Teen Mom 2 Jenelle and Barbara

RHOM - Fake Apology

Well, kids, I couldn't sleep last night, so I actually watched RHOM at like 2 am, which was actually kinda nice for some odd reason. I definitely want to slap myself for staying up so late, but hey, it is what it is. This week was a little off for me in regards to the Miami ladies. They weren't really giving me much to work with but their mothers made up for it. So we'll deal with the moms and then the key players in this episode. Sorry to those I omit, but them's the rules now.

Elsa (Marysol's Mother): Um, you have some explaining to do. I love you, but you calling PRESIDENT OBAMA an "animal" is ... just ... SO WRONG. What the hell do you mean by that? You know what? I don't even want to know. SO disappointed in you. Elsa's grade: F (I'm so mad at her right now).

Lenny's Mother (didn't catch her name): You made a not so great impression, let's be honest. You were bitchy to Lisa (which, by the way, do you KNOW what she's been through with the miscarriages and all???) And then you say you're "not sure about Obama" ... I don't like you. Lenny's mom's grade: F (not cool - that's all I'm gonna say).

Joanna's Mother (again, forgot her name and I'm too lazy to try to find it): I LOVE YOU! You seem like a super nice lady and you told Joanna the truth about herself and gave her awesome advice. I hope she listens to you. I loved that you opted out of the political conversation. Can you join the cast permanently? Joanna's mom's grade: A+ (she is my new favorite HW Mom).

Frederic's Mother (sorry ...): You are classy, elegant ... perfection. In vintage Dior, no less. Frederic's mom's grade: A+ (another new favorite).

Now let's address the ladies:

Adriana: I think we got to see a different side of you this week, at least a different side as far as this season is concerned. I'm glad you are working on your trust issues. Frederic does seem like a really good guy. I wasn't sure about him at first, but I think he's definitely in it for the long run. But you have to get over the stuff that's holding you back. So, take care of that ASAP. The 50th Anniversary party was awesome. I loved it. The Brazilian band and you dancing in costume at the end was hilarious. You looked really happy and that made me feel happy for you. Keep this happy vibe going! Adriana's grade for the week: A (she's making progress).

Karent: I felt sorry for you on this episode because Rodolfo is clearly not that into you. It's sad because you're not a bad person or a bad girlfriend, for that matter. You're just not seeing what's right in front of you. He doesn't want to have children with you, hun. I'm sorry but that's what it is. We know you're no longer with him, so I'm glad you're not still in that relationship. However, for the purposes of this blog, I have to judge based on what we saw. Karent's grade for the week: D (for being so clueless).

Lisa: I can't imagine how frustrating it is when you're constantly being pressured to have a child when you've already had such a hard time with that whole situation. I really felt for you with your mother in law. But, you were respectful (but you did let her know you noticed she didn't tell you she loved you) and you had a beautiful seder for your friends and family. I really like you and I thought your toast was cute. Lisa's grade for the week: A (I feel for her).

Marysol: I think you've been caught in a lie, my dear. Not that James doesn't lie, either, because he clearly does. But I think between you, James, and Lisa Pliner, we'll never get the real story about what happened. If Lisa didn't want to pay James, she should have told James that. You should have never said a word because you knew it would get back to James somehow. So, lesson learned. If you don't want it coming back to you, keep your mouth shut about James. I thought it was nice that you had James/Elaine over to your office to talk about things and apologize, until you revealed that you didn't even know what you were apologizing for. It just makes you look two-faced. Marysol's grade for the week: D (I didn't like her fake apology).

Ana: I just have two questions and two statements for you. Why does your ex have his laundry done at your house? Why do you feel like you need to comment on your ex's appearance? If I were your ex's girlfriend, I'd be afraid to meet you, too (no shade). And I just want to say I really like your daughters. But seriously, cut the cord from your ex and move on. This isn't healthy. Ana's grade for the week: C (I get it, moving on is hard, but this was just annoying this week).

That's it for this week, Lea doesn't get a grade but she does get a side-eye from me about her "Latin Time" comment.

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RuPaul's All Star Drag Race Finale - Hall of FAMAAAH!!!

We've come to the end of the road for Drag Race All Stars, and it was bittersweet for me. There'll be no grades this week, because these ladies are all winners. The Hall of Fame is a great prize, not to mention the money and the MAC and the trip. But, this All Stars season was really a gift to the audience, I think. We love these queens so much and we're so passionate about this show, and to be able to see some of our favorites compete again was a wonderful prize for all of us. I hope another All Stars season is coming soon (after Season 5 and Drag U, of course).

The finale challenge was hilarious, from beginning to end. I couldn't stop smiling the entire time. And Delta Work and Ongina as the drivers was GENIUS! The interview portion was really fun to watch, except when Jujubee kept getting interrupted. Don't feel bad, gurl, that happens to me all the time. Then, the Hamburger Mary's speech - they all did such a good job! And that burger looked deeelish! Then, my most favoritest part of all, the Comedy Store. You may not know this, but I did stand up for a little while not that long ago, and I can tell you from experience, it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. So, I was totally sympathetic to the ladies' jitters before doing their stand up sets. But they all did great and got a lot of laughs.

I have to give Michelle Visage some love, her reactions were everything! She was so focused on everything the gurls were saying - and I could see exactly what she was going to critique them about just by her facial expressions.

And RuPaul's laugh at the Comedy Store GAVE ME LIFE!!!

Cheri Oteri was a great comedy coach. I love her so much! She is one of my favorite SNL ladies :-), and Beth Ditto is so fun and such a delight. What a great pair of guest judges for the finale!

Of course, the winner is Chad, and I'm happy about that. She really shined this season - she dominated challenges and her looks were always on point. I'm sad that Raven didn't win but the truth is, she didn't win a lot of challenges and she just couldn't go above and beyond for whatever reason.

Jujubee didn't take the crown, but I'm sure she is the fan-favorite this season. Her personality and wit makes her such a joy to watch.

Shannel opened up and let us see some of the pain that drives her. That moment when she said she finally realized she was good enough brought tears to my eyes.

All in all, it was a great season, and Chad, the most deserving queen, won the first Hall of Fame spot. But I think there's room on that wall for a few more queens. Jujubee, Raven, and Shannel are all winners and will always be associated with the very first All Stars Drag Race, kinda like a Royal Court of fabulous queens, Drag Race Royalty, if you will.

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RHOBH - Oh Hi, Ojai!

I hate these kinds of episodes, because you know they're just ramping up the the real drama that's gonna happen next week. It's all the setting up before the big party, you know? Anyway, Monday's RHOBH was a lot of prep work, not so much pay off. I mean, we did get the rest of Adrienne and Lisa's talk, which was good and we got the drama at dinner at the end. But it was a whole lot of filler in between. And these ladies know about filler. But, let's get to it. And from now on, I'm only addressing the key players in the episodes, so if someone isn't mentioned, they didn't make the cut. 

Let's grade these HW's!

Kim: This trip to Ojai was totally your idea, which is great, because in other seasons you were very anti-social. So, seeing you get everyone together was very refreshing to watch. You were an awesome hostess and you kept it together even when some of the girls were bitching about the bedroom situation. You looked calm and happy. I'm really happy for you. The moments with you and Brandi talking at dinner were really touching. You recognized that even though she's not your favorite person, you had to make an effort, and you did. When you two really came together in this totally genuine private moment, you got emotional, which is totally natural. Kim's grade for the week: A (I like her a lot and I think she's come a long way).

Kyle: You kind of got slammed by Lisa at dinner for imitating her. Here's what. It probably got old, and she told you so in her way. I don't know what it is about you and Lisa this season, but there's definitely a change. You being in the middle of the whole Adrienne/Lisa thing isn't working. And I have to point out that you do an awful lot of commenting about Lisa to Adrienne and the other ladies. Not sure what that's about. Why did you feel like you had to speculate about how Lisa felt about sharing a room with Brandi? I do agree with you about Brandi telling Adrienne to shut the f*ck up at dinner. You're right, she should have said something else. Kyle's grade for the week: C (I'm not sure why she feels like she has to imitate Lisa (or mock her) and then crack jokes about her, it's making her look like a crappy friend).

Brandi: Congratulations on the book, but that title is no bueno. I think you could come up with something much better. And unless your book is about cancer, you shouldn't put the word "cancer" in the title. That's just my opinion. I do like the idea of the book, though. You're telling us how you got through all the mistakes and ups and downs in your life; and I'll probably read it just because I do like how you tell it like it is. No matter the words you choose, you do tell it like it is. I loved your photo shoot for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine - you looked gorgeous, thumb wrinkle and all! But seriously, you can't be so hard on yourself when it comes to your looks. I really appreciated how sincere you were with Kim at dinner on the trip and I think you two were genuinely bonding at that table. When Kim got emotional, it was real. So, I understand why you were upset when Adrienne announced it to everyone. I don't agree with the way you said it, but you were almost protecting Kim in a way. You knew what Adrienne was doing by pointing out that Kim was crying and you weren't having it. Brandi's grade for the week: B (she says it like she means it, but I wish she could choose her words more wisely!).

Lisa: I loved that you thanked Adrienne for the flowers during your sit down. I just think you're super classy, and again, you can adopt me whenever you want. I get your humor. So when you say that you didn't mean to make Adrienne that nervous or refer to the whole "hoof" thing, I know you're making light of the bullsh*t because it's so ridiculous, how can you not make fun of it? But some people will take offense to it and say that you're mean. I think you can see the humor in those incidents and laugh them off. Your conversation with Adrienne was a success for you because you got the apology you wanted (finally). And I don't blame you for not wanting to be BFF with her again, or for keeping your distance. You accepted the apology and that's that. It helps you two be civil with each other, that's all. The trust was broken and it's probably never going to be repaired. But at least you're not at war - for now. I like your friendship with Brandi and the way you encourage her. It was so generous and nice of you to have her pose for Beverly Hills Lifestyle magazine - such a sweet gesture on your part. Now, as for the trip to Ojai - you did look perturbed about the roommate situation. And you are a little bit of a diva, that's why we love you! At dinner, you snapped at Kyle, which I wasn't really expecting. But when I stopped to think about it, I would be irritated by the whole accent thing too after a while. Lisa's grade for the week: A (she has her guard up with certain people, but I don't blame her, and she seems genuine to me).

Adrienne: I applaud you for apologizing to Lisa. You knew it was the right thing to do and you did it. I don't think you really meant it, though, because you had to remind us that Lisa didn't apologize to you. She didn't apologize because she didn't spread a vicious rumor about you, she made some stupid jokes that you took way too seriously. Unless I'm wrong, in which case, please correct me. And then in Ojai, you had to make a point of saying you're getting a "better bedroom" than Lisa. Petty, petty, petty. Do you hear Lisa talking about you like that? No, because she's an adult. Why are you constantly trying to prove how much better than Lisa you are? Let's talk about the dinner. You see Kim crying and immediately announce it to the group. Why? What were you really trying to accomplish by doing that? Were you trying to imply that Brandi must have done something wrong to make her cry? But you weren't counting on Brandi actually being on Kim's side and telling you to shut the f*ck up. So you ended up looking stupid. Because you inserted yourself into a conversation that had nothing to do with you and you made it awkward for everyone. It's time for you to focus on yourself and why you feel like you need to tattle on Brandi and one-up Lisa - because it's not about them, it's about what's going on with you. Adrienne's grade for the week: D (she is looking so childish right now).

Taylor: You say Brandi is toxic because you never know what she's going to say or do. Pot, meet kettle. Taylor's grade for the week: F (you better check yourself before you wreck yourself, gurl).

Camille: Give it a rest about Frasier Crane's privates, already! (No grade, I just wanted to tell her that!)

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RHOA - Lies and Complaints

Sunday's Real Housewives of Atlanta was not the best episode this season, by far. The best episode will be this coming up Sunday when Kim quits the show. Hallelujah!!! I will be praise dancing all up and down my living room for sure! But until then, let's talk about this pretty tame episode. It wasn't really that juicy at all. Phaedra's son's birthday party and her alleged butt dial conversation, Kim moving (how long does it really take to move? She's been moving since the first episode this season!), and Kenya's boyfriend meets her family. Nothing major here. So from now on, I'm only going to grade the key players in each episode. If you don't get a grade, that means you weren't on the show that week or your role was not relevant to what happened in the episode.

So, here we go.

Kim: Seriously, how long does it take to pack up a house? Even a huge house like that one? You had help! Anyway, you continued to have a sh*tty attitude which was then mirrored back to you by everyone in that house. I will leave that there, you can read into it what you will. You went back to your townhouse, which is perfectly fine for your family, by the way, and everything seems like it will be ok. But no. Where will you tan? Ummm, are you f*cking kidding me? I am just going to say again, I can't wait for you to leave this show. You contribute nothing, you complain constantly, and you're not one bit grateful for what you have. If you were, you wouldn't have that stank look on your face all the time. No one cares that you didn't go to Ayden's party because all you would have done there is complain anyway. Kim's grade for the week: F (I don't find her funny or charming, and she gets on every single one of my nerves).

Kandi: You are 100% right about Kim. She didn't move out quietly and do things like a grown, mature, adult woman, because she's NOT. But, I totally agree with you about that whole situation. I can see that Kim's comments about your house bothered you, so I say tell her to her face that you didn't like what she said. Put her in her place! Moving on, I think you could have had your mom live in the little guest house on your property, but if she has her own place and she's comfortable, that may not be necessary right now. I think if she ever needed to live with you, you would make sure that happened, but that's just my take on it. As for Ayden's party, it was hilarious when you said Phaedra's events are like marathons. Apparently! But hey, you showed up and I'm sure she appreciated it. Kandi's grade for the week: B (she needs to tell Kim how she feels).

Phaedra: Let's cut to the chase. You're a liar. When someone confronts you and you dodge the issue and change the subject? Ding ding ding! You've been caught, hun! If you would have just said, "Yes, Cynthia, I said that when I was in the middle of planning this party, and I didn't mean it, I'm so sorry", this whole thing would have been over. Just like when you refused to come clean about how far along you were in the pregnancy. Everybody knows when you're caught, you're caught. Making a fool out of yourself to get out of telling the truth is just stupid. I can't really understand why you went through so much foolishness just to avoid being real with Cynthia. Phaedra's grade for the week: F (she couldn't take responsibility for what she said, no matter what the reason for saying it, she should have just owned it).

Kenya: We get it. You want to get married. It just seems to me that if you have to do this much convincing, the guy may just not be that into you. Relax! I think you're used to bulldozing over people to get what you want and it's time to stop. Just be the best person you can be and let things happen. You're trying to force everything and it comes across as controlling and overbearing. Not a good look. Dropping hints is not gonna make a man propose any faster. Again, if you have to do this much work, is he really the one for you? Just saying. And I don't even care that you didn't cook that meal. No judgment on that from me. Lest I be judged. Kenya's grade for the week: D (she is forcing things to happen instead of letting them happen and I think that's a huge mistake).

Cynthia: The fury on your face when you heard Phaedra say that she didn't give a f*ck if you came to the party was priceless. I liked the fact that you confronted her about it and even told her you could play the message for her. Now, I don't know where that message came from, but for whatever reason (cough cough producers cough cough), you got a hold of it. And you sat Phaedra down and asked her point blank why she said it. Because you ladies were cool with each other. So it does seem odd that she would say that. I think you handled yourself well on this one. Cynthia's grade for the week: A (she went straight to Phaedra with her concerns, even though she got an absolutely idiotic response).

Nene: Your comedy this episode was on point, from the facial expressions to the jokes, I was LIVING. Nene-haters be damned, you are funny. Of course you had to show Cynthia the message from Phaedra (cough cough producers cough cough), so you did your job. Hey, if this is your last season, you might as well facilitate the drama and stand on the sidelines and watch with the rest of us. Nene's grade for the week: A (for bringing the comedy, I loved it).

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RHOBH - Let the Professionals Perform, Dammit!

I may need a Xanax after watching last night's RHOBH. I mean, the level of immaturity we're seeing this season is already blowing my mind. Just a quick couple of observations: People need to keep other people's names out of their mouths because it only reflects badly on them, more on this later. And don't always insist on being the center of attention, it's annoying. Yolanda threw a great dinner party at her luxurious home and although her husband was definitely a diva, I would gladly sit there and shut up if they ever invited me over, because it was essentially an ultra-exclusive concert. I'm in!

Let's get into the grades so I can read some of these ladies properly.

Yolanda: Your house is amazing. The fact that you designed it speaks to your excellent sense of style. I had asked Lisa to adopt me before, but you can adopt me, too and you two can share custody of me. Now that that's settled, let's talk about the party itself. You went to great lengths to prepare the house for your guests and it showed. I totally understand what kind of parties you throw (not that I've ever attended anything as fabulous, but I get it). You're giving your guests dinner and a show. They're just expected to enjoy it. Not to participate. I think your husband should have been a little more gentle with his delivery of that message. You have professional musicians performing, so anyone with half a brain would sit back and enjoy it and not insist on joining in. As far as David's "homemaker" comment, I think I understand what he was saying - maybe the majority of the women he knows and deals with don't spend the time to host things at their home and take care of most of the details, like we saw you do on this episode. I wasn't mad at that comment at all. I think you were a great hostess in spite of some of your guests' attitudes. Yolanda's grade for the week: A (because I think she's an elegant and sophisticated person who puts a lot of effort into whatever she's doing).

Kyle: I was so glad to see you get the hint when David stopped you from singing at the party. No tea, no shade, but it was best if you didn't. I liked that you hit it off with David and had such a great time at the party. You didn't let not being the center of attention bother you. That's what adults do, they surrender the spotlight when needed. Kyle's grade for the week: B (because she behaved herself at the party).

Kim: You impressed me this week. Of course, you're still quirky, but quirky is good. You had fun at the party and there were no cringey moments from you. I appreciate that. The whole prom scene was fun and sweet. But who was all that food for? LOL! Kim's grade for the week: A (because I see the actual Kim now, and she's pretty cool).

Adrienne: Can I just tell you my theory? Real quick? I think you and Paul were already having problems, so teaming up against Lisa was sort of a mask for those issues. I can't think of any other reason why you and Paul constantly bring her up and rattle of the list of what she's done to you. Actually, it's more Paul than you actually saying it, but you get my point. Paul was so pissed that Lisa ignored him at Yolanda's but then turns around and tells Kyle he's ignoring her? What the f*ck? It just seems like you and Paul are the ones who aren't letting this go. I get that some of Lisa's comments hurt you but you two have to grow up. This is getting ridiculous. The best thing for you would be to forget it and move on. But you both insist on staying mad. I'm glad you asked Lisa to meet up with you to work things out and I cannot wait to see what happens in next week's episode. Adrienne's grade for the week: C (because I think she's still too concerned with Lisa even though Paul is doing all the sh*t talking).

Lisa: I think you're right to keep your distance from Adrienne, because you already know that you will not be able to resume a friendship with her without an apology. Like I said before, I can't wait to see how you two handle each other in next week's episode. But you know, that comment about the meeting being as short as Adrienne is didn't go over well. You did walk away from Paul and Adrienne when they entered the party, but after that, you were polite enough. Maybe it would have been better to say hello, but I have a feeling no matter what you do, they will complain. At the party, you also had the good sense to not insist on singing. It was nice to see you laughing and joking with everyone. Lisa's grade for the week: B (because she was civil, which is all an adult needs to be with other adults).

Taylor: Um, I am embarrassed to say this, but I just heard your intro line and ... what the f*ck were you thinking saying that sh*t? You worked hard for that zip code? Ugh ... I can't with you. Let's just talk about the episode. First, you need to cool it with the booze. Like, now. Yolanda is totally right, drunk women are unattractive. You brought up Brandi - for God knows what reason because she wasn't there and no one was talking about her. It was unnecessary and juvenile. Then, you get all offended because David told you not to sing. No shade, but shade, yeah don't. Because, in all honesty, you were a guest to their party and they give parties differently than you do. Yes, David was rude about it. But you got overly offended. Your problem wasn't that he told you not to sing. Your problem was that he was taking the attention off of you and putting it on the professionals. You could not stand to not be the center of attention. And that's the real T. To make matters worse, you pouted and bitched during the remainder of the party. Here's a thought, there's the door. You don't like this party? See yourself out. I mean, how ungrateful can you be? Because you weren't allowed to sing? You're a mess. Taylor's grade for the week: F (for being such an attention-whore that she would rather sing instead of enjoy the exclusive concert right in front of her).

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RuPaul's All Star Drag Race & Untucked - Final FOUR!

I am LIVING over last night's Drag Race and Untucked!! OMG! Can we just talk about the lipsync for one second? Jujubee and Raven lost their sh*t before the song even started. It was so sad! I couldn't believe they didn't win the challenge. I loved all the gurls' looks, but I honestly thought Team Shad would lose and Shannel would go home. Good thing they don't pay me to make predictions.

Let's talk about the challenge a little bit. No grades this week because, really, these ladies are werking their asses off, and they're all 10s in my book. Now, the challenge was for each team to become a supervillain/superhero duo. But first, that mini challenge had me in stitches. That was hilarious. Kudos to whoever thought of that one. I was dying laughing. Back to the main challenge. The queens did a look for their characters in their version of day wear and in their characters' official comic book costume. They also had to perform choreography for a theme song "Good vs. Evil". Shannel was the villain for her team, and she really had fun with it on the runway. Her day wear look was this beautiful one sleeved gown and classic Shannel hair. The costume look was her S&M inspired look that we've seen before, complete with face mask. She rocked it out! Chad was the hero and both of her looks were great. She wore this beautiful red chiffon number with a long scarf which served as a sort of mini cape, while her costume look was a really cool bustier with a full cape, all in reds and yellows. Jujubee killed the day wear look, but her costume look was read for filth because of its simplicity. It was a white body suit with silver accents and bright red long hair with bangs. I thought she looked amazing! But, there was no cape, no belt, etc. I thought she looked like Scarlett Johansen in The Avengers, only more fierce. So, for me, her costume look was a winner. Raven blew me away with her costume look. It was this amazing black cloak with a blonde wig and clear plastic face mask that just took it to a whole other level. Her day look was this super cute summer dress with Mariah-esque hair and loads of body.

To me, they all rocked the challenge. But, one team had to win and it was Shad. I think the judges liked their version of comic book characters because they were so over the top. Raven and Jujubee had great looks, but maybe they were more subdued than what the judges were wanting. Although, Michelle Visage showed Rujubee a lot of love, and she was totally on point with what she said about them. They were totally Marvel-like. Santino, of course, had his two cents and that's no surprise. I honestly don't see Jujubee ever wearing that body suit to a club, though, for real. Wendi McLendon-Covey was awesome as a guest judge and her critiques were on point. Elvira was very adamant in her opinions and she was definitely going for Shad to win it.

Then the lipsync happened and I think we all held our breath. How in the world was this going to work out for anyone? I couldn't believe what was happening and as the lipsync ended, Raven hadn't moved from her mark the whole time and Jujubee was clearly distraught. Even Chad and Shannel were visibly upset. Not a dry eye at the judges' table. RuPaul, in her infinite wisdom, and perfect Catwoman-inspired regalness, uttered the words we all wanted to hear: "You both stay." That moment was one of the most perfect moments in Drag Race herstory.

F*ck it, it's a top four! Now, the question is, now that it's individual, who's your pick? For me it's a toss up between Raven and Chad.

On Untucked, Jujubee lost her shit due to stress and I was so relieved to see that it was just a brief outburst and not a full-on fight. Now, some of the viewers may be upset that Jujubee was commenting on Shannel's obvious kissing-up to Elvira. I say, let her kiss up. RuPaul makes the final decision in the end. And the Puerto Rican queens got a huge shout out! HOLLA!!! Chuletas, YAAASSSS, b*tch!!

I am so looking forward to the finale next Monday night. We'll have our All Stars Hall of FAM-AAAAHHHH!!!!!

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