Showing posts with label Sharon Needles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sharon Needles. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

All Will Be Revealed

So, by now, you all know that the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race was not crowned on Monday night. We have to wait another week until the reunion to find out who walks away as the next drag superstar. But, that's not to say that the "finale" episode wasn't entertaining. It definitely was.

That Glamazon video was the best thing I've seen since Don't Be Jealous of My Boogie. I loved it. And seeing Tyra and Raja again was awesome. Those queens looked amazing, and had really good advice for all three finalists.

Chad: You were flawless, stunning, and finally, a little vulnerable. I absolutely gagged over your final runway look. Donatella owes you some free swag immediately. I would be very pleased if you won the title. However, it didn't look like it was going your way. You killed the lipsynch. It's just too close to call at this point. Chad's grade for the week: A (love you, gurl!).

Sharon: I'm glad you let go of your guilt about being on the show instead of Alaska. I'm sure she wants you to succeed more than anyone in the world. You have a real shot at this. If you win, you'll win as yourself. Your drag, your vision, your beauty. And that would be quite a victory. You were super cute in the video, except of course, for the dancing, but hey, no one's perfect. Your personality made up for it, I think. Plus, you're not a dancing queen, that's just not your forte. But I did enjoy your lipsynch very much. Sharon's grade for the week: A (this was always your race to win, mama).

Phi Phi: I gotta give it up to you this week. You turned it out, big time. You showed your softer side, you opened up, and you were a tad bit less shady than you had been before. Growth takes time, but I think when you look back, you'll see you could have gone just as far and not been as shady. You did awesome on the Glamazon video and with the lipsynch. Your runway look was cute, but it wasn't finale-worthy to me. But what do I know? It's Ru's call. Phi Phi's grade for the week: A (she performed, and I give credit where credit is due).

What did you think of the finale episode? Tweet me!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Jesus is a Biscuit and Other Favorite Moments

This week's Drag Race was a look back at the season and some bonus clips we didn't get to see. Since there were so many awesome moments, I have to just list my faves (in no particular order).

- Mama Michelle Visage doing her best Ru-impression, complete with sky-high blonde hair realness. I loved it! So much fun. And of course, when Ru slapped the sh*t out of her (not really). HAHA!

- Nurse! Willam, damn you, because I WILL be using that damn catchphrase from now on.

- The video auditions. I could watch those audition videos all day long. Everyone approaches it differently, but each one has certain things in common. Show the wigs, show the frocks, mandatory lipsynch, tell us why you'll win. And can I just say, the best audition moments were Chad/Cher in what looked like a locker room, and Sharon in an alley breaking a bottle. LIVING!

- The videos of the queens being told they were chosen. The joy! The tears! The absolute excitement! I was tearing up a little. That moment where you're told you get a chance to do something great. As Latrice said, "This is it! This is IT! THIS IS IT!" Yes, it is!

- Who knew Billy B was such a mean girl?! Don't you ever hate on Michelle Visage's look! EVER!

- Phi Phi in her audition tape saying queens should have each other's backs. Um, who are you and what have you done with Phi Phi O'Hara???

- Latrice giving us all the song in our hearts forever and ever: "Jesus is a biscuit, let him sop you up!" And the conversations that followed. No, Phi Phi and Jiggly don't know what that means, but Dida sure does. And speaking of Dida ... "CHEESECAKE!" LOL! That will never get old. I love it!

- Sharon and Alaska both auditioning for Drag Race. Alaska has auditioned before, this was Sharon's first time. Don't feel guilty, Sharon! Alaska has to make her own journey onto the show. Like Manila and Sahara - queens in a relationship aren't meant to be on the same season.

- RuPaul consulting Michelle Visage flapper-esque fortune teller for the WINNAH! I say the RuPaul/Michelle Visage talk show makes a comeback in 2012! Who's with me?!

What did you think of this episode? Are there any moments I didn't mention that you wanna talk about? Tweet me!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Devastated

First, fellow Drag Race enthusiasts, let's have a moment of silence for Latrice Motha-F*cking Royale, please. I am devastated. I was crying when I saw the episode last night. I cried when I re-watched it today. And I cried when I watched John and Jon discuss it on Drag Ya Later. I really was not prepared to watch Latrice exit the building so soon. I had hopes that she would walk away with the entire competition. Now, I'm just left wondering what could have been. Damn ... let's get ourselves together, shall we? Because it was a spectacular episode.

Rose McGowan and Wynonna Judd were the guest judges with very different judging criteria, and a little tension, perhaps? This is one week I really didn't agree with Michelle Visage, (still love you gurl), I mean really? Chad's looks were on point! But hey, it's all in the past now. And who didn't adore Ru's dreadlocked 'do this week? I defy anyone to hate on that classic coif.

And can we talk about Dita Von Teese in the Gold Bar, by herself? LOL! I don't know if it was editing or what, but they definitely made it look like the girls totally ignored Ru telling them to go to the Gold Bar. It was like they didn't even acknowledge it. I would love for them to ask on the reunion what really happened and why they didn't follow Ru's instructions.

Let's get into the episode, kids.

Chad: I, for one, loved every single runway look you rocked this week, but my favorite by far, was the Puppy in Purse (Party Girl) look. The hair, the dress, it was EVERYTHING. As for the mini-challenge, you killed it. It was so shady and so funny - but I must point out that the shade was accurate, delivered perfectly, and very funny. That's why, to me, it didn't come off as mean at all. You can hold your own, but you're never nasty, and that's why I love you. To win the whole kit and kaboodle, I think you need to show some emotion on the runway with the judges and give them some tears. I also think you need to take a big risk in the final challenges, do something that's out of your comfort zone. It's now or never, lady. I loved your lipsynch, by the way, and that song took me so far back, I had flashbacks to the actual music video for that song. Congrats on making it to the big show, hun! Chad's grade for the week: A.

Latrice: You are one classy queen, my dear. I agree with John and Jon when they said you are one of the most beloved queens in Drag Race history. Now, in the mini-challenge, you were a little soft with Sharon. I think if you would have went for it a little harder, you could have won. Your runway looks were just ok, which makes me wonder what happened to the fabulousness we got used to seeing earlier in the competition? When we look back, you had much better looks than what you brought this week. I'm wondering if you were ready to go, because you positively broke when Michelle critiqued your outfit. And you mentioned that Sharon's been getting by with sub-par looks, while you've been getting harsh feedback. I think since you're so amazing, the judges have to give you something to work on, and maybe some of your outfits just weren't up to their standard. Either way, you revealed that you thought Sharon should go home, and that it was her time. Unfortunately, I disagree, and so did the judges. Your goodbye speech to Ru absolutely made me cry. You had me in tears. Your gratitude was so real, more queens need to be like you. We will forever love you, Latrice, for the laughs, the advice, the honesty, and of course, the shade of it all. Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Phi Phi: You're back to your crazy ways this week, and it doesn't really surprise me. It's like we're on a roller coaster with you. Sometimes you seem so cool and others, OMG. I cannot get over your makeup the last few weeks. It's not polished, sweetie. And the dark lip liner with the light lipstick is NOT the business. I'm sorry. You had a couple good weeks with your makeup and then you went totally backwards. I didn't get the Canine Couture look at all, and the hair you chose was all wrong. Also, you totally re-did Kenya's look from Episode 2, just with a doggie bone belt. Tsk, tsk. Don't think we weren't going to clock that! You were being super passive aggressive when Chad assigned you the bloodhound, but hey, you wouldn't have done any different if you had won the mini-challenge, so be real. The reason you didn't have to lipsynch for your life was your performance in the opening number, which was great, and your Puppy in Purse (Party Girl) look was really, really good. Now, that you're in the Top 3, do us all a favor and CALM DOWN. Just because Sharon said you don't have "family morals", she meant within the family you all have created at Drag Race, not back at home. You blew that up out of proportion so you could have an excuse to yell at her in front of the judges. But you totally misunderstood what she was trying to say. You didn't have a bond with the other girls because you were too busy trying to stab them in the back. In the finale, drop the whole strategy to win that you had going and just perform. When you focus on you instead of everyone else, that's when you really shine. Phi Phi's grade for the week: D.

Sharon: I loved your performance in the mini-challenge, I thought it was great. Your Dog Park look was so cute and I'm glad you did your pretty drag for us. I think you are really versatile when you put your mind to it. And it won the judges over big time. The Party Girl look was different and totally hilarious, which is your wheel-house. The winner was, of course, Canine Couture, thanks to those boots and that wig. It totally pulled everything together. Congrats on another win, also. I don't think you were lying about anything on the runway regarding Phi Phi. The best way to handle her from now on is to just stay away and don't give her anything to complain about. I know you two are probably cool now that the show is done taping, but I really don't like how she treated you and the other girls a lot of the time. Of course, we only see a fraction of what really happens, but as viewers, that's all we have to go on. My advice for you to win the grand prize is to keep giving the judges everything you've been giving all season. The sense of humor and quirkiness and all your personality and wit. I hope you and Chad are the Top 2, and after that, I'd be ok with either of you winning. Congratulations, again, on an awesome season and making it this far. Chad's grade for the week: A.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Natural Woman

I love the mini-Drag U challenge on Drag Race, only because it's fun to see the gurls teach the art of drag to straight guys who have no idea what they're in for. It was a fun episode, but a lot more tense and emotional than I had expected. We have to talk about the queen who came back for a moment (literally), Kenya Michaels. I was delighted to see her, since she was my favorite from the beginning, but she just didn't deliver. And can I just say how much I loved Jesse Tyler Ferguson as a guest judge? The funniest ginger since Kathy Griffin. Jennifer Love Hewitt was a great guest judge as well, I always love when the guest judges get teary eyed during the lipsynch. Michelle was working a very regal look, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Now, let's dish about the queens.

Chad: Thank you for standing up to that loud-mouth partner of Chad's this week. He needed to be put in his place. He said he was kidding, but damn, he really needed to tone it down. You held your own, and he backed off. So, you win, sweetie. Your pregnancy realness look was not all that, but you did what you could under the circumstances. I'm telling you, mama, TOP THREE! Chad's grade for the week: B.

Kenya: Mami, que fue? What happened? This was not the challenge for you to come back with. Unfortunately, you chose the cute guy instead of realizing he had zero personality. I'm sorry you had to go just as quickly as you came back, but when it's an Aretha lipsynch and Latrice is involved, it's no contest, honey. I love your lipsynch performances, but this one wasn't for you. I loved seeing you again, though. Kenya's grade for the week: D.

Latrice: Your drag daddy was a good sport and I like your look for him. I guess the judges just didn't see the family resemblance. That's fine, though, because you knocked the lipsynch outta the park once again. Your Aretha was REAL the house DOWN. No more bottom two for you!! You've proven yourself and now it's time to break into the TOP THREE! Win the next challenge and secure that spot! Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Phi Phi: Your plan to get Kenya to give you the drag daddy you wanted worked out in more ways than one. He looked just like you in drag and he was really sweet with you. So, smart move there. And you won! Enjoy it, and make sure you have a plan for next week, because the competition is going to heat up. I loved your strip tease routine and your pregnancy look for you and your dude were cute. Just one question, did you set up Kenya to fail by telling her how to assign the daddies? Just asking. Phi Phi's grade for the week: B.

Sharon: Your drag daddy was a drag. Your reactions to him? Priceless. You win for best lines of the episode. You were cracking me up, doll. Anywhoo, you did the best you could but it wasn't enough to clinch the win this week. Please, pull out all the stops next week, and get into that TOP THREE!! We need you in the finals!! Sharon's grade for the week: A (for the laughs).

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Updo! UP! DO!

This week on RuPaul's Drag Race, it was election time, and all the queens put their platforms on the campaign trail. Some took it more seriously than others, with some surprising results. I loved that activist Dan Savage was on hand to critique the gurls' campaign slogans. He is so delightfully drab and dry, it's such a contrast against all the loudness of the show. But he knows his stuff. I love him.

And I have to talk about Michelle Visage's look this week. Sleek, straight-ish, side 'do with a plunging neckline that shows off the star tattoo in between the boobies. What!! You own EVERYTHING, Michelle!!

Oh and someone is coming back a la Carmen Carrera last season. I'm hoping it's Kenya Michaels!!!

Chad: I loved your political character!! It was so funny and so different from what everyone else was doing. I loved the hair and the attitude. I absolutely loved it. And the way you called out the lights! Yellow! Red! Bam! LOL! Your runway look was perfect and so appropriate for the inaugural ball. Or any ball, for that matter. I think we do see your personality, but that's because we see you in the workroom and backstage. I guess the only way to show who you are on the runway is to go back to basics, and wear something that isn't reminiscent of someone else. I really hope you're in the Top 3. I can't wait to see what you do next. Chad's grade for the week: A.

Dida: Your presidential candidate was a little reserved and quiet, which wasn't the best choice. But we've seen this from you before in the infomercial challenge. I just don't think you're comfortable with the whole character thing. You do much better as Dida. Speaking of, I loved your runway dress. And I actually liked the hair. I guess it wasn't inaugural enough for the judges. Your lipsynch was so amazing, by the way. I loved it. On Untucked, you got a special message from your parents, which was really great. Your attitude on your way out was spectacular. You have a great career ahead of you, gurl. Dida's grade for the week: B.

Latrice: I loved your campaign look and your speeches. It was all so regal. That was so good. Your reaction to Phi Phi was understandable, but I think you should have let her have it. I think you internalized your anger and it appeared like you were over the challenge when in fact, you were probably just over her. Your runway look was just alright for me. It looked so much better when you put your bra strap away and took the corset off. During your lipsynch your look really took off for me. Speaking of your lipsynch, tears in my eyes. I loved it. That was so your song to lipsynch. Top 3 with Latrice!! Latrice's grade for the week: B+.

Phi Phi: I could see where you were going with your political character, and some of it was actually funny, but you kind of shot yourself in the foot with the "help" comment. It wasn't that funny, honey. And I'm starting to get really sick of your attitude. You can be pretty without being mean, ok? Your runway look was pretty good, with the white gown and curly hair. The makeup still wasn't as flawless as it should have been. I think of past queens on Drag Race, and your makeup is so severe compared to theirs. I understand that there are different styles of drag, but I think your makeup could be less severe and more polished. That's all I'm saying. Phi Phi's grade for the week: D.

Sharon: You and your 90s business class realness was everything on the political challenge this week. I loved your platform and all your campaign slogans. You were really funny and stayed in character, which is your strong point. I loved your runway look and the fact that Lady Gaga complimented it on Twitter just made it even better. Definitely Top 3. Love you, gurl. Sharon's grade for the week: A.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

You Broke the Rules

WTF!! That is the only thing I can say after watching this week's RuPaul's Drag Race. Ok, I can say a lot more. The girls were paired up with their frenemies after a terrifying polygraph test. The pairs had to perform a live club number about how they don't like each other. Meow! It was a throwback to all those fun duets from yesteryear, like Anything You Can Do from Annie Get Your Gun. Youtube it!

The guest judges were Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Tilly, and RuPaul's music producer Lucian Piane. Lucian is a genius (call me!). Michelle Visage looked amazing, as always, and gave some really good advice to the girls about their performances. And her "Diva" necklace was so good. Pamela joined the gurls in the Gold Bar during Untucked! Such a great show. 

Now, let the music play!

Chad: Your performance with Dida this week was a little subdued, which is not unusual for you. I wish you had kicked up the energy a couple of notches, but you did a great job. I actually loved the combination of you and Dida - you two seemed to have fun together. The outfits were fun, too. I'm so glad you made the Top 5!! Go, mama!! Chad's grade this week: B.

Dida: The energy was working for me, but it didn't quite mesh with Chad's performance. You two should have coordinated a little bit better. Your look was gorgeous, though. I'm so glad you're still here. Dida's grade for the week: B.

Latrice: When you were paired with Willam, at first, I was scared you would be in the bottom 2, but you won! Both of you won, to be fair, but you turned that performance OUT! Willam's antics only worked because you were the perfect counterpart. Everything he did, you did the opposite, and it worked. The energy was there and the performance was great. And I loved seeing you in a corset! WERK! I'm so happy that you made it to the Top 5 - the finale is so close. I want you in the Top 3, hunty! Latrice's grade for the week: A.

Phi Phi: Every time I think you're making progress, you gotta bring me back to reality. You're kind of a mean girl! At least on the show, I know how editing can be. But seriously, you had absolutely nothing positive to say. Some of it, I agree with - like how Willam should have been kicked off sooner for breaking the rules, whatever that means. Some of it, I don't - like your digs at Sharon. You won last week because you were focused. This week, you were all over the damn place. Get your sh*t together, or you may end up in 5th place. Phi Phi's grade for the week: C.

Sharon: I loved you this week. You cried and you were hurt by the judges comments, but you know you're a star. This week didn't go your way, but that lipsynch was EVERYTHING. You kept your shoes ON and your face GOING! I actually got a little emotional watching you go for it. I can't tell you how much I want you in the Top 3. I'm a Sharon Needles fan for life. Sharon's grade for the week: A.

Willam: Whatever you did, you apparently owned up to it, so I give you credit for that. I've been trying to figure out what you did all day. Date a Drag Race staffer? Go out clubbing? Steal some Iron Fist shoes? Hit on Santino? I cannot wait to find out what it is. Until then, I hope you learned your lesson. You gotta follow the rules if you wanna win the game. Your performance this week was great, so it was even more shocking that you were ultimately sent home. Cute corset, too. See ya later, Willam. Willam's grade for the week: D.

What did you think of this episode? Tweet me!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Body Made Wrong!

RuPaul's Drag Race always lifts my spirits and makes me laugh, but this week, I was LOL'ing like there was no tomorrow, hunty! My favorite of favorites, the Reading mini-challenge. Now, I recently watched Paris is Burning, the legendary documentary about all things drag, and let me tell you, I finally get most of RuPaul's references! Not all, but most. You have to watch it if you haven't yet, you can stream it on Netflix.

Now, let's get into that Reading mini-challenge, yes? Because READING IS FUNDAMENTAL! And funny! The winner was clearly Latrice, who annihilated the competition with lines like, "B.M.W. Body. Made. Wrong!", "Two words: Sideshow Freak", and "by the hairs of your chinny, chin, chin." That was some good reading right there. The other girls had bright spots too. I loved Chad's reading, especially her giving Jiggly her dentist's business card. Willam was funny - Phi Phi does "snag" the camera from a certain angle! And speaking of Phi Phi, you know, her, you know, reading was, you know, not good. Jiggly had some zingers, including her Forever 41 line (which she's said before just FYI) and telling Willam her face is marble, sh*t don't move. Dida's read on Jiggly being with child was cute, I thought. My girl Sharon hit it on the head when she said Jiggly smokes HAMS after sex! LOL! That mini-challenge gave me all kinds of life. Latrice, as the winner, doled out the magazine titles for the girls' main challenge. They have to design a cover for their magazine, complete with article headlines and a gorgeous cover photo of themselves.

The library is OPEN!

Chad: Your cover photo wasn't quite "Eleganza". I imagined a Vogue-type concept, but you wanted to show the judges you could be more raw and not always polished. You accomplished that. You had me laughing in the mini-challenge, and I loved your runway look. You always turn the party. Chad's grade for the week: B.

Dida: You had a hard time with your magazine, entitled "Tastes Like Chicken". You went literal with it, which wasn't a bad choice, but it wasn't a winner, either. I think you should have gone a totally different route. It should have been everything BUT chicken, but at the end of the day, it all "Tastes Like Chicken". You could have even gone a little dirty with it. But, I commend you for sticking to your guns and seeing it through your way. Your runway dress was fabulous, but you do need to work on your proportions. Give us body! Not just those luscious legs! We want it all! Your heart to heart with Jiggly on Untucked was really emotional. You were right to be honest with her and give her some tough love. You're a good friend. Dida's grade for the week: C.

Jiggly: I don't know if you forgot, but you're in a competition. Yes, some of the girls are friendly with you, but damn, you can't expect them to tell you how to win! Chad was the only one who was real with you about your magazine, and instead of listening to her, you chose to take Phi Phi's advice. Oy. Your humor is your sword, sweetie! I hope you've grown from the competition and gotten more confidence in yourself. The whining days are over and this is the beginning of the rest of your life. Now, sashay away. Jiggly's grade for the week: D.

Latrice: Condragulations on winning the mini-challenge! You were huh-larious. I loved every second of it. I don't care why you gave the magazine titles out the way you did. Who cares. It's a competition. Unfortunately, your cover wasn't really gossip rag, but I think at a certain point you forgot all about the magazine and just enjoyed your time with the pit crew. Oh well! Your runway dress was pretty and I liked the jewelry. I don't know where Santino got Rent-A-Center from. And your bracelet breaking was so not the business. You had an off night, but you're still in it to win it. Please, please make sure you call Santino a balding bitch next time he says something you don't like! That would make my year. Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Phi Phi: Shady, shady! I thought you were being nice from now on! Gurl, you put your shady ways to work for you when you convinced your "friend" Jiggly to go the serious route with her magazine. I hope you're proud of yourself because you won the main challenge! So, on one hand, good for you, on the other, I don't think you really want to win that way. Your runway look was cute and I think you're hitting your stride with the judges. Phi Phi's grade for the week: C.

Sharon: I love your sense of humor and you really went for it with your cat magazine. It was so funny. I loved your runway look, too. It was like Michelle Visage and you had a love child who became a Vegas stripper. I friggin' loved it. Your reading was so much fun, too. I truly enjoyed you this week! I do agree with the judges, I'd like to see your real eyes (no contacts) on the runway at least once. And thanks for owning up to the fart on stage. LOL! Sharon's grade for the week: A.

Willam: The interior design magazine should have been a home run for you but you decided that "sex sells." I think you should have been a Martha Stewart type and made it a real parody instead of an excuse to get naked. Anywhoo, you had to lipsynch for your life, and of course, you showed your ass. Really. Like we saw your ass cheeks again. I hope you start to take the judges' advice and paint your face better and go above and beyond in challenges. Show us why you're a big tv star! Willam's grade for the week: C.

Regina King and Pam Tillis were the guest judges. I love me some Regina King, with those beautiful braids! I was living for her. She seemed to have a lot of fun with the queens. Pam was a little quieter but her song for the lipsynch brought me back to the 90s and watching that music video on tv when I was little. Michelle's hair this week was ah-mazing in this sculptured updo. She looked gorgeous. Santino was his usual biting self. And RuPaul's runway look was a prom dress for the ages - perfection.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Fashion Forward

RuPaul's Drag Race was all about Pride this week, with the gurls turning out their best Gay Pride floats based on the colors from the original rainbow flag. But first, the mini challenge was a wet t-shirt contest complete with breast plates. OMG the boobage was out of control! Especially for Phi Phi, whose plate completely came off at one point. Willam used her ho-tastic skills to her advantage and won the wet t-shirt contest hands down. When it came time to construct the floats (which were personal sized boats with suspender straps) and come up with fashion forward looks for the runway (in the assigned color), it was almost too much for some of the gurls to handle.

Werk!

Chad Michaels: Your color was pink and your runway look was Showgirl meets Cougar. I thought you looked amazing, but the outfit wasn't exactly fashion forward. You are always stunning, and I loved that you imparted your knowledge about gay pride and the struggle the community has endured. These young queens need to know why they're able to have the freedom they have now and who is responsible for that. Next week, I want to see you let loose. The judges need to see more than just the polished professional we all know and love. Chad's grade for the week: B.

Dida: Your color was red, and I thought you did an okay job with your float and outfit. The t-shirt did say "casual", but you were clear about your look. Dida is a girlie girl and not necessarily a costume queen. That's ok. I love that you have a definite picture of what Dida is and is not. I think you could have worn a nice halter top or maybe even a flashy blazer which would have set the stage on fire! You took the judges advice about the hair, and it looked great. Now it's time to listen to them about your clothes. Only good things can come out of taking constructive criticism! Dida's grade for the week: B.

Jiggly: Your color was orange, which you promptly whined about. Then you wasted your time on the float instead of managing your time wisely. Your runway look was cute, but you should have lost the cape, like the judges said. My biggest problem with you is your attitude. You have to quit with the whining. You are a strong person. There's no need for you to be so defeated just because you got a color you don't love. Ru said orange is her favorite color! That's awesome! You could have made it an homage to her. Instead, you slapped together a mess of a float and lipsynched for your life. Get it together and quit with the theatrics from now on. Jiggly's grade for the week: D.

Latrice: You were an under the sea queen in your turquoise runway look. That hair was flawless, the blinged out lips were everything, but I agree with Michelle, those boots gotta go. I loved your float, though. I hope you win another main challenge soon! And I can't wait for you to tell someone they're a bald bitch. I keep seeing it on the opening of Untucked! Who is the bald bitch??? Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Milan: You were assigned yellow, and instead of making your float a ray of sunshine, it was a bumblebee nightmare. Besides the fact that you literally put your name on it (bad move), your explanation of your concept was confusing. I liked the wigs in the back though. You had to lipsych for your life again, and again, you ripped off your wig and clothes. It's worked before, but it didn't work this time. You have to bring something different. And when you've done the same lipsynch three times, it gets old. I love your passion and intensity, but you should have shown what else Milan is about. Milan's grade for the week: F.

Phi Phi: You were the purple princess this week, and it suited you like no other. Honestly, your runway look was great. I love you in purple and the makeup was definitely better this week. You took direction, you worked hard, and it paid off. Keep this up and you'll be winning main challenges! Your comments about Willam were correct, but she's obviously doing something right because she won. I would love to see you win a challenge and get the recognition you deserve. Phi Phi's grade for the week: A.

Sharon: Your green look was so awesome. I loved the snake/poison ivy vibe I was getting from you. I love your use of color - red hair and red accents to set off the green. It was perfect. You didn't win the main challenge, but I think you were right up there in the top three performers this week. Your attitude has improved, you seem like you're having fun, and you're not screaming across the workroom anymore. All good things. I love it. Sharon's grade for the week: A.

Willam: I will say you're funny, but you are one conceited queen. I get that you have to believe in yourself and love yourself, but you kind of take it to a level where it's just annoying. I totally believe that you were affected by Ru's quote in her book that she treated herself like a star when she was starting out and the world had to catch up. But that doesn't mean you put other people down or brag about yourself constantly. You won the mini challenge and the main challenge because of your personality, no question about it. You charmed the crowd in the wet t-shirt contest, and you charmed the judges on the runway. You deserved that  win, for sure. But, a little humility will go a long way. Just keep that in mind next time you want to drop names or talk about how you're going to win or mention a show you were on. Newsflash, you weren't a household name before Drag Race, so keep it all in perspective. Willam's grade for the week: C.

Kenya: I know you're not in the competition anymore, but you were on the show in a big way in this week's Untucked, via your letter to the gurls. All I can say is, you definitely communicate better in written form! Wow! Don't hold back, hunty!! Tell us how you REALLY feel! LOL! Seriously, though, you were on point with a lot of what you said, but I have to remind you that when it was your time to shine, you didn't come through. Maybe some of that fire could have been used to get you further in the competition? Kenya's grade for the week: A (for the quality of that letter's shade)

Kelly Osbourne was so fun on the show and on Untucked! She has a real appreciation for the drag world and it shows. Michelle's look was so beautiful and edgy - I loved it. Of course, Billy B was completely blunt which is why I love him. Ru looked amazing with the gold gown and caramel tresses on the runway. Sashay, shontay!

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Thursday, March 1, 2012

The 5 Gs

I had a mini-meltdown when I couldn't watch RuPaul's Drag Race online this week. Logotv.com was down as were other MTV network websites, including VH1. I had been anticipating Snatch Game all season, and of all the weeks for the site to go kaput - Snatch Game week? Really? Well, all is right with the world again. Logotv.com is back up, and I upgraded my cable for $10 more a month. I need my Drag Race, people.

So, as I mentioned before, this week was everyone's favorite, Snatch Game, a takeoff on the classic tv game show Match Game. But first, the mini challenge. Inspired by a very masculine rooster, the girls competed in a series of games to win a call home. Phi Phi won, but graciously gave her call to Chad, since it was his anniversary with his partner. So sweet.

Snatch Game was a hot mess. Sharon had the genius idea of doing judge Michelle Visage, Milan was a loopy Diana Ross, Willam was Jessica Simpson, Latrice portrayed Aretha Franklin, Jiggly took on Snooki, Phi Phi did Lady Gaga, Dida was Wendy Williams, Kenya tried to do a crazy Beyonce, and Chad, of course, was Cher. Now, the only real mistakes in the bunch were Kenya and Milan. Everyone else picked pretty good celebrities to play that had potential for a fun performance. I would have picked Shakira for Kenya and maybe Gayle King for Milan.

The runway look theme was "Dress to Impress", and the gurls turn't it out. Chad won, which I believe she deserved, and Kenya and Milan lipsynched for their lives. Sadly, Kenya was sent home.

I have a lot of opinions about this episode and this week's Untucked, so get your wig glue ready, because I'm going IN!!

Chad: You were PERFECTION again! How are you doing this? These children don't understand how good you are!! Your Cher was SO DAMN GOOD. There were times I really forgot it wasn't her. I'm saving my coins now to see you perform live. I can't believe how much you've impressed me this season. And don't listen to Jiggly when she says you talk about Cher too much. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You can talk about her all day long because you are what? Sick'ning. And Cher obviously means the world to you. By the way, your runway look was flawless. I loved that yellow against the giraffe print. It was so beautiful. Just keep working hard and turning the party. You could win this whole thing. And I loved the montage of you saying you're a professional on Untucked. Yes, you are. Chad's grade for the week: A+.

Dida: How you DOIN'? I absolutely adored the fact that you paid homage to Wendy Williams. That was smart, and fun. I wish we could have seen more of you on the Snatch Game. I almost died laughing when Jiggly did her "smush smush" thing and you said, "How SHE doin'?" LOL! So good. Your runway look was so cute, it reminded me of Rachel Berry's Gaga look on Glee with all the stuffed animals. I liked your impressions on Untucked as well. You're really funny, and I love that. Oh and ... CHEESECAKE!!! Dida's grade for the week: A.

Jiggly: Real talk, you need to quit being such a hater. Chad loves Cher, the challenge was to impersonate a celebrity, so of course, he was talking about the best way to do that. I thought you were going to be a great Snooki, but you just didn't have it. You didn't have the mannerisms, you were only doing the most obvious catchphrases, and you referenced a South Park episode. It was all over the place. You should have stuck with the Snooki that we see on Jersey Shore - heavy drinking, doing the "Wah!", and talking about guido juiceheads. You almost sounded like a valley girl at one point, and you were whiny the entire time. The only things you did get right were the pickles and the poof. So disappointed in you. If you ask me, you should have gone home this week. Your runway look was cute, though. Jiggly's grade this week: D.

Kenya: Things unraveled for you so quickly this season. You were one of the front runners in the beginning, but your limited English really sunk things for you. I was thinking of past contestants whose first language wasn't English, and the fact is, their English was at least conversational. Yours isn't. It's truly broken. I'm glad you had a chance to compete, but unfortunately, it wasn't your time. I hope Ru considers a Spanish language  version of the show for all the Latina queens. You would KILL it!! I loved your runway look. I think you knew it was going to be your last runway, so you represented Puerto Rico with the boxing outfit/flag cape. I'm proud of you because you were great on the show and your looks were always perfection. In the Snatch Game, your performance was so unhinged, it really put everyone off. When you explain what it was you were trying to do, it sounds good, but sadly, it was all lost in translation. Kenya's grade for the week: D.

Latrice: You were the voice of reason again this week. The shenanigans on Snatch Game were too much for you (and you've gone to prison!). I don't blame you for being over it, but you shouldn't have let it affect your performance. I thought you were great as Aretha, but there was a certain point where you just stopped performing, and I hated to see you give up like that. I thought you were absolutely right to tell the girls how you felt. Some of them just won't grow up, though, just so you know. Jiggly did apologize, which was fine, but I don't think the rest were willing to own up to their part in the Snatch Game fiasco. Your runway look was so beautiful. That royal blue suits you. But why were you nekkid on Untucked??? Were you letting the dress breathe or something? We need answers. Latrice's grade for the week: B.

Milan: I don't know which era of Diana Ross you were doing, but I have never heard the woman talk like you were talking on Snatch Game. That was some kind of foolishness. I really didn't understand why you dressed as Janelle Monae for the runway either. Snatch Game is over! You should have done something glamorous! This was your second week in a row in the bottom, and the gymnastics are NOT going to save you next time. You better bring it from now on. Milan's grade for the week: D.

Phi Phi: First off, condragulations on winning the mini challenge, and I salute you for giving your call to Chad. Very nice. However, I'm disappointed in your Gaga. There was so much more you could have done with her. If you've seen her interviews (I'm sure you have), you know she has a certain rhythm to the way she speaks and has a tendency to give super long answers. You could have mentioned New York, being Italian, and made some references to her lyrics, instead of just talking about Little Monsters. You really had a lot of potential with Gaga - you just didn't use it. Which is a shame, because I loved your look. Your runway look was not as good. And you need to soften up your makeup big time. This is not the time to be complacent. Phi Phi's grade for the week: C.

Sharon: You get my award for ballsiest move of the show so far. Your Michelle Visage was DEAD ON. I loved it! And the best part was RuPaul loved it. There's nothing like making Ru double over laughing. Michelle loved it, too. Of course, you had to exaggerate her a little, but you were smart about it. Your Snatch Game performance is right up there with Pandora Boxx's Carol Channing. Perfection! Your runway look was a little out there, but you looked gorgeous as usual. You got Kenya to open up on Untucked, and you seemed sincere. Sharon's grade for the week: A.

Willam: I think people mistake your humor for attitude. I can see your humor and you actually make me laugh once in a while, but you do have a way of making yourself look very conceited. I thought you did a decent Jessica Simpson, and you look a lot like her. The cardboard cutout was a good idea, too. I didn't quite believe you when you cried on the runway, especially when you said you were sad all the girls would have to go home so you could win. Not cool. You have potential, but your ego is ruining it. To quote Latrice, "Good God, Get a Grip, Gurl." Willam's grade for the week: C.

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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Party City

This week's RuPaul's Drag Race was so hilarious this week, I had a great time with everyone on the show this week! Is it wrong that I feel like I know these people? Don't answer that. We had a mug shot mini-challenge, a sitcom main challenge, and a red carpet runway show. It was all AMAZING. Guest judges Max Mutchnick (creator and executive producer for "Will & Grace") and Nicole Sullivan (MadTV, King of Queens) were on hand to give the queens the business. The mug shots were friggin' hilarious, and Willam and Madame won the mini-challenge. As the winners, Willam and Madame were the team captains for the main challenge, a sitcom set in, of all places, a prison. Each sitcom was good in their own way, and some of the ladies hit the mark, and others missed it completely. If you haven't watched the show and Untucked, you simply must click here. Oh and make sure you watch Drag Ya Later (a hilarious recap with Jon Mallow and John Polly), they crack me up.

Now that we're caught up, let's do some READING, shall we?

Chad: I loved your runway look. I'm obsessed with Florence + The Machine, who you were channeling, and I must say you looked absolutely radiant. I love you with red hair! It looks great! You were great in the sitcom, probably because you're such a professional. You can do it all. I want you to win a challenge SO bad. I think next week is your week - because it's SNATCH GAME - and you're bringing out the big guns. Your Cher impersonation. LOVE it already!! Get it, gurl! Chad's grade for the week: A.

Dida: You got read for ashy legs by Ms. Michelle Visage, and then you try to say it's bronzer? LOL! Nice try, hunty, but Michelle is right. LOTION UP! Other than that, you more than made up for the infomercial disaster last week with your great performance in the sitcom this week. I'm really proud of you for that. Unfortunately, your runway look was not so great. I know you like to wear short dresses, but it wasn't red carpet worthy. It looked, frankly, cheap. We now know you can do so much better. Please don't disappoint us. Dida's grade for the week: C.

Jiggly: After some coaching, you finally got the sitcom lines right and actually turned out a decent performance. I thought your runway look was just ok. I do love the yellow on you. I'm glad you didn't cry this week, that's for sure. Jiggly's grade for the week: C.

Kenya: Kenya, Kenya, Kenya. You're losing me! You didn't take direction at all! You kept clapping your hands in front of your face after Ru and Max told you not to. I wish you would have dropped the novela act and just played the part in a different way. The novela stuff worked in the wrestling challenge, but it didn't work for the sitcom at all. Your runway look was flawless. You are so beautiful. You better bring it on Snatch Game next week, mami. Kenya's grade for the week: C.

Latrice: Everyone's favorite! You're lovely! And you can sing one hell of a gospel song! I love you so much. You stole the show on the sitcom, which was quite poignant being that you were incarcerated not so long ago. You took that negative experience and turned it into a win. I love it. Also, your coming out story on Untucked was so touching. Thank you for being so honest with us. Your red carpet look was stunning. I loved the blue gown on you and you definitely deserved the win. Keep up the awesome work! *singing* Jeeezusss is a biscuit! He's gon' sop you UP!!! Latrice's grade for the week: A+.

Madame: Ay ay ay. Your tendency to be stubborn really was your downfall. You wouldn't listen to reason, you wouldn't take direction, and you would not admit that you made mistakes as the team captain. Hunty, you have to own up to your mistakes at one point or another. You screwed up on the sitcom! Big time! I loved your makeup on the runway, though. You sure know how to beat your face. I hope you did learn a lot on the show, and maybe have a little more humility now. Your lipsynch was spirited, but it wasn't enough to keep you around. I still love you, though! Madame's grade for the week: D.

Milan: Can I just say, your lipsynch was ridiculous. I know it's a show stopper to take off your wig and your dress, etc. But you went all the way overboard! Miss Thing was scooting across the floor, death dropping, shuffling, and the whole bit. I will say it was entertaining, and you danced circles around Madame. You did deserve to stay, but I'm going to need you to stop trying to be everyone's boss, and focus on your own performance. Milan's grade for the week: C.

Phi Phi: Congrats on uttering the line of the week: "Go back to Party City where you belong!" So wrong, but so, so right. You know what you're doing. You could have just listened to Sharon and squashed the beef, but what fun is that?! I love that you're not afraid to get down and dirty and bitchy with the girls, that, after all, is part of the fun of this show. I do hope you and Sharon become squirrel friends after all is said and done, though. You gotta balance out the bitchy, you know. You're still painting your face to old, and your eyebrows were bugging me big time. You need to get away from the harsh lines. Blend, gurl, blend! Phi Phi's grade for the week: B+.

Sharon: You were the other half of the epic fight with your line: "Tired ass showgirl!" I honestly believe you were trying to make things right with Phi Phi, but she wasn't having it. So, you defended yourself, I get it. Just be careful and don't complain about being put in the "gothic" box. That's part of your look! You showed up the first day in a friggin' witch costume! Seriously, own it, and turn it out, just like you did in the infomercial challenge. You really shouldn't have said anything to Phi Phi about your comments about her leadership skills. But, it is what it is. I can't wait to see your Michelle Visage in Snatch Game next week. WHAT??? Sharon's grade for the week: B.

Willam: Bragging about being on TV probably isn't the best idea when you're competing on a reality show. Just a thought. I wasn't really impressed with your sitcom performance, but I liked your mug shot concept about robbing a bank and being covered in the ink. Your runway look was Taylor Swift-errific, but there's something about your jaw area - I think you need to work on the tone/color of the makeup you're using because it's almost as if it doesn't match and it's distracting. But you have a beautiful face and you did make me laugh a couple of times. Willam's grade for the week: C.

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Friday, February 17, 2012

I Stole The Show!

The competition is getting fierce on RuPaul's Drag Race! I am such a fan of all the ladies at this point, they all bring something different to the competition. Some really worked it this week, while others stumbled. The mini-challenge was super touching - making a headdress for YouTube star Piyah Martell, who has Caudal Regression Syndrome. Piyah calls her fans "butterflies", a la Mariah with her "lambs", so the theme for the headdress was butterflies. Kenya and Phi Phi won the mini-challenge, so they were team captains for the main challenge for the week: an infomercial for RuPaul's music. Sweet! Phi Phi's team sold the Champion album, and their theme was really all over the place if you ask me. There was no cohesion between each team member's look or performance. Each queen presented a song from the album. Kenya's team was assigned Glamazon for their album, and they went with an 80s theme. The group pulled together, even though Milan was taking over a little too much for my taste. Their commercial was more cohesive, despite The Princess' not so great performance. The runway look was Platinum and Gold (get it - album sales?) and the guest judges were Amber P. Riley from Glee and Natalie Cole. So now that we're caught up, let's talk shop!

Chad: You are perfection. Your performance in the infomercial was solid and your runway look was HOT! I loved the homage to Versace with the hair and the gold forehead. I absolutely love your attitude as well. You're one of the most positive queens ever on the show, and I thoroughly enjoy that. I did note your eye roll at The Princess on Untucked, but it was only because she was being super defensive about her performance. You're a genuinely lovely person and a show stopping queen. I can't wait to see what you do next week. Chad's grade for the week: A.

Dida: Talk about pulling yourself up from your boot straps! You made that Lipsynch for Your Life count! That's how you do it, mama! I wasn't shocked when the judges were so disappointed in your infomercial performance - why didn't you go with your original concept of the housewife who's reminded of her single Solid Gold dancer days? That would have been perfect! Your double-entendre idea fell totally flat. Good thing you busted out the lipsynch of a lifetime for Miss Cole. Oh and I loved your runway outfit. See you next week! Dida's grade for the week: C+.

Jiggly: You do know you don't have to bawl in every episode, right? I know it was a tough week for you, with it being the anniversary of your mom passing, and the video message from your brother, but damn gurl, get it together! I don't want to see you crying next week, ok? Your infomercial bit was funny, but your runway outfit was not flattering at all. Cinch that waist, mama! Jiggly's grade for the week: C.

Kenya: It pains me to say this, but I was disappointed with you this week. When you dissed Madame, it was not cool. I love you, but that was totally uncalled for. And if you really don't like her and you think she's doing such a terrible job, then say it to her face like you did in the interview. And honestly, Puerto Rico is proud of you both at this point, ok? So don't make it about Puerto Rico because it's not about that at all. You did great on your infomercial, even though you couldn't effectively lead your team due to Milan's butting in. You also killed your runway look. So be nice, and don't be a mean girl anymore. No one likes a mean girl. Kenya's grade for the week: B-.

Latrice: Mama, you are a Superstar. I loved your performance in the infomercial and your runway was so beautiful. I want you to win some challenges, though! I don't know what it's going to take, but you gotta step it up and show these girls why you are the Queen Bee. Latrice's grade for the week: A.

Madame: You were hilarious in the infomercial, but I speak Spanish, so I enjoyed it. The Americanos, not so much. Your runway look was not in line with what the expectation was. You definitely should have gone glam instead of NASA. Hopefully you can prove that you do belong in the competition from here on out. But DO NOT expect any of these girls to help you anymore. Especially Kenya. The reality is, you're competing against everyone, and everyone wants to win just as much as you do. So, don't think that Kenya is always going to have your back. It is what it is, and she's not obligated to do anything for you. You gotta stand up on your own and get it done for yourself. Go get 'em. Madame's grade for the week: C.

Milan: I didn't peg you as the bossy type, but wow, you sure showed me! I really don't buy your claim that you needed to help Kenya because of her language barrier. She had plenty to say, you just didn't want to hear it. Were you that dead set on being captain of the team? You hijacked her, girl! I must say your runway look was good, but it wasn't stellar. You got into it with Willam on Untucked and both of you were being childish. I did love that line, though ("You ABSOLUTELY need to shut up"). You better get yourself a new attitude, honey. Milan's grade for the week: D.

Phi Phi: Your character for the infomercial was a little off - you were trying to be chola, but at times you almost sounded country, it was weird. But you committed to it and it paid off, you're safe. But safe isn't what you want. You want to win. So you need to really come out of your comfort zone and give the judges something fresh. They've seen diva from you, how about something a little more down to earth? I liked your runway look but it wasn't glam enough. It looked a little like a figure skating outfit. You were there for Jiggly during her breakdown, which was nice, but you absolutely ripped Madame apart. She's got different issues to deal with than you. Maybe you should try some compassion next time? Or ask Latrice to have a talk with her about not complaining so much? That would come off so much better than what you're doing now. But hey, you're working the shady girl role, so if it works, go with it. Phi Phi's grade for the week: C.

Sharon: You are killing it! You won the main challenge again, much to the dismay of your haters. I love it. You took Phi Phi's direction of being goth and you were not only goth, you were the goddess of goth. You did open up RuPaul's song Covergirl to the more edgier crowd who may not have wanted to listen to the song before. And your runway look was a fun homage to The King, Elvis. I didn't like your shoes, though. Just being honest. Keep kicking ass, lady! Sharon's grade for the week: A-.

Princess: I'm so sad to see you go. I loved your runway look. You did have a lot more to offer, but I think the infomercial challenge just wasn't your scene. You looked uncomfortable in the beginning for sure. Your segment about the song If I Dream summed it up. Anything is possible. And you're already a star. I'll miss you in this competition. Princess' grade for the week: D+.

Willam: You are the thorn in everyone's side, apparently. Your quips are funny, but you're not making any friends out here this season. I thought your back and forth with Milan was stupid, to be honest, but you were right about Milan taking over the challenge. Your delivery was all wrong, that's all. I liked the concept of your outfit, but I didn't enjoy your nips hangin' out. Willam's grade for the week: D.

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