couldn't stop staring at that betwixt-the-breasticles tattoo she has ... if I wasn't such a wimp about needles ... yeah, never gonna happen.

The mini-challenge for the week required each queen to give their best manly man self-portrait, and it revealed a lot about how our girls see themselves when they're not in drag. And they are all hot guys in their own right, mind you! In drag, out of drag, they are all fierce. 

This week's main challenge consisted of the teams o' queens had to do a Girls Behaving Badly/Candid Camera/Punk'd-inspired turn on the streets of Los Angeles, and get random passersby to engage in hilarious activities with them. It was a lot of fun to watch each queen try to convince people to crack an egg on their own forehead or dance with them or let them spray whipped cream down their pants. And people did it! The power of drag, my friends. The crazier the stunt, the more points the teams accumulated.

For the runway, the category was ... Bad Girl Chic. Very hot! I'll get into the details later while giving the teams their grades. Team Shad won this week - very well-deserved, since they got the most points in the main challenge and rocked the runway look. Team Latrila and Team Rujubee were in the bottom 2 (isn't it crazy that we're already down to only 4 teams this week???). Manila and Jujubee stepped up to lipsync for their team's life. And Jujubee took it on home, sending Manila and Latrice packing. It was so sad, and all the girls were very emotional. But Latrice and Manila's positive attitude was really uplifting and their friendship was a great take-away from this whole experience. 

On Untucked, the teams start to look at who's carrying whom in the competition, and it gets very heated. A digital visit from Season 2's Tatiana does not make things any better, as she spills the tea (shade) on all the ladies. A lot of it was nonsense, but it clearly got under some of their skin. 

Now, let's grade these teams! 

Team Latrila: You both are such positive people, and such caring people, so while it sucks to see you go home, you both handled it with grace and a sense of humor. Latrice, I think you were amazing on the runway - but unfortunately, it wasn't the judges' favorite look from you. I loved that you channeled Divine! That was so perfect for this week! And Manila, your shoe hat was everything. I think if you had coordinated your runway looks and played off each other a little more, you would have been safe. But hey, you ladies did a fabulous job and you got a great song and video out of it! I LOVE "The Chop"! What a fantastic way to celebrate your time on All Stars. You two are brilliant. Team Latrila's grade for the week: A (for an amazing attitude and their strong friendship). 

Team Yarlexis: This week was tough for you both. On one hand, Yara didn't do so well in the challenge on the street, and on the other, Alexis was criticized for being the weaker one on the team. On the runway, Alexis took Yara's lead and you both were a cohesive unit as far as the look. I'm thinking that's what may have made it look like Yara was the stronger of the two, because Alexis let Yara dress her in Yara's style. Maybe if Alexis had done her own version of pageant bad girl, it would have made her stand out on her own more. It's tough when you're in a team, though. There's always going to be a compromise or else you'll be totally mismatched on the runway. Alexis, you were awesome in the main challenge and I loved it when you blew up on the runway. We saw that fire from you. You want to win! That's the passion you need! You two need to come together and find a way to highlight both of your strengths in your runway looks. Team Yarlexis' grade for the week: C (because they both had a hard time, but they got through it. They just have to figure out where to take it from here.)

Team Shad: Easily the best week for the two of you. You both killed the challenge on the street and your runway looks were on point. I was dying laughing when Chad was joking around with the guy self portrait mini challenge, though. I think it's gonna be an even closer race from now on. I loved Chad's continued Hunger Games references! Yes!!! Can we see you do Katniss or even Effie Trinket? That would be amazing. I'm very interested to see if you two can win this thing. Team Shad's grade for the week: A (because they nailed the challenge and the runway, congrats!).

Team Rujubee: I picked you two to win the whole thing, so don't let me down!! Jujubee, you were fierce in the lipsync, as always. And I loved your runway look as well. You were great in the challenge on the street. I can't believe you got so many people to do so many crazy things! I will say that I liked both of your runway looks, even though they weren't connected in any way. You both looked great and Raven, I happened to love your runway look. It was different and edgy and fun. Janice Dickinson is a moron. I want you to focus on improving your communication and stay on the same page with each other. It was kind of sad to hear that Tatiana has such a problem with Jujubee, because what Jujubee said wasn't that terrible at all. And it was way back in Season 2! Hold a grudge much, Tati? Or was it all for the show? I'm still Team Rujubee, so make me proud!!! Team Rujubee's grade for the week: C (because they have some work to do, but I think they can still win).

So, who knows when this competition goes individual? Because there can only be one winner, yes?

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

RuPaul's All Star Drag Race & Untucked - Smile Now, Cry Later

This week's RuPaul's All Star Drag Race and Untucked were really great this week. This show just gets better and better. If you don't watch, or haven't watched, number one: what's wrong with you, and number two: it's gonna be ok. Just click here. This week, the queens participated in a newlywed game called In Da Butt Ru (LOL), a Gaff In (think Laugh In), and a swingin' 60's runway extravaganza. I'll get into Untucked later. The guest judges were the hilarious Vicki Lawrence and the adorable Busy Phillips.

Let's talk about how the teams are holding up.

Team Shad: Chad and Shannel werked it on In Da Butt Ru. Were they ever more than just friends? From the looks of it, maybe! I kid, I kid. As for the Gaff In, I loved Chad's Bette Davis! Spot f*cking on!! And I really liked Shannel's Lucille Ball. I thought Shannel had the mannerisms and voice down. I'm not sure why some of the judges weren't impressed, but I was. Their runway looks were great, although I was wondering what has up with Shannel's contouring. Was it just me or did it look way too dark? Anywhoo, Team Shad is safe and they are on the upswing for sure. On Untucked, Chad's father, who she hasn't spoken to in 25 years, sent her a video to say he loves her and is proud of her. Tears of joy! This prompted the other ladies to talk about their own dads. It was emotional and made us viewers love these queens even more.

Team Latrila: After realizing they don't know much about each other on In Da Butt Ru, they had a nice conversation about their backgrounds. Who knew Manila was thisclose to marrying a girl? But that girl is the greatest, because she forced Manila out of the closet and because of that, Manila met Sahara. It was so nice to see Sahara's beautiful face on the show. So, for Gaff In, Manila was Madonna (dead ringer) and Latrice was Oprah (not so much). But they're jokes worked for the most part. Latrice was clearly nervous - which reminded me of the sitcom challenge back in Season 4. But they pulled through and did great on the runway in their 60's inspired looks. I thought Manila's look was campy, but Michelle clocked her over-use of white liner. I loved how Manila laughed it off, though. As I said before, Untucked was extremely emotional, as we found out that Latrice has a very painful past with her father. Team Latrila was in the bottom 2, and Latrice did the lipsynch for her team and pulled out the victory. Latrice, Manila, you two better werk next week!!

Team Rujubee: These two Season 2 queens won In Da Butt Ru which is no surprise, these two really are sisters. The prize? Pies in the face! I love it! Raven decided to be Bea Arthur for Gaff In, which I was totally psyched for, and Jujubee was Fran Drescher. Fran turned out to be the better choice, and Bea was less than stellar. I was so disappointed. Their runway looks were flawless, though. They looked SO adorable. I am still Team Rujubee and I can't wait for these two to own the next challenge. Step it up!!!

Team Yarlexis: Coming in probably a close second on In Da Butt Ru, Yara and Alexis showed that they are super duper close. I love their dynamic. They chose to be Charo (Yara) and Shakira (Alexis). Now, I didn't like the shade Alexis threw at my girl Shakira (goat voice, really?), but hey she's not the first or the last to hate on her. Alexis really did a great job on the look, but for all the talk about the voice, she didn't bring it to Gaff In at all! Yara, on the other hand, did Charo the house down! The look, the voice, the energy, everything. It was spectacular. And their jokes hit the mark. As for the runway, they looked like a sort of mother/daughter a la Hairspray Edna/Tracy Turnblad - but much slimmer, of course. Yara was the fun, flirty 60's party girl, while Alexis was the elegant, buttoned up Jackie O type. They won the main challenge, which I was very happy about. These two may just give Rujubee a run for their money. On Untucked, Yara had a breakdown thinking about her father and the fact that her family doesn't really talk about or acknowledge her lifestyle. Stay strong, Yara, we love you.

Team Brown Flowers: Tammie was in rare kookoo form this week. She and Nina were deliciously out there during In Da Butt Ru, and it didn't stop there. They didn't know who each other's celebrity was for Gaff In, which was not a good sign. Nina was Latin legend La Lupe  which I absolutely loved (and she did such a good job!). Tammie was none other than Tammy Faye Bakker/Messner, and although she had the look down, that was pretty much all she gave to the character. Not sure why Tammie didn't go bigger with the impersonation. On the runway, Nina gave us a classic look from Season 1 that worked very well for this challenge, and Tammie wore ... a red dress. There was nothing 60's about it! Except maybe the bell sleeves? I don't know. Michelle Visage critiqued Tammie, and as we saw on Untucked, Tammie fought back. Quite aggressively, I might add, clocking Michelle's makeup application. I know it must be hard to be judged challenge after challenge, but I think Tammie just wants to do her own thing and doesn't like to hear any critiques about it, period. Which is fine, but you're on a competition reality show. So, that really doesn't work. It was no surprise when Team Brown Flowers landed in the bottom 2. Tammie did the lipsynch with Latrice and could not win against her. I was so happy to see Nina and Tammie did not have hard feelings about going home and their bond seemed stronger than ever. Love you Nina and Tammie! You are both legends!!

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

RHONJ Lost Footage - Finally! It's Over!

Happy Wednesday, kids! Please forgive my absence the last few days. I'm working on something really exciting for me, personally, and once it's all worked out I'll definitely share it with you. Suffice it to say, it's something I should have done a long time ago, and now I'm going for it. Turning 30 has really put a fire under my ass to accomplish everything I've ever wanted to do, and I'm excited to see where that takes me.

But let's get back to the ladies of New Jersey and the lost footage episode. I was happy to see some lighter moments and some emotional ones, too. I was less than thrilled to see more ugliness from the reunion. At this point, I think I may have PTSD (just kidding). So I'll take it scene by scene. Join me?

Scene 1: Joe Giudice doesn't apologize for saying Greg has a loose butthole. Seriously. This was a conversation actual adults had on national television. Joe Giudice says that he and his friends used to call each other the f word (derogatory term for homosexuals) and it wasn't bad because they knew they weren't gay. Um, ok. Not really digging yourself out of the hole with that, Joe. I will say Jacqueline was becoming a nuisance with her commentary throughout this whole scene - and it was unnecessary. Anyone can plainly see Joe thinks he said nothing wrong, even when Andy pointed out that it might have been offensive. Joe claims his gay friends thought it was hilarious. Whatever you say, Joe. I'm done with you. Teresa was defending her husband, no surprise, but I would hope that she's as tired as I am of having to hear this same conversation every reunion. Gay slurs are not ok. Ever. No matter who tells you it's funny. It's not.

Scene 2: The Tank Pull Fiasco. This whole scene annoyed me. Teresa can't shut up about wanting to win and Caroline fed right into the stupidity and got a bunch of Army guys to be on their team. With the sole purpose of beating Teresa. At least Caroline said that was her goal. In a way, I get it. Sometimes it feels really good to make the sore loser lose just to shove their face in it. It shuts them up for a few minutes. But it was definitely childish. I got so mad when Teresa told the Wakile kids they didn't need to pull because she had a bunch of people on her team already. WTF!! I was so glad Rosie told her that the kids were gonna participate. Jeez Louise, I can see being competitive, but shutting your cousin's kids out because you think you have better people to do the job? Come on! Teresa's team lost, but I don't think it was because the Army guys "pull tanks all the time". I think the universe was sending Teresa a message: "Be Humble". This was for charity! For crying out loud!

Scene 3: This segment from the reunion was all about the kids. Milania got some special recognition for her antics on the show. The kid is funny. And of course, so are the rest of the kids. Milania just has a way of grabbing the spotlight with the things she says. I'd venture to say, Teresa isn't happy about some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth, like "Daddy's sleeping in his own room" and "You're not a cooker, you're a hooker", for example. Teresa stated at the reunion that she never said the word "hooker" in front of Milania before, so she has no idea where she heard it. (Maybe her father? Just saying.) Jacqueline, right on cue, decides to scoff at this and says she's tired of listening to Teresa lie. She says that Teresa is trying to paint this perfect picture for the show, but she's not buying it. Well, Jacqueline, again, we get it. We don't exactly need a play by play from you, but thanks for thinking of us. Andy asks about Jacqueline writing in her blog that Milania acts out to get attention, and Jacqueline stands by her statement. Then the room agrees that all kids do that, so that whole conversation was pointless. Melissa decides to tell us that Joey is her problem child and he's got all the "Gorga" characteristics. I was half expecting Teresa to accuse Joey of copying Milania, but no such luck there. Chris Laurita reflects on the Manzo boys acting up on the business trip, but says they're more professional now, and adds that he acted the same way when he was their age.

Scene 4: Bookstore Drama. Teresa can't figure out why a specialty bookstore doesn't carry her books. Because. They're. A. Specialty. Bookstore. The cashier was clearly annoyed with Teresa and her badgering him to order the book. Ain't gonna happen, Tre. Stick with the chain bookstores.

Scene 5: Teresa's Magazine Apology. At the reunion, Andy brings up Teresa's apology in In Touch magazine, citing a source who said she was paid $6,500 to do the story. Teresa says the magazine asked her if she wanted to a story ABOUT apologizing and she said yes. She also said she wasn't paid. I highly doubt Teresa did all of these magazine photoshoots and articles and interviews for bupkiss. I believe she was paid. Just my opinion. It's also my opinion that she should OWN IT and say, "YAAASSSS BITCHES! I got paid to talk shit about you then I got paid to apologize to you! Welcome to 2012!" But again, just my opinion. However, I did find it interesting that Jacqueline said that Teresa never returned phone calls or texts, but had no problem addressing "letters" to each cast member in a magazine. Caroline interjected that Lauren did a story about herself, not bashing anyone else, to which Teresa proceeded to bash Lauren for not losing weight naturally. Here's what on that. How people choose to lose weight is their business. Teresa should have absolutely nothing to say about it. Period. Caroline was getting very upset at this point and that's when she told Teresa to shut her goddamn mouth. And Teresa squeaked out a "Wow". I'm thinking this is after she lost her voice?

Scene 6: A very nice scene between Jacqueline and Chris in Chicago. Very sweet, but kinda boring. No shade, but shade.

Scene 7: Jacqueline looks for wedding dresses for her fake wedding picture. I'm almost certain this is the fake wedding picture she was thinking of doing for a magazine then eventually decided against. Am I right? Either way, this is a fun scene. Just seeing Jacqueline joke around and be silly was awesome. She really is a kooky lady, and given the right setting, is a lot of fun to watch. I'm glad she decided not to do the fake wedding picture. It felt wrong and unnecessary.

Scene 8: Father's Day Festivities. The Giudices have a nice Father's Day, wherein Teresa gives Joe a ring, and he says, "I don't wear rings much, but it's nice." So, yeah. He doesn't wear a wedding ring very often, I'm guessing. Am I the only one who got super sad when Teresa said the rumors in the magazines about Joe cheating have really gotten to Gia? That broke my heart. I can only imagine Gia sees the magazines at the store or maybe at school? But I'm just saying, Gia and her sisters need to be protected from all of those articles. Honestly, they shouldn't even be featured on the covers of those magazines ... just my opinion. Back to the scene at hand. The Wakiles and Gorgas get together to remember Kathy and Rosie's dad and also Melissa's dad, who have passed away. It was a touching scene with lots of emotion. I liked that they were all together supporting each other, on what must have been a tough day.

Scene 9: Kim D's commentary backstage at the reunion. Oy vey. This woman is nuts.

Scene 10: Napa Trip Cook Off. Some friendly competition between all the RVs - Manzos, Wakiles, and Gorga/Giudices - resulted in the most amazing cook off ever. All of the food looked fantastic. Teresa and Melissa won, and it was nice to see them celebrate their victory together as a team. I didn't like that Teresa had to point out in her interview that Melissa's family doesn't cook. There's nothing wrong with not cooking. Or maybe I'm just saying that because I don't ... whatever.

Scene 11: Dina Returns. At the reunion, Dina is brought up once again. The fact that Teresa went to Dina after the fight on Jacqueline's deck is a big deal for Caroline and Jacqueline, because they feel that Teresa's intention was to have Dina on her side against them. Which is plausible, but Dina's a grown ass woman, and if she's going to choose her friend over her sister, there's gotta be more there than just Teresa. There are definitely more issues there than meets the eye. Teresa maintains she was talking to Dina about the fight as a friend just like she would with any other friend, and for the record, I believe her. I don't think she thought twice about venting to Dina. To her, it was the most natural thing in the world. I'm not sure she had a malicious intent behind it. It was good to hear Caroline admit that Teresa isn't the entire cause of the rift, but maybe just a part of it. That seems a lot more accurate. Now, here's where we have to talk about Jacqueline's issues with Dina. I have to point out that Teresa has a big mouth. So when Jacqueline accused Teresa of telling Jacqueline what Dina was saying about her and vice versa - which could have only made things worse. My question is: Why wouldn't Jacqueline OR Dina wake up and realize that it would be so much easier to TALK TO EACH OTHER? Take Teresa out of the equation completely and handle the situation between the two of them? I guess that would have to mean that both parties were willing to talk. If Dina refused to engage in a conversation with Jacqueline or Caroline, that explains the stalemate. When Teresa claims she never said bad things about Caroline to Dina, I have to laugh. Of course she did. Believe me, we know how women are, don't we ladies? And it doesn't help that Teresa did throw Caroline's problems with Dina in her face at the Season 3 reunion.

I am so glad this season is over. It was too long and too depressing. What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Success Smells

So, it's getting down to the wire in Celebrity Apprentice. There's only a handful of contestants left, and it's kind of sad, actually. Just to remind all of you, this is NOT a recap blog. I will be giving you my opinions, plain and simple. I look at each episode and weigh in the entire season, but in NO way will I recap the episode, much less the season. I talk about what stands out to ME. I hate having to put a disclaimer like this on my posts, but some people don't seem to understand where I'm coming from, so I need to explain it.

I was not impressed with Aubrey's display for Trump's cologne. The buildings looked cheap, and the silhouette cutout was way too small. I thought she was going to have Eric stand with his back to her and then have the cutout be the outline of his head and shoulders, which could have worked better. Anyway, one of the only things that I liked about Aubrey's display was the pamphlets and the scent sticks. I also liked that there were little shelves for the cologne to be displayed all up and down the building cutouts. Aubrey did a pretty good job with the presentation, and I think she impressed the executives with her verbal prowess.

Teresa impressed me by running around and painting the display. She really worked hard, and it showed. Arsenio resisted the urge to fight with Aubrey, which was nice for a change.

Clay was too hesitant with his choices, I felt. Penn's ideas weren't bad, necessarily, but Clay should have come up with a better tagline. I loved the picture that Dayana took, which was also Penn's idea. I thought it was a great photo and I thought it was an awesome reflection of the brand and the cologne. It looked like Dayana was smelling her man and loving it. LOL! Lisa was a good sport this week (no meltdowns), even though she did spy on the other team. But she didn't see much other than the skyline in the making. But really, the displays couldn't have been more different.

I was surprised that Aubrey won, but when it came down to it, unfortunately, I could see Penn's firing coming from a mile away. Clay made sure to let Trump know that Penn came up with the tagline that the executives hated so much. And it was just that simple, as it sometimes can be on Celebrity Apprentice. Trump gets fixated on one thing, and that's all it takes.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

All Will Be Revealed

So, by now, you all know that the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race was not crowned on Monday night. We have to wait another week until the reunion to find out who walks away as the next drag superstar. But, that's not to say that the "finale" episode wasn't entertaining. It definitely was.

That Glamazon video was the best thing I've seen since Don't Be Jealous of My Boogie. I loved it. And seeing Tyra and Raja again was awesome. Those queens looked amazing, and had really good advice for all three finalists.

Chad: You were flawless, stunning, and finally, a little vulnerable. I absolutely gagged over your final runway look. Donatella owes you some free swag immediately. I would be very pleased if you won the title. However, it didn't look like it was going your way. You killed the lipsynch. It's just too close to call at this point. Chad's grade for the week: A (love you, gurl!).

Sharon: I'm glad you let go of your guilt about being on the show instead of Alaska. I'm sure she wants you to succeed more than anyone in the world. You have a real shot at this. If you win, you'll win as yourself. Your drag, your vision, your beauty. And that would be quite a victory. You were super cute in the video, except of course, for the dancing, but hey, no one's perfect. Your personality made up for it, I think. Plus, you're not a dancing queen, that's just not your forte. But I did enjoy your lipsynch very much. Sharon's grade for the week: A (this was always your race to win, mama).

Phi Phi: I gotta give it up to you this week. You turned it out, big time. You showed your softer side, you opened up, and you were a tad bit less shady than you had been before. Growth takes time, but I think when you look back, you'll see you could have gone just as far and not been as shady. You did awesome on the Glamazon video and with the lipsynch. Your runway look was cute, but it wasn't finale-worthy to me. But what do I know? It's Ru's call. Phi Phi's grade for the week: A (she performed, and I give credit where credit is due).

What did you think of the finale episode? Tweet me!

Jesus is a Biscuit and Other Favorite Moments

This week's Drag Race was a look back at the season and some bonus clips we didn't get to see. Since there were so many awesome moments, I have to just list my faves (in no particular order).

- Mama Michelle Visage doing her best Ru-impression, complete with sky-high blonde hair realness. I loved it! So much fun. And of course, when Ru slapped the sh*t out of her (not really). HAHA!

- Nurse! Willam, damn you, because I WILL be using that damn catchphrase from now on.

- The video auditions. I could watch those audition videos all day long. Everyone approaches it differently, but each one has certain things in common. Show the wigs, show the frocks, mandatory lipsynch, tell us why you'll win. And can I just say, the best audition moments were Chad/Cher in what looked like a locker room, and Sharon in an alley breaking a bottle. LIVING!

- The videos of the queens being told they were chosen. The joy! The tears! The absolute excitement! I was tearing up a little. That moment where you're told you get a chance to do something great. As Latrice said, "This is it! This is IT! THIS IS IT!" Yes, it is!

- Who knew Billy B was such a mean girl?! Don't you ever hate on Michelle Visage's look! EVER!

- Phi Phi in her audition tape saying queens should have each other's backs. Um, who are you and what have you done with Phi Phi O'Hara???

- Latrice giving us all the song in our hearts forever and ever: "Jesus is a biscuit, let him sop you up!" And the conversations that followed. No, Phi Phi and Jiggly don't know what that means, but Dida sure does. And speaking of Dida ... "CHEESECAKE!" LOL! That will never get old. I love it!

- Sharon and Alaska both auditioning for Drag Race. Alaska has auditioned before, this was Sharon's first time. Don't feel guilty, Sharon! Alaska has to make her own journey onto the show. Like Manila and Sahara - queens in a relationship aren't meant to be on the same season.

- RuPaul consulting Michelle Visage flapper-esque fortune teller for the WINNAH! I say the RuPaul/Michelle Visage talk show makes a comeback in 2012! Who's with me?!

What did you think of this episode? Are there any moments I didn't mention that you wanna talk about? Tweet me!

Queen of Mean

Last night on Celebrity Apprentice, we got some puppet action, which is always a good time. Again, this is not a recap blog, this is an opinion-based blog. So if I leave things out, it's just because they weren't that interesting. Sorry!

This one is actually going to be a little short, because frankly, this show is getting old. Not because of the people on it, necessarily, but because there aren't that many people left, and the teams are starting to dwindle down to practically nothing.

First, Lisa lived up to her nickname, "Queen of Mean". I like her a lot but I was not happy with Lisa on this episode. She flipped out at Dayana for wanting to be involved, again, and that was wrong. Dayana wanted something to do, and that came across pretty clearly. Lisa took it as Dayana just wanting to be on stage and threw a fit. However, we never know the whole story when it comes to these reality shows, so there may have been more to it. But, from what we saw, Lisa was wrong on this one. Good thing her team won. She did redeem herself somewhat in the end, and stated if they did lose, she would consider going home. She stated she wasn't here to make other people cry, so maybe that was her way of apologizing? I'm just hoping she gives Dayana some slack next week. As for this week's challenge, they did an amazing job, and I have to give Clay a lot of credit. He's my new favorite to win the whole thing.

Teresa showed her range as a performer, which I think we can all agree is minimal. She's clearly not an actress, and I think she would have been better as the host, and Aubrey would have done a better job with the puppet. Paul checked out from the beginning and deserved to be fired.

So, next week, it's all about Trump's fragrance. Yawn. I truly believe the teams should be eliminated and each player fend for themselves. Who's with me?

Got something to say? Tweet me!

Devastated

First, fellow Drag Race enthusiasts, let's have a moment of silence for Latrice Motha-F*cking Royale, please. I am devastated. I was crying when I saw the episode last night. I cried when I re-watched it today. And I cried when I watched John and Jon discuss it on Drag Ya Later. I really was not prepared to watch Latrice exit the building so soon. I had hopes that she would walk away with the entire competition. Now, I'm just left wondering what could have been. Damn ... let's get ourselves together, shall we? Because it was a spectacular episode.

Rose McGowan and Wynonna Judd were the guest judges with very different judging criteria, and a little tension, perhaps? This is one week I really didn't agree with Michelle Visage, (still love you gurl), I mean really? Chad's looks were on point! But hey, it's all in the past now. And who didn't adore Ru's dreadlocked 'do this week? I defy anyone to hate on that classic coif.

And can we talk about Dita Von Teese in the Gold Bar, by herself? LOL! I don't know if it was editing or what, but they definitely made it look like the girls totally ignored Ru telling them to go to the Gold Bar. It was like they didn't even acknowledge it. I would love for them to ask on the reunion what really happened and why they didn't follow Ru's instructions.

Let's get into the episode, kids.

Chad: I, for one, loved every single runway look you rocked this week, but my favorite by far, was the Puppy in Purse (Party Girl) look. The hair, the dress, it was EVERYTHING. As for the mini-challenge, you killed it. It was so shady and so funny - but I must point out that the shade was accurate, delivered perfectly, and very funny. That's why, to me, it didn't come off as mean at all. You can hold your own, but you're never nasty, and that's why I love you. To win the whole kit and kaboodle, I think you need to show some emotion on the runway with the judges and give them some tears. I also think you need to take a big risk in the final challenges, do something that's out of your comfort zone. It's now or never, lady. I loved your lipsynch, by the way, and that song took me so far back, I had flashbacks to the actual music video for that song. Congrats on making it to the big show, hun! Chad's grade for the week: A.

Latrice: You are one classy queen, my dear. I agree with John and Jon when they said you are one of the most beloved queens in Drag Race history. Now, in the mini-challenge, you were a little soft with Sharon. I think if you would have went for it a little harder, you could have won. Your runway looks were just ok, which makes me wonder what happened to the fabulousness we got used to seeing earlier in the competition? When we look back, you had much better looks than what you brought this week. I'm wondering if you were ready to go, because you positively broke when Michelle critiqued your outfit. And you mentioned that Sharon's been getting by with sub-par looks, while you've been getting harsh feedback. I think since you're so amazing, the judges have to give you something to work on, and maybe some of your outfits just weren't up to their standard. Either way, you revealed that you thought Sharon should go home, and that it was her time. Unfortunately, I disagree, and so did the judges. Your goodbye speech to Ru absolutely made me cry. You had me in tears. Your gratitude was so real, more queens need to be like you. We will forever love you, Latrice, for the laughs, the advice, the honesty, and of course, the shade of it all. Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Phi Phi: You're back to your crazy ways this week, and it doesn't really surprise me. It's like we're on a roller coaster with you. Sometimes you seem so cool and others, OMG. I cannot get over your makeup the last few weeks. It's not polished, sweetie. And the dark lip liner with the light lipstick is NOT the business. I'm sorry. You had a couple good weeks with your makeup and then you went totally backwards. I didn't get the Canine Couture look at all, and the hair you chose was all wrong. Also, you totally re-did Kenya's look from Episode 2, just with a doggie bone belt. Tsk, tsk. Don't think we weren't going to clock that! You were being super passive aggressive when Chad assigned you the bloodhound, but hey, you wouldn't have done any different if you had won the mini-challenge, so be real. The reason you didn't have to lipsynch for your life was your performance in the opening number, which was great, and your Puppy in Purse (Party Girl) look was really, really good. Now, that you're in the Top 3, do us all a favor and CALM DOWN. Just because Sharon said you don't have "family morals", she meant within the family you all have created at Drag Race, not back at home. You blew that up out of proportion so you could have an excuse to yell at her in front of the judges. But you totally misunderstood what she was trying to say. You didn't have a bond with the other girls because you were too busy trying to stab them in the back. In the finale, drop the whole strategy to win that you had going and just perform. When you focus on you instead of everyone else, that's when you really shine. Phi Phi's grade for the week: D.

Sharon: I loved your performance in the mini-challenge, I thought it was great. Your Dog Park look was so cute and I'm glad you did your pretty drag for us. I think you are really versatile when you put your mind to it. And it won the judges over big time. The Party Girl look was different and totally hilarious, which is your wheel-house. The winner was, of course, Canine Couture, thanks to those boots and that wig. It totally pulled everything together. Congrats on another win, also. I don't think you were lying about anything on the runway regarding Phi Phi. The best way to handle her from now on is to just stay away and don't give her anything to complain about. I know you two are probably cool now that the show is done taping, but I really don't like how she treated you and the other girls a lot of the time. Of course, we only see a fraction of what really happens, but as viewers, that's all we have to go on. My advice for you to win the grand prize is to keep giving the judges everything you've been giving all season. The sense of humor and quirkiness and all your personality and wit. I hope you and Chad are the Top 2, and after that, I'd be ok with either of you winning. Congratulations, again, on an awesome season and making it this far. Chad's grade for the week: A.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Go, Lisa!

Sunday's Celebrity Apprentice was back down to 2 hours (still too long, honestly), but it was actually a really good episode.

I'll keep this blog brief because, frankly, not that much happened.

Lisa was vindicated because Lou totally did nothing important on the task at all. He whined and complained and made suggestions way too late in the game. And what's with his need to always be the star of the show? Stop it! Also, if their commercial starred Lou and Dayana, that story should have been a grandfather and granddaughter, not a romantic couple, please. Lou really needs to work on his approach with people. He has a very off-putting way of presenting his ideas - instead of being helpful it comes across as annoying. So, work on that, Lou. Incidentally, Lisa and Dayana worked very well together and I'm glad to see Lisa be open and honest about her change of heart about Dayana. They're both talented, but they just happen to be talented in different ways and it was nice to see them finally work together instead of against each other.

Aubrey and Arsenio also made peace with each other, which was nice to see. Aubrey finally tried to keep her mouth shut, but she wasn't totally successful. I found it hilarious that Ivanka pointed out that Aubrey chimed in when it wasn't exactly her turn to talk. But at least Aubrey's trying to tone it down a little. Teresa ended up winning the challenge as project manager, but not without squealing and squawking during the whole commercial shoot.

Can we just put all the celebs on one team and have them all fight for the win individually, like when the tribes merge on Survivor? I just want to see Lisa and Clay have a bitchy exchange more than anything I've ever wanted to see ever. Oh and speaking of Lisa, she totally shut Lou down in the boardroom after Lou said he'd throw her through the wall if she was a man. Thank you, Lisa, for putting the Hulk in his place and showing him where to go and how to get there.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Queen Bee

Just some random thoughts about Survivor this week. The show is taking a really interesting turn, and I love it. I'm telling you, Kim is the Queen Bee now! Go, Kim!

Tarzan needs to be voted off next, without question. No more poopy shorts in the laundry pot.

Leif is super likable, but unfortunately, the girls will get rid of him soon. I'm interested to know who he'll side with in the final vote.

I wasn't at all surprised when Mike was taken out. I'm shocked it didn't happen sooner, really.

Troyzan really needs to campaign that the girls keep him instead of Kat and Alicia, who are both completely useless.

I really want Christina to stick around, just because it would be awesome if she made it to the end.

What would you like to see happen on Survivor?

Natural Woman

I love the mini-Drag U challenge on Drag Race, only because it's fun to see the gurls teach the art of drag to straight guys who have no idea what they're in for. It was a fun episode, but a lot more tense and emotional than I had expected. We have to talk about the queen who came back for a moment (literally), Kenya Michaels. I was delighted to see her, since she was my favorite from the beginning, but she just didn't deliver. And can I just say how much I loved Jesse Tyler Ferguson as a guest judge? The funniest ginger since Kathy Griffin. Jennifer Love Hewitt was a great guest judge as well, I always love when the guest judges get teary eyed during the lipsynch. Michelle was working a very regal look, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Now, let's dish about the queens.

Chad: Thank you for standing up to that loud-mouth partner of Chad's this week. He needed to be put in his place. He said he was kidding, but damn, he really needed to tone it down. You held your own, and he backed off. So, you win, sweetie. Your pregnancy realness look was not all that, but you did what you could under the circumstances. I'm telling you, mama, TOP THREE! Chad's grade for the week: B.

Kenya: Mami, que fue? What happened? This was not the challenge for you to come back with. Unfortunately, you chose the cute guy instead of realizing he had zero personality. I'm sorry you had to go just as quickly as you came back, but when it's an Aretha lipsynch and Latrice is involved, it's no contest, honey. I love your lipsynch performances, but this one wasn't for you. I loved seeing you again, though. Kenya's grade for the week: D.

Latrice: Your drag daddy was a good sport and I like your look for him. I guess the judges just didn't see the family resemblance. That's fine, though, because you knocked the lipsynch outta the park once again. Your Aretha was REAL the house DOWN. No more bottom two for you!! You've proven yourself and now it's time to break into the TOP THREE! Win the next challenge and secure that spot! Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Phi Phi: Your plan to get Kenya to give you the drag daddy you wanted worked out in more ways than one. He looked just like you in drag and he was really sweet with you. So, smart move there. And you won! Enjoy it, and make sure you have a plan for next week, because the competition is going to heat up. I loved your strip tease routine and your pregnancy look for you and your dude were cute. Just one question, did you set up Kenya to fail by telling her how to assign the daddies? Just asking. Phi Phi's grade for the week: B.

Sharon: Your drag daddy was a drag. Your reactions to him? Priceless. You win for best lines of the episode. You were cracking me up, doll. Anywhoo, you did the best you could but it wasn't enough to clinch the win this week. Please, pull out all the stops next week, and get into that TOP THREE!! We need you in the finals!! Sharon's grade for the week: A (for the laughs).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Three Hours!!!

I'm enjoying Celebrity Apprentice as much as the next reality tv obsessed person, but damn, this week's episode almost broke me! Three hours??? What the hell is Trump thinking? The two hour episodes are bonkers enough. No more three hour episodes, Donald. I mean it. 

Not that it wasn't entertaining. The first half was another astonishing failure from the women's team, who don't need hardly any excuse to turn on each other. I loved their guide book and thought it was the better product, as did Regis Philbin, but the boys made more money. Plain and simple. And The Blue Man Group is a bunch of douches for not handing over the cash like normal people. Blowing money in the air in New York City, when it's supposed to be for charity, is a douche move. With that said, Debbie Gibson got her walking papers, courtesy of an enraged Teresa Giudice, for no apparent reason, by the way. But whatever, Lisa Lampanelli's still in it, and that's all I care about. 

The second half was way more interesting. Seeing that the women's team is doomed, Trump switched up the teams. Aubrey and Teresa went to Unanimous, with Paul, Clay, and Arsenio, and Penn, Lou Ferrigno, and Dee Snider went to Forte, with Lisa and Dayana. This brought about some fascinating group dynamics. 

Lisa ends up being the driving force behind the challenge, again, with some strong support from Penn. But Penn has to leave mid-challenge for a performance that couldn't be rescheduled. Dee seems to be on the ball, but his idea for the "box" a kit designed for the Walk with Walgreens campaign falls flat. The presentation, given mostly by Lou, who's the project manager, goes over really well. Penn, just back from his performance and on just a couple hours' sleep, blurts out WalMart instead of Walgreens. Big mistake. Dayana saves it with some comedy (in her crown and bathing suit), but it's not enough to save the team. Dee is sent packing at the end of the show. 

The most explosive moments had nothing to do with who was being fired, surprisingly. It was all about Arsenio vs. Aubrey. Now, Arsenio's been talking smack about Aubrey since day one (or at least that's what it looks like to us, the viewers). So, he has some resentment towards her and of course, doesn't want her on his team. She didn't do herself any favors by being overbearing, whiny, and just plain annoying throughout the challenge. She insisted on doing things her way, even after Arsenio objected. They won the challenge, but Arsenio had enough of her "selfishness" and went off on her in the boardroom. He made some good points, like how she takes credit for things that aren't necessarily all her doing. She cried and pouted and tried to fight back, but ended up looking like a bigger brat than ever. When they won, she went to the elevator instead of back to the war room. 

Here's the deal, Aubrey. You helped create a certain environment in this game, along with Lisa and whoever else was agreeing with you on any given day. The tables have turned. Deal with it. You're on a team with a guy who clearly doesn't respect how you do business. And he's right about you using your sexiness to get what you want. I think you'll even admit that. But you have to know that not everyone is going to be on board with your style all the time. So you have to back off. You have to let other people get a word in. You have to stop trying to control everything. If you're as strong a player as you say you are, you won't quit. You'll stick it out and learn from your mistakes. Now, you've had a lot of bad things to say about almost everyone else in this game. Maybe this is what you need to learn some humility and some compassion. Just saying. 

And Arsenio? Dude. Take a chill pill. It's really not that serious. 

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Updo! UP! DO!

This week on RuPaul's Drag Race, it was election time, and all the queens put their platforms on the campaign trail. Some took it more seriously than others, with some surprising results. I loved that activist Dan Savage was on hand to critique the gurls' campaign slogans. He is so delightfully drab and dry, it's such a contrast against all the loudness of the show. But he knows his stuff. I love him.

And I have to talk about Michelle Visage's look this week. Sleek, straight-ish, side 'do with a plunging neckline that shows off the star tattoo in between the boobies. What!! You own EVERYTHING, Michelle!!

Oh and someone is coming back a la Carmen Carrera last season. I'm hoping it's Kenya Michaels!!!

Chad: I loved your political character!! It was so funny and so different from what everyone else was doing. I loved the hair and the attitude. I absolutely loved it. And the way you called out the lights! Yellow! Red! Bam! LOL! Your runway look was perfect and so appropriate for the inaugural ball. Or any ball, for that matter. I think we do see your personality, but that's because we see you in the workroom and backstage. I guess the only way to show who you are on the runway is to go back to basics, and wear something that isn't reminiscent of someone else. I really hope you're in the Top 3. I can't wait to see what you do next. Chad's grade for the week: A.

Dida: Your presidential candidate was a little reserved and quiet, which wasn't the best choice. But we've seen this from you before in the infomercial challenge. I just don't think you're comfortable with the whole character thing. You do much better as Dida. Speaking of, I loved your runway dress. And I actually liked the hair. I guess it wasn't inaugural enough for the judges. Your lipsynch was so amazing, by the way. I loved it. On Untucked, you got a special message from your parents, which was really great. Your attitude on your way out was spectacular. You have a great career ahead of you, gurl. Dida's grade for the week: B.

Latrice: I loved your campaign look and your speeches. It was all so regal. That was so good. Your reaction to Phi Phi was understandable, but I think you should have let her have it. I think you internalized your anger and it appeared like you were over the challenge when in fact, you were probably just over her. Your runway look was just alright for me. It looked so much better when you put your bra strap away and took the corset off. During your lipsynch your look really took off for me. Speaking of your lipsynch, tears in my eyes. I loved it. That was so your song to lipsynch. Top 3 with Latrice!! Latrice's grade for the week: B+.

Phi Phi: I could see where you were going with your political character, and some of it was actually funny, but you kind of shot yourself in the foot with the "help" comment. It wasn't that funny, honey. And I'm starting to get really sick of your attitude. You can be pretty without being mean, ok? Your runway look was pretty good, with the white gown and curly hair. The makeup still wasn't as flawless as it should have been. I think of past queens on Drag Race, and your makeup is so severe compared to theirs. I understand that there are different styles of drag, but I think your makeup could be less severe and more polished. That's all I'm saying. Phi Phi's grade for the week: D.

Sharon: You and your 90s business class realness was everything on the political challenge this week. I loved your platform and all your campaign slogans. You were really funny and stayed in character, which is your strong point. I loved your runway look and the fact that Lady Gaga complimented it on Twitter just made it even better. Definitely Top 3. Love you, gurl. Sharon's grade for the week: A.

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Colton's Comeuppance

Survivor was full of twists and turns this week, most notably, Colton fell ill. Literally. He was on the floor, writhing in pain. Later we find out, he's got acute appendicitis, and Kat admits she has no idea what that means. Kat, poor, simple, uneducated Kat. God love her. Colton made sure his appendix affected everyone in the game by taking the hidden immunity idol with him as a souvenir. Is anyone really surprised?! I'm not! He was all about himself from day one. There was no chance in hell he was going to give immunity to anyone on his team.

Speaking of his team, Alicia, sit the eff down and shut the eff up. Oh my God. You have no idea how terribly you're coming across on the show. Of course Colton didn't give you the idol. He was never going to save you. You turned on Christina and you and Colton were downright cruel to her. It's true, you get what you give. I can't wait for you to get your ass voted off the island.

The ice cream reward was torture for someone who's currently watching their diet. That's all I'll say about that.

I will miss Colton's moments of clarity, although few and far between, but I will not miss his whining and disregard for others. If he comes back for another swipe at Survivor, I just hope he's more mature and less bitchy.

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The Wrong Queen

I caught up on Survivor today and OMG, it was awesome. The best two episodes of Survivor I've seen in a long time.

The women finally won some challenges and their morale is up for now. That is, until Alicia decided to get a bee in her bonnet because Kat sort of kind of said she wasn't good at puzzles. Guess what?! She's not!! So not, in fact, that Alicia essentially cost the ladies the immunity challenge. I want this girl gone so bad. She's not at all a team player.

The men are in even more turmoil because Colton is running things. He blindsided Matt - who had it coming in a major way, and now the rest of the men are basically following Colton out of fear. This kid knows what he's doing. However, Colton is no longer my favorite, thanks to his terrible remarks about Leif, who happens to be a little person. Colton threw out every derogatory reference for little people that he could think of, acted like a total brat when Bill confronted him, and then convinced the guys to give up their immunity and go to tribal council. That's right, the men CHOSE to go to tribal after winning the immunity challenge because Colton said so. It seemed he was really upset with Leif for spilling the beans to Bill that he was on the chopping block. Which is not even what Leif said! If you listen, he says that Bill was almost voted out at last tribal. He didn't say anything about the upcoming vote. But Colton was just using the whole Leif thing as a ruse to get Bill out anyway so it really doesn't matter.

And then Colton had to make matters worse by saying some really stupid things about Bill at tribal council and in his interviews. Bill is a black stand up comedian, and Colton thinks he's "ghetto" and "needs to get a real job". Oy vey. Then, he shoved his foot in his mouth some more by saying he's not racist because he has a black housekeeper. OMG. Just shut up now.

Colton needs to control his attitude because he's starting to sound and act just like Matt (who I couldn't stand). He's being arrogant and mean and throwing his weight around. That's not gonna fly for too long. And some one needs to tell Tarzan to zip it - that weirdo just talks out of turn all the time!

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Oh My ...

Sunday's Celebrity Apprentice was an Ivanka Extravaganza - basically a big commercial for her apparel/jewelry/shoe/purse line(s). But, score, because her stuff is gorgeous. The assignment: create two different window displays at Lord & Taylor's featuring Ivanka's wares. The women's team was led by Dayana - who couldn't wait to make her project manager debut - and the men picked George, well, because he's gay.

I think Dayana got overwhelmed very quickly, especially when the window space turned out to be smaller than anticipated. She really relied on Debbie and Aubrey to get things done, not to mention Lisa, who was also a huge help. I noticed Teresa and Tia were in the background, but that doesn't mean they weren't working diligently on the task. I realize there's a lot we, the audience, don't see. Wasn't it hilarious when Teresa wanted to be project manager and she essentially got shut down by her team?! Oh and Debbie was DENIED from being one of the models because of her age?! Oh, the shade of it all (Trademark: Latrice Royale). I loved the women's concept in the beginning, and it would have been great if they could have pulled it off. Sadly, there were too many roadblocks to actually get it off the ground. Who knew it was that hard to get some damn photos? But their plan B was a winner, and finally, the women could relax with their first win of the season. Let's keep this going, ladies!

The men's team was a hot mess. Their display was dull, the clothes weren't used to their full potential, and the only redeeming thing about it was the signage. Other than that, it looked exactly like a bunch of guys putting together a window display for a women's line. I'm not saying they COULDN'T have done a great job, there was just a lot that was left undone. They could have done so much more with their space. I was so disappointed in Adam because he didn't want to really run things by George as the project manager, and we all know why. Everyone thought he wasn't the best manager, but no one would really come out and say it, except Lou. I think the guys need to use Lou more, because ... you won't like him when he's angry. Sorry, I couldn't resist. But seriously. Lou has good ideas, he's just not being heard. Ironic, no? I was happy to see Trump acknowledge that Arsenio messed up on the wardrobe choices and Clay's performance was subpar. Ultimately, George just wasn't as strong of a leader as he should have been.

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The 5 Gs

I had a mini-meltdown when I couldn't watch RuPaul's Drag Race online this week. Logotv.com was down as were other MTV network websites, including VH1. I had been anticipating Snatch Game all season, and of all the weeks for the site to go kaput - Snatch Game week? Really? Well, all is right with the world again. Logotv.com is back up, and I upgraded my cable for $10 more a month. I need my Drag Race, people.

So, as I mentioned before, this week was everyone's favorite, Snatch Game, a takeoff on the classic tv game show Match Game. But first, the mini challenge. Inspired by a very masculine rooster, the girls competed in a series of games to win a call home. Phi Phi won, but graciously gave her call to Chad, since it was his anniversary with his partner. So sweet.

Snatch Game was a hot mess. Sharon had the genius idea of doing judge Michelle Visage, Milan was a loopy Diana Ross, Willam was Jessica Simpson, Latrice portrayed Aretha Franklin, Jiggly took on Snooki, Phi Phi did Lady Gaga, Dida was Wendy Williams, Kenya tried to do a crazy Beyonce, and Chad, of course, was Cher. Now, the only real mistakes in the bunch were Kenya and Milan. Everyone else picked pretty good celebrities to play that had potential for a fun performance. I would have picked Shakira for Kenya and maybe Gayle King for Milan.

The runway look theme was "Dress to Impress", and the gurls turn't it out. Chad won, which I believe she deserved, and Kenya and Milan lipsynched for their lives. Sadly, Kenya was sent home.

I have a lot of opinions about this episode and this week's Untucked, so get your wig glue ready, because I'm going IN!!

Chad: You were PERFECTION again! How are you doing this? These children don't understand how good you are!! Your Cher was SO DAMN GOOD. There were times I really forgot it wasn't her. I'm saving my coins now to see you perform live. I can't believe how much you've impressed me this season. And don't listen to Jiggly when she says you talk about Cher too much. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You can talk about her all day long because you are what? Sick'ning. And Cher obviously means the world to you. By the way, your runway look was flawless. I loved that yellow against the giraffe print. It was so beautiful. Just keep working hard and turning the party. You could win this whole thing. And I loved the montage of you saying you're a professional on Untucked. Yes, you are. Chad's grade for the week: A+.

Dida: How you DOIN'? I absolutely adored the fact that you paid homage to Wendy Williams. That was smart, and fun. I wish we could have seen more of you on the Snatch Game. I almost died laughing when Jiggly did her "smush smush" thing and you said, "How SHE doin'?" LOL! So good. Your runway look was so cute, it reminded me of Rachel Berry's Gaga look on Glee with all the stuffed animals. I liked your impressions on Untucked as well. You're really funny, and I love that. Oh and ... CHEESECAKE!!! Dida's grade for the week: A.

Jiggly: Real talk, you need to quit being such a hater. Chad loves Cher, the challenge was to impersonate a celebrity, so of course, he was talking about the best way to do that. I thought you were going to be a great Snooki, but you just didn't have it. You didn't have the mannerisms, you were only doing the most obvious catchphrases, and you referenced a South Park episode. It was all over the place. You should have stuck with the Snooki that we see on Jersey Shore - heavy drinking, doing the "Wah!", and talking about guido juiceheads. You almost sounded like a valley girl at one point, and you were whiny the entire time. The only things you did get right were the pickles and the poof. So disappointed in you. If you ask me, you should have gone home this week. Your runway look was cute, though. Jiggly's grade this week: D.

Kenya: Things unraveled for you so quickly this season. You were one of the front runners in the beginning, but your limited English really sunk things for you. I was thinking of past contestants whose first language wasn't English, and the fact is, their English was at least conversational. Yours isn't. It's truly broken. I'm glad you had a chance to compete, but unfortunately, it wasn't your time. I hope Ru considers a Spanish language  version of the show for all the Latina queens. You would KILL it!! I loved your runway look. I think you knew it was going to be your last runway, so you represented Puerto Rico with the boxing outfit/flag cape. I'm proud of you because you were great on the show and your looks were always perfection. In the Snatch Game, your performance was so unhinged, it really put everyone off. When you explain what it was you were trying to do, it sounds good, but sadly, it was all lost in translation. Kenya's grade for the week: D.

Latrice: You were the voice of reason again this week. The shenanigans on Snatch Game were too much for you (and you've gone to prison!). I don't blame you for being over it, but you shouldn't have let it affect your performance. I thought you were great as Aretha, but there was a certain point where you just stopped performing, and I hated to see you give up like that. I thought you were absolutely right to tell the girls how you felt. Some of them just won't grow up, though, just so you know. Jiggly did apologize, which was fine, but I don't think the rest were willing to own up to their part in the Snatch Game fiasco. Your runway look was so beautiful. That royal blue suits you. But why were you nekkid on Untucked??? Were you letting the dress breathe or something? We need answers. Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Milan: I don't know which era of Diana Ross you were doing, but I have never heard the woman talk like you were talking on Snatch Game. That was some kind of foolishness. I really didn't understand why you dressed as Janelle Monae for the runway either. Snatch Game is over! You should have done something glamorous! This was your second week in a row in the bottom, and the gymnastics are NOT going to save you next time. You better bring it from now on. Milan's grade for the week: D.

Phi Phi: First off, condragulations on winning the mini challenge, and I salute you for giving your call to Chad. Very nice. However, I'm disappointed in your Gaga. There was so much more you could have done with her. If you've seen her interviews (I'm sure you have), you know she has a certain rhythm to the way she speaks and has a tendency to give super long answers. You could have mentioned New York, being Italian, and made some references to her lyrics, instead of just talking about Little Monsters. You really had a lot of potential with Gaga - you just didn't use it. Which is a shame, because I loved your look. Your runway look was not as good. And you need to soften up your makeup big time. This is not the time to be complacent. Phi Phi's grade for the week: C.

Sharon: You get my award for ballsiest move of the show so far. Your Michelle Visage was DEAD ON. I loved it! And the best part was RuPaul loved it. There's nothing like making Ru double over laughing. Michelle loved it, too. Of course, you had to exaggerate her a little, but you were smart about it. Your Snatch Game performance is right up there with Pandora Boxx's Carol Channing. Perfection! Your runway look was a little out there, but you looked gorgeous as usual. You got Kenya to open up on Untucked, and you seemed sincere. Sharon's grade for the week: A.

Willam: I think people mistake your humor for attitude. I can see your humor and you actually make me laugh once in a while, but you do have a way of making yourself look very conceited. I thought you did a decent Jessica Simpson, and you look a lot like her. The cardboard cutout was a good idea, too. I didn't quite believe you when you cried on the runway, especially when you said you were sad all the girls would have to go home so you could win. Not cool. You have potential, but your ego is ruining it. To quote Latrice, "Good God, Get a Grip, Gurl." Willam's grade for the week: C.

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