Loyalty, Betrayal, and Accusations - Mob Wives Season 1 Finale Episode

First of all, wow. I mean, WOW! What a finale! I'm a day late with this blog because I just watched it last night, so please forgive me.

I have a lot of opinions about the finale, so let's start with Drita's discovery about Lee cheating. I was mistaken on my last Mob Wives-related blog, by the way. I thought Karen told Drita something about Lee - which I thought was the cause of the fight. Not the case. We now know that Drita found out Lee was cheating from the beauty salon owner. My first reaction: Drita's going to go visit Lee in jail and give him a knuckle sandwich. I expected her to take his next call and verbally rip him a new one, similar to the phone call we saw earlier in the season. But she doesn't. She's hurt and crushed - completely humiliated. I don't think we've seen her this sad before. She turns to Carla, who I've grown to like more and more, and says she doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of even hearing her voice. Wow. Honestly, my heart broke for Drita. What a kick in the head, to know that the man you're waiting for, defending, and standing up for betrayed you all those years ago and you had no idea. That's the part that would hurt me the most, to go on for years like everything was ok, just to find out in an instant that it was all a lie.

Drita talks to a lawyer about her options, should she decide to file for divorce. Looking somewhat terrified of Drita, the Santa Claus look-alike tells her she has MULTIPLE grounds for divorce. Ya think? You don't need to be a lawyer to figure that one out. Drita's been through so much with Lee, if she did decide to divorce him, I don't think anyone - not even Lee - would blame her. Drita tells the lawyer Lee is "tricky" and might not sign the divorce papers just to spite her. Lee's image is just getting better and better. What a catch. I honestly hope Drita moves on and finds someone else. Just the fact that he was with someone like Karen for 7 years would be enough reason to never talk to him again.

Speaking of Karen - Miss Loyalty-is-Everything, turns out she is an admitted cheater! OMG, Karen, I had no idea! Cheating is so not a big deal! Making out with other people's boyfriends is ok! Ugh. I can't stand women like this. Seriously, this is why Drita and Karen can never be friends again. Think about it. Karen's perspective is so warped that she doesn't see anything wrong with betraying other people - she just can't take it when she thinks someone else is betraying her.

Karen's argument is that Drita was her "girl" and no matter how much time passed without talking or hanging out, Drita had an obligation to tell her that she was with Lee. Here's the problem. Karen admitted to cheating with multiple men while she was with Lee. She broke up with Lee to be with David, who she was cheating with for quite some time. The way Karen describes the break up, it was anti-climactic to say the least. She told Lee about David, and that was that. Karen doesn't feel the need to be loyal or faithful to anyone but herself. As long as it's convenient for her, she's good.

Karen is the definition of a self-centered person. When you feel that you can do whatever you want with no conscience or remorse or consequences, but you are constantly claiming other people are treating you badly - guess what: You are the problem. Karen needs to read a book instead of write one at this point. Gurl, get it together. You are not the victim. You created all of this with your actions. And here's another newsflash, you're not the only one who makes mistakes. A little compassion would be nice once in a while. And Drita is no angel, either. She's got some things to work on as well (like not throwing decorative candles at people's heads), but at least she tries to be rational before she flips out. The conversation didn't get out of control until Karen stood up and lunged at Drita (Renee stopped Karen and held her back). More on the rooftop brawl later.

Let's take a moment and remember how Karen started this season, shall we? She was the outsider coming back to the old neighborhood to write her book. And who was there for her when no one else was? Drita. Now, once Karen squashed her beef with Renee, she started talking about how she's still hurt over the Lee situation. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: WHY DIDN'T SHE TALK TO DRITA ABOUT IT FROM THE BEGINNING? Why did she wait until she was cool with Renee to do it? Because she needed someone on her side before she could take on Drita. It's so obvious.

Carla made an excellent point in her interview when she said that Karen probably thought she and Drita were closer than they really were. That's why Drita was under the impression that since they didn't talk for a year, they were no longer friends. Now, we've all been there. You're close with someone, you hangout all the time, and then you don't. So are you still friends or not? It's honestly a toss-up. I tend to think that if you haven't talked to someone for over a year, and there was no falling out with that person, but you just lost touch over time, then you're more acquaintances than anything. But that's just me.

Renee's view on it is that Karen  and Drita's friendship is BS. And she's right. It's sad, because we know Karen took Drita in and had her living in her house at one point. We know they were close. But sometimes friendships aren't built on a strong enough foundation to last a lifetime. It really depends on what their friendship was based on. If it was partying, then that isn't a very strong foundation. You can't be surprised when you grow apart from people that you didn't have much in common with from the beginning anyway. I hope they'll shed some light on this on the reunion, which airs July 10th - hosted by none other than Wendy Williams! Sweet!

So the last scene of the finale takes place on a rooftop lounge. This scares me. Renee says somebody better have an umbrella just in case they need to pull a Mary Poppins. LOL! Say what you will about Renee, she's funny. And who else noticed she was a little too eager to see Drita and Karen fight??? Hmmm. Anywhoo, the conversation starts out calmly enough. Drita is definitely agitated when she gets there. But she has a lot on her mind. She just found out Lee cheated. She's contemplating divorce. She's not in any mood to have Karen try to test her. Karen can't help herself and gets an attitude, thereby firing Drita up even more. I'm not condoning Drita's behavior. In fact, what she should have done was let Karen spill the beans about her past and let the truth come out. The looks that Carla and Renee were giving when Drita called Karen out on being a cheater were proof that they're not particularly impressed with Karen's past.

Drita let her rage take over, and she shouldn't have. In her interview, she says she blacked out. I believe it. I think she really lost her mind there. Karen, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was doing. She was prepared to fight with Drita and she knew how to push her buttons. She knew that she could get a rise out of her and she did. And Renee was literally stuck in the middle, and got hurt in the process. Let's see how eager she is to see a fight next time! That's what she gets. Stay out of it from now on, Renee.

I'm looking forward to the reunion, of course. I hope they talk about Karen's book - when is it coming out? Did she only finish that one chapter? (I'm kidding!) I want to know how Carla's kids are doing and if their dad is spending time with them, and did he find a place to live? I would like for Renee to update us on her job and whether she's spoken to Junior or not. And I want to know if Drita is divorcing Lee, and how she feels about Karen now that some time has passed. I know Karen was blasting Drita on Twitter for a while, but I haven't seen anything about that recently.

And lastly, I want to say to VH1 - when you tell people to go to VH1.com to see the rest of the fight, please have the courtesy to actually have the video on your site. I looked for almost 30 minutes and didn't find it. All you had there was the footage that aired on the show. Not what you promised - UNSEEN footage of the aftermath of the fight. Just saying.

Until the reunion, my friends!!

Dragnificent!

Hola, once again, my friends!

I just gotta say it. I love me some drag queens! They're fierce, funny, and fabulous! I'm SO glad RuPaul's Drag U is back for another season. Now, as many of you know, Season 3 of RuPaul's Drag Race just ended, and Raja is our reigning Drag Superstar. Her win was controversial, but on this show, at least to me, all the queens are winners. My personal favorites on Season 3 were Mariah, Alexis, and Yara!

Back to Drag U! The first episode of this season was so fantastic. For those of you who haven't seen it yet, I won't ruin it for you, I promise. This season of Drag U has the most amazing faculty (or as Ru says, "falcutty"), from Season 1 we've got Ongina, Shannel, and Bebe, from Season 2 we have Morgan, Pandora, Raven, Jujubee, and Tyra, and from Season 3 there's Mariah, Carmen, and Manila.

On this first episode, the professors were Raven, Manila, and Shannel. I still say Shannel is one of the fiercest ever! Oh and I have to talk about Raven's lips. OMG. Plumped perfection! And it's no surprise that Manila still has her classic one-liners! Make sure you check out her Cookie Monster realness on this episode, it's too good.

My favorite part of Drag U is always the part where the drag queens get to know the ladies they'll be dragulating. For example, Raven's student, Denise explains that she only looks in the mirror to pluck her eyebrows. To which Raven says, "You pluck a chicken, you tweeze your eyebrows." Love it!

In fact, Raven had a couple good lines. Here's another gem: "The dragulator do ... not ... lie ... HUNTEE!" LOL!!

RuPaul dropped some major wisdom on the ladies, too. Check these out: "Who or what is your saboteur?", "Create a new identity", "Don't live in the past", "What other people of me is none of my business", "You can't love anyone else until you love yourself first", and of course, "Let these children HAVE IT!"

I can't wait for the next episode! I hope there will be an episode with my favorite queens all being professors together: Pandora, Jujubee, and Mariah. Pandora (full name Pandora Boxx) is one of the funniest queens to ever wear heels. She truly is Miss Congeniality, due to her friendly demeanor and charming personality. Jujubee is just fierce. Period. She's got face for days and I could watch her lipsynch all day every day. She's THAT good. And Miss Mariah Balenciaga is STONE. COLD. CARTER. Look it up.

Who's your favorite queen? Is RuPaul your role model? (PS - She should be!) Comment or tweet me @humorandspice!

An Open Letter to Amy Winehouse

Dear Amy Winehouse,

First of all, I'd like to say that I've been a loyal fan for about 4 years. I bought "Frank", "Back to Black", and "Back to Black - The B Sides". I've supported you and your music. Although I've never seen you perform live, I did purchase your concert DVD (I Told You I Was Trouble - Live from London). I always told people you were astonishingly talented, with a personality to match. I liked your style and loved your swagger. What I loved most was your voice and your songs.

But I constantly had to defend you. People said you were an addict, a junkie. I always referenced other performers who had battled drugs and alcohol, saying that some of the greats came out of it more brilliant than ever. I concluded that you, too, would have to hit rock bottom, get into treatment, make some changes, and voila! Amy's back! But each season came and went. The years passed. And no new Amy emerged.

Sometimes you would give us glimpses of a healthy, happy Amy. But they were all short-lived. They wouldn't even last long enough for us to congratulate you. I started to wonder if the haters were right. Were you a lost cause? Who leaves rehab after one week? One week!

I just want to put into words the disappointment I feel. That all of your fans feel. Other artists take time off to recuperate from illness or fatigue, we understand that. But we haven't heard any new material from you in years. And that's just not right. I'm not counting the cover you did of "It's My Party" for Quincy Jones, because, frankly, that wasn't your best work. It wasn't even your mediocre-est work on a bad day.

I did regain some hope when you went out on tour again in Europe recently. I heard there was no alcohol allowed on the tour, and that was definitely good to hear. But then the footage came out, and unfortunately, you weren't well. Think of how disappointed your fans felt to see you like that, Amy. They spent their hard-earned money to see you perform. They wanted to see you and hear you. Not only that, but think of the band. I'm sure they were disappointed as well. My point is, you're not just hurting yourself anymore. Other people are now involved.

Will you ever tour again? Will you ever make music again? You're the only one who can answer that question. More importantly, will you ever be healthy and sober again?

You need help, Amy. We want you to come out of this and be healthy again. If you decide never to make music again, but just get sober, I'll take it. And that's saying a lot because I REALLY want new music from you. But I'd gladly make that deal with you. Believe it or not, your fans really do care about you as a person. As Amy. Not some product we bought. Not some puppet to entertain us. No. We care about you.

I don't know if you'll ever read this - but if you do, you should really think about what the last few years have been like for you. Now think about what the next few years will be if you don't get help. We don't want to lose you the way we've lost so many other beloved performers.

Just think about it.

(What are your feelings about Amy Winehouse's recent relapse? Comment or tweet me @humorandspice.)

Girl Fight - Can't We All Just Get Along? (No)

Greetings, friends!

I hope everyone is having a great week so far! Today I want to talk about Girl Fights - a few in particular, actually. This kind of relates to a previous blog (Toxic Friendships - Magnified by Reality Shows). But this time, we'll be delving into the details of some of the recent Girl Fights on our favorite reality shows.

Let's start with Basketball Wives: this week Tami finally blew up at Meeka. To be honest, it was about time. Someone NEEDED to set Mrs. Claxton straight. First of all, she needs to calm down. Drink some chamomile, girl, please. I'm exhausted just listening to her talk (the only thing I agree with Evelyn on). Second, has she EVER seen this show before? When you talk about any of the ladies behind their backs, they WILL find out about it, trust. And third, where's Shaunie in all this? Is she so over this show that she only has to be on the first couple episodes for 5 minutes and then she gets to fade out? I apologize, let's get back to the fight in question.

At the polo match, Meeka thinks she's cute (while she's clearly tagging along with Jen and Evelyn, who aren't that into her), and proceeds to tell them she pretty much can't bring herself to be friends with the other clique, which consists of Tami and Royce. Suzie's playing both sides in an effort to be friends with everyone, which, for the moment seems to be working with Jen and Evelyn - not so much with Royce and Tami. When Suzie, Tami, and Royce arrive, everyone is behaving in a civil manner. Could it be there will be no drama at this classy event? Don't count on it.

Meeka antagonizes Tami by asking her if she's been drinking, which she hasn't. And as Tami points out in her interview, if she was, it's none of Meeka's business. Tami sends some verbal jabs Meeka's way, and in true Meeka fashion, she can't control her motor mouth. Meeka gets up out of her chair, and Tami warns her to sit down or things might get out of hand. Does Meeka listen? Of course not. Tami then throws some perfectly crafted insult bombs: You're not in the circle! You'll NEVER be in the circle! They don't even LIKE you! I'll be here when you're LONG gone! ... I doubt Meeka heard any of it as she was babbling something about not thinking about Tami, but she wasn't making any sense. Tami and Royce leave the scene with Suzie following behind, where she's comfortable.

Now let's discuss: Tami did what all these ladies need to start doing. When someone starts acting up, just put your opponent in her place. It's the equivalent of a knock out in the first round. If your opponent is worthy, they'll come back with some valid (and hopefully entertaining) retorts and the battle will be epic. But don't pull a Meeka and come up with some lame excuses (You like drama). It didn't get physical, which is a good thing. I'm really proud of Tami for not physically harming Meeka, because you know she could have done some real damage. I prefer verbal altercations, that way, you can clearly see who has a quick, sharp wit, and who's just lame and out of their league.

This leads me to another Basketball Wives match up - from last week - Royce vs. Evelyn. If you didn't see it, Suzie took Royce to talk to Jen and Evelyn (I still don't know what she thought she was accomplishing), and not long into the conversation, Royce and Jen were in a heated argument. Evelyn started to make comments and Royce told her to shut up. They exchanged profanities, and Evelyn threw a drink at Royce. Again with the drink throwing? Get a new gimmick, Ev. Well, Royce didn't back down, she threw a glass at her and swung, but missed.

We can clearly see that Evelyn cannot just have a verbal argument, she always has to make it physical - not only in this instance with Royce, but also when she tore up Tami's lawsuit documents and threw them in Tami's face. Ev always needs to throw something in someone's face instead of sit/stand there and have an adult conversation. Granted, Royce and Evelyn should have never been face to face, their beef is a lost cause. However, I think that if Evelyn actually took the time to listen to other people and not react (overreact), she may just see the other person's side. But we all know that's not happening anytime soon. Maybe motherhood (this time with Chad, I'm aware she has a daughter) will soften her? Let's hope.

Over on Mob Wives, Karen gave Drita the first chapter of her book to read. Drita is uneasy about it, since Karen basically told her she doesn't care if Drita's husband doesn't want to be mentioned in the book or not. Drita tells Carla she doesn't really want to read it, because if she does, and there's something in there she doesn't like, she's not going to be able to do anything about it (except smash Karen's face in, right?). Carla suggests waiting till the final product comes out and finding out with the rest of the world. I don't know about you, but I'd actually appreciate the heads-up. Now, I'm not a Karen fan, but if I were Drita, I would just read it and get it over with. Why wait?

We'll get to see how this plays out on the finale this Sunday. The sneak peek shows Karen bringing up the subject of her ex/Drita's husband, Lee, and Drita defends herself by clarifying that she and Karen weren't friends or speaking when she got together with Lee. In fact, Drita says, if anyone should be holding grudges, it should be her - Karen hooked up with Drita's boyfriend when they first became friends. Then, there's supposedly a big secret about Lee that Karen reveals to the group. That's when the brawl happens.

Now, I've commented on this before. But Karen needs to let it go. She's looking real stupid right now. She basically admits befriending Drita because no one else would talk to her, then, when she finally becomes friends with Renee, she turns on Drita. Over something that happened years and years ago. Seriously, if it bothered you that much, Karen, you should have worked it out with Drita before you stepped foot in Staten Island again. I honestly think Karen used Drita to get in good with the other ladies on the show, and once that happened, she had no use for Drita anymore, and she could finally unleash the anger she'd been feeling the entire time. If I were Drita, I'd be angry too, and hurt, for that matter.

I don't blame Drita for not wanting to read the book, but I definitely think she should. There's too much in there that may affect her and her family to NOT read it. Especially if Karen's dropping bombshells about Lee that Drita wasn't aware of. We'll have to wait till Sunday to find out.

In other news, the Real Housewives of New York are taping their reunion today!! Well, it's probably already over by now. But still, it's always exciting to know that at this very moment, someone might be walking off the set, apologizing, telling someone to eff off, or maybe even pushing Andy Cohen down in his host throne. I can't wait to see the reunion, which should air in about a month or so.

What do you think of the Girl Fights on reality shows? Let me know by commenting or tweet me @humorandspice! Hope to hear from you soon!

Toddlers & Tiaras - Can I Get an Ultimate Grand Supreme, Please?

Welcome back!

I should begin by saying my all-time favorite episode of Kathy Griffin's "My Life on the D-List" is called "Toddlers and Remodelers" (http://www.bravotv.com/kathy-griffin-my-life-on-the-d-list/season-6/toddlers-and-remodelers), where she "infilitrates" a child pageant. Ok, she's just one of the judges, but she makes it into an investigative report, complete with undercover shenanigans. The kids and parents who appeared on the show were funny and seemed to be in on Kathy's joke: that these pageants are crazy weird.

Cut to last night, after watching Basketball Wives (which I couldn't bring myself to blog about because the only exciting thing was Royce telling Evelyn to shut up, after which Evelyn threw a drink at her, and they almost fought - by the way, there's a lot of almost fighting on that show, can't they just throw down already?) and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon episodes on my DVR, sleep would not come, so I did what any rational person who has to work at 8 am the next day would do. Watch more TV. I stumbled upon "Toddlers & Tiaras", a show that I used to put on while visiting my mom with the sole purpose of making her mad. I would point at the TV and say, "See, Mom! I could have won all those pageants when I was little! I could have been a STAR!" Then I would come up with some clever play on words about her crushing my childhood dreams and get a rise out of her. "Turn that off! Those poor kids are miserable!" To which I would respond, "That girl that won seems pretty happy." Other than torturing my mother, the show really wasn't anything that I thought I would be invested in. Until last night.

Apparently, there are these two child pageant stars who are at the top of their game right now. One is a blonde, fun-size Barbie look-alike named Eden. Eden's mother is ... interesting. By interesting, of course, I mean scary. Eden hardly looks like a real child when she's in full pageant regalia, she looks like a perfect little porcelain doll. In her interviews, she says the normal pre-pageant stuff about liking pageants and wanting to win. But this little girl, at 6 years old, is already building an empire. She's got a CD coming out, she's filming music videos, and has plans to do a mall tour a la Tiffany. And, frankly, Mom looks more excited about it than anyone else.

Eden's competitor is a 5 year old from Louisiana named Makenzie. This girl is hilarious. Let me just say, they showed clips of her from last season - crying for her pacifier, throwing tantrums, and being a straight up brat. But that was last year. She's past all that now. Well, a little. There's no more pacifier. It seems she was embarrassed by the footage that was shown last season and quit that nasty habit. If only all young starlets would do the same. Makenzie is a year older and wiser, and she has a huge presence and sense of humor. They keep calling her "quirky" on the show. I call her entertaining. She is super cute, and genuinely funny. She cracks jokes and makes herself laugh, and seems like a happy kid. Makenzie's mom is much easier to tolerate. She's young and soft-spoken, and talks about letting Makenzie have fun while trying to keep her in line, which is not always easy with a pageant "diva". Mom bought a flipper (a denture-like apparatus that goes over your real teeth) for Makenzie, since the pacifier stage lasted a bit too long and has affected her bite and caused gaps in her teeth. The flipper is a little large and bright white, prompting Makenzie to cry and say she looks like a bunny. Mom consoles her and tells her it looks good. That damn pacifier! Good thing Makenzie broke the habit. Just hope she doesn't relapse.

The big pageant coming up is doing an 80's theme (these kids were born in the 2000s for crying out loud), so everyone is getting their leg warmers and crimpers ready to go. The pageant is broken up into age groups, and there are prizes within each age group. However, the big prizes are up for grabs no matter what age group you're in. First place is called Ultimate Grand Supreme and second place is called Supreme. The Ultimate Grand Supreme gets a crown, a princess canopy bed, and $1,000. Cha-ching!

It seems Eden and Makenzie won't be competing in the same age group, since Eden is 6 and Makenzie is 5. But they will be vying for that canopy bed, no doubt about it. At this point, I think Eden is pretty, but Makenzie is funny. And I'll take funny over pretty any day. Then Eden does the unthinkable. In an interview segment, she pulls out a pacifier with two big teeth (resembling a cartoon rabbit) and says, "This is what I have for Makenzie." Oh, no you DIDN'T!! I know you didn't just clown on my girl, Makenzie! Ooh, ok let me calm down. She's 6, and her mom probably put her up to that. But come on, Eden. Low blow, low blow.

So it's the day of the pageant and everyone is sizing up the competition. Beauty is first, and both girls do great. The judges interview that Eden is more elegant, while Makenzie is sassy. But they both get high scores. The 80s look is next and that's when the breakdowns start happening. Eden's costume didn't arrive on time, but it comes just before the competition. Makenzie's leather jacket ensemble seems to be uncomfortable because she cries and keeps trying to take it off. The 80s portion of the event is underway and Makenzie is still fighting with her costume. Drama! She finally makes it onto the stage and does her thing, although with not as much pizzazz. Eden tears it up. She really wowed the crowd. It's anyone's race, but Eden may have just sealed the deal.

Judging begins. Makenzie's age group is up first and Makenzie wins ... nothing. Not Most Beautiful. Not even Best Dressed. Nada. But there's still Supreme and Ultimate Grand Supreme. Eden's age group is next. Eden wins two trophies ... and Supreme! Some other chick we didn't even meet wins Ultimate Grand Supreme. What a shocker!!! I was honestly disappointed Makenzie didn't win anything. When she realizes what's happened, she's obviously upset. Mom is upset as well. The time, the energy, the hairspray ... Meanwhile, Eden is even more upset because she's not going home with that bed. But her mom still has hope that Hollywood will call any minute to give them a $2 million deal. I'm not kidding. That's what she said. Seriously.

When the episode ended, I thought back on my comments to my mom about crushing my dreams. Sure, I was a cute kid who liked to sing "What's Love Got To Do With It" for anyone who would listen. But the 5, 6, 7, even 8 year old me would have been much more crushed by a competition like that. I'll still give my mom a hard time about it, but I understand why she didn't try to make me a star as a child. She wanted me to have a childhood instead.

What do you think about child pageants? Do you watch "Toddlers & Tiaras"? Are you Team Eden or Team Makenzie? Let me know! Comment or tweet me @humorandspice!!

Tri-State Update

Two blogs in one day! I know! But it's been a crazy week and I'm catching up on all my shows. I don't think I'm completely caught up yet, but I'm getting there.

I FINALLY watched this week's Mob Wives. Forgive me! I gotta say the show was pretty tame. No hair pulling, no face pushing, and the only gun play was aimed at raccoons. Sigh. The last few episodes really spoiled me. I was looking forward to fights every week. But this episode was rich with emotional drama, which is almost as good.

The raccoon hunt was definitely one of the funniest things that have gone down on this show. The fact that Drita's so pumped to pop a raccoon in the ass with a paintball gun is hilarious to me. Looks like she almost got him, too. It was a fun time, anyway. I like seeing Drita happy. She really is a funny lady, she's got more one-liners than the rest on this show. Wouldn't it be fun to see her and Bethenny (queen of the one-liners) sit down and have a couple drinks? I have a feeling those two would have a blast together!

As for Karen and her book, I'm wondering why she's surprised that people are not too thrilled about it. I get her point that this book isn't about her father, but he is going to be in it in some way. It's about her life - and he was in her life, so he is going to be mentioned at some point. I think her best defense is that she's trying to shed light on what the mob life does to the kids growing up in that world. On that level, the book works. It definitely shouldn't be a tell-all about her father or the mob in any way. If she keeps it on a personal level and doesn't name too many names, she should be alright.

It was nice seeing the girls get together and get along. I knew Renee would stir up something and it was just a matter of time before she dropped the Junior bomb on them. First of all, who exactly is surprised by this? Not me! Renee is so far gone when it comes to Junior, it's not even funny. She still has him up on a pedestal, and takes pride in being his ex-wife and mother of his child. Let's remember when that guy at the bar caused a scene. Who did Renee call to take care of it? Junior. They're probably, as Dr. Drew would say, enmeshed in each other's lives. Even after a divorce, they won't ever truly move on. Renee would have to totally remove herself from the life she's built to really get over him, and that ain't happening.

I can see why the girls were so upset when Renee told them Junior moved back in with her. They've all been trying to help her move on, and her letting him back in is kind of a slap in their faces. "Hey, I know I said I wanted to move on, and you were helping me do that, but now I just took 10 steps backwards. Thanks for everything!" Come on, Renee, you had to know that they weren't going to be happy to hear the news. But, like I said, these ladies know Renee isn't ready to say goodbye to Junior for good. In this situation, the ladies should wish her well and stay out of it. Renee's gonna do what she wants, period.

I'm looking forward to seeing Carla's husband come home. For some reason, I thought he didn't know she was leaving him. But, apparently, he does. When she was on the phone with him while buying sneakers (aka "sneekas"), he eluded to it. Does he know about her grabby boyfriend? Will they have some kind of altercation at some point? I can only hope ...

I have to mention the conversation between Drita and her daughter Aleeya regarding "rats". Wow. I can't even imagine trying to explain that to a kid. On one hand, yes, loyalty is a good thing. On the other, it can get you into trouble if you're loyal to the wrong people. And ratting people out involves saving yourself while sinking someone else. There's a whole moral conflict there that's pretty complex for a pre-teen to comprehend. But I liked what Drita said at the end, that ultimately, if you're with people who are doing bad things, and you're doing bad things too, and you get caught, it's your own fault. You have to take responsibility for your actions. And if you do the crime, you do the time. That's it.

Now we're gonna mosey on over to Jersey to dish about the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Again, nothing too exciting, but a lot of emotional stuff. Let's start with the obvious. Teresa and Joe Gorga. By the way, there are like a million and a half Joes in this family! But I digress.

Joe and Teresa talk to everyone else about their feud and never talk to each other. Isn't that how most families do it? Oh. Just mine? Never mind. So Joe talks about talking to Teresa and Teresa talks about talking to Joe. The talking to each other, however, still hasn't happened. Joe leaves Teresa a voicemail acknowledging the letter and asks to come to Gia's gymnastics meet. Nice! Except he shows up late because there are five different start times being thrown around. 1? 1:30? 12:30? Who knows? Melissa, Joe's wife, gets the cold shoulder from everyone, including her own mother in law, but then again, she doesn't approach anyone either. It takes two, you know. We'll have to wait till next week to see Teresa and Joe sit down and have the conversation they should have had months/years ago. Stay tuned.

Now, let's discuss Ashley. The most entitled young woman I've ever seen on television. And that's saying a lot. I used to watch "The Simple Life" with Paris and Nicole. Ashley gets a car! Again! Man, are we just recycling old plot ideas on this show? This time, Jacqueline isn't thrilled about it and tells Ashley to do the right thing. Like make her car payments. Yes, Ashley, that is the right thing. But I can't worry too much about you since your parents will essentially make your car payments for you if you can't or won't do it yourself. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Jacqueline and I like Chris. I think Jacqueline is fun and funny this season and I love that she's not in the middle of anyone else's drama. She tried to help Teresa with her brother but even she was fed up with that whole scene and got the hell out of dodge. I just hope Ashley gets over this "I'm-too-cool-to-appreciate-anything" phase soon, or else she's gonna have an extremely rude awakening when she really is on her own.

Caroline's sad because her kids are grown. Again with this? Alright, let's go there. She's sad because she has no poopy diapers to clean up, no lunches to make, and no boogers to wipe off. Ok, I'm being mean, but seriously, why isn't she happy that she finally has time for herself? Maybe the radio thing will help with this. By the previews of next week's show, she has a rough start. But an advice-themed radio show does seem like a good fit for her, and if people like her brand of matriarchy, then it'll be a good move for her. I notice she does an advice column on http://www.bravotv.com in addition to her show blogs. So that's an indication that it's working out.

Kathy's family is hilarious! Her kids seem really well behaved (in comparison to Ashley, that is), and they have great personalities. I like the idea of the contracts, and the fact that the kids write down what they're committed to doing and understand that they're making that commitment to themselves first. That little Joe is a character - like his dad - and he could be a breakout star this season. And Victoria's story about her brain tumor is truly touching, and I hope her charity function goes well. I really like Kathy and Rich as a couple. They are real and down-to-earth. They may be my favorites this season, we'll see. I still can't wait for Kathy's "KOO-KOO!" outburst on the Dominican Republic trip!

And Melissa wants to be a pop star. Enough said. Just kidding, of course I have more to say about it. Honestly her voice is pretty good. I think she should definitely go for it as a fun thing to do. But we'll see how that storyline plays out throughout the rest of the season.

Tomorrow night is a new Real Housewives of New York where we find out all about Sonja's money troubles.

Comment below or tweet me @humorandspice to discuss!!!

The Real Hypocrites of Orange County (Reunion Parts 1 & 2)

Well, hello again!

First, let me just clarify, this isn't going to be a recap, so if you haven't watched the reunion (both parts), check your local listings or go to http://www.bravotv.com.

The Real Housewives of Orange County reunions are always explosive. But something was different about this one. I guess the best way to put it is that there was no clear "winner", everyone came out looking a little guilty in the end. Which is appropriate, because all of these ladies got into the mud at some point during the season. Let's discuss!

Vicki admitted that she ended her marriage with Donn, and that it was her decision. She also revealed that she had the divorce papers served to him at work, per her lawyer. Ouch. Then we got to see Donn, and I have to say, I feel for the guy. But he's definitely better off without Vicki. I think he'll be just fine. As for Vicki, she's already in a new relationship (remind you of anyone? Tamra?) and says her love tank is finally full again. Gag. Vicki - I'm gonna be real with you. I think you're a smart lady and seem to be fun to hang out with, but you have got to stop being so selfish. Vicki also commented that her daughter Briana is at odds with her over her new boyfriend. I believe it! Briana has interviewed in the past that although Donn isn't her biological father, she sees him as her dad. It's a painful situation, and Vicki shouldn't be surprised that Briana is not on board with the whole new boyfriend thing. Vicki admitted she hurt Donn, and I give her credit for that, but there's something a little arrogant about her attitude when discussing it. Can't put my finger on it.

Tamra got into it with just about everyone this season and she seems to enjoy every minute of it. At the beginning of the season she tried (pretended?) to try to make nice with Gretchen, but then the evil eye hat came out and that was the end of that. Tamra had something to say about everyone (except Vicki and Peggy for the most part). My gut reaction to Tamra is that she likes the drama and can't help but get involved in everyone else's business so that she gets more camera time. The sad part is, she's a mom, and that never seems to cross her mind. Maybe because the kids can't watch the show or anything on Bravo, according to a court order. Maybe she feels like her kids will NEVER see it? But that's unrealistic. At some point, they will be old enough (over 18) to watch reruns/DVDs and see what was going on. And Tamra has been downright vicious at times this season. We've all seen it.

Gretchen stood up for herself against Tamra and Vicki and I feel she held her own. It's tough to go up against those two, and I give her props for doing so. Tamra and Vicki brought up any and all old insults they could find and threw them at Gretchen as if it was the first time they had ever argued. Gretchen knew better and kept calling them out on their own indiscretions, especially Tamra. But what impressed me the most is when Gretchen told Tamra that she is the one that gossips and talks to the press about everyone else and then gets mad when someone does it to her. Bingo! Another fun exchange was when Vicki literally screamed at Gretchen for doing the show while Jeff was dying. The whole thing was repetitive and didn't really go anywhere. Waste of reunion time.

Peggy confronted Alexis about not wanting her on the show, dating Jim, and the competition between them. Although I don't always agree on what Peggy says (sometimes she's just too out there for my taste), she made a lot of sense on the reunion. At one point, Andy Cohen asked her what Tamra and Gretchen should do to work things out and her answer was to "stop bitching". Wow! What a concept! But let's get back to Peggy and Alexis. I truly believe Peggy when she says Alexis changed and started treating her differently once she got the show. Alexis tried to say it was because she didn't want the show to ruin their friendship but I don't buy that. I think Alexis knew Peggy was likeable and would probably get along with her nemeses Tamra and Vicki, and that would tip the numbers against her and Gretchen. I could be reading a lot into it, but whatever. In any case, Peggy IS likeable and seems to be honest whether it's good or bad. I hope she comes back next season.

Speaking of Alexis, well, let's just say she didn't come out looking so great. Her explanations about her marriage, her views on liberals, and what couture means are always a circular conversation. When she finishes talking, you're never quite sure what it is she just said. It's like a little word maze and Alexis is always in the middle. Alexis tried to defend herself but her immaturity is just too overwhelming. For example, she blamed Peggy for not telling her that she and Jim dated casually in the past, instead of holding Jim accountable. Then she explained that they never discussed past relationships when they got together because they were starting a new chapter. Ok, fair enough. Then Alexis proceeds to tell Peggy she's a bad friend because she didn't reveal that little tidbit when they became friends. Wait, what?! I thought you didn't want to know about your husband's past?! Or is it that he's not willing to tell you, so you just don't ask ... Hmmmm. Either way, Alexis barely made any sense and I actually felt sorry for her. She needs to not be on this show anymore.

There were quite a few guests on the reunion. Slade came by and got into it with Tamra, again. About his child support issues, again. I swear, didn't we go over this last year? And possibly the year before? Can we give it a rest now? And I don't even like Slade! I don't agree with Tamra walking off and calling Michelle, the mother of Slade's son backstage. I think that was pretty low and just proves Tamra will do anything for some extra attention. Jeanna stopped in as well and Tamra ripped into her as well. I'm not a Jeanna fan either, but when Vicki said her loyalty is with Tamra, I think we all saw Jeanna's heart break a little. But like I said, I'm not a Jeanna fan, and she runs her mouth just as much as Tamra. So I'm not surprised her friendships with the remaining housewives have all crumbled. Lynn chatted for a bit and I don't really know what she was talking about but she's fun and silly and a nice diversion. I miss her.

Overall, this reunion was pretty tame except for a few standout moments. I think they could replace Alexis at this point and be ok. If they wanted to give Fernanda a bigger role, that would be alright if she became closer friends with more of the cast. And no more kissing Tamra. That's not good for anyone. I think Peggy should definitely stay, and maybe they should bring in a couple of new ladies. Change it up a bit.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Comment below or tweet me @humorandspice!!